FREE BOOZE!

in functions I shouldn't be allowed to attend, Random Crap, The People's Party, Titles that will attract drunks.

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So last year I was totally verklempt to have snagged an invite to attend a pre-blogher party thrown by the cool kids and I spent the entire time I was there hiding in the bathroom wishing I’d brought more anti-anxiety pills.  Which is why this year I was shocked to be asked to actually co-host the party.  I suspect it’s some sort of cruel joke and that halfway through the night I’ll find myself drenched in pig blood with half-naked girls throwing tampons at me.   Which actually?  Kinda sounds hot. 

 Anyway, the hosts this year are famous, hysterical, paranoid, amazing, Canadian and socially retarded so if you fall into any of these categories you are invited.  And best of all?  Free booze from our fab sponsors!  RSVP here, bitches.  It starts at 8 and it’s in the Elizabethan Room (2nd floor) of the Westin( St. Francis) where Blogher is being held.

And for those of you who can’t go, I suggest prostitution.  It’s an excellent money-maker, plus you can make your own hours.  And for those of you who think you’re too good for prostitution (you’re not) we’re attempting to put together a live video feed so we can toast, twitter and chat with you in real-time even if you’re at home but I suck at this crap so someone who can teach me about it  who can do this for me please email me and I will be your best friend forever or set you up with a prostitute.  Your choice.

This is where I’d mention all the people pitching in to get us tanked but I’m supposed to put that little R-with-a-circle-around-it behind their names and I don’t know how to do that so instead I’ll just show you pretty pictures of them: 

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Oooh.  Pretty.

Now get to hooking people.  That plane ticket to San Francisco isn’t going to earn itself.

*PS.  Feel free to steal the party button for yourself.  Power to the people.

UPDATED:

More sponsors = More booze and swag.  Yay for booze and swag.

  

 

 

 

 

87 thoughts on “FREE BOOZE!”

Read comments below or add one.

  6. WAAAAH, I want to get drunky McSkunky with the Bloggess and co.! (I just totally wrote Blobbess, which would be another great name for a blog!)

    FabGirl’s last blog post..Un-Deep Thoughts

  9. Sounds like so much fun! Can’t bring myself to attempt prostitution to make it, but I’ll be living vicariously from Austin, Texas.

  13. Ugghhh! I am both paranoid and socially retarded, and I can’t go. I can’t even live vicariously because my computer doesn’t have sound. I am such a loser.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..dogs

  17. OMG. I wanna goooooooooooooooo. Social Anxiety sucks people! Truly it does. I WILL be at BlogHer eventually and y’all better WATCH OUT! Have some shots for me!!!!!

    NotAMeanGirl’s last blog post..Thank You…

  19. Oh my gosh! I have been waiting my whole life for an invitation to prostitution. I can’t believe you finally provided that little nudge I needed. I’m going to be more of a high priced call girl though, because I think “prostitution” is demeaning.

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to my oldest baby…

  20. Have a cocktail for me..It’s like the world series of blogging and I don’t have a ticket..so I’ll just watch it on TV.. Have a cocktail for me!!

    mp’s last blog post..The new look

  22. O.K. I will see what I can do.

    Since the truckstop is gone I will have to work the corner across from Hubby’s shop. And that means competing with the FAT wig lady. (Don’t worry even though I am skinny and anxiety laden and scared of everyone I can take that fat bitch.)

    I will find you!!!! (In my best Daniel Day Lewis Voice)

    Faith’s last blog post..Brutally Honest Monday

  24. Reminds me of that old awful joke.

    What’s the worst job in the world? Assistant Crack-Whore.

    I’m also jealous of not getting to party. (Also I quit hooking ‘cuz there was a total glass ceiling/floor ‘cuz of my overachieving head crack-whore boss.)

    Greta’s last blog post..Can You Go Blind from Twittering Yourself?

  26. If memory serves, this is exactly how Pretty Woman started. Dare I dream?

    Does anyone have any contacts in Mexico re: organ donation for a fee?

  27. Oh goodness. If only I didn’t have a wedding that weekend. Can we have a pre-party practice party here in Houston beforehand? On a weekday or a Sunday? Wouldn’t that be FUN???

    Christine’s last blog post..Top, Top, AllTop?

  30. Jenny, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: Taunting me with Blogher is like throwing sand in my crack. Stop! It! I burn with jealousy and abrasions.

    anne nahm’s last blog post..Pop Quiz

  31. Jenny, I went to Guy Kawasaki’s blog to pick up my alltop badge, found him giving kudos to you and a link to Good Mom/Bad Mom, which linked me here. Social Media Domino. Next I’ll be looking for you on Twitter. I look forward to meeting you at the party! Flying in from LA July 17th and at the Westin through Sunday.
    @lindasherman

  33. Ok. So I’ll definitely be there after downing a fifth of vodka and popping a few xanax. And if I can muster up the courage to come in ALONE (since Steph is having some dinner w/ east coast mommy bloggers) then YOU can muster up the courage to come to eat dinner with us Saturday night. Biz-natch. Just sayin’.

    Defiantmuse’s last blog post..Conversations of the past few days…

  37. I am SURE you do NOT mean me when you mention hooking and plane tickets not buying themselves. If you did, THANK YOU for not linking or referring to Ravenclaw.

    I’ll be there and am expecting Mansinthe.

    I know you know what I mean because I am sure Victor is a fan of Marilyn Manson.

    Julie Pippert’s last blog post..What’s so special about today is…

  38. I’m going to be partying with the lesser-known blogging chicks at the BFF in Niagara Falls then, damnit. Although I’m assured that we’ll be attempting live video feed so we can ogle see you lucky bastads all y’all and your debauchery.

    We’ll be the ones with the (large but notfree) booze, smiling through our teeth.

    daysgoby’s last blog post..up the road

  39. I’d so love to go. I’ll be at the n00b party that same night. I’m thinking it’s probably the same time, but who knows. Guess I’ll investigate this further.

    LA Blogger Gal’s last blog post..Those Dog Days

  41. Maybe I’ll get myself some of those tigh high boots like Pretty woman, complete with the markered in toes. Oh yeah, and a blond wig too! Yeah, that’ll do the “trick.”

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Manic Monday

  45. Every year I think about going and every year I decide not to. This year? Two kids going to college and two new (or semi-new) cars to buy. I could try to scare up some “business” between now and then, but even if I could make the entrance to Trump Tower my Command Central, no amount of frenzied “hooking” would make me enough cash to do what I need to do, let alone what I’d like to do. Even with my passable looks, no one wants to screw a 49-year old writer/teacher. Even I wouldn’t screw me. Ah…elusive fame!

    AB’s last blog post..When there just aren’t any words…literally.

  48. Jenny, is it absolutely mandatory that all of us earn the money by hooking? If so, that doesn’t really seem fair, since women don’t seem to want to pay for sex. Plus, when you add in the fact that if those of us who aren’t female were already in San Fran, where we might have a chance of hooking successfully, we wouldn’t need to earn the money to begin with, now would we?

    © myocardia™

  49. I love the idea that i could earn air fare to San Fran by hooking. Ha. In this city, incredible lay that I am, i’d be lucky to get dinner. At MacDonalds from the proceeds.
    in fact i’m a bit worried about my skills generally as friday night’s date took me to a Wetherspoons (brit bar chain where drinks are sooo cheap that the drunks sit outside with their cans of special brew waiting for it to open.) So, no air fare for me, no second date for him. Hey ho.

    HerImperialMajesty’s last blog post..So squishy

  50. Crap. I guess this means I’ll have to dig out my glitter boots and go walk the strip, ’cause so far, I ain’t going!

    Boo-hoo!

  55. Tip to n00b prostitutes or wannabes–
    the big dough is in dominatrix work. SOOO much less messy–actually, you can get them to lick your floors clean AND pay you for the honor. I’m surprised more mommybloggers don’t do it. Or maybe they do, what do I know. They might not write about it cause they don’t want to exploit their johns for readers.

    Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..Hannah Montana and the Case of the Vanity Privacy Towel

  58. BTW, I am surprised you aren’t holding the party at the Absinthe factory across the Bay. (Yep – they are opening one up at the former NAS Alameda – where ‘the nooklwear wessels’ used to hang out. Guess they had to do something with all that old jet juice.)

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Possible Tourorist Activity

  60. oh whew! your site isn’t blocked by smartfilter now….

    turns out it was Ken Coomer, the former drummer of Wilco fame. He’s fallen on hard times and is now in charge of my employer’s network security. He misread the post about Being Kawasaki’d as a panning review of Being There. Ken actually can’t read at all.

    He’d be mad that I was outing him as an illiterate, but that’s the fun part about outing illiterates in text, they’ll never know. haha fuckers.

    furiousball’s last blog post..shoulder this

  63. “And for those of you who can’t go, I suggest prostitution. It’s an excellent money-maker, plus you can make your own hours”

    WTF am I doing Etsy for man? Clearly, I should have huddled with you for ideas first.

    Lotta’s last blog post..Contest: Your Mama!

  73. …

    I can’t even imagine being there…

    can’t….even….imagine.

    (I wouldn’t be in the bathroom, I’d be under the table. Alone.)

    (and I’m outgoing, but this would scare the crap outta me. Can anyone say “out of my league”???)

    Robin’s last blog post..Friday’s 40-or-less Photo Challenge (1)

  78. Pingback: Good Mom / Bad Mom

  82. This will be my first year. I’ll be attending all the parties, invited or not. But really the one I want to go to is the People’s party because it sounds like EVERYONE is gonna be there!

    Oh and course I SO want to meet you Jenny. Who cares about Dooce or Douche is it?? I’d love to live vicariously through you so I’ll know what it feels like to be a F*****G Dirty Mouth Cool Bitch:) Oh yeah!

    A Cowboy’s Wife’s last blog post..Photography Tips: Standing Tall

  83. Got in too late last time to make it to the party. But this time, THIS TIME, I’ll be getting in early. Promise to stop by before I have to put the kiddo to bed. (Yeah, I already said I was going, just dropping in to say I should still be there. As if it matters. Heh.)

    becky’s last blog post..Something BlogHer this way comes

  86. Pingback: Good Mom / Bad Mom

  87. I’m highly bummed that I’ll miss this party. I’ll be just getting into SFO and all the good drinking will most likely be over with by the time I get through baggage claim and checked into the hotel.

    Woe.

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