I don’t think I’ve ever done this before on this blog and I hope that I never have to do it again but I’m asking for your help. If you read this blog a lot then you already know Anissa Mayhew because she’s a regular commenter. She’s a blogger, a reader and a faithful friend. More than once Anissa has had my back during rough times. She’s a founding member of The Bloggess Army (codename: Kaiser Soze). She’s publicly defended me more than once…mostly from myself. She’s hysterical and witty and bitingly sarcastic and now she’s struggling to survive after having a massive stroke. She’s younger than me. She has three young children. One of those children is Peyton, a beautiful and sunshiney childhood cancer survivor. This isn’t Anissa’s first stroke. Her first left her with struggles that she turned into inappropriate jokes that made me laugh and cry at the same time. She’s good at that, dammit. So why is she getting so much shit dumped on her in her life? I keep asking myself that. Probably she peed on a shrine or accidentally murdered a Saint in a former life. It’s hard to tell with Anissa. But what I do know is that once she fought for me, and today I’m going to do my best to do it for her, even if she’s not really conscious enough to know it. They don’t know if Anissa will survive this but she’s strong as hell and I can only assume that a part of her brain heard the doctors give her such low odds and was all “Fuck you, asshole.” And I second that. “Fuck you, asshole.” Because one of the only things I can do here is to curse at the world. The other thing I can do is pray and honestly, I’m shitty at that and I don’t even know if God is taking my calls because I called him a zombie once but I’m trying, dammit. You should try too, non-Athiests who haven’t offended God. Hell, you athiests try too. It’s not like you have anything to lose for fuck’s sake. And there’s one more thing you can do. Donate. Even if it’s just $3 for a Happy Meal. Don’t have any money? I understand completely. See that ad thingy on the right that says something like “Youdata – You should have been paid to look at this, dumbass”? That’s an ad network that pays you directly if you sign up to watch ads. If you don’t look at them nothing happens…I don’t get paid and neither do you. If you do sign up to see ads it’ll pay you if you click on them and there’s a slider on the top that’s defaulted to give me half. Sign up and slide the slider over so it gives me nothing and gives you everything. Put it all in your paypal account and then send it over to Anissa using the link below. It’ll take less than 15 minutes and I personally made $5 watching ads myself the first time I signed in. If everyone reading today donated $5 we could make her thousands of dollars in one day just by clicking on a few minutes of ads. You don’t even have to do it from this site. You can go directly to the Youdata site and watch there. Plus, I’m good friends with the people who own it because they’re from my home town so I can vouch for their honesty and they never spam. Or you can skip all that and just donate money directly at this link. Or you can send her family gift cards for restaurants. Her PO address and a list of local restaurants is here.
Also, if you came here looking for comedy just skip down to the next post. You insensitive bastard.
PS? Thanks, you guys.
PPS. If you think Anissa would be offended by this post then you don’t know Anissa. She’d laugh her ass off at it and roll her eyes at the treacly parts and probably call me a douche-canoe. And that’s why she has to get better. Wake up, Anissa.
PPPS. You can keep up with Anissa’s progress at Hope4Peyton.org.
Comment of the day: I don’t know Anissa but honestly I can’t NOT hear about her. She is everywhere. On Twitter. On blogs. EVERYWHERE. She must be special if so many people love her. ~ JenniferG