Kawa(stalk)i

Okay, prepare to have your mind blown or to be utterly nonplussed.

In a few weeks?  I’m going out to dinner.

.

.

With Guy Kawasaki.

I know, right?!  It’s gonna to be like meeting the Pope but with less genuflecting.  He’s speaking at a conference in town which sold out in a matter of hours.  I’m not sure what it’s about.  I suspect tech junk but who the hell cares because it’s Guy freaking Kawasaki, people.

This isn’t like that time when I got all jealous because all the cool bloggers got invited to shampoo camp and The Today Show and so I started that rumor that I was the original voice of the Fraggle Rock muppets.  This is actually true. Me and Guy Kawasaki.  And Laura and Erica if they can still make it to the restaurant after I slash their tires.  (Good luck, bitches.)

Anyway, I’m super excited and also a bit nervous because in real life?  Not that entertaining.  I plan on just sitting there, awkwardly video taping him while he nervously clears his throat.  It’s going to be great because most of my other video tapes of him are all shaky and grainy and end with me getting hassled by the cops for criminal trespassing.  Last time Sargent Rodriguez was all “What are ya, some kinda ‘KawaSTALKi‘?  Get it?  Because you’re stalking Kawasaki?!  Hahahaha!  I’m so funny!  By the way we’ve called your husband and he says he won’t pay the bail again.  Prepare to get jail lice.” 

And actually I’m a bit surprised that we’re still on for dinner because last week Guy sent everyone on Alltop a badge that looks like this

Alltop, all the top stories

and I told him that I thought they weren’t edgy enough and so I sent him a few suggestions and he actually featured them all on his blog (!) except for this one

alltop_170x30c.jpg

which he had to delete within the first hour because of the large number of complaints about my “horrific insensitivity”. 

Turns out though that people really liked my “Alltop: Confirmation that I kick ass” badge so Guy asked me if I had any more and I sent him a bunch, including these: 

alltop_170x30e.jpg

alltop_170x30h.jpg

alltop_170x30g.jpg

alltop_170x30j.jpg

alltop_170x30i.jpg

alltop_170x30k.jpg

Surprisingly none of these made the cut.  Probably not edgy enough.

PS.  Kawastalki.

 

kawastalki.jpg

You’re right, Sargent Rodriguez.  That shit is funny.

117 replies. read them below or add one

  1. What the hell? You are plenty entertaining in real life.

    I still haven’t figured out really who this kawasaki guy is, but I guess I am happy for you!

    Margaret’s last blog post..General Stuff

  2. I am happy for you, too. Have fun being more famous than me. No, really, go on! Make sure you get a lock of his hair for your voodoo doll.

    Spamboy’s last blog post..Advice from Photo Matt

  3. I have several thoughts.

    First off, why the hell is it that every time you visit my blog you always read the lame posts and never the good ones? I DO have interesting thoughts, damnit.

    Second, I predict that when you meet Kawasaki, some door to an alternate universe is going to open and there will be a black matter imposion at the restaurant. And then inexplicably, everyone else at the restaurant will want to watch gay porn and put a knife in their eye. It’s going to be badass.

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..The Sixth Totally Incensed Tuesday: Today’s T.I.T. = Idaho

  4. Dude. I think Ryan’s supposed to be there too. But did I get the invite? Noooooo. Guess I’ll just have to wait in the car since I’m not cool enough to be in the tech crowd. (hee hee I just used “cool” and “tech crowd” in the same sentence! I’m so funny!)

    Maybe I’ll sit one table over and blow straw papers at y’all.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..disaster

  5. I just want to be Bloggessed. My goal in life, more than Katie Couric. Well, I’ve met Katie and I think if I met you in person I would attempt not to have a hysteria-induced laughing fit like I did with her.

    Because I am a LOSER.

    Sunshine’s last blog post..Your Bedside Table – Whatcha Got For Me?

  6. That totally rocks.

    And I have one of your Alltop buttons on my site. Because we both kick ass.

    mothergoosemouse’s last blog post..Leave a message after the beep

  7. “All your blogs are belong to us” – that is simply too funny. I wish I could have gotten into that dinner – but I am still looking forward to the CHICKFIGHT! with Steph.

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Runoff

  8. That is going to be awesome! You are entertaining, strikingly gorgeous, witty and you know how to use a pocket knife.

    Jana’s last blog post..The Death of Me

  9. About those badges: “Who’s retarded now!?”
    Does that refer to the readers or the writers?

    Sayre’s last blog post..Tuesday in the Office with George

  10. I like the gay porn one, myself, but my imagination being what it is, I also want to see what badge you would design for gay porn-you know, in case my blog diversifies.

    re. #5, I think my laughing fit would be wholly organic.

    er, that had nothing to do with, umm, fertilizer. You are too damned funny.

    Menchuvian Candidate’s last blog post..Wherein I get political

  11. I am teh jealous!
    If by some random error I ever make it to Alltop, I will proudly display the “better than a knife to the eye” badge.

    Erica’s last blog post..Fighters and Flashers and Streakers! Oh My!

  12. So jealous. I don’t know how but I started following him on Twitter (probably your influence biatch) and he replied to something I wrote – me a usual oversharing about my arse – MPS asked me what I was smiling at. I told him this ‘Guy Kawasaki’ said this and MPS fell to the ground.

    Now he thinks I am cool. Cause the bastard didn’t freaking believe me before.

    So tell Guy that my husband worships him and I still have no clue why, but I pink puffy heart him. Can I send you a photo of me to get him to tongue kiss? Cause this biatch needs some work done ’round here and that would be just the incentive.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Bouncy castles and idiots at the Psychic festival.

  13. Yea for you!

    Except it seems that it is blog/IRL season on them thar internets, y’all. I think every last one of you has gotten to do something cool with other bloggers.

    I guess that’s what I get for being anonymous.

    My consolation prize is that I’ve been Bloggessed. I’ll take it.

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..Just one more thing to add to my crazy life

  14. I used one of your tags that weren’t edgy enough. I hope that’s okay.

    FYI, don’t talk about me during the whole dinner. Guy gets jealous. Also, buy him a Guinness for me (with your money).

    Whit’s last blog post..It’s Better than Picking My Nose

  15. Dude. Who’s Retarded Now?! is my new slogan.

  16. I’m excited for you – not jealous. In that situation, I’d more than likely drink too much and make rambling, inane comments. Oh. Wait. I do that whether I’ve been drinking or not.

    And yes, I love the ‘retarded’ one…

    Gretchen’s last blog post..Some things are best left to the experts

  17. Oh, the crass. Oh, Jenny. You are too too much! And, I’m so looking you up next time I’m in the H hood.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Why I’ll Never Win an Award for Parenting

  18. Okay, I’m telling you this as a friend. I’d be careful of that Kawasaki guy. That guy, Kawasaki, you know the one. I don’t trust him. He’s got too a waay too cool name.

  19. And apparently I waay can’t type too good right now.

  20. Until I looked at his link I realize that I’ve been confusing Guy Kawasaki with Guy SMILEY. You know…from Sesame Street? Here’s hoping your Guy doesn’t show up for dinner with a puppetmaster’s arm up his ass. Unless, of course, he’s asking for it.

    AB’s last blog post..Unthinkable

  21. whatever. this stalking Guy thing is just a front for your real stalking action.

    jen’s last blog post..her future includes either a nobel peace prize or ongoing psychotherapy

  22. Be sure to ask Guy about the ringing in his ears. If your blog can cure cancer, then maybe it can cure Meniere’s disease too. Gives new meaning to being Bloggessed. You’ve been healed! (said with, well, probably the accent you already have)

  23. Jenny,
    When is the book coming out? You are a ray of sunshine in a grammatically incorrect, incoherent, blathering blogging world. Write a book already huh?

    Guy Kawasaki? So jealous.

    Allison’s last blog post..radius toothbrush giveaway-a-day!

  24. Ho. Lee. Shit.

    Greta’s last blog post..Re-thinking Water and the KikiMockTini

  25. um so i’m gonna pretend to be all jealous because i’m afraid if i tell you i’ve never heard of guy motorcycle-brand, until you started talking about him, you won’t be my friend anymore.

    so, yeah. this is me. jealous.

    but i SO had a slumber party with bossy and i KNOW you know who she is :-)

    Biddy’s last blog post..letter to the IRS

  26. I’ve got bail money in the desk drawer.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Life imitating hell, and turning it all around

  27. A. WOW… first time i ever wish i was going on a date with a guy, i mean the GUY.

    B. I got semi-Kawasakied (check my last blog posting)… he wrote back to me

    C. We need a term for being emailed buy Guy…

    D. Please reply on my blog ! :D

    Atif Khan’s last blog post..Sell Yahoo, the big ‘Guy’ says so

  28. I Kawastalki him on Twitter but I am not cool enough to have an Alltop badge. Sigh.

    If I send you some handcuffs could you get a few “interesting” videos for me? Or do you think he might have you arrested?

    Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Missing Her

  29. What will you do if the Ninjas strike? All of that power concentrated in one room might be too tempting for them to resist, you know.

    Also, I’ve got an award for you (I feel like such a nerd! As if admitting to playing D&D, video games and watching sci-fi movies weren’t nerdy enough already….) on my blog, if you would be so kind as to drop by!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..To All The Blogs I’ve Loved Before…

  30. I totally don’t believe you’re not entertaining in real life. If my fellow teachers think I’m a laugh riot, surely you would put them in a hilarious coma.

    I really like the “Motherf*ers” one, but maybe that’s just because I have to shout that everyday in my car on the way home from school to clear my head…I have issues?

    stephanie’s last blog post..how many days till summer?

  31. Puh-leeze…I know for a fact you ARE entertaining in real life, so don’t even sell be that BS. :D
    Now, just remember the rules when you meet him:
    -no drooling (or at least put on the bib first)
    -no loud screaming of profanities (use the ‘indoor voice’)
    -take lots and lots of video/photos so we can all poke holes in your voodoo doll as we turn three shades of green [w/envy]

    Hope you have a blast. :)

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..It’s time for the letter of the day

  32. I’m so gonna use the “Who’s retarded now?” one if I get famous. For now I’ll have to settle for “Yes, I write a blog that about 5 people read and only 3 comment on which is kind of unfair because the elderly don’t know how to leave comments”.

    You’re awesome Jenny:)!

    Kylie’s last blog post..What do you mean “It’s Illegal”?

  33. Have you thought of making up a line of “Bloggess” badges? That “All your blogs are belong to us” would be a perfect fit.

    Of course, so would “It’s not gay porn.” Most of the time, anyway.

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Hell’s Kitchen: Something smells fishy

  34. Well, I may just go down to the strip in town where all the car dealers are and grab myself a guy that sells Kawasakis. I’ll have my own little tête à tête, cause I’m a dork like that.

    amanda’s last blog post..Suggestive Pose

  35. OK, how do I get in on this Alltop shizzle? I like buttons! I like blogging! I have a blog! Is it an Alltop blog?! No! ::pout::

    mrs. chicken’s last blog post..I Wish I’d Known That In Advance

  36. You really are too much! :-)

    Robinella’s last blog post..Oh forget it!

  37. Stop being witty and hysterical, people. You are making it very difficult to pick a “comment of the day”.

    Mrs. Chicken – I recommend emailing Guy and asking if he’d consider your blog. The guy can’t say no. He’s like me in high school.

    When people asked if I wanted cake.

  38. You are making me laugh my arse off this morning! First over at jen’s with all of the stalking comments and now this. Good, good stuff.

    janet’s last blog post..Oh, Baby

  39. You crack me up girl!! Have fun!!!

    Kelly’s last blog post..I’m Freaking Out Here

  40. I’m not sure I’m cool enough to be friends with you. Are you sure we should be hanging out? Don’t I need some sort of special pass or something? These are the things that keep me up at night.

    (psssst! write a book!)

    Fuzzball’s last blog post..Thoughtful Tuesday

  41. In my slow entrance into the world of blogging, I think I may have missed a lesson or two: who’s Guy Kawasaki and what does he do?

    Captain Steve’s last blog post..Pity Party, Table for One

  42. Fuck. EdT took my idea. You totally need to make some Bloggess badges, because I am such a loser that I have never gotten an award on my blog EVER and this would probably be the only one I have a chance to get. Ever.

    I am pathetic and you must take pity on me.

    Also, email me your home address please. (let’s see how many other people say that now! Stalkers galore!)

    markira’s last blog post..Big Word of the Day

  43. Just dropped in after a tweed of Guy that I happily happened to notice.

    For those of you interested I have a pic of him here: http://www.happyhotelier.com/2008/04/04/happy-hotelier-syndicated-at-travelalltop/

    Happy Hotelier’s last blog post..I’ve Collected some Twittering Travel Bloggers at Netvibes

  44. Jenny,

    To infinity, and beyond!

    love
    Buzz Lightyear

  45. I think you should prep for dinner by making a list of 20 potential items of conversation. Of course, I think we should all be part of the process by which these items are chosen, which means you should come up with about a gazillion and then let us choose how you spend your dinnertime conversation.

    Totally.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Apple Pie FM

  46. The “confirmation that i kick ass” badge was my favorite. I couldn’t imagine using any of those other badges he showed us.

    However, if he’d featured your other ones, I might have had a hard choice to make!

    Funny post!

    Matthew @ Childsplayx2’s last blog post..Take two sourpatch kids and call me in the morning

  47. i think jen is right. this big, splashy kawastalki bidness sounds like bullshit. thankfully, i get to find out the real truthiest truth on sat. bring the gin.

  48. I really, really hope you post a 60-second video of Guy awkwardly clearing his throat before you give us the actual run-down in your own hilarious words.

    Tiny Mantras’s last blog post..A walk before the warmth

  49. Guy sent me. You seriously deserve stalkers of your own (and I mean that in the best way)

    ben’s last blog post..Sprung

  50. My site just got listed on Alltop, and I love your badges. Unfortuneately, my site is a group blogging social network, so the “I kick ass” part didn’t work.

    Now, if it said “We kick ass” I’d grab it in a heartbeat…………:)

    LisaN’s last blog post..Jessica commented on the blog post For summer, do you want a Firm or Flabby Bottom?

  51. I think you could poop and describe it and people would build a pedestal for you, made entirely from the excrement you’d described, an “excrestal,” if you will, and then they’d turn it into an awards ceremony in your honor, and there would be poop-shaped cake.

    (they wouldn’t need to make poop-shaped ice cream. because, well, chocolate ice cream already exists. need I add, duh?)

    p.s. I would probably handcraft a poop-gown to wear to the event (of the season), and then I’d get a last-minute rejection letter because one of your PR peons will have not recognized my having participated in constructing the original “excrestal” and it will be this giant PR nightmare. and then I’ll fill lots of paper bags with poop and light them on fire and people won’t be able to go through the main entrance to the event, because of all that flaming poop. and then the whole debacle will be on CNN for hours, with running commentary about the attendees being splattered by bits of burning excrement. and it will be dubbed the all-poop-all-the-time news channel, and you will be internationally famous.

    I’m good at predictions (and by “good” I mean “crazy-good”) so watch out.

    Anyway, you know it’ll be a dream come true.

    If you want, I’ll help design your excrestal-ascending poop-gown. I have some fantastic ideas. Just you wait and see if I don’t. (I *know*.)

  52. all your blogs are belong to us.

    best. one. ever.

    ali’s last blog post..fish don’t fry in the kitchen; beans don’t burn on the grill

  53. You’ll be fine. I think Guy has a crush on you anyway.

  54. 56
    The Original Lisa

    THAT is your exciting news!?! You’re going to dinner?!?! I was expecting something about a sex change or Victor has added a opposum to his tattoo. Here’s a *newsflash* for you. I made my own dinner. It was meatloaf, and it was damn tasty. No one died who ate it, so that’s a bonus.

  55. Don’t worry about not being the life o’ the party, you’ll be hilarious. Just don’t try to be hilarious, because then he’ll probably give you one of those “looks” that says, “JEEEZUS, I’m being kawastalkied by a kawa-loser!” Not good.

    Also, wear something lowcut.

    It can’t hurt.

    Unless flamethrowers regularly pop out of your boobies… then, wear a turtleneck.

    Sensitiva McFeelingsly’s last blog post..Death by Embarrassment

  56. Edgy is the new black.

    And seriously, who doesn’t stalk Guy. Way more accessible than say Brad. Plus, he doesn’t read my blog.

    LOSER.

    Motherhood Uncensored’s last blog post..It Certainly Doesn’t Get Easier. Just Crazier.

  57. Jenny, you rock! :)

    My first functioning(*) personal computer was an Apple //e. Years later, I was among the first Java developers. On both accounts, Guy Kawasaki is one of my personal heroes, and I’ve had the pleasure of hearing him speak at JavaOne.

    I don’t think you’ll hear any nervous throat-clearing from him, but you never know. He might get a catch in his throat just knowing that you’re there. :D

    DH

    (*) I actually had the parts to build a Z80-based system that would have used toggle switches to program it. But then the //e came out and I thought, “Ok, I’m a geek, but even I have to admit that would be way easier and just as cool. Maybe even cooler.:)

    DH (Dear Husband of Avonlea)’s last blog post..I wonder what he’s thinking

  58. oooooo! You’re going to have so much fun with Guy and I’m so jealous!

    I kawastalki Guy on Twitter and when he followed me back I fell out of my chair. Though I suspect he followed back out of politeness and manners (because Guy’s awesome like that) rather than an actual interest in anything I have to say. I’ve considered replying to his tweets many times but am way too intimidated to actually do it. I mean what if he replied back and we had a conversation and I somehow ended up kawasakied? I would have no idea how to react. I’d just stand there saying Um staring blurry eyed into oblivion.

    btw – You need to get on Twitter because I definitely need more Jenny! I’m addicted but it’s not a problem, I swear.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: PMS

  59. I don’t know GK (yet) but I recently saw an article in Wired where they quoted him saying something technologically relevant/irreverent (delete as appropriate). Can you ask him a question for me? When will cheese become technically beneficial to the average blogger?
    Ta muchly.

  60. Because I’m not on the site, I find it impossible to be a fan. Hmph.

    Maria’s last blog post..Untitled.

  61. [...] I read on that list and yet I am not. I don’t think I would normally care, except that The Bloggess made some totally kick-ass buttons for the recognition. My favorite? “ALLTOP: It’s not [...]

  62. I love it, ‘nother Guy Kawasaki Bloggess infused “verb.”

    NEENZ’s last blog post..Memories of Merrie Monarch Festival

  63. I’d try to come up with something witty, but I think Debbie already left the best comment ever.

    PS: Tell the dude I want some Alltop action, just for the awesome buttons, though. ;)

    Kyla’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Home Run!

  64. ROFL at “jail lice”:-)

    “all your blogs are belong to us” is freaking hilarious!

    Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Crime Scene Cover Up

  65. a) If you do what lildb said, I’ll strip you naked, hide your clothes, roll you in honey and drag you through gravel.

    b) I’ll tell you like I told Guy…sounds to me like “somebody” wants to get in “somebody’s” britches.

    c) Bet he thought the first “somebody” was him.

    d) Something I’ll neither confirm nor deny.

    e) By “not that entertaining” you just mean you draw the line at “going into the special room after a lap dance”, right?

    f) I have no idea what I just said.

    g) I promise I’m not going through the whole alphabet, just one more letter and I’m done.

    h) Forget “Kawastalki”…I’m a Bloggesstalki and ALL that implies ;)…!

    PENSIEVE’s last blog post..Flittin’ & Buzzin’ (Why girls are butterflies and boys are bees)

  66. That’s so cool!

    (Should I admit that I didn’t know who Guy Kawasaki was before you first mentioned him? Yeah, I know, I’m such a babe in the tech-woods.)

    avonlea’s last blog post..I wonder what he’s thinking

  67. [...] because I like to give credit where credit is due, The Blogess created this awesome button. Jenny, if you lived next door to me, I would totally stalk [...]

  68. Guy just twittered me.

    Which sounds mildly pornographic.

    Do you think that’s what they had in mind when they came up with the name?

    (He must’ve liked my alpha-numeric comment…or wanted to keep an eye on me in case I was one of those…you know…scary kawastalkers.)

    Since y’all are all up in each other’s business now, make sure he knows I’m just a powderpuff, a kitten, totally harmless, k?

    PENSIEVE’s last blog post..Flittin’ & Buzzin’ (Why girls are butterflies and boys are bees)

  69. this is all a very clever rouse, Jenny.

    jen’s last blog post..The Bloggess is totally stalking me

  70. SIGH. Nothing cool like that every happens to me. I suck at networking I guess.

  71. Uh, that would be “ever” happens to me.

  72. OH yeah?

    Well…

    Uh…

    I LOOK JUST LIKE MISS PIGGY! So – there!

    Wait. Shit.

    Miss Britt’s last blog post..Confessions of a Has-Been Blogger

  73. So…what I want to know is what happens to your hubby while you’re gone? lol

    Ashley’s last blog post..Your life can resume in approximately 2 weeks. Thank you for waiting.

  74. Hi Bloggess, I met Guy at one of the Net Sol events and left unscathed … no worries! Then again, I’ve been known to evangalize apple pasties! Fun stuff … loved the buttons.

    vicequeenmaria’s last blog post..Traveling Light

  75. I suspect you are very witty in real life… and easy to talk with. I’d hang out with you any day!

    Beth from The Funny Farm’s last blog post..I’m proud to call her.. FRIEND.

  76. Holy crap!

    This has to be about the most awesome post ever. I say you use the badges anyway.

    Jessica’s last blog post..Tamera and Scott

  77. If you can’t think of anything to say, don’t talk. You can say that you are czech, don’t know English and use Babelfish to translate your posts.

    You are very much sitting at the cool kids lunch table now. ;)

    simplypink’s last blog post..skankalicious on aisle 9

  78. When are going to get on twitter so we can all bloggesstalki you there?

    catnip’s last blog post..little dude’s poor feet

  79. Okay that was weird. I just checked my twitter and whymommy introduced you to the twitterati 15 minutes ago…

    catnip’s last blog post..little dude’s poor feet

  80. I think making fun of retards is a lot more insensitive than making light of women with one breast or mens who ride bikes for a living.

  81. sorry…I should read proof-read before hitting ‘Submit’. A thousand pardons.

  82. It’s okay, Justy. I always look out for the retarded.

  83. You are the greatest stalker that ever was! I’m totally stalking you at blogher.

    KC’s last blog post..Version 3.0 XY

  84. Whoot! Whoot!

    That’s me, cheering in the corner even though I have no idea what you’re talking about!

    Carrie’s last blog post..Instilling Fear in the Hearts of Daddys-to-be Everywhere

  85. Thanks for the laugh. I’ve been up to my eyeballs in boring stuff and your post is now the highlight of my day. I have no idea in Hades who the cute Mr. K is but I’ll click on the linkies and figure it out.

  86. I LIKE the cancer one. A lot. For what its worth. Some people have no sense of humor. Or some people have a really horrifically insensitive sense of humor, and the other people with horrifically insensitive senses of humor laugh with them and the other 98% of the world complains about them. Us. About us.

    Kat’s last blog post..My Pretty House

  87. How do you keep getting fucking funnier every time I read you? I think I’m going to give up writing. Or just start a blog that says, “Fuck it. Just go read Jenny.”.

    But seriously, you are in your groove!

    Lotta’s last blog post..Smell The Lemons!

  88. Do you really need one more person telling you how funny you are? I didn’t think so. But you NEED to know that I am quite partial to “All your blogs are belong to us” and pretty much anyone who gets that reference. Well, except for those pasty, pimply gamer types…

    Izzy’s last blog post..The Age of Unreason

  89. So jealous! Tell him the story about your dream about being attacked by the serial killer and being woken up by the cat jumping on your face.

    Lady M’s last blog post..Very Literate People Work Here

  90. So jealous! First of all, just being near a conversation that includes him would make me smarter, but you being there too would make me explode with witty puns and crazy photoshopped images. I crave smart people.

    Second, I have the totally normal badge on my site (I know, boring, but my grandma reads), and I had no idea you’re the one that invented the new snarky badges! Guy either wants to keep your talent to himself, or is taking all the credit. Maybe both. I like being in AllTop (Life category), and will continue to feel cool as long as I continue to be above Pioneer Woman.

    Third, if I had my druthers I would so put the gay porn one on my site.

    Fourth, the cancer one is really funny to me, but in all seriousness it was bad timing b/c a blogger on Twitter had just had a big regression with cancer.

    Fifth, make me a badge that says “I’m better than Pioneer Woman” and I’ll owe you forever.

    P.S. Come play on Twitter

    To Think Is To Create’s last blog post..Education Day: Chicago Moms Blog

  91. Annnnd I’m officially lame (there was question?).

    I just saw on the Alltop blog that Guy *did* give you credit. I guess he really can be nice while plotting to take over the blogoshere all at the same time.

    To Think Is To Create’s last blog post..Education Day: Chicago Moms Blog

  92. You’re not lame. You’re better than Pioneer Woman. (Check your email.)

    PS. After much prodding I finally started twittering. Tweeting? I don’t know the prefered nomenclature.

    http://twitter.com/TheBloggess

    I have no idea what I’m doing.

  93. do you offer stalking lessons? I really need to brush up on my skills. No where hear your Kawastalki level yet but its my new goal!

    imelda’s last blog post..links for 2008-04-10

  94. Ok i realize i am f*%#ing comment #96 or something pathetic like that. But i just had to get my most recent blog post title on YOUR blog biotch.

    Kisses!

    Peace, Love & Light~

    Ture Light Tracey’s last blog post..thinkarete.com

  95. shit in all my gloating i am a moron and forgot to press publish. Can you say big dork?!

    Now look!

    Peace, Love & Light~

    Ture Light Tracey’s last blog post..thinkarete.com

  96. Ok now i am just pissed.

    Please read “The Bloggess is NO match for True Light Tracey”

    http://www.truelighttracey.com/?p=9

    Thanks really thank you!

    Ture Light Tracey’s last blog post..thinkarete.com

  97. Tracey, you are cracking me up. With the comments even moreso than the post.

    CommentLuv hates me too on other people’s blogs. It’s kind of a bitch.

  98. You’re following Ryan on twitter now? Crap. As if his ego wasn’t big enough. Now all I’m going to hear is how you like him better than me. Are you breaking up with me?

    The Introvert’s last blog post..arrogance

  99. KAWASKI-I thought you were talking about motorcycles…

    shuttle mom’s last blog post..Spring Cleaning Time

  100. I say we skip the nerd con, down a few at the Ice House and drop him off at Treasures. Surely he’ll find a ride home. Eventually.

  101. 103
    Jerseygirl89

    Can I please have the Alltop: It’s not gay porn badge? Pretty please? And then while you’re at dinner – which I’m not the least bit jealous about, BTW – you can convince Guy to put me on Alltop because I chose the coolest badge.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..You Know That Really Needy Friend? Always Demanding Support and Advice?

  102. I love your kick-ass badge! Who would pick anything different?

    Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..Delights abound around every corner

  103. You’ve really arrived, J-La, because you’ve gotten invitation to sup with G-Ka and I have not. I am hurt, horrified, saddened and made to feel insignificant. Instead of trading witty barbs with you, E-O’G and L-Ma, I’ll be sitting at home, enjoying gruel with my mewling brood.

    Life’s just not worth living, knowhutImean?

  104. How ’bout I come to dinner, too. Like, so *I* can do the videotaping and you two can chat — or nervously clear your throats.

    By the way, that last badge is my fave…!

    (And, I used to think he loved you more than you love him — but now I think the obsession is totally mutual.) ;)

    Haley-O’s last blog post..Me, ?Mommy Blogger?; or, 13 Celebrity STROLLERS

  105. Wowzers. I’ve shared one-on-one e-mails with Guy, but supper? I am very, very green with envy.

    You’re badge, by the way, is spot on rockin’.

    schmutzie’s last blog post..Get Into Five Star Friday

  106. You are too cool for school girl! How fun! You finally get to meet the man in person. I love how he posted your new and improved badges on his site and called you one of the funniest people he’s met in years. And the nice comment about Houston. He doesn’t know how crazy we can be!

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Mariachis and Tequila

  107. i’ll definitely be needing the “who’s retarded now?” badge. jail lice, how do you come up with this? so random, so great.

    p.s. my dad had cancer and i STILL think your “bookmark it or you’ll get cancer” is quite hilarious for the LOVE OF GOD.

    jesus was gay you know.

    piglet’s last blog post..i’m not home

  108. [...] back at me. He told me I better put up some Alltop.com badges!! While I cannot hold a candle to the badges created by the Bloggess, I was nevertheless [...]

  109. A new sign of the Apocalypse:

    The Bloggess has joined Twitter. And already has 409 followers.

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Black & White & Infrared all over

  110. I still don’t know who that is. Thank god I work at a cancer hospital…

    Chase’s last blog post..It’s Been A Whole Month, Huh?

  111. i really liked the new ones.

    sense of humor went out with the democrat era.

    gwendomama’s last blog post..Teensy Bit O Wallowing

  112. I’m really tired. Can I just stalk you? I’ll be happy enough with just stalking Guy Kawasaki by proxy. If you don’t mind.

    BusyDad’s last blog post..The Return of Iron Chef Fury: Kitchen Stadium Showdown

  113. First time visiting… I’ll be back.

    Oh, and I am so stealing your button.

    Gunfighter’s last blog post..Lots Happening Today

  114. One of the most entertaining blogs I have discovered in quite some time. I might just subscribe :)

    Jonathan’s last blog post..Bionic Children

  115. I’ll take the last one. Thanks!

    The Wild Kid’s last blog post..Sony Ericsson S500i now available in a new color: Steel Silver

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