All those kind words you left me last night? They helped. And today I woke up feeling a little less hurt and a lot less hopeless. I owe you. So here’s the deal. I will stab one person for you, in a non-fatal location. You only get one though, because repetitive motion causes inflammation.
Also, I’ve been mostly unconscious for the last three days and I just woke up in the guest bedroom. I don’t even remember going to sleep in the guest bedroom. It’s like I’m having a series of black-outs, but without the booze slushies. Or possibly it’s alien abductions, but I don’t feel probed.
I just told Victor that I was concerned that I was having a series of possibly deadly mini-comas. Victor was all “Those are called naps.” I’m pretty sure Victor is in denial.
In other news, it’s Sunday, which means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:
What you missed on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a complete douche-canoe):
- Nothing. I was too sick to write. But look, you can read this post from 2 years ago and it will seem new to you if your long-term memory is shot. You’re welcome.
What you missed on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- During the zombie apocalypse, this shirt could save your life. So technically you can write it off as “emergency preparedness supplies”.
- Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down greeting cards
- Bless Your Stupid Heart t-shirt, inspired by my friend Karen. (Profits go to charity.)
What you missed on the internets:
- Zazzle was very confused about why my giant chicken products kept getting so many hits, so they interviewed me. Then they were much more confused.
- These are my two new most favorite people.
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
This week on Shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
This week’s wrap-up sponsored by the deliciously lovely people from Hillshire Farm, who are very sweet to me even though I mistakenly call them “Hillshire FarmS” over and over. They’re awesome, and I think they deserve more than one farm. You should check them out.