This isn’t a real post. It’s just something cool I liked.

in Random Crap, terrible titles

Many years ago, my friend (Rachael) painted a portrait of my pug, Barnaby Jones Pickles.  Several years later he was killed by a rattlesnake, but I’m pretty sure those two things are unrelated.  At least, I hope they are, because Rachael’s now doing Day of the Dead art and she just surprised me with my own portrait.  Which is completely bad-ass, but maybe not entirely worth death by rattlesnake.

Day of The Bloggess (scan)

Luckily, I’m much bigger than Barnaby Jones Pickles so I would probably survive a rattlesnake bite, and it would make a cool story.  So, I guess what I’m saying is that Rachael’s paintings are worth being injected by venom, nearly – but not quite – to the point of death.  Also, I’m not sure why she doesn’t hire me to write advertising copy for her, because this shit is gold.

PS.  Here’s her site if you want to commission your own portrait.

 

 

169 thoughts on “This isn’t a real post. It’s just something cool I liked.”

Read comments below or add one.

  8. I absolutely must come up with funds to commission a piece of art like this. This is the best thing I’ve seen all day, and I saw a guy walking down Sixth Avenue with a cat on his shoulder.

  11. She gave you a pug nose. Unless that’s your actual nose. Doesn’t matter. I’m a pug person. So, I find it stunning! Also, RIP Barnaby Jones Pickles

  13. I love it Jenny, and since I met you I am becoming more interested in the creepy and the macabre. But I will never go as far as you do, because I am running for political office.

    Seriously, it is strangely beautiful. Can we do it now?

  16. I have this suspicion that this is what you really look like, and that you put on make-up for the sole purpose of appearing normal to the rest of us. I’m right, aren’t I?

  21. Love it! This is worthy of printing on canvas and putting up in your bedroom… Victor’s office perhaps?

  22. There is just enough of the Heath Ledger style Joker in there that I hope you will be careful with your sleeping pills tonight.

  31. Death by rattlesnake? Better than being eaten by snake- not that you were looking for a list of good v. bad ways to die but being eaten alive is worse than death by venom.

  35. I’m a little freaked out by that portrait, but in a good way. I think.

    Here’s to getting bitten by a rattlesnake, but to not being filled with death inducing amounts of venom. You know, so you have something cool to blog about in a few years. Gotta always be heads up for those future posts, yo.

  36. My new tagline: “Rachael’s paintings are worth being injected by venom, nearly – but not quite – to the point of death. – Jenny, The Bloggess.”

  39. Um…I’m sure she is a talented artist, I mean it’s painted well and she’s clearly creative, but frankly I’m creeped out. Then again, I am not a big fan of Halloween either. Sorry about Barnaby…I hope the snake got eaten by a badger.

  40. That is awesome-sauce. I now want to commission a portrait of a rattlesnake, thus completing the cycle of life…or death? I’ve never been clear on cycles.

  41. This is so very awesome. I love Day of the Dead crap. I would so do this but more than I love Day of the Dead I hate my face so no pictures for me. 🙂

  42. That’s very pretty and also terrifying. I kind of want one but I think I’ll wait and see if you get bit by a snake because that’s like my number one fear.

  47. I totally want to make a halloween mask out of this. Imagine, a thousand little ‘Bloggess-es’ running around the USA on Halloween night. If some of us ran into others, it would be like a completely awesome paradox where earths collide and shit.

    Fuckity. I’m doing it.

  50. Pingback: Rachael Rossman: Watercolor Portraits of Man and Beast » Day of The Bloggess

  59. Personally, I love the portrait, especially the flower behind the ear! But the death by rattlesnake sounds boring compared to my favorite death . (And yes, I do collect fabulous obits and newspaper ” fillers” mentioning quirky death.) Seems some guy many years ago worked as a fork lift operator. During his shift his load also shifted and hijinks ensued. The fellow was crushed to death by Eskimo Pies. What a way to go! One can only hope all the pall bearers were dressed as Good Humor men.

  61. This looks like a portrait of you dressed up as Delirium of the Endless dressed up as a Dia de los Muertos zombie. In other words, fucking badass.

  62. Wow, this is so much better than those photographs they used to take of people after they really died! Who wants to wait around for the corpse to decompose to get this kind of detail?

  63. People like her should be only children. I happen to know she’s got a sister that can’t paint worth shit. And it’s been happening for years. But seriously, some of my favorite work that she’s done.

  64. Whatever the hell holiday you’re supposed to celebrate by hanging that up, I’m TOTALLY IN! It looks like a holiday greeting card for a mash-up of a “Halloween-slash-Mother’s Day-slash-drinking binge” kind of holiday.

  69. That’s AWESOME!

    Just a side note – see if she can make a mask. That way you’re TOTALLY ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.

    🙂

  70. That’s AWESOME!

    Just a side note – see if she can make a mask. That way you’re TOTALLY ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.

    🙂

  71. That is so Tate worthy! Homage to Elsa Lancaster! Exquisite! Perhaps the Brits should commission her to capture the true essence of Good Queen Liz!

  75. The only reason I have ever wanted to get married is to get engagement photos done. And now I want to have those – when I get them – turned into Day of the Dead paintings. And a coordinating one of Kitten Thunder.

  80. Every time I read one of your posts and think to comment, I see that already fifty bazillion fans have already put in their .02 and figure you don’t need my voice. But this rendering is seriously badass, and so here I am to let you know. Simply awesome. I’m going right over to Rachael’s site now.

  81. Holy shit. Rachel is crazy talented. I spent Day of the Dead in both Guanajuato and Guadalajara and this is just as good (if not better) than any of the portraits I saw there.

    I mean, it helps that you actually have eyeballs and skin and there isn’t a big cavernous hole where your nose should be. But still.

  87. it is beautiful, but somebody should tell her you always wear lipstick, even when you are dead.

  88. That is very cool but I’m a spaz and would be afraid of a Day of the Dead painting of myself. Then again, I’m also afraid of the perfectly normal portrait of myself as a toddler that’s somewhere in the bottom of my closet. What? Don’t judge.

  91. Nothing like a death photo to make folks smile. Ah I feel like curling up next to a gravestone and cuddling.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate,
    Tiffany

  98. Barnaby died from a rattlesnake?!? I thought it was a bee sting. I just shed a tear for Barnaby.

    (We thought it was an allergic reaction from a bee sting, but then later I found out that our neighbors dogs had been bitten by rattlesnakes and that it was fairly common for dogs in that area. This is why I will shoo spiders out of the house, but have no compunction about shooting a rattlesnake in the face. If I had a gun and good aim, that is. ~ Jenny)

  103. I keep telling the man that I want a Day of the Dead themed wedding. (It’s possible he thinks I’m kidding.) This is totally giving me ideas on how to do my makeup. Lovely work.

  104. Again. Halloween masks. “What are you for Halloween?” “Well, I’m The Bloggess”. EXCEPT. We’d have to not only wear the mask but we’d also have to wear ONLY the “Knock, Knock Motherfucker” towels. And a push up bra, because for some reason, all grown women think that Halloween means, “dress slutty”.

    So, in conclusion. Let’s make masks and be Slutty Bloggesses for Halloween!

  109. SOOOO cool!! I have some friends that do a lot of paintings like these. You look like a Mexican “Katrina” doll! Love it. You’re all set for Dia de los Muertos. Maybe you should celebrate it on Barnaby Jones’ grave. Aww! I remember when he died, poor pooch.

  112. Coming from a fellow artist. That is FUCKING legit. I absolutely love it and I really freaking wish I had the money to get one. So fucking cool.

  113. I love this! When I went to San Antonio I bought a Dia De Los Muertos painted skull, it is to my husband what James Garfield is to Victor. Nuff said.

  115. love the portrait! you need a zombie alter-ego name to go with it. or do you have one already? i’m a new fan so have lots of catching up to do! since your dog’s name was so unique, i can’t wait to hear your zombie name!!!!

  117. I love the way the permanence of your medium contrasts ironically with the emphemorality of the human condition embracing the paradox of the underlying metaphor of, . . . um . . . of the, uh, . . . the whole damn thing.

  119. that’s a really cool hat, i think your portrait is fantastic, I don’t see clown zombie, no zombie would have a cool swirly stuff unless it happened accidently and then it would be red with little bits of throat stuck to it not pretty colours like that . GET REAL PEOPLE when’s the last time you saw a zombie that looks like that.

  122. random thought i had and also the best idea ever. or not. put “please hire me” on the front of a shirt and printed on the back your resume. never know who you might run into at the grocery store etc…but that’s just my opinion. my life’s falling apart and i’m desperate enough to make a shirt like that. but then i might actually look too desperate….hmmm

  123. That totally describes “awesomesauce”.

    Also, I think saying *anything* is so good that being nearly killed by a rattlesnake is worth it is a helluva good endorsement. Rachael should copyright that shit, stat.

  125. Is it weird that I look at it (and it’s wonderful) and think that your Japanese tour guides would have approved? Something about it feels like Japanese art to me.

    Also I think I just revealed how long I’ve been lurking without commenting. Oh well.

  128. It don’t get much better than having talented friends. Also I dunno why my inner Appalachia is coming out in my typing today. I reckon hit don’t make no never you mind.

  134. Kismet? I dunno. I picked up a plastic skull to do a whole Day of the Dead painting on..Imma cheat & look at this pic while doing it. 🙂

  136. it’s not the sunken eyes, the gapping nose or the decaying flesh but the sorrowful, lost from within expression that makes this so absolutely haunting

  137. That picture is so cool..in a creepy way! Love the colors. My daughter found the coolest photographer that takes pictures of woman in their wedding dresses AFTER they get DIVORCED!! Spray paint/Mud/Dirt/ cool cool pictures. The above pic reminds me of those! What a neat way to celebrate a divorce!! T:)

  141. Sorry about the doucheface outburst yesterday. I need to be more zombie like and less like a sensitive human. I wrote about hookers and strippers today. And I would totally buy one of those portraits if I could.

  144. Holy crap, that’s scary. ( but in a good way–if that’s possible).

    Maybe you should put a (dead/skeletalized) bird on it.
    And maybe someones already wrote that, but frankly I wouldn’t know since I didn’t read all the comments above mine.

    -AA

  146. I’m oddly disturbed by this. . .reminds me of clowns. . .clowns ain’t right. That being said, your friend has gots the mad art skillz, yo!

  150. Dude, that picture is worth getting a rattlesnake bite for.

    Well, maybe not. I don’t particularly like it when critters bite me. Especially poisonous ones. That would probably require a trip to the E.R. and then a co-pay and then hospital bills to try and coerce our insurance to pay for… Basically, this is sounding like a whole lot of trouble for you. Still. At least you have a back up picture for your “about me” page, right?

  153. Wow, I had no idea … She’s one of my favorite artists, and to find out that you two are friends is just…

    I’m so amused I’m almost speechless. What can I say, it takes a lot to truly make me speechless, but still!

  156. Hi there, Bloggess. I’m a long time lurker, first time commenter. I LOVE Dia De Los Muertos art, and I LOVE this likeness of you! 🙂 I am jazzed it’s become more mainstream recently. 🙂

  159. This portraiture thing is probably a much better – and less illegal – version of what I had planned (which my husband says will not happen and I’m not sure how much say I am going to have in the matter). I wanted to have my actual skull painted Dia de los Muertos-style after I die. I mean, I don’t want to be buried cuz that’s creepy, and I don’t really want to be burned because too many of my ancestors have already been there and done that, and I’d like to donate my body to science, but there’s a freakin’ long waiting list now, so I thought stripping the skin from my skull and taking it to New Mexico or other Mexico to have it painted all pretty and fancy and sugary would be the next best thing and then it could have a place of honor and color on the mantlepiece (we don’t actually have a mantle so it would have to go up on top of the TV cabinet, but that would be festive, too) (also, in a related note, I found out it’s not legal to leave your body in a national park to be eaten by mountain lions, bears, and badgers, which is a shame because there’s a national park-like-area right out my back door and that would have been exceptionally convenient and also very circle-of-lifeish. I even know someone I could commission to make a metal sign to hang upon my person so that no one mistakes me for a murder victim, but even that is not good enough) Anyhow, Mr. Husbandface and I have watched “Bones”. We know how to strip a skull of flesh and hair and stuff. But then he said that probably also is not legal – both the stripping of a spouse’s skull and the carrying it across state lines and maybe country lines to have it painted – and so he won’t do that for me. I don’t think my nieces or nephews will, either. And this is exactly why I should have had children and raised them without morals. >:{

  162. I almost choked on my tater tot because I laughed so hard. Even though I learned a long time ago it was dangerous to eat or drink while reading your blog.

  163. This awesome portrait of you would be the perfect companion to the skeleton dude in Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” video who goes by the name of Zombie Boy in real life. I may or may not have a strange attraction to him in that video.

    If you haven’t already seen this, I highly recommend you skip past the oogy birth of a slimy alien being at the beginning of the video. You’re welcome. Zombie Boy appears at 4:10.

  167. Pingback: Rachael Rossman: Watercolor Portraits of Man and Beast » More Minis

  168. I want do have her do one of my pictures for this! It’s so cool!
    I like how she uses your quote about being injected with venom and all that on her site, haha.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading