I went to pick up the mail in my post office box and the clerk handed me the gift you sent me. I realize that you market your penis-reduction-pills as ego-boosters for men but when you’re a girl who has to sign for a box that has “PENIS REDUCTION PILLS” stamped on every visible surface it kind of has exactly the opposite effect.
Conversation I had with the guy giving me the package:
Him: So. How are those working out for you?
me: What? Oh. It’s not for my penis.
me: I mean, I don’t even have a penis.
me: I’ve never had a penis.
him: You don’t have to explain it to me, ma’am. Have a nice day.
And this is why I can never go back to that post office again.
I blame you, Keith.