This post here? It’s either brilliant and you are totally going to thank me next time you’re grasping for the right word, or it makes no sense at all. I’m too drunk to tell. Or to use apostrophes correctly. I’ll probably delete this in the morning so if you need to confess a murder or something but think you might want it erased later this is probably the post to do it on.
You know what word I really like? Coliary. I don’t even know what it means. Coliary. I just like to say it. It sounds like cauliflower, but then cauliflower went to college and became coliary. And gay. You always come back from college gay. Or at least bi. Those are the rules of college. I think “coliary” is going to be my new word for words that I know exist and I want to use them because they fit perfectly for the situation but I can’t think of them at the time and then I end up calling former coworkers saying “What’s the word for that feeling you get when you can’t find a big enough bomb to destroy your enemies so you invite them all to a party and drug them and cut off their pinkies so that you can identify them from their wonky handshakes if you meet them later when it’s dark or if you’re too drunk to recognize that you don’t actually like them? ” and they’re all “I’m at work” and I’m all “Yeah, I AM TOO. It’s the demanding work of word-crafting and I need your fucking help” and they’re all “I’m pretty sure that word doesn’t even exist” and I’m all “No, it totally does. I think it starts with a D” and then they get all pissy and so you hang up on them and vow to never even acknowledge them in your book, but you can’t even write your damn book because you’re stuck on the D-word that may or may not exist. Except now? Problem fixed, because I’ll just use the word “coliary” as a filler and go back and fix it later when I remember the word I wanted to use. It’s like my own personal placeholder. My kick-ass placeholder concept is rife with rich coliary. That last “coliary” was used a placeholder, but it might also be used correctly. I guess it depends on what coliary really means. I could look it up but spellcheck keeps telling me it’s not a real word so I’m guessing this ends badly. Coliary coliary coliary. That was an entire sentence of placeholders to remind me to write something witty there that explains what the fuck this whole thing means after I figure it out. Fuck. I feel so…coliary. I don’t even know if there is a word for that. That feeling you get when you don’t know what words mean so you make up one and you call it “coliary”? Or maybe that’s just the opposite of what I mean. That should mean “coliary” too. I bet this is how people who made up words like “bacon” and “perpendicular” felt. They felt totally coliary, by the way.
Updated: Okay, I just looked up the word “coliary” and google was all “That word doesn’t exist. Did you mean colliery?” And no, google, I fucking didn’t. Because a colliery is apparently “a coal mining facility and associated equipment”. I would never use that word, google. Apparently the word “coliary” doesn’t even exist until now. Which is totally fine, google, because that means it’s free game. I claim “coliary”. It’s mine now. And yours. Because I’m sharing it with the world. You’re welcome, world. You all owe me a drink.
Updated X 2: Okay, Victor just came in and yelled at me for still being on the computer at 9:00 at night and I’m all “OKAY, dude. Don’t have a damn coliary” and he’s like “Do you mean ‘coronary‘?” and yeah, I totally did mean that but I couldn’t think of the word right then but then Victor guessed it and I think this just proved that this whole concept works even better than I’d originally hoped for. I am a fucking genius. Or Victor has become psychic. Unlikely.
Updated X 3: I’m getting yelled at again for still being on the computer even though I just said I was getting off 15 minutes ago. I bet Einstein never had to deal with this shit.
Updated X 4: The Urban Dictionary refuses to publish the definition of Coliary, which is, by definition, undefinable. So technically I think by refusing to define it they’re actually affirming the use of the word. I think this means we win.
Updated X5: The Urban Dictionary has published the definition of Coliary. It’s like they’re totally fucking with us. Also, since I’ve updated this post 5 times I think this counts as 5 posts, right? I say yes. My God, I’m prolific this week.
Comment of the day: Einstein did NOT have to deal with this shit. He was desperately ill with an acute case of coliary.
OMG you’re right. It works EVERYWHERE. ~ moooooog35
That happened to me with the word “effluent.” Turns out it means “sewage.”
You’re fucking brilliant. And coliary.
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Funniest email I have ever received! =-.
How incredibly coliary of you. I can’t believe I’m re-reading this comment before posting it to make sure I spelled fucking “coliary” right.
.-= dubiousMa´s last blog ..You Know What Kid? Optimus This. =-.
I’ll buy you a Coliary & Coliary the next time I’m in Texas.
.-= Joe Janhonen´s last blog ..Dirty Jobs Not So Clean Commercials =-.
Um. I’ll buy you one – five more of whatever you’re already having 🙂
I hope you aren’t too hungover in the morning! It is such a great word that you should feel coliary in the morning instead. If the people at Google are so damn smart why couldn’t they build an algorithm to predict that you would be inventing a new word. I am disappointed in the people from Mountain View but impressed with you!
.-= Chas Underwood III´s last blog ..#58 – White Pants =-.
Make up a meaning and I SWEAR I’ll start using it in my books. Unless the meaning is that my books suck, in which case I won’t use it in them. But in my office? Different story.
.-= Beth Harbison´s last blog ..Define "affair" please…. =-.
That was the most coliary post I’ve ever read. I do like the way that rolls off the tongue.
My favorite word? Shrapnel. So many consonants, and there isn’t a T in it like there should be. It should sound like I’m hacking a loogie, but instead it’s beautiful.
Some words are just coliary like that.
.-= Alanna Coca´s last blog ..Lickable Laborors =-.
Cheers, Jenny – and a round on the house.
.-= Robbo´s last blog ..The Kisses, The Kisses =-.
After reading this post I came down with a mean case of the Coliary. It’s a bit burn-y and I’m constipated.
.-= Akilah Sakai´s last blog ..Gadgets Get Me Hot =-.
So I come to read this post and it says 0 comments so I’m all “Yay, I’ll make a milestone here and be the first to comment on someone’s blog” and then I click and your coliary of a blog is fucking LIES cause there are seven other comments before mine. Now YOU owe ME a drink. Make it in a highball glass, baby.
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..There’s a good reason I don’t read anything but novels and blogs and you’re about to find out what it is. (It’s cause I’m ignorant) =-.
my favorite word is “discombobulated”. i like the way it sounds.
i hope that is not coliary of me.
.-= erin´s last blog ..we were meant for each other =-.
That pinky thing? Is genius. I’m always recognizing people (sort of) and wondering if I recognize them because we are best friends or because they’re assholes or maybe both.
.-= Trout Towers´s last blog ..just because =-.
Thanks for the laugh. As usual, I came to the right place!
“Coliary” sounds like a cutesy old-fashioned name for a colonic. Like something my grandmother would have recommended for just about anything. “Oh dear, you have tennis elbow? Perhaps we better get out the old coliary bag and see if we can’t fix you right up.”
.-= BabyShrink´s last blog ..A Comprehensive List of Parenting Resources =-.
I just came back from college drunk.
you’re right, einstein never had to lie about getting off the computer….
.-= erin´s last blog ..we were meant for each other =-.
Dear Jenny,
I murdered a zombie baby, despite someone claiming it was just coliary. Either way, it’s dead, along with that witness too. Just thought I’d confess it here.
P.S. You should probably delete the ‘coliary’ post. The cops could take this as a confession.
I would really like to thank you for sharing this awesome word with us all because I totally hate it when I can’t think of the word I want to use and people already think I’m weird (and some of them even think I’m smart), so when I use “coliary” they will look at me like I’m being all weird again. Then I can be like, “What? You don’t know what ‘coliary’ means? What’s wrong with you? Get a dictionary dummy.”
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..The Fight =-.
I never came back from college. I just moved off campus an got a job in the university’s library.
I can’t say the word linoleum…I mean like….at all. I just usually end up saying “that cheap ass crap you put on the floor”. As a side note….I’m watching Dirty Jobs while I was reading this…Which I gotta say is like reading The Bloggess while high, because I swear to God Mike is inflating a dead cow. It really gives new meaning to the word Coliary. I’m only catching every other word, because obviously I’m paying more attention to reading. But I keep hearing the word “recycle”…which just seems creepy to me…since, you know, it’s an inflated dead cow.
“The Bloggess: Like Mother Teresa, Only More Coliary”
.-= Lesley´s last blog ..Chris Rates This Blog! =-.
Please. Dooce invented Colliary in the mid-80s.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Caption This! =-.
I would think and assume that you were wrong about the word. The coal mining facility seems right. BUT, you can still use it in a sentence however you would like b/c no one knows what it means. There you are.
.-= Whitney´s last blog ..Personal Loans With No Bank Account Required =-.
Fuck Google. If you check “coliary” in Urban Dictionary, the only online dictionary that matters, it says it isn’t defined YET. Which is basically an endorsement of your future creative powers. Go forth and conquer. I believe in you. Unlike Victor seems to by puling you off the Internet before you fully define coliary. Not that I am comparing myself to him. I came home from college gay AND smart enough to play it cool around the husbands of hot married ladies. That’s called wisdom, and it’s why the American collegiate system is great.
.-= Deb on the Rocks´s last blog ..Tim Gunn’s Secrets — It’s All in How He Makes His T’s Work =-.
Yeah, I kept thinking “Oh, she means…” nope. claim the word! (My new word is Panteasm)
Hilarious!
.-= Sarah ohana mama´s last blog ..Hula Shake Around the Blogosphere {leave your link!} Featuring Hair Thursday =-.
The best part? When you search for coliary in Google…it goes directly to this page, which makes it an official definition I think. So you totally just made up a word. It’s important work you do on the computer after 9 p.m.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Go Gators, but Not Really =-.
Awesome. Hysterical. My husband and I make up words and use them at parties with a totally straight face if we’re not liking the company. Just to see how uncomfortable we can make people and see if anyone will question our made up words. It’s frenticlicle. Coliary may be next on my list.
.-= becca´s last blog ..And the winner is… =-.
SO like what’s up w/Victor? I don’t even get on the computer until past 9 pm And I think coliary is a perfect word & you should SO claim it.Wish you could come hear my cousin read tomorrow! We will meet one day.
It’s true. I myself came back from college bi. Not actully bi, but feeling the need to declare myself as bi. It was after my Women’s Sexuality course (actual course, got credit for it and everything). I learned that everyone is bi. You fall in love with a person, not a gender goddamnit! I learned that. Turned me right around. So perhaps we can use the word coliary to describe those people who claim they are bi but really aren’t bi but feel the need to say they are bi because they are attracted to and fall in love with a person and not a gender goddamnit! Works for me. I’m coliary.
.-= Momish´s last blog ..The Virginia Slims of Housing =-.
People who make up words are just forward thinking geniuses. Fuck Webster. What does he know?
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Third Child Syndrome =-.
Totally agree – but it on urbandictionary.com and it will be yours FOREVER.
::insert evil laugh here::
.-= WildlyBland´s last blog ..Wildly Bland vs The Unruly Child =-.
i’m so glad i’m not the only one whose husband bitches at them for “still being on the computer.” coliary sounds like some kind of digestive term to me but that’s probably because i’ve been having digestive problems lately and i’m also drunk. to the commenter with the word effluent meaning sewage, i like how it’s just so close to affluent meaning wealthy. that’s just what those damn wealthy get.
I totally know that D word that you were thinking of. It’s coliary.
(I’ll fill that bit in later when I think of the work, k?)
.-= Erica ´s last blog ..Half Assed* =-.
Sometimes I have a little time to myself and have a coliary party. You can be invited to the next one, k? I’ll bring the vodka if you bring the pills.
.-= Jen B.´s last blog ..50 things about me =-.
You know, of course, that you just admitted to everyone that you’re gay. Or Bi. I can’t wait to see the Google Search Trends for you now!
Fuckit, that’s my favorite word. I use say it aloud when I couldn’t remember something or think of the precise seductive prose in a column.
And yes, it’s one word, my word, and i always share 🙂
so fuckit away.
I throw “detris”around like it’s my bitch, only it’s “detritus.”
Which is such utter garbage.
.-= barbara´s last blog ..President Obama’s Planned Speech – From The Newswire =-.
Yeah… Google is not coliary. I stopped listening to them when they starting telling people who search for, “bushy girls,” “pop a squat pee,” and “why do my hands smell,” to visit my blog. I am not a “bushy girl,” I rarely “pop a squat” when I pee, and I have no fucking idea “why your hands smell.” Geez. So not coliary!
.-= The Undomesticated Housewife´s last blog ..Road Trip Weekend – Shootin’ the Rapids =-.
Here I see the title and I’m like, “no fucking way she mastered a post on the corollary”!? If you had meant corollary, your title was fucking genius. But you meant coliary. My excitement around your supposed use of “corollary” juxtaposed with my dejection upon finding out that it wasn’t so, has made me realize what a fucking geek I am. Invite me to that party you were talking about…
.-= Love´s last blog ..My Republican Facebook friends are killing me slowly and painfully, something they learned from Cheney, no doubt =-.
I murdered michael jackson. (too soon?)
I totally read the title wrong the first time… I was like what the hell is she talking about colic for?? and I’m NOT drunk!!! bwahahahahahahaha…. time for me to go to sleep methinks…
.-= PottyMouth Mommy´s last blog ..Seriously???!!! What… the…. FUCK!!!!!???? =-.
i did not know about coliary until now. but i do sing the words :
“the girl with coliitis goes by”
when i am singing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”
I read the post thinking you meant corrolary and then I went to dictionary.com and damned if it wasn’t a word either. And there weren’t any suggestions that seemed right. So I sat here for 10 minutes trying to find the word I was thinking of and I think it’s corollary. Which IS a word – but for some reason didn’t come up as an option on dictionary.com so now I am pretty sure THAT website sucks ass.
This whole thing has taken so long that now I have no idea WHAT word I thought you meant, and corollary and coliary sound exactly the same and I need a drink.
.-= Daffodil Campbell´s last blog ..And more and more and more =-.
Whew.
Glad I read that all the way thru.
Cuz I was feeling quite the fucking moron for not know what coliary meant.
.-= Sharkey!´s last blog ..Prepare to Meet God =-.
I get words stuck in my head all the time. Once I had the word fellatio stuck in my head, but no idea what I meant. So I asked my mom.
That wasn’t awkward at all.
Don’t you DARE delete this coliary post. Otherwise, you’ll have to kick a bunch of people’s asses when, in the future after your word has taken over the list of Coolest Words Ever Fabricated, Of EVER, other people try to take credit for Coliary, and then you’d have to get your own army to go after them. Wait. Army… HA!
It’s gonna’ be great fun to drop this word authoritatively into conversations in the future, and watch otherwise-eloquent people’s faces…
.-= Bella @lunaticfamily´s last blog ..The one in which I tell you how exciting it is when Google finds your brand new blog =-.
So I totally went to make a wikipedia page for your new word, because if it’s on wikipedia it toally belongs to you like a copyright that everyone else can add to. Turns out they don’t accept “new words” (fucking wikipedia, all high and mighty and shit). So then I went to make you a ‘The Bloggess’ entry and realized it would take me forever to compile your list of ‘bloggessisms’ & right now I’m too drunk on Makers, and my dog is barking at the air compressor/nail gun my husband is using and I’m all confused. Also, could you elect which color of tan is right for my main hallway? Husband and I can’t decide. Ugh if only the dog would stop barking at it like it’s gonna eat it’s babusz’ brains. Did I just fuck up my apostrophes? Doh well.
Anyway, make a wiki, cause you’re a notable person and shit.
I think coliary means the same thing as copacetic. You know, if you just don’t get it, keep it…coliary.
Fuck, I think I mixed my meds again.
totally awesome , love it !
Also, apparently iPhone spell check sucks harder than Paris Hilton at the club. I meant “select” and “babies” in my aforementioned comment.
-ToriOreo
work nerds who won’t take the time to discus coliary matters are such a drag.
.-= bea´s last blog ..calculators: why math and I have never been friends =-.
Someone above said they couldn’t say the word linoleum. I have it worse – I can’t say Google. I really can’t – it comes out all drooly. I think it’s holding me back in life. If I could say Google, I think I would finally get that pony.
I totally believe that the only satisfying coliary of college is being gay.
Hey where are you in Texas? I’m visiting Dallas all the way out from Manila and I want to stalk— I mean — meet my favorite blogger! (
.-= The Demigod´s last blog ..Probably Should Skip This if You’re Fat (Like Me) =-.
The coliary chuckwalla used his cochlea to hear the choleric utterings on the couloirs of the coterie of people who cut off their enemies’ pinkies as they smoked their claros as they wore cuirass and failed to use their locus coeruleus.
I’m not drunk but I will have a headache in the morning. I had to wait until I got home to post a comment because my iPhone was all swimmy and shit.
So that’s what I missed in college…oh and that explains why my husband has lesbian anxiety with me. Oh! It’s all explained now.
.-= AmyAnne´s last blog ..I Refuse To Hold Myself & My Family Hostage =-.
I was asked to come up with my favorite 12 words by someone else, so I’ll share them with you and then share the story I wrote for them.
My 12 words =
hecka or hella (depends on the audience/city)
crunk
misogynist
Dubya
a’ight
kinky
Patriot
psychedelic
wedgie
zealot
ninja
chimichanga
and my story was: A review by Perez Hilton:
Hey kids, we’re at the Hollywood Premiere of Michael Moore’s ‘Capitalism: A Love Story’ and I have two words: SCIN-TILL-ATING. The celebs came out in style and damn they were HAUTE! Ben Affleck arrived in plaid trousers and can I just confess: that’s one bloke I wouldn’t fight even if he WAS paparazzi. Dakota Fanning may have violated her New Moon stipulate by sharing her democratic views on the red carpet but shhhh, Dakota – we won’t tell! Fiesty Megan Fox, ever the trollop, wore her signature split-to-the-hip gown that would make even Glenn Beck peckish. And the fall trends were out in full force, people. Can we say PLAID?! Demi and Ashton were “twitterpated” in greige kilts that flaunted their new line of oh-so-necessary iphone pocket “Cuddles”. The Brits even showed to give a nod to Mr. Documentary, givin’ me one hella DEL.IC.IOUS shiver ripple. Jude Law looked as yummy as the Ivy’s maple tiramisu in his red velvet Gap hoodie, though he seems to be forgetting his caoutchouc lately, girls. Tisk,tisk. I say this lova’ needs to go to Qatar where they don’t have nannies! Another stud, loin moins sophistiqué, Monsieur Gosselin arrived. Since parting with Dame Fauxhawk, he’s been working scenes like this with a tad bit of nepotism. This is one buck who wants his fifteen minutes.
.-= Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..Hypochondriacs Anonymous: I’m a Member. =-.
I love Mike Rowe. He is the go-to man for all things coliary.
.-= Elfini´s last blog ..Mommy’s dipping in the drupal again… =-.
Great word!!
You meant corollary, a statement which follows readily from a previously proven statement. It is a really colliary word.
Just so you know, I’m claiming all rights to yrailoc. “Yah-rahl-oic”, as it’s pronounced in Wes-anese.
.-= Wes McCoy´s last blog ..This Bitch… =-.
Dexylicanthic. You feel dexylicanthic when the bomb isn’t big enough.
.-= Uncle Leonard´s last blog ..Well, I Never… =-.
yeah.. abreast.. that’s my word. no fucking clue where it came from and I cannot stop it from flying out of my mouth… seriously like 8 times in the last 48 hours.. how many real opportunities does someone get to say “abreast” in daily conversation… that’s right, about 7. And I over did it by one… Great. But now I totally have a new effing word. “coliary”
amazing.
Let’s face it, new words have to start somewhere. I recon you’re a genius too!
.-= Lea White´s last blog ..To the moon (and beyond) and back =-.
I love that you have invented a word right out of my childhood! I had a collie named Larry and that’s sort of the same especially because my collie named Larry was kind of retarded and did not lack enthusiasm.
.-= lindasue´s last blog ..Bright Autumn on a cloudy blustery day. =-.
If I hadn’t stopped to look up the definition, I probably would have had the first comment on your blog. I never get to post the first comment. That’s so coliary.
.-= Barbara´s last blog ..Box 191 Radio City Station =-.
Oh, well fucking coliary!! You’re fucking BRILLIANT! I must tweet this new word…it could be anything…it’s like the chameleon of the blogosphere.
Coliary you later….or something like that.
Coliary!!
.-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last blog ..Shan’s Week~End Wordles =-.
Urban Dictionary that word and claim it before someone else uses it and make it theirs and then there will be a whole new Twitter war started over who owns Coliary.
Coliary: a sentence bookmark for a word to be named later. b. Used in place of a word you should know but don’t know because you went through the public school system.
noun, adjective, verb
I love the word “mastication” because, well, it just sounds so dirty but instead is totally coliary.
And no, spellcheck, I did NOT mean “colitis”.
Or did I?
.-= Mama Bee´s last blog ..You Found Me =-.
i believe Al Gore already called that word!! Anyway there is an antibiotic for “coliary”, but you have to take it 24 hours BEFORE exposure!
See I always was told I had nonoplexia and that’s why I couldn’t remember words but it turns out that the word coliary was just missing from my life. Good thing too because nonoplexia is a fucking coliary to alzheimer’s.
.-= Kiera´s last blog .. =-.
P.S. Tell Victor to shut up. I’m on the computer and it’s 1:42 am. I love being a teenager.
.-= Kiera´s last blog .. =-.
Dude, it’s 10:49 pm PST and your word *still* isn’t on urbandictionary! Go claim that bitch–it’s so coliarily yours!
p.s. to Overflowing Brain–I had a similar moment. I asked my mom what horny meant. Yeah. That went well . . .
.-= country mouse´s last blog ..something’s in the air =-.
I like “spoony”! “Spoony”, which is TOTALLY A REAL WORD; it means foolishly sentimental. I love it because it’s one of those words that make people roll their eyes at you for being so childish as to use fake words, but you can turn to its entry in the dictionary, and then throw the book at their smug face. You know, it’s a coliary.
I was totally watching the same Dirty Jobs! I missed the inflated cow, dammit. Ok so I wasn’t really paying attention to the show, it was on for noise while I was perving people on Facebook.
I wish I could claim ‘perving’, but I think some freak on the internet made it up.
OK, I just made a vow and I think if we all pitch in we can totally get you, the creator of the best new word of 2009, recognized by Webster’s. I vowed to use “coliary” in three conversations tomorrow. Said with a straight face and an air of authority, no one will challenge me. My friends will use it, and they’ll tell three friends, and they’ll tell three friends…. BINGO! Webster’s is totally gonna call! Congratulations!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..If you give a girl a carriage…. =-.
Einstein also didn’t come up with the word “coliary”. And he’s jealous.
Einstein: 0.5 Bloggess: 1
(I had to give him half a point for that whole mathematical genius thing he had going on…you still win though. Because words are mightier than the calculator)
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..put some clothes on your children…PLEASE =-.
I used to like to try to sneak “effluvium” into sentences, but I didn’t know what it meant, either. Turns out that it probably refers to farts.
.-= schmutzie´s last blog ..Grace in Small Things: Part 289 of 365 =-.
This is going to be so fun! My future in-laws are totally, absolutely annoying me lately. They don’t speak English all that well, so methinks “coliary” would make a good answer to everything. And…It starts now.
.-= Brooke´s last blog ..Ballmania Lip Gloss =-.
My favoritest made up word (besides favoritest) is the combination of inconspicuous and suspicious, forming my favorite: inconspicious.
inconspicuous : not readily noticeable +
suspicious: tending to arouse suspicion =
inconspicious: sneaking around sneakily
.-= SupaCoo´s last blog ..Good Intentions =-.
Lewis Carroll made up a crapload of words but also coined the concept of a portmanteau (though that word is actually French) which is when you cram two or more words together to make a new one, which was his explanation of the word slithy as a portmanteau of lithe and slimy. This is a paraphrasing of a Wikipedia article that automatically escapes from my head like a brain fart any time someone talks about making up new words, although portmanteaus are constantly being coined these days but hardly anyone is making new words from scratch anymore. Good job.
.-= The Great Joe Bivins´s last blog ..PITCHER: You’ve Got Unpopular Blog! =-.
Gah, you’ve got a new post out and I still haven’t thought of a kickass comment for your GPS story. How coliary is that?
Please come up with more words with no definitions, because I enjoy using vocabulary that no one understands. You’re gonna make me look like a freakin’ genius.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Movin’ on =-.
You know I totally went to look up what that word means, and this blog was the first search result? And the Swish Embassy, whatever that is, says you can totally have ‘coliary’.
Use it wisely.
Sidenotes:
– I like the sound of real words that sound made up, like ubiquitous.
– cookie dough is kinda bad for you but it’s hard to stop eating it because it’s so tasty. But since it’s meant to be cooked in the oven to make cookies, it’s technically cookie foetus. Yeah, doesn’t sound as tasty hey? That’s my contribution to the “fight against obesity”. My other hand is in a bag of chips, so um good luck in finding a way to make those less tasty!
Coliary is just a classier way of saying “Brain Fart”.
.-= Simply Mags´s last blog ..The Problem Is, You’re All Going To Be Alive…Ummmm, I Mean Die…….. =-.
Einstein had it easy in comparrison. He only had to deal with Nazis.
.-= William´s last blog ..Workshop =-.
i just googled coliary, as if…although, I think it is a word now. googled just fine for me 😉
i make up words all the time too but my husband isn’t psychic either and NEVER guesses what i’m talking about. but my words don’t always sound real like coliary does. other people just kind of look at me like i’m either really smart or really wierd, depending on how smart they are…
You know what other word came back from college all gay. Defenestrate. Except it went to a really snotty college and came back all pretentious and now all the other gay words trash talk him at the Sunday Bitch Brunch.
It’s like a rearrangement of the word corollary, which I spelled wrong FIVE TIMES, and if it’s still wrong I DON’T CARE.
.-= Swistle´s last blog ..As Many X as We Have Room For =-.
Okay first…love the word…second if you didn’t have a gay experience in college your parents wasted $80,000.00. Third love the word, Coliary, and although it might not be a defined word yet it will be once your NATION takes over. Look at the words/phrases boodilicious or EVOO. They are now recognizable words in every day use. Your word will one day join them. So until then don’t feel all coliary about it 🙂
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Laborless Day =-.
Einstein did NOT have to deal with this shit.
He was desperately ill with an acute case of coliary.
OMG you’re right.
It works EVERYWHERE.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Motivational Filler – Panic =-.
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe.
(Pardon any mistakes, that’s from memory, not a cut-and-paste. Cutting and pasting wouldn’t have been coliary, you know?)
.-= CKHB´s last blog ..Thanks for stopping by! =-.
You are like Einstein. Soon I’m be teaching your work to my college students, I’ll include it in the theory section because you do know that there is theory about word creation (You are a freaking theoretical genius!). And I’m pretty sure some of my students are probably very familiar with your college rules. Although I’m not going to tell you which students.
.-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..How Alessandra Stanley Helps Write in a Glass Ceiling for Diane Sawyer & Katie Couric =-.
Love this word coliary.
Definition in dating terms: When one can’t quite close the deal with the person they are really after so one keeps a “coliary” person around until confirmation with the replacement.
Brilliant!
I have a raging Coliary right now. Wait, is it supposed to be capitalized? It feels like it should be.
Spewage: when Djs, reporters and advertisers talk and talk and talk about nothing.
“Change the channel. I’m sick of all that spewage!”
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Just Call me Ed…Special Ed =-.
Wow. I guess I missed out in college. All I came back was an engineer. That means I *might* have been gay or bi, but I wouldn’t have noticed, because apparently we’re like that. But I haven’t noticed anyone observing that either.
.-= harmzie´s last blog ..Manic =-.
OK – in all seriousness – this is kind of actually brilliant. I’m working on a book right now and sometimes get so stuck on a word that I just… well.. .die. Sticking in a placeholder I can search for later is genius.
.-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..The Mountain. (Or: By the end of the week I’ll have killed this blog entirely with all this emotional shit. So there’s that.) =-.
I still maintain that coliary means: When things in your life mesh like they were collated. Happens once every 27.9 years, and lasts 12.3 seconds. Coliary. I just won the fucking spelling bee… or the definition bee or the coliary.
.-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Y’all Make Me Sick =-.
I would say you need to Urban Dictionary the hell out of that word, but I think the definition would be like two pages long, and that basically makes it a Wikipedia entry instead, and adding stuff to Wikipedia is SO 2008.
Shakespeare made up his own words. And he’s a fucking genius. So if it worked for him, I say it’ll work for you. Although we already know you’re a fucking genius.
.-= Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Tuesday Trivia: Presidents =-.
I believe more than one is a “coliary of wolverines.”
Also. Copasetic. I love that word.
You just repeated a South Park episode. coliary = marklark
We tried to get in touch with Amy Sedaris but she has Coliary. I’m pretty sure it’s your fault for inventing it. Nice. And you want her to be your best friend? Trying to kill her won’t help (trust me.)
.-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Nun tubes? =-.
That is so … coliary.
.-= Beth´s last blog ..ARRGGHHHHH!!! =-.
Google sucks – but I bet I know what word you were going for. Corollary. It’s a word I didn’t really know how to pronounce, but when I said the word you’d come up with to my fella he suggested corollary and when I looked it up it’s the word I was thinking of when I read corialy. Even if I’m wrong, it’s also a bloody good word. As is callipygous.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
This……is coliary. And by “coliary” I actually mean “amazing.”
.-= M. Butterfly´s last blog ..Doing the Backstroke: The End of Summer =-.
May I remind you this is the internet, young lady, and a word either exists or it doesn’t.
Since this is the internet, any thing posted must be truthful, or else it constitutes pollution of the tubes.
You don’t want pollution of the tubes on your conscience, do you,
beaverfaceJL?I didn’t think so.
Because that would be fucking coliary of you.
HOW could you live with yourself ? ? ? ?
LOL,
How’s gugga for a made-up word?
My oldest made it up when he was a toddler.
As near as I can figure it’s his way of cussing without getting into trouble.
Oh my, this is still here. I think we must begin to worry about your drinking. If you haven’t sobered up yet who’s taking care of Hailey?
I know I just met your blog and all but is it wrong to say I love you? 🙂
.-= Tarasview´s last blog ..Tegu (press release) =-.
Coliary. A 7-letter word for Scrabble. You are simply brilliant!
.-= submom´s last blog ..Twitter Douche Bot is a Douche indeed… =-.
I think the word you love is corollary, which isn’t too far off from the definition you made up for coliary. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corollary
And no, I didn’t know what corollary meant before looking it up on Wikipedia. BUT! I did know how to spell it! Thank you, Harvard education!
.-= CrazyGirl Nation | Advice for Crazy Girls and the People Who Love Us´s last blog ..The Art of Buying the Beautiful =-.
just so you know ToriOreo…it’s because of your name that I had to send my husband to the store to pick up DoubleStuf Oreo’s. ok, I didn’t actually send him to the store just for oreos, he was going to pick up the girl child and i asked him to pick up beer on the way back, and then i saw your name and added oreos to the list.
.-= erin´s last blog ..we were meant for each other =-.
Okay, I’m a bit terrified of the meaning, now that I Googled Coliary and clicked on Images. It’s meaning is unclear, but I’m thinking it has something to do with club fingers, mucous, and a cup of lard.
Wait!! I’m totally thinking Coliary is a great insult word (i.e. ‘your mom’s an angry coliary,’ or ‘if your boss wasn’t such a coliary, we could be off work in time to cloth homeless people with kitten mittens.’) a la douche.
You’re a genius! Now I get to insult assholes I work with without them knowing it. Kudos.
Are you gay? Because if you are, I think we belong together.
Corollary? That’s just a stab in the dark. Marry me.
.-= ozma´s last blog ..Crazy Dictator Month: Depressing Edition =-.
Um, Dearest Bloggess: my husband just said the definition of ‘coliary’ is to act as a placeholder in written documents until you can think of the actual word you would like to use. Simple. You’re Welcome.
I’d rather have a coliary than a coronary.
.-= califmom´s last blog ..Now Im Robbing Banks =-.
I bet he did, and I know I do. My wife is a really coliariac coliary.
.-= LiteralDan´s last blog ..Not to belabor a theme, but… =-.
I am SOOOOO glad you did not “delete this post in the morning” otherwise I would never know the right word to scream when I bite the inside of my lip really hard by accident.
So thank you. Mwah!
.-= Caroline´s last blog ..Rescue Dad Sticker =-.
As I’m reading this, laughing, finally getting a minute to myself, my husband is standing behind me. Just as I’m about to get to your update #2 he says to me, “Is this what you want to do? Be in the computer?” I tell him, yes. I haven’t sat down all day and this is what I want to do. He sulks off and then I read your update. The timing couldn’t have been better!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Tunes for Tuesday =-.
Are you sure you didn’t mean corollary? Cuz this definition sounds like you, which I found on Wiki, but which as I said sounds more like you. Did you put it there?
“A corollary is a statement which follows readily from a previous statement. In mathematics a corollary typically follows a theorem. The use of the term corollary, rather than proposition or theorem, is intrinsically subjective. Proposition B is a corollary of proposition A if B can readily be deduced from A, but the meaning of readily varies depending upon the author and context. The importance of the corollary is often considered secondary to that of the initial theorem; B is unlikely to be termed a corollary if its mathematical consequences are as significant as those of A. Sometimes a corollary has a proof that explains the derivation; sometimes the derivation is considered to be self-evident.”
You did, didn’t you? Cuz I’m as confused after reading that as I was when I was reading about coliary. Hard to get one over on this girl.
.-= Fragrant Liar´s last blog ..Vajayjay to Staycay =-.
LOVE IT! I dunno why but when I think Coliary I think colon? So like I said on Twitter, Coliary is that funny pressure you feel when someone is playing with your backdoor.
And the mother of all coliaries? When someone goes to play with your backdoor and they stick a long uneven fingernail that needs severe filing. That sh*t has to be the mother of all coliaries.
Five steps to coliary delight…
(1) trademark ‘coliary’
(2) Right-click on that little squiggled word ‘coliary’ and click ‘Learn Spelling’. That’s right, you just added it the dictionary on your computer.
(3) All we have to do is get the other billion computer users to do the same thing and its as real a word as anything else out there. Oh yeah baby, mob rule!
(4) Dictionaries web sites are going to be like “oh we want to add coliary now” and you can be like “fuck you, you wouldn’t accept back during THE GREAT INSPIRATION so die!”.
(5) You can make money off Webster’s and Google and anyone else who uses your trademark word on their site by suing their asses for trademark infringement.
I am getting yelled at right NOW for being on the computer.
I think you are psychic.
.-= ZDub´s last blog ..Shimmy Shimmy Cocoa What? =-.
So I am thinking – does it rhyme with diary or is it said real fast so it sort of sounds like Larry? Whatever, I get so fucking coliary about these things – and I think your fabulous powers have just hit high voltage neon wattage.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..On the road and back again =-.
Wow….So much in one blog my mind is complete coliary!
.-= Janie Woods´s last blog ..For the Love of God! Pay Attention in School, PLEASE!!! =-.
Can I just say? You are so freaking hilarious and I love you.
.-= Jen @ lifelove’n’wine´s last blog ..That dog? HAS A BAG ON IT’S A**! =-.
Now that urban dictionary has rejected Coliary, isn’t about time that the bloggess army get cranking back into motion?
turns out that ‘coliary’ was just the word that i have been looking for, as well. i used it to title an e-journal of sorts. incidentally, these things also give me a coronary.
I had been mispronouncing (and misspelling, as it turns out) ‘detritus.” I wanted it to be “detrius.”
.-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..I Have to Ask for a WHAT? =-.
I’m off to make up a whole slew of words right now and try to get them in the dictionary right now. You’re such an inspiration.
.-= Tashs´s last blog ..Toddler Talk =-.
To echo post #99… In the land of Serious, this is a great concept that all writers should espouse & know. Coliary — It’s a cure for the common writer’s block. Whenever I’m in the middle of a draft, and I can’t think of the right word, phrase, or sentence? I throw in these things –> { }. Y’know, as a placeholder. Or, if I realize that last bit of dialogue was utter shit, but the idea’s right (but seriously, I need to fix it in revision ‘cuz it’s utter shit)… I put these things around the offensive words –> { }.
What are those things called? I mean, I could look it up, but it’s not like it’s common knowledge. You know what? They’re now called “coliary brackets.” That’s what they are. Or if you prefer highlighters, it’s the “coliary highlight.” The concept has a word, and that word is ‘coliary’.
(postscript — okay, I looked those things up. “Coliary brackets” is a much cooler name and concept for them than what wikipedia says they’re used for.)
Holy Shit! You ARE a genius. Or a coliary. Either one.
Over here we use “hoojee.” Although, since we only every verbalize it, spelling is unknown. Shit! I can’t even google it!
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..I curse =-.
It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
Awesome! … but somehow I suspect that the Urban Dictionary people are only in it to get your legion of followers to buy mugs. They have certainly tried to coliary the definition of ‘coliary’ …. Wait. Can I use it as a verb, too? Does it fill in for any word in a sentence or only a noun? THE URBAN DICTIONARY REFUSED TO HELP ME HERE!! I could use a few more examples, dictionary guys.
That was fucking coliary! It made me so coliary I’m going to run out and get myself a coliary drink after work tonight….brilliant!
I want to be as coliary as you are. no, really.
I want a husband who lets me drink and pop xanax whenever I please.
My husband hates me.
But thats ok .. because now, Im all … BEACH! and he’s all “homeless in Texas”
BooYaw!
That was fucking coliary! It made me so coliary I’m going to run out and get myself a coliary drink after work tonight….brilliant!
.-= The Bare Essentials Today´s last blog ..Facebook = Benjamin Button =-.
I like to use “hoo-ha”. Yes it also means “down there”, as in females – down there, but when i can’t think of the word I wanna use, I’ll say something apropos like “Jaysus, that hoo-ha just almost f’n ran me down.” or “It beats getting the hoo-ha kicked outta you” or “She’s a hoo-ha because she has her kids on some strange sleeping schedule.” or something like that.
.-= The Fashion Slinger´s last blog ..Adtalk = Hi-larious =-.
too funny, now I’ll have to add this to my vocab. I’m still laughing about your Ghetto GPS!
We truly should market that one…
.-= Bj In Dallas´s last blog ..Not My First Rodeo… =-.
Yeah the Urban dictionary has disappointed me on occasion. Like when someone wrote “PEW tell your husband I said Hi” on my FB page…I thought. What the hell is PEW ? Google lead me astray so I checked Urban Dict and it too lead me astray…although it did give me a snort when it said PEW meant “very stinky”
.-= WM´s last blog ..Sometimes it’s great to let others do your work for you =-.
oh my god you are a genius. i totally want to buy that mug
.-= grooveycakes´s last blog ..wait, what? =-.
So awesome that it is now on the urban dictionary. I’m gonna link the shit out of it.
Awesome. Except for the part how I can’t pronounce it right, not even in my head. What’s that about?
I told you that you were a theoretical genius and them publishing only confirms it.
You are like an endomethodologist (and yes that’s a real theory from a man named Dr. Harold Garfinkel, sociologist). With your word creation you are both understanding the world and helping to create the world. By describing what coliary is you have created a social reality.
So put that in your pipe and smoke it. And don’t forget to pass it on the left hand side.
.-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..The Autumn Breeze of 2009 =-.
Looks like you can order a mug with coliary’s “definition” off of urban dictionary. Doesn’t seem quite right, them making $$ from your word. I think that’s why they’re fucking with you. More traffic = increase chances of sales… blah blah blah.
Who knew Urban Dictionary even *had* rules about what could and could not be added. Sounds quite… Coliary (can’t think of the world right now) to me.
.-= Kevin´s last blog ..Facebook Sucks =-.
Isn’t it a coronary when you’re crowned high priestess or something?
.-= Trout Towers´s last blog ..evidence =-.
See what a little coliary will get ya?
.-= dubiousMa´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday =-.
Urban dictionary defines my blog title…MY BLOG TITLE as doing something from a movie or show -I don’t even know – related to the name of the show. Completely circular.
booshy. I personally perfer my own definition…bur urban dictionary currently holds top rank on google while I come in second. And they don’t even bother with spell check. What.the.hell.
I think you should get that definition on a mug.
.-= ChimaeraLaurie´s last blog ..The Prince’s Rainforest Campaign =-.
You are cracked…cracked I say. I haven’t been keeping up lately but I’m all caught up now. I’m thinking of adding vampires to my book too. I think it will add just the right amount of flavor. Ukrainian orphans can get kinda boring after a while. Of course that will mean that it will take even longer to finish…which I suspect was your plan all along. Bitch. You’re so competitive. Geesh. You’ve already got the whole “not working for a living” thing going for you, while I slave away scoring standards and auditing all day long, for the MAN. Ok fine, you win. So what if you finish your book before me. It’s not like I care or anything. You don’t need to be so judgey.
ps. I don’t need a GPS…so there.
pps. you’re such a coliary
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Summertime is Here =-.
Wait, you don’t mean Collier brothers, do you?
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Don’t Be Alarmed, But I Think Someone’s Dead =-.
Urban Dictionary Rules? The Bloggess scoffs in the face of your rules.
.-= bea´s last blog ..calculators: why math and I have never been friends =-.
Victor is just jealous. He wishes he came up with coliary first and now he’s bitter because you’re awesome and all he has is already discovered words. Even Urban Dictionary was jealous too. You just know the “editor” who reviewed your definition was like, “damn, why didn’t I think of that word?!” Then after they denied you they realized they were messing with The Bloggess and the army of minions who took down Shatner so they had to fold and publish the definition to avoid your wrath.
Basically, you’re just like the mafia only with more drugs.
.-= LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..The house isn’t going to blow up or collapse so basically it was a good day. =-.
i like the word ‘flibbertyjibbet’ but of course don’t know how to spell it, but i’m always calling myself a flibbertyjibbet like i’m meg ryan in joe vs the volcano… i’ll tell you as a free bonus, what word i hate, and that’s ‘sensual’ like when cheesy art critics who don’t know the word coliary walk around saying some piece of crap art was sennnnnsual… makes me feel like smoking a cigarette and taking a shower….
.-= Elaine-´s last blog ..Rescue Plant =-.
Because my name is Mary, I used to have a newspaper column called “Quite Contrary” but obviously “Quite Coliary” would have been far superior and I would’ve had an agent and a NYT bestseller right now instead of making pennies on my blog. Damn.
Also your ass-kicking cool word, pronounced slightly differently, would come in handy if you like were trying to cover something up that you did with another person, for which you both needed to LIE.
eg: “OMG, Melissa and I totally DID NOT dig up that corpse to steal her 5 carat diamond. And we’re not just saying that cuz we’re all co-liar-y or whatever.”
.-= marymac´s last blog ..Putting the Labor in Labor Day =-.
I can’t believe you just totally got a word recognized on the URBAN DAMN DICTIONARY. I should not be surprised. That is a lot of power. I think you rule the world now. You might want to tell Victor, unless he really IS a psychic. Then he already knows.
.-= JenniferG´s last blog ..Hello Again Running Shoes! (Oh, How I Have Missed You.) Shall We Kick It Into High Gear Again? =-.
JenniferG — getting a definition into UD is a remarkable feat, but to be fair about it, I have one in there too. http://tinyurl.com/nstm3e (real URL contains a profane word)
.-= Shawn K. Quinn´s last blog ..The $2,520 question =-.
Well Duh. Anyone knows that coliary IS a word coming from the root word:
COLON n. The section of large intestine extending from cecum to rectum
Coliary is the procedure when your colon is “aired-out” causing is to become “airy.”
Therefore, causing you to become ‘less full of $hit.’
Which, I’m not sure is possible !
.-= Swampy´s last blog ..HGTV…Design Star =-.
It’s a perfectly cromulent word…
Corollary perhaps? It’s like the opposite of non sequitur.
I think you should create a new word each and every day and publish the Definitions of The Bloggess. And I love the word facetious. I never knew how to spell it.
.-= MaNiC MoMMy´s last blog ..a SToRy By TuKey: PuRPLe DuCK =-.
It sounds like a cold medicine, but I’d rather it were something made with vodka. Or a personal injury law firm. Coliary & Coliary. (Oh, and screw those little red squiggly lines – they know NOTHING!)
Yes. Something with vodka. And cranberry juice.
Hey Fuckit – try subbing in “Fuckall” every now and then. It’s pretty coliary.
For years I have been using “cat” and “dog” as placeholders when I get stuck for a word–which is damn confusing if I am writing about my cats. Now I have “coliary”–thank you!
It occurs to me that “coliary” could be a secret password by which your readers identify themselves to each other. Just casually drop coliary into a conversation and see who understands.
I did this same thing with the word “myogiosis”. Except, I totally thought it was a word; I was going for gynecomastia. And, I put it as an answer on my pathology exam. Totally didn’t receive credit.