The Bloggess: not for eating

My friend Jessica at Snaptacular Photos turned me on to this thing.  It’s a random slogan generator.  You just put in your name and it gives you a cool new slogan.  Like this:



Let’s do another one.




Huh.  What’s with the bizarre cannibalism references, random slogan generator?






Okay, stop it.


Stop.  Just stop.



89 replies. read them below or add one

  1. You sound delicious.

    Nicole P.’s last blog post..Off My Lawn, You Damn Kids!!


  2. What kind of weird freak came up with these slogans? Sounds to me like whoever it was needs therapy.

    Jess’s last blog post..Mini copyediting course, part 2


  3. Holy crap!! That is hysterical! I love the model’s “Wassup. You lookin’ at me?” face…

    Danielle’s last blog post..“It’s Like Nothing Ever Changed.”


  4. Um…WTF?? I don’t even know what half of that means? Why would anyone ever put the Bloggess on their knife. In a colander, maybe.

    Greta’s last blog post..Guinness in the Glutz Chicken


  5. I love the finger one. Those are a bit scary though. I wonder what it would say for mine.

    Phoenix’s last blog post..Eating Susie on the Cara-Bean


  6. Wow! I am amazed at the number of times my entire comment here consists of ‘wow’.

    Sandy’s last blog post..a child’s garden of proverbs


  7. I tried it. I got these:

    Pardon me, do you have any grey Greta?

    Greta, the other white meat.

    Everything looks better in Greta.

    Thanks Jenny, I’m scarred for life. Or…at least for another hour 😉

    Greta’s last blog post..Guinness in the Glutz Chicken


  8. 8
    Just A. Reader

    The Bloggess. Mmmm … mmmm … good!


  9. OMG – That’s so cray-zay!!! But I can’t stop myself from heading over to see what slogans it gives me!

    wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Oral Fixation?


  10. I’m a marketing manager by day and I have to say sometimes our ideas get a little dry. I’m going to suggest this to my boss just to see what he says.

    Sara’s last blog post..Check Out the Peaches On This Lady!


  11. What the hell is wrong with the model? She looks like she actually did try to eat somebody and it didn’t work out too well for her. Either that or she has the long, hard handle of a broom stuck up her ass.

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..I’ve been Memed!


  12. There are those who would say, if a lovely blond wants to eat me, who am I to complain.

    I’m not one of those people, but I’m sure they exist.

    Candy’s last blog post..An Interview!


  13. That thing actually read my mind: “There ain’t no party like a Catazon party!” Amen!

    Catazon’s last blog post..Bad Omen for Traveling


  14. HAHA! Yours *are* kinda scary..I got some good ones.

    I want my Catizhere.
    There can be only one…Catizhere.
    Wouldn’t you rather be Catizhere?

    Catizhere’s last blog post..Docker’s No Iron Twill? I think NOT.


  15. I suspected it was a Brit site from the slogans–they’re old ad slogans from when I was growing up. And now, I cannot get them out of my head!!??!!

    (Fudge Chocolate Bar)

    (Country Life Butter)

    Marmite Breath’s last blog post..Good or Bad, Happy or Sad


  16. ROFLMAO!!

    When I went to the site, the banner across the top read “I WAS A THE BLOGGESS WEAKLING” — I’m yours. Do with me what you will.

    Alicia’s last blog post..Good news, in two parts


  17. Again, no flamethrower. fail.

    furiousball’s last blog post..Cat Powered by Food


  18. that is fucking fantastic.

    (you know, i question furiousball and his fascination with flamethrowers.)


  19. I guess that’s what happens when you dress up as Brittany Spears for Halloween – everyone knows she’s being eaten alive.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Well… that was quick


  20. “the orangeblossoms with the hole in it” And a bunch more. See if I post That on my blog!

    Orangeblossosm’s last blog post..Super Fat Tuesday and Marking Ash Wednesday


  21. I think that site is a part of the World Wide Conspiracy of the Giant Squid, whose leader, Great Cthulhu, is… hungry.


    Ed T.’s last blog post..Sunrise


  22. *snort* i went and it said “turn loose the bloggess” i like that one..but not nearly as much as “the bloggess, it’s what’s for dinner” hehe

    biddy’s last blog post..Dear Invisible Valentine,


  23. I’m scared. Hold me, Jenny. But only until the people come to eat you- then you may put me down.

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..My dad is in the hospital again


  24. Oooh, I like mine. “Strong Enough for a Man, Made for a Simply Jenn.”

    Does this mean I get a strong man now to add to my collection?

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..My dad is in the hospital again


  25. Or “Beware of expensive Simply Jenn”. I’ll stop now, I promise- but mine aren’t canabalistic like yours. Must be punishment for the scabies.

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..My dad is in the hospital again


  26. This is just too funny – I had to go check it out and across the top, it said “The Bloggess that eats like a meal.”

    What is it about the Bloggess that makes it think of all things oral?

    And I’m not sure what it thinks of me… Perhaps that I should be dressed in black leather and spikes?

    “The Sayre of Confidence”

    “Splash Sayre All Over”

    “I liked the Sayre so much I bought the company!”

    “Let’s Face the Music and Sayre”

    “Sayre – it does a body good!”

    Hmmmm… what do you think?

    Sayre’s last blog post..The REAL me


  27. I think that the random comment generator wants to eat my flesh, that’s what I think.

    Also I think that you guys are hysterical and that “Splash Sayre All Over” is an excellent tagline.

    PS. Marmite Breathe – I will have that butter song in my head for the rest of my life.


  28. Mine was “I want to be a Candy’s Corner Weiner”. Which I frankly love, but I can’t figure out how to put it on my blog, so ah well…at least it gave me 10 minutes of mindless fun.

    Candy’s last blog post..An Interview!


  29. A finger of The Bloggess? Is there some kind of morality tale regarding losing your fingers for money?

    Now I’m just overthinking it.

    Love random generators. They help me dick around on the internet for hours longer than necessary.

    Sunshine’s last blog post..It’s Not a Contest, It’s a Brain Teaser


  30. Sunshine – maybe the finger of The Bloggess has to do with sacrificing cat toes…

    Sayre’s last blog post..The REAL me


  31. You’ve Always Got Time For Luann.Enter a word for your own slogan: Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more Luann slogans.

    Luann’s last blog post..Tuesday night dream


  32. You are my go-to girl for randomness on the Intarwebs. LOL.

    Maybe a Giant Squid is behind the slogan generator…and it wants to EAT YOU!

    Kyla’s last blog post..How?


  33. Now I’m scared, because it told me “If You Like A Lot Of The Journey On Your Biscuit, Join Our Club.”

    and also?

    “Do You Eat The The Journey Last?”


    Kyla’s last blog post..How?


  34. “Devon Knows How They Make Spamboy So Creamy.”

    That explains *everything*!

    Spamboy’s last blog post..Updates for January 19, 2008


  35. Oh! That’s fun! I’ve just spent WAY too much time on that…

    My favorite (ok, one of my 50 favorites):
    “Next to the Breast, My Circus Life’s the Best.”

    CircusKelli’s last blog post..I Know People


  36. Hmph. I don’t get it. Mine just said “Help me, Stjnky, I’m being held hostage in an Indonesian slogan-generating sweatshop.”


  37. I just had to come read the comments, but you know, they are not nearly as crude as I had anticipated… Is it just me?

    kittenpie’s last blog post..It’s Not My Fault, It Was The Dog…


  38. Holy crap! I want to try it but now I’m scared!


  39. Well, if I were a cannibal, I’d be hunting your ass down.

    ~JJ!’s last blog post..Haiku Headache


  40. I got some awesome ones:

    “Leggo my Lauraszoo”
    “I feel like Lauraszoo tonight”
    “what would you do for a Lauraszoo?”
    “Think Lauraszoo”
    “Thank Lauraszoo it’s Friday”
    “What’s in your Lauraszoo”

    Okay okay, I’ll stop now!
    PS. I got it, It’s BEAUTIFUL!! Thanks! I’ll send you an email tonight.

    Lauraszoo’s last blog post..I made a difference in someones day


  41. Seems to me they’ve got a pretty good handle on your blog. 😉

    NotSoSage’s last blog post..Three: A Birthday in Pictures*


  42. LMAO! Those are hillarious 🙂

    Jenty’s last blog post..Bathing with monsters


  43. I don’t know – maybe Viktor does think the Bloggess is lickin’ good. heh heh heh

    Karmyn R’s last blog post..More Proverb Fun


  44. How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a Lindsay? Wouldn’t y’all like to know.

    Lindsay’s last blog post..Welcome To The Best Day EVER!


  45. Your missing one that it should have generated…
    The Bloggess Finger Licking Good!


  46. OK OK – so I shoulda went to the site first then posted. But I think I just broke the cannibal run, and came up with your new slogan:

    It’s the Bloggess Fizz That Does the Bizz

    Yep that’s you!


  47. I got a bunch (see blog), including (not pictured on blog) “How do you eat YOUR markira?”

    Totally fun.

    If I were you, however, I would hide the condiments before you went to sleep tonight.

    markira’s last blog post..My New Slogans


  48. I lucked out, I quite like mine. I forsee me doing this for hours.

    I bet he drinks Julaberry

    With a name like Julaberry it has to be good

    Julaberry comes to those who wait

    The non-sticky Sticky Julaberry

    LaLa’s last blog post..Far be it for me to tell anyone to vote?


  49. Sometimes I don’t know who is funnier, you or your readers. Just kidding! You know you are the funniest. But they are a very close 2nd! I laugh so hard when I read all your comments.

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Eye Update and other stuff…


  50. The commenters are always funnier than me. Except for that time I wrote about my great-aunt who was violently bludgeoned to death. I was totally funnier on that one.


  51. I know I may have a problem, but I just got: Silly Rabbit, Lauraszoo is for kids.

    how perfect.

    Lauraszoo’s last blog post..I made a difference in someones day


  52. What? No, “your bloggess is in my chocolate and your bloggess is in my peanut butter?”

    flutter’s last blog post..Therapy notes: I am you. You are someone else who isn’t you. An imaginary friend? Don’t look at me like that!


  53. I got

    Time to Make The Hatchet
    Too Good to Hurry The Hatchet
    Hatchet Makes Everything Better

    I like it!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Always Respect the Claws


  54. I can’t read your site right now. I have bronchitis and I just spent 15 minutes trying to gasp enough air into my lungs to type. STOP MAKING ME LAUGH, DAMMIT!


  55. A Smooth-Running Janet is a Relaxing Experience.

    oh dear lord….

    janet’s last blog post..The “Twilight” of our existence


  56. Mine:

    Feel the Raw Naked Pattie on the Road.

    Um….don’t know what that means….

    Pattie’s last blog post..Therapy


  57. Now see Jenny, the random slogan generator doesnt always want to eat you.
    “There’s first love, and there’s the bloggess love” Nice.
    “Cleans right around the bloggess” They also think you are a little dirty.
    (I kept your name in there because I don’t have a blog, I just love you… I mean yours…)


  58. Thanks for the link love, Jenny!

    Did you crash it from asking for too many damn slogans?

    I did. 🙂


  59. OMG Tears in my eyes..
    Use “piece of shit” as your word
    Good thing I am the only one at work right now, otherwise people would be asking me why I am crying.


  60. Lisa, you are my new best friend. That is awesome.


  61. *Beaming with joy*

    Jenny, you are awesome.


  62. I don’t know how I have missed you for all this time. But I have just spent the last hour reading your archives, and I am in blog heaven. You are truly the Bloggess.

    My husband hates you now. He’s home for the first time in a week and I’m still on the computer. Getting off now.

    Jenni’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday: I Forget


  63. Is that Paris Hilton’s body double? Oh wait. Paris Hilton doesn’t need a body double.

    So when are you going to start selling your “Get yer Hot Blogess Here?” t-shirts?

    amusing’s last blog post..Even when the left hand doesn’t know what the right one is doing…


  64. OK. I totally missed that one about your great-aunt who was violently bludgeoned to death! I’ll have to look at your archives.

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..The Dom Perignon Mystery & Other Champagne Adventures


  65. Some how the sushi I just ordered doesn’t seem very appealing very now.

    clickmom’s last blog post..bruised


  66. Totally cool, and tasty apparently.

    Tracey’s last blog post..Appomattox Court House, Virginia


  67. I got this one for you….

    Plop, plop, fizz, fizz oh what a the Bloggess it is.

    Love it!

    Erica’s last blog post..I’m raising good kids!


  68. With statements like

    There’s More Than One Way To Eat The Bloggess!


    The Bloggess Finger Licking Good!

    I’m surprised the dirty minds here haven’t come to what should be a fairly obvious conclusion… Jenny’s found a new pr0n site!



    Ed T.’s last blog post..Saturday, in the Park


  69. Newbie visiting from Liv.

    Gotta have a go at that one.

    Maddy’s last blog post..Bloggers of the world Award


  70. Life should taste as good as Redneck Mommy.

    I’m gonna have that tattooed on my husband’s arm. Or put in on my business cards.

    Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Bad to Worse


  71. Thanks for the post… I saw that site a long time ago and had completely forgotten about it. Have you tried the other stuff on there, like the battle monkeys and stuff? They’re hilarious. Oh, and I tagged you for a meme, if you want to play. 🙂

    seven’s last blog post..Frosting And Other Yummy Stuff.


  72. “I like the Bloggess in you.”

    Damselfly’s last blog post..The Mighty Wind


  73. Oh, I haven’t been to the random slogan generator in ages!
    First click with your url gave me:
    “Chocolate The Bloggess Since 1911.”
    Mmm…chocolate. *drool* 😀

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Ho to the Hum – anyone got a bottle of rum?


  74. that is an awesome gadget! i will be copying it soon.

    piglet’s last blog post..cute puppy pictures


  75. […] coming soon to a greasy bathroom near you! Posted on March 5, 2008 by dailypiglet i lifted this nifty toy from the the bloggess. […]


  76. […] blog… it’s The AUTOMATIC Random Slogan Generator tool (which I discovered thanks to The Bloggess). You and I BOTH know, if it’s automatic, it’s got to be […]


  77. […] tried madame jenny the bloggess’s sloganizer that she posted about the other day and came up with some hilarious results. okay, well, at least […]


  78. As I was reading this, I was thinking to myself: “I need to tell her to check out this slogan generator, because it doesn’t have all those scary food references”, but then I went to it, and the first slogan that popped up was “Melody. It’s what’s for dinner”.

    Motherf*cker indeed.

    Sunshine/Melody’s last blog post..Changes


  79. OMG, that’s hilarious.

    The Bloggess, it’s what’s for dinner.


    The Bloggess, the other white meat.

    Rhea’s last blog post..A Jedi Car, Purple Grass & A Bad Mom


  80. Well goddamn it. You get cannabalism but apparently, i’m just a tramp. I got:

    Life should taste as good as Gina.
    Gina keeps going and going.
    Naughty but Gina
    Gina Just feels Good
    Make it a Gina Night
    Unloose the Gina

    Gina (@amoxcalli on Twitter)’s last blog post..Arroz con pollo


  81. Durnit, now you’ve made me hungry.(In my best Homor Simpson voice) “Mmmmmm. Bloggess …. ghaaaaa”

    ZenMom’s last blog post..Super Loooove


  82. I may have to try this! Another way to avoid feeding the family!

    mrsmogul’s last blog post..DIY Valentine’s Day Graphic: Great for procrastinators who just want to get it out of the way


  83. Yeah such applications are putting us copywriters out of a job. Makes it look far too easy.

    golublog’s last blog post..We Live in Public trailer


  84. I love how as increasingly cannibalistic the references get, her face remains in this weird apathetic state of disillusionment.

    Saskia’s last blog post..People and Trauma and all of the Beauty in between.


  85. He he he… mine said “The Best Part of Waking Up is Spit And Vinegar In Your Cup.”

    Shawna’s last blog post..The Mother In Law Chronicles Part One


  86. Isn’t this all rather zombie-esque?


    happyhourmary recently posted Burnsley Lounge.

  87. 87

    Thank you for introducing me to this slogan generator. Naturally, the first thing I did was type in the word “Penis.” I got “Top breeders recommend penis” and laughed for 15 minutes.


  88. You look so different without your curlers.


    Maddy recently posted Interview with Alexei Maxim Russell.

  89. 89
    Lady Penelope

    Inspired by Lisa @ comment 59: – “Come fly the friendly ass’ = gold!
    Oh god I’m gonna be on this thing all day …


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