Victor says this conversation is about me “not being able to behave like an adult” but I’m pretty sure it’s about how he loves Hitler so damn much.

Conversation with my husband about Hitler:

Victor:  This house is a wreck.

me:  This house is a creative haven.

Victor:  No.  It’s just a wreck.

me:  Well, I don’t know why you’re telling me about it.  It’s not my job to clean the house.

Victor: Yeah, actually it is.  Remember?  You were going to quit your job and work on your book?  And clean the house.  And do the errands.  That was the deal, remember?

me:  Not really.  That doesn’t sound like a deal I’d make.

Victor: “I’m going to be the best housewife EVER.  I’ll just write and clean and cook.” Sound familiar?

me:  Fuzzy.  I was probably drunk when I said all that.

Victor:  “FREE BLOW JOBS FOR EVERYBODY!”

me:  Oh.  That does sound like something I’d say.  Are you mad about the blowjobs?

Victor: No.  I’m mad about the fact that we both work at home and that this home is a fucking wreck.

me:  It’s not that bad.  You’re over-reacting because you’re kind of an anal freak.

Victor:  You are using a frisbee as a plate.

me:  What? I’m not-oh hang on, this is a frisbee.  Weird.

Victor: *glare*

Me:  Dude.  I’ll wash it afterward. It’s probably dishwasher safe.

Victor:  It’s not about whether the frisbee is dishwasher safe.  It’s about the fact that you’re using a fucking frisbee to eat on because there are no clean plates.

me:  There are totally clean plates.  I just saw this on the counter and grabbed it.  Technically it’s a kick-ass plate.  It even has a lip on it so you don’t spill anything.

Victor:  How does this not bother you?!

me:  IT TOTALLY BOTHERS ME. I can’t believe I ever agreed to clean the house in exchange for quitting my job.  I can’t believe you’d even think that would work.  If anything you should have known better when you made that deal.  This is all sort of your fault.

Victor:  I’m going to strangle you.

me:  And I’m going to replace all our plates with frisbees.  Because I’m a visionary.

Victor:  I’m fucking serious.

me:  SO AM I.  THESE FRISBEE PLATES ARE AWESOME.  Besides, I don’t have time to clean because I’m busy doing social media stuff.

Victor:  What did you accomplish today?

me:  A lot.  Social media maven…stuff.

Victor: No.  What exactly did you do today?  Quantify it for me.

Me:  It’s not quantifiable.  There aren’t even metrics for the shit I do.

Victor:  Try.

me:  I re-watched the first season of Chad Vader.

Victor:  ?

me:  For research.

Victor:  The fuck?

me:  AND I did this doodle about Hitler.

bloggess hitler toon

Victor:  That’s…not even remotely funny.

me:  Dude, it’s totally funny.  You know? Because people always say ‘They only hate me because they’re jealous‘.  But then it’s Hitler and everyone really does hate him and isn’t jealous at all?

Victor:  Not funny.

me:  I think I just need drawing lessons.  It took me like two hours just to work out how to put a scarf on a stick figure.  And that’s why I didn’t have time to clean all the soup I spilled in the microwave.  By the way, don’t look in the microwave.

Victor:  I’m going to lie down until the urge to kill you passes.

Then he left and never came back.  And I had to clean the microwave because I’m responsible and also because it started to smell like clam chowder even in the bathrooms.  This is why it sucks to be me.  Also, I’m pretty sure that my husband is anti-Semitic.

PS.  Victor says that not laughing at a joke about Hitler doesn’t make you anti-Semitic but that’s I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what an anti-Semite would say.  They have terrible senses of humor.

Comment of the day: Your Hitler seems to be choking on a chicken bone. If that had happened to the real Hitler in the late 20’s so much could’ve been avoided. Of course then the Hitler jokes wouldn’t be as funny. ~ Carolyn Online

196 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Totally with you on the Frisbee thing.
    .-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..So now I’m the unwitting poster child for why people shouldn’t have children? =-.

    Like

  2. This definitely sounds like a convo I’d have with my husband.
    .-= Jessica @ How Sweet It Is´s last blog ..Hearty Veggie Soup. =-.

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  3. And just THINK how easy serving dinner would be…
    .-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursdays: Roommates =-.

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  4. I think it’s hilarious, the drawing. But I would never eat on a frisbee. I can’t stand plastic dishware.
    .-= Jaime´s last blog ..Let’s all avoid the elephant today, shall we? =-.

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  5. My husband just left for work FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. Don’t think I won’t be breaking out the frisbee’s tonight.
    .-= Amo´s last blog ..It must be nice where he lives. =-.

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  6. I’m going out, right this minute to buy some frisbees. And then, after dinner tonight, when we’re all sitting around the table looking for something to do, we can have contests to see who can toss their frisbees into the sink and actually make the shot! Wow, not only will be sharing a meal together, as a family, but we’ll be participating in a [semi] athletic event too!

    Jenny, you truly are a visionary! I thank you, my kids REALLY thank you and the dude who is going to be replacing all of our windows REALLY REALLY fucking thanks you!
    .-= Audrey at Barking Mad´s last blog ..Zombies Ate My Brain =-.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Frisbee plates are probably the best invention ever. Once you’re done eating, you can rinse them off, and then dry them by tossing them around in the yard.

    IT TAKES CARE OF DIET AND EXERCISE AT THE SAME TIME. Sort of. Either way you’ll make millions.

    Like

  8. I am also a slob and call my boyfriend an anti-Semite. Sadly, I still have to go to work.
    .-= Erica´s last blog ..Blog University =-.

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  9. But the scarf looks good. There has to be some awesome scarf meter. This is the fucking internet!
    .-= Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s last blog ..Venus In Furs =-.

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  10. frisbees, you say?

    Like

  11. There are plenty of people who fucking loved Hitler. Victor is probably one of them, judging from this post.
    .-= Marinka´s last blog ..Best Things About Obama Getting the Nobel Peace Prize =-.

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  12. Frisbee plates! Fucking. Super. Awesome.

    Going home this afternoon to smash all my plates and replace them with frisbee’s because that’s just awesome. Also, because I like the sound of smashing plates. Win-Win.

    You should sell the idea and pay for a housekeeper. Also win-win.
    .-= Jelly´s last blog ..I can’t think of a title for this post which doesn’t contain the word ‘cock’. =-.

    Like

  13. The Hitler picture is so funny I AM CALLING YOU RIGHT NOW WHILE I’M LAUGHING.
    .-= Y´s last blog ..Things That Make Me Excited, Childhood Crush Edition =-.

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  14. LOL That is just about how conversations with my husband go. As far as the frisbee goes I think it is a great idea. You should market the idea.!
    .-= Margaret´s last blog ..Need Help =-.

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  15. Do you know that they make light up frisbees? As in, light up plates???

    The possibilities are limitless.
    .-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..So remember those socialist ravers I was telling you about? =-.

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  16. I really don’t understand why Victor doesn’t see the humor in the hitler cartoon….I do. It so completely obvious..duh!
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..No Wonder My Friends Never Pick Up When I Call =-.

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  17. Also glow in the dark frisbees are great for ambiance at the dinner table…and you can always see what you are eating!
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..No Wonder My Friends Never Pick Up When I Call =-.

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  18. Love this line: “That doesn’t sound like a deal I’d make.”
    Waiting to hear it come from my husband’s mouth any day now, since he’s the one who made a similar deal at our house. 🙂
    @LPT
    .-= Laura P Thomas´s last blog ..Bringing the Com to MarCom =-.

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  19. I used to have this really awesome frisbee that had a metal disc in the center that was on ball bearings, so you could throw it up in the air and catch it on your finger and it would KEEP SPINNING. That was like, mind-blowing as a 12 year old. Also you could probably eat off of it. But no soups or anything, that would probably drip through the little cracks and get all messy. SO maybe look for ones that aren’t as awesome as the spin frisbees.

    Like

  20. Man, I’m so into Frisbee plates. Look what you started. I kind of get off on those “smells” from the nuclear wave. It’s like memories of past dishes. Sentimental if you will.
    .-= Michele´s last blog ..Want to Make a Doll Quilt? =-.

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  21. i’m totally with you on the house being a wreck but i have to draw the line on frisbee plates. it conjures up too many images of dog chew marks and slobber.

    andrea
    .-= andrea´s last blog ..heated blankets are kick ass in every way except don’t spoon with them or you’ll burn your fucking thigh. =-.

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  22. I like how the stick girl is wearing a skirt but no shirt. hawtness.

    Like

  23. New England clam chowder or Manhattan?
    .-= Ken´s last blog ..Notes From the Apocalypse =-.

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  24. FYI– our fave seafood shack on Cape Cod serves the kids’ meals on frisbees, so you’re onto something there!

    Like

  25. the scarf is AWESOME! just perfect. my friend nikki told me that’s the new trend. a scarf to replace your top. like you just place a scarf over your boobs, belt it in place and you’re good to freaking go! how cool is that? and now i see stick figures are doing the same thing.

    you *are* a visionary. and i think victor just may be the hilter to your millions of “jews” like as in your awesome frisbee plate ideas are jews and victor is all “i will holocaust you frisbee plates!” watch out because he probably tried to put it in the oven. frisbees melt in the oven.
    .-= mylittlebecky´s last blog ..eHow to swear =-.

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  26. hee hee I only wish for convo’s like this with my anal hubs! LOL!

    Like

  27. My husband thinks I’m a homophobe because I don’t clean up after myself.

    Like

  28. I never realized until just now that I have no idea how to draw a scarf on a stick figure. Great.
    .-= Abi´s last blog ..Maitre Pierre (Trader Joe’s) Tarte d’Alsace =-.

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  29. Tell Victor if he’s not nice to you-you will start cleaning the house…you will start first by cleaning the toilets, with his toothbrush.
    .-= “Seattle” Heather´s last blog ..I’m not creative enough to come up with a title tonight =-.

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  30. Love the drawing! Hitler is sort of hawt.

    Now go and clean the damn house before you get your ass beat.
    .-= Candice´s last blog ..Kickin’ it oldschool with my homie. =-.

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  31. There used to be these microwaveable dinners that came on little hard plastic dishes. I somehow ended up with a collection. Those little bastards are indestructible! Unlike plastic margarine bowls, knives won’t hurt them and it’s hard for guests to guess what they are. I dunno about Frisbees. They’re kinda big.

    Like

  32. Frisbee dishes go well with my unemployed status…I’m heading to “Wally-world”, I mean Walmart now!
    .-= Jules´s last blog ..Is The Word “Feminist” Broken? =-.

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  33. Ummm…I think we’re like, related in some weird way…like that really complicated string theory…the one where…yea, nevermind. I don’t have a fucking clue…

    My point…apparently I also made a deal like that a few months ago…though I’m starting to believe my “duty” list has grown exponentially…just today I got yelled at for not SQUEEZING OUT THE DAMN KITCHEN SPONGES.

    Because, you know, since I’m home, that’s also my responsibility…and it’s WAY TOO DIFFICULT A CHORE for someoe who has a “real” job.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..i hate crucks. they look like aliens. =-.

    Like

  34. Hey, someone say free blowjobs?

    Like

  35. I had no idea that Hitler was so skinny.
    .-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Middle Age is the bane of my existence. =-.

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  36. So look. It’s really crucially important that there be pictures of victor, somewhere, so 1) we know he’s real (sorry Jenny, love you!) and 2) because if he is and he’s cute as well as this smart and funny and, erm, patient, then we know he deserves you. But also 3) because I’m nosy as hell and so is the rest of your army. So throw the minions a bone?
    .-= Bekka´s last blog ..Jewelry =-.

    Like

  37. Think of the mess you could make by taking all of your regular plates and converting them into Frisbees!
    .-= Haley´s last blog ..september =-.

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  38. Shit. I totally forgot about you trying to get us all to give free blow jobs. We don’t really have to do that though, right?

    Like

  39. You’re awesome.
    .-= Taylor´s last blog ..Ugh =-.

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  40. Ok, I just wrote a post about “making peace with housework”. I don’t think there’s a such thing. At least you cleaned the microwave, what more does he want?
    .-= Marisa @ Where’s The Party?´s last blog ..Just do the #&@!*% housework already. =-.

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  41. As requested…picture of Victor: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thebloggess/2306189698/

    Also? It was thin Manhattan Clam Chowder. That’s why it was so spilly.

    Like

  42. You and your fancy frisbee plates, I wish. My frisbees ended up in the back yard and the min pin has been pissing on them. It also pisses on the rottweiler. Min pins are assholes.
    .-= Legs´s last blog ..I want to do reality tv with Sarah Silverman bad. =-.

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  43. Jenny, you make me feel so much better about myself for so many reasons one of which being that you post things like this and make me feel not so alone for being a Stay-at-Home-Orderliness-Destroyer.

    I can’t tell you how many times I *intend* to straighten up or wash the dishes or clean the meat juice that I spilled two weeks ago off the floor (which still definitely hasn’t happened) but then I get distracted by the internet or doing whatever it is I do (it has to be something…, right?) and pretty soon Boyfriend gets home and says “what happened to our house????” And I don’t have an answer for him because I honestly don’t know what I did to make it so messy.

    And though I have never eaten off of a frisbee, I have eaten off of a piece of cardboard that I cut out of one of our moving boxes with a bread knife. That’s recycling.

    In regards to the Hitler cartoon: 1.) Her skirt is very pretty 2.) why is Hitler naked? 3.) How is it that Victor did not understand this? It’s brilliant! Just tell him that your sense of humor is too advanced for him and that someday you’ll be considered a genius like Andy Kaufman (who no one understood for a very long time and then suddenly they were like “oh, i get it!” and he is now considered a comedic genius.)
    .-= Allie´s last blog ..I Would Have Gone to Therapy a Lot Sooner If I’d Known it Would Give Me Superpowers =-.

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  44. DON’T EVER MICROWAVE THE FRISBEE.

    I have it on good authority that kind of thing doesn’t go well at all. Not even a little bit.

    Like

  45. You had better hand out “The Bloggess” frisbees at the next BlogHer. Think how much fun you would have throwing them out at the audience all weekend. You could see how many people you could hit in the head! Just not me.
    .-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..How do I like these apples? =-.

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  46. Wow – now when my other half starts banging on about how “it’s my job to do the housework” and how I’m really crap at it (well – it doesn’t stay done for 5 minutes) I will look at him all confused and say “Oh shit, I must have been channelling Jenny the Bloggess again. Ps I’ll take you up on the blow job because, yeah, I’m desperate and you’re cute.

    Like

  47. My husband works from home and I totally expect him to clean all the time.

    So I call him every five minutes. The conversation goes like this:
    “Are you cleaning?”
    “No, I’m working. Leave me alone.”
    “But are you cleaning?”
    “No, I’m making money for a living so I can support your ass.”
    “But are you washing the dishes?”

    It’s no wonder I come home feeling a little anti-Semitic, and he does, too. And we’re both Jews.
    .-= Vicki´s last blog ..Turkmen rap about Palestinians =-.

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  48. Jews.

    If I left that statement, just like that, perhaps added a knowing nod to every one in the room before walking away–that would sound anti-Semitic.

    Let your hubby know.

    Like

  49. Welp. This post hit home pretty hard. Just showed it to my husband who didn’t say anything. He just shook his head slowly.

    Like

  50. I love that picture of Victor! He is exactly the way I pictured him. (He’s the one on the left, right?)
    .-= Marinka´s last blog ..Best Things About Obama Getting the Nobel Peace Prize =-.

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  51. Your Hitler is choking on a chicken bone. If that had happened to the real Hitler in the late 20’s so much could’ve been avoided. Of course then the Hitler jokes wouldn’t be funny.

    Like

  52. I am deeply grateful for your gift of the phrase, “This house is a creative haven.” It will be my pat answer to every unreasonable demand for order and serenity. Screw all that! And incidentally, there is no quantitative measure for the creative ferment. You are correct, Madame! It’s a random brew.

    Like

  53. I don’t get it. Who is this “Hitler” everyone keeps talking about? Was he one of the backstreet boys?
    .-= Matt´s last blog ..Anniversary =-.

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  54. “It’s not quantifiable. There aren’t even metrics for the shit I do.”

    That is the quote of my week…and it’s only Tuesday. You rule! And I am totally using this in my performance review…

    Like

  55. That’s a lovely drawing, Jenny. Tell Victor you want to tape to on the fridge door.
    .-= Steve´s last blog ..#90 Paper =-.

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  56. Is Victor still lying down? How about now?

    Like

  57. I once drew a picture of Octomom as a supervillan with 8 boobies. I’m pretty awesome, obviously.
    .-= Crissy´s last blog ..And the student becomes the teacher… =-.

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  58. I want frisbees as plates! For no other reason, then to whip dinner across the room at my husband’s head.
    .-= Dani´s last blog ..Take Me Out to the Ball Game…Listen to Me Complain =-.

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  59. Are you sure it’s clam chowder that you are smelling in the bathroom – or is Victor trying to poison you? Just sayin’….I would be careful. In addition, I’m pretty sure that Martha Stewart would find eight non-matching frisbees at the dining table shabby-chic…
    .-= Minivan Soapbox´s last blog ..Get It To Go =-.

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  60. Victor, oh Victor. He is always threatening to kill you.
    That man has real “follow thru” issues.

    p.s. I’m glad he is all bark and no bite, because I’d really miss you. 🙂

    Dana
    .-= Dana´s last blog ..Local Flava! =-.

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  61. When I was a kid, there used to be this restaurant, and they had pizza on their kids’ menu of course. The pizza was like a little personal-sized pizza and it was served on a standard-size frisbee that was printed with the restaurant’s name that you could keep when you went home. I don’t even remember what restaurant that was, but it was awesome.
    .-= Amy.´s last blog ..Okay, Stupid. =-.

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  62. I believe that while perusing your oracle-like advice column, I saw that Victor recently became a torso. You don’t have to take shit from torsos. Tell him to zip the lip. Adult diapers are expensive.
    .-= Amber Forbus´s last blog ..Comment on This hurts me more than it hurts you, Joaquin by BravoJohnie =-.

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  63. So Victor’s not getting the blow jobs and that’s why he’s upset?

    He’s just using the mess as an excuse?

    Diabolical!

    I don’t even know what this comment means…

    Love the doodle!
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..Grains of Salt =-.

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  64. I thought Frisbees were for drinking beer? They’re definitely too hard to throw.. so might as well be useful for some other activity.
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..14 Lost Tweets from 20,000 Feet (or, if I could update Twitter on the plane for =-.

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  65. Yeah — pretty much the only reason I still go to work is so that i have a good excuse to NOT clean my house. “Dammit man I worked all day! Wash your own frisbee”

    Like

  66. I”m glad it’s not just me that promises blow jobs to my husband to get what I want…and then not deliver. 😉

    He falls for it every time.

    Like

  67. I ate over an old plastic bag today so that I wouldn’t have to clean a plate. I am fairly certain that this is a sign of creative genius. And success. And being really environmentally friendly, because it uses less water and reuses garbage.
    .-= schmutzie´s last blog ..The Curse Of The Smiley =-.

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  68. I am kind of afraid of and totally fascinated by the prospect of your book. Seriously. I think it is going to be full of the most fucking absurd illustrations I have ever been witness to. In the best way possible.

    I will be requiring that you autograph my frisbee.
    .-= flutter´s last blog ..He =-.

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  69. I love how this conversation went completely no where. Except that now you will have frisbees as plates. And something about Hitler.
    .-= LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..Moronic Monday: Dumbest. Criminal. Ever. =-.

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  70. and that is *exactly* why I’m not allowed to be the one that stays home.

    that and things like typing comments here.
    .-= harmzie´s last blog ..Roughing It =-.

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  71. Dude….Frisbeeware.

    I would totally give Hitler a blowjob…or is that not what we’re talking about?
    .-= dubiousMa´s last blog ..Wait Until Your Ass is The One Gasping For Air =-.

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  72. You are a famous bloggess AND you were killed with a cleaver this weekend. Does he think these things happen all by themselves? Cripes, nothing will please that man, will it? You’re a saint, Jenny. A saint!
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..New Diamond =-.

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  73. He lies down until the urge to kill passes, I lie down until the urge to clean passes. I’m less homicidal AND less lazy. All because I’m terrible at cleaning.

    Like

  74. Your husband sounds just like my botfriend.

    I tell him all the time that if he would make enough money to support the 3 of us, than I will stay home and do all the house work and he will never have to worry about a mess again. For some reason he never believes me. Probably because there is always a sink full of dishes when he gets home. But I make all the money so I really shouldn’t have to clean, right?
    .-= OhSweetSara´s last blog ..If Only I Could Afford A Roomba =-.

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  75. Why is Hitler talking to Princess Leia?

    Like

  76. OHMYGOD YOU’RE AN ANAL FREAK, TOO? I am SO GLAD we’re finally admitting it!

    Wait. Now I’m thinking you didn’t mean what I think you meant.

    Never mind. No anal freaks here. Anal freaks! Ha ha! That’s a funny thing to laugh at, because I am SO NOT ONE OF THOSE!
    .-= bejewell´s last blog ..I May Have No Soul, but I Make an Awesome Naughty Nurse when the Costume’s Clean =-.

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  77. Oh, just think of all the endless possibilities if we all used Frisbees as plates…
    .-= Just Shireen´s last blog ..What Are You? HE’S A VAMPIRE! DEAR GOD HE’S A VAMPIRE! =-.

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  78. This totally sounds like a scene from my life. Apparently I’m supposed to be productive too?? I mean WTF?! That gets in the way of doing important things like watching The Best of Michael Jackson DVD, and trying to learn how to do Thriller. I’m totally almost there…
    .-= The Undomesticated Housewife´s last blog ..All The Single Ladies =-.

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  79. New! Frisbee plates: the ULTIMATE dinnerware!

    Oh my god, i am really good at this stuff.
    .-= Stone Fox´s last blog ..Let’s See Your OCD =-.

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  80. Just tell Victor he’s lucking fucky that you didn’t stay home to become a cartoonist. Wow, did you notice, as you drew it, that your chickie in the cartoon has ginormous feet and Adolf Hitler / Charlie Chaplin / Oliver Hardy has little, tiny, petite almost invisible feet… and two fingers… and no hat?
    .-= mrsbitch´s last blog ..White House counter-punch. =-.

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  81. I often try to be funny on my blog. But I bow to you. You are my goddess.
    .-= N´s last blog ..Sometimes, I’m Serious =-.

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  82. frisbee plates are the best idea EVER. ever. unless you have a talented frisbee dog. then mealtimes could get really messy, with the dog doing backflips and flinging dinner all over everywhere.

    it would be so worth the mess though. and it would be HUGE on youtube.
    .-= dotlizard´s last blog ..perhaps i am the only one … =-.

    Like

  83. Okay. So I heard about you eons ago but for whatever reason, today was the first day I visited. So funny!
    .-= 180|360´s last blog ..Waiting on a moment =-.

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  84. why does the female stick figure look like a 1950’s sock hop dancer? is she wearing a poodle skirt?? LOL

    Like

  85. I really like the doodle. My favorite thing is the printing. The girl’s script is different than Hitler’s script. And the caption is really neatly done. Jenny either was a very conscientious student in Kindergarten through 3rd grade OR she spent four (or more) years getting a bachelor’s degree in elementary education. I definitely say that the doodle was at least a days worth of serious creative work. Artists should not be wasting time on cleaning and cooking.

    Like

  86. I knew a guy in grad school who only ate off Frisbees. It was all a part of his Grand Design.
    .-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..Russian Rooster Lollipops =-.

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  87. Well I laughed at your Hitler picture. And I’m totally feeding everyone from frisbees tomorrow. Genius.
    .-= Lady Mama´s last blog ..This is why I don’t sew… =-.

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  88. I want to see that Amelia Earhart movie.
    .-= Backpacking Dad´s last blog ..Food as a Disciplinary Tool: Redux =-.

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  89. Frisbees ARE FOR BEER. Everyone knows that. You can put an entire pitcher of beer in one frisbee. But in lieu of beer, food is an ok second use.
    .-= SupaCoo´s last blog ..If this seems to be rambling, let’s just blame the 5! different cold & flu meds I’ve had today (but not the hot brandy with honey) =-.

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  90. Frisbee. There is NO END to your genius. Seriously. And tell Victor the maid is coming. Once she stops screaming like I lit her hair on fire from being over at my hovel house trailer I’m sure by then your house, even smelling like clam chowder, will seem like the best job she’s ever had…EVER. Then you’ll have more time for booze and blow jobs and Chad Vader and all that being a blogging goddess entails…

    You and Victor are both welcome. It’s the least I could do for the comment on my blog. I’d offer you something more practical like a body part, but I think I’m falling apart faster than a K-Mart sweater, so not offering is much kinder. Again, you’re welcome.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Bowing to The Bloggess and My Not So Grey’s ER Visit =-.

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  91. i used to have the same conversations with David, but now he makes me have my side with my ‘inside voice’.
    .-= bea´s last blog ..Perspective always comes 24 hours later =-.

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  92. If you don’t blog tomorrow should we kill 911 and assume Victor killed you?

    Like

  93. Victor sounds like my partner. Only now, my partner is meant to be my carer and shit so I get to make him do all the housework while I write. Win/win.
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..The new floor. =-.

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  94. Hilariousness! Cleverness. Articulateness. Flowness. Extreme funniness. And humungous thankness, Ms Bloggess, for voting for my post in that Foozi Blogger Challenge malarkey. That cool soccer game IS going to my township kids!
    .-= Fred Hatman´s last blog ..Heart & Sole Tour rocks Cape Town and the Daisies… and everybody inbetween! =-.

    Like

  95. LOVE the “HATE = JEALOUS” Hitler cartoon. Somehow I know what/who that references. LMAO! You freakin’ rock!

    Like

  96. A frisbee plate really is a great idea. I kind of wish I had thought of that. I suck at inventions.

    Nice Hitler drawing, by the way. I think you really captured his essence in the moustache.
    .-= Natalie´s last blog ..An Amazing Discovery =-.

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  97. 100
    AprylsAntics

    Why can’t we just eat on the counter and squeegee it off when we’re done? Except for Manhattan clam chowder, of course, we would need frisbees for that.

    Like

  98. I made the exact same deal with The Hubster and to combat the sink (and house) from hell, I buy bags and bags of paper plates and plastic forks. Teehee!
    .-= Akilah Sakai´s last blog ..I’ve learned that in order for me to put ANYTHING coherent from pen to paper, I need to be sedated. =-.

    Like

  99. I wonder if Victor is still laying down…. Good stuff as always. I really think that you should just post conversions between you and Victor because seriously they are really fucking funny. It could be like an awesome screen play, that Matt Damon would kill to make into a movie. the movie would be about a math genius or in this case an art genius that eats off frisbees and has a non-working snowcone machine in her bedroom like some crazy rap artist, an instant classic to be sure.
    .-= Eric´s last blog ..BWCA re-cap… =-.

    Like

  100. I’ve got something for you over on my blog. That is, if you are able to wade through all your 102 comments on this post and actually find this one!
    .-= nanodance´s last blog ..I Freakin’ Love Scribbling!!! =-.

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  101. A Frisbee….for a plate??? Oh my god you just changed my life forever. Whenever we run out of plates, regular plates, I have to resort to trying to fit our whole dinner on those little tea plates (which always ends in a big mess) and Geoff tells me I’m ridiculous and lazy. But! He loves frisbees and has a lot of them so this will be perfect! When he tells me I’m being ridiculous and lazy I can tell him that NO actually I was just thinking of him and his love for frisbees and was trying to help him incorporate frisbees into every part of his life and isn’t he just ungrateful? Thank you.
    .-= Jen @ lifelove’n’wine´s last blog ..Pin the Pfft! on the Old Fart and other Maine Tales =-.

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  102. Tell Victor it could be worse.

    I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a real meal in the 14 years I’ve been married.

    I had to fucking Google the word ‘plate.’

    “Lunchables” come with their own little trays.

    Yay me.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Christopher Columbus Didn’t Leave Me Squat =-.

    Like

  103. Eva Braun had pigtails?
    .-= William´s last blog ..Family Snapshot =-.

    Like

  104. Husbands are inherently unfair. For example, my husband says it’s my responsibility to take care of the remains of the flaming bag of poo that appeared on my steps two nights ago just because I happened to request on twitter that someone leave a flaming bag of poo on my steps so that I’d have something to write about. I don’t see how the two things are related. My husband must love Hitler.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Holy Flaming Crap, I love whoever did this. =-.

    Like

  105. LOL! I’m with Andrea…when I think of frisbees I think of chew marks and dog slobber too. Ha!

    This was hilarious though……Blowjobs for everyone!!! 🙂
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..?Day One. =-.

    Like

  106. Ok….I just have to say that I absolutely LOVE your Hitler cartoon! Excellent doodling!

    Like

  107. So wait – he got mad about the frisbee thing? I would totally eat off a frisbee. You could do anything in a frisbee; even soup! The genius of it all… you should market it.
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..My Little Pony Review and Giveaway =-.

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  108. I believe I had the conversation that would eventually lead up to THIS conversation with my husband a few months back. I told him that I would clean the house everyday, take care of the kids, prepare dinner EVERY night, and give him at least a blowjob everyday, if now actual sex. Unfortunately, he didn’t fall for it. Probably because he forsaw THIS conversation happening soon after quitting my job. Thanks for ruining my chances, bloggess. 🙂
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..Again! Again, Mommy! =-.

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  109. My husband is a student. does one unit. (1/4) load. I work 4 days per week, he works 16 hrs per week. today he got angry because I hadn’t gone to the shop to by cigarettes. (We both smoke) i know just cos I was drinking a glass of wine today when he came home he thought i’d done Fu.k all however, there were two previous work days that he had NOTHING ON, when he must have realised that we were running low. do i feel bad Fu.k NO!

    (oh oh and on my day off from work i worked. also on my day off from work i strung up solar lights and sowed 30 different kinds of seed (all edible) so i can FEED us.

    they have no idea

    Like

  110. I see the need for Bloggess Frissbee dishware with matching jam jar glasses. I wouldn’t add a hitler theme to them, though, but they could be ‘the housewives dream collection’.
    .-= Charl Pearce´s last blog ..Give me a B..E..T..S..E..Y… =-.

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  111. I believe I had the conversation that would eventually lead up to THIS conversation with my husband a few months back. I told him that I would clean the house everyday, take care of the kids, prepare dinner EVERY night, and give him at least a blowjob everyday, if not actual sex. Unfortunately, he didn’t fall for it. Probably because he forsaw THIS conversation happening soon after quitting my job. Thanks for ruining my chances, bloggess. 🙂

    Like

  112. Did you know you can fit 4 cans of beer into one frisbee? Frisbees also make wonderful jello shot holders….Just in case you feel like seriously pursuing using frisbees as plates/cups/bowls I thought that you should know the full extent of there awesomeness!

    Like

  113. Baaahahaha! Funniest thing I have read in a LONG time. Would you and your husband like to go to dinner because I could really use the entertainment. No? I’ll pay!
    .-= Nel´s last blog ..Way more than you ever wanted to know about Belle and I….or Me and Belle. =-.

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  114. I can’t believe that I never thought of the Frisbee plate before… I am jealous.
    .-= ARG´s last blog ..THIS IS WHY I NEVER GO OUT =-.

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  115. You should make promotional Bloggess frisbee/plates. Then Victor can’t complain because they’re *promotional*.

    Like

  116. Not sure about eating off a Frisbee–though I have no aesthetic or health-related objections–but my second-oldest son recently informed me that Frisbees are excellent for drinking beer. He’s on the Ultimate Frisbee team at college where their Sunday afternoon practices are SD (Sobriety Discouraged) and they’ve discovered you can fit five beers in a Frisbee though the only reason five fit is because “it sticks to the rim” (he’s majoring in physics so that’s obviously a technical explanation). He says four beers are a much better fit. Ultimate Frisbee indeed.
    .-= Masked Mom´s last blog ..Biopsy Performed By That Dude From The Frat House Down The Street =-.

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  117. The cartoon is super funny. I also agree that you should make commemorative Bloggess Frisbee Plates. They could be collectible like those freaky Elvis plates my grandmother used to have but less creepy. Hopefully.
    .-= Vikki´s last blog ..Bear with me =-.

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  118. I think you should go on that Sharktank show with your amazing new Frisbee Plates.
    .-= Candy´s last blog ..Yeah, nothing. =-.

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  119. Another thing you can do? Ear with toothpicks! My kids loooove to eat one bean at a time if they can stab it with a toothpick. Meatballs are fun too. A visionary. You rock!
    .-= Martie´s last blog ..Oral: A Gift That’s Good To Receive AND Give… =-.

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  120. EAT with a toothpick–do NOT, I repeat, do NOT stab your EAR with a toothpick. Ouch. and Ow ow ow.
    .-= Martie´s last blog ..Oral: A Gift That’s Good To Receive AND Give… =-.

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  121. first of all, i LOVE the idea of frisbees for plates. you are brilliant, i guess.
    and the whole hitler thing. i dunno. dude, so not funny. but your drawings are cute. love the little scarf on the stick figure.
    as for your husband. just do what i do when my husband asks what i’ve done all day. ignore him. then maybe give him a blow job. he won’t bother you for a couple of days.
    ok, just sayin.
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..Maybe It’s Just The Weather =-.

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  122. shit. I hope my husband doesn’t read this… that is TOTALLY the deal I am trying to make with him.

    best. doodle. ever.
    .-= girlvaughn´s last blog ..Humble you are not =-.

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  123. don’t they realize how much time and energy takes to be a creative mind? Who has time leftover for things like keeping a house clean…and washing dishes? I hear it all the time but the fact is, he does a better job cleaning. I just get distracted by my totally visionary and revolutionary thoughts!
    .-= jenn murphy´s last blog ..squash soup =-.

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  124. Thank you so much for introducing frisbees as dinner plates! What a fabulous idea, especially for the little ones. They are going to throw the plate on the floor anyway and now it won’t break! Brilliant I say. I thought your post was quite funny and Victor needs to sharpen his sense of humor.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

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  125. Dude! We actually recommend frisbees as plates for our Boy Scouts! Eat lunch on it, then use it for an after-lunch game. Less weight to carry and it has a better chance of getting washed. Because, seriously, who wants to play with a dirty frisbee?

    Like

  126. I’m quitting my job immediately to design a complete line of fine dining frisbees. Millions of forward-thinking couples will be registering their patterns at Sports Authority. You really are changing the world, one fucked up idea at a time.

    Like

  127. Not a lot of Jewish people in Texas are there?

    Like

  128. Hahahahah the scarf is awesome. It’s like bow-tie sized. And I may or may not have come up with a brilliant business idea yesterday, before you wrote this, about designing frisbee plates. I wish…
    .-= Belle´s last blog ..Way more than you ever wanted to know about Belle and I….or Me and Belle. =-.

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  129. BTW, using a plate as a Frisbee works, too. Just don’t try it with Victor’s family heirloom china. ‘K?

    ~EdT.
    .-= EdT.´s last blog ..A terrible tragedy. Wordlessness ensues. =-.

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  130. I couldn’t even concentrate on what Hitler was saying because I was so enthralled with a stick figure wearing a neck scarf. I cannot believe Victor doesn’t see the pure genius in that. If he loved you, he’d spring for paper plates.
    .-= Penne´s last blog ..I am pretty sure Aveda has a crush on me. =-.

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  131. I need to send my sister over to your house. I had to finally call someone to come clean my house because I was out of clean dishes, clothes and too damn tired to clean anything myself! I still manage to get to work every day (unbelievably so) I get home tired, hungry and feeling like shit, just to find that my house is still a wreck. Lupus gets in the way of everything…so Victor should just do all of you a favor and call someone to come clean the house for you because after all, even if you are at home working, you’re still working, right?! I only paid my sister $60 and she did a damn good job!
    .-= Violet´s last blog ..Bad Days and Good Days =-.

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  132. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: the easiest way to clean the kitchen is to throw out all the dirty dishes and just buy paper plates. GENIUS.
    .-= Violet´s last blog ..Bad Days and Good Days =-.

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  133. It is an excellent scarf on the stick figure girl. (Ralph Lauren would be proud. Although, she may be a little hefty for his taste.) I think it was time well spent.
    .-= Brutalism´s last blog ..The Birthday Post =-.

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  134. Frisbee plates – what a great idea. Then after we are finished eating, we’ll just toss them off the deck and I won’t ever have to wash another plate again. Brilliant. Do you think frisbee knives would work?
    .-= Mountain Momma´s last blog ..Best Worst Gift Ever =-.

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  135. I think you should try out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Then Victor wouldn’t have time to think about the house because he would just be running around with a hard on after a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.
    .-= Vennie´s last blog ..Twelve Signs of Your Awakening Divinity =-.

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  136. Just keep in mind that even if you use frisbees for plates they still have to be cleaned too. This is why I use paper plates as frisbees. My dog is just going to chew the shit out of it instead of bringing it back anyway. The fucker.

    Like

  137. There’s something wrong about eating off frisbees? Hell, that’s what Home Depot gave me to eat off of at their frickin green event. And yes it was plastic. Well at least the frisbee was green…in color.
    .-= Screwed Up Texan´s last blog ..Entering a Whole ‘Nother World =-.

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  138. 1. I had clam chowder for dinner yesterday too. But I wasn’t as remotely as productive as you were. Probably because my microwave was clean. Duly noted.
    2. IF Victor also works from home, why are you the one expected to do all the cleaning stuff?
    3. Frisbees as plates are a big part of this famous chain restaurant down in North Carolina. Was it called Dirty Dicks Crab or something? “I’ve got ma crabs at Dirty Dick’s” I believe is their tagline.
    4. “Reuse” to save earth. Tell Victor, “Earth first!” He is probably an earth hater.
    5. The cartoon is great. I am falling in love with the girl in a scarf and poodle skirt.
    6. LOL @ your Hitler joke.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Tis almost Halloween. Do you know where your costume is? Let Zoltar inspire you… =-.

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  139. This is why I come here….you make me laugh out loud, so much so that my family thinks I’m nuts cracking up at a computer screen. And you have similar conversations with your husband – only you tell it much better than I could! You ARE a visionary!
    .-= Jane´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – First Fishing Trip =-.

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  140. It’s true about anti-Semites having bad senses of humor, I mean look how humorless Hitler was. See now I’m probably going to Hell for that joke. I hope you are happy about sending me to Hell. I’m sure it was exactly the point of this post, then again I make everything about me so I’m pretty sure the stick figure girl in your drawing is me going to a sock hop ala Betty Sue Got Married. Alright I’m going to stop writing now…before I really say something stupid.
    .-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Ralph Lauren Model Fired For Being Too Fat =-.

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  141. I just had to de-lurk because this made me laugh like a complete idiot. (I will be forced to blame you if anyone complains. My apologies.)
    .-= Mrs Chaos´s last blog ..Overwhelmed…But Plugging Along =-.

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  142. Wait…do people NOT eat off of frisbees? I thought everyone did that…(slowly lowering my frisbee of rice and chicken.) Damnit.
    Anyway, you are amazing and hilarious and screwed up in the most awesome ways. You are totally my blog heroine (both the female hero and the drug. You’re totally a 2-for-1. A 2-fer. Awesome!) so I wanted to give you another award. Hopefully, this time you can figure out my website lol
    Check out your award at http://whatswrongwithmommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/yay-i-got-me-award-j-lovely-mrs.html
    .-= Jeniel´s last blog ..I Feel So Loved! =-.

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  143. Frisbee plates rock. I used one for a plate when I went camping. Totally normal.

    Love the pic of Victor and the bebe. Very cute. Both of them. Well, she’s actually cuter than him but its cute that he’s fishing with her.
    .-= peedee´s last blog ..NSFW – OMG =-.

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  144. Just wondering Jenny, how is Victor’s spork injuries doing? Everything healing ok? When he starts a blog of his own you’ll rue the day you sporked him I reckon.
    .-= Mark 2100´s last blog ..My Little Army of Informers =-.

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  145. The “I Love Jenny” posts are the best.
    .-= Aimee Greeblemonkey´s last blog ..Sam the (Non)Wiggle =-.

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  146. i bargained blow jobs for a year in order to get a vacation, i never made good either. my husband fell for it too!
    .-= dina´s last blog ..Aromas of Autumn =-.

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  147. I know I’m late commenting, but I’ve only just found your blog.
    Loved your conversation. Sounds just like me and my hubby.

    Like

  148. Totally got the ‘toon! And your drawing is adorable, too.

    You know, I’ve been working from home for a couple of weeks now and my house still looks like crap. It would just feel weird to be cleaning my house when I’m getting paid to work from home. Oh, I’ve done a few things here and there, but on my time not my employers’.

    Still it would be totally awesome to get paid for cleaning my own house!
    .-= tokenblogger´s last blog ..Barking Lily! =-.

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  149. 152
    EveEnsler'sTwat

    Anti Semitism coupled with AntiFrisbeeism = AntiHealthCareReform.
    ( I have been following C-Span very closely lately)

    You shouldn’t take this shit from Victor. Get him to change his name to Loser.

    . . . . that should do it.

    Like

  150. I freaking love to Chad Vader. Time well spent. 😉
    .-= @marymac´s last blog ..Green Vegan Queen =-.

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  151. All my bloggy friends keep talking about the amazing Bloggess, but I’ve never been here before today. I don’t know why. I’m glad I finally got off my lazy ass and strolled over. I’m only jealous of Hitler because he’s going to be famous, like, forever — long after everyone’s forgotten about Oprah even.
    .-= XUP´s last blog ..Cosmic Birthday =-.

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  152. Here I was, thinking I wasted all morning trying to get “mandatory sex party” to go viral because you made me get addicted to http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ and she made me do it, and then I checked some blogs, and then I looked at Twitter, and I stopped in at Facebook to see what my homies were up to and maybe some coworkers and a couple people I met in the park a few years ago before we moved across the country and our mailman, and then I made a mocha and checked on some blogs I had already read, and then I looked at your blog roll. That’s when I realized I don’t have a problem and I started to feel better about how I spent my morning. Do you really read all those blogs? You don’t have time to clean the house. Hire a maid, damn it.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Mandatory Sex Party =-.

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  153. If Hitler wasn’t trying to be funny, the Groucho mustache was really inappropriate.
    .-= Jacquie´s last blog ..the tao of brady =-.

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  154. And you know who doesn’t like Frisbees? HITLER.
    .-= Birdie´s last blog ..Gothic Guy: Edgar Allan Poe =-.

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  155. This morning at work, someone tried to throw a chair at my head (I think they hate me because they’re jealous of my Hitler moustache). Then I spent all afternoon in the hospital with my son and his unusual genitalia. When I got home I discovered you had visited my blog. Thanks. It was a bright spot in my otherwise unpleasant day……….

    Like

  156. If we were neighbors we could toss frisbees over the fence to each other, which would be a neighborly way of sharing dishes. I also think that we would be widows because our husbands would lose it. Sometimes I cry when I read your blog b/c we are soul sisters. Awesome!

    Like

  157. Oh my god, I need a moment to stop laughing – that was awesome! Frisbee as a plate? Ingenious! And if you have a dog you can simply take the frisbee and the leftovers outside and wham bang thankyou ma’am it becomes an instant game PLUS dinner! Or am I overthinking this?
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..10 Things I Hate About Dress Shopping =-.

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  158. Wait. So my Mom was lying. And nobody was really jealous of me… they just thought I’d assassinate them for the Fatherland…

    Shit. That changes everything.
    .-= TxtingMrDarcy´s last blog ..She Said It Better =-.

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  159. I only read through about half the comments so forgive me if someone later mentioned this, but I was shocked when missing in the comments was this question? Why the hell doesn’t HE clean the house? Why is it only your responsibility? Doesn’t he live there too? This really steamed me up.

    Like

  160. Oh, and before you answer that you made some kind of lame promise to be the best housewife if you quit your job that STILL does not mean that you should be the only one to clean house. Everyone who lives there should be part of that endless, thankless, Sisyphean task no matter who works where. So, if everyone had been doing their part your house wouldn’t be wrecked now would it? I just hate when all the guilt for the state of the house is put on the woman. HATE IT!

    He who bitches about the state of the house better be loading the dishwasher as they bitch. Otherwise the effing war is ON. Sorry for the rant but this subject really gets to me quick.

    Like

  161. That drawing is actually very intelligent with it’s subliminal message. It’s like Da Vinci, totally. Heck, at LEAST Picaso.
    .-= Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..Mr. Valentine has been pushing me to start anti-depressants. But I’m like, no dude, they make me WAY too tired. =-.

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  162. And ummm, I’m not trying to start trouble or anything, but I just checked out the pic of Victor, and it looks to me like he may be Sense of Humor Intolerant. They don’t have help like Lact-aid for that, so you’re set for blog material forever… Annnndddd, bonus! If you ever draw a Hitler mustache on Victor with a Sharpie pen, to teach him an Anti-Semitic lesson; you both work from home, so it’d be cool. At least that’s what I’d tell myself if I were you. (if he really flipped out about it, you could always add a Vincent Van Gogh beard to SAVE FACE) Sorry, I am so channeling my father’s sense of humor tonight.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Hey Today Show and Neiman Marcus, Kiss My Po’ A** =-.

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  163. Ah, Grasshopper, the trick is to always have at least enough clean dishware and flatware to make it appear that all the dishware and flatware is being cleaned regularly and to keep the counter tops relatively clear. Illusion is the key to housewife success. It’s the appearance. Not the reality.

    Also, having allergies is good because then you really can’t handle cleaning products (even the green ones) and he has to do the yukky bathroom stuff, so that horror is never your fault.
    .-= annie´s last blog ..Mommy Wars: This is Why Women aren’t Equal =-.

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  164. ok seriously, how the fuck do you come up with this stuff? Too funny. I think frisbee plates should be the new must-have on wedding registries. Great for kids too and could make for a good game to get them to finish their meal. First to finish gets to throw their “plate” on the floor or across the room!
    Oh and by the way, I’m Jewish and think your hitler joke is hilarious.
    .-= becca´s last blog ..Thanks for listening =-.

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  165. My proudest moment as a mother came from my son’s weird fascination with Hitler (photographic proof: http://is.gd/4mK1Y). I don’t know where he gets it. My boyfriend says it’s because we hate Jews and have swastika-themed Christmas trees, but you know kids, it could be anything.
    .-= Snotty McSnotterson´s last blog ..Lucky Pants =-.

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  166. I’m no fan of housework (even though technically it has become my job), but let’s be honest you can dishes only so many times before the novelty wears thin.

    I love your frisbee plate idea 🙂
    .-= Lea White´s last blog ..What a tough week! =-.

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  167. That cartoon is hilarious.

    Victor obviously hates the color blue.
    .-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..Communicating After Counseling =-.

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  168. So, first of I bow to your humour…no one gets “the pragmatic thinker”..I think you’re a hoot!! 2nd, the blowjob for life deals are always a common deal that men can’t resist, but really, women must have been drunk while making that deal..because let’s face it…what is in that for us???? we dont get our faces all dolled up to look like a friggen mime after a fun night of “lick the lollypop” and really, if I wanted puffy lips I would go a la angelina and get collagin injections…not ___! Lastly, I have also neglected the matronly duties as I was off work for a month because of the end of my mat leave for kid #3 in 4 years and I had my tubes tied…stupid me for not keeping my end of the deal up; so what do i do for payback???? i ‘ll tell you what i did…i dressed up my kids as dishwashers from a restauant (it helps that hubby is a chef and we have the uniforms) and sent them to work…he asked me ifI had the kids on ebay but that just lead to another issue on its own!! keep up the entertainment…
    .-= Danon Pascoa´s last blog ..ExHotGirl are you Hailey Mills twin? =-.

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  169. You should so start your own housewares company. You could be like Martha Stewart but like better since you have a sense of humor. Frisbee plates…frickin’ genius!
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Adventures on a Cold Wet Day =-.

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  170. Sounds like Victor is jealous…
    .-= gingela5´s last blog ..I’ve Mastered the Astaire… =-.

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  171. I totally need to try frisbees…I am the same way and what I tell my husband is “I wasn’t fucking Betty Crocker when you married me, so what makes you think I would be fucking Betty Crocker now?” Um…I do not mean fucking (as in the action) Betty Crocker but like I’m fucking Betty Crocker. Okay I guess you’d have to be here to hear me say it because it still doesn’t sound right. I think you know what I mean though…I’m not into fucking imaginary chicks…not that there is anything wrong with that. Although, was Betty Crocker a real person? hmmmm. Anyway, I have a present for you on my blog…hop on over to grab it. I’m not fucking Little Miss Suzie Homemaker either.
    .-= Grace Matthews´s last blog ..I Do Declare! =-.

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  172. There’s a very logical solution to this problem. Just give your husband that free blow job you promised, and he’ll forget everything. Even the frisbee thing. And the hitler thing. Promise.
    .-= Hippo Brigade´s last blog ..These things I know. =-.

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  173. Okay, Your Bloggessness, Oh Bloggy One… Jenny.
    Okay, Jenny.

    I don’t really have time to read the other 174 comments that went before me, but did you point out to Victor that he lives and works in the same house as you and is completely capable of using the mop as well? Maybe it didn’t occur to him that working at home is WORK just at home. 🙂

    Anyway, also, I totally think you should check this out because it’s AWESOME. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c&feature It’s about Clitter!

    I also was very touched by your blog about your anxiety. If I were lucky enough to go out to a restaurant with you, I would want to have your special rolling computer chair nearby so that when the fog surrounded you and started choking off your breath I could throw you on the chair thingy and we would roll away to freedom, my friend. Let any bitches stare ’cause we’d totally bust through the restaurant doors on our way to wherever the fuck we wanted. Cause you’re that cool.

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  174. you aren’t supposed to eat off frisbees?
    .-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..Specifics. =-.

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  175. OMG-this is almost the same argument hubby and I had in the car the other day….
    I still let the housework fall by the wayside ,though……..
    .-= Connie´s last blog ..MY TAG was picked for the cover page for the month of October =-.

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  176. love it! victor really needs to cut you some slack. a woman should not blamed for her ingenuity! 🙂
    .-= anna see´s last blog ..Not Ready for My Close Up =-.

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  177. I bow to the genius that is The Bloggess. Have you considered a career as an artist? Artists make a lot of money. Just ask Vincent Van Gogh, Picasso, etc. Well, except they are dead. But I think they are smiling down on you from Artist Heaven.
    .-= lorrie´s last blog ..Might As Well Jump =-.

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  178. Obviously Victor was never a frat boy or he would see the genius behind frisbee plates. Sit down to a nice meal from the microwave (Not homecooked or anything because you are social media mavin DAMMIT!) and then you are ready for a quick game of ultimate frisbee. We need to work on Victor’s creative vision.

    Like

  179. Frisbee plates are an awesome idea! Plus, they give them away for free at many blogging events. Which reminds me I don’t see a disclaimer on this post as to where you got that Frisbee. Was it free? I think you may be in trouble.
    .-= sweatpantsmom´s last blog ..An Open Letter to the Los Angeles Unified School District =-.

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  180. Hate to break it to you, but camping types have been eating off frisbees for, like, decades. I’m not sure if my husband ate off anything else for about five years in his 20s.

    I’m definitely using your “creative haven” line soon! Thanks!
    .-= Edgy Mama´s last blog ..Area parenting events on my page =-.

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  181. I am sure that my husband and I have had that conversation. Except without being as witty. Also, Frisbee plates really do make perfect sense. Why aren’t they at Target?

    Like

  182. It sounds to me like Victor’s just jealous!
    .-= MaNiC MoMMy´s last blog ..DiVa HeaRTS =-.

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  183. I’m drinking wine out of a Mo’ Money Tax Returns cup. I broke all of our wine glasses. Kind of leaves me with no viable defense when the husband says I get drunk and break things.
    .-= Crystal McKee´s last blog ..He’s The Blonde In Our Relationship =-.

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  184. […] be the first to admit that sometimes I just don’t get The Bloggess, but I absolutely ADORED this post about her messy house.  Hilarious […]

    Like

  185. wew… not me… just another person jealous f him..
    lol.. really love it.. 🙂
    .-= Sheva´s last blog ..Saw Shark, Rare Animal Of Sentani Lake =-.

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  186. LOLZ at the picture. V true. I’m sure hitler had that exact conversation with some tart wearing a scarf, but no shirt!!!

    Like

  187. I am SO over cleaning the house…

    Like

  188. I had to send this to my husband because this is exactly the kind of stuff that happens in our house. The frisbee plate, the bad stick figure drawing, the urge to kill one another. Yep. Feels like home.

    Lee
    🙂
    .-= LeeChrista´s last blog ..Sweet Tomatoes/SouPlantation crEATe Recipe Contest! =-.

    Like

  189. OMG, I love this blog!! I think your Hilter cartoon is funny 🙂
    .-= Tatyana´s last blog ..Public Option’s Back In! =-.

    Like

  190. […] Skynd dig over til The Bloggess. For the love of God. Læs også hende konge-post om blandt andet en upassende Hitler-joke her. […]

    Like

  191. I totally think the whole Frisbee as plate thing is genius…

    Like

  192. is this?! “Social Media stuff” that’s a fucking dumb expression for “I’m a lazy fuck who dunno how to work a real job, so i pretend to be doing something important by blogging” you are a fucking idiot

    Like

  193. 196
    Lady Penelope

    “I’m going to lie down until the urge to kill you passes.”

    Hil-ar-rious!

    P.S. Cartoon is cool – no drawing lessons required 🙂

    Like

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