Why yes, actually, I do turn everything to shit.

I’m a little addicted to pinterest, but I find myself even more addicted to taking the sweet posters that are pinned there and horribly fucking with them.  It probably says something very unflattering about my personality.

Case in point, the very first poster I found on pinterest.  And the two others I made to go with it.

I have a problem.  I realize that.

 

(The first poster was unsourced.  If you know who made it let me know and I'll credit them.)

Ps. I’m still in Alaska and spent the day watching whales. Then I was attacked by a bear on a cruiseship. I’d write more but I keep losing my internet connection. Probably from all the blood on this laptop.

More soon…probably.

162 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Hahahaha. Those cheesy posters deserve it.

    Like

    Kez recently posted Modern Day Etiquette: What advice would YOU give?.

  2. 2
    Guineapigdude

    more blood on the laptop, or posts?
    Also, i have relatives in Alaska, its really nice, try out the Alaska sea life center, they have a bunch of awesome exhibits. heres the link http://www.alaskasealife.org/New/visitors/index.php?page=firstpage.php to the website, can’t remember where it was though, it was a long drive from anchorage.

    And yes, i actually have been there, there is also the saturday sunday sale in anchorage.
    http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/North_America/United_States_of_America/Alaska/Anchorage-737634/Things_To_Do-Anchorage-Saturday_Market-BR-1.html
    you can even get reindeer hotdogs!

    Like

  3. Why would you let a bear attack you on a cruise ship? I mean, if you stumbled upon it in the bathroom, I could understand. Bears are very territorial, and we all know bathrooms are like honey to bears… Okay I think I got off my point. Anyway, pro tip: don’t let bears attack you on a cruise ship. There’s plenty of time for that in Alaska. Booze+bleeding=bad.

    Like

    HNtG recently posted Taken the Rift to Telara: Levels 1-20.

  4. Wait… Maybe we need to hear the whole story. Were you attacked by a bear on your own cruise ship, or were you attacked by a rival cruise ship captained by a bear? Because, I could totally see how that wasn’t your fault.

    Like

    HNtG recently posted Taken the Rift to Telara: Levels 1-20.

  5. 5
    Guineapigdude

    did you fend off the bear with you’r laptop?

    Like

  6. I remember once seeing this cute little poster that had a picture of a flower with the text, “If friends were flowers, I’d pick you.” I immediately thought, “But you KILL flowers when you pick them!”‘

    I definitely like the way you think.🙂

    Like

  7. 7
    craig @09thehippy

    Probably best to stay in Alaska for a while. Texas is in the grip of a heat wave and the economy has collapsed. Also Lisa Galaviz lost her mind for a bit during some sort of existential crisis about the universe or something. Whoremonger is offering her support.

    Like

  8. Being attacked by a bear sounds bad.

    Like

    Veronica recently posted Huh, would seem that the Jordan River is a little flooded.

  9. I think I would like a set to hang in my bedroom. nothing says romanace like a little verbal slap.

    also, how many times have people told you, don’t steal the baby bear from the mama bear. I know you like to collect interesting animals and all, but jeez. maybe copernicus needs to step in and *hug* someone.

    Like

    @OutofGoldStars recently posted this is a poop post.

  10. I bet that bear was just trying to get away from all those whales.

    Like

    Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted Time to panic, because I haven’t found a Martian yet..

  11. Not so much to The Bloggess, but wonderful and mysterious craig@09thehippy…. what? Now I have to google supportive whoremonger and that’s not exactly going to fancy up my internet history. Plus I probably won’t find it at all. Why do you not have links to something?

    Like

    LadyV recently posted Maniacally rubbing my kitchen counters.

  12. LadyV, given that I don’t personally care about my own browsing history, I chose to take the bullet for you.

    Perhaps this link might be a good starting point: http://twitter.com/#!/lgalaviz/status/84265747047649280

    Like

  13. I can’t wait to find out how the bear ends up being the center of a disagreement with Victor…

    Like

  14. Hoping you vanquish the bear and that there’s a shipboard taxidermist around — like Doc, except with sawdust. What an addition to your collection a bear would be.

    Like

    Stephanie Smirnov recently posted Matryoshka Monday: “Russian Dolls” Edition.

  15. 16
    craig @09thehippy

    @ LadyV
    Hahaha. Sorry to mess with your internet history. You know that is how Santa checks to see if you have been naughty or nice. You can find both @Lgalaviz and @Whoremongers on twitter. And probably Santa. He is very 2.0 that way.

    Like

  16. Need this as my profile picture.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate,
    Tiffany

    Like

    Tiffany recently posted I Joined A Cult.

  17. You have the most awesome evil mind in the world. I bow down to your evilness.

    Like

    Denise recently posted Sunday Random Round-Up.

  18. And be careful of the “attack moose” which are well known in Alaska. Once they smell the blood from the bear attack…..well, it’s only a matter of time.

    Like

  19. Pinterest is another way judge your friends tastes…. I love it!

    Like

  20. Are you sure it was a bear? There’s a lot of fat, smelly, hairy passengers on cruise ships ya know.

    Like

    If I Were God... recently posted Apparently "best of wife spanks husband" LEADS TO ME.

  21. I wanted to take the poster with the runner saying “you will regret eating that cookie you will not regret running that mile” and photoshop some zombies in the background. I think that would really send a better message home.

    Like

  22. Love the poster series. I’d like to order them for my husband’s office. He is a Certified Financial Planner. I’m his alcoholic trophy wife with fake boobs.

    Not all of that is true, but it makes it sound a lot more interesting, doesn’t it?

    And aren’t you glad it wasn’t a chupacabra? I bet they carry germs. And rabies. Good thing it was only a bear.

    Like

  23. Love the poster series. I’d like to order them for my husband’s office. He is a Certified Financial Planner. I’m his alcoholic trophy wife with fake boobs.

    Not all of that is true, but it makes it sound a lot more interesting, doesn’t it?

    And aren’t you glad it wasn’t a chupacabra? I bet they carry germs. And rabies. Good thing it was only a bear.

    PS – Yes. I entered this twice. Because I didn’t type in my own blog address correctly. And now I bet you know which part of my story above is correct. . .

    Like

  24. Yep. Definininitely know now. sigh hic

    Like

    carolyn recently posted Let's Face It - The Following Website is *Brilliant*....

  25. You’re on a gay cruise?

    Like

    Elly Lou recently posted Sometimes Customer Service Rocks.

  26. lol
    Love it! It’s exactly the way I felt yesterday. I think you may have tapped into my mind somehow…creeeeepy.🙂

    Like

    Tattoo My Heart recently posted Hard Day to Be Alone.

  27. I’d say it’s an improvement on that particular poster, actually.

    Like

    Jaime recently posted When he starts kindergarten I’ll probably have to be committed.

  28. I had to pin this. Just cuz.

    Like

    stacey@Havoc&Mayhem recently posted Wordy Wednesday.

  29. I also have a Pinterest addiction AND may need to buy those prints you just made.

    Also, tell Sarah Palin hi.

    Kidding. I hate her.

    Like

    Jules recently posted I Left BlogHer with Six Pack Abs.

  30. Not even three years ago, I launched a major campaign to keep bears off of cruise ships. Not just because they smell like shit (literally) but because they’re always up late, partying, making noise, and being generally destructive.

    Like

  31. May you be lucky enough to see something like this while watching whales: http://animalsbeingdicks.com/post/8426793570/high-five

    Like

  32. Forgot to add that I’m taking the campaign up again. This is just getting out of control. Out. of. fucking. control.

    Like

    Momma Teacher Lady recently posted No More Movies, Kid.

  33. LOLOLOLOLOL I love it! Great fix!

    Like

    Amanda @FancyOatmeal recently posted Finally Getting It Out.

  34. My cousin is actually on a cruise ship in Alaska right now…and is is a big as a fucking bear. If he attacked you, I apologize, but damn you better abandon ship when his wife finds out.

    Like

    Vinobaby recently posted Summer Fun: Gone Wild and Retro.

  35. It always makes me intensely happy to see other people as annoyed as I am at cheesy overly sentimental quotes/posters/tweets.

    I think I’ve unfollowed about 100 people because or their incessant posting about how amazing life is and how happy they are to have air and birds and jesus.

    I keep a list of their names so I can backhand them one day and then see if they still tweet about how amazing it is to connect with people.

    Like

    Lady B recently posted I’m freaking out about debt ceilings and stock markets..

  36. Oh – such a novice. You didn’t pack that spray to repel bears. It’s in the same aisle as the one for mosquitos. Or you could wear a Sarah Palin mask. They are terrified of her up there.

    Like

    Clarissa recently posted Cleaning - really?!.

  37. Since when is awesomeness a problem?

    Seriously, you should make that into a greeting card or somethnig in your store!

    Like

    SisterMerryHellish recently posted Lying To Pants.

  38. Becareful.

    Laptop bears are deadly.

    Like

    Ed Adams recently posted DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS: Parental Chat Edition.

  39. Went to Alaska last summer…saw lots of bears and whales…but what REALLY scared me were the moose…er mooses….moosi??? Whatever you call them, I just remember they were WAY bigger than I had originally anticipated. Like Clydesdale horses on stilts. And they got a kick out of playing chicken in downhill traffic on the mountainside. BEWARE THE MOOSI!!

    Like

  40. –>I would add to the first poster, “You’re the barf in my toilet.”

    http://www.WebSavvyMom.com

    Like

    WebSavvyMom recently posted 10 Guarantees about Teenagers in my House.

  41. SURVIVAL TIP:

    Throw peanuts and milk at the bear when he attacks – you never know if he’s allergic or lactose intolerant.

    Like

    moooooog35 recently posted Ummm....Did I Do That?.

  42. You are the ointment to my breakout, the toilet to my projectile vomit and the Glade spray to my flatulence.

    Julie
    ilikebeerandbabies.com

    Like

    Julie recently posted Testes, Testes. One, two...three?.

  43. They have bears on the cruise ships?! That ends my decision making over Bahamas or Alaskan Cruise…Were taking the Alaska Cruise! Awesome!

    Like

    The Escrow Goddess recently posted Retirement for White Dog and Introducing Replacement Dog.

  44. Tell me you were on the cruise ship that almost had a glacier fall on it. Please.❤

    Like

    Stephanie recently posted I’m Tweeting! I’m Tweeting!.

  45. I need this in my living room!!! My best friend is lactose intolerant and allergic to peanuts. She would love it!

    Like

  46. That sounds like something I would do. I respect your irreverence. Also, I hope you that the first poster isn’t super-copywrited, because that would make an awesome tri-fold card. For like, a bar mitzvah or something.

    Are peanuts kosher?

    Like

    Allison recently posted Revising, Rewriting, and Banging My Head Against a Wall.

  47. What kind of bear? Was it a panda bear? Pandas are my favorite.

    Like

    Kristen recently posted Pieces..

  48. Blood on the laptop? I don’t think taking the battery out and then setting the laptop deep into a bowl of rice is the best solution here. Are there vampires on that ship?

    Like

    tokenblogger recently posted More chocolate than chocolate….

  49. If you had a vampire laptop this wouldn’t be a problem. I’m just saying maybe you should think about being more prepared for these things.

    Like

    Kitten Thunder's Girl recently posted Sheri’s Cafe.

  50. Glad you’re still away from all the unrelenting heat in these parts. Out son in Austin says “It’s hot as balls..” Not really sure what that means, but I think he’s right; and according to what I just heard there’s no rain predicted for any of us til October.

    Like

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted She coulda been a lady Tarzan.

  51. Man, I hate it when I am on a cruise ship and a bear attacks. That is the kind of crap that can really ruin your day.

    Like

    Johi recently posted Injuring myself without the fun of Adrenaline.

  52. Finally I have a place to properly display my Breakfast Cthulu picture!

    Like

    kettletop recently posted Hello Darkness.

  53. How lucky you are! Attacked by a bear??? How romantic, what Alaska should be about….oh wait…why was a bear on a cruise ship??

    Like

  54. Hey, you’re just saying what you need to say and being honest! Hope the bear didn’t maul you too bad….

    Like

  55. Fuck the bear

    Like

    Erica recently posted How to Look Sexy at the Beach.

  56. Yeah. The inspirational word image things that take over my pin wall make me gag at times. Also, some of them I really like. But I refuse to give into the quote boards and get one of my own! Hard-headed 4 eva.

    Like

    Kaley recently posted Guest Post - Emma's Stateside Travels.

  57. Bears only board cruise ships for Vicodin and vodka. To placate, you must medicate.

    Like

    Jonah Gibson recently posted Fiddlin'.

  58. Those are beyond fantastic.

    Like

    [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. recently posted [SWOON] What I'm Loving Wednesday!.

  59. How on earth did you go on a cruise without Copernicus? I am sure one look at him and a bear would have been afraid of whatever makes his face do that…

    He could have been the life saving life taking leprosy monkey after that. It would have added to his awesomeness !

    Like

    Michelle recently posted What were they thinking?.

  60. Don’t say I didn’t warn you about the bears. My daughters and I are going school shopping this week so of course I’ll be packing on that trip. Because, you know; all the bears roaming the malls. Most of them are fine if they’ve had their coffee but there’s always a rogue. Or two…

    Like

    Pauline recently posted People: Brave Benbow.

  61. Bears mauling are increasing on cruise ships every year and yet the failed Obama administration is doing NOTHING about the ursine problem!

    Like

    Betty Fokker recently posted More proof diets suck goats.

  62. I have a terrible addiction to Pinterest. I may go to rehab soon.

    I am insanely jealous of you being in cool weather. At 8:45 this morning it was 95 degrees and 100% humidity. Gotta love southeast texas

    Like

    Nikki recently posted The Catfish Whisperer.

  63. I am lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to peanuts and I love it! I sort of want to hang these as a series in my house.

    Like

    Teacher Girl recently posted Just do it already.

  64. That’s it. I’m joining pinterest just so I can see what kind of fucked up things you’re finding.

    Like

    Carri recently posted And That’s The Reason My Name Sucks.

  65. Love it!!!
    You are the best to my friend… better then breast to my chest I guess.

    Like

    Tabitha@ life of the chefs wife recently posted What you should know about Us..

  66. Perhaps you accidentally took a cruise on a bear ship.
    I’ve missed you terribly. Hiding in your house isn’t the same without you here.

    Like

    Julie the Wife recently posted Day 9 - Meh..

  67. I just got back from Alaska! Tell the bears I said hi. And I want my fingers back.

    Like

    andi recently posted Launching Rockets with Gravity Groms.

  68. I’m pinning you shit, so you don’t have to break pinterest etiquette and pin your own shit. Also, I’m just pinning it because it’s made of awesome.

    You’re welcome.

    Like

    Rachel recently posted Is the end near??? Did I miss the memo?.

  69. No, not a sickness.

    Some folks just need the maudlin sentimentality beat out of them with a hammer of sarcasm.

    Or a cruiseship mangling bear.

    Whatever is most convenient.

    Like

    Rebecca recently posted Advice from a Wedding Coordinator:.

  70. Between facebooking, googling, tweeting, and pinning, I rarely have time for working.

    Like

    Teresa M. Owen recently posted I Married A Critter Whisperer.

  71. What happened? Were you eating salmon and they got all mad?

    I tried Pinterest but just don’t get it.

    Like

    Polish Mama on the Prairie recently posted Wordless Wednesday: Infant Jesus of Prague Statue Tradition.

  72. Oh, come on now…you’ve got it backwards. You turn shit to complete awesomeness!

    Like

    Cheryl M. recently posted 30 Day Blog Challenge – #11 Put Your iPod on Shuffle and List the Top 10 Songs.

  73. Oh awesome. I recently jumped on the pinterest bandwagon but i haven’t been able to figure out what the hell to do with it.

    Now I know.

    Like

    Cathy recently posted Awkward Photojournalism.

  74. Oh. Em. Gee. I hope the bear survived the ass-kicking that Copernicus rained down on its ass! Unless you’re talking about a big, hairy gay guy, then I hope he’s your new Best! Friend! Ever! Or, at least, your best cruise friend. Because no cruise is complete without a big, hairy gay guy to watch the crappy Vegas wanna-be shows with.

    Like

    Jen recently posted Ants Are Nasty Ass Bastards But This Time It Wasn’t Dan’s Fault.

  75. I hope by more soon… you meant signs. That’s funny. LOLOLZ I am completely and utterly addicted to Pinterest. It makes me want to get up in the morning.

    Like

    Craftwhack recently posted The Little Mister.

  76. I am not sure why blood on the laptop is a problem but whatever….

    Like

    "Susan Says..." recently posted There Are No Boobs Mentioned At All in Today's Post (It's Just Another One About My Kids, Cats and Politics).

  77. Pinterest is my new crack which replaced my old crack, Facebook. Which replaced my old old crack, yahoo chat rooms. Which replaced my old old old crack, crack.

    Like

  78. Where was his boyfriend? Just sayin. I would hate for you to get in the middle of a spat between a man and his bear. Plus, hello, I don’t know any bears on the fence. What was he doing nibbling on you? You have too many outtie-parts.

    Like

  79. And this is exactly why I follow you on Pinterest.

    Like

    Mads recently posted Family Favorite Recipe: Pesto.

  80. Pinterest is a dangerous place. Possibly more dangerous than facebook, because you can never run out of new stuff to search for.

    Like

    Sally recently posted Cleaning.

  81. Really hoping you survive your cruise, but if you don’t, I’d bet that your blog from the grave would be just as good if not better.

    Jenna
    momofmanyhats.blogspot.com

    Like

    Jenna recently posted It took me two weeks to wrap my mind around this..

  82. hahaha – your posts always seem to brighten my day.

    have fun in alaskaaaa😉

    Like

    Emily @ Living & Learning recently posted Oldies but Goodies.

  83. did you try to hug the bear? or dance with it? bears don’t like to be hugged or danced with

    Like

  84. I’m pretty sure the only reason for posting something creative online, is so that others are open and free to mock it.

    Like

    Anna recently posted Minion 2 Mows The Lawn.

  85. God Damn I knew I was using that Pinterest website all wrong. I wanted to “PIN” a picture of an elephant pooping the other day but couldn’t decide what category to put it under. Sigh. Life’s little details.

    Like

    Becca recently posted FuCk YoU Nun Nazi, FUCK YOU..

  86. If you are going through Seattle on your way back to Texas, can I buy you a drink? A co-worker introduced me to your blog and it’s not my favorite obsession!

    I sent the post about Beyonce to my boyfriend who proceeded to send it to his entire office. His co-worker bought her own lifesized Beyonce and took a picture to pass around. It’s now my screen saver🙂

    Like

  87. Hey, have to tell you: you were the kindest, most genuine person to everyone that waited in line to meet you at The People’s Party.

    I can’t imagine what that feels like: to see person after person just waiting for two seconds with you.

    And you never lost your sparkle with every one. They’d wait, and you’d treat them like they were the first one you met.

    I have no words for you, you’re so genuine: that it brings a lump to my throat.

    You are something.

    Like

    Alexandra recently posted I Went To BlogHer and Got Some Sexy Healthy Oh!Shoes.

  88. If you happened to be disembarking out of Seattle on your return…AND you feel the need to get away from the family for an hour or two after being cooped up with them in crowded boat/tiny room, my gal friends and I would love to host you to drinks – you can be assured of lots of fawning (and free wine) – we are big fans of your blog.

    Like

  89. OMG you’re HILARIOUS!! I totally happened upon you by accident and now I can’t get enough of your blog; thanks for turning a horribly boring day of lease review (yawn) into a laugh fest…

    Like

  90. Holy hell bears on a motherfucking cruise!?!

    It’s like the Alaskan version of Snakes on a Plane, but with more teeth. And claws. And legs.

    Like

  91. Yeah! A new hobby for me! I don’t have to wait for a friend to slip up and post crap like that on facebook so that I’ll have something to make fun of.

    Like

    Rixie recently posted Positive Deviant.

  92. Oops, got modded.

    Holy hell, bears on a cruise!?!

    It’s like the Alaskan version of Snakes on a Plane, but with more teeth. And claws. And legs. If only Sarah Palin was spotted it’d be perfect.

    Like

    Tazer Warrior Princess recently posted Aimless wanderings and pointless musing.

  93. See! This is what you get for leaving Beyonce at home! He would have protected you from that bear.
    Hmm if the bear got to you, Victor wasn’t much of a human shield was he??

    Like

    Julie E recently posted Obsessively Oblivious.

  94. hahaha you made my day

    Like

  95. This is exactly why they shouldn’t let bears on cruise ships in the first place. But nobody ever listens to me.

    Like

    jacqui recently posted Get A Real Job….

  96. UGH. Instead of messing with people’s posters, I always have snarky remarks in my head, usually revolving around your mom, your face, and last night.

    Example conference call:
    client: I really love the way you did this!
    internal monologue: Your mom really loved the way I did this. LAST NIGHT!

    Boss: I don’t like how this looks, (pointing at my monitor)
    internal monologue: I don’t like the way YOUR FACE LOOKS.

    *sigh*

    Like

  97. I meant to put “now”. Not “not”. That’s just rude.

    Like

  98. mynd you, moose bites are pretti nasti…

    Like

  99. I can always count on a good snort when I visit you! Thanks. For the snort. The legal kind, that is. (Have a great trip!)

    Like

    Jane recently posted Mom’s First Day Of School Jitters.

  100. You make my day.
    V

    Like

    virginia recently posted Une promenade dans le jardin.

  101. Get a damp washcloth and scrub away the blood – you have to soldier on and report on the Great North Wilderness.

    -from Seattle, the Great Northwest Wilderness

    Like

    Kirsten recently posted Sometimes I don't let things go.

  102. Was Canada prepared for you to arrive…because after all…I am a Canadian and I would totally pee myself if you dropped in for high tea…just saying!

    Like

  103. My friend owns a hunting and fishing business in Juneau. I’m sure he could help you with the bear. Our minds are one with the signs. I❤ you.

    Like

  104. I’m waiting for the sarah palin pun before opening my mouth… it’s coming, we both know it, the bears are just to throw us off

    Like

    angelica recently posted it is what it is (on photography and passion).

  105. YAY for whale watching but boo for being bear bait. Hope you survive this trip and come back with great stories!

    Like

    Brenna recently posted I sucked at parallel parking in drivers ed.

  106. Shouldn’t it be I’m lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to peanuts?

    Like

  107. I can spend hours on Pinterest and I have you to blame – I followed one of your links there and now instead of writing a post I end up just searching through all the beautiful images – there seems to be a run of zombie ones lately which you’d appreciate. Hope the bear didn’t eat one of your hands, not sure what I’d do if you couldn’t type…. (seriously have fun in Alaska ! we’ll live if you take a break….maybe)

    Nicole x

    Like

    Nicole @ myIdeaLife recently posted Did you by any chance see some brain tissue in that placenta?.

  108. Is that bear blood or your blood? Somehow I can’t picture a woman as prepared for the zombie apocalypse as you being caught off guard by a silly bear.

    Like

  109. I LOVE Alaska. Alaska is the humpback to my whales. The panning to my gold. The husky to my dog. The melting to my glaciar. The global to my warming. The Holland to my America.

    Shall I go on?

    Like

    Alexandra recently posted PhyzCon.

  110. I’m horribly addicted to Pinterest. Horrible.
    But, must say I am nowhere near as clever with those silly posters. I just usually read them, gag, and move on.
    (you’ve inspired me to do more😉

    Like

    debi9kids recently posted The Most Versatile Cake You'll EVER Make. I Promise!.

  111. Yeah – when everything you touch turns to crap, that’s called the “Anti-Midas touch.”

    Like

  112. You don’t have a problem, you’re just brutally honest.

    Cool Beans!

    Like

    RachelJoy recently posted Wordless Wednesday: Fruitopia.

  113. I 17th the hopes that there will be a Victor/taxidermy story to this trip somewhere.

    Like

    Corinne recently posted Things I am thankful for.

  114. 118
    SparkleBella

    I’m betting the bear is now a rug on your cabin floor. Problem solved. Until his relatives show up.

    Poster perfect – that triptych should be sold everywhere. Hallmark is calling you right now – unless they’ve already ripped you off. Again.

    Watch out for the buffets on the cruise ship. They’re statistically deadlier than the bears.

    Like

  115. 119
    IslandBlue

    Glad you are meeting the whales and bears. Just so you know, the bears on cruise ships are paid actors, that’s not the way real bears live in Alaska. If you are in the Juneau area, you should know that it doesn’t always rain here and its quite beautiful when the sun shines. But I guess you get enough sunshine at home, so soak up some rain and enjoy! And yes, we laugh at tourists who wear transparent ponchos and rain scarves. If you happen to raft down the Mendenhall River, wave at the gray house on the bend with three pugs barking at you.

    Oh, and thanks for the Pinterest addicition. I’m unable to stop myself!

    Rhonda

    Like

  116. Whenever I hear about bears and Alaska, I think about having a sess on top of a bear made in to a rug. In central florida, in 103 degree weather, that’s what we fantasize about. Cold weather hook ups.

    Like

    Brittany Blackman recently posted The most epic goose ever….

  117. You really had no other choice than to go the route you did with that first picture. The Peanut to my Butter? Milk to my cookie? One can only be cruel or obscene with drivel like that.

    I don’t get Pinterest. It stresses me out and makes me very nervous.

    Like

    That Uncomfortable Itch recently posted I compensate with cheese.

  118. 122
    stephanie a

    well thank goodness you are a fan of bathrooms, because bears don’t need toilets so you’ll probably be safe in there…

    Like

  119. A) I am too lazy to read all the other comments, so if someone else already said this….forgive me

    B) When you said “Bear”….I didn’t think large territorial animal, I thought “large hairy gay man”

    C) My best friend is gay so don’t be hatin’ on me …..

    Like

    Beth recently posted Day 8: Use Water.

  120. My facebook status a few weeks ago was, ” You know what would be scary as shit? Being chased in knee-high snow by a polar bear.” If you are still alive to write of this occurrence, I am assuming you won the battle. I wonder which tactics you used to defeat the polar bear.

    Like

    Rico Swaff recently posted Ridin’ Ghetto Part 3.

  121. Pinterest like everything else on the internets is a black hole but such a lovely, entertaining, beautiful and funny black hole. I really need to get back to work….oh pin that…!

    Like

  122. 126
    Kerry Kenney

    My friend Jon wrote a great book about a bear eating people on a cruise ship. It would make the best movie. I think you should read it. I know this is an internet plug but I hope you take it in the spirit of bears eating people on a cruise ship way that I meant. His book is called The Inside Passage. You can get it on Amazon.

    Like

  123. Peanut to my butter? Totally asking for it.

    Like

    tori nelson recently posted Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend. Bridesmaids Aren’t Bad Either..

  124. I guess there’s a fine line between “bear hugs” and strangling too.

    Like

    Meredith recently posted Cock-a-doodle, Oink.

  125. Very pintresting. Very pintresting, indeed.

    Like

  126. You know I have a pinterest page titled ‘things that shit me’. If I was remotely more technologically capable I would so do this type of thing.

    Like

  127. OK, so go to pinterest and check out the “I’m The Shit” thing with the dad and the kid. And thanks, kim for making me spend 5 minutes looking at pinterest “Shit” shit.

    Like

    waghthedad recently posted You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Sleeping.

  128. I’ve ordered your posters. They will be placed next to my Zazzle-fied Beyonce purchase.

    Like

    Becky recently posted Real Food. It’s What’s for Dinner. Once a Year..

  129. I just saw some folks on an Alaskan cruise on TV. They made part of a glacier fall into the sea and then taped it. I think they were using metal chicken to chip away at the ice. Are you behind this?

    Like

    Theresa recently posted Mr. Mom… {Leave the Nest Momma}.

  130. Haha! I want that as a T-shirt!

    Like

    Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted Someone Is Missing From This Picture...And It's Not Me...Or The Dog.

  131. You see what they put up, and then you come back with something better.
    So you’re what they call in boxing ‘a counterpuncher’.
    Who’s maybe a little punch-drunk. Maybe on a counter?
    A counter-punch-drunk?

    Will nobody stop me already!?

    Like

    If I Were God... recently posted So I was on Fox News today.

  132. I just stumbled (not drunk – I wish but seems it’s a little too early in the day…plus I’m at work) just a link from a link to another link and there you were.

    There apparently seems to be A.LOT. of us that think alike! I loved your James the Warthog story(I think i peed a little while laughing)….maybe you would like my Marcus Van Chipensburg story?

    http://www.therevolvingdiet.com/marcus-von-chipensburg/
    OR…..the groundhogs…..
    http://www.therevolvingdiet.com/2011/08/good-morning-bunny.html
    OR….even my site….I blog about dieting (the good, the bad and yes the going off it too!)

    Will make your blog a regular!
    Enjoy Alaska!

    Like

    The Revolving Diet recently posted Day 203.2 ~ 8/11/11.

  133. I TOTALLY read that as ” I spent the day catching whales…”

    In all honesty, I wasn’t a bit surprised. Then I realized that you were merely watching them. I was a little saddened by how mundane your day was. But at least you were attacked by a bear, so there’s that.

    By bear, you mean a big fuzzy gay guy, right? Because once again, that’s how *I* read that.

    Like

    Gates recently posted Been there, done that, was at the funeral..

  134. So, I’m on bedrest and your blog has been the reason the time is flying by. I’ve read 27 pages of your blog and you make me laugh so hard! Thanks for being so awesome! And making bedrest not boring at all!

    Like

    Nakita recently posted Things I've Learned Wearing My Arm Sling.

  135. Your posters pretty much sum up my life. Thank you!

    And it’s not unflattering, it’s being an individual, which is a rarity in this modern world. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little crazy. Right? >.>

    Like

  136. I’m laughing and can’t wait to get to Alaska one day!

    Like

  137. If by shit you mean utter hilarity, then yes… total agreement🙂

    Like

    Dr. Cynicism recently posted One Word Caption.

  138. If they die from the peanut butter allergy, there will be more pinterest to go around. Survival of the pinterestest.

    Like

    Lorca Damon recently posted MILF: It Does A Body Good.

  139. If you could see yourself, just for a day, you’d see how everyone else sees you. And my god, you are fucking beautiful.

    Like

  140. Hoping you enjoyed the polar bear sex shows, and got some great photos to share!

    Like

    Anna recently posted So, you think you want to give birth...

  141. bwahahaha. “Exactly” is my favorite.

    Like

    TheSuze recently posted The Last Crusade...is a good night's sleep.

  142. Hilarious!

    Like

    rehabilitationrandomness recently posted Independence.

  143. Not to tell you how to run your blog or anything, but wouldn’t it be funnier if the 2nd poster said, “But *I’m* lactose intolerant. And deathly allergic to peanuts.”. Then the third one could say, “THANK YOU”. Now that the OCD in me rewrote your blog, the socially anxious part of me APOLOGIZES PROFUSELY.

    Like

  144. Great series. I am insanely in lust with pinterest. It forces me to keep batteries on hand.

    Like

    Rebecca - Soap Deli News Blog recently posted Household Ideas for Pinching Pennies and Stretching Your Dime.

  145. You are brilliantly, wickedly funny and I have a picture of you with Beanis, the crocheted Penis on my blog.

    Like

  146. Have you seen Whale Man? I’m both extremely confused and amazed. I also want a whale suit.

    Like

    Nakita recently posted Brilliant!.

  147. Awww that was ridiculous and freaky to know that you have attacked by a bear,i am curious to know that ARE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW??….That blood thing was really not good.Any ways i liked those posters,really meaningful and touchy.Thanks for sharing them.

    Good Luck and God Bless!!

    With Regards!
    Samuel Joshua.

    Like

    Outdoor Kitchen Equipment recently posted Outdoor Kitchen Equipment.

  148. hope you heal from the bear attack soon!!!

    Like

    Lizzie recently posted 30 Days About Me (Somewhere I’d Love to Travel).

  149. hahaha!!! I love you!! you have the best sense of humor!!

    Like

  150. I want someone to make a sign that reads:

    “All because Adam and Eve did the nasty.”

    Like

  151. BEST REASON for me to check out Pintrest. They really should hire you as a resident creator and curator.

    Like

    subWOW recently posted Repost: My Problems with “The Help”.

  152. You’re so hilarious.. LOL! I can’t stop myself from laughing .. I love the poster! Wish you got some funny photos.. I’m interested in knowing the full story about the bear attack.. Have a entertaining trip to Alaska..

    Like

  153. You’re so hilarious.. LOL! I can’t stop myself from laughing .. I love the poster! Wish you got some funny photos.. I’m interested in knowing the full story about the bear attack.. Have a entertaining trip to Alaska..

    Like

    hannamay recently posted Luxury Chalet Rentals.

  154. Cracking open a bear on vacation on a cruise ship. You’re more of a man than I think I’ll ever be.

    Like

    Teh Evil Penguin recently posted TEP on Writer’s Block.

  155. i found the “peanut to my butter” screen print on etsy.com through the shop “IScreenYouScreen”.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/66370338/love-quote-you-are-the-peanut-to-my

    Like

  156. I can see those hanging as a triptych in my living room. Or maybe a nice gift for that friend who thinks she’s better than me. Either way, awesome.

    Like

    Suniverse recently posted GUEST POST: Acting AS IF.

  157. You are so funny that it makes me jealous. Just a few short lines and my cheeks hurt from smiling.

    Like

    Rebel Chick Jenn recently posted My Must-See Sights in Barbados.

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