My friend (and former zoo-keeper) Linda wrote a book called Animals Behaving Badly, which covers everything from dogs with guns to why lions are afraid of umbrellas. It even gives examples of kittens committing arson (which will be very helpful in defending all those pending arson charges.)

Also, it rather conclusively proves that dolphins are often brutal murderers and occasional rapists, and that you should not ride on buses with them.

You should probably buy this book for your own safety.

Seriously.