My sister, Lisa, just called to tell me that our great aunt Ollene just died and we decided to go in together on a flower arrangement and so I ordered it online from the florist across the street from the funeral home and it was very nice because their website basically pre-populates all the funeral home info since that’s where they do most of their business but then the end of the form left me a little baffled:
Huh. Do I want you to remind me of my dead aunt’s death again next year? Well, of course I do. Why wouldn’t I want you to bring up this painful event with an annual “Hey-your-aunt-is-still-dead” reminder? Who would turn that down? Nobody, I bet.
Also, my Aunt Ollene was awesomely funny and every Christmas she would give my sister and I enormous granny-panties and a roll of nickels. Every year. For like 20 years. And the underpants were so big that Lisa and I used to pull them up to our armpits and pretend they were strapless leotards. Also, I’m fairly sure that the nickels were given to us ironically because it’s not like this was back in the olden days when people really liked nickels. I don’t actually remember a time when people wanted nickels. I’m not actually that old. Also, this post is rambling and makes no sense. Probably because I’m grieving. Stop judging me.
PS. Hang on. I bet that reminder thing is probably for when someone you don’t actually like dies. Then you can have a happy reminder once a year that whoever you never liked is still dead. Unless he was really just in a deep coma and comes out of it during the funeral and he’s pissed off that you didn’t pick out a nice enough casket for him and he storms out and disowns you and now you have to pay for a funeral that no one actually enjoyed. Then it’s just a painful reminder for everyone involved.
Comment of the day: At my great aunt’s funeral (right her in San Angelo at Johnson’s Funeral Home on Beauregard Ave, no less) I sent a flower arrangement with the words “Aunt Fay” on a banner on it. During the funeral, I noticed that the banner read “a nut Fay” instead of aunt. By the end of the funeral the entire 2 front rows of family members where silently trying not to laugh. I wonder if we used the same florist, because I’m thinking this is a florist with a warped sense of humor. I guess that’s not always a bad qualily in a florist. ~ Missy