Random Ramblings of an Insomniac: Boobquakes, dangerous squirrels, things we already knew about men

in International incidents, mixing medications, no one thinks this is funny but me, Random Crap, terrible titles, this blog cures cancer, why the terrorists hate us

I have insomnia so I’m getting a head-start on National #Boobquake Day; a day when women are encouraged to wear their most immodest outfit to see if immodest women do, in fact, cause earthquakes as reported by Iranian media.  Apparently this is a real concern.  So I put on my most low-cut corset and used my computer camera to take some pictures but my cat kept getting in the way and I was all “WHY MUST YOU BE IN EVERY PICTURE?” and then Victor woke up and wanted to know why I was screaming and taking half-naked pictures of myself and I was all “Uh…it’s an experiment to see if my boobs can create earthquakes?” and Victor just stared at me and shook his head in confusion and shuffled back to bed and I’m all “I’M DOING THIS FOR SCIENCE, ASSHOLE“.

It was weird though because I always heard that it was girls who didn’t understand science.

The boobs are real. The hair? Not so much.

Also, I just realized that my cat has a ton of nipples that are never covered so I guess technically she should actually be part of this experiment too.  Touché, cat.

You can't really see any of our nipples but I assure you, they're all totally there.

PS. If this does, in fact, cause some sort of horrible earthquake then I blame the cat who has like 4 times as many nipples as me.  Honestly, it’s like she wants to cause an earthquake.  That cat’s kind of a dick.

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A few weeks ago I linked to a post on Alone with Cats and the chick that writes it sent me a very sweet, unexpected thank you card filled with cursing, threats of violence and tips on befriending wealthy, dying relatives and there was a tiny package under the card and inside the package was was the single greatest, random, bizarre gift that I’ve ever received:

Introducing: Grover Cleveland.

Yes, people. It’s a dead, stuffed gambling squirrel holding a tiny pistol and when I pulled it out Victor said “Oh, what the fuck now?” and I was all “This, Victor, is what happens when you make a difference in people’s lives” and then he made me put it out in the garage with James Garfield because apparently our real estate agent thinks having hilariously awesome taxidermied animals in your house scares off prospective buyers.  I prefer to think that we’re hiding them so that buyers won’t assume that they come with the house because really? They totally tie the fucking room together.

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Google suggestions once again makes me weep for humanity while inadvertently nailing the difference between the sexes:

These questions might be related. Just a thought.

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Feels like there should be a fourth random thing here.  Something about badgers or pandas, maybe.  Or badgers mixed with pandas.  I think my sleeping pills are kicking in.  Ooh, leprechauns…

Comment of the day: When my dad died, we had him cremated at Cress Funeral Home, aka “The Taxidermy Museum”.  I think you would appreciate its charm although I’m undecided if mourning enhances or detracts from the experience of seeing dead squirrels ride bicycles and perform topless dances. We may need to perform an experiment to determine the effects of grief on taxidermy appreciation. Fortunately, I’m a chick, so I totally get science. ~ Sarah P.

171 thoughts on “Random Ramblings of an Insomniac: Boobquakes, dangerous squirrels, things we already knew about men”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. Great, like you don’t get enough marriage proposals already.

    That squirrel is gonna send people over the top.

  8. Grover Cleveland came from the city I was born in and local legend has it he was did tote a gun, gamble, and was a medium-sized rodent. However, he never touched tobacco! You have misrepresented him! For shame! For shame!

    Oh, Grover also fathered an illegitimate child leading his opponent’s camp to come up with the slogan: “Ma, Ma, Wheres My Pa, Gone To the White House, Ha Ha,Ha!” This proved the fact that rhyming slogans never work no matter how full of innuendo or we’d have had President James G. Blaine to make fun of.

    In closing: nice boobs.

  10. I have entire posts about how my cats are cam-hogs. They will avoid me for hours, and then as soon as I’m trying to take a picture for the blog, which is supposed to be about how I CANNOT CLEAN MY HOUSE BECAUSE OF THE CATS, *there* they are. (Except, I don’t really write about how this is all the cats fault, but it could be, because the shed on EVERYTHING.)

    But you’ve got to give her credit for moxie, because if my state FALLS INTO THE OCEAN TOMORROW and it’s her fault because of, well, all the boobs, then it was pretty bold of her to leap into the shot and thereby take all responsibility.

    And I think you should post a picture of what room, exactly, a gambling, pistol-toting taxidermied squirrel pulls together.
    .-= Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points´s last blog ..Sheep Shot =-.

  11. So I said to myself- “self”, I said, this woman is hilarious! And she so deserves. To know it.

  13. Insomniacs FTW! They keep us night owl geeks entertained. Plus make me think to remember all the random insomnia remedies I’ve read about over the years. (people tell me using your brain is a good thing. I dunno.)

  14. When my dad died, we had him cremated at Cress Funeral Home, aka “The Taxidermy Museum”:
    http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2247
    http://extremecraft.typepad.com/extreme_craft/2008/06/death-and-taxidermy.html

    I think you would appreciate its charm. I’m undecided if mourning enhances or detracts from the experience seeing dead squirrels ride bicycles and perform topless dances. We may need to perform an experiment to determine the effects of grief on taxidermy appreciation. Fortunately, I’m a chick, so I totally get science.

  16. It’s good to see that *somebody* is trying to change the sexist nature of science. And? Go boobs and their earth-shattering abilities!

  17. Umm, I just read that a 6.9 earthquake just hit off the coast of Taiwan. Seriously. Your boobs alone caused one. Now we’ll see if there’s another one later today when everyone else participates. If there’s not, then you’ll have scientific proof that your boobs are more awesome than everyone else’s put together.
    .-= meghann´s last blog ..Saying goodbye to an old friend =-.

  18. I don’t technically have insomnia, so I shouldn’t be reading this right now. (I just had too much beer at a cook-out and passed out at 8 PM yesterday evening)

    Your corset photos started an earthquake with me (and I’m queer).
    I’ll be waiting for the 8.6, when the rest of the world wakes up this morning.

    In the queer world, you get the homo asking both questions:
    Why won’t my boyfriend blow me?
    -and-
    Why won’t my boyfriend propose?
    .-= The Queer Next Door´s last blog ..Julie is Singing to You, Buddy =-.

  19. I have insomnia too. But it’s 4pm here, so it’s not insomnia YET, it’s just regular being awakefulness. But, wait until 11pm and I’ll be not sleeping. Again.

    Also, I need a corset. Somehow, skinny jeans and a top aren’t exactly immodest. I did try though.
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..A journey =-.

  20. THAT’S TOMORROW, The Boobquake Day thing. I just got a new job and bought all these new work clothes that were supposed to help me look more like a professional and less like a hobo slut, but I lug around a pair of DDs which means that I have cleavage in fucking everything, even a turtleneck and I’m not even kidding, and so I just look like a professional slut. But I don’t have the legs to make a real career of it, and Spouse thinks having to live with me is payment enough for sex.

    And what I meant to tell you is that I bought a bunch of camis this weekend in an attempt to hide the girls for when I’ve got meetings and shit, but then you reminded me that tomorrow is Boobquake Day, and I live in Vancouver which, as I understand it, sits smack in the middle of a fault line that runs along the whole west coast. So, tomorrow, I will join you, boobs akimbo, unfettered by camisoles and pushed upward by some miracle of engineering, and if the Earth splits open and the west coast of North America plunges into the sea, we will have proof that sluts are awesome(ly powerful).
    .-= emvandee´s last blog ..I am such a creepy, creepy weirdo. =-.

  21. One word: Awesome!!!! I’m totally going to be sleepy in a few short hours when the alarm goes off but #boobquake and Grover Cleveland were worth it.

    And, might I suggest Grover Cleveland cards to celebrate the Fourth of July??? I’d totally buy one or two.

    Thanks for the happy thoughts dear Bloggess.
    .-= Les´s last blog ..2009 – So long and thanks for all the fish =-.

  22. I adore you and every word that comes out of your mouth. Your words and words are so inspiring. And anyone who thinks different can take a flying leap.

    Oh please God let some combination of my meds and sleeping pills kick in. The snorer next to me might wake up withs lots of unexplained pain and bruises.

    Keep writing, living, loving and laughing.
    Krista

  23. Fourth random thing: There is a little lip on my macbook that is the perfect place to put M&M’s. It makes them all melty inside, and the brighter I make my keyboard, the more melty they are. Also, will you please make Grover Cleveland cards? I will buy one and frame it.

  24. I have a boob pic.. Maybe I should use it as my profile pic on something… Or, just twitpic it.. Hmm.. Just for this special day.. I will totally think about it.. Maybe…

  25. Oh, and now I have the songs Weird Science by Oingo Boingo and She Blinded Me with Science by Thomas Dolby playing simultaneously in my head. Or maybe on my iPod. Not sure, really.

    Way to blind me with your weird science! 😀

  26. First let me state that I am a proud DD and love my cleavage. That being said, your rack totally rocks. I would apologize for being too forward on my first comment, but I’m guessing there’s no need for that.

  27. While your real estate agent might encourage you to hide the squirrel, in the back of their mind, I am sure the agent thinks the squirrel is awesome. Mainly because it is.
    .-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Start the Jew Jokes Now =-.

  30. James Garfield is in the GARAGE? Is this why you never answer me when I ask you if it’s safe for me to come meet him? I am heartened by Grover Cleveland! He has a GUN! If J.G thought of eating either of us I just know he would come to my aid!
    .-= Eustice The Sheep´s last blog ..Starting in the Middle =-.

  34. Not to steal Jenny’s thunder – and really, if I had any thunder, I’d totally give it to Jenny – but I named Grover Cleveland after a character on “Sesame Street” and the city of my birth. Apparently he’s also a former president of America. But I’m not really up on my history. You’ll have to Google it or something.

    P.S. I’m torn about whom/what I love more: Jenny or her boobs. Probably Jenny. Although I do *really* like boobs. I never thought I’d be forced to pick a favorite between the two … or three.
    .-= alonewithcats´s last blog ..Babies probably taste like veal =-.

  35. i can’t say much bout boobquake coz i’m not much into boobs sexually. And so can’t feel women’s emotions bout the topic. anyway i do believe in its power to cause quakes in men’s hearts !

  36. and also this hairstyle (or fake hair whatever) makes you look younger if i avoid staring at your cleavage 😉

  37. Oh dear. As someone encumbered/blessed (my opinion varies by the day, or sometimes by the hour) with E/F cup bustiness, any shirt is pretty much borderline-indecent, cleavage-wise. (If I wear a corset, I can comfortably rest my chin in my cleavage, which is actually really quite comfy and I totally get why men love doing that. Ahem.) Which I guess means that I have been inadvertantly causing earthquakes for years, without even realizing.

    Now I feel horrible, though, for being the cause of so much destruction. Thanks a lot.
    .-= Miss B´s last blog ..Hallway Ninja =-.

  39. I got started on boobquake early too! I sent Husband cleavage pics to show him what I’m wearing tomorrow and tell him that’s what he gets for NOT being here during Boobquake. It has such a deep V neck you can even see my bra, so I have to wear the cool purple one with the dangly thing in the middle cause it’s Pretty. He loves that shirt, and I’m going to wear it and be all like BAM when I go to work, have to change into a boring work shirt, then BAM back out after work. I only work a few hours, so most of the day… BAM! BOOBS!
    .-= Kandace´s last blog ..Yes, I’m Avoiding You Internet =-.

  41. Once again, my world has been expanded by reading your blog. Thank you. Yes, you do make a different in people’s lives, in more ways than Victor can ever understand.

    I LOVE that wig. I really do. My favorite so far. And do I even need to mention how much I love your sexy pictures?

    Also, I know doing this is completely uncouth, but, I think if you check out this vid on my latest post, you are going to agree that it’s an eerie coincidence that I wrote about it without know about the the Boobsquake thing… For some of us that do not have boobs that can cause earthquakes, we could always strive for boobs that cause nose bleeds…

  42. Darling, you look fabulous as a brunette in a hot corsette. Surely, the meters are tipping here in CA somewhere. 🙂
    Would love to do my part for science. Will dig out something tight & low cut, although I have a new therapist appt. at 2pm. Am wondering if she’ll understand Boobquake. I may come home with more meds than I had intended. Will see.
    dahlila xxoo

  44. The 26th is nearly over here in Oz and I’ve had my super twins decked out all day in the hope of contributing to Boobquake. I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat to watch the news just in case my two little peas caused the next apocalypse.

    Though I am wondering if there is some sort of formula to this. Is it purely number of boobs, or is it size of boob, or length of cleavage? Is it a question of symmetry or directionality? What about if I choose to wear pasties? Are stars less points than tassels? Would my use of tassels cancel out the microscopic nature of my super twins? These are the questions that need to be answered people!!
    .-= Rusty Hoe´s last blog ..Fabulous Fridays: Bedazzling My World One Day At A Time. =-.

  45. I’m doing all of my interwebs stuff from under my bed today. I’m that convinced that you, your many-nippled cat and everyone else ‘doing it for science’ today is going to collapse my house. Thanks for that.

    Another random thought: How awesome would it be if you combined your zombie apocalypse fetish with boobquake? Come on, think about it. Zombies showing some bloody cleavage? The universe / god / gods should be suitably pissed off enough to shake the earth a bit. Although, I think you and your cat alone are worthy of divine reaction.
    .-= Marc´s last blog ..The Day Boobs Shook The Earth =-.

  47. love the wig. just concerned that if by any chance there is an earthquake anywhere today, even a slight tremor, we are going to have a pretty hard time convincing anyone it was not us…..
    .-= angelica´s last blog ..My week is cursed! =-.

  48. I wish there was some kind of Boobquake dating website. Because I’m totally into dating someone with boobs that cause earthquakes!

  49. Nice rack, Jenny!! LOL

    Do you think if I just went completely topless that I could cause “The Big One” with my F cups? I mean I do live in SoCal, they have been warning us for years about it. I wonder if that would get my daughter kicked out of preschool…

    Those crazy Iranians may, indeed, have a point about cleavage causing earthquakes…in THEIR pants, those perverted little rat bastards. This is why they make women over there wear Birkas. What, you thought it was to keep them from getting skin cancer from the 120 degree days? Pffft.
    .-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last blog ..Every Morning After I Open My Eyes…: MomDot’s Small Talk Six =-.

  50. I love that you clarify that this is your MOST low-cut corset. Like you have a whole closet of corsets and you could pull one out that fits any occasion.

    And I want one of those taxidermied gambler squirrels. I’d name mine Kenny Rogers.
    .-= Amy @ The Bitchin’ Wives Club´s last blog ..Venice…. With Children =-.

  51. I think it is great that women are pulling together for a communal experiment. Just saying

  52. I totally see the real estate agent’s point about James Garfield and Grover Cleveland. My husband and I looked a house that had an awesome hanging light fixture, which was gone when we moved in. There should’ve been a “not included” sign on it like they have on toy boxes.

  54. I’m up tonight (this morning?) too. I hate it when I can’t sleep. It’s like the world has stopped and reversed direction. Wrong and vaguely foreshadowing the apocalypse or something.

    I cannot take boobie pics however as I have no boobs to speak of, or at least of the variety that would cause an Iranian to lose sleep worrying about earthquakes. I don’t have a cat either. (That’s probably not relevant?)

    I hate being up in the middle of the night. It doesn’t happen much anymore, but when it does, I am a wreck for days because I wonder/worry about the significance of it all. Aging? Symptom of a disease to be named later? Karma – not instant. Karma is not instant. John Lennon was somewhat of an idiot on that score.

    By the way, is Shatner still mad at you? Very sad.
    .-= annie´s last blog ..Settling =-.

  55. I’m going to have to be late to the party for the Boobquake. Since I’m a teacher, I’m PRETTY sure I might be considered a pedophile if I wear something super low cut to work…….. I mean, they are 10 and all…..

  56. Just so you know, your Google experiment has led me to completely blow off my job more than usual and start typing in random shit like, “I use” or “I ate” and then typing in the letters of the alphabet to see what comes up and then my boss comes by and I yell shit like “LOOK! It says “I ate your uterus!” Apparently Jeffrey Dahmer’s death HAS BEEN STAGED!” and then I laugh maniacially and he just looks at me blankly and leaves me alone for the rest of the month.

    The Bloggess: Helping insane people stay employed since whenever she started this Google thing.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Wrapping Up the Week – April 25, 2010 =-.

  59. Victor needs to get on board before he falls into the cracks that come with after-shock. He could totally be like the guy from Janet jackson’s album who held her boobs for her while she posed with unbuttoned jeans and her arms in the air. I dunno if victor’s hands are large enough, but I’m just saying a little support for his luscious one in the name of science may bode well for all.
    .-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..on your second birthday =-.

  60. I HEARD about this foolishness on the news this morning!

    Holy hottie woman!!! That is one damn good picture. I love the hair.

  61. Yeowzah!! That should be your refrigerator picture. You know, that picture that people put in the fridge door and look at it on days when they are feeling blue. That way every time you go into the kitchen and look at it, you can mentally high-five yourself and say, “yeah, I’m someone’s mom AND I have amazing boobs. I WIN!”

    You would also look awesome with a short bob.

  63. Great. Now I’m going to have to explain to my wife that I read TheBloggess “for the articles”, not for the photos spreads. I’m thinkin’ that excuse ain’t gonna fly a second time.

  67. ok, I tried putting up a pic of my own boobs on twitter but my fan base began growing with dodgy horny types, and apparently I am more of a prude than I though I was (will me showing my boobs and then hiding them again throw off the whole experiment), I hope not, just in case I’ve come up with an alternative, check it out
    http://onmotherhoodandsanity.blogspot.com/
    .-= angelica´s last blog ..My week is cursed! =-.

  70. Where did you get that particular corset? Do you have a recommendation for anyone who wants to buy a corset?

    (Amanda – I got it from Eden Fantasys and I’m wearing it backward because it’s a straight front top. ~ Jenny)

  71. If you (or your boobs, or your cat’s boobs) cause earthquakes, then we are all screwed and I am going to have to get one of those stickers for the back of my car that says “In case of rapture, I’m taking your damn car”

    Other things that might indicate the end of the world: William Shatner sings a duet with that one guy who can imitate Whitney Huston. http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/345864/great-musical-moments-in-reality-tv-lin-yu-chun-duets-with-william-shatner/ Appallingly, this was on the yahoo main page when I got up, indicating that I should definitely go back to bed.
    .-= LadyV´s last blog ..The eat at home challenge begins on Monday! =-.

  73. I lack the “equipment” to have significant impact in Boobquake (just not all that earth-shaking, poor girls), but am participating in spirit. However, if I were as gifted in the boobage department as you, I’d probably never put on a shirt. Even if you don’t cause an earthquake, rest assured that you’re definitely capable of causing multi-car pileups on the highway.

    Also, sad that James Garfield and Grover Cleveland are banished to the garage. I hope they’re not out there plotting against you…
    .-= Lori´s last blog ..A Strange Day And Pictures Of My Feet =-.

  74. I’m thinking next time, you should wear the cat as a bra instead of the corset. Then, YOU’d have like 10x the nipples. I’m sure Victor can help you duct tape some straps on the cat… just watch out for the claws or you could lose a nipple.

  75. Holy shit. I bow to your boobie power.

    I have to admit, I was a doubter. But with the earthquake in Taiwan, I’m now going to sit huddled at home in a closet hoping that you don’t unleash the cleavage again.
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Happy Friday #7: Smoky Mountains =-.

  80. And also..stop making me want to switch teams! Good drugs, best sense of humor ever, brilliant writer and a rack to die for. Quit it!

  81. I think the boobquake is caused by all the jaws dropping on the floor at the same time.

  82. I could walk the streets of Tehran shirtless and the Earth would remain still as my boobs wouldn’t get anything shaking. I’d look like a pale Iranian boy after a soccer game.

    I think you’ve given me an idea for a gift TO my real estate agent…she wants us to KILL the groundhound family that burrows under our home. I think I’m going to buy a recreation of a groundhog and pimp it out with realtor garb.

  83. Thank god for women like you trying to break the stereotype that science is only for men. Clearly you have embarked on a well prepared, fully documented experiment. The world awaits your findings. I’m pretty sure that at least half, if not two thirds of the world also awaits additional corset shots….
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..Look what I found…. =-.

  84. Boobs cause earthquakes when they bounce in my face. The earth moves, I swear.

  85. If I was to participate in the Boobquake today, I would be sure to get suggestive comments… From the old lady that I work for. I’m her caregiver during the day and when I am down on the floor putting her shoes on, she can see down my shirt. Many callings out of , “OOOoooh, I can see your TITTIES!” has caused me to wear a t-shirt under my scrub top.
    .-= Shirley´s last blog ..The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life =-.

  86. The cat was just trying to save the world. Too many titties today, and the earth will be shook like something that is cheap and is shaken a lot (I couldn’t think of a metaphor that would work.) The earth can not handle such a exhibition. Just think about how many earthquakes places like Dayton, Key West, New Orleans and Brazil get? Times that by a million…… We’re all doomed.
    .-= Holytape´s last blog ..Noah, the unabridged version. =-.

  89. As awesome as that squirrel was, wouldn’t you agree that it would have been TEN TIMES AWESOMER if he had a little Old West stuffed Prostitute (no pun intended) next to him? And then, you wouldn’t have to take pictures of your awesome boobage; you could just pull down her little top and see if there are tremors near your house. Which would turn St. Joseph on his side, which brings me back to what happens if he falls… do you get squatters? Squatters who show their squatty boobs?
    .-= HannahBanana´s last blog ..77 cents =-.

  90. ummm. wow. I’m not a lesbian (not that here’s anything wrong with that) but your boobs? wow.

    I have a bustier, but I don’t think I’m anywhere near as uhhhh “boosty” as you are.

  91. Your real estate may be on to something. Ditch the dead squirrel, for sure – BUT keep taking pictures of yourself half naked….You’re bound to double the traffic in your house. I’m sure of it. Also – your cat totally has Gollum eyes. Kind of creepy. Does your cat have a magic ring?
    .-= MinivanSoapbox´s last blog ..Rock Star In The Bathroom =-.

  92. Wowzers. That is to say, Vavoom! I’m afraid this boobquake thing is likely to backfire, because I believe there is some law of physics or other that I forgot immediately after learning it that states something about every action having an equal & opposite reaction & then there’s the whole p=mv business which may or may not be involved here and, well, I’m pretty sure that picture means that something, somewhere is gonna have to quake.

  94. I get that it’s all for science, but dude that is a very dangerous experiment! People could die! Because I think I believe it – scantily clad women really do cause earthquakes.

    All that seismic shit that taught in school always sounded like a load of crap to me anyway. And to that I say VINDICATION to my junior high science teachers. I’d like you to recalculate my grade now please.
    .-= My Baby Sweetness´s last blog ..Monday Minute – 4/26/10 =-.

  95. I once knew this lady who didn’t wear a bra once she was home and she had really, really, BIG BOSOMS, and while you would be sitting at her kitchen table drinking soda or playing cards she would hoist one boob at a time an let it rest on the table (through her shirt, she wasn’t naked, y’all) and these were good solid plomps onto that table. Those things were good for minor tremors for sure!
    .-= tokenblogger´s last blog ..So the interviews… =-.

  96. TANUKIS!!! That is the beasty you were alluding to in your final whatever thingy, post. They are raccoon-like in aspect with the varience of being 40% balls. Really. Fecking enourmous balls. Talking a couple of medicine balls in a laundry sack huge. Go see. They are denizens of Japanese forests and are venerated by the Japanese.

  98. I totally had a comment to leave about this but then it sounded like there were geese in my hall and I got all, “what the hell is going on,” jumped up and ran out. There weren’t any geese. Which was kind of dissapointing, and kind of not because geese are fucking scary. However, it also caused me to forget what I was going to say…

    Maybe the experiment it isn’t going to cause a boobquake. Maybe it is going to cause a whole boobpocalypse and the whole thing includes hoards of (flocks of?) geese instead of crazy locusts. Way to go Jenny and Jenny’s cat. Now you’re causing a boobpocalypse and the geese are going to get me. I’m done for!
    .-= Sonja´s last blog ..They Teach Us How To Ride Moose in Maine. =-.

  99. Well, I’m not wearing anything immodest. BUT I didn’t dry my bras because that makes them shrink and I forgot there were wet bras in the laundry basket and they sat under some towels all night and were still wet this morning. Which means I am not wearing a bra. Which, in my bra size, simply not wearing one is immodest. So we’ll see how that boobquake goes.
    .-= Deana Birks´s last blog ..I won’t be winning friends or influencing people =-.

  102. Homg! Never, EVER mix Panda’s with anything! They are far to amazing for mixing of any sort. K? kgreat.

    Ps I’m requesting a full body picture of that corset you’re wearing. Because It looks gorgeous…(from what I can see of it) And I’m requesting this full body photo preferably withOUT the cat.

    (Here’s a link to the corset. I’m wearing it backward in my picture. Plus, I’m 10 sizes larger than that model. Otherwise? Exactly the same. ~ Jenny)

    .-= Rebekah Mae´s last blog ..$100 dollars at 10am =-.

  104. Google is kicking ass all over other so-called country songs. Those lyrics totally beat out “my truck’s got a flat and my dog just died” and you can slow dance to them!
    .-= anne nahm´s last blog ..Year After Pregnancy =-.

  106. I totally blame the cat!

    Okay, I have a proposition for you! I wanted this Billy doll, kind of the way you wanted James Garfield, I LOVE Billy and want him for MANY reasons, but the lady on etsy would not hold him until pay day so that I could purchase him, she said “I can’t hold the doll for you, come back and buy him.” and “My higher priced dolls don’t sell quickly and he will totally be here for you on your pay day.” Yeah.fucking.right. He is not there and I read your old post about tracking down the person who you ‘thought’ bought James Garfield and I say we figure out who bought Billy and track them down and steal the doll 🙂

    Here he is – http://www.etsy.com/listing/44776742/loopy-goth-art-doll-billy?ref=vl_other_2

    I NEED him for my nursery!!! But of course he is so not for the child, he is for me :).
    .-= Caitlyn´s last blog ..Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. =-.

  107. Your cat is totally looking like a corsage there. When my cats die I’ll get their heads mounted as corsage pins. Crazy cat lady is going to a whole new level when I’m retired.

    Not only do you change lives you give out 30 year life plans.

  108. I used to frequent this Korean restaurant/taxidermy shop near Charlottesville, VA. The owner was a Korean immigrant who came to the States to live the redneck dream. He was the best taxidermist in the area, and all my construction site buddies got their favorite dead animals preserved in lifelike poses there. He could also patch up mangled animal corpses with bits of roadkill and make them look better than new. The restaurant part of the operation was replete with woodland scenes featuring dead critters–families of deer grazing, turkey vultures in flight, and squirrels perched on shelves. One of the squirrels was particularly sinister and threatening, with his pointy little fingers clamped around an acorn that had long since slipped out of his grasp, his little fangs bared, his whole beady-eyed aspect hissing, “I dare you to turn your back on me, round-eye!”

    But that’s not nearly as disturbing as this restaurant in Germany I went to a while ago where the taxidermy scenes were far more elaborate. All the dusty, threadbare animals had traditional Bavarian outfits on–lederhosen, dirndels, etc. , and were in anthropomorphic poses. There was a “family” of foxes including a mom and dad, standing upright, pushing a baby carriage with a little baby dead fox in little German baby clothes. The flesh around the mouth had deteriorated so the baby sported a toothy snarl.

    My dog has 11 nipples. I always thought they only came in pairs.
    .-= beta dad´s last blog ..Butching It Up for the Daddy Playdate =-.

  110. I’m guessing Victor married you because of your tremendous rack instead of the fact that *you make a difference in people’s lives.*

    I am constantly disappointed in Victor which makes me eligible to be his mother. Or his wife.
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..What To Do If You Can’t Afford Botox =-.

  112. Pingback: Anne Nahm » Bottomless Wormhole of Interest
  114. Pingback: The Day Boobs Shook The Earth « The Dalai Moron

  116. Holy chipotles Batman! Where’d you get that AWESOME corset? I feel as if my life will now be incomplete if I don’t have something incredibly similar! Seriously, since this is a direct question, will you answer, even though it’s more than 10 comments in? 🙂

    (Of course! It’s this one. But I’m wearing it backward in my picture. ~Jenny)

  118. You are rockin that dress! I can’t believe Victor went back to bed. What is wrong with the man?

    Ok, so my post is also about weird Google searches (I SWEAR I did not copy you!). Among other random things, it includes the phrases people entered and my posts Google thought were an appropriate match for such searches as “do brothels have menus” (ok, that one is a good match for my site), but “men in momens underwear” and “girls who fart in videos”?

    Seriously, Google is just as fucked-up as some of the freaky searchers.
    .-= Kernut´s last blog ..Random Things I Found Funny This Week =-.

  119. Clearly the google chick whose boyfriend won’t propose doesn’t wear wigs and bustiers.

    That pic is amazing. I must find one for myself- a bustier, that is. Not a nipply cat.

  120. Someone probably addressed this but I’m too damn lazy to read.

    This could be a new field in geology? The Study of Plate Tit-tonics?!!
    My husband would gladly study that all day.

  121. Boobquake is awesome, and I hope nobody feels objectified on account of it. Because, awesome. Also a friend of mine is sorry to miss today: she’s having hers off on account of the whole having-to-save-your-life thing. Oh shoot, I posted a downer. But not really: I think with help she’s going to be fine.

  123. Absolutely love the built-in bookcase behind you!

    James Garfield totally looks like he is grinning. The warthog thing next to him is seriously creepy, though.

    I’m not crazy about stuffed animals that were once alive, but I can see why you fell in love! Such personality…

    Hope you designed a place of honour for your stuffed creatures in your new house.

  124. How can I get my hands on a nifty taxidermied squirrel? It doesn’t even have to be a squirrel, maybe just something in the squirrel family. It would go great next to my actual cat skull. (It’s not as creepy as it sounds, I assure you)

    PS- Tell Victor that my friend has her own James Garfield and he lives in the back of her SUV protecting it from looters and pirates.
    .-= Graygrrrl´s last blog ..Chelsea! What Are You Doing?! =-.

  128. Grover Cleaveland? Missed the boat. So totally Jesse James. Played by Brad Pitt.

  129. My dog wants to be in all of my photos too. Especially if I’m taking photos for my blog – it’s like he just knows it’s going to be on the Internet. Unfortunately he will not be adding to any boobquake action because he is a boy and therefore has no nipples. To prove this he lays on his back in front of the screen door so that wall may see that yes his a boy and using his boy parts to lord over me in my own house in true patriarchal fashion.

    Love the photo. RAWR.
    .-= Condo Blues´s last blog ..Zestra Review and Giveaway! =-.

  130. I am writing this with numb fingers…. it feels kinda funny… especially my “fuck you” finger and my”Maybe I will get finger lickin hitched one day, maybe not” finger… They tingle the most… hmmmmm… odd….

    Just thought I would say… Sweet cleavage… and I found you randomly a couple weeks ago, and even though you already know it? I thought I would help you with your hot air issues and let you know that you kinda rock in a funny, breastacular way… just sayin… now I am going to get the feelings back in my finglets…

    Also? Men suck… The End
    .-= Malskeys´s last blog ..Definitions =-.

  131. As Cleavage Increases, The Intelligence of Men Decreases.

    But I don’t think that plate tectonics have much to do with it. . . . . unless it is the Planetess, Gaia, shivering in disgust.

    This does seem possible.

  132. I have far too few dead animals in my house. I mean, my dogs used to bring me dead rabbits and they once left a dead squirrel on the couch so when I woke up I thought it was a stuffed animal and then realized it was kind of stiff so I threw it away along with all of the rabbits. I had no idea that my dogs were trying to decorate my house and just begging me to hang them up on the wall because now that I look around my house is totally missing something. Prime dead animals were right at my feet, and I just didn’t think it through… what a fucking waste.

    Also? Your boobs looks fucking fantastic.

  133. Hehehehe…fantastic pictures! And I never thought about the nipples of female cats causing more earthquakes than female humans…hmmm…I don’t know if I want to tread into that sensitive territory or not. 😉 😛

    ~dsk~
    .-= Dee Shelby Knight´s last blog ..#BOOBQUAKE 3 =-.

  135. I just read the Sex column. First off, is it SexIs? Or Sexis? You know I’m in trouble when I can’t figure out the title of the website.

    I’m far too lazy to get an account so I circled back here meanwhile in the time it took to write these 2 sentences I could have HAD MY OWN ACCOUNT over there.

    But here is what I want to say. Your devotion to all your writing/blogging/porn is really exhausting. I got paid to blog in 2008 and all I did was go to bed at night and pray for talent. I don’t know how much longer I can read your blog without going back on Lexapro.
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..What To Do If You Can’t Afford Botox =-.

  136. Thanks for the link Ms. Jenny. 🙂 (I think this may be my new favorite site [and it may also be where all of my lifes savings goes too])

    Mepsi…yeah. You would know Dick wouldn’t you. 😉
    .-= Rebekah Mae´s last blog ..$100 dollars at 10am =-.

  137. 1- Science is definitely benefitting from your total committment to finding the answers… not necessarily the truth, or maybe your being committed…. which ever…
    2- Grover Cleveland so TOTALLY ROCKS! I need him to sit by my strawberry patch so he can POLICE the OUTLAW SQUIRRELS who keep stealing the berries right before they are ready to be picked! I mean, what renegade squirrel is gonna F— with THE LONE RANGER OF SQUIRRELDOM! Right?
    and 3- the corset… Wowsers! I had to have 6 kids to get my boobs… unfortunately the waist left when the boobs got here… I have waist envy… there I said it, now I can get help.
    Couldn’t have gotten here if not for you, and your corset, and Grover…. oh and SCIENCE!
    .-= Dawn´s last blog ..The Hurrier I go… The Behinder I Get! =-.

  138. Oh, Jenny, there are so many words of wisdom in this one! But I have to say that the picture you and the kitty took whilst trying to display your collective (6? 8?) nipples is priceless. This is when I wish I had a girl-cat; you know, so we could bond over things like Boobquake! My tomcat was a good sport, however, when I chose to prance topless around the house until I actually had to LEAVE it, at which point I wore a sheer t-shirt with no bra. No quakes reported in my region thus far…
    .-= Tatyanna´s last blog ..A Million Words =-.

  142. I ADORE Alone…with cats! Thanks so much for introducing all of us to her! I’m glad you liked her present! Btw, whenever I see those Google search screenshots, I always try them out myself. This time, in addition to most of those, I got “Why won’t god heal amputees,” which is actually a serious question, though it frightens me that upon receiving no response from god, many turn to Google instead….aren’t they the same?

  143. I’m thinking that the most I could hope for from my boobs would be a minor aftershock. Unless Wonderbras contribute? In which case, major devastation.

  144. That’s the first time that one of your little Google phrase finishers didn’t surprise me at all. Also, do you really want people to live in your home that have a problem with James Garfield? You need to put him on the mailbox to weed those people out at the driveway. And how can I say this without being creepy? Your boobs make me happy. (I hope I pulled it off.)
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Search Term Update: shouldn’t have touched my frisby =-.

  145. I didn’t take the time to read through all of the comments so this may just possibly be redundant. I want to answer two of the questions posed by Google searchers.

    I’m pretty sure that your boyfriend won’t propose to you because you’re unwilling to blow him.

  147. Just so you know, Rebecca West—in The Fountain Overflows, one of the most beautiful, literary novels ever—spent something like three pages describing a glass case full of little stuffed animals (stoats?) dressed to resemble major figures in British politics. She said they were really good likenesses, too.

    You have to figure she must have had a real such glass case in her childhood. She could never have made those guys up.
    .-= Victoria Mixon´s last blog ..Philosophizing—Noticing when writing’s bad =-.

  150. Just have to say that both you and your bodacious ta-ta’s are amazing. I’m a newcomer to reading your blog (how did I go so long without it??) and I’ve decided that I want to be you when I grow up. Minus the taxidermy because my fiancee is a hunter and I already have to SLEEP with a dead deer above my head, which has been decorated by my niece with flowers and butterfly hair clips. I’ve lost that battle…ick. We have freezers in our workshed full of the deceased forest creatures who have not yet been taxidermied (?) Want one? Please take them all.

  151. LOVE IT ALL OF IT.

    I am new.

    I am an English Rose and I have spread the word to lots of other English Roses (or a couple of ol witches that I know anyway) your blogg is the best thing I have read since this morning . Most entertaining, I am on the look out for a cat that will balance on my betowelled head much more cost effective than Botox. Bloggess you really are a legend and I don’t feel at all stabby now.

  152. I saw a squirrel eating a donut today. Straight up holding it and eating it. It was one of those plain kinds with the chocolate frosting. Awesome.

  153. Bloggess, my love, I know I’ve told you this before (or have I?), but you’re totally boobquakealicious.

  154. I find the notion of topless squirrels deeply unsettling as it presumes an ongoing and reliable shirtedness on their parts that I know to be false. How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing that inaccuracies of this magnitude are floating around on the Internet unchecked?

    Please advise.

    Your humble servant,

    Anna

    P.S. That sassy little wig suits you, hon.
    .-= Anna Lefler´s last blog ..You’re So Vein. =-.

  157. ok I’ve been a lurker for a while – love your site! But I had to comment on this one….seriously. There was a quake in Texas on the 25th!!! I’m not kidding. I’m a Texas gal myself. And when I read this…omg I almost peed my pants. I also almost farted. 😉

  158. SO. Growing up with taxidermy Mallards and Undefined Deer heads.. I know they are not as fun as COULD BE James Madison and his wacky friends. If you ever need to ship them to NJ, they would have… a…. “em” nice after life hanging out in our place if you ever need to have dead animal baby sitters.

  162. I know I should be talking about how great your blog, boobs, cat are but I’m in love with your bookshelves!

    I’m not a lurker. This is my first time here, so hello and nice to meet you!
    .-= Marisa Birns´s last blog ..Transient =-.

  163. after reading this post, I joined some friends for dinner. i mentioned your Google search illustration of the difference between men and women.

    one of my friends did a Google on “Why won’t…”
    In the top 5, this came up “why won’t my parakeet eat my diarrhea?”
    she followed the search and came to “why won’t my budgie eat my fudgie”

    i don’t mean to perpetuate this, because it seems entirely juvenile… but we laughed our asses off.
    (o.k. … obviously we have the mental groove of a pack of 13 year-old boys).
    .-= The Queer Next Door´s last blog ..Wisteria and Poo =-.

  167. Ok, cats are cool, I’ll admit but GOD DAMN are you hot in the no cat boobquake pic!

  168. Pingback: Nancy W. Kappes (paralegal) is ALIVE. — TheBloggess.com

  169. This entertained me greatly, so I put a link to it on my facebook page.

    Dude From High School: Yeah, I love that exposing your breasts will apparently cause an earthquake. Seems like an unfair superpower for you to have.

    Message I later got from Random Guy who apparently knows Dude From High School: Actually, boobs, or viewing them, significantly lowers the blood pressure according to psychological studies. (Don’t make me go through the “what studies thing,” I can but I haven’t enough years left to mess with it.) Take my word.

    My response to Random Guy: Interesting! I still probably won’t try that out on my patients having hypertensive crises (I’m a paramedic). I suppose if it comes down to it and the drugs don’t work or they’re allergic, it could always be a last ditch effort. Actually, the fire department and my partner would probably love this method of treatment. I’m kind of shocked my medical director hasn’t written it in our protocols.
    .-= nctaffy´s last blog ..Zombie =-.

  171. So, as always when I read your stuff, I have to follow the links and/or try out the searches on my own. And what did I find out when I typed “Why won’t” into Google? I found the links you had here, plus a few more that were notable, including “Why won’t the baby stop crying?” Well, I guess he got around to marrying her. Probably because she finally blew him. Or maybe not. Who knows.

    The other notable link– “Why won’t God heal amputees?” Good question, random stranger. Good question.

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