Me: I bought a rug for the living room.
Victor: Oh. It’s okay.
me: It’s “okay?” It’s awesome.
Victor: Really? Is it bulletproof?
me: Um…no? But it matches the couch.
Victor: Well, clearly we have very different standards.
And now for my weekly wrap-up of shit-I-did-this-week-when-wasn’t-here:
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
This week on the internets:
- Started the #FURIOUSLYHAPPY movement. It exploded all over everything like a volcano of joy and denial. And it was awesome.
- Officially announced that my first book of memoirs will be published by Amy Einhorn Books/Putnam (an imprint of Penguin). They won’t come out for at least a year though because “as we told you before, we still don’t have the technology to print books before they’re written. Please stop asking and send me some more chapters“. It’s like we’re living in the fucking Stone Age, y’all.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
This week’s wrap-up sponsored by Elizabeth of Flourish in Progress, who has
committed to a full year of not spending money on anything non-essential,
except that she *did* just buy this ad so it’s possible that I just fucked
up her whole year. Which would be totally like me, really. I’m a
terrible influence. But technically this is the same woman who recently
shoplifted from her eye doctor and accidentally ridiculed Jesus’ nose so
it’s not exactly like I’m defiling a saint here. Stop judging me.