Just say no.

in no one thinks this is funny but me, Random Crap

Remember a few days ago when I was baffleded by all those people who found my blog searching for “What size shirt would a 20lb cat wear”?  Well now there are even more people finding my blog that way because I’ve created some sort of self-fullfilling prophecy by blogging about it and now I feel responsible for saving all those cats so I took a quick break this morning and made them a shirt at my store.  They didn’t have a model with a cat face so I photoshopped Ferris Mewlers face on it.

Click the picture to read the back.

You can order your shirt by clicking here.  Then, for the love of God, take a picture of your pet wearing it and send it to everyone you know as a warning.

It’s all about awareness, people.

 

128 thoughts on “Just say no.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I’m wondering if you could provide some guidance. I see that you have 6 month, 12 month, etc. sizes. Which of those sizes would be most appropriate for, say, a 20 pound cat?

  5. If I got this shirt for my cat and put it on her, I probably would have any fingers left. But I guess my hubby could always take the photo.

  6. I love that your cat’s name is Ferris Mewler – mine’s Dweezil (after Zappa)
    At least now there will be an image when they come here after searching shirts for 20lb cats!

  7. rofl!

    When I was little, like 10 years old, my overweight cat got tortured regularly by my dressing him up in baby clothes. But, ummm, I was a CHILD. lol

    Another question that should be answered. How does a cat weigh TWENTY pounds? That’s HUGE. Maybe another shirt that says “And put me on a diet, quick!” or something like that. Maybe on the back of this shirt?

  9. So Um not that I would know but zazzle also has actual pet clothes.

    This shirt is amazing. I’m getting one and putting both of my 10 lb cats in it. I expect it will end really well.

  11. My cat is dead. Thinking about my dead, decomposing kitty in a tshirt made me sob. Nice way to ruin my day.

  13. Ferris Mewler’s absurdly short arms were the most confusing part of this post. Then I realized that he’s apparently half infant. Blue is *definitely* his color.

  16. I am so buying this shirt for my brother and their poor Bull Mastiff who they dress in sweaters. He looks miserable, as if the last remaining vestige of his manhood has been taken away.

    Thank you for your brilliance.

  17. My 80 and 90 pound pups would look fantastic in that for a moment until they tried to free each other from the restraints of clothing. All animals should be naked flaunting their junk all over the place.

  18. LOL !!!! Im just wondering which one of my three cats would not tear me to shreds if I tried to put this on them.

  20. There are a bunch of 20lb cats behind my house in the forest. Some jackass in a pick up truck with nothing better to do comes by on the daily and feeds the little buggers. I’d buy them t-shirts but the next step would be building a kitty hotel back there and then there would be kitty hookers and probably cat-crack and little crackkitties being born all over the damn place. Do you see what you’ve started, Jenny?

  21. Wouldn’t a 20 pound cat be humiliated enough just by being overweight? If I dared to put that on my cat I would be shredded and sprayed, though quite justifiably. A visit from Animal Control should come along with each cat shirt order. Seriously. Dig the back, but please tell me they don’t come in hot pink with rhinestone embellishments…

  22. You must go look at Zazzle’s other suggestions for things you might like based on interest in your cat t-shirt. There’s a very embarrassed looking dog in a Free Mason shirt that says, “My Master is a Mason I call him Master Mason.” No joke.

  25. Cats are meant to be naked. I mean, they’re already wearing fur. Try getting some rich lady to wear a T-shirt over her fur coat – it would be ridiculous!

    That said, all our cats had to wear doll dresses at some point when we were kids. But we didn’t know better. And we did it as a hazing ritual.

  26. Seriously? Who on earth has an obese cat, thinks to themselves “I want to squeeze them into some little tight clothing to make them even more uncomfortable,” and then google’s it?

    At least the cat will have some attitude.

  27. Someone googled ‘dinosaur vagina’ (twice!) and ended up on my site. That was definitely a “…the hell?” kind of moment. (And fair warning: don’t google it for yourself unless you want your eyeballs to melt out of your skull. Seriously. It’s no bueno.)

  29. If I may offer a suggestion that may have already been suggested: can the shirt say “right MREOW” for “right now”?

  31. It’s all about spreading the message. That’s why I come here…I need to know what’s going on out there!!!

  33. I haven’t got a spare 20 bucks for a cat-shirt so can I just photoshop MY cats head onto this picture as a warning? I could do a cool multi-headed demon cat with all my cats heads. Wouldn’t that be cool?

    I’ve been getting awesome search terms this week, like ‘foghorn leghorn tattoo penis’ and ‘Scott Stapp is a Douche’

  36. My daughter’s cat, Ziggy Stardust (one green eye and one blue), wears shirts, hoodies, and skirts. She’s kind of a badass that way. I agree, however, that animals probably shouldn’t wear clothes since they can’t talk and compliment each others outfits, which is really the only reason people wear clothes, no?

  37. If I had a child I’d send you a picture of it wearing the shirt but I’d photoshop in cat arms.

  38. –>I think you could make a second version that says, “Great, now I’m down to 8 lives and all I got was this fucking t-shirt.”

  40. Spoke to the wife and I think she is ok with us getting this shirt and putting our son in it. We would dress up a animal, but I think stealing our neighbors dog, and taking pictures of it in the shirt might be a bit misleading.

    We don’t want to have to explain to the cops *AGAIN* that we aren’t kidnapping anyone… just helping to diversify the neighborhood.

  42. geebus, I hope the Rev on 13 doesn’t see this- she’s already got the night terrors from oompa loompa, no telling what this will do.

  43. I was feeling sad for the animals whose people put them in clothes. Then I started thinking about my 2 boys and some of the awful outfits I’ve made them wear. And how I will show their future girlfriends the pics of those embarassing/adorable outfits. So now I’m not sure who I feel worse for…other people’s animals (’cause lord knows I’d never make my own dog wear clothes), or my own kids. It’s a toss up.

  44. I’m actually a little terrified by the picture. It looks like something that should be on the cover of Weekly World News with the headline, “Freakish Feline-Baby Found in Finland!” Or, you know, something like that…

  45. I like that you’re pretending you’re writing a book and not holed up in a lab somewhere creating mutant cat-baby hybrids as clearly shown in this picture.
    I’m on to you, Jenny. “Photoshopped.” Yeah right.

  47. So i order to make people aware of the fact that they shouldn’t put thier animals in a t-shirt you want us to put our animals in your t-shirt…I’m not saying, I’m just saying

  48. Every time I see one of your t-shirts I wish I had a pile of money sitting aside for the sole purpose of purchasing t-shirts from The Bloggess. But, sadly, I don’t.

  49. That’s all very well and good but what do you have for a 50 lb. English bulldog? Huh? Huh? That’s what I thought. (My dog would try to kill me if I actually tried to put clothes on her so maybe it’s just as well.)

  50. I cannot buy this tee for either of my cats. They would never call me “asshole.”

    (Their glares imply that they would refer to me as “punk-ass bitch.”)

  51. Being a dog person,I had no idea cats would put up with such. From what I know about cats though I’m thinking the sentiment would be very apropos.

  52. Excellent! I bet may Papillon would look adorable in this. Of course, he’d be plotting my murder while wearing it, but still. He’s got tiny teeth so I think I’d be OK.

  56. I wish these shirts came in children’s sizes. My husband is deathly allergic to cats, including 20 lb. ones, and all we have is a 65 lb. dog. My dog needs this shirt.

  57. I take my last comment back. I found the children’s sizes. I wonder if I can ‘convince’ my 65 lb. wein to wear a shirt…

  58. If we start putting cats in clothes, they will start expecting other cats to be dressed properly for social occasions, and then there will be cat class hierarchy, and frankly I don’t need to see my cats putting on airs. They live in Cleveland, not 5th Ave.

  62. If your dog is nursing puppies please have her put on a bra before you snap the picture. It will make her feel better about herself.

  65. Ferris Mewler, may be THE BEST cat name EVER!!!

    There’s a Terminator joke in this post somewhere. There is time travel involved, and somehow you created those search terms from last week by posting about it this week… Or something.

  67. It may take awhile,…and plenty of bandaids….but I’ll do my best to please you….”Here kitty, kitty..”

  69. I think I spend too much time on Facebook. I wanted to “like” this without putting forth any effort but was unable to so now I’m typing this.

  71. So, my cat weighs in at a hefty 17 pounds. Would he fit into this shirt? I also feel like I should mention that he’s not a fat cat, he’s part leopard so he’s actually just really big for a cat. Take a regular cat and put it in the bigger-izer and that’s my cat. He’s definitely more slender than a baby. Do you happen to carry the little plastic things that were so popular in the 80’s that I could thread the bottom of the shirt through to pull it tight around his body so he doesn’t get mad at me for buying him and oversized shirt?

  73. Screw the obese cat, I want to wear that shirt. Do you have any in 200+ pound obese Cat size?

  74. I have a fat weinerdog who detests clothes. The time I tried to dress her as a pumpkin for Halloween resulted in hours of inconsolable sulky face that broke my heart. That didn’t stop me from dressing her as Mrs. Clause, and a bumblebee, but I felt very sorry every time I did it, just like she feels very sorry every time she steals my entire dinner and eats it in 0.0003 seconds while my back is turned.

    You eat my dinner, you wear the pumpkin costume. Criss-cross!

  76. Oh. My. God. That picture is killing me. I am not a big fan of cats and decided years ago that I was definitely OUT of the baby making business but that photo gives me a strange desire to both get knocked up AND purchase a cat.

    And I’m allergic to cats. And babies.

    Not really. I love babies. As long as I’m not the one cleaning the poop off of them. I’m allergic to baby poop.

  78. And people why cats have such attitudes…..if you were forcing me to wear clothing that I didn’t want to wear I’d have an attitude too. Oh wait……THAT explains my bitchiness!

  79. You have a bunch of babies wearing a shirt that says “Take this shirt off of me.”

    Methinks you’re going to be getting an ENTIREEEEELY new demographic from this.

  80. That is the perfect tshirt for someone who is as big of an asshole as to dress their feline in clothing. (I bet those people have stock in bandaids…)

  81. I think you are missing a marketing ply here, tee-shirts for the casual cat, lingere for the slutty cats, sweats for the cats that just don’t cat anymore and have lost the will to try, suits for the male cats and the lesbian cats, etc…

  82. I have a 28lb cat. I’m tempted to buy a shirt and put it on him even though he may smother me in my sleep.

  83. Love this shirt so much. People that dress up cats are a-holes. Seriously, you wouldn’t put a shirt on a cheetah…your cat is just a mini-cheetah. Remember they could kill you, they just choose not to…unless you forget the fancy feast, then game off.

    First time commenter, but a long-time fan. Brown-nosing jerk signing out now.

  85. I love the idea, and you do know Zazzle has pet clothing options available? Not sure if it would be even more of an abomination to have a dog face on the model if you’re trying for cat wear, but at least it’s sized per pound.

    My 8 pound cat, declawed lo these many years, would draw a good pint of blood off me if I tried to stuff her in any sort of shirt. Power to the people!

    Now quit fucking around and go work on your book. I’m dying to read it. Love ya!

  86. My cat is only 15 pounds, not 20, so I’m still not sure what size shirt he needs. Although . . . he’s a tuxedo cat. You can’t really put a t-shirt on a cat that looks like James Bond.

  88. The same thing has happened to me, only about pee. I blogged about peeing standing up one time and then I blogged about sexy incontinence thongs and then next thing I knew…BAM! Next thing I know, I’m the queen of pee.

  89. wait…but now, instead of just laughing at the funny posts about cats in shirts, I might actually have to consider what size shirt my cat would wear. You’re making me become one of them!!

  92. I was about to order so that I could take a picture of Gremlin wearing it, but I don’t know what size to order for a 7 lb. cat? Love it!

  93. Your are hilarious. I just wish I could share half your shit with half the people i know…the problem with leading a double life.

  96. Can you guarantee me that this will fit a 24 pound cat? Because if I wrestle the beast that lives in my house into this thing and his muffin top is showing, he will eat my eyes out when I am sleeping and then I wouldn’t be able to read your blog and would have to have my 5 year old read it out loud to me and then he’d be scarred for life and then I’d have to force you to pay his therapy bills – all this over a tshirt and no one wants that.

  101. i have four cats. none of whom wear clothes on a regular basis….

    ….until now. my biggest kitteh is only 13 pounds though. smallest is 9. i’m thinking i should get it small so it makes my biggest kitteh look huge.

  103. I have an irrationally strong urge to buy this t-shirt for myself in an adult size and wear it out in the Castro some night. Not only would it look awesome, but I would appear completely and utterly bonkers, especially with the back text.

  104. So if animals in shirts are an abomination, what is it when I put my dog in costumes?? He’s been a devil, an angel, a sheriff, a squirrel and a Super Winston.

  105. When my daughter was little we had a cat that would bite and scratch if we tried to pick her up. Except when Beth picked her up. Then she would passively let Beth drag her around the house. Beth would even put her baby t-shirts on her and Bounder would just sit there with a look on her face like, “I adore you Beth. You are my BFF.” Unfortunately Bounder has passed. But we do have a big fat cat (a rescue who we are trying to reduce in weight) who worships Beth. When Beth is home she sleeps in Beth’s room (too fat to jump on the bed) and when Beth is away at college, she sits in the living room waiting for her to get home. What is it about Beth and cats? I’m not sure but a recent search that found my site was, “my daughter is a witch.”

    P.S. I wonder what site is getting all the hits for, “What size shirt would a 25lb cat wear”?

  108. I like Cory’s suggestion of chaning now to MEOW.
    That way you’re pretty sure the shirt is for a cat.
    If you were just going by the text, I’d guess it was for a slutty co-ed.

  109. our 20 pound cat recently lost 4 pounds. No not with the lap band, I don;t care what the tabloids are saying,, its not true. Anyway, now we need a whole new wardrobe for him. This is as good as any a place to begin, no?

  110. I hope the 20lb cats of this world appreciate all you have done to save them from the ignominy of clothes wearing. Knowing cats though they’re probably all hussy and scratchy and petulant unless they’re being worshipped.

  111. I would bleed large quanties if i tried to put that on my cat. And as I bled my cat would taunt me like he does his other play things before he kills them!

  112. Next time you need a cat model, CALL ME. I have this neighbor… with lots of cats… well… that part doesn’t matter. Just call me. And don’t ask questions.

  113. So how many people are looking for shirts for their 20 pound cats? Kind of makes me wonder if there isn’t a business opportunity here…

  117. 1) I have a cat who weighs 17lbs. He’s not fat, he’s just gigantic in length and height, he’ll he’s over 3ft long from nose to tail.

    2) I think I’d rather buy one of these for my kids and see how many strange looks I get.

  119. people have found my website by googling “slut but” and “can i cum in her ass to avoid pregnancy?”

    i’m guessing they were pretty freakin’ pissed when they found my website on female empowerment.

  120. OMG! I can’t tell if the post or the comments are funnier!

    *tears streaming down my face as I pee my pants laughing*

  121. Ahh…I just thought of another great, but impractical idea! Cat SHOES! And that would probably sell really well to the cat t-shirt crowd…lol

  122. LOL! great idea!!! im trying to think of another sentence to cat’s shirt – maybe “im so cute with this shirt”

  123. This is why I don’t have cats. Because they would be 20 pounds and I would dress them in t-shirts.

  124. Somebody found my blog by asking Google “Why did my bunny suddenly attack me”? I’m thinking that they probably put their bunny in a shirt. (Then again, most bunnies are assholes even without shirts.)

    This shirt, however? Awesome. I would totally put it on my super retard cat just to spite him. Then I would have to Google “Why did my super retard cat suddenly attack me” to bring things full circle.

  126. Even though I would try and force this over the head of a wriggling feline, mine would likely try to remove my hand from my forearm with her back feet. She’s been holding a grudge since I forced her into a Winnie The Pooh costume a few years ago.

    That being said, I would totally buy this shirt for my infant niece and then take her out in public with it on. Let little old ladies coo at her till they read the shirt and back away with a look of disgust on their faces. That’s how I roll.

  127. I love that shirt a whole lot- I even considered buying it for my toddler, but then I saw the back and I don’t think I want anyone to steal him, so I’m gonna have to buy one for my neighbor’s pet tortoise, so someone steals it and my dog can stop barking at it for cry eye.

  128. Pingback: If my t-shirt got your baby stolen then I apologize (on behalf of the t-shirt). — TheBloggess.com

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