Normal squirrels don’t sit like that. Just saying.

February 28, 2012

in mixing medications,Nathan Fillion: It's complicated,no one thinks this is funny but me,Posts that will get me hate mail,Random crap

My friend April from Regretsy practically threatened to stab me in the face when she thought I’d outbid her on this insane taxidermied squirrel who is flashing his little squirrel nut-sack at the world. (Click the link. You need to see this shit.) I assured April that she was very off-base, as we were BOTH being outbid on it. I considered telling her we should pool our resources and just share the squirrel like recently divorced parents, but then I saw this little treasure:

Well, hello there.

And yes, at first I saw what you’re probably seeing….a strangely posed, non-nutsacked, extremely dead squirrel in a very unnatural position. And then I looked a little closer and realized that my current cell phone cover is cracked and that this would make a fucking fantastic replacement. Not just because it would be fuzzyy and ergonomic if I need to hold it against my shoulder, but also because it would hardly ever get lost in my purse, and no one would accidentally pick up my phone thinking it was theirs. Plus, when I put my phone on the table at restaurants it would just look like a squirrel was hanging out with me, and squirrels only hang out with cool people. And if I put my phone on vibrate the squirrel would buzz across the table like he was alive and growling.

It’s like the best accessory ever.

me, on my squirrel phone

PS. I probably should have waited until the bidding was over before I posted about this. Damn it, Jenny.

PPS. If you only check my blog once a day you may have missed it yesterday when I promised Simon Pegg that I’d leave Nathan Fillion alone and then my good karma was reward by Wil Wheaton and Jeri Ryan and the whole world sending me pictures of their spatulas.

Just your typical Monday, really.

{ 232 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Squisha February 28, 2012 at 9:07 am: When you said, “Click the link. You need to see this shit” I did. Even though I know full well that you’re crackers. Almond milk went out my nostrils.

Almond milk is way less painful than soda. And less likely to cause an infection than cow’s milk.
2 saylaveev February 28, 2012 at 9:11 am: I loved yesterday’s post about the spatula’s so much that I actually considered secretly getting a twitter account just so I could follow insane antics just like yours. But I didn’t. If you actually get this squirrel and do use it for a phone case, please post photos (I assume you would anyways) just so I can see how that works out. lol.
3 Kat Rowley February 28, 2012 at 9:13 am: I laughed so hard, because last night when I was reading Regretsy and I saw the squirrel I thought “Holy shitsnacks! I think The Bloggess needs this little guy! He can be flashing Juanita and she can be throwing her hands up saying “OH LORDY! PUT THAT THING AWAY!” and it’s perfect”

The fact that you were already on that shit makes me ridiculously happy.
Kat Rowley recently posted..Four Weddings, and a Weirdo
4 Redneck Hillbillies February 28, 2012 at 9:13 am: Not even the almighty Bloggess herself could make something like that trendy enough for me to put a dead thing up against my face. Almost… but no.
Redneck Hillbillies recently posted..It Still Sucks
5 DragonLady February 28, 2012 at 9:14 am: I, too, clicked on the link, and shortly after thinking “I’ll never be able to unsee that,” I thought about all of my friends who need to not be able to unsee that also.
DragonLady recently posted..Reading list
6 Shiloh Walker February 28, 2012 at 9:19 am: I can just see it now… “Squirrel-girl… somebody is on the squirrel-phone. Get the squirrel-mobile ready!”

o.o
Shiloh Walker recently posted..Okay.
7 Rachel February 28, 2012 at 9:20 am: So…my morning started off relatively shitty. Thank you for this hilarious post that had me laughing alone in my office so people think I am a crazy person. I’m in a much better mood now!
Rachel recently posted..Picture Coasters (not edible…duh)
8 Jennifer Becker February 28, 2012 at 9:21 am: The comments on the Nut-Sack Squirrel are too precious to miss. Read them folks!
9 Andreas Heinakroon February 28, 2012 at 9:22 am: This could be the first of a whole new line of phone covers. How about a tortoise phone? Or a small armadillo one?
Andreas Heinakroon recently posted..Crowdsourcing a new pair of glasses
10 Kim Pugliano February 28, 2012 at 9:22 am: How do squirrels walk around with all that junk? Holy SHIT that’s a lotta balls.
Kim Pugliano recently posted..Comment on Monday Listicles by Jodi
11 Jennifer February 28, 2012 at 9:23 am: I totally want to be at the restaurant at the table next to you when your squirrel vibrator goes off. Priceless!!
12 Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) February 28, 2012 at 9:23 am: That is hilarious. Clearly you need to come north to Canada. Specifically Torrington, Alberta, where we have a gopher museum. Yes, I’ve been there. Taxidermy Paradise for Rodents. Here are some pictures I found on the web. http://www.jky.net/albums/gopher-museum/html/IMGP2447.html

Enjoy…
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..How To Insult Your Spouse and Get Away with It
13 Wendy February 28, 2012 at 9:23 am: You know Maxwell Smart would’ve been a LOT funnier if he had a squirrel phone instead of just a shoe phone. You need to take this to an entirely different level and make a sitcom out of it!
Wendy recently posted..My road to publishing
14 me_mumstheword February 28, 2012 at 9:24 am: How do they get away with calling that squirrel “new?” I’m pretty sure the squirrel used that body while it was alive.
15 Alison February 28, 2012 at 9:24 am: Ok, that is the perfect accessory for the wolf-pelt-wearing mom. If I had a wolf pelt of my own, I’d totally get the squirrel phone-cover. Now you just need a taxidermied turkey for a handbag and it’s like, watch out Daniel Boone, here comes a serious badass.
16 Jules February 28, 2012 at 9:24 am: I’m with Rachel! I needed that this morning.

The visual of the little guy vibrating across the table did me in.
Jules recently posted..Neighbor Update…
17 Brenna February 28, 2012 at 9:25 am: I had no idea that there were so many taxidermied animals out there used for amusement purposes. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I guess at least they didn’t die in vain.
Brenna recently posted..I probably need some help
18 Bodaciousboomer February 28, 2012 at 9:26 am: Make sure to get someone to get some video of you using that out in public. I’d love to see the faces of the people who see you do it.

Be aware though that a restaurant make give you some shit about actually putting it down on their tabletop. Not everyone is as forward thinking as you, yon know.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted..Our son was placed in a cage with bears all around
19 Sarah February 28, 2012 at 9:26 am: Why did they pose this poor squirrel in such an unnatural fashion? I think there’s a taxidermist who’s been watching too much True Blood.
Sarah recently posted..How to be Parent of the Year
20 Pish Posh February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: Argh the squirrels and the weasels. I hate rodents! You’re killing me!

You know it would be cheaper to learn the art of taxidermy yourself right? Start a squirrel hunting, stuffing, and posing club. Add a chapter to the local 4-h.
Pish Posh recently posted..Oscar Night: Hollywood’s Yesteryear
21 Jenny the bloggess February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: It would be cheaper but I can’t even kill a spider. I just shoo them out of the house with a magazine. I realize this makes me a very strange hypocrite.
Jenny the bloggess recently posted..Normal squirrels don’t sit like that. Just saying.
22 alaina February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: Let’s hope this squirrel is a female. I’d hate to have squirrel nuts by my mouth.
alaina recently posted..Precious Moments.
23 Chelle February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: Some things, you just cannot unsee….

I love the idea of taxidermied animals for phone covers. Think we could convince Apple to make them?
Chelle recently posted..The Bloggess Likes Me On Twitter!
24 Ga February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: But wait… where is your conversation with Victor on why you need and must have this as your phone case/cover? I love reading the convesations between you two.

(He was sick and in bed when I bid on it. I expect we’ll be having a discussion if I actually win it though. ~ Jenny)
25 Jaki (Slim Down U) February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am: I love how your blog makes me laugh. You really are nuts, but in a good way.
Jaki (Slim Down U) recently posted..Are your goals realistic?
26 gorillabuns February 28, 2012 at 9:28 am: I think this squirrel would make a fabulous hat.
gorillabuns recently posted..awards
27 Abby February 28, 2012 at 9:28 am: Far be it for me to play matchmaker, but I’m thinking Juanita might have just found herself a little boy toy?
Abby recently posted..Technically, I Should Be a Celebrity
28 Sherry Carr-Smith February 28, 2012 at 9:29 am: Shockingly, I am not able to see Regretsy at my office. But I can see yours. Take that, Big Brother!
Sherry Carr-Smith recently posted..Widow Wednesday: What Did You Say?
29 Amy Christensen February 28, 2012 at 9:29 am: The squirrel is not in an unnatural position. There is a squirrel living in my backyard who lounges in my tree, sunning himself in that exact pose. His name is Federico, I like his style but the little bastard keeps taking one bite out of my apples…I’m learning to share.
30 Mayor Gia February 28, 2012 at 9:30 am: Awww, I love squirrels and think they are totally underrated, on account of there being a million of them.
Mayor Gia recently posted..D.A.R.D. Update and some Questions
31 Sharon February 28, 2012 at 9:31 am: Is that a squirrel phone in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
32 Andie February 28, 2012 at 9:31 am: What-the-everloving-fuck. I feel somewhat violated by that squirrels… erm,.. nutsack. Why did I click the link?
Andie recently posted..Reverse Objectification Tuesday: Oscar Edition.
33 thinkellen February 28, 2012 at 9:31 am: I’ve been putting off buying a cell phone cover for months; this might be exactly what I need! =P
thinkellen recently posted..The Ultimate, All-Inclusive Relationship Compatibility Test! (Part 2 of 2)
34 leel February 28, 2012 at 9:33 am: this needs to happen. the world needs you to have this. imagine the stories airport security will have to share over coffee? do it for them. and us. ’cause we will NEED pictures of that. and of Ferris Mewler’s reaction.

this post made my morning. thank you!
ps. my cats would LOSE it. you need a growl ringtone AND set it to vibrate and omg, let the games begin. it’s like – MAGIC!
leel recently posted..Secret Bench, Lost Paradise
35 Kathya February 28, 2012 at 9:33 am: OK so I’m surfing the web, procrastinating because I’m sooooo stressed and bored with my job at the moment and I needed something to wake my brain up. Imagine my delight when I clicked on that link! I don’t think I have ever been stunned into silence before, but I must say I just stared; mouth gaping open and without blinking.

I think I’m able to go back to work now…as I have that amazing image burned into my mind. WOOT!
36 Rumble Kitty February 28, 2012 at 9:33 am: I found a dead, mummified squirrel up in my attic last weekend. It’s still there because I was too icked out to pick it up and dispose of it. Want it?
37 Hope Collier February 28, 2012 at 9:33 am: Thank you SO, SO much! I sincerely needed a laugh today. It’s been months since I last saw squirrel nads.
Hope Collier recently posted..Random Acts of Kindness giveaway
38 Squirreling Dervish February 28, 2012 at 9:34 am: aw, see, that shit’s just WRONG.

LOL
Squirreling Dervish recently posted..Happy Wednesday!
39 Diana Lark February 28, 2012 at 9:34 am: Is there even such thing as a “normal” squirrel? The squirrels at my school hit on girls and leap out of trashcans to attack litterbugs. They break into dorm rooms to steal food. They eat cheeseburgers and Doritos. There’s one professor who has been trying for two years to capture a squirrel so he can train it to attack students who turn in assignments late, but the squirrels are too smart for him. And i’m pretty sure i’ve seen these squirrels lounging just like that on my campus. If i can get a picture of one, i’ll send it to you, but these squirrels may not show up on film. We’ll see . . .
Diana Lark recently posted..The Second Nerdiest Thing I’ve Ever Done
40 j February 28, 2012 at 9:34 am: Because I saw this not too long ago http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=tardis+phone+case , it was the first thing I thought of when I saw “phone case” in your tweet. Shame on me for even FLIRTING with the idea of predictability where you are concerned.

He’s a far more creative solution for your cracked case. Light years more creative (If a bit more cumbersome. Careful for those claws, hey.)
41 the muskrat February 28, 2012 at 9:35 am: Now that I’ve seen one, I can’t imagine not having a squirrel phone.
the muskrat recently posted..how to win friends and influence people at mardi gras
42 Donna February 28, 2012 at 9:35 am: Some lovely mice posed here – thought you might enjoy the article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107482/Taxidermy-class-teaches-students-stuff-dead-mice-pose-humans.html
43 Rob R February 28, 2012 at 9:35 am: Had I known you wanted a squirrel phone case, I could have saved the one that drowned in the kiddie pool on my deck last week. What a shame.
Rob R recently posted..Sesame Encrusted Toast with Creamy Butter Drizzle
44 Chuck Baudelaire February 28, 2012 at 9:36 am: What is a “normal” squirrel? They’re disturbed and pathological as a species. If one of them wants to pose like a fluffy-tailed Bettie Paige, then I’m going to go with it.
Chuck Baudelaire recently posted..What I’m Not Saying About the Oscars
45 Angeerah February 28, 2012 at 9:36 am: Oh, woman! The other day I thought: I need to get me some taxidermy! after reading one of your posts.

The crazy is contagious! The crazy is contagious! (Please imagine Juanita with her hand-paws in the air running around the room.)
46 Jen February 28, 2012 at 9:36 am: I was also waiting for the “taxidermied squirrel cell phone cover” conversation with Victor!
Jen recently posted..Monday Mischief: February 27 2012
47 SharonCville February 28, 2012 at 9:37 am: You are, indeed, the very best kind of f&cked up!
SharonCville recently posted..Nostalgia
48 WebSavvyMom February 28, 2012 at 9:38 am: –>I hate squirrels. It’s no secret. Last week I came home to a dead one in my pool. If only my husband hadn’t of throw in the garbage I would have sent the waterlogged, nut-full creature to you for FREE.
WebSavvyMom recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Under the Sea
49 L-Kat February 28, 2012 at 9:39 am: I hope there are taxidermists around the world rushing to create squirrel cell phone covers. Why stop there? Dream big: iPad cases, laptop cases, slip covers for couches. I think taxidermy is going to be a growing career.
L-Kat recently posted..Help a blogga out: Guest post by Jayne from Ach du Lieber, Jayne!
50 Julie the Wife February 28, 2012 at 9:39 am: This squirrel is in a total Porn Pose. But I’m reading this blog for the articles.
Julie the Wife recently posted..I’d Post, But I’m Watching the Oscars
51 Corinne February 28, 2012 at 9:39 am: I was recently in Hyde park and the squirrels there are such fat little buggers most were laying around in that position after over indulging on left over bread (or whatever they’re eating, I can only assume carbs as they make me so chubby). However, I do think this one would make a wonderful phone cover.
Corinne recently posted..Milk Allergy
52 Donna February 28, 2012 at 9:40 am: I just realized they do not die a “natural death”. I’m sorry, I hadn’t read that part….
I would have not forwarded that link on if I had known – sometimes I do things without thinking first. I am really really sorry and hope that hasn’t upset you (as now I feel bad and upset).

(No worries. ~Jenny)
53 Terri in SF February 28, 2012 at 9:40 am: The comments on the ‘nut sack squirrel’ page made my morning. It’s lovely to know there are so many demented, funny – dementedly funny? – people out there. I fear for your taxidermied squirrel cell phone cover, however. It puts me in the mind of that cell phone commercial where a picture of a spider comes up when it rings and everybody at the table lurches up screaming and beating the phone until it is dead…that’s what would happen to squirrel phone…do you really need that?
54 brainwise February 28, 2012 at 9:41 am: Squirrel!

http://www.aspectofthehare.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/dug_up-300×252.jpg
brainwise recently posted..Friday 80s Flashback for February 24, 2012
55 Stephanie February 28, 2012 at 9:42 am: You’re totally getting me through this (boring and painful) post-surgery period. So, thank you. And your little squirrel friend. And all the spatula holders. Muah.
Stephanie recently posted..Sore and Stubborn: A Report from Mom Prison (with Illustrations!)
56 Beccadawn February 28, 2012 at 9:43 am: So, does a squirrel mobile phone cover work as an awesome accessory to Wolf Blitzer, or do you have to keep them separate to prevent some sort of circle of life confrontation? Could be messy…
57 Liz February 28, 2012 at 9:44 am: Amy said it already… I’ve seen squirrels lie like that. Alive ones.
My parents have a long history of bird watching, and bird feeding, and thus they just surrendered in the war for seeds with the squirrels, and keep a bucket on the porch for the creatures.
As a result, they have the largest and most overweight squirrel population on their wooded property that I have EVER SEEN. They’re lazy spoiled bastards too. You can walk out on the porch and they’ll just look at you like, ‘hey, can you fill my seed? The trough is getting a little old.” then they go back to sleep. SRSLY.
And my parents wonder why they’ve started getting coyotes.

In other news, rural living is a WHOLE ‘NOTHER WORLD PEOPLE.
Liz recently posted..I have a short attention- OHH SHINY!
58 Allyn February 28, 2012 at 9:44 am: Combo phone holder/ hair brush. Those claws have gotta be good for something.
Allyn recently posted..Foodie Friday: Orzo Salad
59 Ashley February 28, 2012 at 9:44 am: You’re nuts. In a normal, squirrel phone toting kind of way.
Ashley recently posted..I found love in a hopeless place
60 Nic F February 28, 2012 at 9:44 am: I’m hoping that this was the bastard squirrel that kept knocking down all my pumpkins a few years back.
Nic F recently posted..No Me Gusta! I’m pretty sure my cd-burner is a douche bag
61 Jen @ Jen's Favorite Cookies February 28, 2012 at 9:45 am: That nut-flashing squirrel might be the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen. I always wondered who would bid on that stuff… and now I know!! $79? Really? I’d prefer to have that squirrel far, far away from me. I might consider a taxidermed snake, though, just for the entertainment value.
Jen @ Jen’s Favorite Cookies recently posted..Chocolate Dipped Marshmallows
62 hellpellet February 28, 2012 at 9:47 am: You. You with your twine, spatulas and oddly positioned taxidermy animals are funny as a busted crutch. Funny I tell you. Thanks for making my day.
hellpellet recently posted..Dream 1 & 2
63 Jen February 28, 2012 at 9:47 am: The two headed duck is pretty disturbing http://www.ebay.com/itm/taxidermy-two-headed-freak-duckling-mounted-case-/270924549351?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f145c8ce7
64 HippieHickChick February 28, 2012 at 9:48 am: I totally think you should be bidding on this two-headed freak duckling!! I’m not saying I’m just saying….
http://www.ebay.com/itm/taxidermy-two-headed-freak-duckling-mounted-case-/270924549351?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f145c8ce7#ht_4456wt_1171
65 Ms. Plaid Dressy Pants February 28, 2012 at 9:48 am: Aaaagggghhhh, I totally clicked on the link. At work. I should KNOW better by now, dammit! God, I bet I have a swarm of IT people slowly surrounding my desk as we speak. Damn perverted squirrel.
Ms. Plaid Dressy Pants recently posted..No Good Deed!
66 Emily L February 28, 2012 at 9:50 am: Absolutely loved the pink bow tie! Had to Tweet the pic ASAP!!
67 2zen2 February 28, 2012 at 9:55 am: what’s making me scratch my head is who out bid you, in two separate auctions, for dead, stuffed animals?!? Is Victor funding a secret cabal to stop you from purchasing more friends for Juanita, et al? Could you have a WSF-type stalker on the internet that’s just trying really hard to be you? Enquirer-ing minds want to know…
68 Joni February 28, 2012 at 10:00 am: So I clicked the link (who can resist?) and whoa… you forgot to mention that it was a COWBOY squirrel flashing… that puts a whole different spin on it, Jenny. And now that image is seared onto my retinas…
Joni recently posted..Once more into the abyss…
69 Kelly O'Sullivan February 28, 2012 at 10:02 am: When do you cross over from cool collector to crazy woman with all the dead animals? Either way you’ll still be adored.
Kelly O’Sullivan recently posted..Every Time I Think We’re Winning the Finish Line Seems to Move
70 Stephanie February 28, 2012 at 10:03 am: Okay – so – I’m trying to get the hasttag squirrel rock to trend on twitter and have been for a while… here’s how it goes…

“I wish that I had Jessie’s squirrel! #squirrelrock”

“My squirrel, my squirrel, my squirrel, talking bout my squirrellllll #squirrelrock”

“Fat bottomed squirrels make the rockin world go round!!! #squirrelrock”

You see, you replace any “girl” in a song with “Squirrel” and it totally works!!!

I apologize in advance for the first time you do this out loud in a group of people.
Stephanie recently posted..My Best Friend – Brooke
71 TinyELS February 28, 2012 at 10:04 am: My dog sits like that all the time. We call it his Playgirl centerfold pose.
72 Rebeccah February 28, 2012 at 10:08 am: I freaking LOVE this blog. So happy now…
Rebeccah recently posted..Those Long Dead Relatives Don’t Just Find Themselves You Know
73 Katy Del February 28, 2012 at 10:11 am: And I am again reminded why I shouldn’t be reading this at work. I’m the front desk receptionist at a Mental Health Hospital and I don’t want them to make me a patient for laughing out loud at inopportune times.
74 SaraEllenAwesome February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am: im so in love with that cute thing. I want him. i hope you get him though so I can feel like I can get to know him through you.
SaraEllenAwesome recently posted..And then he asked me to get him a martini
75 Brian February 28, 2012 at 10:16 am: I think that’s a great idea. I currently keep my phone inside a living squirrel and I have a heck of a time getting her to let me check my voicemail.

[P.S. Last night I had a dream that I got your signed book plate in the mail, and it was a sea foam green plastic device with a light-up screen and colorful buttons. Kind of like a Candyland-themed Gameboy. I had trouble finding your signature, though.]
Brian recently posted..The day I learned how to ride a dirt bike.
76 Jane February 28, 2012 at 10:17 am: Just last Friday, I installed a FLYING squirrel house – a double-decker condo that a lovely lady in Kentucky made for me and mailed to me here in ATL – on a big tree in the woods behind my house. I think a flying squirrel (who I already think of as Jambalaya, a super-heroine (with a cape) who flies in to disrupt thugs), may be right up your alley! I’ll let you know, and send a photo, when she shows up!
Jane recently posted..Upper Falls of the Yellowstone River. Yellowstone National Park….
77 Kathleen February 28, 2012 at 10:19 am: 1. I live in Normal (Illinois), and our squirrels do frequently lounge like this!
2. Aauugghh, my eyes, my eyes! Why did I click the link to the nut sack?!
Kathleen recently posted..Up in Smoke
78 L-Diggitty February 28, 2012 at 10:20 am: They sit like that when they’re sunbathing! Duh.
L-Diggitty recently posted..10 years of blogging!
79 New Mommy Confessions February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am: I really hope you get this squirrel. Really, all dead animals should immediately be sent to you. You know, just in case. Just think about it! You could have like, a whole house full of dead animals wearing interesting outfits. Which would lead to even MORE interesting things to sell in your shop, which would lead to even MORE money for random dead animals. It’s a total win. Victor would love it I’m sure!

At least it isn’t towels, right?
New Mommy Confessions recently posted..Why is OPSEC So Important, You Ask?
80 Jax February 28, 2012 at 10:25 am: Is that… the squirrel that you caught spreadeagled in your yard on that very hot day?
Jax recently posted..This one’s for you Amy
81 Amanda February 28, 2012 at 10:34 am: It looks a litte large for a phone, but I`m sure you’ll make it work.

I look forward to the entry about the conversation with Victor happens.
Amanda recently posted..and next thing you know I’m Nicolas Cage
82 MissusMoose February 28, 2012 at 10:37 am: I am so forwarding this on! Everyone needs to spit coffee thru their nose today!
83 Tammy February 28, 2012 at 10:42 am: I should NOT have clicked on the nut flashing squirrel while in class…. laughing is difficult to explain.
Tammy recently posted..Mostly non-school blog about my life.
84 Claire J February 28, 2012 at 10:46 am: I simply CAN’T be the only one who first looked at the squirrel flashing its nuts link…then the seductively posed squirrel…
Then read the phrase [Wil Wheaton and Jeri Ryan and the whole world sending my pictures of their spatulas] …and thought to themselves:
So THAT’S what they’re calling them these days…
Claire J recently posted..Forgiveness (according to Don Henley)
85 amy February 28, 2012 at 10:47 am: Absurdly intrigued, I just googled “squirrel scrotum” because I could see no reason for that squirrel’s nutsack to be black. Why would male squirrels want to draw attention to their sacks when, evolutionarily speaking, that sort of behavior is libel to make the “noticeable bits” subject to attack/ removal by predators, challenging you for the love of the lay-dees.

My research gave me no conclusive information on whether there are naturally-occuring squirrel nutsacks, except for one photo that showed a very orange-hued squirrel with one. The vast majority had themselves some tanly/ whitishly furred nutsacks. I think the flasher squirrel may be “creatively taxidermied” – which is naturally a fine genre of taxidermy.

But thank you for bringing me to the hitherto unthought of – typing “squirrel scrotum” into google. My day has reached its apex and it’s not even noon.
86 Sarah B. February 28, 2012 at 10:53 am: AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s all.
Sarah B. recently posted..Unwinding
87 Nightshade February 28, 2012 at 11:01 am: this kills me!!! thank you for the laughs!! (^.=.^)
88 Marisa February 28, 2012 at 11:02 am: a mouse , mouse…pure awesomeness

http://blogs.laweekly.com/arts/2010/02/five_steampunk_mice_and_one_hi.php?page=3
89 WilyGuy February 28, 2012 at 11:16 am: You don’t want the already dressed squirrel! You enjoy the dress up almost as much as being the weird petrified animal lady. I agree that it would make a swell cell phone holder, but I’m sure with some careful wiring it could also become a flashlight, or a normal phone. You could put a backpack on him that held most of the necessary guts and batteries…

I’m still not sure this is your squirrel, since you seem to prefer your animals standing, rather than the obvious Burt Reynolds pose from Cosmo…

WG
WilyGuy recently posted..Being Competitive Fits Us to a T…
90 Kat February 28, 2012 at 11:17 am: He’s quite posh. Probably lived in a chateau in his heyday.
Kat recently posted..It’s about mean girls and cursing like a sailor. I’m going there.
91 Nica K February 28, 2012 at 11:20 am: Please put pants on the flashing squirrel. Please.
92 gravelhighway February 28, 2012 at 11:29 am: Your house must be FULL of the craziest shit.

You should totally start charging admission.
gravelhighway recently posted..If I die before I wake, then God, you made a BIG mistake
93 saddleupskip February 28, 2012 at 11:30 am: OMG. Seriously, do their nuts really look like that?
94 Mrs. One Day February 28, 2012 at 11:33 am: I think it’s brilliant. Think how soft it would be against your face when you spoke on the phone!
Mrs. One Day recently posted..Hawaiian Dream Wedding
95 Sweety Darlin February 28, 2012 at 11:34 am: The only thing that comes to me in this moment of squirrel joy is the line from Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate factory…….

“DAAADDY, I want a SQUIIRRREELL! and not just any squirrel, a trained squirrel!”

“How much for the squirrel”

“the Squirrel isn’t for sale”

“Veruca, the man is being unreasonable”
Sweety Darlin recently posted..OMG Like EWWWW !!!! (says valley girl)
96 plaidfox February 28, 2012 at 11:48 am: What would be interesting is to set up a squirrel chattering ring tone, then place it in your house near cats and watch them FREAK THE F*** OUT when it goes off.

Cat1: So I says to Charlie, listen brah, I ain’t spraying in your area for nothin. My uncontrolable urge..
Squirrel-Phone: BZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ CHITTERCHITTERCHITTERCHITTERCHITTERCHITTER
Cat2: HOLY CRAP, WHO LET THAT SQUIRREL IN HERE?
Cat1: DAMMIT, I JUST SPRAYED MYSELF!

The end.
97 Carole February 28, 2012 at 11:50 am: I *knew* the Badgermin would lead to something like this.

And I imagine Victor will say the very same thing.
98 Christine February 28, 2012 at 11:51 am: The funny and disturbing thing is. I have a pet squirrel and he lets me actually do that. LOL
99 Jill February 28, 2012 at 11:52 am: The second I saw that Regretsy post I thought of you, and was going to send it to you but then I figured all the cool girl bloggers were already friends anyways.
100 Sedge | noob-dad February 28, 2012 at 11:52 am: Please do it. The world needs to see a squirrel-encased phone.

I’d love you long time.
Sedge | noob-dad recently posted..Breastfeeding: Not In This House
101 Jenn February 28, 2012 at 12:05 pm: Yay Squirrel Phone!
Jenn recently posted..Top 10 Google Search Terms (Alternative Title: I weep for the state of our education)
102 Brett Minor February 28, 2012 at 12:07 pm: I think I may make an iguana phone. I just need a big enough iguana.
Brett Minor recently posted..Evidence that I am Harmless
103 Kaitlyn February 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm: OMG. I’m actually quite jealous of your genius idea. And here I thought I was ahead of the game when I started keeping my phone in a sock like a whole year before anyone else.
Kaitlyn recently posted..Making things happen
104 Christine February 28, 2012 at 12:16 pm: That, my friend, is the completely natural pose of a squirrel who has eaten one too many fermented berries. I’ve seen a drunk squirrel before and let me tell you, it’s not pretty. They are very sloppy drunks (but you would know this by looking at that taxidermied squirrel, wouldn’t you?).

Oh, and best phone cover. Ever.
Christine recently posted..I am 22 Years Old, and I’m Currently Being Grounded
105 red February 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm: Is it me, or is that squirrel striking a seductive pose?

Ooh! Squirrel phone “chat” line! …you know the kind I mean…
red recently posted..Of Axe-Murderers and Other Creepy Folks
106 Gary February 28, 2012 at 12:23 pm: It’s disturbing his scrotum appears to be gangrenous. At least it looks dry. Dry gangrene is better than wet gangrene.
Gary recently posted..Seeking redemption after last night’s transgression
107 Laura February 28, 2012 at 12:29 pm: Hey, I’ve actually seen squirrels pose like that. In a New Mexico state park – I think it was a state park. There was one at the ranger station who lazed about on the porch railing watching the humming birds. The he rolled over and …fell off. Laughed my ass off. We came across another on our hike after our 4-year old kid wandered away to the watering trough of a ghost town and started to scream. Husband figured rattlesnake got her; I fugured mountain lion (who must’ve been deafened by the piercing cound she could make). Imagine our surprise when she told us a wasp the size of a tennis ball (words I didn’t even know she knew) approached her. Sure. Anyway, a little father up the trail into town – did I mention this was an abandonned sanitarium town – and we came to a little house and recllining along the wall was a freaking squirrel. And he was not at all afraid of us. Rabid? I wondered. Maybe. Or perhaps he was just relaxing in his private spa. I hope that your squirrel is not that squirrel.
Laura recently posted..Hello world!
108 Shelley February 28, 2012 at 12:32 pm: Squirrels do sit like that when they’ve just heard Rick Santorum say that birth control deserves to be outlawed.
Shelley recently posted..Welcome
109 Suzanne Roupas February 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm: Jenny, the squirrel phone cover lead me to Ebay to look for a similar fashion accessory. I’d like an eyeglass case. However, what I really want to tell you is that 1) There is a pretty cool porcupine on Ebay and 2) There are ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE PAGES of taxidermy on Ebay.

Makes a zombie apocalypse seem tame by comparison.
110 Brandina February 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm: MOST hilarious thing almost EVER! I can totally see why there was the whole threat of stabbing for stealing this one away. Who wouldn’t love to be sitting there eating dinner, then looking up on the buffet to see this happy little guy showing his stuff for the entire family! And how totally festive would he make Thanksgiving and Christmas!

But just for the record, I have a friend who has a company that removes wild animals from homes and what-not. Showed him the pic because it’s right up his alley and he said ” Funny part too is that squirrels have ginormous nutes and those are SO not to scale”.
111 Eleanor February 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm: Ah! I totally need a squirrel phone cover!

I have had a series of really bad dates lately. Really bad dates. Really really bad dates that just wouldn’t leave (or stop following me so I could get home without him knowing where that is). Just think how much easier it would be to toss old Nutkin on the table and get a friend to call me. He’d be moving and growling, and I’d be all “Mr. Nutkin doesn’t like you. I think you should leave.”

If nothing else he’d think I was crazy and thus ensure he’d never call me again.
Eleanor recently posted..The Bloggess makes me furiously happy
112 Katherine @ Eggton February 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm: Also, couldn’t you attach little combs to his front paws so that he basically clips onto your hair and you can talk hands-free? It’d be like a blue tooth squirrel. Plus, his tail can double as a scarf. I’m surprised Kanye hasn’t designed this yet, actually.
Katherine @ Eggton recently posted..Even Journey Sings Journey In The Shower
113 Missy February 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm: OMG! You can take your own taxidermy class and learn how to make your “projects” pose as humans! Something AWESOME will come of this. Make it so, Jenny. Make it so.
114 JEN February 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Squirrel-Mount-biker-Taxidermy-Motorcycle/330692648842?ssPageName=WDVW&rd=1&ih=014&category=10895&cmd=ViewItem

I found a one on a motorcycle with an acorn helmet…. i must own this!
115 Missy February 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm: OMG! You can take your own taxidermy class and learn how to make your “projects” pose as humans! Something AWESOME will come of this. Make it so, Jenny. Make. It. So.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107482/Taxidermy-class-teaches-students-stuff-dead-mice-pose-humans.html
Missy recently posted..Angelina Jolie legbombing right leg goes viral after Oscars 2012 pose
116 Balanced Idjit February 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm: I might gag. Those nutsicles look like turdlets. Do squirrel nuts always look like that? Is it only because those nuts are deceased? I obviously have some animal teste research to do.
Balanced Idjit recently posted..The Help
117 If I were god... February 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm: AGAIN with the dead animals? You must have zombie cooties or something by now.

Your dead-thing fetish aside, I’d say your squirrel friend looks like Guy Fawkes (V for Vendetta was just on TNT the other day. Natalie Portman in her little girl outfit is not to be missed)
If I were god… recently posted..Brown Fat and Robots riding Camels
118 Jen February 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm: I love you.
119 Sheelah February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm: You MUST see this dog if you like that squirrel.

http://mcmissis.blogspot.com/2011/04/photo-challenge-days-6-7-and-8.html
120 Mary February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm: Why can’t we get this cool kind of stuff at Target? Why don’t more people sell dead animals?
Mary recently posted..Oak Grove Petite Sirah 2010
121 Marinka February 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm: Goodness knows how many squirrels will now be murdered for phone cases, Jenny. I hope you’re happy
Marinka recently posted..Gossip
122 sarah jane February 28, 2012 at 2:31 pm: Hmmm…I can totally see it. Kind of surprised that fur phone covers don’t exist yet. Or do they? Am I missing out?
sarah jane recently posted..Spotlight on Alsolete
123 bschooled February 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm: You sold me on the phone case idea when you said “non-nutsacked”. Who needs a Swarovski-crystal case when you can have one that’s made of real fur? Not to mention it would make a great ear muff. (Probably more practical if you only have one ear.)
bschooled recently posted..Teenage (Eye)Role Model
124 Britt February 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm: I think I found the next addition to your family.

A musical mouse.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/mouse-art-guitar-584.jpg
Britt recently posted..You Make Me Urinate with Joy
125 Melissa February 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm: What’s this squirrel’s name?……Nutty McNutsack?
This product should be called a Chatterbox Cover.
Melissa recently posted..And How Does That Make You Feel?: A Freudian analysis of my blog
126 Alice February 28, 2012 at 3:15 pm: I’m not seeing the phone. I’m still seeing the Playboy Squirrel. It makes me feel uncomfortable that a squirrel…a dead squirrel no less…has a seductive look.
Alice recently posted..I’m with The Band.
127 carolyn February 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm: I am so jealous of your ability to see the obvious that is right in front of everyone and no one else sees it. I mean, of COURSE it is a squirrel phone! WHY didn’t I see that? My only concern would be that it might not fit in a purse. But you could always carry it around in a little cage or something. That would be fun to take into restaurants. “Oh THIS? No it’s just a phone. A SQUIRREL phone. No, I’m not kidding.”

I would like to have a rattlesnake or cobra phone now. I could tie the tail around my arm, and then I’d never lose my phone again. Thanks for the idea!!
carolyn recently posted..If My Kid Ever Figures This Arrangement Out, I’m SCREWED.
128 carolyn February 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm: I am so jealous of your ability to see the obvious that is right in front of everyone and no one else sees it. I mean, of COURSE it is a squirrel phone! WHY didn’t I see that? My only concern would be that it might not fit in a purse. But you could always carry it around in a little cage or something. That would be fun to take into restaurants. “Oh THIS? No it’s just a phone. A SQUIRREL phone. No, I’m not kidding.”

I would like to have a rattlesnake or cobra phone now. I could tie the tail around my arm, and then I’d never lose my phone again. Thanks for the idea!!
carolyn recently posted..If My Kid Ever Figures This Arrangement Out, I’m SCREWED.
129 flarglepuf February 28, 2012 at 3:37 pm: May I be the first to suggest that in the hope that you win the bid, you name him, Earl the Squirrel?
130 Laura February 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm: Long time lurker here, love your stuff, but I’m coming out to post this because when I saw it I immediately thought of you, lol. Plus it happens to coincide with todays post!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Squirrel-Mount-cowboy-flashing-his-nuts-Taxidermy-/330693453595?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4cfedda71b#ht_500wt_1413

A partner for Juanita perhaps?
131 Laura February 28, 2012 at 4:00 pm: Whoops, apparently I have a reading comprehension problem, someone beat me to it!
132 Holly Folly February 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm: Oh my. You NEED that squirrel. Too bad about the bidding. Don’t worry though I’m sure another dead animal will come along for you. You could have used one of those squeaky voiced Alvin and the Chipmunks songs as your ringtone. That would have been hilarious when poeple looked over and the song was coming out of a dead animal.

Damn. Now I want a dead squirrel phone case.
Holly Folly recently posted..Allegheny Power Hates Us.
133 MotherWifeMe February 28, 2012 at 4:08 pm: Please can I add my name to the waiting list for a limited edition squirrel phone – though I should add I would want it if the squirrel was roadkill, I don’t believe in killing innocent squirrels just for my desire to have a kudos-enhancing accessory. Thanks ever so.
MotherWifeMe recently posted..a mother’s work – BBC Panorama ‘The Cost of Raising Britain’
134 Chelsea February 28, 2012 at 4:24 pm: There is a class in the UK that teaches people how to taxiderm (is that the right use of the verb?) and pose dead white mice. I saw it at http://www.dailymail.co.uk – made me think of this blog (which I love of course). Perhaps that would be a good anniversary present hint you could drop to the Mister?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107482/Taxidermy-class-teaches-students-stuff-dead-mice-pose-humans.html
135 Feffer February 28, 2012 at 4:30 pm: “… squirrels only hang out with cool people.”

I have spent years dealing with the home-invasion specialists of the local squirrel community. Countless unauthorized entries/attempted entries through the bedroom window (although I did appreciate the thoughtfulness of the one who disassembled the screen rather than rip through it), and two (yes, TWO) that fell through my kitchen ceiling (true story). And to think, I’ve spent all this this time getting freaked out and pissed off about it when it’s just undeniable proof of how unbelievably cool I am! I guess I need to reconsider my position on squirrel-based accessories.
136 karla February 28, 2012 at 5:05 pm: O M G
Can’t believe that picture! Squirrel pornography, lol.
My world has certainly changed since I started following you, Jenny. Never before would I have ever considered taxidermy obsessions well, uh, cute?
- Karla
137 Judy February 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm: Is it just me or does it look like this squirrel was just about to start his porn star career when he passed away? He is really giving out a “come hither” vibe!
Judy recently posted..Nathan Fillion Thanks You For Your Interest
138 Lisa February 28, 2012 at 5:15 pm: ….. and that is how Jenny inspired a whole new aftermarket for taxidermied animal cell phone covers
139 Nathalie February 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm: If it’s not the squirrel, maybe a badger…
http://boingboing.net/2012/02/27/the-badgerman-theremin-vs-ba.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+boingboing%2FiBag+%28Boing+Boing%29
140 Colleen February 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm: I’m happy to see that my secret obsession with taxidermy animals is shared with others. I’m not nearly as crazy as I had thought.

And upon searching found this that would go quite well with Martin Van Buren:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Taxidermy-Wild-Grey-Squirrel-Tophat-/280834440494?pt=UK_Collectables_AnimalCollectables_SM&hash=item4163097d2e#ht_500wt_950
141 dracjr February 28, 2012 at 5:30 pm: Is… is that squirrel imitating David Bowie’s pose on the cover/sleeve of Diamond Dogs? Oh, wait, you said NON-nutsacked. But still! 20 cool points to that squirrel.
142 ShortShoes February 28, 2012 at 5:43 pm: I saw April’s comment on Facebook earlier, but didn’t bother looking to see what it was. I was happy to see the two of you friends and that she threatened you because it was a taxidermy item.
143 John February 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm: OMG. AMAZING!
John recently posted..all white, i say!
144 Jenny@vegetarianhatesvegetables February 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm: When god closes a door, he opens a window. Full of spatulas.
Jenny@vegetarianhatesvegetables recently posted..Conversations with strangers
145 Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? February 28, 2012 at 6:35 pm: Wonders never cease.

Just arthritic joints. Those cease. No wait, that’s seize.

Seize the day?

Fuck, now I’m confused…

==================================
Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted..Me on a flying trapeze. No, seriously!
146 Lori February 28, 2012 at 7:20 pm: damnit Jenny..I was FINE till you made me cough so hard i peed a little, thanks for the laughs

now I want a squirrel phone holder thingie, but I need a phone first
Lori recently posted..so….Today I didn’t.
147 Sarah February 28, 2012 at 7:22 pm: I have nothing add, except that the squirrel really has nothing on The Badgermin: http://www.nervoussquirrel.com/badgermin.html
148 Lindsay Barker February 28, 2012 at 7:28 pm: #1 — I AM a squirrel (Seriously. Mary Baldwin College. We’re the Squirrels. Our mascot’s name is Gladys. Because she’s awesome. My freshman dorm’s slogan was, “We’re Squirrels; we crack nuts.”) and we squirrels have totaly been known to pose exactly like that. Especially when there’s a cute boy (or girl — I won’t discriminate) in the vicinity and we think that sort of pose will make our butts look good without looking like we’re TRYING to make our butts look good.

#2 — You are completely correct. We squirrels ONLY hang out with the most awesome people.
149 Ericka February 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm: you can do better. have you seen the badgerman? oddly, i IMMEDIATELY thought of you when i saw it.

http://boingboing.net/2012/02/27/the-badgerman-theremin-vs-ba.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+boingboing%2FiBag+%28Boing+Boing%29
Ericka recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – California Patchwork
150 houndstooth February 28, 2012 at 7:49 pm: I’m laughing SO hard! Are you going to put an antenna enhancer in the tail? An extra battery pack in the nutsack? There are so many possibilities!
houndstooth recently posted..Lessons Learned At The Dog Show
151 hales February 28, 2012 at 8:14 pm: OMG that was so hilarious. My eyes are traumatized but it’s so damn great. Who knew squirrel could have black balls? Man the phone idea has me laughing so hard I’m close to keeling over. Too funny!
152 Maureen February 28, 2012 at 8:17 pm: Will one of the ringtones be a purr?

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2012/02/squirrels-can-purr/
Maureen recently posted..OK, I Know It Kind Of Looks Like I Knitted A Condom
153 Teresa Hill February 28, 2012 at 8:30 pm: Dear Bloggess,
Saw this and thought of you: http://greenville.craigslist.org/pet/2876285979.html
A lovely, long-horned goat skull. I bet no one else would have one like it.
Teresa Hill recently posted..Rewriting: It wasn’t Sexy enough or happy enough.
154 Lynn February 28, 2012 at 8:40 pm: First of all, this squirrel is doing the best come hither look ever & totally looks like it’s laying across a piano. Can’t you just picture her in a red dress, with her left front paw just barely tapping a key? It’s like total Jessica Rabbit moment.
Lynn recently posted..UPDATE: The New Improved Spambots
155 Morgan Eckstein February 28, 2012 at 9:40 pm: My wife thinks that I should have a cell phone–I would be totally willing to get one if I could have a squirrel phone cover.
Morgan Eckstein recently posted..Book Review King Over the Water
156 Allie February 28, 2012 at 9:47 pm: I showed my husband just now the squirrel nutsack. He just stared at me. NOW. If he found t and showed me, he would be laughing. I think he thinks I am officially a nasty old lady now. LOL.
Allie recently posted..Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
157 Carrie February 28, 2012 at 9:51 pm: I was watching that little stabbishy stuff going on last night on Twitter.

I did get a little scared and back away from my monitor.

However, I do see you will stand and fight for what you believe in. And you apparently believe in non-nutsacked squirrels.

Which is totally ok by me. (Plus, I’m scared as shit to disagree with you after last night. You are one bad mamma jamma.)
Carrie recently posted..A Butt-cut and a Watusi. And I don’t even know what a watusi is.
158 Jenny H February 28, 2012 at 9:55 pm: I love that we share first names.
159 Laurie February 28, 2012 at 10:43 pm: Haha…just pinned this on my “Crafts I’ll Probably Never Do” board
Thanks for the giggle!
160 kmkat February 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm: I am not so thrilled with the nutsack squirrel pretending to be Zorro or maybe Phantom of the Opera, but WHAT IS WITH THE HAIRY GUY IN THE SIDEBAR? He looks like he has a bathroom rug, dyed black, on his chest. Ewwww.
kmkat recently posted..In Wisconsin, it is now 1952.
161 hogsatemysister February 28, 2012 at 11:23 pm: No Jenny! Squirrel phones are so 2011!

What you need is a sleek NZ Rat Phone!

And, unless the ants got it, I have JUST THE ONE.

Click the link below.

Meanwhile, I’ll try to find its head.

Err, the earpiece.

You’re welcome.
hogsatemysister recently posted..Rats!
162 Miranda February 28, 2012 at 11:27 pm: I freaking love that idea!! It’s the perfect size even! I just found myself thinking of all of the “squirrel sized” animals I may have running around outside my house that could either fit my cell phone and/or make a great beer coozie. . .
Miranda recently posted..Broken Eyeballs
163 oregonchick February 29, 2012 at 12:48 am: Oh my goodness, I love the animals you find!

If you ever tire of the squirrel cell phone cover (for instance, when you realize it’s inconvenient for his tail to always be poking out of your favorite clutch), I do think she would be ideally suited to be placed atop a miniature grand piano. Maybe with a miniature candelabra? He seems like she could have been a Lounge Singer Squirrel before being caught and, well, stuffed.
164 Maidel February 29, 2012 at 2:42 am: I just found this site and immediately thought of you, so I clicked over here to leave a comment, and lo, the post is so apropos. <3

http://www.ravishingbeasts.com/
165 Anonymous February 29, 2012 at 2:44 am: It looks like it should be looking at Juanita saying “What do you mean my souffle is ruined?”
166 MOV February 29, 2012 at 4:30 am: What am I doing over here? I have a new squirrel cell phone cover to show off (*dials for restaurant reservations*).

And yes, thanks for the heads up before bidding closed. And I know what you are thinking, “$3000 is too much to spend on a squirrel cell phone cover.” Here you would be wrong. You can’t put a price on cool.

best,
MOV
MOV recently posted..687. Leap Blog Day Guest Blogger: We Band of Mothers!
167 moooooog35 February 29, 2012 at 7:23 am: I wonder if you can get the squirrel phone cover with an over-the-ear titmouse speakerphone accessory.
moooooog35 recently posted..Your Call is Very Important to Us… Unless You Have an Accent
168 Allison February 29, 2012 at 8:34 am: It’s a good thing that squirrel isn’t flashing his nuts. Can you imagine how awkward it would be every time you had to hit zero? Or charge the phone?
Allison recently posted..Fight off the Blues
169 Kristin February 29, 2012 at 8:56 am: Must click link, must click link…oh that’s my boyfriend Romero Robin. He is full of awesome too! He would live nicely in some type of, oh I don’t know, an art niche perhaps?!

Best. Phone. Cover. EVER! But if you did could you get a pic of you using it while wearing Wolfblitzer? That would be the best!
170 Vanessa February 29, 2012 at 9:09 am: I don’t think that the squirrel phone is such a good idea.. But it really look so funny indeed!
Vanessa recently posted..Best Time To Conceive
171 debbie506 February 29, 2012 at 9:31 am: http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Squirrel-Coffee-Cup

You need one of these now.
172 Jim (aka The Wordslinger) February 29, 2012 at 9:57 am: So I’m not entirely sure how it is that I’m just now finding this blog for the first time, but the only explanation I can come up with is David Hasselhoff. I generally blame him for every stupid thing I do, as well as times where I feel stupid because of something I did or didn’t do (i.e. just now discovering your blog).

That being said, I love what I’ve just discovered. I’ll have to follow more of your work, even though it feels like it would be against my better judgment to do so. I write a stupid little blog myself that I am desperately trying to make popular. I hope you’ll take a moment to check it out when you get a chance.

http://sportsjim81.wordpress.com (FYI, it’s not really about sports…yeah I wasn’t really thinking ahead when I came up with it. Damn you David Hasselhoff!)
Jim (aka The Wordslinger) recently posted..To Outline Or Not To Outline, That Is The Question
173 Caroline February 29, 2012 at 10:26 am: http://www.etsy.com/shop/mammothcurios?page=1
Whoa, this store is right up your alley! I love the alligator light! LOVE!
174 jj de sousa February 29, 2012 at 10:53 am: So Jenny….have you then seen these? http://www.perpetualkid.com/squirrel-underpants.aspx

They would be PERFECT for the squirrel you did not get….truly hilarious!
175 Steve February 29, 2012 at 10:56 am: the ringtone needs to be Barry White saying “Hey Baby”
Steve recently posted..Pot Roast
176 Star Austin February 29, 2012 at 11:22 am: And I shall call him Burt Reynolds, for obvious reasons if you’ve ever seen Burt Reynolds 70′s Cosmo centerfold.
177 Anna Nonamus February 29, 2012 at 11:55 am: See, to me- he’s stretched all out sexy like, with a “Hey Baby” look on his face.
Anna Nonamus recently posted..Then there was that one time… (Updated)
178 Holly February 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm: Missing from your wardrobe? These are so YOU! Victor, I’m sure, will be appalled that this is even available to consider…..
????http://www.smilorama.com/place-where-taxidermy-met-shoes/
179 Rachel February 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm: To think, I could of gone my whole life without seeing a squirrel’s nutsack. Jenny, you provide a service! Don’t ever let anyone tell you anything different.
180 Vicki W February 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm: Have you seen these dove shoes? You may need them.
http://www.incrediblethings.com/style-and-gear/wtf-real-life-horse-shoes/
Vicki W recently posted..One Hour
181 Michelle February 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm: How about a badger playing a theremin?? They totally stole your idea!

http://thereifixedit.failblog.org/2012/02/29/white-trash-repairs-diy-taxidermied-badger-theremin
182 Jen in Portlandia February 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm: That almost makes my taxidermied nutria doorstop seem normal. . .almost.
Jen in Portlandia recently posted..OMG, Free Beef!
183 bednar February 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm: OMG I just tweeted this but fucking A you have to buy this shit right here http://www.fredflare.com/APARTMENT-toys-and-novelties/Magic-Unicorn-Mask/# – $40 and free shipping WHAT? WHAT?
184 wagthedad February 29, 2012 at 2:39 pm: My Squirrel Story
by Wag the Dad

I was reading on the quad when I was at school once. I was sitting under a tree. All of a sudden like, I hear a scrambling in the branches above. I look up, just in time to see a squirrel’s ass hovering just a bit off the end of a limb, aiming for my leg. Being astounded, I did not move. Said ass projected a mass of birdlike poop off into the air, which proceeded to land on my leg. Chagrined, I moved around to the other side of the tree.

Much scrambling.

I look up, see the same ass, same position. WTF.

I move away just in time to avoid being shat upon once again.

Hence the Haiku:

Squirrel shitting
Rambunctious month of May
Did I remember to use a condom last night?

Sincerely
Wag the Dad
185 Christine Merrill February 29, 2012 at 2:55 pm: Sorry, but if there is a bidding war, I may need in.
Dead squirrels and I go way back. And we have the best ones here in Wisconsin.

http://christine-merrill.com/2009/09/5301/

It is my anniversary on Saturday. Just sayin’.
186 Holly Waterfall February 29, 2012 at 3:03 pm: Never thought I’d be google-ing “Anthropomorphic Taxidermy”, but I did. For you Jenny. And this is what I found-
http://www.ravishingbeasts.com/
187 purplepenguin February 29, 2012 at 3:44 pm: You might have seen this, but there is a company that sells animal cellphone covers! Check out http://www.funfriends.com/ I have a koala cover and a penguin cover (love penguins!). Have fun checking it out.
188 Redneck Hillbillies February 29, 2012 at 3:53 pm: Curiousity got me and I had to come back here to click the link to see the nutty squirrel.
Too bad you didn’t win him – did you get the almost-as-good version? Hmmm I bet taxidermied anythings just jumped in value now that the word is out the Bloggess wants ‘em.
Redneck Hillbillies recently posted..Every Day I’m Sasquatchin
189 Jenbug February 29, 2012 at 4:16 pm: Normal squirrels aren’t beer koozies, either, apparently. http://drinkingmadeeasy.com/booze-in-the-news/unique-brews-brewdog/
Jenbug recently posted..I AM the common denominator.
190 Katie February 29, 2012 at 5:14 pm: So Jenny, I was so sad to find out you didn’t get the nut-sack squirrel or the sexy-lounging squirrel, but my day was made when I saw this awesome fishing squirrel on Pinterest (which I tagged you in). So I clicked on the link, and low and behold, there are squirrels playing the banjo, squirrels in a douch-canoe (although technically he may be a chipmunk, and I don’t think it’s technically a douche-canoe), squirrels on a motorcycle, and much much more. Please go and adopt all of these adorable squirrels and then you can have a squirrel army, or a squirrel clan, or maybe somehow even a squirrel nativity scene. Anyways, love you and good luck on the taxidermy squirrel hunt.

http://www.regretsy.com/
Katie recently posted..Oscar Sunday
191 Johnners February 29, 2012 at 5:42 pm: Here in Britain we have a great TV programme called The Great British Bake-Off. It’s on the BBC. Last series they stunned everyone by showing (during a lull in the baking, obviously) a squirrel standing upright showing what can only be described as the largest set of squirrel balls in the world – check it out on you tube, it’s worth it. Also, we still have some red squirrels left, hiding away, and they are much, much cuter than the greys. Your squirrel looks pretty chilled out though (despite being, you know, no longer with us…) x
192 Jenny February 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm: Thank you for showing me what the balls of a squirrel look like. Not that I couldn’t pretend to assume, but eh that’s 1 thing I can scratch off my bucket list.
Jenny recently posted..Terme Tresses Conditioner
193 Barbi February 29, 2012 at 6:38 pm: Check out #10, apparently live squirrels DO lounge that way, who knew!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/animals/happiest-animals-in-the-world
194 "Susan Says..." February 29, 2012 at 6:59 pm: And I thought Salvador Dali’s lobster phone was exciting…..
“Susan Says…” recently posted..Leap Day: Facts and Celebration Suggestions
195 Renee February 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm: That phone cover might get you kicked out of restaurants.
Wait.
You’re in Texas. Never mind…
Renee recently posted..I’m full of excuses and none of them are good
196 Rachel February 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm: I just saw a hollowed out armadillo purse, very elegant, posted on eBay. I wanted to buy it for you, but I’m broke. And the auction ended before I finished reading other replies. I dropped the ball on that one. My bad.
197 Alexandria February 29, 2012 at 8:43 pm: my thoughts…what the fuck is that?
Alexandria recently posted..How Do You Apologize?
198 Trinity February 29, 2012 at 10:20 pm: I can’t believe the bidding is up to $280. Jeez.
199 Natalie S February 29, 2012 at 11:01 pm: Just in case no one else mentioned it, there IS another flasher squirrel up for grabs: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Squirrel-Mount-cowboy-flashing-his-nuts-Taxidermy-grey-squirrel-/330695171954?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4cfef7df72
Natalie S recently posted..Little Miss S Eats All the Things
200 karla February 29, 2012 at 11:19 pm: For you dear, with love:

http://www.badtaxidermy.com/

http://www.labusas.org/forum/showthread.php?t=150857

- Karla
201 Cheryl D. March 1, 2012 at 12:24 am: I’m very confused. People bid money on dead squirrels? Considering that about 3 squirrels a day throw themselves in front of my car, I’d think people would be giving them away for free!

Odd.
Cheryl D. recently posted..The Oscars! We’re not Going this Year
202 XLMIC March 1, 2012 at 1:45 am: The lounging, phone cover squirrel reminds me oddly of Mae West. I wonder if it’s female? But when you mentioned it being ‘fuzzy and ergonomic’ when held on your shoulder, I couldn’t help but think of that video that went viral sometime ago of the little girl playing with the dead squirrel…how floppy and soft that thing was. A phone cover…sure.

But I am so unbelievably bummed I missed the spatula frenzy. I have THE spatula…and even showcased it in a video But I am not really at all famous so I guess it doesn’t really matter…
XLMIC recently posted..Climbing the walls…
203 Yronelle March 1, 2012 at 4:09 am: I really love reading your post here..Thank you and I really enjoyed this post…
Yronelle recently posted..Waterfront Gold Singapore
204 Kitty March 1, 2012 at 6:15 am: Squirrels tend to hang out with nuts, so I expect your furry phone cover would feel right at home, n’cest pas?
205 Lady Cantingham March 1, 2012 at 6:35 am: Where has this blog been all my life…………………
206 Susan Poirier March 1, 2012 at 9:23 am: Hi

Your blog Rocks!!

I was awarded the Versatile Blogger award and my job was to pass it on.. I am awarding it to your blog. Please come check out my posting about it. http://www.poirierscraftsandcreations.blogspot.com/2012/03/versatile-blogger-award.html

Then for you to pass it on, you need to write a blog spot about it, thank me in it, post 7 things about yourself and choose 15 other bloggers that you enjoy and pass it on. Also, copy and paste the Award logo for your own blog.

Just another networking tool.
Susan Poirier recently posted..Versatile Blogger Award
207 KnottedFingers March 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm: You never cease to make me laugh!! I hope to someday buy your book. If I sent a photo of my cat holding twine could I get a discount LOL
KnottedFingers recently posted..Yay it’s me!!
208 Susan Brunjes March 1, 2012 at 1:21 pm: A friend sent me this because he knows that I love your site and blogstalk you daily…HolyShitSnacks!!! Check this out…
http://drinkingmadeeasy.com/booze-in-the-news/unique-brews-brewdog/
209 Jenny March 1, 2012 at 2:14 pm: Because of you I’ve been thinking about what sort of taxidermied animal I’d use to represent myself. Right now I’m thinking opossum. Why? Because looking at one you never know if they are going to freak out on you or just pass out and stink the place up.

You are an inspiration!
Jenny recently posted..Up, Up and Away
210 Anna March 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm: Haha I know now why Fillion was too busy to respond to your tweet! Green lantern for the win! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzNMtGx_cZc&feature=player_embedded
211 JE March 1, 2012 at 4:13 pm: I feel that it would be a disservice to you (and your readers) not to show you this:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/81706020/vintage-taxidermy-alligator-lamp?ref=sr_gallery_20&sref=&ga_search_query=mounted+taxidermy&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

I believe that you must own this.
212 Snowy March 1, 2012 at 4:49 pm: I’ve seen squirrels sit like that. Usually when they’re relaxed, feeling safe, and/or on a high perch and waiting for you to lean into their cage to clean it out so they can suddenly leap onto your head and try to make a getaway.

Or when they’ve eaten too much fermented fruit.
213 Gwen March 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm: the scary thing is, i dated that squirrel before his untimely demise. he was always quick to finish but he was a squirrel…how could i blame him?!?!
Gwen recently posted..Shitty Jobs: Give Us Your Tired, Your Poor…Your Kids (Conclusion of Part 4 of a series)
214 meg. March 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm: An ice cream sandwich, held with tongs, fresh out of the oven, at that!
215 JoleneAZ March 1, 2012 at 10:31 pm: A friend sent me this link for a recycle/ second hand shop in Phoenix. Beyonce has made a royal appearance!
http://shopcheapthrills.com/Home_Page.html
216 Connie T March 1, 2012 at 11:15 pm: I saw a stuffed badger wearing a pink hat and jacket, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette. I put it on my blog. http://connieemeraldeyes.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/smokin-pink/
I thought of you. The squirell phone would be so great.
Connie T recently posted..Smokin Pink
217 Another Jenny March 1, 2012 at 11:30 pm: Have you seen this taxidermied badger theremin yet? I feel like this should be the crown jewel of your taxidermy collection. Maybe you and Wolf Blitzer could get with Bjork and her swan dress and make an entire taxidermy orchestra… http://failblog.org/2012/03/01/white-trash-repairs-there-i-fixed-it-taxidermied-badger-theremin/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+failblog+%28The+FAIL+Blog+-+Fail+Pictures+%26+Videos+at+Failblog.ORG%29
218 CuppaJo March 2, 2012 at 9:11 am: You’ve seen this, right?
http://www.zombiepinups.com/monique/

They also inspired the “squirrel people” in one of my favorite books, A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore – if you haven’t, you should go read it.
219 Jen March 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm: You can get some awesome squirrel lamps JUST LIKE THIS CELL PHONE COVER! http://pinterest.com/pin/159737118003045590/. So awesome.
220 Amanda G March 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm: Have you seen this?

It’s a taxidermied badger-thingie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tNEMzH7pOZ8#!
221 Jen W March 2, 2012 at 11:11 pm: I NEED the squirrel (SKWERL!!) Cell phone cover! I beg you to invent this… I’d like to pre-order IMMEDIATELY!!! Complete genius! Marry me!!!! Lmto!!!!
222 Anne March 3, 2012 at 1:27 am: TOO funny. I love your sense of humor. Thanks for a great blog.
223 Amy March 3, 2012 at 7:31 am: So I was just on Reddit and I saw the sqquirewl flashin his nuts and I thought of you but of course as soon as I get to your page you have a link to it already. Oh well.
224 Nekobecca March 3, 2012 at 8:25 am: Just a “Squirrel Mount ( cowboy flashing his nuts ) Taxidermy grey squirrel” from ebay. I didn’t see this anywhere on here, so I wanted to make sure you have it.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330695171954
225 Kate March 3, 2012 at 9:11 am: Oh my word! I like about 15 minutes from this person! I’m going to start gathering squirrel to take to him now. I wish I had known this when my dog died in December. I could’ve had her mounted on a motorcycle (she’s a little too big to be a phone holder – more like those old bag car phones).
226 willow March 3, 2012 at 10:49 am: I assume you’ve already seen this, but it is FAR better that that ‘ol squirrel’s nutsack:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Squirrel-Mount-cowboy-flashing-his-nuts-Taxidermy-grey-squirrel-/330695171954?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4cfef7df72#ht_500wt_1413
This one has a cape.

Thank you, Reddit.
227 Kathleen March 4, 2012 at 7:42 am: I just woke up from a dream populated by taxidermied squirrels. Including the little flasher squirrel. He was on a mad flashing spree throughout the dream. Until Juanita Weasel showed up with rollers in her fur and her wonderful frock on. She then proceeded to yelled at him. She informed him he should be ashamed on himself. All of this seemed perfectly normal until… She went on to tell him that if he is going to flash people, he better be properly manscaped first, and gave him tips on how do accomplish this. Somewhere during her rant/manscaping how to, I decided it would be a good idea to pet her. I rarely have good ideas it seems, because this resulted in a lecture on manners. So yeah… that’s how my day went today. It ended with my husband questioning my sanity, because “who the hell has a dream about dead rodents?”
228 Phoebe Marie March 4, 2012 at 10:29 am: so, i bought your squirrel.

i couldn’t help myself. it made me laugh and laugh and laugh. and when it arrives, it will always make me think of you. and YOU make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

so it’ll be twice as funny/awesome.
Phoebe Marie recently posted..Weirdnesses
229 amber March 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm: to add to the taxidermy awesomeness – http://www.incrediblethings.com/style-and-gear/wtf-real-life-horse-shoes/
230 vwolfe March 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm: Why do I always think of you when i see taxidermy?

http://pinterest.com/pin/159737118003045590/
231 Zultrgator March 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm: So my husband totally thinks i need to up my meds. Yesterday, I saw a squirrel on the side of the road, I tried to get him to stop so we could take it to the taxidermy place and get it mounted for you. He mumbled something about him talking the Dr himself next time and not waiting in the front. I just think he needs a better ivagination !!!!! i made myself laugh~~~~
232 Gwen March 12, 2012 at 6:16 pm: “i’m too sexy for this bench…to sexy for this bench…come be my little wench…”
Gwen recently posted..Words With Friends

Normal squirrels don’t sit like that. Just saying.

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