The Shorty Awards hate ponies

Okay, remember three weeks ago when a twitter award contest banned me and peed on the Constitution and then I became the Czar of Martindale Texas and then I found out that I reported to cat that lives at city hall?  If not you should go back and read the summary or just skip this post altogether because last week the Shorty Awards graciously offered me tickets to go see someone else win the award that I was robbed of. Which is both mildly insulting and also kind of brilliantly hysterical.  I salute you, Shorty Awards.  Unfortunately I’m not going to be able to make it to the Shorty Awards because the committee is now refusing to respond to me.  Our actual emails from last week beginning with their email to me:

Hi Jenny a.k.a. Czar of Nothingness,

We’d like to offer you two tickets to the Shorty Awards ceremony on March 3 in New York City. Please let us know if you’re able to attend. We look forward to meeting you in person.

Sincerely,

The Shorty Awards Team

My response:

Hmmm…it actually does sound tempting.

Can I bring my boss,  C.C., as my date?  Would she have to bring her own litter box or would you be providing one?  Also, she has a problem with bald people so it’s very important that we not be seated near any or she will totally fuck them up.  Seriously.  I haven’t seen it personally but I’ve heard stories.  I assume she probably got kicked by a bald person once and it just stuck with her.    It would actually be ideal if you could ban any bald people altogether or maybe just pass out wigs at the door.  Also C.C. must be accompanied by her secret service people.  They don’t need seats though.  They can just stand in the back.  Also, what type of weapons are legal to carry in New York because they usually just use rifles and we don’t have a lot of time to retrain them if they need to bring less obvious weapons to the ceremony.  Sorry to be such a pain.  There are snipers everywhere.

Hugs,

Jenny, Super Important Government Dignitary

Their response:

This could be a problem. Our executive producer is completely bald.

~ The Shorty Awards Team

My response:

Ooh, okay, that really *is* a problem.

Also, CC seems really hesitant to leave city hall so instead I’m thinking she should send a stand-in.  My parents have a pony I can borrow.  It’s a small pony but she can’t really sit so I’ll need to be in the handicapped row so that she can stand.  Unless your executive producer is also allergic to ponies. Then I’m going to assume you’re just fucking with me.  Also, you didn’t answer my question about the guns.  How many guns can we bring?

PS.  The pony cannot walk up stairs.  Do I need to bring my own ramps or will they be provided?

That was 5 days ago and so far, no response.  Because the Shorty Awards hate ponies.  You know who else hates ponies?  No one.  Everyone loves ponies. Even Hitler loved ponies.  Probably.  The point is that the Shorty Awards are obviously robots who plan to enslave the world and who haven’t been taught how to love ponies yet.  Nice try, robots.  I would never go to your award show.

PS.  I just want to clarify that C.C. is actually fine with bald people.  I just threw the you-shouldmake-everyone-wear-wigs thing in there the same way that rock stars always ask for a bowl of green m&m’s backstage.  They don’t actually eat the green m&m’s.  They just use that as a barometer to see if people are paying attention to all the ridiculous clauses in their contracts.  If they don’t see the green m&m’s then they know that they’re not being taken seriously and that the albino hooker they asked for is probably just really, really pale.

UPDATED: In the interest of science I googled “Did Hitler have a pony?” and found no record of Hitler ever having a pony.  Which is probably what made him go all batshit-crazy and kill everyone.  Lack of ponies. Also, he was possibly missing a ball.  According to Google suggestions.  Who really just need to quit it.

Just stop it, Google. Also? Hitler would be like 120 years old now so yeah, I'm fairly sure he's really dead. Hitler was an asshole...not a vampire.

Comment of the day (non-ironically chosen by popular vote):

Ponies, like dolphins, are secretly more intelligent than humans. Unlike dolphins they secretly manipulate world political events.

Who rigged the 2000 Presidential Election? PONIES.

Who canceled Star Trek? PONIES.

Who killed Kennedy? A SECOND PONY ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!

Never turn your back on a pony. They will so stab you. ~ The Great Joe Bivins

92 replies. read them below or add one

  1. The executive producer is probably a pony who doesn’t want to share the attention.

    Like

  2. Are you sure Hitler wasn’t a vampire? (Or “isn’t” a vampire?) Because that would explain a lot.
    .-= Lori´s last blog ..Ozark Pupdate =-.

    Like

  3. Hitler was a wolverine. The mustache gives it away, obviously. That, and his cackle. And his one ball. Do wolverines even have balls? I think they do.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Family Night =-.

    Like

  4. if they provide you ramps, are you still not going?

    can I go instead?? I guess I could find a pony, or steal one.

    Like

  5. And I forgot to say that I am pretty sure Hitler did not have a pony. My dad fought in WWII, and he told me the Poles (of which my dad was one) had all the ponies, which is why they were taken over in only 11 days.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Family Night =-.

    Like

  6. The M&M’s thing? That was Van Halen’s way of catching promoters who wouldn’t read the band’s contract rider. They were actually asked to remove all the brown ones. And I know this, because I know way too much about Van Halen.

    Also? Van Halen fucking LOVES ponies. Just like everyone else. Every except the Shorty Awards people. Assholes.
    .-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..Shhhhhhhh. =-.

    Like

  7. *EveryONE except the Shorty Awards people.
    Christ, I hate typos. And having OCD. I hate that, too.
    .-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..Shhhhhhhh. =-.

    Like

  8. Google’s been filling in some weird things for me too these days. I wonder if I’m getting up in my sleep to google strange questions…

    Like

  9. Hey, Daddy Scratches, you’re blaming the urge to correct your typo on OCD? That’s waaay cooler than just being anal. Which is how, up till now, I’ve been explaining myself. Ups to you!
    .-= Pam´s last blog ..Pathe-tic News =-.

    Like

  10. You’re officially my favourite politicians. None of the others have dared to take a strong pro-hair position yet. Some of them are even bald themselves. I know.

    Like

  11. Perhaps your pony would be taken more seriously if it was requesting an albino hooker.
    .-= Stefanie´s last blog ..someone needs a time out =-.

    Like

  12. Ponies happen. Don’t go getting all excited. I already called dibs on that band name.
    .-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Pterodactlys, Apologies, and Weddings =-.

    Like

  13. wait DID hitler have one testicle. because my son has one too. and i should see about an implant if that’s the case.
    .-= tara´s last blog ..Shit I Don’t Want for Valentine’s Day: Shit =-.

    Like

  14. I love ponies. I don’t love pony shit.

    Truth.
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Twelve Months =-.

    Like

  15. It took them this long to figure out not to respond to you? Wow those Shorty Awards people are dumb.
    .-= The Great Joe Bivins´s last blog ..PITCHER: Unpopular and Undead =-.

    Like

  16. i think that you should move on to the next awards ceremony that you could potentially win/disqualify.

    aren’t the oscar’s pretty soon? i have a feeling you could mos def compete in the “best documentary- short subject” category.

    and then you can post about how the academy hates ponies.
    .-= Joy (www.freckletree.com)´s last blog ..black and white wednesday: i used to get drunk and play with my friends. now i just get drunk. =-.

    Like

  17. I thought Hitler invaded Poland specifically because he was jealous of their prolific pony prides?

    Points for alliteration, I win.

    Shorty awards LOSE! I hope they all go bald. Or that Poland’s prolific pony prides pry their hair out. Then they’ll be bald!

    (I win the alliteration prize again.)

    Like

  18. I had a horse that tried to break my foot…does that count. Also I can totally go to NYC on the third of March and storm the shorties if you want. Say the word…just say the word.
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..WTF Wednesay: The Graffiti Continues =-.

    Like

  19. Hitler sucked…

    wait a minute??? Maybe he is a vampire!
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..WTF Wednesay: The Graffiti Continues =-.

    Like

  20. I want M&Ms.
    .-= Robynn´s last blog ..And so, I had Botox… =-.

    Like

  21. I thought the John Mayer Playboy interview was f-ed up until I read this. You win.

    Like

  22. Jenny, everyone knows that celebrity cats don’t have regular secret service people. They obviously use walruses that poke peoples eyes out with their tusks. But only people with mustaches. Unless they have the Tom Selleck stache. Then it’s ok.
    .-= Stephanie L´s last blog ..Dear Yawn =-.

    Like

  23. I heard that Hitler loved ponies…so much so that he ate them. And they were talking ponies…well they couldn’t talk but they could spell! And he or someone else in that general area ate them. My husband tells me I need to let the whole LIpizzaner stallion thing go. It just disturbs me deeply. I tried to find a link to the story that during World War II an American reporter came across a group of horses that could spell and answer questions and at one point told him they would talk but their vocal cords weren’t formed correctly but I could not find one but I know I read that. I did a report on the paranormal for my senior research paper and that was one of the stories I researched and it totally messed me up when at the end of the story it said the horses disappeared and were assumed eaten. That is just so wrong.
    .-= lanned´s last blog ..Elephant man in a dress =-.

    Like

  24. I want a fucking pony. And Hitler’s missing testicle. And an award. And a rifle. Don’t judge me, haters.

    Like

  25. Was this post inspired by the Seinfeld rerun last night? It was the one where Jerry and Elaine upset Jerry’s relative Manya (from Poland!) by saying they hated people who had ponies. She gets upset and says that when she was a little girl she had a pony that she loved and everyone had ponies…Jerry doesn’t understand how an immigrant could have a pony. Best line: “Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non pony country?!”

    If not – that’s one crazy coincidence.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pony_Remark

    yeah, i need a life. or a pony. or both.

    Like

  26. No. I didn’t watch TV last night but I have seen that episode and loved it. Actually I was really inspired by @hotamishgirls pony. It’s kind of an awesome pony.

    Like

  27. NOW I know what my issue is. Finally. Lack of ponies. So i typed in “PONI” and saw “Ponies for Sale in Texas” as one of the suggestions. I see. Texas is better than everybody else, huh?
    .-= submom´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: The Price of Tomatoes =-.

    Like

  28. Hmmph! I didn’t get any tickets and I’m winning in the #arborialseafoodwebcomic category.
    .-= Steve´s last blog ..Another Valentine’s Card =-.

    Like

  29. Rock stars should ask for peanut butter M&Ms because those things are the shit. Best thing ever invented in like EVER.
    .-= Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Hump Day Humor: Canal+ =-.

    Like

  30. Who else hates ponies? I do. Fucking hate them, and they know it. Everytime i’m near one they give me the evil eye, then when the “trainer person” isnt looking they shit on my shoe. Purposely.
    .-= Levon´s last blog ..When life gives you lemons…i guess you should just eat them right? I’d rather have money though. =-.

    Like

  31. I just read this:
    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_Adolf_Hitler_have_any_pets
    Apparently, Hitler had a German Sheperd instead of a pony.
    I was once bitten by a German Sheperd, which is another reason for me to hate Hitler.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Just in Case =-.

    Like

  32. I just realized that it’s “Shepherd”. Thanks for making me look like I can’t spell, wiki.answers.com.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Just in Case =-.

    Like

  33. Short people dig ponies.

    Like

  34. Despite what Stephenie Meyer would have you believe, it’s probably possible to be both a vampire AND an asshole.

    That may explain Hitler perfectly now that I think about it….

    Like

  35. Pony haters are the worst.

    I would rather hang with a one-balled Hitler than a bunch of robotic anti-ponyites.
    .-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..Wacky News Wednesday =-.

    Like

  36. Everyone knows Hitler had a gaggle of geese that followed him around as he stormed Europe.

    Hitler loved those damn geese.
    .-= BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Are You Out? =-.

    Like

  37. Those “ridiculous clauses in their contracts” are actually called “riders.” Coincidentally, people who sit on ponies and force the ponies to carry them around are also called “riders.” Conclusion: The Shorty Awards can suck it.
    .-= Evn´s last blog ..The Key Is in the Cards =-.

    Like

  38. Do you really want to win an award called a shorty anyway? It sounds like something they would give to ole’ one ball Hitler- seriously you are better than that I mean your boss is a cat. SO yeah, there’s that.
    .-= mountainmomma18´s last blog ..This is actually my brother’s funny story but he doesn’t have a blog so I am stealing it =-.

    Like

  39. Ponies, like dolphins, are secretly more intelligent than humans. Unlike dolphins they secretly manipulate world political events.

    Who rigged the 2000 Presidential Election? PONIES.

    Who canceled Star Trek? PONIES.

    Who killed Kennedy? A SECOND PONY ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!

    Never turn your back on a pony. They will so stab you.
    .-= The Great Joe Bivins´s last blog ..PITCHER: Unpopular and Undead =-.

    Like

  40. Aww, pony poops are cute! Like the scented my little pony with glitter. Mmm… k?

    Like

  41. I only recently discovered your blog, and have been poring over the archives. And I’m pretty sure you’re my hero now because you still put 2 spaces after a period. Oh, and you’re also snarky and hilarious.

    Like

  42. Short people hate ponies. They can’t get their legs to kick up high enough to get in the stirrups.
    .-= MamaFoodie´s last blog ..“Docta P” Pulled Pork’wich =-.

    Like

  43. Speaking of Wolverines . . . so last week we’re at a restaurant with my family and my 4 year old is sitting on my husband’s lap. My mother reaches over while she’s talking to someone and starts patting and rubbing my daughter’s knee, only she was really patting and rubbing my husband’s leg, but didn’t know it. When she realizes it, she jumps, everyone laughs and my 90 year old grandmother goes, “You better watch her, she might be one of those Wolverines.”

    Ummm . . . .Cougar?

    Like

  44. Can ponies walk through 40 inches of snow?
    .-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I can handle 21 inches =-.

    Like

  45. I can’t believe they hate cats and ponies!! I mean, why didn’t the producer offer to put a wig on, or something?! Doesn’t be care about making up with you? And C.C.? This is ludicrous (The word, not the singer).
    .-= Windsor´s last blog ..Hell yes, I’m all caught up! =-.

    Like

  46. Fuck the ponies! I have 2 puppies that are demons in disguise. Yesterday, they ate my couch. (I am not kidding you.) In the time it took me to read these comments, they were under me silently gnawing off the end of my computer charger. They tried to eat my husband’s foot off in his sleep. They are way cuter than any damn pony, so no one will know until they unleash HELL at the Shorty awards and tear the place up and eat the bald people’s heads off, because they think they’re all giant hot dogs in formal bunwear. Wait till you see how these spawns of Satan can trash a hotel room, too! Just a little added bonus.
    .-= joann mannix´s last blog ..At Least It Wasn’t My Bono Purse =-.

    Like

  47. Oh and potty training? Fuhget about it! They’ll crap all over those damn Shorty Awards. A big Screwww You.
    .-= joann mannix´s last blog ..At Least It Wasn’t My Bono Purse =-.

    Like

  48. Because Hitler is obviously NOT DEAD since there is such damning corroborating evidence like Rachael Ray’s questionable rise to stardom, I decided to instead Google ‘DOES Hitler’ vs. ‘did Hitler.’

    “Does Hitler come in zombie Nazis?”

    Like this is even questionable.

    Bloggess. I fear the apocalypse you so feared is nigh.

    Not that the whole ‘Rachael Ray’ stardom thing wasn’t the first tipoff, but whatever.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Panning for Golden Showers =-.

    Like

  49. Hitler had 45 testicles, one for each of his imaginary grandchildren
    .-= furiousball´s last blog ..2 hour delays =-.

    Like

  50. This shorty award thing is starting to piss me off. Here is why. I know stuff. I mean I read US weekly, I watch E! every night (with !) and I have not heard of these LAMECITY awards. Yet they are being such snobasses that I want to teach them a lesson. Have you reverted just to prank calls yes? That’s always my fallback plan. I would also like you to vlog that shit.
    Hearts.
    .-= MODG´s last blog ..SHE’S BACK. A blizzard with Suri. =-.

    Like

  51. The google suggestions totally weird me out. It’s like a person who interrupts without a clue of what you are ACTUALLY saying. I’m all STFU google. Awesome blog by the way! 🙂
    .-= Sam´s last blog ..Puerto Riiiiiiico! =-.

    Like

  52. They not only hate ponies. But I bet they hate guns and Texans who carry guns.

    Like

  53. Anti-pony and anti-potentially- bald -headed -avoiding- cat people? Oh say it isn’t so! We are not going to the shorty awards either! It has nothing to do with the fact that we were not invited, mind you. We are taking a stand!
    .-= LookieLou´s last blog ..Jersey Shore in the Snow =-.

    Like

  54. Just because Hitler didn’t HAVE a pony doesn’t mean he didn’t WANT a pony at some point.

    In short? This is a good time to start humming, “Don’t Stop Believin’.”
    .-= Judi´s last blog ..Top Five Fridays: Favorite TV Couples =-.

    Like

  55. In all the movies I’ve seen I’ve never seen a German on a horse. Or with a pony. Hitler had a car. Cars are the root of all evil. That’s why I don’t have one. Yeah…THAT’S why. *ahem* anyway, who has time to sit around wondering about Hitler’s junk???? I say go to the stupid awards and take me. We’ll embarrass every bald person there. We can stand at the doors taking a collection for America’s Testically Challenged.

    Like

  56. 56
    Apryl'sAntics

    My dad told me I could have a horse if I cleaned out the dog run that came with our house. I spent all day cleaning vines, weeds, and dirt out of there. When I was done, my father said, “This neighborhood isn’t zoned for livestock, silly. We can’t get a horse!” Then I kicked him in the eye. Okay, not really, but I should have.

    Like

  57. If it’s still snowing in March, and it very well might be, you could fake them out and bring a pony made out of a snow – a snow pony. The jig might be up if Snow Pony melts all over MC Hammer’s pants though.
    .-= Condo Blues´s last blog ..How Do You Fight Dry Winter Air In Your Home? =-.

    Like

  58. Target has not messed with you nearly enough if you didn’t say “Hitler was possibly missing a *bawl*.”

    Like

  59. So if short people ride ponies, and average people ride horses, why don’t tall people ride giraffes? Just sayin…
    .-= Uriah´s last blog ..It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too, dammit! =-.

    Like

  60. Hitler didn’t have enough sexy to be a vampire. I can’t believe I just wrote the words Hitler and sexy in the same sentence. Clearly I am doomed to hell.

    Thank you for your blog and making me laugh when my life is hell. Can I love you in a girl love kind of way?
    .-= Sandy´s last blog ..Closer to Fine =-.

    Like

  61. executive producer mike dubin is a freakazoid born with 3 balls and 1 nipple. do not mess with him. hitler’s batshit crazy was child’s play compared to what this circus sideshow is capable of. this guy eats ponies as a breakfast appetizer.

    Like

  62. Jenny, if you haven’t seen this, I *may* have just become your new best friend. Or, whoever drew it will be. But that’s okay, I’d probably choose him too.

    How to Ride a Pony: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/pony

    Like

  63. Thats weird ponies are the only thing that I do hate… I suck
    .-= Eric´s last blog ..Getting Ready =-.

    Like

  64. The irony is that I bet the Shorty Award would be totally FINE with an albino hooker who needed a ramp. Pony-hating assholes.
    .-= jenn´s last blog ..The Family Email Chronicles, vol. 1 =-.

    Like

  65. If I was a rock star, I’d require purple and red Skittles in my dressing room. I like both flavors equally.
    .-= mommica´s last blog ..Remember =-.

    Like

  66. I know Hitler only had one ball because I bought the other one on ebay. It was squishy and kind of spongey. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken it out of the jar.
    .-= lanned´s last blog ..Elephant man in a dress =-.

    Like

  67. Oh my god, I was totally going to be clever and Google “did Hitler have a pony?” and then I read two more sentences and found that you’d already done it. Thanks for stealing my thunder.
    .-= Rachael´s last blog ..Sightings =-.

    Like

  68. Nostalgia time, everybody sing!

    Hitler has only got one ball,
    Göring has two but very small,
    Himmler is somewhat sim’lar,
    But poor Goebbels has no balls at all.

    Like

  69. I feel like Google knows something we don’t. Cuz I’ve never heard ANYONE ask if Hilter only had one ball. And Google is all “Oh no, I definitely heard that somewhere.” And we’re all, “Suuuuuuure Google, whatever you say.”
    .-= Busted Kate´s last blog ..Seen Outside the Court, Part 2 =-.

    Like

  70. Dude, DOES Hitler only have one ball? I’m totally going to Google to find out…
    .-= Pamela @ 2 Much Testosterone´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop – Interview with the "LOST" Island! =-.

    Like

  71. You are so fucking weird. I ❤ you. Also, the wig idea was brilliant. I think wigs for men were much too shortlived. Except in parliament.
    .-= mepsipax´s last blog ..I am a Dick =-.

    Like

  72. H.O.T. (Hitler’s One Testicle).
    .-= William´s last blog ..Illustrator =-.

    Like

  73. If your short would a pony not just be a horse. Which makes sense as horses are really scary.

    Like

  74. For the life of me I can’t figure out why you people have pets.
    .-= BuenoBaby´s last blog ..mornin’ sunshine! =-.

    Like

  75. I wonder what your dreams must be like?

    My fav is that your Pony would need a ramp and would one be provided?

    Sadie at heyMamas

    Like

  76. These awards people are becoming quite a pain in the ass. Bring the pony and if you have to provide your own ramp, well then they need to provide their own clean up crew because Im fairly certain there is going to be pony shit to clean up. and probably glitter.
    .-= singlemomma_cc´s last blog ..I hope she calls me momma till the day I die =-.

    Like

  77. Well thats absurb, WHO the heck doesn’t like ponies?
    Are you sure Hilter isn’t still alive and living in Kalamazoo?

    Like

  78. I would love a pony if it had a horn on its head. I’d call it a ponycorn. Or maybe a ponicorn. And I’d name it Hitler. Whatever, it would be fucking awesome.
    .-= statia´s last blog ..Funny, like, ha ha! =-.

    Like

  79. the shorty awards suck..i mean whats with not answering about guns? oh and the whole Hitler was an asshole not a vampire was greatness!
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..awesomeness lol =-.

    Like

  80. I say we go and have a rumble with NASA. Not the astronauts, though. The scientists. I can take most scientists. Female scientists. Does NASA employ children? I call them.
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Unauthorized product review that will probably get me sued =-.

    Like

  81. I can understand their anti-pony stance. Ponies are evil bastards. They suck you in with the whole cute furry little horse malarkey, and then kapow they rip your hand off and kick shit out of you whilst you are lying on the ground screaming in agony holding your bloody stump. And then you get called “Stumpy” or “Lefty” for the rest of your life no matter how much you hate it. And you are traumatised every time you go to ToysR’Us by the My Little Pony display. Bastard ponies. Evil I tell you.

    (Okay I may be a little delirious from lack of sleep. Please excuse my little anti-pony rant. I’m sure some ponies are lovely and I may just have met the one meth addict pony with a rather bad attitude).
    .-= Michelle Roger´s last blog ..How To Spot A Sick Chicken. =-.

    Like

  82. I just Google Imaged albino hookers, because I wanted to give you the gift that keeps on giving (?). But, alas all that came up were albinos or hookers. There may never have been a photo taken of an actual albino hooker in it’s natural environment. That’s it! I have found a new and exciting quest… I shall go in search of the illusive albino hooker! Thank you once again for giving my life meaning all powerful Bloggess!

    Like

  83. Not only does Google auto-fill a search for you, now they want to TRACK YOUR POSITION and POST IT ONLINE so every crazy fucking pony-hating Hitler-lover in the world can find you & pluck your hairs out one by one. This sounds like it would end up being very, very painful. Plus, I like my hair. I’m keeping it. Back off, pony-hating Hitler lovers!!!

    “Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non pony country?!”….that’s excellent!

    Stay strong, Bloggess! Your day will come!

    Like

  84. And you know what else? Talk about an axis of evil, Mao, Hitler AND Stalin all had one ball. What? You heard it. And Mao, also a known pony eater.

    Like

  85. Speaking of stabbings, I volunteered at the Highway Operations phone bank today to receive calls from angry citizens who have been trapped in their homes for days by the blizzard. One such citizen was in a rage that our truck had left a 6 high ‘ x 10’ wide slug of snow in his driveway. He said he was going to track down the driver in his truck and deal with him in person. We had a little tally going in the office of the numbers of happy and unhappy calls. Of course the unhappy tally was much, much longer. I drew a dagger as a tally mark in this column and told the other volunteers that my last caller was feeling “stabby.” Which of course you made up. And it is now the favorite new word of the Division of Public Works of Frederick County, Maryland. You’re welcome.

    Like

  86. Eff that shit…I think you should start The Bloggess Award for the site that hate ponies. You would have all of our votes! Need I say more?

    Like

  87. There is an actual movement “Humans United Against Robots,” http://www.keithandthegirl.com/huar/HUAR.html ~”Robots will uprise. HUAR will be there”

    If by chance you haven’t heard of Keith and the Girl, aka KATG, they are from NYC and the #1 comedy podcast.

    I am in no way affiliated with KATG, I only give a babillion shits about spreading the love.
    .-= Poison´s last blog ..2010 is going to kick some ass, hopefully in a good way =-.

    Like

  88. 90
    JacksonsGirl

    I just went to google and googled Did hi…and most of those came up as well as Did Hitler have a union…but I read UNICORN!!! See! Even HITLER believed in ponies. Or maybe the ponies killed him and did us all a service. And I bet he made it so that the Unicorns lost their horns for his own nasty-ness and became ponies ever after. How long have ponies been around? Since Hitler I think. he hates the ponies AND Unicorns too.

    Like

  89. Google prompt today for ‘Did Hitler like’:

    Did Hitler like Muslims
    Did Hitler like Asians
    Did Hitler like Italians
    Did Hitler like Charlie Chaplin

    Google prompt for ‘Did Hitler like ponies’;
    Did Hitler like poop
    Did Hitler like get poop

    ~WTF?

    But the winner is:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/animals-that-look-like-hitler

    I have spent far too long looking into this…

    Like

1 trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s