You know Timbaland’s “The Way I Are“? In spite of the title which makes me cringe, I cannot stop loudly singing this song every time I hear it. It’s a duet by Timbaland and his girlfriend about how he doesn’t have any money (Really, Timbaland? You don’t have any money?) but she still lets him grope her anyway. I was sure the chick was singing “Hey baby, it’s alright, you ain’t gotta flaunt it for me. You can still touch my nuts for free.” which is sweet because there just aren’t enough transvestite love songs out there, but then I read the lyrics and it turns out that what she’s actually saying is that he can still touch her “love” for free, not her nuts, which is just disappointing. Also instead of “You ain’t gotta flaunt it for me” she’s actually saying “You ain’t gotta floss for me.” No joke. That’s what she’s saying. Whatever, non-transvestite. You may not be charging for a nut-touch but if he loves you, he’ll floss. That’s just good hygiene.
MY INSTAGRAMI think my great-grandmother would be proud of my satin stitch.22 down. 14 to go.Life hack: If you have rheumatoid arthritis it can hurt to get massages so I don’t get them, but lots of nail salons offer hot paraffin baggies for your feet and hot, wet towels to wrap around your legs and it’s almost as relaxing as a real massage. And much cheaper. Also, I don’t have to take off my bra. Win.