Okay, prepare to have your mind blown or to be utterly nonplussed.
In a few weeks? I’m going out to dinner.
With Guy Kawasaki.
I know, right?! It’s gonna to be like meeting the Pope but with less genuflecting. He’s speaking at a conference in town which sold out in a matter of hours. I’m not sure what it’s about. I suspect tech junk but who the hell cares because it’s Guy freaking Kawasaki, people.
This isn’t like that time when I got all jealous because all the cool bloggers got invited to shampoo camp and The Today Show and so I started that rumor that I was the original voice of the Fraggle Rock muppets. This is actually true. Me and Guy Kawasaki. And Laura and Erica if they can still make it to the restaurant after I slash their tires. (Good luck, bitches.)
Anyway, I’m super excited and also a bit nervous because in real life? Not that entertaining. I plan on just sitting there, awkwardly video taping him while he nervously clears his throat. It’s going to be great because most of my other video tapes of him are all shaky and grainy and end with me getting hassled by the cops for criminal trespassing. Last time Sargent Rodriguez was all “What are ya, some kinda ‘KawaSTALKi‘? Get it? Because you’re stalking Kawasaki?! Hahahaha! I’m so funny! By the way we’ve called your husband and he says he won’t pay the bail again. Prepare to get jail lice.”
And actually I’m a bit surprised that we’re still on for dinner because last week Guy sent everyone on Alltop a badge that looks like this
and I told him that I thought they weren’t edgy enough and so I sent him a few suggestions and he actually featured them all on his blog (!) except for this one
which he had to delete within the first hour because of the large number of complaints about my “horrific insensitivity”.
Turns out though that people really liked my “Alltop: Confirmation that I kick ass” badge so Guy asked me if I had any more and I sent him a bunch, including these:
Surprisingly none of these made the cut. Probably not edgy enough.
You’re right, Sargent Rodriguez. That shit is funny.