Oh wait…no. This one:
PS. This post will not make sense to you at all unless you start here first and follow the breadcrumbs. And even then it probably won’t make much sense. Unless you’ve been reading me for over a year and then you’ll be all “Oh, I remember this. Jenny drinking in the men’s bathroom and acting inappropriately in front of famous people. Didn’t that end badly?”. And yes. Yes, it did. More tomorrow.
PS. I apologize to my amazing blogger co-hosts for posting a completely inappropriate Prince badge in front of the one that was assigned to me but it’s much better than the one I was going to use, which is this picture of the most bad-ass tattoo in the history of the world:
Honestly, that’s pretty much the best tattoo ever. Especially when you’re sitting naked on the exam table and the doctor is all “We think you have colon cancer but I need to really get up in there to check”. And your legs are all “IT’S TIME TO PARTY” and you’re all “Shut up, legs!” Awesome. You know what else is awesome? When you’re supposed to write a two sentence teaser about a party and you end up blogging about colon cancer. It’s like a gift.
Comment of the day: ”Game: Blouses.” ~ WineWonkette
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I’m thinking of having that tattooed on my ass cheeks!
My ass says: “If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now.”
i think it’s only his shins that think it’s time to party, his ankles are mormons
Just wanna let you know, I’m totally coming. Because I’m a person dammit. Well. Sorta.
Miss Grace’s last blog post..Too tired to come up with a clever title
Dude, if you don’t offer me a sip of your flask at BlogHer I’m never going again. Or anywhere for that matter. I will hole up in my apartment with my pug and drink myself to death. Only finding nourishment from Girl Scout Cookies.
DO YOU WANT THAT ON YOUR HEAD?
Sarah’s last blog post..Buzzing the Blog Giveway Winner
The hip flask will be full. And possibly warm. Bring ice.
Sounds like a party worth attending; who can resist a hairy invitation.
I was thinking of having “GET” tatted down one labia, and “OUT” tatted down the other labia.
Perfect for after a big argument with the Hubster! No sex for you!!
Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Rainbow Hair Down There
A gift indeed. I aspire to your talent.
Brandy’s last blog post..Fabled Creatures from Beyond the Grave!
I forgot what I was going to say because Akilah’s comment scared me. Okay, okay, I’m out.
WOLVERINES, maybe?
Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..It’s just not a celebration unless there are orgasms and dessert
I can do better. I’ll bring my wine-bra. You’re in charge of hard alcohol.
Sarah’s last blog post..Buzzing the Blog Giveway Winner
So if I get a tattoo like that, can I get away with just shaving my shins?
Tug’s last blog post..Mornin’!
Oh man I’m excited about this.
Maria’s last blog post..a picture, for you
Is that what happens when you run Princes picture through that aging software the FBI uses?
Amy’s last blog post..What drugs is the guy at the A & P on?
I saw the picture of the legs before reading, and I was all,
“Woah, If Jenny’s legs are that hairy, I would hate to see her jungle muff.”
Andria and Co.’s last blog post..Daylight Savings Time Proposal
I only come for the pictures.
Jane’s last blog post..Is Pathetic the New Black?
I’m going to start elbowing people out of my way to be sure I’m the first one there. Also, Your graphics? Awesome.
Joie at Canned Laughter’s last blog post..Have I Mentioned I Hate Facebook?
I’ll bring the edamame.
if i come (and i’m coming!) will you share your confidence wig with me? because i’m lacking hair this year. except in the place where most of the internet wishes i was specifically lacking hair. i’ve plenty of hair, there. much to the dismay of the majority of my readers…or so they like to tell me!
i’ll meet you in the bathroom. and i’m serious. i want to borrow the wig. my head needs coverage…even if the rest of me does not!
nakedjen’s last blog post..All Those Obama Dollars
I need a tattoo that says that because I totally am.
Kurt’s last blog post..Memes The Word: Part II
Where do we RSVP?
mandy’s last blog post..We Interrupt Your Regular Programing…
RSVP page should be up sometime soon. More conscientious people are in charge of that. Really, I’m just in charge of entertaining people in the bathroom.
The only tattoo I’d ever consider would be one on my butt that says, in fancy handwriting: Xavier Roberts.
–V’s last blog post..Jumping the gun a wee bit
A party with you would be worth it just to see who would show up and what went down…even if it’s in a random alley. With hobos. In dirt boxes. Because you are made of awesome. Therefore, they would be awesome hobos…I wonder what superpowers a hobo-hero might have? Hmm…
Theo’s last blog post..…and so the nights fade to morning.
EXcellent! Looking forward to buying you a drink in the bathroom again. I only needed one kidney, right? (so that I could afford to go to Blogher)
T.
T@SendChocolate’s last blog post..Zombie Brains Spock, Spock Deactivates Machine …WHAT?!
I’m dizzy from the teaser trail… maybe it would have helped if I had a mojito in hand during my travels.
Aren’t the best parties in the washroom?
Chicago here I come…
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Answer Period Part 1
I was at the People’s Party last year (Weren’t we in the bathroom together?)
I’m all booked for Chicago, baby. See you there.
Angella’s last blog post..Mad At Dad?
I can’t freaking wait! This year I’ll be there.
catnip’s last blog post..checking in
Pancakes! Wolverines!
I gotta buy a plane ticket.
magpie’s last blog post..Working Class Hero
Um, yes, please. I’m bringing my wine skin(s)!
imaginary binky’s last blog post..And upon further reflection…
the trail was confusing, but I’m pretty sure I’m excited. You’re like my mythical hobbit!
tena’s last blog post..A Rambling- that I’m not sure makes any sense, doesn’t have much direction, but I meant well
This is awesome! (and totally why I love you Jenny) And now I am sure you are all paranoid about me coming to the party because here I am professing my love to you in a post in which you were supposed to write a teaser for a party but ended up talking about colon cancer.
Domestic extraordinaire’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
I like how the comment I made previously makes no fucking sense. That tells everyone that I am in tune with the younger generation here on the internet and also that I’m probably drunk.
Kurt’s last blog post..Memes The Word: Part II
that would have been the most awesome tattoo, but there’s no apostrophe. where’s the apostrophe in “its”? that would annoy me if i was the surgeon going in for a look at the colon.
heh. colon. apostrophe.
ms. changes pants while driving’s last blog post..no result
Jenny, you are a gift.
mmm… nothing says love like sharing a warm flask in the public restroom.. I can’t wait!
and sorry about my blog not recognizing you.. it just takes a while to warm up to people..
Yay, BlogHer!!
churchpunkmom’s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: I am a Russian Spy Named Sylvia.
The People’s Party? Doesn’t that make them Communists?
I’m Jo. And I’m awesome.’s last blog post..so it’s been a while..
Totally communists. (Our faux 2008 badge.)
Damn it, you bitches are ruining my life by having BlogHer on the same weekend I am FLEEING THE COUNTRY for a year.
(It has a more logical explanation than Organized Crime, but I prefer to remain mysterious and not explain that I’m going to be an au pair abroad.)
“You bitches” = Blogher. ALL OF YOU.
Just watched that video from last year again. Totally awesome!
Mr Farty’s last blog post..Vapourware
Game: Blouses
WineWonkette’s last blog post..What to do with leftover wine?
*is totally confused, and enjoying every minute of it*
C.B.Jones’s last blog post..Some people cut themselves, others level up.
Man. I’m really starting to feel bad that I don’t have a blog or an awesome tattoo or pancakes.
I ran thebloggess through this, just thought you might wanna know this before your next event.
http://www.typealyzer.com/index.php?lang=en
ESFJ – The Socializers
The social and opinionated type. They are especially attuned to the feelings of themselves and others. They tend to be very aware of the values of their peer-group and tend to see things as either right or wrong, good or bad. They tend to be traditional and value their friends and family the most.
The Socializers are down-to-earth, practical people and very keen on making sure everyone is alright. This quality makes them enjoy social work places. Since they enjoy being and keeping things neat and tidy, they often also enjoy working in such environments.
oooh. Are newborns allowed? Cause if I’m in Chicago I’ll be carting one with me. To the party. Wheee horrible motherhood begins!
zchamu’s last blog post..Can you say you’re sorry?
Newborns are totally allowed and you will not be the only person in a sling there. Don’t eat any of the cookies though if you’re breast-feeding. Pot cookies are big with this crowd.
Sooooo you don’t want me to make the cookies this year?
katie ~ motherbumper’s last blog post..call of the bliss
I wish I could go too. I’ll have to live it though you.
Enchanted’s last blog post..New Hair!
RE: Akilah, I’ve been thinking about a tattoo of bubbles coming from my ass crack…heh.
Somehow, knowing nothing about any of this post I didn’t find it confusing. And I think working colorectal exams into anything is funny, except bedtime.
Marla’s last blog post..Fangs and Other Mutations
Um, whatever party you’re going to be at – can I come?
Ashley’s last blog post..The New Sanders’ Puppy
yay! i’m so excited! this party was awesome last year and i can’t wait to go hump famous bloggers’ legs. or just shake hands, but that seems so… mundane.
Lara’s last blog post..You Heard Nothing
Whoa! Jenny is going to entertain me in the bathroom?!?!
Talk about a dream come true!!!!
I’ll be there again, camera at-the-ready.
It’s still going to be in the pisser, right? I have this sort of Martha Stewart-vision of champagne bottles chilling in the urinals, disco ball above the crapper, and HBM serving up lacto-shooters.
califmom’s last blog post..Comments are Curative: The Village Voice
Five more of the many situations ill-suited to having this tattoo:
1) Doing the Walk of Shame through a frat house.
2) Giving birth.
3) Walking slowly towards the door of the workplace from which you’ve just been fired.
4) Approaching the priest to receive the Eucharist.
5) Requesting a substantial loan from the bank.
LiteralDan’s last blog post..A conversation with M-: The wipe that shakes the barley
Hooray! I will come find you in the bathroom.
Lady M’s last blog post..Ready, Set, Rocket
If he’s checking for colon cancer, wouldn’t the tattoo be facing down? Seems like a butt in the air moment to me anyway. One of many…. Sorry, TMI.
And yet… no MDcQ III *snif*
~EdT.
Ed T.’s last blog post..Feeling blue on Wordless Wednesday
The colon cancer thing is bad, but my first thought was prostate cancer or a vasectomy. Wow.. I need help.
If I go, am I allowed to hang out in the women’s bathroom with you?
P.S. I’m totally getting “Property of The Bloggess” tattood on my ass.
from what I’ve heard (and it isn’t much since I’m a blogher outcast) you were the BEST AND ONLY attraction at the whole fucking event.
what I wanna know is what are you going to do top it? because that’s how it works ya know. the bar is set. that’s why i’ve spent my entire life aiming low.
oh and hey! wouldn’t it be cool if you could get that guy in the purple jacket to go as your escort … (no charge for greasing the old “how do I top myself” skids) …
Kimberlee’s last blog post..into africa.
Will make sure when I book my flight that I come early enough to hang out in the bathroom with you. Cool.
Emma’s last blog post..Of the weekend
Oh my god, 1999 was TEN YEARS AGO? How did that happen!?
See you at the People’s Party!
I was so excited, because I thougt there might be pancakes somewhere in my office, cause Prince was all, “you want some pancakes Biatch?!” And I was like, “HELLS to the YEAH!” But then I find out it’s some drunken craziness where you wear wigs and the party follows you to the bathroom (the actual party, not the dude with the leg tatts). Well, fine. I can’t come. I’m all poor and stuff. Unless you’re serving pancakes… let me know. I might tap that.
pancakes and colon cancer….you’re kinda like Jesus, you’ve got the bad shit but then you always make up for it in the end – the pancakes are kinda like easter…you know he was crucified (or colonoscopied) but then there’s a big fluffy bunny 3 days later handing out cadbury creme eggs (I’m sure that’s a historical fact)
Hannah’s last blog post..Hamilton is pretty hot
I think it’s amazing that you have enough confidence not to shave your tattooed legs. Good for you, Trailblazer!
Can’t wait! This will be my first time! I’m a virgin!!! Come to think of it…it’s been well over 10 years since I could *really* say that!
Cheers!
Summer’s last blog post..Dream Fasting
*gasp* swoooon…
A party in the bathroom with the bloggess??
Is it wrong to have a girl crush on a blogger?
Amber Mc’s last blog post..Ch-ch-check out the Check Up.
You consider your colon to be like a gift? Man, Christmas must have really sucked in your neighborhood as a kid.
I’m fairly certain that when that tattoo was done, that guy just started to sober up from his own party time. Oh, how I love bad drunken decisions! Really, it will be a good tell tale story for his grandkids of why you don’t drink and tattoo at the same time.
Maddie’s last blog post..It’s hump day. I believe I’m due for a good rant.
BLEGH MAN LEGS
Bathroom party at BlogHer? Now THAT’s worth the $1k I’m spending to go!!
Oh God, I remember the last one…fondly.
ByJane’s last blog post..Late Night Fantasies…
Some dude came to my college when I was a freshman, and gave some speech about this guy who got really drunk and agreed to have a penis tattooed on his forehead. He said the message of the story was that you shouldn’t drink to the point of bad decision-making, but I think the real message was more so that you should stay drunk so that you never realize you have a peenie on your face.
carolinemichelle’s last blog post..This is why I’m fat, this is why I’m fat, this is why, this is why, this is why I’m fat…
I am a people, does this mean I can come? I am traveling to BlogHer this year sans progeny. I am muy, muy excited.
I do not own a confidence wig, but I do have a confidence liver. Is that enough for drinking heavily?
cagey’s last blog post..Am I the only one superstitious about opening umbrellas indoor?
The People’s Party! w00t!!!
See you there
Just the missing apostrophe on “IT’S” is enough to make anyone smack him on the head with the keg tap and jam the bong up his ass.
Is that guy a wedding planner?—-’cause this would explain a lot. . .
You had me at the Dave Chapelle as Prince photo.
“Shoot the J! SHOOT IT!”
Ah, Charlie Murphy.
So do we need to RSVP for this shindig? Because I’m SO IN!
Kristabella’s last blog post..Still Tired. And Confused. Now, with Whine!
Ya’ll bitches are playing tight with the info. You ARE all those names you got called in high school, teases! No matter, I’ll be there and I WILL punch you in the liver if you don’t hang out with me. There, I just laid it out like that. LIVER.
Anissa@Hope4Peyton’s last blog post..The epitome of the mommyblogger
YAY! I’ll see you there!
Kyla’s last blog post..The Speech, Remix Edition
I’ll be there and ready to roll! And looking forward to meeting you, even if in the bathroom
I’ll bring the Xanax and stare at you from across the room
Astacia’s last blog post..Mamapedia Contest