AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD

Actual conversation with my husband, as we were driving down a Texas back-road yesterday:

me:  OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT?

Victor:  What?

me:  You need to stop the car so I can get out, BECAUSE I JUST SAW A BEAR EATING GRASS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

Victor:  Okay, I don’t even know where to start with how many things are wrong with that sentence.

me:  It might have been a sasquatch.  It was enormous and hairy AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK.

Victor:  *sigh*  It was probably a tree.

me:  I think I can tell the difference between a tree and a sasquatch, thankyouverymuch.

Then Victor turned around, but he glared at me until we finally got back to the spot, and I was all “SEE.  THAT THING.  That’s a fucking sasquatch, dude.”

Victor:  That’s a…  Uh…fuck.  What the hell is that thing?

me:  Sasquatch.  You owe me a dollar.

Victor:  We weren’t betting.

me:  You owe me a dollar for your lack of faith.

Victor:  It looks like…Sigmund the Sea Monster.

And he was sort of right, except that sea monsters don’t exist.  Then I got out of the car to take a picture with my phone and Victor was yelling at me to get back in the car, but it was too late because I was quietly sneaking up on the sasquatch, and then I realized that it was on all fours and that Sasquatches don’t crawl unless they’re looking for a contact, so I whispered back to Victor: “I think it’s a Snuffleupagus.”  Then Victor rolled his eyes in disbelief, and a fairy died because of his lack of faith.

I snuck up closer and closer, and finally took a shot with my camera.

Be honest. You thought I was exaggerating until just now, didn't you? Ow, people. Just...ow.

Then I whispered (in a soothing -and somewhat terrified- voice), “Heeeeere snuffles.  I come in peace.”  But he totally ignored me, and then Victor laid on the horn, and I screamed, and the sasqualleupagus’ butt looked up at me.

And it was a donkey.

With dreadlocks, for some reason.

This donkey needs a french braid and a banana-clip

Which was both disappointing and confusing all at once.  Then Victor yelled at me to stop stomping through other people’s property before we both got arrested, and then I got caught on the barbed wire fence on the way back out and probably got tetanus.  Then I got back in the car while screaming “YOU GUYS NEED TO BRUSH YOUR DONKEY” at no one in particular .

PS.  This story would be more redeeming if the the donkey ended up being a sasquatch.  I apologize.  I can assure you, I’m a little sad for all of us.

(An aside to everyone telling me to call the police: The donkey is fine and is apparently supposed to look like that.)

**********

In unrelated news, it’s Sunday!  Which means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up.  Let’s get started, shall we?

What you missed on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a complete douche-canoe):

What you missed on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week’s wrap-up sponsored by the awesome people at Goodsie, who make it incredibly easy to set up your own fully-branded online shop. Sell whatever you like.  Art, shirts, glass-eyes, used organs. Whatever!

*Goodsie.com asked me to clarify: “We will not help you sell your used organs. Unless ‘organs’ = ‘pianos.’ That’s probably okay. We need to talk to our lawyers.”

319 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Wow. Donkey-sasquatch is nauseating.

    Like

    Tanya recently posted a thing about machines.

  2. I thought it was a Komondor at first, which means that apparently I can’t tell the difference between a donkey and a dog. Thank you for helping me learn my own limitations.

    Like

    Laura @ Unlikely Explanations recently posted Your Feeble Attempts to Ruin My Life Have Not Succeeded.

  3. That is a very neglected donkey. He looks emaciated under that over grown under brushed coat. So sad

    Like

  4. Good lord that donkey does need a nice good brush. I think I’d have leapt out of my skin if that thing suddenly moved, it looks like a frickin’ bush.

    Like

    loudlyshy recently posted How Animorphs Ruined My Life.

  5. I still choose to believe that is a real life snuffleupagus.

    Like

    Eva recently posted Five Things I Learned at Camp.

  6. You need a “no sasquatches” sign…

    Like

    Teresa recently posted I Promised an Announcement Today.

  7. That would be a Poitou Donkey, it looks like. Awesome shit.

    Like

    Katie recently posted Officially offering ....

  8. OMG! Bob Marley meets the Christmas Donkey!

    Too funny!

    Like

  9. I thought the ass end of it looked like Mr. Snuffleupagus too. You’re not alone.

    Like

    Melissa recently posted SIMC: Kings Landing.

  10. This really made me giggle! I’m glad it turned out to be a donkey and not an enraged Bigfoot.

    Like

  11. dreadlocks donkey – nothing but wrong

    Like

    daniel recently posted News Briefs 10-21-11.

  12. Hey wait! You should have snagged it! I think it’s a super rare and valuable breed of donkey!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baudet_de_Poitou

    Like

    Eva recently posted Five Things I Learned at Camp.

  13. You should report those people- seriously. That’s animal neglect/abuse.

    Like

  14. At first I thought it was a yak… which would have been AWESOME.

    But that donkey… I think you need to call the ASPCA or something, cuz I’m pretty sure that’s matted and sad fur, not happy donkey fur (hair?). Yes, I’m a bleeding heart… what would Sarah McLachlan do?? Poor donkeh.

    Like

  15. Um, is there some sort of religion with The Bloggess as the deity? Because there needs to be. I’m just sayin’.

    Like

  16. Girlfriend-
    I *never* ever question you. But a banana clip?! Seriously? No. A banana clip would only make it look more pathetic. You probably know that, you just don’t know that you know.

    Like

  17. That’s Nestor, the Christmas donkey!

    WG
    http://itsmynd.blogspot.com

    Like

  18. Seriously. What is wrong with those people that they have a DONKEY with dreadlocks?!?!? Kudos to you for being enough to capture a picture before knowing what it was! I totally would have freaked out and would not have gone back for a pic. It did look like like Snuffy. 😀

    Like

  19. You should totally call those people who cleaned up the wildlife after the oil spill. They could probably help with this. Maybe. I don’t really know. It kinda looks like my husband’s back.

    Like

  20. I always knew that thing was real. No one believed Big Bird… but he was right.

    Like

    Aja recently posted Thats life, kid..

  21. I so wanted that to be a sasquatch, because I have no idea what one looks like.

    That donkey needs a treatment. Stat.

    Like

  22. I was looking and looking for the part where you kidnapped the donkey while Victor drove the getaway car in horror and disbelief yet completely turned on by his animal rescuing wife. Did you edit for space?

    Like

    Erica M recently posted Monday listicle: 10 tips for new propagators of the evolutionary life cycle.

  23. I really thought it was a Snuffleupagus! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a donkey with long hair…and I’m sure I’ve never seen one with dreadlocks. I’m even more sure I’ve never seen a Sasquatch with dreadlocks.

    Like

    jacqui recently posted This Chick Gets Around….

  24. He doesn’t look like Eeyore, but he definitely matches the morose and sadness of Eeyore.

    And my husband and I bet each other a dollar on things all the time. The last one was over whether there are any azaleas in our yard. I’m owed a fucking dollar.

    Like

    Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted On second thought, we’re probably going to need to save ourselves..

  25. Damn hippie donkeys with their dreads, always buying all of the green tea at Whole Foods. Maybe other people would like green tea too, hippie donkey. Did you ever think of that? Of course not, because you’re a donkey.

    Like

    JessicaZombie recently posted I even forgot to give this post a title..

  26. OMG I want to fly to Texas and shave that poor donkey. I could do that right? I mean, how hard can it be to shave a donkey? It can’t be worse than shaving a cat and I’ve done that. Although by admitting that I’m opening myself up to all sorts of really vile jokes….;)

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    Alexis recently posted Baby Sleep: What is Normal?.

  27. Did you *at least* help the monster-donkey-sasquatch find his contact lens before you left in such a hurry?

    Like

    Matthew Garcia recently posted Book Review: “Blue Revolution” by Cynthia Barnett.

  28. i thought it was going to be a Chupacabra.

    I don’t know what I think of Rasta-Donkey.

    Like

    Jen recently posted Whose reality?.

  29. I don’t know why I’m even jumping in here again, but I don’t think the donkey is abused. I think it’s a rare breed of French donkey. You know the French – they don’t shave!

    See official description WITH pictures here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baudet_de_Poitou

    Like

    Eva recently posted Five Things I Learned at Camp.

  30. I see Sasquatch all the time! (I live in rural east Texas, so yeah, s/he’s out here somewhere.)

    Like

  31. I was taking guesses on what that thing was and donkey was never going to be one of them. I had no idea they could grow so much hair! I feel really sorry for that thing because all that hair must be really heavy.

    Like

    Brenna recently posted There are some tips you just don't need..

  32. The moral of this story is that someone HATES that donkey. Sad.

    Like

  33. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call the sheriff’s department in the area where you saw this poor creature. It needs to be picked up and taken to an animal shelter. This is SEVERE neglect and possibly abuse. Please save this donkey’s life or give it a chance to be put down and out of it’s misery. Please, Jenny, I’m begging you.

    Like

  34. don’t panic or call the aspca guys! there’s a breed of donkey, the name of which escapes me, and it’s hair (or.. fur?? i’m not entirely sure) grows like that.
    but it’s sweet of everyone to be worried🙂

    Like

  35. I thought it was a Highland Cow! Also,don’t you think it could have been sasqualleupagus disguised as a donkey to fool unsuspecting passers, and that IT KNEW you and Victor would be driving down that road and that you WOULD write a blog and that it’s lonely and knew that you would end up getting it a female sasqualleupagus mate to comb out its dreadlocks, Did you not think of that? Cos one of your readers is bound to have a sasqualleupagus hidden away somewhere…..

    Like

    Tom Stronach recently posted Do Despotic Rulers Still Have Human Rights of their Own?.

  36. I just love you more than words can say. You are brilliant.

    Like

  37. pick me, ooh, pick me! I read about this: ranchers all over Texas typically use donkeys to help protect their cattle herds against coyotes. With the extreme drought, they were having to sell off cattle much earlier than usual to avoid them just dying, and then, there was NOTHING to feed the donkeys, so they just released them into the wild. Scores of them. This sad dred-locked dude is probably one of those. It’s a huge problem for a whole host of reasons, not least of which is the fact (that I’m sure NONE of them considered) that the resulted Sasquatch-donkeys would nearly cause accidents on roadways when passersby ogled them in shock and disbelief. Thanks, drought.

    Like

    MommyTime recently posted On Homework.

  38. I love Poitou Donkeys, this one is so cute! Must suck to have that kinda hair in Texas though! I’m sure it wouldn’t have minded you calling it a Sasquatch or a Snuffleupagus. They are quite friendly🙂

    Like

    Amanda recently posted WTF Siblings?.

  39. Oh By the way apparently it is, courtesy of Wikipedia: The Baudet de Poitou is “instantly recognizable” for a number of unusual characteristics that distinguish it from other asses. Its shaggy coat, called a “cadanette”, hangs in “long cords or shaggy hanks” when ungroomed because the hair is longer and softer than that of other breeds of donkey. Animals with great cadanettes of matted and tangled hair were most highly valued. Breeders prized the Baudet du Poitou’s traditional coat so highly that a champion jack who had lost his cadenette was excluded from placement in a class at later shows.

    So, no need to call animal welfare

    Like

    Tom Stronach recently posted Do Despotic Rulers Still Have Human Rights of their Own?.

  40. Oh Jenny! How do I love Thee? Let me count the ways….
    Laughing..out loud…again….

    Like

  41. On a serious note…call the humane society…that “thing’ is a sentient creature….

    Like

  42. WTF is wrong with that donkey. That’s animal abuse!!! ggrrr.

    Like

    Charlotte recently posted Bake me a cake!.

  43. That is totally the love child of Snuffi and Fred the wonder horse from Sesame street

    Like

    sarina recently posted I’m sorry you didn’t get raptured..

  44. That poor donkey looks like what I imagine he’ll looks like to the Kardashians.

    Like

    Jenni recently posted The Conundrum of Parenthood.

  45. Hilarious!!! Thank you always making me laugh.

    Like

  46. Holy Shitsnacks! Mayby… mayby call the ASPCA? Not sure.. But this donkey needs a shave.

    Like

  47. That Swan Finland or whatever it was video. The one under your top ten weird shit. Really?

    Dude was kinda hot till he opened his mouth.

    Like I’ve never said THAT after a first date.

    Like

    Carrie recently posted Losing ain’t really losing when you’re winning..

  48. I don’t get why all of these interesting things happen to you all the time. If I could just have ONE day like the days you have in my lifetime, I will have succeeded.

    Like

  49. I think you meant to write “death mask” instead of “desk mask” in the “missed on the Internets” list. Unless desk and death mean the same thing, in which case I am definitely not going to work tomorrow.

    Like

    Laura @ Unlikely Explanations recently posted Your Feeble Attempts to Ruin My Life Have Not Succeeded.

  50. please leave a “shave me” sign on the side of the poor thing. and report them. POOR DONKEY!

    Like

  51. In hawaii I once saw a zebra lying in someone front yard. Either that or it was dead.

    Like

    Mrs. Mustache recently posted A Hug Is Just A Strangle You Haven’t Finished Yet.

  52. And here I was thinking he was Chewbacca who had seen better days…

    To infinity and beyond!

    Prevail~Tattoo Girl

    Like

  53. 1. I love you people.

    2. The donkey is fine. It’s apparently a rare, French donkey that is prized for it’s dreadlocks and was almost extinct until people started conservation efforts to breed it. It was with some horses who all looked shiny and awesome, and they were protected behind a barbed-wire fence that no sane person would ever scale. No worries.

    Like

    Jenny the bloggess recently posted AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD.

  54. ps… i realize that’s a breed, but still? couldn’t he use a nice clip and fresh start?

    Like

  55. No harm in calling animal control, just in case. He shouldn’t have been out wandering around anyhow.

    Like

  56. Just once, I wanna be a fly on the wall in your house. The conversations between you and Victor make me crack the fuck up.

    Like

    Mel recently posted I have the craziest conversations..

  57. Most adults can’t see Snuffy, anyway. Apparently, Victor is one of those people. He should know by now to at least humor you when you see mythical creatures. Of course, if it HAD been a Sasquatch, he was probably afraid you’d take it home and reenact some bizarre alternate universe Sesame Street with the Sasquatch and Beyonce.

    Like

    Dawne recently posted Wanted: Rollertoaster.

  58. My husband and I have had two almost exact same conversations as this one. The first time it turned out that the upsidedown turtle in the middle of the road was an empty box of twinkies, which I admit was my bad. But then one winter we came across a miniature puma! It was tinier than a cat but totally looked like a full grown puma. My father in law saw it later and claimed that it’s a naked gofer, but I still say that there’s a mini stalking the neighborhood somewhere.

    Like

    Untypically Jia recently posted Purple People Eater.

  59. Will you please post pictures of this poor donkey *after* you get his/her hair did for him/her???

    Like

    Gina recently posted Halloween: If this doesn't scare you, I don't know what will....

  60. Kudos on the effective gambling while road-tripping.

    Like

  61. hahaha!! you know you’re gonna get some pretty awesome search words now, like Hairy Asses and braided Ass hair. Rock on! this was the best post yet!

    Like

    Gypsie recently posted Weekly wrap-up.

  62. I hide indoors because I don’t want to freak out the kind of people who call the police at anything weird-looking. Nice world we have here.

    Like

  63. My vet has informed me that my dachshund is bald. Maybe I can make a wig for my dog from this little guy’s dreads!

    Like

  64. I need to dedicate an entire post to weird videos I’ve found on the internet….. there’s just so many.

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    Jaime recently posted a heart as deep as the ocean....

  65. I am somewhat comforted by your update there that the donkey is supposed to look like that. As long as he’s happy I guess.

    Like

    Stephanie recently posted The English-to-Man Dictionary.

  66. That is AWESOME. Do you ever wonder how many people could have awesome shit like this happen to them every day and don’t because they’re too busy being Srs Bsns?

    I am so sad for those people.

    Like

    DesertBell recently posted It Wasn’t Me, It Was Him- Jury Duty Pt. 2.

  67. You know what? I’m jealous of Sasquatch (AKA Snuffaluffagus) the Donkey. He has better hair than I do.

    “No, the Rastafarian movement isn’t recruiting animals — this donkey is actually naturally dreadlocked. Her name is Lambada, and she’s one of the incredibly rare Baudet de Poitou donkeys of Poitou-Charente, France. With 1,000 or fewer left in the world, the Poitou are rarer than pandas and white rhinos.” http://www.aolnews.com/2010/07/21/hold-for-buck-edited-dreadlocked-donkey-is-one-rare-ass/

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  68. Now why don’t I ever see those in the petting zoo’s?!

    Like

    Manda recently posted Musings Extra: Fort Massac Encampment.

  69. That is an extremely exasperated donkey. It’s giving you a look as if to say “Excuse me, I’m eating? Do you mind NOT taking pictures of my butt?”

    Like

    Beth recently posted Jesus is a dirty commie.

  70. I don’t want you to let this experience fool you into thinking there are no Sasquatches.

    They are out there, and they are hungry. And NOT for grass, my friend.

    Watch yourself.

    Like

    Rev. Back It On Up 13 recently posted Halloween Nightmares for the Modern Age.

  71. Ellen: I don’t think he was wandering. Jenny mentioned 2ish times that she scaled a fence to get to him. Jenny- if you call the police for some reason, I would leave that part out.

    Like

  72. I, for one, am VERY glad you updated. Obviously, this particular city girl is unaware of exotic donkey breeds (cuz, what the fuck?)

    However, if you ever decide to emulate his hairstyle, I WILL shave your hair. Cuz that’s what friends do😉

    Like

    Linz recently posted Charge your Creative Battery.

  73. 73
    Kathryn Franks

    I need to need to be on road trips with you….my husband never would have stopped to indulge me of my sasquatch sighting….I have been on the verge of photographing Chupacabra but Kevin wouldn’t go for it!!!

    Like

  74. So disappointed it’s not a Sasquatch. I want to believe!

    Like

    Nicki recently posted Baby Baby Stick Your Head In Gravy.

  75. You should still watch out for sasquatches in the road. We hot a raccoon once, and it totally fucked up the front of our van. I can only imagine the damage a Sasquatch would do. Plus, the hair would be everywhere.

    Like

    Kate recently posted Boo humbug.

  76. Brushing one’s donkey sounds wrong and dirty. If you’re a 12 year old boy, like I seem to be tonight.

    Like

    C @ Kid Things recently posted Not Yet a Man.

  77. I have my Halloween costume idea, finally! I just won’t brush my hair until November.

    Strangest creature I’ve seen on the road was a ferret. It was doing a peculiar inch-worm thing across the road right in front of the car. We stopped for it to cross, completely dumbfounded as we tried to identify the thing crossing a city street. “That’s … not a squirrel.” It was likely sick and had been dumped so this is kind of a sad story but it was probably eaten by a hawk or other animal pretty quick

    Like

    Julie recently posted Voodoo and peanut butter in the North Metro.

  78. I just DIED laughing. My mom’s going to be mad at you (she’s the only one who would really care that I was dead except the cats because nobody would feed them).
    DIED.

    Like

    dysfunctional mom recently posted Never Have I Ever.....

  79. Sigmund the sea monster and Johnny and Scott are friends. The finest friends you ever did see on the land or in the sea.

    ::pause::

    Shit – still in my head.

    Like

    mrtl recently posted If You Ask a Five-Year-Old for Directions.

  80. I’ve tried to explain why God made snakes and flies and even roaches. I have some faith that there’s a purpose beyond what I can see–but what the hell is that? Because playing a joke like that on something that’s already called an ass? Not cool, God.

    Like

    Lori Sizemore recently posted How to Raise Your Characters Above the Status Quo @ WritersDigest.com.

  81. Wow. So I’m totally glad it wasn’t IN the road and you guys had hit it instead of just having this oddly bizarre conversation about it. I mean ONLY 700 of them? The guilt of killing one would have been unbearable I would think. I mean I know they said there could be 1000. but is it really worth the risk? Although, it would have made a lovely addition to James Garfield and the Cobra/Mongoose. Although, you’d have had to have the whole thing taxidermied because from the neck up it just looks like a regular donkey and that’s just makes you seem cold-hearted. And strange.

    Like

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  82. My husband always says he’s relieved we don’t have a farm because I’d totally have a donkey like that. Also those shaggy highland cattle, the chickens with the feathery feet, and every stray, decrepit dog in the area. Plus maybe an aye aye or two (look those up, Jenny. Totally your kind of creature).
    I’m a sucker for the slightly odd. Which I tell my husband is why I chose him… Haha!

    Like

  83. That’s some seriously raggedy ass.

    Like

    Julie recently posted Back to life, back to reality.

  84. I like that donkey a whole bunch. It looks like it has lots of bugs crawling in it’s fur, and lots of people would be really allergic to it and nobody would love it except a really special, big-hearted person. But not me.

    Like

    Craftwhack recently posted Traveling Fashionista.

  85. On a side note, does the fact that you are now advertising batteries have anything to do with you also working for a sex toy company? Very nice! PR well done!

    Like

  86. I think there’s just no way a donkey’s hair would be this long. I’ve see photos of neglected donkies and horses and their feet tend to be overgrown and maybe mane/tail but their body hair seems to remain short without any clipping. So it makes total sense that it’s a rare breed and he’s such a cutie under that crazy fur.

    Like

    loudlyshy recently posted How Animorphs Ruined My Life.

  87. I know someone with geese like that. I swear to baby Jesus. They look like rasta geese, or maybe a cross between that donkey and a very angry goose.

    Like

    Carri recently posted Things I’m More Envious of Than Courtney Stodden.

  88. A way to see how things look when people smoke too much pot…looks like there’s an app for that!

    Like

    TriGirl recently posted PT Stands for "Pathetically Tri-ing".

  89. Can I just say that I, for one, am glad you didn’t kill the poor Poitou Ass, as it is a conserved species, and killing it would probably have landed you in jail for a few years, especially since there’s only like 140 of them in the world. Which makes me think there might only be 140 of them
    because they’re hideous, really, and maybe there are only 140 KNOWN living Poutoi Asses because the rest of them are in hiding, scared of their own, hideous, hairy shadows. The moral of this comment is that thank God you didn’t find a Sasquatch on the side of the road, because that really would have flipped your shit.

    Like

  90. I would really like to see that donkey hang out with Copernicus. I feel like they could really be friends, minus Snuffle’s clear lack of homicidal tendencies.

    Like

    Amanda recently posted @dawestheband 's Time Spent In Los Angeles music video.

  91. 91
    David Galiel

    That was Tom Baudet de Poitou. He’ll leave the light on for you.*

    *Note to the real Tom Bodett: I was most certainly NOT calling you an ass. It’s a pun, I thought you’d appreciate it. Please restrain the constables. Sheesh.

    Like

  92. Laughing so hard at that hairy ass that I can’t check the links right now… I’ll need to come back later … after I change my pants that I peed in from laughing so hard.

    You should report that donkey owner to Posey’s vet… they’ll set ‘im straight.

    Like

    XLMIC recently posted Garmin Grief.

  93. Eeyore trippin’ on LSD & reggae. Nice.

    Like

    Paula recently posted Say, Huh? (#9).

  94. I’m kind of curious as to how you found out what type of donkey it was. Did you google “weird, hairy donkeys?” It seems like that could be dangerous …

    Also, wow. That’s a freaky donkey.

    Like

    Jaime recently posted Homemade Friday: Handknit hand-me-downs.

  95. Everyone who remembers when only Big Bird could see Snuffleupagus has a responsibility to Jim Henson’s memory to buy that card.

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  96. Nice ass.

    Like

  97. How great would it be if snuffleupagusses really did exist?

    Like

    Coffee Lovin' Mom recently posted Lack of Grounds...Grounds for Divorce?.

  98. What is a rare near-extinct french donkey doing in Texas? I think it’s much more likely that it was Sasquatch in disguise!

    Like

  99. As my Mom would say “That’s the reason we can’t have nice things!!!”

    Honestly, if you can’t take care of your ass – all is lost.

    Like

    Maura @evewaspartiallyright.blogspot.com recently posted Smart Balance Peanut Butter.

  100. i wanted to laugh, but am honestly appalled at your lack of concern for the poor donkey.

    Like

  101. I sincerely hope you got an address so everyone can send them cards telling them to “Shave Yo’ Ass!”

    Like

    DogsOnDrugs.com recently posted This Is What Cocaine Does To You.

  102. Dude, that is a French donkey. A Pitou donkey to be exact which is very rare and tooooo cute. Bigger than the hugest horse. In fact, the cutest. donkeys. alive. (if you are a donkye lover…which I am). Google them. They live in NH and I want one. This one is very far from home so send him back. He looks hot and lonely.

    Like

  103. Why is it when I hear the statement that something is safe behind a barbed wire fence that no sane person would climb over that I worry about you crawling over it?

    Like

    Morgan Drake Eckstein recently posted You could be a bomb.

  104. Because you know me?

    Like

    Jenny the bloggess recently posted AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD.

  105. I am a Sasquatch conesier…connessuir…conesseur. Crap. Spell check doesn’t even know what I’m trying to say and I’m too lazy to look it up. I like sasquatches and was thus disappointed with the outcome of this post.

    Like

  106. Okay, so apparently this is indeed a certain kind of donkey whose coat grows in these long dreadlocks. But, the poor thing certainly doesn’t belong in hot, hot Texas!! I guess you learn something new every day…

    Like

  107. So what you’re saying is that either that donkey’s butt looks like a face, or snuffelupogus’ face looks like a butt. Either way my childhood is ruined (just a little.)

    Like

    Angela@BeggingTheAnswer recently posted 30 Million Day Blog Challenge #3: A picture of something you cannot live without..

  108. Wow! You got to see an endangered animal! And you did not endanger it! It is pretty cool, that donkey.

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Trailing Clouds of Glory.

  109. I believe that’s a Sasquatch with a Snuffleupegus stuck up it’s butt.

    Like

  110. Are you sure that is not a lama?

    Like

  111. ribbons. the kind with sparkles. at the end of EVERY SINGLE DREADLOCK. That would be awesome. And blinding in the sun. And cause more people to say “OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT”

    Like

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  112. This is the coolest donkey I have ever seen- and great name too “Poitou Donkey”. Why, why, why is it endangered? Damn hash fiends using its dreads for stoner locks of love? Bass turds.

    Like

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  113. I assumed hairy cow. I was wrong.

    Poor Donkeh.

    Like

    Not_Supermom recently posted A Memory for an Evening.

  114. ok, it fricking figures, we can blame the French for the endangerment of these majestic creatures. Apparently once all the french farmer got cars and tractors and shit with wheels, the didn’t need the donkeys anymore – so bass turds started eating them. EATING THEM! I might expect that of a stoned Rastafarian, but the french? Cochon! http://www.aolnews.com/2010/07/21/hold-for-buck-edited-dreadlocked-donkey-is-one-rare-ass/

    Like

  115. I got chased by a cow a few weeks ago while out for a run, only I was too chicken shit to go near it at first because I thought it was several humans hunched over a campfire cooking meth. I don’t wear my glasses when I’m running.

    Like

    Lorca Damon recently posted Don’t Make Me Quisle You.

  116. And just like that, I realize how dull my life really is.

    Like

  117. That is one mangy looking donkey!! It was probably so pissed you thought it was a bear/sasquatch/snuffelupagus. That’s why it was ignoring you.

    Like

    A Morning Grouch recently posted Izzint Bloggeen Grate?.

  118. You met Snuffie!!!!!! Wait, you met Chewbacca!!!! Wait, you met a rare, Rastafarian donkey!!!! You had quite a day.

    Like

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  119. Weird donkey.

    But AMAZING Hailey! God she looks like she’s full of joy and power and sweetness and sass and I LOVE it!

    And when I see her like that, I think about seeing my son like that and I remember that sometimes when I see him feeling so joyful and powerful I whisper a secret prayer/whatever “please please please don’t let him ever struggle with the depression/anxiety/doom, please just make that a thing that i didn’t pass on to him” and I wonder if other mothers who struggle with their own mental illness whisper the same prayer/thing. I’m guessing they do.

    Go get ’em Hailey!

    Like

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  120. OK, you DID get a tetanus shot, right? Those Texas bob-wahr fences are DIRTY!

    Like

  121. Holy crapola…from that first pic..I honestly did not know what the hell I was looking at.

    Like

    Shan recently posted They Could Go All The Way!.

  122. whenever i think of growing my hair out so i can go back to french braids and banana clips I’m going to think of this donkey

    Like

  123. Seriously, only you could find Sasquatch AND get a picture of it. Dayum girl.

    Like

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  124. At least it will be warm for winter.

    Like

  125. Maybe he is just a Rastafarian Donkey and we shouldn’t judge his spiritual look.

    Like

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  126. Don’t be sad at all. This made me giggle like the premenstrual maniac that I am.

    Hilarious.

    Like

    Catherine recently posted and so goes the cycle.

  127. just cuz i’m hip and relevant to your snuffy bidness:

    you’re welcome…

    Like

    RNTgirl Kirsten recently posted wtf: opening up a big ol’ can of wumpus.

  128. Geebus, a donkey with dreadlocks – now I’ve seen everything. And in Texas, no less. And as seen by the Bloggess, no less. Wait, actually, I should not be surprised at all that all three of these things go together. Another reason for me to be proud to be a Texan.

    Like

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  129. You observation skills are clearly under appreciated. Victor should be proud that you are so aware of your surroundings! You will never be caught unawares by a wandering Snuffleupagus, Chupacabra, Sasquatch, or Big-Foot ever.

    -A huge fan of your blog who had been creeping for a while but finally decided to comment!

    Like

  130. for a moment I thought that was my hairy ass but nope I checked and he is still safe and sound on the couch in front of the boob tube

    ….sry Ian couldn’t resist, mwah

    Like

    Jamie recently posted Doggy Style or if you prefer Ian's School of Sex Ed.

  131. 131
    Erika Marie

    Fuck. That’s another thing I need to ask my husband for. A Rastafarian donkey. A Rastadonkian.

    Like

  132. There are never enough opportunities to say, “You guys need to brush your donkey!”

    Like

    Brian recently posted Dreambomb, or 50 Word Dreams, or Expectations smashed all up in my face/grill..

  133. You are so funny! My 14 year-old daughter and I laughed so hard! I can totally see the resemblance to a sasquatch and Snuffie. And, for the record, I think that donkey is cute, in a bedraggled kind of way.

    Like

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  134. I was waiting for you to tell us that the donkey made waffles for you.

    Like

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  135. And you didn’t play any reggae for him?

    Jenna

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  136. Um, wow?

    Also, a dreadlocked donkey in Texas, that just feels weird to me. Like, won’t the poor thing get really hot under all that coat?

    Like

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  137. First, post #91 (David Galiel) – Excellent comment!

    Second, after reading every single comment (on this and the last several posts), it is apparent that some people post without reading the other comments. No, no, no, no, no. You must read the comments! I know, you don’t think anything could be better than Jenny’s posts, and I’m not saying the comments are better; it’s just MORE of the funny!

    You are some seriously whacky, pithy, witty people! You’re like “value-added” for this blog.

    Like

    Scarlett recently posted Making Progress on the Little Forest Quilt Along.

  138. Oh, darlin’! You SLAY me!

    Like

  139. 1) This is the first time all day I’ve seen the term “sasqualleupagus” used correctly.

    Secondly, how is it, Jenny, that you seem to attract this stuff? Any normal person could go years without seeing anything like a dreadlocked donkey on the side of the road, but you encounter stuff this bizarre weekly.

    C) Never mind #2, because I think I’ve figured it out. The original Mr. Snuffleupagus was always hanging out with Big Bird, and you have a big, metal bird at your house (wearing a winged pig on its head). It all makes sense now.

    Like

    Brian the Kwyjibo recently posted Just File This One Under Miscellaneous.

  140. Ja man, Bob Marley is alive and well, grazing in Texas.

    Like

  141. Jenny, you’ve fallen for the old ‘Sasquatch disguised as a donkey in a sniper suit’ trick. You aren’t the first, either. Those bastards are sneaky, I’ll say that for them. Check to make sure he didn’t lift your wallet while you were trying to figure out what he was…

    Like

  142. The donkey be rasta, mohn.

    Like

    hogsatemysister recently posted Waco Twinkies and Police Chief Porn.

  143. That was awesome! Dreadlocks, animals and redemption all in one blog! Fabulous!

    Like

  144. The difference between your husband and mine. My husband would NEVER have turned the car around to indulge my runaway curiosity. Go give Victor a hug from me … and I’ll go give mine an elbow to the ribs. And then neither one of us should explain why.

    Also, I seriously want to brush out your donkey friend with a lice comb. Or maybe pay a school nurse to do it.

    Like

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  145. I’m trying to make a list of all the freaky stuff Jenny is an expert on, and so far I’ve got sasquatches, zombies, unicorns, polydactyl kittens, chupacabras, magical wolf puppets, nosferatus… what am I missing?

    Like

    Brian the Kwyjibo recently posted Just File This One Under Miscellaneous.

  146. Oh, French donkey, that totally makes sense.

    Like

    Jen recently posted Whose reality?.

  147. Did you know those suckers are totally endangered when you took his picture? Why are they endangered? Because people are staking them next to the road as Sasquatch bait.

    If someone else said this in your comments, I said it first.

    Like

    The Good Luck Duck recently posted Goats, see?.

  148. Thank you so much for letting us all know this is not some Rastafarian donkey eating “grass.” This would have been disturbing without the follow up, you kept me from tossing and turning tonight.

    Like

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  149. holy crap that is one rare-ass donkey. Of course, I thought it was a Puli, when I was really thinking of a Komondor. The only way my husband would turn the car around is if we started fighting, and he’d have to prove me wrong. Of course that didn’t end up so well for him last time, as we ended up picking up a husky (ahem – NOT a wolf) who is now our husky.

    Like

    Neeroc recently posted Conversations with V – The Halloween edition.

  150. You don’t know me and we’ll probably never meet, but you make me laugh out loud, you bring funny into my life on a level I never knew existed and on the days you don’t post, I’m strangely bereft…. Thanks for touching this stranger’s life.

    laura

    Like

  151. Whew… back for more … with dry pants this time😉

    Isn’t it hard to believe that the French would tolerate something so aesthetically DISpleasing? But then again, of course it’s French… poor tortured soul that has something sadly comical about it.

    And the links are spectacular, as always. I think the cuchini is a waste though… guys find camel-toe oddly appealing😛 or so says my husband.

    Like

    XLMIC recently posted Garmin Grief.

  152. #10 on your sex column (I don’t have a way to leave a comment there) is probably a pictoral representation of someone having kittens. A rather detailed and disturbinly graphic way of presenting the phrase, but having kittens (as there is more than one cat, and they are obviously about to be newborns) nonetheless.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=having%20kittens

    Like

  153. What animal do you mate with a donkey to produce THAT?

    Like

    Bathwater recently posted Sugar We're Going Down.

  154. I used to live next door to a donkey. I didn’t think it was a big deal until he grew a big boner every time I took him an apple. We had to confront the owner when the donkey AND the horse started jumping the fence and showing up in our driveway.

    I admit: your hairy donkey has me quite jealous. I would have totally taken more photos had I known impressive hair-growth was something I needed to ‘show up’ later in life.

    I’m talking 12″ at least. =/

    Like

  155. Wow!! Why does all the good things happen to you! What a bizarre encounter! Lol😉

    Like

    MangoChutney recently posted R.I.P to My Rack!.

  156. That was the most bizarre donkey I’ve ever seen!

    How funny!

    Like

    Cheryl D. recently posted Life Well Lived--A Chance to Win $250!.

  157. You know… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to comment on your blog and say something to catch your attention so you can truly understand how you impact my life. Whether it’s with laughter or deep understanding of the psychological stuff, you move me. Just wanted to let you know and thank you for the wonderful laugh today.
    ~Shay

    (You made my day. Thank you! ~Jenny)

    Like

  158. This has nothing to do with anything BUT I was walking downtown today after getting out of a horrible Film Fest movie (doc shorts — don’t go) when a weird door opened up from one of the bars or restaurants (I don’t really know where we were, I was just following people) AND a bunch of girl NINJAS walked out. I was totally excited and scared and confused. A guy I was with was like, “The fuck?” and one of the ninja chicks was like “haven’t you ever seen a bunch of girl ninjas before?” And I said, “Uh, NO, I haven’t.”

    Then the guy I was walking with said it was a scavenger hunt. I have no idea what he’s talking about. They had SWORDS.

    Also, there is a zombie ball next weekend.

    Like

  159. You need a bag and/or shirt with a picture of the snuffleupadonkey and the tag line “wash/clean/brush your endangered ass”.

    Like

  160. I thank you, Jenny. I thank all your commenteers (new word, made it up) for fantastic reading tonight!

    Like

  161. OMG! Animals Talking In All Caps?? I frickin cried I laughed so hard. Plus, he’s got a shit-load of them to keep me happy for hours! You find the best shit on the internet and love you. Now, I gotta go read more ATIAC. BOOM!

    Like

  162. That shit is totally reDONKulous!

    Like

  163. I hope you send them a letter so when it dies you can get your dad to stuff it, dies from old age of course hapy and surrounded bu lots of loving haridressers or soemthing. you could put it with Beyonce and the snake and mongoose. Or in Victor’s office. Victor would love that or it make Victor bang his head on the wall again. Also it would give James Garfield a new friend to talk to at night when everyone has gone to bed. The monkey might be jealous though

    Like

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  164. You definitely have a no 1 husband my husband wouldn’t let me have a James Garfield well he wouldn’t buy me one. and i had to buy my own metal chicken i couldn’t find one that was 5′ tall obviously all the people near me bought them first.

    Like

    Peta recently posted Wasabi Leaves Salad.

  165. omgeezy. The website you posted said that thing is endangered but is that really an animal we should be trying to save? Did you look at the pictures? There’s definitely one where the damn thing is trying to kill me. I say you go back and snipe it. Do it for all of us. Before it chews on our faces in our sleep.

    Like

  166. “YOU GUYS NEED TO BRUSH YOUR DONKEY”

    *snorts coffee out of nose*

    Like

  167. that TOTALLY looked like Snuffalafagous!!!!! I love Snuffalafagous!!! I would have made immediate plans to fly there and hug him for days… weeks… months…

    By the way, you started out saying “Actual Conversation with Victor”

    You mean the others you’ve written about aren’t actual conversations with Victor? Which would be very sad because his awesomeness rating would totally drop….

    Like

  168. Logical fallacy alert: the fact that the breed exists does not validate the sentence, “they are supposed to look like that.” Nothing is supposed to look like that.

    I know. My German Angora rabbit’s ass looks like that and it frightens me.

    Like

    Jess recently posted Speed Up and Smarten Up..

  169. Wha? I thought that donkey was going to be a dog. That is the weirdest looking donkey I’ve EVER seen!

    Like

    Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted Prank you. I mean, thank you..

  170. Ok, I have to be the bumpkin nerd here….I have wanted one of these donkeys for YEARS. I saw one in photo from France and fell in love. However, the price tag on these beasts makes it WAY out of my range. If they ever have one too many, I would be happy to make a home for it. I would even send you pics of it in the pasture with my grey mare, Luna. I would even name it after you.

    Sigh. I want….

    Like

  171. That is one bad-ass ass!

    ~EdT.

    Like

    EdT. recently posted Orange.

  172. OK, that donkey may be supposed to look like that, i.e. he may be supposed to have dreadlocks, but those aren’t dreadlocks. Those are NEGLECTED dreadlocks.

    Not that I know jack about dreadlocks, I just know that the look on that donkey’s face says “kill me” and not “I’m a Rasta Ass”.

    Like

    Wag the Dad recently posted Lose Some of Your Needs (Angie v. Dad Monday).

  173. Wow! You photographed a rare Rasta-Donkey. He wasn’t smoking was he? Oh wait, that would be ridiculous because he doesn’t have thumbs. But, if he had cloven hooves, he could probably pull it off.

    Like

    The Blog Snobs recently posted Countdown to Launch.

  174. Well, thanks for sharing the story of your hairy ass with us. 😉

    Like

    Dangerboy recently posted A Trip Down Nostalgia Street, vol 11.

  175. I haven’t seen an ass that hairy since college.

    I’ve said too much.

    Like

    moooooog35 recently posted The Spanish American Anthem.

  176. No, No, NO!! It could NOT have been Sasquatch. I told y’all..and you’d know this is any of you actually read my blog…that he’s taken to selling insurance in Dallas.

    Geez, people! We could have avoided a lot of disappointment if you would just pay attention.

    On the other hand, you did get to see something as rare as a white rhino, so you have that and I don’t.

    Like

    awesomesauciness recently posted I Can’t Hear You!.

  177. the key word in your comment is “SANE” which clearly does NOT apply to you!!!

    LUFF it!

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    knows not what I do.. recently posted I CUP.

  178. I just want to point out, for the record, that I believed you wholeheartedly. If you tell me that you’ve seen Snuffie, then you’ve seen Snuffie! You don’t exaggerate, ever…

    That ass needs some trimmers. I’m sure I’m not the first one to utter this sentence.

    Like

    Sarah recently posted Writing as a Lifestyle.

  179. 180
    Wendy Gregory

    I just want to say…I think I have a girl crush on you! How can you not have a crush on someone that makes tears roll down your leg from laughing so hard??

    Like

  180. I assumed it was a Highland Cow. I like Snuffleufagus better. How the hell do you spell that, anyway?

    Anyway, nice ass.

    Like

    Not_Supermom recently posted The Labrador: An Ode to Poe.

  181. Although I’m disappointed that the donkey didn’t turn out to be a Sasquatch OR a Snuffleupagus, I always love reading your conversations with Victor because they could totally be conversations between me and my husband. On a related note, my husband also thinks that you may be a bad influence on me.

    Like

    Don't Poke the Crazy recently posted My solid relationship.

  182. That would have scared the ever-loving hell out of me. I would have run like the hounds of hell were chasing me (because for all I knew, that thing was a hell hound) and never, ever would have driven down that road again because THAT’S WHERE SATAN LIVES.

    Like

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  183. That is one hairy ass.

    Like

    Julie recently posted Preggo my Eggo Update: 30 weeks down, 10 to go..

  184. Oh my goodness! Those are rarer than Pandas!

    Like

  185. You found the offspring of a donkey and a Snuffleupagus. That’s incredible.

    That slingshot is literally 5 minutes from my house. And I’ve never been. Sad day for me.

    Like

    Kendahl recently posted Wordless Wednesday - even more Halloween toes. I'm over the top, k?.

  186. I vote YES on Tyra’s suggestion. Comment 156 FTW.

    Like

  187. it’s amazing what really exists out there. When I was a kid I remember looking through a book of sea life. There’s weirder creatures under the sea!!

    Like

  188. Maybe it’s a Jamaican Donkey… in which case the dreds might be a religious statement…

    Like

    Joni recently posted The "F" words - Fun, Festivities and FOOD!.

  189. Totally righteous Rasta Eeyore. Ja love, baby.

    Like

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  190. That resembles my hair in the morning. Poor donkey is in desperate need of a massive bottle of detangler.

    Like

    Christi recently posted Tot in Tow: Tips For Successful Family Travel.

  191. Well, it seems everyone has the safety conditions and history of the donkey covered so I will focus my worry on Victor’s lack of belief and that my hands are numb from clapping! As always…a giggle filled post!

    Like

    Jeane recently posted It’s Never Far….

  192. You could seriously do a blog of just conversations with Victor. I can’t even stop laughing when I read them. You two are hysterical!

    Like

    Devon recently posted Up On The Roof by Devon Stewart.

  193. I’ve never actually seen a donkey like that, but I did find THIS on the internet, about shaggy haired donkeys. I apologize if 140 people have already posted! Also, the resemblance to Snuffleupagus is amazing.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baudet_de_Poitou

    Like

    Charity recently posted Cunt Punt..

  194. great..just great. Exactly the shit I see, photograph and write about.

    Like

  195. i read this entry and thought, “i’m so fucking glad that i’m not married. or in a relationship, for that matter! how boring!” and then i spotted your image of Snuffleupagus, and i laughed, not as hard as i laughed while reading ellen’s new book, but i laughed enough to justify my subscription to your blog. merci beaucoup!😉

    Like

  196. That is so weird. And gross. And strange. And I can’t believe you approached that thing! Ha ha ha ha.

    Like

  197. I think everyone is missing an important point here, which is that, although you were wrong in your identification, you were LESS WRONG than Victor. And that is meaningful shit.

    Like

    Chuck Baudelaire recently posted I For One Welcome Our New Apple Overlords.

  198. There are only 400 in the world and you saw one? That’s pretty cool. And weird. What is this guy doing in Texas? It’s way too hot here for that look. Maybe there are more than 400 but you can’t recognize them because the Texans have shown mercy and given them a good shave. I would. And sew the hair onto hats to sell at Bob Marley concerts.

    Like

    Holly recently posted Dark Truth by Mariah Stewart.

  199. “You need to stop the car so I can get out, BECAUSE I JUST SAW A BEAR EATING GRASS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.”

    I love the line of logic here. I would totally do that (got some good pictures of a vulture eating something once)

    Like

    Giuseppi Giraffe recently posted Stuff that’s now old news..

  200. ALSO: that bit about people forking over a dollar for lacking faith in you was either a stroke of genius or sounds like the seedling beginning of a bloggess religious cult which I would seriously join.

    Like

    Giuseppi Giraffe recently posted Stuff that’s now old news..

  201. crapola. that looks like my jewfro when i don’t use conditioner.

    Like

    lunch at 11:30 recently posted a jersey girl goes to under armour.

  202. That is one of the most hideous looking animals I have ever seen. No, not your dying cat. The donkey. Although your cat is looking a little rough. Sigh.

    Like

  203. Thank goodness you clarified that the donkey was supposed to look like that or I would have called the police from here. Poor thing. I still don’t entirely believe that anything is supposed to look like that but hey, sometimes I look like that so….

    Like

    Susan Says... recently posted Note to Self: Don't Make Idle Conversation With Men Buying Hockey Masks.

  204. Did you even think about us at all when you were confronting an alleged Sasquatch? Something horrible could have happened to you and then where would we be? You have a blog full of readers at home Jenny, it’s time to GROW UP. And, no, it doesn’t matter that it was just a donkey because it could have easily been a Sasquatch and YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WASN’T A SASQUATCH AND YOU WENT OVER THAT FENCE ANYWAY! I think you need to spend some time thinking about what is really important while you sleep on the couch tonight.

    Like

  205. You should know by now that sasquatch has been run out of Texas. They’ve peacefully relocated to Canada where they need not fear gun or camera phone toting Texans.

    Like

    mark @ yelling near you recently posted Introducing Bitsy.

  206. That’s what I look like when I don’t pluck or wax… anything. Thank you for making me feel so self-conscious.

    Like

    Dani recently posted Passive Aggressive Facebooking: Decoded and Unplugged.

  207. I feel your pain Bloggess, I too mistook an animal at first glance…

    Except my encounter ended with me hitting a mailbox with my car because I was staring down the GIANT deer (actually a medium sized dog) in my rear view mirror.

    You’re lucky the dreadlock donkey didn’t get you caught up in his illegal substance dealing ring. I hear those kinds of donkeys are known for trouble.

    Like

  208. Hey….that’s my dog!! LOL

    I have NEVER seen anything THAT bad in the donkey world in my entire life!!

    So glad you share your ZEST for nature!!

    Like

    T:) recently posted Is Cussing WRONG??.

  209. Saw the same d*mned creature one time, of course, on the back-roads of Texas! Swore to my husband it was a prehistoric rhinosaurus. He didn’t believe me. Punk.

    Like

  210. I love that you not only captured the creature on film (er, digital media stuffs?) to share with us, but you also did thorough ass research. Proving once again just how awesome you are.

    Like

    Wombat Central recently posted Movie Monday – 50/50.

  211. Bloggess, have you SEEN this? It’s got Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion and OMG!!!
    http://muchadothemovie.com/

    Like

  212. Snuffleupagus’s face looks like a donkey’s patootie! Heehee. Also, the ads you write are awesome. All ads should be as entertaining as the content. It’d be like Superbowl Sunday every day! (And I’m from Wisconsin, so that’s like saying it’d be a holiday every day. With beer. And Cheetos.)

    Like

    Dana the Biped recently posted Three Legs, Third Wheel.

  213. I mean someone REALLY needs to brush that poor donkey.

    Like

    BusyWorkingMama recently posted New Dormers & Tubular Skylights Project Update #HandyHubby.

  214. I’d really hate to see what the owners look like. Texas chainsaw massacre anyone?

    Like

  215. completely unrelated… have you heard of this genius: villafanestudios.com
    seems up your alley.

    manbearpigdonkey

    Like

    Simone recently posted Down and out in Cheviot Hills.

  216. I love reading your blog, and typically do so while I’m eating lunch at my favorite cafe. Today I decided to be exciting and clicked on your link to the “10 weirdest things…” and my domain said the site was blocked because of “nudity” and “pornography”, now I’m definitely going to home to find out what you’re hiding behind those links.🙂

    Like

  217. and now if someone says he found you while searching for “hairy ass woman”, you’ll be all like -“oh yeah – the sasquatch post” and think nothing of it.

    Like

  218. Why is no one asking the obvious question, “What the f**k is an endangered donkey from France doing here in TEXAS?!?! Texans love guns, Texans love shooting things, I’m thinking this is not the best place for any endangered species.

    Like

  219. I’m sorry I doubted you. It will not happen again.

    I hope Victor said the same thing because – dude snuffleasasquatch – totally!

    Like

    My Baby Sweetness recently posted As long as I decided to start blogging again.... (maybe).

  220. HUMAN SLING SHOT.

    !!!!!

    I need to do that so bad.
    Bloggess, let’s go!!!

    Like

    Rebecca recently posted I am Bad at This:.

  221. Thank God something interesting happened to you. I really needed the laugh after such a sad, irritating, and crap-assed day. Plus, it’s always good to know I’m not the only one willing to trespass to get a pic of a donkey-squatch.

    Like

    Rachel recently posted When Good Girls Go Bad....

  222. Ladies, get off my case.
    Let me ask you how do you look in the mirror first thing in the morning?

    Signed.
    Monsieur Le Donkey.

    Like

    soubriquet recently posted I Stole This Picture from the Interwebs.

  223. a snuffy wannabe ass! almost as good as a sasquatch!

    Like

    karen recently posted I Nominate Myself For The Worst Mommy Blogger Ever.

  224. Did it smell as bad as it looked?

    Like

  225. The more I see that fucking donkey, the more I want it for myself. My family would adore it.

    Like

    Charity recently posted Y so srs?.

  226. Wil has gone meta on you! You need to check out his blog; I feel like the two of you are destined to meet soon.

    Like

  227. Great post! Just thought I’d give a little explanation for the creature you discovered…

    It appears that your donkey friend is suffering from Hyperadrenocorticism, also known as “Cushing-like Syndrome”. The lengthy hair coat is known as hirsutism and is a clinical symptom of this cushingoid syndrome in the equine species.

    That’s my best guess as to what’s going on with this critter. Unless, perhaps, you really did stumble upon a new creature altogether.

    Like

  228. argggggh shit you made me cry laughing tears again!

    NZ Fan

    Like

  229. I thought for sure it was a Scottish Highland cow. But wow, you outweirded me on this one. I’m the one that gets asked what critters are by my 11 year old nephew. Wow. I’ll have to share this ass with him!

    Like

  230. Donkeys like that make me want to move to Texas😀

    Like

  231. Hailey is so your daughter. How great is that?

    Like

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted She wasn’t what I’d thought; not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  232. 234
    Barefoot Liz

    I had a serious case of the giggles reading about your sasquatch experience. Giggling is painful (recovering from surgery) so I sounded like “teehheehahahahh…ow…bahahahah…ow dammit…hahahahahahheheeheh. Oww”

    Like

    Barefoot Liz recently posted Local Help Needed (MA).

  233. So what you’re saying is that we have an endangered ass living right here in Texas?

    Like

  234. This is a critically endangered Poitou donkey. The registry breeds rate them more highly the greater their dreads. You are a lucky person to have seen one up close and personal, because there are less than 500 of them left world wide.

    Like

  235. that donkey reminds me of my barista (obviously at a coffee shop of the local, fair trade, occupy wall street persuasion … )

    Like

  236. How long before there are “snuffy xing” signs up all around your neighborhood?

    Like

    addgirl recently posted Pinspiration and Injury.

  237. Too bad about the used organ thing. I was hoping to get rid of this extra kidney.

    Like

    Melissa Lawler recently posted What We're Cooking! - Buttermilk Biscuits, Buttermilk Fried Chicken and Cauliflower Popcorn #Gluten Free.

  238. That website says “Either way, that makes them one of the world’s most endangered animals. Even rarer than pandas. ” Conclusion: This was BETTER than seeing a sasquatch! WAY more rare! Call the History Channel!

    Like

  239. I really need to get out more because nothing cool like this ever happens to me.

    Like

  240. OK, but seriously, that’s a hairy ass ass.

    Did anyone else read the “user reviews” on the lube? I honestly can’t tell if some of those are real or not…

    Like

    Meg recently posted Travel Day!.

  241. I feel the urge to bring a pair of battery powered clippers and seek out the dreddy little guy. He needs a shave, and we could totally give him a bad ass mohawk.

    Like

    Vesta Vayne recently posted Cringe-inducing, innit?.

  242. Your daughter IS a bad ass! I’ve also raised a couple of bad ass daughters – I feel the world needs them🙂

    Like

  243. To all of the people who think this donkey has been neglected – it’s not. This is called a Poitou Donkey. They’re supposed to look like that. Research, people. Research. To Jenny – hilarious. It totally looks like a Snuffleupugus!

    Like

  244. My husband said it looked like a Donkey in a Ghillie suit….then he said if we put a guy in a Ghillie suit ON that thing, you could have a four-legged sasquatch thing…but like a CENTAUR-snuffalupagus. And you could put it on the road sign. Cuz it would be crossing.

    Like

  245. Talk about 10 weirdest things people have sent you this month. please please please watch this video. You shan’t regret it. I promise!

    Like

  246. Hey bloggess. Heard some of my friends had been giving me some shout outs on here, so I decided to check u out! Funny shit! I actually lived next to someone who owned one of those freak donkeys! Scary shit!! Hope u can visit my blog.
    Barkingwaffle.blogspot.com

    Like

  247. That donkey definitely looks like snuffalufagus.

    And your daughter is totally bad ass.

    Like

    (Newly Graduated) Irish Belle recently posted Indian Summer.

  248. Read “ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS” while listening to Romeo And Juliet, Ballet In 4 Acts, Op. 64, by Prokofiev, Sergey. You will love it.

    Like

  249. You are so freaking funny, Jenny! I LOL constantly when reading your blog! I make my husband read certain posts, he doesn’t laugh. What is wrong with him?!?! I seriously misjudged his sense of humor when we married! Oh well! I am apparently obsessed with exclamation points!!!!!!

    Like

  250. I don’t know if I already commented but I had to comment again because that’s a snufflelaughoupodjadofb (I can never spell that name right)

    Like

    Feryxlim recently posted Just workin' as pedobear (that's what they kept yelling at me anyway).

  251. Oh man! It seems you found something rarer than Sasquatch. You should sell donkey cards and donate to their conservation because that wonderful animal should never go extinct.

    Like

    Cynthia recently posted Simetra: Sneezed during a @TobyTurner video. Life goals complete..

  252. I always knew Snuffleupagus was real.

    Also, if I send you some bread & gingersnaps, will you please bring them to Snuffie as a treat????? She looks like she needs a little pick-me-up.

    And, you know, a female donkey is called a jenny, so you’re kinda obligated now.

    Like

    Kris recently posted 23 Years Too Late..

  253. Please please please tell me you have seen Wil Wheaton’s most recent blog, you TRENDSETTER you! LOL!!!

    Like

  254. Your posts have me laughing out loud in my empty house, and every time it happens I get a little startled – and then embarrassed – at the sound.
    Can I borrow your honey badger for Halloween?

    Like

    Rachel recently posted It Takes A Village.

  255. My grandfather worked with Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, so they were totally real. Or my grandpa was a liar, which would make this whole relationship with you really awkward if you’re calling my grandpa a liar, which I don’t think you would do because that’s just not your style. Of course, it was the early 70s and Sid and Marty Krofft were involved, and if you’ve seen any of their stuff, I assume you’ve come to the same conclusions I have about the potential drug use that might have been fueling their creative processes. So, who are we to judge what was “real”?

    Like

    califmom recently posted I Do Not Visit His Grave: Blame The Frog.

  256. I don’t even have anything clever to say, but this post cracked me up and I wanted to use my words to share my feelings. Thank you. I needed that.

    Like

    Mommy's Minions (@MommysMinions) recently posted 10/24 - Sally takes an easy nap (while the twins take a field trip).

  257. While telling my boyfriend all about the super endangered dreadlock donkey and learning that there is a preservation society just a few hours from us he admitted that if I had not told him this vital information he was probably going to kill himself tomorrow. So THANKS the endangered dreadlocked donkey saved his life!

    Like

  258. Thank Deity you had a camera(phone). I was trying to figure out how to describe what it looked like without the actual photo. The only thing I could think of was that it looked like the floor of the play-doh barbershop after a long day.

    And poop.

    Like

    Teresa recently posted I hope you got warranty on your face repairs..

  259. every day I’m snufflin’

    Like

    heather... recently posted At The Carnival.

  260. Ok.. seriously.. you’re in Texas and some donkey in your hood has that kinda hair? I’m thinking you should be calling the Humane Society (if they have a branch in Texas.. i’m just sayin .. i don’t know if you have such a thing down there).. ’cause Texas to me is known for heat (among other things like the Alamo and John Wayne and .. well, let’s not get into that) and that’s just wrong for that poor creature to be wearin that kinda coat in Texas heat..

    Like

  261. Okay, I want one.
    I have 4 siberian huskies and yeah, even if you have a labrapoodle and think you know what shedding is… you don’t.
    BUT, I think if I had one of these and kept it in the house and sprayed it with EndDust, I could have shiny, spotless floors. Also, everyone would get some needed exercise: the ass, the dogs and even me; I just don’t see a downside here. Granted, Siberians “do” kill goats and such but I am pretty sure they could not reach the vital bits through the dreadlock armor!

    Like

  262. Poor donkey I have never seen one look like that before.

    Like

    Joanna recently posted No new post latley.

  263. Sigh…and this is why in some alternate universe I married you…

    Like

  264. That is just awesome! I never heard of this kind of donkey. Now, I want one!

    Like

  265. That’s one hairy ass… mon.

    Like

    Amanda recently posted I think that dude had BOOBS! [Avon Walk for Breast Cancer recap].

  266. Awesome. I want one… Partly to freak out the locals and have them think they’ve discovered a sasquatch or a snuffalufagus like you did, but mostly because anything that has bad hair days more often than I do will make ME look good ;p

    Like

    Redneck Hillbillies recently posted Resume Tips From a Redneck.

  267. I am stuck reading every single post over at Animals Talking In All Caps!

    And, Wil Wheaton rocks!

    Also, that French donkey totally looks like Snuffy!!

    Like

  268. Dude. I have to get myself a hairy ass like that! Oh wait…I married a greek, so I guess I have one. yeah…

    Like

  269. Do you use a portable recorder to accurately transcribe conversations with Victor, or do you just have a really good memory? Hmm…😉

    I’m starting to think everything weird and unusual is fated to come to YOU and not the other way around.

    Like

    Nick recently posted Behind Bookstore Children: "Are You Being Serious??".

  270. How is it that YOU always seem to find the most interesting things? I’m starting to think I’m not adventurous enough. Haha.

    Like

    Courtney recently posted Reason #8: Crazy Older Sisters.

  271. That thing intrigues me. I want one.

    Like

  272. I adore you. That is all.🙂

    Like

  273. I’m not sure how I missed this, but I am dying. It reminds me of the time when I mistook a fox for a kangaroo…oh yes. I am special.

    Like

    Mrs. D-Zo recently posted Hold On To Your Foreheads. The Mind Blowing Is About To Commence..

  274. I have a feeling Big Foot was there the night that donkey was conceived…

    Like

    Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted Everything I Touch Magically Turns To Shit.

  275. 1. Only you could find a Rastafarian donkey in Texas. Duuude.

    2. Glad you posted “the donkey is normal” update. (I was worried about it until I learned the dreadlocks were normal.)

    3. You really need to make another street sign, one that reads “Rastafarian Donkey Crossing” or “Snuffleupagus Crossing”. Not only should that stop the speeding, but it will bring your neighbors to a complete halt.

    Like

    Kernut the Blond recently posted Huge Phallic Rocks, Fertility Gods, Castles and Vortices. Love Sedona..

  276. I want a miniature donkey with that EXACT hairdo. Possibly a fainting goat with that hairdo. Ugh. New life goals are complicated.

    Like

    John B recently posted halloween + the age of innocence..

  277. well, yesterday I saw a lady riding her bike down the road with a lampshade on her head but no one believes me because it all happened so fast and I couldn’t get a picture..

    A freakin lampshade. . .

    Like

    SaraEllenAwesome recently posted Stupid anemia.

  278. I have fallen in love with you the way a fat girl falls in love with pastries. You have inspired my sister and I to start our own blog. I can’t wait to see what you get into next. I actually peed in my pants a little when I read about Beyonce (the giant cock).

    Like

    Alexis recently posted Going, going, back, back to Tally, Tally.

  279. While I am sad that it was not indeed sasquatch, I am even more sad about the state of that poor donkey. I know… I should probably get my priorities straight. I wonder if we would get a fundraiser going to get the Snuffadonk groomed. Looks itchy.

    Like

    Amy from Houston recently posted Hands Down Best Mani/ Pedi in Houston.

  280. Until this very post I’d never seen anything like it, but now I want one!

    Like

    Angie Uncovered recently posted I'll ___ your ___ for FV Cash! (No, I won't).

  281. I refer to snuffalafugasuses a few times a month. Normally I get blank stares. I am glad you remember it as well.

    Like

  282. That is one hairy ass.

    Like

  283. 285
    Uber Lurker

    Fucking sweet – it’s Bob Marley reincarnated as a donkey!

    Like

  284. Only you. Only you.

    Only you could find this.

    I am bitter-jealous.

    Jo
    http://bumbumgerms.blogspot.com/

    Like

    Jo recently posted Monday Musings..

  285. holy shit, that is amazing.

    Like

    missy. recently posted TTUT - oh em gee..

  286. Love the donkey…seriously good find.

    Like

  287. That is hilarious. Snuffleupagus is an entirely reasonable hypothesis faced with the donkey out of context.

    Like

    Ele recently posted Giant Pacific Octopus Screenprint.

  288. Good thing Victor didn’t tell you to get your ass back in the car…

    Like

    Nat recently posted I support you..

  289. Duuuuudeeee… Scotland has a whole country of hairy looking things like this.
    Is it wrong that I’m starting to feel slightly sorry for your husband?

    Like

    Ruby Wildflower recently posted I’m Afraid To Lose Myself.

  290. I love that you just fall into situations like that. I’ve never heard nor seen a donkey like that. And you’re just cruising down the road and BAM you find an endangered donkey. Pure awesomeness!

    Like

  291. This is seriously the funniest thing I have read since Beyonce! Thanks for the laugh!

    Like

    Liz D recently posted Meth Addict Neighbor Update.

  292. It’s a good thing for Victor that this donkey was still alive, otherwise you might have bought it and brought it home.

    Like

  293. It’s like Snuffles mated with a Rastafarian…it’s probably sterile though, so we’re all safe

    Like

    Renee recently posted And also…I’m allergic to trees….

  294. Holy crap, it does look like Sigmund the Sea Monster!

    Your husband gets massive kudos for referencing a child’s show from the 70’s and 80’s that could only have been created while the writers were on massive amounts of hallucinogenics.

    (And yes, I watched that show a lot!)

    Like

    Heather recently posted Introductions are in order..

  295. that poor guy is neglected looking, those dreadlocks need to be cut out, the pulling of the tangles can cause skin tearing over time.

    Like

  296. That donkey looks like he was covered in paper mache. Are you sure it was a real donkey and not an art project?

    Like

    Suniverse recently posted A Rube By Any Other Name.

  297. “You need to brush your donkey…” Hysterical! I loved that line. I am still laughing. Crying and laughing. Thank you for making my day a gajillion times funnier.

    Like

    Tracy recently posted Blogger Help.

  298. This has to be my favorite post everrrrrr! I think I might say that a lot on your blog. Which just means it’s true every time.

    Lifetime needs to make a TV movie about this. Seriously. I was on the edge of my seat.

    Best,
    Li

    Like

    Li recently posted Wordless Wednesday: Le Petit Pepper.

  299. That is a bizarre looking donkey. Although I recently saw an incredibly hairy donkey and thought it was a fluke. Apparently they are very popular.

    Like

    Denise recently posted I Feel Broken.

  300. New as of now: Gifting my in-laws’ farm with a Poitou Ass and a Highland Cow for Christmas.

    Also, I totally own 10 Little Zombies, and it’s amazing. Many of the others are on my Christmas list.

    And I have no children.

    Like

  301. Rare French breed?? WTH?? Even more hilarious. Poor donkey with the dreadlocks.

    Like

    Shoegirl recently posted I Miss My Funny Blogs.

  302. I think the story would have been even more redeeming if it had turned out to be Snuffie. He was my favorite!

    My sister was retarded and loved Big Bird the best. BIG BIRD! I think it’s just because he got his own movie. She’s such a star fucker.

    Like

    Brooke Farmer recently posted A Few Observations.

  303. You people need to brush your donkey! I think I snorted coffee out of my nose.

    Like

    Jen-Eighty MPH Mom recently posted Link em Up Thursday giveaway linky October 27th – November 3rd.

  304. Wow, I’ve never seen anything anywhere close to being this interesting during a road trip! I’ve definitely been traveling down the wrong roads. LOL

    Like

    Super Earthling recently posted Channeling the Beat Generation and the Original Hipsters.

  305. Hahaha! That’s great! You know, you’re lucky to have seen one of those!
    This post made me laugh a lot and I needed that today.❤

    Like

    Beth recently posted And Now To Completely Geek Out.

  306. Will you please make a magnet of your “don’t stop believing” card? I need one!

    Like

  307. I think Dredlock Donkey is slightly more interesting than a Sasquatch. I wish I had seen this before deciding to dog with Zombie Bride and Groom for Halloween

    Like

    Cathy recently posted A Very Shiny Project Runway Finale: Holy Surprise Ending Batman.

  308. I had no idea that Snuffleupagus was a long haird donkey. All this time and I never knew. I feel bad, like I betrayed him my entire childhood. Your blog is highly educational. Can we have a “Save the Long Haired Donkey” fundraiser and shirts?

    Like

    Jill recently posted The Witch is Back!.

  309. I must have one! Why can’t I find it on Craigslist?

    Like

  310. Your daughter looks like the child of that Whitesnake guy and Tawny Kitane (wtf ever her name is) and she is busting up the car her mom slutted around on in the Whitesnake videos. Yeah.

    Like

  311. Okay, I have a sudden desire to crochet a rainbow patterned beret for this dread-locked donkey and stick a reefer in its mouth. That would be so bad ass — or so jack ass. I’m not sure. Anyway, I don’t know why the owners don’t capitalize on this animals looks. Maybe go nuts with a curling iron and submit it in a Shirley Temple look-alike contest. Do you think it can tap dance? Bet those hooves could make a lot of noise on the stage.

    Like

    Janene Murphy recently posted Ronald Reagan, PBJ and other tall tales.

  312. Craziest looking donkey ever.

    Reminded me of the time my husband did not believe I saw a mountain lion until sightings became a regular theme in the local newspaper.

    Like

  313. If I had a bff heart split into 2 pieces (jaggedly, of course) I would totally send you half and I would wear my half every fucking day.

    Like

  314. Thank you, I’ve just been looking for information about this topic for ages and yours is the best I’ve found out so far. But, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you sure concerning the source?|What i don’t realize is in reality how you’re not actually a lot more neatly-preferred than you might be right now. You are so intelligent.

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    buy traffic for my website recently posted 1.

  315. 318
    Catherine George

    O.M.G!!! Anytime i’m having a bad day and need a laugh, I pop over here and read about Snuffles. I had a client prance through my office while I was in mid laugh-til-snot-is-pouring-out-my-nose and tears strolling down my face. He know thinks I have a disease.

    Like

  316. Eeyore looks like he wanted to cap a bitch.

    Like

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