UPDATED: Victor doesn’t understand me or the allure of dead rodents.

Conversation between me and Victor:

me:  Hey, just FYI? I just bought myself a celebration mouse instead of steak.

Victor:  I already regret asking for clarification.

me: Well, I got a good review in Oprah’s magazine so I thought I deserved a steak dinner to celebrate, but I don’t really like steak so instead I thought to myself “Well what do you like?” and I realized that I like ethically taxidermied Victorian mice dressed in people clothes.

Victor: You just realized that?

me:  Well “remembered” is probably more accurate.  But here’s the deal, they were CRAZY CHEAP.

Victor: “They”?

me: I may have bought five.

Victor: Motherfucker.  THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED ON THE INTERNET.

me:  Yes, but they were practically buy one, get four free because they were only $150 for the whole set.  That’s like $8 bucks each.

Victor:  Using what kind of fucked up Algebra?

me:  8 bucks a leg.

Victor:  That’s not how math works.

me:  It does with mice, plus they’re fancy mice.

Victor:  Why?  Because they’re white?

me:  No, racist.

Victor:  Dude.  At the pet store all the “fancy mice” are white.  Don’t blame me.

me:  Fine, Victor.  I’ll just blame the system.  But no, they’re fancy because they’re all in black tie.  AND THEY’RE IN AN ORCHESTRA.

I'm making an evening gown for the one on the right because right now it's too much of a sausage party and no one wants mouse sausage.

Victor: Hang on.  These mice are 150 pounds.

me:  No fucking way.  They’re MICE.  They’re like 3 pounds COMBINED.

Victor:  No, I mean the price is in British pounds.  AND THIS IS WHY YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO BUY CELEBRATION MICE ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT SUPERVISION.

me:  You know what?  You are ruining the whimsical celebration of these dead mice.  Plus, I don’t understand the pound conversion.  Is it 150 pounds of American cash?  Because if I pay in wheelbarrows of pennies those Brits are screwed.

Victor:  Please stop buying dead animals without asking me first.

me:  You should have put that in our wedding vows.

Victor: You should stop buying dead mice playing instruments.

me:  You should start making tiny coats and tails for these dead mice.  Also, I need  150 pounds of money.  I’m raiding your change drawer.

Victor: I don’t even feel safe in my own house anymore.

 ***********************

In related news, I want to celebrate with you too since you’ve been with me these last ten years of writing this book.  The book comes out a week from tomorrow (!) so I’m giving away an autographed copy of the audio book on CD (read by me) which has extra outtakes and a bonus chapter.

All you have to do is submit a name for one of the mice (or the whole group) in the comments and I’ll choose someone at random to win. And again, thank you.  I couldn’t have done this without your support.  Seriously.

UPDATED:  You people are get greatest dead animal namers in the history of ever and you should bookmark this page for the next time you have a hamster with no name.  I’ll randomly pick a winner for the CD tomorrow but until then I just wanted to share a few of my favorites that you’ve shared:

“Mice-tro Wallace Hartley II and the Von Trapps”

“Mouse-zart”

“Yo-Yo Mouse”

“Hobo Thunderbun”

“Ludwig Van Squeekhoven”

“Neil Patrick Harris”

“Henry Mousini”

“Nigel Higgenbottom”

“Alsonso Mousekovitz”

“Bippen Schnitzelpuss”

“Viktor Aqualung Cumberbatch”

“Mathilda St. Whiskers”

“Lady Persephone Cheddarton”

“Puddles”

Please, never stop…

2,127 thoughts on “UPDATED: Victor doesn’t understand me or the allure of dead rodents.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Love them! How can Victor not understand that this is a perfectly acceptable replacement for celebration steak? Your own mouse-chestra!

  2. Big congrats on the imminent book launch. I’ve always thought Dave was a good name for a mouse. No puns. Just a good, simple, straight-forward name.

  3. I sense some interesting mice action shots coming… please tell me you paid extra for the expedited shipping, right?

  4. I’m not sure about the mice themselves, but I think they’re playing a piece by Tchaimousky.

  5. Name them all after famous Jazz artists.

    The one with the saxophone just looks like his name should be Satchmo (even though it’s the wrong instrument).

  6. The Viennese Mousical Orchestra starring: Friedrich, Hans, Wilhem, and Sieglinde. Conducted by Mergatroyd the Maestro.

  7. It’s Willis. Not the conductor or the any of the “first chair” mice, but that guy in the back – possibly with a flute (hard to tell). Anyway. his name is Willis. Please, address him as such. Speaking of dress – going to need something with a little more attitude. He’s very tall so maybe a lovely tophat? I don’t know. This is your expertise. I just know that he’s Willis and he WILLis kick some ass if you make fun of his friends.

  8. I’ll go with Efigenia, Gmork, Rick Steves, Fritz, and Fabrizio the Stable Boy

  9. Those mice need very important sounding names. Like Leonardo. Alfredo.

    Or Larry, Darryl, and his other brother Darryl. And two other guys.

  10. I think the name of the female mouse (as you indicated one will be) is going to actually set the tone for the entire set. I think something creative and feminine… Penelope? Or Ivanka? Or Liliana?

  11. Incidentally, there’s a dead baby mouse on the path leading to my house right now. Well, it may be gone since it just rained really hard – but if it’s still there maybe I could collect it and send it to you… if you like lol

  12. Cherie – it’s a little too late for any of those mice to be dying for anything, ya know?

    Jenny – the one with the saxophone is clearly Bill Clinton. You can ask about his underwear if you don’t believe me.

  13. Amadeus Mouse-art. Ludwig van Mouse-thoven. Johann Sebastian Mouse. Gustav Mouse-ler. Mouse-kovsky. SOMEBODY STOP ME.

  14. I think the conductor mouse should get a dress. You know, for feminism. Or trans-acceptance. Whichever.

  15. All five:
    Oberon, Puck, Caliban, Tybalt, and for the girl, Thisbe

  16. Oh, right: a name. I think the one in middle, facing the camera, should be called Tarquin–since these are British mice, and that’s a good British name.

  17. The girl really needs to be named Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third

  18. The girl in the dress may be Princess Muffin-butt; The sax player with the bow-tie could definately be Bartleby James.

  19. Moustafa Rodenteron and the Fancifus Quartet. Featuring Seymore Bagswell on French Horn.

    Black pants with a shiny stripe down the seam, and at least one in an evening gown – maybe the trombone player as she/he has her bowtie on upside down in protest. Oh – and bolero jackets. Definitely.

  20. Reminds me of college days…I had a sicko roommate who passed a lady walking 3 beautiful dogs and without missing a beat looked down and said, “Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner”. It didn’t help that we were in NYC Chinatown and he was Asian. I think the lady was in shock and quickly ran away from us.

    I couldn’t help think, “Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Appetizer, and Dessert”.

  21. The saxaphonist, clearly, is Ezekiel “Underbite” Simmons. I’d know him anywhere.

  22. I think the conductors name should be Wolfgang Amadeus Mouseart, just saying.

  23. How about The Rat Pack? But you get to pick which one is Frank Sinatra.

  24. The one who ends up in the evening dress should be Ophelia. Fancy, and Shakespearean-y… an appropriate name for a fancy mouse in an orchestra, don’t you think? And also kind of tragic; because… you know… she’s dead.

  25. I’m pretty sure I’m no good at naming mice. But i would like to submit Bob. Because it’s easy to remember.

  26. Obviously the group is Die Fledermaus, the conductor is Johan Strauss/Mouse II, one should be Gabriel von MousEisenstein, and the one in the evening gown could be Rosalinde, MousEisenstein’s wife

  27. From the left: Nestor, Landon (given name is actually Lestor, but Nestor made him change it), Jonathan, Baldovino (affectionately called Baldy) and Imogen Faith.

  28. Phinneas McMousen? Fancy-Phin (I just nicknamed him) is the conductor of the group. Their quintet might be The Verminites.

  29. I never thought I’d like taxidermied animals, but I’m loving your collection here!

    Name … hmm… Maurice, Lilianya, Herbert, Theodore, and Steve.

    There’s always a Steve.

  30. Damn, there’s isn’t one playing a piano. It would be named Thelonious Mouse. If the one in the back is playing the trumpet you could go with Wynton Mousalis.

    Oy, the puns.

  31. Marmite (don’t ask me why but I want to try some so its been on my mind). Plus, it sounds like a good name for a mouse.

    Also, Tennyson, Merriweather, Cornflower, Sassafras, Duke, or Cary (as in Cary Grant since I love him so). I had a pet mouse once I named Cheese so that could work too.

    You could call them Marmite and the Lord Tennyson’s. 🙂

    Congrats on the review. I cannot wait to get my copy in the mail.

  32. I’ve always wanted to name my band Marvin and the Rabbits. But I can’t sing or play any instruments, so you can take that for your little mousey jazz band because they are clearly more talented than I will ever be. PS- SO excited for your book!

  33. Ok, the whole group is called the Shadow Proclamation Tribute Band (Dr Who reference) and the evening gown (soon to be, anyway) wearing lady is ChiChi Jones.

    Sorted.

  34. The conductor should be in a dress too, because that’s just kick-ass. Girl Power!!

    I’m thinking they are redneck mice who just happened to dress up for the day, so the girls must be Bitsy and Wanda. The boys are Bubba, Cletus, and Bodine. You’d have realized they were redneck mice if you’d seen the beer cans they had hidden by their feet 😉

  35. They are cleary french mice and therefore one of them needs to be named Jean Claude.

  36. First off, I can’t wait for the day 30 years into the future when the crew from “Hoarders” has to go through your shit.

    Comedy gold.

    Second, I suggest the following:

    – Duke Mousington
    – Yo Yo Mouse
    – Kenny Gee I Could Sure Go For Some Cheese
    – Jim

  37. Shouldn’t the saxophone mouse be immortalizing one of the greats like Branford Mousalis, or Kenny G Mouse or Charlie Parkermouse (although he was known as Bird so not sure how that fits in evoluntionarily speaking). I like Franchesca (phonetically spelled) for the evening gown wearer.

  38. 3+2 Blind Mice (Band Name) Name the girl Mary (in honor of Little House) and the boys can be Ray, Stevie, Andrea (with an accent) and John Kay.

  39. Well, since they’re British, and they’re mice, and mice like cheese (or is that a stereotype?), I think they should be:
    Crowdie, Farleigh Wallop, Pantysgawn, Stinking Bishop, and Little Wallop. All cheese of British origin. And yes, Pantysgawn is really a cheese, but it’s hilarious!

  40. At least one of them is named Lorenzo. I’m also fond of Rupert, Alfredo, Simone, and something that starts with C. Crawford? Coraline? Knock yourself out, you wonderful evil genius.

  41. You should name them after kinds of cheese: cheddar, swiss, pepperjack, etc…

    Can’t WAIT to get my hands on your book!

  42. Since Victor is such a fan, you should name them ALL Victor. Except the one you’re making an evening gown for. She can be Victoria.

  43. Ambert Roquefort. It’s a bit cheesy* but eloquent at the same time. *These names also double as types of cheeses.

  44. The one on the right who will be wearing the evening gown looks like Victoria to me. Just tell Victor it’s one of those “honor thy husband” bullshit things.

  45. The saxophonist should be Branford Mousalis. He could play either jazz or classical.

  46. The little one at the back with what I’m guessing is a trombone looks like an Archibald, or Archie. Mainly because he’s small and round-shouldered and looks a little nervous and weedy. In an adorable way, though. Who doesn’t love the nerdy friend?

  47. The group should definitely be Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, consisting of Layzie Bone, Flesh-n-Bone, Bizzy Bone, Wish Bone, and Lawrence.

  48. The middle one at first glance looks like he has a trumpet, so Sachmo. But at second glance it’s a trombone, so that might not be the best name.
    I vote for great jazz legends though.

  49. The group should be called the “Fieldharmonic Orchestra” (field mice, philharmonic, etc)

  50. I think the conductor just screams ‘Edgar’, because (s)he looks both rich AND happy (wikipedia assures me this has something to do with the name edgar). Also, I had a conductor called Edgar once, although I may have made that up.

  51. I think you should name them after a boy band like n’sync…

    Justin Timberlake
    JC Chasez
    Joey Fatone
    Chris Kirkpatrick
    Lance Bass

    Cause a mice in tie named Justin Timberlake is funny!

  52. Considering they are British mice their names would be from left to right

    Monsieur Bartholomew P Percival
    Colonel Cuthbert
    Lord Larry Lars Lancelot
    Sir Solomon Montgomery III
    Steve

  53. I feel strongly that one of the mice should be named Oliver Clarence Mousaford. And Mousaford is obviously pronounced “Mouse-a-fud”.

    If your looking for a more sophisticated name I also recommend The Ever Distinguished, Oliver Clarence Mousaford III.

  54. For the one in the back, I can’t tell what he’s (yes, it’s definitely a he) holding, but it looks a lot like he’s brandishing some epic-looking garden hose, so his name should be Hoser the Great. The one for which you’re making an evening gown could be Helga Hornist.

  55. Let’s see, the mice are Lady Beatrice of the West Chester Rodentia (she in the gown), and her loyal footmen: Fergus, Angus, George and Cristoff. Rumor has it that Lady Beatrice has been having an affair with the exotic Cristoff. She’s a bit daring!

  56. Jasper, Ezra, Nimrod, Nellie and York.. make up the band J.E.N.N.Y. I looked up popular Victorian names and came up with all of those EXCEPT York. There was no “Y” name for male or female.

  57. I’m thinking a jazz ensemble of all time great musicians reincarnate as mice (who then died again since, you know, mice don’t live all that long–poor choice on their part, actually–should have come back as sea turtles–but I digress). Duke Ellington conducting, Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet, John Coltrane on saxophone and Glenn Miller on the trombone. You’re on your own for the last one. Looks like a french horn and I can’t think of any famous french horn players. And since you’ve decided to make that one into a transvestite, I’m completely at a loss (and fyi, slapping a boy mouse into a dress doesn’t make it any less of a sausage fest–it just pretties it up a bit).

  58. Murph Mouse and the Magic Tones (sorry – just watched the “Blues Brothers” again. Also, I think the lady should be River Song.

  59. You should name one of them Marcel Mouse, after the famous flautist Marcel Moyse.

  60. Since they are from England, and obviously an older group, how about Fleetwood Mouse? John – the conductor (and drummer when needed), Lindsey, Mick, Stevie and Christine (if you decide to dress another one as a girl) or Bob if you want to leave him as a guy. Classic group – Classic Mice.

  61. I think the one in the dress should be Ramatoulaye.

    Other suggestions: Howard, Archibald, Roland, Clarence.

  62. If a tree falls in the forest does anybody sneeze? For one of the mice or the whole band, you decide.

  63. You should name the conductor Mister Bobo, after the man upstairs in Coraline. He owns a mouse circus.

  64. My first thought was the band on the Titanic. Their names were Hartley, Bricoux, Brailey, clarke, hume, Krins, Percy Cornelius Taylor and John Wesley Woodward. I think any of those would do. Although Im partial to Hartley and Percy Cornelius Taylor!

  65. One of them needs to be named Alonso, so you can say “Allons-y, Alonso!”

  66. Conductor of the Royal Camembert Philharmonic: Franz Klemens Schwarzenberg

    Then, from the left:
    Rudolf Maurer
    Tobias (he prefers to be known as having only one name. Like Madonna. Or Cher.)
    Otto Jurgen Schönfeld
    Annaliese von Bozen (yes, she’s nobility. No, you may not take a picture with her.)

  67. In honour of the band I was named after, I’d suggest Terry and the Pirates. I think that was also the name of a cartoon or comic strip. You could change the spelling of Terry to Teri (the way I spell it, you know, like Teri Garr. Or Teri Hatcher.) so the girl mouse has a more girly spelling for her name.

    In other news: http://www.amazon.ca/Jenny-Lawson-Terrence-James-Victorino/dp/6138436954/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333978757&sr=1-3
    WTF? I could do that. I should — I’d finally get published. And $50.48! Wow.

  68. Ingeborg Von Strumpet (for the female, and she should probably be in a blue dress to bring out her eyes)
    Hector Necket
    Rodrick Brunost
    Pierre Roquefort
    And the conductor: Aleric Danger Stilton.

    and the band should be called “Danger Five” after Aleric “Danger is my middle name” Stilton.

  69. Farnsworth! With the exclamation point, for the guy with the slide trombone. Or The Hide & Surprise Symphony Players 🙂 Rock on, Jenny!

  70. Rodney and Sigfried should definitely be used. And maybe Chadwick. Or Zeus!

  71. This mouse orchestra could only be better if that was a music box. That rotated. Perfect center piece for every holiday!

  72. Wait, you don’t like steak? That’s just wrong. Steak is the ultimate version of meat! Mmmm… now I’m hankering for a steak way too early in the morning…

    I think the mice should be named Dimitri, Piotr, Vladimir, Boris, and Anastasiya. They tried out for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but they just didn’t make the cut. Sad. 🙁

    The End.

  73. Basil; one of them HAS to be named Basil… Oh, and Wilimina; the one that gets the ball gown should be called Wilimina

  74. There seems to be a dearth of female names suggested so far, so I’ll throw out Gertrude. Nothing says “I’m a classical mouse” like Gertrude.

  75. Moustro for the lead mouse and everyone would have to refer to him as The Moustro like from Seinfeld. That sh*t cracks me up lol

  76. Vermin Ensemble. And if you’re turning the right one into a girl mouse, I suggest Ellouise.

  77. Um I don’t know what kind of instrument the guy in the center is playing but to me it looks like he’s holding an uzi. So I’m going with Rambo.

  78. The Writer’s Orchestra of Accompaniment, with Harrell, Sheryl, Feral, Meryl, and Dude.

  79. The guy in the back (I think he has a trumpet) is the self-appointed leader and is named Mr. Pinkerton. The other mice try and call him “Pinky” but when they do he refuses to acknowledge them until they finally relent and just call him Mr. PInkerton just to move practice along.

  80. There needs to be at least one named “Cheddar Dave”. Probably the one on saxophone, though I’m not picky.

  81. Given that these are British mice, I believe you need a Nigel, a Basil (pronounced BAH-sil), a Giles, a Roger, and Penelope (but call her Pippa!) for the lady mouse. Or, you could just call the quintet “The Tallywhackers” and be done with it.

  82. Name one Stacey for no reason other than it’s my name & I’ve always wanted a namesake!

  83. I have a little stuffed mouse named Algernon that I take on vacations and take photographs of as he enjoys things. He met Mickey Mouse last December. He was ecstatic.

    My husband was really sad that I didn’t name him Paws Scaggs. I respectfully offer that name to you, which is appropriate because it is musical.

    p.s. I would like to emphasize that by stuffed, I mean stuffed as in “teddy bear” not stuffed as in “corpse.”

  84. Well, obviously since they’re fancy British mice they need to have fancy British names. Like Abel, Abbott, Abigail, Adamson and Adolph.

  85. Kosmo, Kira, Kayla, Kiddo & Klancey.
    Not coincidentally the names of our 2 dogs, 2 cats and the bat we “adopted” at the World Forestry Center.

  86. This sophisticated musical ensemble deserves a sophisticated name: Musical Musculus or maybe even Musicus Musculus. Mus Musculus being the scientific name for the common house mouse.

  87. Couldn’t one of them wear a polka dot bow tie? Black is so sober for a mouse orchestra. Back row, far right…his name is Vicomte de Souriceau. He’s fallen on hard times and now has to play for his cheese with lowly musicians.

  88. Emilio Estevez. I know, I know, it seems out in left-field right now but what’s Emilio Estevez doing these days? Probably playing the piccolo.

  89. Something about the jaunty way the saxophonist is wearing his bow tie, he strikes me as a ‘Marvin’ Mouse. All their surnames are ‘Mouse’ presumeably?
    And please DON’T stop buying animals without asking Victor first.

  90. They should totally be called Meistro Maximus and the Fabulous Four! I’d watch them perform with a name like that!

  91. It’s clear that the fancy theme must continue on; i mean they are wearing bow ties!

    My vote is for Alfred or Gregory for the leading mouse.

  92. I’m thinking Georgina for the lovely mouse with the yet to be made gown (perhaps in red?). I can’t wait to listen to your book and I’m thrilled it includes the out takes. That rips :-).
    Thanks heals for making my life a better place to be. 🙂
    Xxx

  93. I feel like since these are musical mice, they all need musical names.
    Therefore: Gustav Mahler, John Lennon, the artist formerly known and once again known as Prince, Stephen Sondheim, and the one who will be in the dress: Dolly Parton.

  94. I LOVE your mice. But I feel bad for Victor. It seems like it must be hard for him to go through life so confused all the time.

    Names? Hmmmm… Desidario. Williamson. Haviland. Mr Fritch. And HockEye.

  95. It’s obvious that the mouse you’re going to put a dress on should be called Jezebel. And she could have an ongoing rivalry with Juanita. For the record, I think all the mice in the ensemble should have J names. The only other good one I can think of is Jules. Jules and Jezebel. Those are my only contributions. *sobs*

  96. Sometimes, I maybe, for a tiny split second, think I’m on Victor’s side, like this time. And then I saw the picture. They are so totally worth 150 pounds, however much that converts to in dollars. OMG. I love them. My friend who is trying to find a taxidermied meerkat is going to be so jealous.

  97. Nathaniel, gertrude, Mr. Butterworth, eustice and l-a (pronounced ladasha)

  98. Micey Gray

    Except of course, she’s white. The mouse, I mean.

    The Count Micey Orchestra

    Squeekze (okay, wrong genre)

    Whiskers and the Hickory Dock Five
    Or is it four? Do they include the bandleader when they do those things?

  99. I think you should name the mouse conductor after Victor.
    Perhaps then he’d feel better about the entire thing.
    Well that, and he’d probably be compelled to make it a pair of pants. 🙂

  100. In honour of the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking, I believe the conductor should be named Wallace Hartley (leader of the band that kept on playing). The others you can choose from other band members:
    Fred Clarke
    P.C. Taylor
    G. Krins
    Theodore Brailey
    Jock Hume
    J.W. Woodward

    I dont know if those names are correct- you cant trust the internet

  101. Because they’re all “fancy mice” I think they should have a small plaque reading “Vanilla Mice playing ‘Mice Mice, Baby in G minor.”

  102. These mice are just gorgeous. This is why I hope to have taxidermied animal scenes when I’m living in a house with my random husband-like object in ten or twenty years.

    If I get cats, they will just have to live with the fact that the MICE ARE NOT TOYS.

    Anyway. I sense these mice should be named: Levinowitz Saskatchewan (conductor), Cecil Bernard (saxophonist), Xavier Bonaparte (trombone/whatever-the-Fudge-That-Brass-Instrument-Is Player), Marcel Bon Qui Qui (trumpet player), Elizabeth Susan Thatcher-Monroe (french horn player/bad ass feminist woman-mouse).

  103. Why do those mice remind me of the scene in Titantic where the orchestra is playing as the ship is sinking?

  104. I think one should absolutely be named Winston Henry Grant Danger Blstamford the third. The third is part of the name, not to be confused with a junior’s junior.

  105. I think Victor gets so cranky because you haven’t named any of your awesome taxidermied friends after him. It is obvious that the female one should be named Victoria. Possibly Queen Victoria since she’s British and all.

  106. I think you should name the one holding the trombone Albert…because he looks remarkably like the mouse of the same name in the classic Christmas cartoon “T’was the Night Before Christmas.” He’ll probably fuck up your clocks while you sleep, too…just like the cartoon mouse. But he’ll have the best of intentions while doing so.

  107. They are the Royal Rodent Orchestra led by Sir Malcolm Mousington and playing a rousing rendition of Stairway to Taxidermy Heaven. That is all.

  108. Percival and Maxwell. The one in the evening gown should be Isabelle. And because tomorrow is my adorable nephew’s birthday, you should name one Grant.

    I’m so excited for your book to arrive next Tuesday I could almost wet myself. You’re welcome for that image!

  109. For the band: Mus (from Mus Musculus… scientific name for the house mouse).

  110. Cameron, Sloane, Jeanie, Charlie Sheen, and Mr. Rooney.

    You’d have to have to make one more dress, sorry.

  111. Alfred Geller (just use Alfred) — he was a famous Hungarian maestro way back when. He’s also the CEO of Geller Media Management & an attorney who worked on Wall Street!! LOL!!

  112. Yep, too many mice dick on the dance floor. Or the orchestra floor. Whateves. Hey! Since the mice look like the doomed orchestra of the Titanic and they are re-releasing that shit, maybe you could name it Kate. Or Leo… or KLEO! That’s it- Mrs. Kleo, the psychic cymbal-playing mouse. You’re welcome.

  113. I like Persephone.. because she was the queen of the underworld.. or Minerva.. just cause it sounds cool

  114. Well that’s easy. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop; aka the Rat Pack. Of course.

  115. I see an Alonso in there and maybe a Frannie. Ooh and a sherlock! The one on the left reminds me of tue great mouse detective.

  116. I was in a musical play in 4th grade. It was the story of Mozart, only if Mozart and all his people were mice. I was mouse narrator number 3 or something and the lipstick the moms used to make my nose red stained my skin so I more closely resembled the village sot than a mouse for the following week. At any rate, these classically trained mice are begging to be called “Of Mice and Mozart” after our sad rendition of a play.

    Or, barring that, maybe the Rondo Rodents?

  117. I haven’t read all the comments, so I feel pretty sure someone’s already pointed this out, but the conductor simply must be called “Mice-tro,” right?

    That sounds more like a title than a name, though, so what about Micetro Rod?

  118. Alistair, Bartemaeus, Chadwick, Donovan, and Ermitrude (you said you were making one a girl, right?)

  119. I think you should name them Wil Wheaton and Collaters! Or the The Don’t Be a Dick Orchestra featuring Wil Wheaton. (I super love Wil Wheaton and think everything should be named in his honor)

  120. Well, obviously (and I hope it hasnt been said yet, I didn’t read them *all*) the conductor is “the Micetro!”

  121. something along the lines of Door Mouse Quartet or Fancy Mouse Quartet… or Dead as a Door Mouse? Also, I couldn’t decide if they’re a quartet or a quintet. Does a conductor count as a member of the group?

  122. Starting with the conductor and going clockwise I would name them: Horatio, Archibald, Royce, Bubba (he just REALLY looks like a Bubba) and Lulu (once she gets her dress).

  123. I think the one that will wear an evening gown just screams Donna Noble. I mean, she is British after all.

  124. Didn’t read through the comments yet. Can I be first (probably not, sigh…) to suggest The Mouseketeer Chamber Orchestra??? And? Victor should totally get off your case because this is probably the best taxidermy purchase you’ve made yet 🙂

  125. I love the mice!!! Congrats on the good review, and I can not wait to get my hands on your book!
    My husband thinks I’m odd because I’m in love with 2 taxidermied minx. Well, I just read him this blog and he now realizes he’s got it easy!
    So in honor of him and his high school trombone playing days: I’d name the middle mouse “Macthe”.
    And I think the group should be called 150 Pounds of Pennies

  126. They look like they should belong to The Boston Symphony Mice since clearly the composer is John Mice Williams.

  127. One should be named O. Just O. O for Oprah’s magazine, the impetus for the purchase as well as for Omaha Steaks, in honor of the steak you did not buy instead. Wait! There are five of them. Give them each one initial. Ready? M … O … U … S … E.

  128. Theodupus, Bartholemu, Phydeaux (the girl – “fido”), Brenedon, Mischeveaux (like bordeaux and Phydeaux), Pharl, Maddvox the smeared, Johan the conquerer, Villington Bradview Wiley (all one name) or Fred.

  129. Bartholomew. obviously.

    p.s. cant wait for the book, already have my copy pre-ordered!!

  130. You should definitely name your lady-mouse Squeaktoria J. Pippington! And the conductor could be Pasquale Mousporani. Someone else already mentioned naming one of the mice Percival and I’m all for that as well. Additionally, Randall Q. Porpington, III, Esq. is a good name for a mouse, I think. 🙂

  131. Herr Detweiler.

    (Sorry, “The Sound of Music” was on yesterday and I can’t shake that name from my brain.)

  132. I like the name Reginald for the one with the french horn (I played french horn once upon a time) unless that’s the girl, then her name should be Lottie… totally Victorian era.

  133. I know they are ENGLISH and all….but I love me some good Russian history names: Rasputin, Felix, Alexander, Cyril, and Dimitry.

  134. # 59 Moooooog35 had excellent names. I giggled at Yo Yo Mouse and Kenny G I sure could go for some cheese. Lol most are quite good though. I’ve always known your friends have great imaginations, myself not so good, so I will leave it to the masters. Good Luck picking a winner.

  135. Hecate. For the one who gets the evening gown. She was all magicy and witchcrafty and I think she would approve of your taxidermied mice.

  136. Because writers (especially Victorian writers) would make a kick ass band – Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, Sir Thomas Malory, Sir Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle, Edgar Allen Poe. Can’t you just SEE them all together?!

  137. Congrats on the book! (and the good review in OPRAH) There are lots of great name suggestions. If you feel like making five evening gowns, you could name them after the Bennett sisters from Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice:’ Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Lydia and Kitty. I think it would be amusing to have a mouse named Kitty.

  138. From the right front working clockwise: Ms Cornelia Wisebaker, Sir Adam Keysmith, Duke Elijah Trimrunner, Sir Josef Shelfington, and Albie Munkhouse. The Duke only plays with them during his free time since he has a lot of duke-ish duties to perform but loves classical music. Albie is just some kid found on the street playing for food money, but he was very good so they let him join in. Its like instead of picking up trash on the freeway but better and more convenient for them. Mice like convenience.

  139. I vote the one that gets the dress is named “Rose DeWitt Bukater.”

    If she already has a name, then I vote the conductor’s name be, “Gentlemen-it-has-been-a-privilege-playing-with-you-tonight.”

  140. I immediately thought of Reginald. Then I did a quick read through and other people have also thought Reginald but you know what that means? I’m right. One of them is definitely named Reginald.

    That’s Reginald, not Reggie, Reg or Nald. His mother named him Reginald and Reginald it will be.

    Also, if you say Reginald enough it doesn’t sound that weird. What does sound weird is the British accent that I have begun using to say the name.

  141. My nickname is “Mouse of the House” and I have a mouse tattoo… so, yeah.. that works with this post…

    OK… so NOT about me.

    Call one Millicent. Or Malcolm. Aristotle. Chuck.

    Love them!

  142. Harpo in honour of the reason you purchased them; the review in Oprah’s magazine. Then carry-on the Marx Brothers theme with Groucho, Chico, Gummo and the evening gown bedecked one can be Zeppolina.

  143. The conductor looks like a Fredrick Von Meter to me. But thats just how I see it. Oh and the is the one in the dress going to be a “girl” mouse, our a “guy” mouse dressed like a girl. That could make a lot of difference on the name choice…cause a guy mouse in a dress would be AWESOME and I would call him Vida in honor of Patrick Swazye in the “To Wong Foo” movie. Again, that just my thoughts on the subject.

  144. Another vote for Horatio! And you should have a Julian because it’s such a sexy boy name and my husband hates it and even thought we only have girls he said he would never name a boy Julian.

  145. Voldemouse, Hairy Potter, Ron Weseally, Hermousine Granger, and Drako Mousefoy

  146. Awesome. The lovely lady with the French Horn should be named Fredericka Von Mousenhausen. I imagine that she’s a bit of a strumpet (hence the nakedness during orchestra, hussy), but now that she’s playing with the big boys I trust that you’ll attire Fredericka appropriately.

  147. Sir Guathier and he HAS to have a top hat. And then Madame Aerwyna for the one you are going to put into an evening gown.

  148. I see a red dress in the future of the female mouse. I also think Fiona would be a fitting name for her:)

  149. Congrats on the review!! One of them has to be Percy, Wallace or Rory. You could do a Doctor Who theme. The Conductor could be the Doctor. The Sax player has to be Jack because he’s just sexy. The one off to the right is obviously River. The two in the middle are a little tricky. The one with the sword looks like Mickey. The last one is a Wilfred.

  150. I love this! I love the Mice and thought maybe a group name of The Mousketunes! Or The Rat Pack band?

  151. Chester. For one of the mice, not for the group. Unless you really want to. It’s your mouse group, so who am I to judge?

  152. Jenny, congratulations on another wonderful review! I am becoming more attracted to taxidermied animals because of you, but as of yet have not gone out shopping for any. The mice would be very hard to pass up though. I would name the band “All Jazzed Up” featuring Leroy, Red, Sid, Earl , and Bunny. They should be dressed in formal attire.

  153. Peter Ilyitch Tchaikovsky for the composer because you’re supposed to spend several minutes remembering at least one mouse’s name. 🙂

  154. Since they are dead and, obvioulsy, musicians, I would name them after dead musicians… all beginning with the letter J, because I like that letter… and I can’t name 5 other dead musicians from roughly the same time period that all start with the same letter.

    John
    Jerry
    Jim
    James
    Janis

  155. I think Fievel is befitting such distinguised mice. And of course, then you must have Figaro. So you could do a whole group of F names, and aptly name the band the Funky Vermin. If one of the rodents is a ladykiller, you could call him Fabio. Perhaps Fritz and Felipe could round out the bunch, but only if Felipe is very suave. Hey, Ferris Mewler can be their groupie! lol

  156. Maybe one should be Stringfellow Hawke. When not performing in the orchestra he is fighting crime and flying Airwolf. Taxidermied pets with secret identities are all the rage.

  157. I would name one of them Monk, like Thelonious Monk. Or that obsessive compulsive on TV. Either way!

    PS I love audiobooks!

  158. Wil Wheaton. Definitely Wil Wheaton. And he should probably be the trombone mouse. And the one you’re making the dress for could be Felicia Day. IT WOULD BE LIKE A DEAD MOUSE QUARTET OF FAMOUS PEOPLE.

  159. The female…once she IS female…should be Eleanor! I don’t know why really…Elizabeth came to mind…Emma, even, but no…she should be Eleanor! (As to why they are all E names…I cannot tell you. It seems that is the letter of the day! LOL)

  160. To go with a Jazz theme….. Thelonious (Monk), Dizzy (Gillespie), Coltrane, Max (Roach), and Ella. Or if one has a sax, maybe you should throw in a Kenny G or wait….Yanni!!!

    Yanni Van Schnitzel…..could work. 😉

  161. Orchesteral Mousenuevers in the Dark. I’d name a mouse Shandy Gaff (a Victorian drink), or maybe change it to Shandy Geoff.

  162. The saxman is Marty. I don’t recognize the others…maybe they’re session peeps?

  163. Pompadour. I’m in Australia, so not sure if I can win. Still… Pompadour.

  164. Ladies and Gentlemen … it is my honor to present to you ….

    Marsupial Expectations a Quintet

  165. The one with the raging overbite looks like ‘Niles Chezwad, III’.

  166. Clarence, Lawrence , Lenard , Chauncey , Sylvester, Lenard and Lawrence are twins

  167. Obviously the girl one needs to be called Astrid Wordsworth Zickafoose (Her parents wanted a boy, hence the middle name.)

  168. Jordan, Jonathan, Donny, Danny, and Joey. Joey can be a girl if you want–that name is AMBIGUOUS. Actually, so is Jordan. Your choice.
    (Also, everything ALWAYS goes back to boy bands. Singing groups. Dancing/singing groups. Whatever.)

  169. I am sort of fond of Jeanette and the Sounds of Harmony with guest conductor Stuart von Wackerberg

  170. Ulcers McCool, one of the mice should be named Ulcers McCool. It’s the coolest name ever. Just throwing it out there.

  171. Obviously, Basil. As in Rathbone. Not the herb. That would just be silly.

  172. I’d be honored if the “girl” mouse (the one designated for the evening gown) was named Hildegarde. 🙂

  173. How about Sabrina von Maus? The one on the right looks like a Sabrina von Maus.

  174. Since they are British…Piers, Rhys, Rex, Rupert, and the cross-dressing (transgendered? Is this an official conversion?) one, Alfie.

  175. I’m pretty sure that conductor’s name is Sir Mouskie Von Fluffin….the Third.

  176. I think the composer looks like Sir Tailwick to me! Or perhaps “Chappie” and they call him “Ol’ Chap” oo that’s a good nicname!

  177. I think the conductor should be called Leopold. Even if you decide the conductor is female.

    ESPECIALLY if you decide the conductor is female.

  178. Modest Mice? Nah, they need to be more hipster for that name. Um…I can’t come up with anything else that isn’t too ‘cheesy’. See what I did there?

  179. Well, it is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, so I vote: John Wesley Woodard, Percy Cornelius Taylor, Theodore Bradley, John Clarke, etc. the band playing as the Titanic sank. These mice are obviously playing as the mouse Titanic sank!

  180. Winton Mousellis would be nice for the trumpet player. But I’m also rather found of Alphonse Nikolai Patchinko.

  181. I can’t read through all 355 comments right now, so this may have already been suggested:

    But, obviously, the one with the baton is MICEstro. Obviously.

  182. I went to a restaurant recently that had a cut of steak that was $130. Your mice are a near perfect equivalent to a nice steak dinner in Bellevue, WA.

  183. You should name them after the most fantastic & awful Disney Channel band of all time……. The Party. (Albert, DeeDee, Chase, Tiffani & Damon). Look up a video, they are fab.

  184. The entire orchestra is obviously called: The Aristocrats!

    Not to be confused with the Aristocats. Because that would add a totally unneccesary level of tension to their performance.

    Can’t wait for the book! Cheers!

  185. I’ve always thought Leonard would be a great name for a mouse. Victor reminds me so much of my husband… the poor guys!

  186. Jebediah Shabumpkin and the Hobbledehoys. And well done on all the great book reviews!

  187. Alistair
    It’s sophisticated, and then I’d totally hear him talking in Steve Valentine’s voice whenever I see the pic…which would be awesome!

  188. I shall call him George and I shall love him and squeeze him and take care of him forever…. I think the conductor should be called George 🙂

  189. The mousekateers, the slutty years
    Christina, Justin, brittney! Ryan gosling ( because you always have to say his full name) and Annette just to give a kudos to the original

    Jww

  190. This is obviously the mouse orchestra that were playing the night the Titanic went down. The reason they’re for sale at such a low-low price is due to the hundred year anniversary. Their tiny hearts? They WILL GO ON. As will the music. Rock it out, tiny drowned mice. You kept the music playing to keep the tiny mice families calm that cold night after the humans screwed it up for you. We salute you.

  191. I don’t know what their names are but I am SURE they are playing “Fur Elise.”

  192. One time i had those shoes with the fake water and plastic fish in them, and one time i was wearing them when i was really drunk. anyway, i named all the fishies and now i can’t remember what i named them all, but one was definitely ‘Candy’ and one was ‘Cookie’. I don’t think these are good names for these fancy mice, i just thought it was a tangentially related story (in that we are naming animals that are not actually alive; although the fish in my shoes never were alive, but a lot of people asked if they were. i don’t know how that would have worked…) that would be amusing.
    Anyway! you should name the one that you give a dress Annabelle Pamela Elliot the Third (points if you identify my three favorite shows those names are from! i don’t know what the points will be for, but you will have them anyway). there aren’t nearly enough female names with numbers after them.

  193. Lady Arianna Jarlsberg, Sir Cam M. Bert, Count Guido di Marscapone, Marquis du Roquefort, and Bill Cheddar (Jack Monteray was just too obvious) beacuse, clearly, they are aristocracy….

  194. Oh, you could name them after The Young One’s since they were purchased in pounds! Mike, Vyv, Neil and Rick. Although that may not be fancy enough.

    Good Brit names: Alfred, Baldric, Dabney and Dicky. Oh wait! Sausage names!

    Dicky, Johnson, Mr. Richard and Rod.

  195. Victor may also wish to point out that 150 lbs of pennies is worth about $272.73 – not including the cost of the wheelbarrow.

  196. Panache Mouse (cause he has some serious flair and flamboyance— just look at the way he raises that stick. Yep, he’s a badass) and the Fancy Schmancy White Mice Symphony.

  197. The girl should be Petunia Googleheimer. This was my dad’s nickname for me as a child, which sounds incredibly creative, until I realized it was also my baby sister’s nickname too! Anyway, I always thought it was a cool name, and I would be honored if you chose it!

  198. I kinda like the idea of putting them all in dresses. The three instruments I can see and the conductor are all generally associated with men, so I’m all for throwing gender stereotypes out the window. 🙂 (Although, I just looked again and saw the bow ties, which makes it more understandable that they’re all guys.)

    I guess it really depends on what kind of ensemble you want them to be. It’s a strange conglomeration of instruments. Sax, French Horn, Trombone, and one other that’s hard to see. You don’t generally see a group of just those. I would think to see a piano or a percussionist of some sort, maybe some sort of string player.

    So, given its unorthodox nature, I would go with experimental-20th-century-musician-type names, like Gustav (Mahler), (Charles) Ives, Philip (Glass), and maybe Maurice (Ravel) or Arnold (Schoenberg). For the lady, I’d go with something classy, like Angela, or Alexandra, or Elizabeth (two of those are name of women I’ve known that play FH, the other is just a name I like).

    I realize that the seriousness with which I considered all of this makes me a pretty hardcore music nerd, but given that we’re discussing names for a small taxidermied rodent orchestra, I imagine I’ll fit right in. 🙂

  199. It’s too bad there’s not a violinist in the bunch or he could be Itzhak Squirrelman.

  200. Forgive me if it’s already been said, but clearly “Winston Mousalis” is a must!

  201. My eight month old daughter seems to think Vivalcheese would make a hilarious name.

  202. One of them should definitely be named Gilgamesh. They need epic names. And Beatrix for one of the girls (there really needs to be more than one girl for it not to be a sausage party).

  203. The Mousicians

    Victor is totally being a buzz kill! Doesn’t he understand that the allure of classical rodent taxidermy is so profound in your life that if you didn’t indulge you wouldn’t be the amazing person you are, AND that he loves!

  204. Rory Rodentia and The Squeaky Wheel — Rory is obviously the conductor and the group goes by the name, The Squeaky Wheel.

  205. The girl is Seraphina.

    Obvi.

    I cannot wait for next week!! Congrats, Jenny!

  206. I think you should name the conductor Wallace Hartley. That was the guy that lead the band on the titanic as it was sinking.

  207. Congrats on the new mice. They are lovely. I think you should name the conductor Victor Pounds Fancy Mice as a tribute to Victor’s fancy math…

  208. Yanni, Kenny G and …thinking on the rest.

    There is a shop in the little downtown area near me that has a taxidermied bobcat. I think of you every time I pass by it.

  209. In reading through the comments, I see I’m not the only one to acknowledge that these are the Titanic mice. Which means that it is now fact, because it has been mentioned more than once on the internet. And while a single internet source is cause for mere speculation, two sources? Time for their own wikipedia page.

  210. I just saw Titanic in 3D and your mice remind me of the quartet that was playing as the ship was sinking (except there are 5 mice and not four) Maybe you could put a life vest on one of them? Music to die by . . . As far as names . . . Maybe British names? Alfred, Nigel, Mortimer, Sigmund, Edward, andrews, Stewart, Lizurbeth(drunk variation on Elizabeth), Abigail, or proper names like Mr Snuffalupagus, or Zombie names!!! Maybe you should name one Oprah?

  211. Okay, the maestro needs to be Benedict del Maestro (becasue that’s the first maestro name that I found on the interwebs) and I think the one in the gown should be named Josephine. It’s one of my favorite names, and Josephines are classy ladies who would play in an orchestra and wear ball gowns.

  212. The Jackson 5: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael…I’m sure Michael wouldn’t mind wearing a red sequin jacket.

  213. I’ve been itching to name something “Barbacoa Taco”

    Like a horse.

    Or a dead mouse.

  214. I used to have a hooded rat named Maurice. So I’m going with that.

  215. I think the female must be Camilla Cheddar. That’s both royal and British!

    They really are awesome!

  216. The one in the middle reminds me of my grandpa, so I suggest you name him Garth.

  217. For some reason, I strongly feel the conductor mouse is “Alejandro.”

  218. These mice are too distinguished to not have names that sound like a grandparents. I’m going with Reginald for a male mouse and Gertrude for the one getting the dress.

  219. Pretty sure you should just name them all after Victor and things he loves, as a type of ‘you know they’re awesome now, *you’re welcome*’

    or Rose. Name the girl Rose. (Not after Titanic. After Dr Who.)

    Oh shit. You need an animal to be ‘The Doctor’.

  220. The girl mouse, well the one you’re making the gown for, should be “Celestina”. It works as a high class orchestra name and it also works as a great cabaret name for her nights off from the symphony.

  221. You should name the conductor “Victor.” Then your Victor will be so flattered and pleased that he will gladly help you gather enough change to make up 150 pounds.

  222. Ok so the group is called the knights….
    1. the female is Shelby Consergo and she has a love for fine art and long walks in the park.
    2. Horatio McCool grew up on the hard streets of Dublin and only his only possession was his Sax which kept him fed many a night.
    3. Bad boy Juan Vazkez fought his way to America with grit, determination, and a lot of hard knocks.
    4. Sylvestro Carolla named after his father the famous Mafia Boss from New Orleans, he live a quiet southern life on a country farm playing his flute for the cows. His father never approved..
    5. Victor Oswald has always enjoyed being boss, so when the opportunity to become a conductor arose he jumped on it. Finally earning his families approval.

  223. The sax player needs to be Clarence – I miss that guy so much, and then he can be the token white black mouse in the band.

    And – your book comes out next week, and the week after that it will be on a plane with me traveling to France – I’m soooo excited! I can’t wait -for the book, and the trip!

  224. I definitely think one of them should be named Victor. And one should be named Bob. The girl needs to be Nancy Drew. 🙂 I got nothin’ for the other two.

  225. I’m going to suggest Zephyr. Zep for short.

    That picture is WAY too much of a sausage fest. Glad you’re putting a dress on Esmerelda (my other name suggestion).

  226. I vote for naming them after the musicians on the Titanic who played while the ship sank. Of course there were 8 members of the orchestra so you need 3 more mice.
    William Hartley – bandmaster
    WT Brailey
    Roger Bricoux
    JF Clarke
    JL Hume
    G Krins
    PC Taylor
    JW Woodward

  227. Well I pre-ordered your book about three months ago, but then I heard that the audio version has “hilarious outtakes” and decided I could not live without the audio book as well :-). I’m thinking that, because your stuffed animals obviously suffer from Victor’s racist tendancies Pride and Prejumice would make a good band name 🙂

  228. OF COURSE this is clearly Reepicheep and The Narnians. Because who is the bravest, most valiant mouse? And what are you going to name a stuffed lion if you ever get one? Yeah. I think you know the answer.

  229. I think you should name him Francesco Paoli. Francesco Paoli is the drummer for Fleshgod Apocalypse, and. Think he’d be seriously honoured to have a taxidemied orchestral mouse as a namesake. At least I’d be stoked to have a mouse namesake, so I can’t imagne why he wouldn’t be too 😉

  230. The Whiskertail Quartet Featuring The Song Stylings of Carlotta LaStrange.

  231. Debussy. Definitely Debussy. Or, Ives. These mice just beg to have composer names. 🙂

  232. Colin, Nigel, Alistair, Imogen, and Fred the Conductor. Who’s getting a spinoff, clearly.

  233. Johann Mouse, get it? Like Johann Strauss – but for a mouse?
    Or I used to have a pet rat that I named Bob Villa. You could go with that…

  234. I agree with an earlier comment – they’re clearly playing jazz. Or maybe show tunes. How about Judy (Garland) or Liza (Minelli) for the one in the evening gown?

  235. One of them is dying to be “Victor” of course…or perhaps…”Victoria”

  236. I totally think they are street mice from the Big Easy – playing for dollars in the French Quarter – so my names are : Gustav, Gaston, Armand, Alphonse, and Evangeline –

  237. Dame Elizabeth and the Mad Hatters. Of course they need cool hats!

    Alyssa p.

  238. How about Earl Grey for the conductor? Earl Grey and the Twinings. 🙂

    Congrats on the book. I can’t wait for my copy. I’m sure I will stay up all night giggling and be done by morning. I’ll try to pace myself.

  239. victor 1.0, victor 2.0, etc…that way when you talk to them, it will be super confusing for victor 0.0. he’ll think you are talking to him, but really you will be conversing with your mousechestra. the fact that i assume you will talk to your dead mice is disturbing, but i know i would…

  240. I haven’t read all the comments, so please excuse me if there is repetition here. This entry made me internet search “mice in history” (who knew there is so much to know about this!), and I found the following at http://www.afrma.org/rminfo4b.htm:

    “The First Fancy
    It was during the 1700s that the mouse fancy really got its start. In Japan they were increasing in popularity not just as pets but as breeding animals, and many people were experimenting with producing new colors. In 1787 a booklet called The Breeding Of Curious Varieties Of The Mouse was written by Chobei Zenya, a Kyoto money exchanger. This booklet included a number of drawings, descriptions of several breeding programs, recipes for creating specific colors, and mention of a number of varieties. These included Albino, Black, Black-Eyed White, Champagne, Chocolate, Lilac, and Recessive Spotting.”

    In honor of the first fancy mice I nominate Champagne, Lialac and Recessive Spotting. For the final two in the chamber music quintet, it seems appropriate that one is Chobei Zenya, and reading further in the article, the last should be Walter Maxey, “father of the mouse fancy” and founder of the National Mouse Club in Britian.

    I have to say, though, I’m also inclined toward the name of the owner of the first winning mouse at the National Mouse Club’s original show, Ursula Dickinson, or even her mouse, Dutch Even.

    Fancy mice, historical reference, interesting names – what’s not to love, and seemingly appropriate for your latest taxidermied acquisition.

  241. This made me laugh until I cried. If these conversations with Victor are made up, kudos to your imagination. If they are real, congratulations on an awesome relationship!

  242. Sixel. Son of Fievel. During his brief rebellious “rock fiddle” phase he temporarily went by “Syxel”, but he’s back to Sixel now.

  243. Leisl and the Von Trapp Quartet?

    Or, you know, the Ratson Five. Which is just wrong.

  244. I have 4 boys and my Hubby picked out names that were nixed for the birthcertificates… Although they were creative… I couldn’t possibly torture my children for the rest of their lives… If you were to pick his names…he would be ever so immortilized… 🙂 1. Gunter Boltov 2. Ruteger Poindexter 3. Shango Bunny and 4. Shafter Antwone. (They turned out Adam, Gage, Ethan, and Seth..all perfectly good names too).

  245. I say they are the Von Trapps…

    Moustopher Von Trapp
    Mousereen Von Trapp (the one in the dress to be obviously)
    Mousebert Von Trapp
    Mousey Von Trapp
    Hank Von Trapp (the baby)

  246. Well the lead mouse should be called Mice-tro for sure! Congrats on your book!

  247. The boys…(all sausage varieties)
    Weisswurst, Lap Cheong, Landjager, and Haggis Von Helwig

    The girl…
    Susan Boyle

  248. If you like the classics than as a group call them “Die Fliedermaus”

  249. I can only offer the name Julio Quintas because it’s really fun to say.

  250. I think at least one should be a Sir. Commanding presence demands a sir! So Sir Cunningham. Or something equally British. I think they are all British. Except for the yank playing the sax, he’s from Louisiana. He adds the pep, and randomly plays the blues. Rebel.

  251. Although I think making a tiny ball gown for the mouse is cool, is the mouse you’re putting it on actually a girl mouse? If not, you might be facing years of bills for mouse therapy for a mouse who’ll now have issues with gender identity disorder.

    Make sure you make her dress red just like yours; and when it’s done have Victor take of photos of the two of you all dressed up.

  252. YOu should go with niles, giles, and miles and then name the girl one regina (mainlybecause the british pronounce it like vagina) the last one you should call crumpet because at least one of them should have a not so stuffy name

    have a great day!!

  253. Newburger, Terrance, Bastian, Michelina, & Eric.

    And remind Victor that he should really be grateful that you fancy celebration mice & not celebration bison.

  254. CLEARLY the mouse with a sax is Kenny G. Because a sax doesn’t really belong in an orchestra, and Kenny G doesn’t really belong ANYWHERE (even if he is always showing up to parties, like that time he showed up at my birthday party…*shudders*. Oh, wait. That was Katy Perry’s party.)

  255. One should be called Rambo, just to help offset all the daintiness in the orchestra.

  256. Leo or Bernie – – short for Leonard Bernstein. American. If you went with Bernie, you could turn him into a her quite easily. I actually did know a woman named Leo once. STG. She wasn’t very friendly. Maybe she didn’t like her name. She had white hair. And was old. I guess I just talked myself into favoring Bernie. You don’t want your female dead mouse to go through the rest of her non-life hating her name.

  257. I am quite sure that the, soon to be dressed in a dress, mouse should be named Olivia.

  258. Myrtle’s Mousechestra of Fun! They play furiously….or furiosly…take your pick!

  259. There are so many worse things in life that you could be purchasing! Victor should be pleased that it’s only dead mice playing instruments. And again, remind him that it’s not towels… As far as names go, I love names that mean something and, in this case, I have chosen names that all mean some form of white (bright, brilliant, light). They are as follows:

    (conductor) Cuthbert (means brilliant)
    (the rest) Finnegan (white)
    Luis (Light)
    Kent (White, bright)
    and Colina (means girl)

    I so love naming things!! LOL! Good luck with your search and I hope that I win!!

  260. At least two of them should be Benjy and Frankie from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!

  261. Xavier is a fantastic name for a Fancy Mous-ic Conductor. I am going to treat myself and buy your book. It will be my red dress. Thank you for being furiously happy.

  262. I propose naming the Conductor Milquetoast Mousington. Everyone knows conductors are boring. And wield big sticks.

  263. I literally cannot read a post of yours without laughed so hard my stomach hurts. I don’t watch reality tv but if you made a show I would.

  264. So. ONE of them HAS to be named The Doctor. Because they are wearing bow ties and as you know, bowties are cool. You so need to find and/or make a little fez to put on the one named the doctor. And a mini banana. Because you should always bring a banana to a party.

    I love them. If I weren’t kind of freaked out by taxidermied small animals I would totally start my own collection. Instead I’ll stick to Monster High Dolls and one day maybe I’ll have the courage to start my own taxidermied army.

  265. Is that a trombone or trumpet straight back? He looks like a Mr. Smythe to me.

  266. Algernon.
    Tell me someone besides me had to read Flowers for Algernon in English class!

    Also, lady mouse is Victoire. Named after the Harry Potter character who was in turn named after the French word for victory.
    So in a roundabout way it’s naming her “victory”…aka, “whoo, I bought five taxidermied mice online! I win! VICTORY!”
    Also it sounds like Victor so when people visit you can go “please, look at Victoire” and when Victor goes “I think they see me” you can go “geez, Victor, I was talking about the mouse!”

  267. I think the girly mouse could be a Yolanda.

    The boys could be Victor, Victor, Victor, and Victor. Honor that Husband, Yo’.

  268. Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuevro, and Bailey (for the girl mouse, obv). Because those mice look like they are drunking!

  269. Hmmm. Tough one. I work in a lab with mice so I might call them…. The specimen quartet featuring band leader Mouse Davis.

  270. Englebert. There simply are not enough mice named Englebert anymore.

  271. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, plus three other obscure Shakesperean names. Or, since you’ve got five, name ’em for the Jacksons!

  272. Algernon Chauncey and Eurethra Trixie for two. Those are some of the names my parents told people they were naming unborn babies back in the day.

  273. If you make a ball gown for the one you could call her Vermina.

    If you get tired of the genteel look and want to change it up, give them guitars, make them punk outfits and Mohawks and call them Hanta Virus. I mean, how perfect is that name for a punk band? “We….are…HANTA VIRUUUSSSSSS!”

  274. The most famous of the mice in your orchestra is Mabel. She was a solo act until directed to become part of an orchestral quintet after a particularly dark Tarot Card reading.

  275. My mouse’s name is Hazel, but she’s brown and not dead yet, so she’s probably not a good inspiration for names. I have to say, though, that the saxaphonist’s name clearly should by Cyril. It just is.

  276. Pachelbel, Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, and Bach. But mostly Pachelbel, because come on! You could nickname him Pocky!!!

  277. I like the name Pumpernickel for the conductor. Pumpernickel and the Limburgers..?

    No. Pumpernickel and the Grevé’s..?

    NO. Pumpernickel and the Yorkshire Blues. Fancy, British mice.

    Or just the Yorkshire Blues. 😀

  278. The group should totally be called the Fancy Five! – and the individual names must be Frederick, Fabrizio, Fabrice, Fabio, and Falala….. to keep with the “F” trend 🙂 Congrats on the Oprah review!! Counting down the days – can’t wait!!

  279. The Grateful Dead Mice! Oh and congrats on your Oprah review! I’m counting the days until I get my copy! 🙂

  280. Oh look! It’s Lord Broderick von Wheaton and the Wine-Slushee Quartet!

  281. Sir Fernando C. Bompane Von Fagga Woppa (the orchestra leader. He looks like a sir)

  282. all I know is that the evening gown must be RED… and the wearer is Her Ladyship Godiva Incognito.

    I’m terrible at this, but I hope to win. Random, right? 😉

  283. Winston. Definitely one of those mice should be a Winston. Also, I like the name Doc for the one that looks like “Doc.” You know, that one.

  284. I think they should be called Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Chopin and Bob. Because, there always need to be a Bob.

  285. Parsley, Sage, Rosemary (the one with the future evening gown), and Thyme. Oh, and the conductor is most definitely Frankincense.

  286. Well the one you are about to put a dress on should obviously be called Eunice.

  287. Calliope Mactavish, musical prodigy, struggling to find her way in the competitive world of classically trained quartets.

  288. Well, I’m kind of a sentimental sap today (my great aunt died) and I was thinking…

    Willena, Delores, Donald, Gordon, Victor. (As a group, they could be the Jochims Jazz Quintet.)

    These are the names of my grandmother and her siblings. The aunt who passed away today (Carol) was married to Victor, and now Victor is the only one left alive of the group. I find it would both confuse my grandma as to why I would have mice named after them – and yet she’d understand. People in those days DID dig up bodies, so a few taxidermied mice shouldn’t faze her.

    If you only need one female name, the girls were often shortened to Lena or Dee, so you could play with those.

    I’m a pretty bad sentimentalist.

  289. Dress one in a bathrobe like The dude and call it…. The Big Le-Mouse-ki.

  290. Really, they name themselves.

    The Mouseketeers (why does that sound familiar?)

    Athos
    Pathos
    D’Artagnan
    Aramouse
    Milady de Winmouse (after you put the one on the right in a dress)

  291. Well, I was looking for a mouse with a violin in there, but didn’t see one. Looks like a Brass band with silver brass, so maybe you should call the group “The Silver Brassketeers”
    Now, on to naming the director/conducter: Serge Mouskousseviteky
    pronouncing the first name (seir-hay)

  292. Congratulations on the book! I think the one on the right looks like a “Valencia”… “Valencia Snufflebottoms.”

  293. The one who’ll eventually earn a dress should be the Lady Edelmira Contraviola Stuart. The others are clearly her ne’er-do-well brothers Littleton, Blogginton, and Stuart.

  294. one of the mice’s names could be Fancy. Fancy, the fancy mouse. Here’s your one chance, Fancy, don’t let me down. (a la Reba)

  295. No, they’re British. Clive, Stanley, Morris and George… collectively known as the Furberry Quartet. George is a drag queen.

  296. We shall call him George, and we will love him and squeeze him

    Alternatively, Timmy, who can be rescued from the well

    Steve Maustin, Mouse Barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic mouse. Steve Maustin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

  297. I believe they should all have names that are actually rodent-spread diseases, but sound very fancy with the addition/subtraction of a letter or two:
    Salmonello
    Tularemi
    Favuso
    Hantaviria
    and
    Stu. just cause.

  298. For the soon-to-be-female/trans mouse: Iona Fern

    Don’t ask me why… I know it has nothing to do with mice or cheese. It’s just two vintage names that I sandwiched together. I’m ashamed at my own punny-ness, but once I got the name in my head I couldn’t think of anything else I liked nearly as much!

  299. My submission(s):
    Paul N. Oates (Trombone)
    Lafayette Darjeeling or William William William “The Repeater” (The Conductor)
    Ichabod “Sticky Icky” Flechman (Sax)
    Sterling Pennywhistle (French Horn)
    and for the gal – Mango Fanbottom or Gold Lame (Flute, I’m guessing here because I can’t see but thought it would be funny and an homage to American Pie.)

  300. The ‘to be’ female mouse to the right has a proper name of Maybelline Mayweather but all her friends call her May May.

  301. The sax player ought to be called Josephine. That way you can make a suit and a dress in honor of Tony Curtis.

  302. I love them and think there should be an Elliott and a Newman in the orchestra!

  303. Please call at least one of them the Sydney Opera Mouse. Plese don’t judge me, I’m Australian.

  304. Leonardo. That seems like a fitting name for a fancy mouse. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to buy a copy of the audiobook if I don’t win…out-takes? That sounds like epic awesomeness!

  305. Fernando, I see a tiny sombrero

    Congratulations on all your much deserved success!

  306. Naming all stuffed animals after dead presidents has served me well….so I think Theodore Roosevelt is a fantastic name! 🙂

  307. The one you will put in the dress should be Veruca.

    Also, I really think ethically taxidermied mice aren’t getting their due. Did you see “Dinner for Schmucks”? Even though Steve Carrell was portrayed as an idiot, those mouse mises-en-scene were spectacular.

  308. The conductor should be named Alfonze Chesery III and the girl mouse I would call Olivia Newtown Get Down.

  309. Jenny’s Famed Mouse Orchestra

    – continuous engagements since dead mice don’t need sleep

    LMAO

  310. Ingrid would be the one conducting (once her evening gown in finished). Some classy broad has to keep those musician-mice in line! Group name… clearly “Wine and Cheese.” It has class, humor, snacks and booze!

  311. They’re awesome! Cover of your next book! Johann, Sebastian, Ludwig, Leopoldo, and Gaga von Teese.

  312. I will share my incognito name with the mouse-who-will-wear-the-evening-gown:

    Frizonia Hunkendunken

    You’re welcome.

    Does that make me his/her godmother?

  313. Dear Bloggess,
    Sooooo….my husband’s been out of work for about two years and while he just started up a bread-making racket, I think I’m going to have him shift to a taxidermied critter making racket because it just dawned on me that if he takes all the bodies left over from our brain-eating zombie cat’s meals and stuffs, dresses, and poses them then puts them on the internet, you’ll buy them and we’ll be living large.
    Man, I love this world.

  314. Wait, a saxophone, flute and violin? And they need a conductor? WTF kind of orchestra is this?

    What about Itzak Perlmouse for the violinist, James Galmouse for the flautist, and John Colmouse on sax?

  315. I love your math!! I do the same thing, and my husband has termed it “Julia Math”. Best part is that is always works in my favor”

  316. Can your soon to be saxamaphone playing girl-mouse be Penelope? I can easily picture a “Penny” playing sax.

  317. I asked for this same piece of taxidermy for my birthday and now my b-day dreams are shattered 🙁 They were going to play songs for my “Quacks the Ripper” piece – a little duck wearing a top hat while holding a knife and the head of another duck. It’s more tasteful than it sounds.

    A name… Miss Yvonne for the lady mouse. Sounds classy and it pays tribute to Pee Wee Herman.

  318. I asked for this same piece of taxidermy for my birthday and now my b-day dreams are shattered 🙁 They were going to play songs for my “Quacks the Ripper” piece – a little duck wearing a top hat while holding a knife and the head of another duck. It’s more tasteful than it sounds.

    A name… Miss Yvonne for the lady mouse. Sounds classy and it pays tribute to Pee Wee Herman.

  319. Winston and the Winos, with the special vocal talents of Theodora DeGuda…

    Get it, Wine & Cheese? Hahahhaha, I only make myself laugh..

  320. i think one should be named Benedict Cumberbatch, because that dude has the most awesome name in the universe

    and if you do get a dress for the one mouse: name her Carmelita Pope

  321. Mildred
    Otto
    Ursula
    Semus
    Ethel

    As a complete group they are M.O.U.S.E

    Just put the boy ones in dresses lol.

  322. Patch Euclid Farnsworth, the one playing the flute on the left.
    Franny Elizabeth Applesmith, the one you’ll be putting an evening gown on.

  323. With so many comments, it’s probably been suggested…but…

    Moustzart

  324. Wolfgang Amadeus Mouzart!
    HAHA I love them and all their dead musicallity.

  325. I agree with you on the sausage party. The girl mouse’s name is Eugenia. I’m pretty sure about that.

  326. I’ve totally made the same mistake of buying something and then realizing it’s in pounds. Oops? haha

    And I don’t know why but I definitely think that the saxophone player should be named Hermes. Seems dapper or something. :oD

  327. Congrats! Can’t wait to read the book! As for a name, how about the Mousical Mice Orchestra. I’m not good at clever names.

  328. They are totally the Hum Ding Swingers. Alphonse, Mary, George, Pepe, and Victor. Oops, or perhaps Stanislav

  329. MIss Pinky Pants, Theodore Roosevelt, Sir Jose Quixote (because really, they’re an inclusive band, like all good mice should be), Eadweard Muybridge (his mother named him for a scientist who studied animal movement, and created the Zoopraxiscope), and finally Mister Jingles the conductor.

    I’m breathlessly awaiting my copy of your book, which I prepaid for the minute you put it up for us! I’m so excited!

  330. I think you should name them after the band members that were on the Titanic…seems appropriate since they are all dead anyways. The band itself didn’t have a formal name, but they all had cool names like Brailey, Hartley, Bricoux, Clarke, Krins, etc.

  331. Elgar, Webber, Milford, Wallace and Wilson (all English Composers- gotta keep their heritage)

  332. Sherrinford – I’ve always loved the name. It was a candidate for a certain detective’s name stead, instead the author chose the one we have now, Sherlock Holmes. I’d like to name my future children such queer names, but I fear I’d be murdered in my sleep. What a thought.

  333. Bettina and the Victors (Bettina is the female mouse)
    This is flattering to Victor because it proves you care enough to name not one, but four mice after him. Plus it proves you were right because these mice are winners.

  334. Yea, My first time commenting! My name isn’t going to compare to many, but as I would love a copy of your audio-book, Imma put myself out there 🙂 I think you should name them The Mischevious Seven. Love your blog!

  335. I think Fitzgerald is a classy name for a taxidermied mouse fella in an orchestra! Unless its for the lady mouse and then I think she should be called Ella…. They all feel very british to me! 😉 American mice dont usually join quartets… They just lie around scratching themselves mostly 😉

  336. Donna and the Dynamice (the one you’re dressing in the evening gown is Donna, of course).

  337. The diatonic tails.
    Treble, Alto, Tenor, Bass and the soon to be ball gown wearing Caesura.

    I think I have some extra British pounds around somewhere. Let me know if you want ’em… or if you just want me to buy my copy of the book in pounds to do you a solid. Either way works.

  338. Oops just realized someone already put Percival….so I will go with Helios

  339. I think the conductor mouse should be Mouthoven (pronounced like Beethoven but with mou not mouth oven). And who doesn’t want celebratory mice? Gosh victor!

  340. Individual Mice:
    Yo Yo Meow (because naming a mouse something with “meow” is just funny)
    Squeakbox
    Nigel
    Cupcake
    Caboodles
    Reginald

    Ensemble:
    Here Kitty, Kitty

  341. Definitely need to name the one playing the sax Cletus. A much under-appreciated name.

  342. Since it’s a British sausage-fest my mind goes to the Earl of Bangers Quartet featuring Lady Smythe-Jay-jay.

  343. The sax player’s name should be Scoots McGee and the trombone player looks like a Montague

  344. Amadeus
    Elizabeth Victoria Rose for the one you are going to put in a dress.

  345. The Moustro should be called “Sir Frederick von MouseWeazel”

  346. I think the conductor mouse should be Mouthoven (pronounced like Beethoven but with mou not mouth oven). And who doesn’t want celebratory mice!? Gosh victor!

  347. Flemming, Arthur, Rosealind, and Victor (I bet if you name one of the mice after him, he’ll totally warm up to them and let you keep them)

    I also wonder if the mice are good enough musicians to convince the cats not to eat them. Or have your cats already attempted to eat enough taxidermied critters that they understand the concept now?

  348. The String Cheese Quartet featuring the conducting styling of one Sir Pepper Jack McQuack who is so very gouda.

  349. Veronica. you know…once she has a ballgown and we can tell she’s a Veronica. it might need to be a red ballgown, really. you know…because sometimes Veronica needs to feel pretty. and red dresses do that.

  350. I propose Jerome, Aloysius, Ghislain, Siegfried, and Smitty. If one’s a girl, she could be Mindy.

  351. Svetlana, daughter of Vlenko
    Blair, son of Ross
    Greer, son of William
    Dirk, son of Klaus
    Donovan, son of Seamus

    You too have the funniest conversations

  352. The conductor is Lawrence (as in Lawrence Welk of course!). I LOVE THEM and would gladly contribute to their purchase!!!

  353. The director mouse should be Vanessa – because my kids’ band director’s name was Vanessa and then I can tell her that I had a mouse named after her. Which will remind her of the time my son brought 2 mice and a gerbil on a band trip and hid them in the bathroom on the bus. That’ll make her happy there are no longer any kids of mine in band. So, you’ll be making a band director happy!

    Preordered your book on Friday. CANNOT wait until it arrives!

  354. personally, I think Victor makes a valid point… about you being crazy and all. however that’s pretty much obvious now, and I’m still going to play your ‘name the mice’ game …. 😀

    my feeble contribution is…. Little Mike and the Four White Mice of the Apocalypse

  355. 1. Bogart
    2. Wayne
    3. Stanley
    4. Sir bumpkiss
    5. amanda hugnkiss (in honor that it’s officially a cross dressing mouse)

  356. Call me crazy, but I think the trombone player should be Sweet Acidophilus.

  357. Martin Merganser-Jones, for sure. Thanks for the chance to win this audiobook! I’m so excited!

  358. Umberto. You must name one of the mice Umberto. Preferably the one who will be donning a dress.

  359. Well, there are clearly at least two Daves in that group (as there are in any group). You can call one Dave-o and one Davey, to tell them apart in company. Aside from the Daves, you have Wolfgang (the conductor), Freidric and Philomena. They are called Wolf’s Gang.

  360. Ron, Fred, George, Charlie and Bill. Not Percy, he was an asshole. Or feel free to substitute Ginny for the one in a dress.

  361. I suppose Mickey and Minnie is far too obvious, so I submit Benjamin. Benjamina for the soon-to-be fancy female rodenta.

  362. Can we give the director a wig, go with the whole 3 blind mice thing and call him Ray Snarles and then give the rest of them a schnazzy group name?

  363. The band should be named the Squeak-easy Trio. They are directed by Louie Pawstrong, and the lady mouse listening to them is Named Daisy Mousanan.

  364. I think the girl should be Margaret Thatcher (unless you already have a Margaret Thatcher. I feel like I need a directory of all your dead animals).

  365. I don’t have any clever or fancy pants names. I pretty much just always want to call things Rupert. I have no idea why.

  366. The conductor should definitely get to be the dress-wearer and she should be named Sheila as she is Australian and all females from Australia are named Sheila.

  367. I think they should all have gang names, or maybe something biker-ish. Like, big bubba brown. Or, crazy, one eye JoJo. Definitely something macho!

  368. Oh, I have lots of ideas!

    The conductor mouse should be Mel Brooks (I just saw Young Frankenstein on stage and it was amazing, and Mel Brooks NEEDS TO BE IMMORTALIZED VIA A TAXIDERMIED MOUSE!)
    the french horn mouse’s gotta be Igor (pronounced EYE-GORE) the Humpless
    the sax mouse could be Moody-George the Boogy-maker
    The trombone mouse should be Alfredo von Lichtenstein
    I can’t tell what the mouse in the back right is playing, so I’ll good with “Baby-in-the-Corner Got Back”

    I forgot my meds two days in a row if it explains things….

  369. Thelonious Mouse Quartet with Ella Fitzrodent
    Miles
    Benny
    Louis
    Thaddeus
    Fats
    Parker
    Dinah
    Billie
    Bix
    Herbie
    Maynard
    Thad
    Ira

  370. Well, an obvious name would be Victor. You could be more subtle and go with Victoria. Or even Queen Victoria because they are Brits.

  371. I think you should name one of the mice Tubman… After harriet tubman… just to assert that you are NOT racist.

  372. For the girl, I’m thinking Esmerelda. Just ’cause I’ve always liked that name but it seems way too much of a handle for a human. But a mouse could definitely carry it.

  373. #1 I love you
    #2 I hate mice … even taxidermied ones
    #3 Name it Spike … Because well…. its easy to remember
    #4 I may not have had enough sleep

  374. John Wesley Woodward
    Georges Alexandre Krins
    Theodore Ronald Brailey
    Percy Cornelius Taylor
    John Fredrick Preston Clarke

    Some of the members of the Orchestra on the Titanic.
    These mice seem just as committed to continuing to play as they did.

  375. Bartholemew Von Brie
    Oliver Camembert de Normandie
    Vincent Boccachini
    Constance Roquefort
    and
    Astrid Asiago

    and their band is the Fromaggi Orchestra

  376. I’m partial to Franc von Schnizzle for the dapper mouse with the tiny tense shoulders. I also think Darla would be a lovely first name for the lady mouse in the formal wear. Darla’s musband (mouse husband) Theo is the conductor with family ties to one of the cats living in the barn. (It was a drunken night of debauchery for Theo’s great-grandfather – the only black sheep of the family.)

    Darla and Franc are having an illicit affair, which is why Franc is so tense. Franc is torn between job security or confessing his forever love in a grand, sweeping gesture.

    Franc doesn’t know that Theo is planning a once-in-a-lifetime gig. In the barn. For Franc.
    It will be a great tragedy for the Classy Mice Orchestra.

  377. Also, in reading through some of the previous suggestions, I’m reminded ~ yet again ~ how very unclever I am. Thanks everyone.

  378. That french horn player looks like a Bernard.

    Sax player: Aloysius
    Trombone: Ludwig
    Conductor: Stas
    I can’t tell what the one in the back is playing: Gwawr

  379. 1. Lola
    2. Leopold
    3. Friedrich
    4. Alonso (“Allons’y, Alonso!”)
    5. Xavier

  380. I’m going with:
    Chesterfield
    Rory
    Lord Fancybottom
    Bob (pronounced “Rupert”)
    and Imogen

  381. “$8 bucks a leg” is all it took for me to start laughing so loud the neighbours are looking in my window.

  382. I think the crossdressing mouse should be Altunia Debonair (clearly a stage name). I also think the mouse in the center should be named Willoughby. He looks like he might be the timid member of the ensemble. I feel like Willoughby would a sweet guy, but his generosities might be taken advantage of at times. Especially by Altunia, because she can be a bit of a bitch, but really it’s to cover up her insecurities.

  383. Victor sure has narrow and racist views about what constitutes a pet. 😛 For naming you’re new menagerie….the one playing the saxaphone should be John “Cheese” (as in Cleese) Coltraine.

  384. Post #39, for sure. Can’t wait to see you at your Austin booksigning! I am flying home especially to visit you at BookPeople. My Mom didn’t quite understand my reasoning, but I plan to convert her to reading your blog very soon. She is VERY partial to side-of-the-highway Mexican yard art.

  385. i like eleanor borthwick. It very british. say it out loud in a brit accent, it rolls off the tonguec. At first you think old eleanor is pompous, but feed her some booze, and she is the life of any party!

  386. It is apparently (from left to right):
    Benny Goodmouse
    John Coltail
    Louis Nosestrong
    Dizzy Gillescheese
    Ella Fitzsqueak

  387. the monkees- as in the musical tv group, those boys could play anything. Girl mouse is Marsha(brady) davy’s best groupy

  388. I would name mine Count Fuzzbert von Twinklepants… or Michael Jackson.

  389. Okay, the one on the right, which I assume is a girl since you want to put her in a dress…unless its a Transgender mouse…but I think not. Should be named Lady Cheesenip. Her fellow mice should be Lords and their band should be called Lady Cheesenip and the Fancy Four.

  390. Adelbert, Eugene, Percival, Alejandro, and Persephone (for the girl that’s getting an evening gown!)

  391. The one you’re making a gown for tells me her name is Delilah. She also tells me that her back up group are Rodney, Rupert, and Reginald or The Three Rs as she likes to refer to them. Rather condescendingly unfortunately. I think the fact she stands in the front has gone to her head.

  392. Well, Itzhak Perlmouse is obviously the name of one of them.

    Mischa Elmouse, also nice…

  393. probably not original, but John, Paul, George, Ringo and that other guy…. Bob.

  394. I think you should name the band The Holy Shit, Are Those Mice? Philharmonic.

  395. You’re right, one of them definitely needs to be a girl, and I second Ivanka for her name. Alistair, Livingston, Basil, and Colin for the rest. Quite Britishy. : )

  396. Clearly you have to name one of the mice Barnabus because, obviously, they are back from the dead and who knows, one of them might be an emo vampire waiting to suck the life out of you. And since they are musicians you should probably name one of them Spielberg in honor of a certain boat movie with musicians that played to their death. Even though you have a conductor with a jazz band which I find fucking ridiculous.

  397. You are so wonderful Bloggess of delight. I have you saved on my favourites because I know you will never fail to brighten my day. I’ve had a horrible day full of bad news and crying and you made me smile because you are wonderful and make me feel like I’m not the only crazy person out there. Thank you. Please name your lady mouse something classy. How about Gladys? That’s pretty darn classy if you ask me. I love naming things. I called my iPhone Beryl because she felt left out whenever I synced her with Humphrey the laptop and started misbehaving on me. Names make things love you. Tally ho Gladys, begin your medley of 40s jazz hits!

  398. Where is the fun in just naming one??? I say there needs to be a theme, such as Tyra, Gisele, Iman, Twiggy, and Elle. Or rather, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, David Lee Roth, Mick Jagger, and Meatloaf! (and while these 5 are all males, they do have some pretty hair!)

  399. Might I suggest Brunswick? Other suggestions: Sir Fastidivious, Flynn Quartzmanship, Princess Reginald, and Phil.

  400. I say the one in playing the flute looks a lot like a “Delores.”

  401. Tim – unassuming, just like a mouse that plays in an orchastra (also like the wizard in Monty Python and the Holy Grail).

  402. This is so unoriginal but all I can think of whenever someone asks for a name is Steve. So there you go. It’s an orchestra full of Steve’s! What a coincidence!

  403. Its the “Rodent Symphony Orchestra,’ conducted by Gertrude von Schnitzel (Hamlet’s wife). She’s a brilliant musician and conductor while his passion and dreams revolve around the written word.

  404. I think the name of the group should be “Bernadette’s Hooting Horns”

    They’re all playing horns and I think the female should be the leader 🙂

  405. Clearly, here are the names of mice who belong to a 5-piece mouse band, especially if you drag one up in a dress:

    Millicent
    Billingsworth
    Alistair
    Ferdinand
    Jeff

    Jeff was a last minute replacement for the original member, Ludwig von Snootenhausen.

  406. Ferdinand. He’s the one on the back right. I don’t know how I know. I just know.

  407. It should be ‘Stone Gossard’, because he is clearly the best musician ever and he doesn’t have a mouse named after him yet. That I know of.

  408. The one who get the evening gown is begging to be named Victor/Victoria! I can’t wait for your book – I know it is only a little over a week away, but I am dying to read it!

    Wendy

  409. Prince William and the Fancy Pants Quartet
    consisting of:
    Constance
    Peter
    Paul
    Jack
    And Prince William conducting

  410. Clearly they are the spitting image of Monty Python in mouse form. (You can tell they are performing a sketch about musicians, right?) Therefore, they are:
    Eric Idle-Mouse
    Michael-Mouse Palin
    John Cheese
    Graham Chapmouse
    and the girl can be Terry Jones, because that’s a gender neutral name.

  411. For some reason I think the one on the right and in the rear should be Wagner, which according to my husband should be Vagner, but what do I know.

  412. I can’t explain it, but I think the one with the trombone is a Howard.

  413. OMG Jenny, you are too awesome for words! I wish I could think of some clever names, I’ve seen some pretty good ones in the comments here! I think you should name the girl mouse some “mouse” variation of Amanda F***ing Palmer.

  414. The sax player should be Jasper. He is from KY and had always dreamt of fleeing poverty and hilljackism (new word) in the hills of Kentucky to become a famous sax player. He had made it to the UK for his first interantional concert when he was stepped on by a bloody English bloke!

  415. At the risk of being cliche, I would name them after famous jazz musicians that play their instruments:
    Dave (Brubeck) could be the conductor, and then John (Coltrane, saxophone), Miles (Davis, trumpet), Herbie (Hancock, flute), Dennis (Brain) horn. I know they’re all men, but this is the world we live in. And it would also make it even funnier when you put them each in a dress.

  416. It’s almost the 100th anniversary of the whole Titanic debacle, so it MIGHT be considered appropriate (and not at all offensive) to name them in honour of the gents who kept playing while Leo and Rose ran to the bow of the ship… plus they all have awesome, fancy names:
    Wallace Hartley
    John Wesley Woodward
    John Frederick Preston Clarke
    Percy Cornelius Taylor
    Georges Alexandre Krins
    Theodore Ronald Brailey

  417. Name one Jax, because I’d love to be able to one day tell my son there is a famous taxidermied internet mouse named after him!

  418. After spending way too much time reviewing comments, I can’t believe no one suggested the obviously perfect band name…..”The Pipsqueaks”

  419. If that mouse in the back is a flutist it clearly needs a dress. The flute players are always female. Also? name here Jezebelle. They’re adorable by the way. Although I’m 99.99% sure I personaly wouldn’t have bought them. my cats would probably get pissesd.

  420. I think a good name for them would be… Manny Mouseman, and the Mystic Knights of Rodentia.

    *nod*

  421. I think they should work under the group name “the Kent White Wind Combo”

  422. wellington. I have been suggesting this name to everyone and no one has taken it yet!

  423. Shelly Velvet-Beavers for the girl one. Mostly because I know someone with that name who has no sense of humor and I think it’s ridiculous she hyphenated her two last names to be Velvet-Beavers.

  424. Rodney, Elisabetta, George, Sidney and John (for my friend, the conductor in South Africa).

  425. AND, while it is no shock that you were internet shopping at a place calling itself the “Taxidermy Snack Bar,” I can’t believe you didn’t get the mole with glasses and walking stick. Really? Just think of all you could save on shipping!

  426. Chancellor Nibs and his cheese biscuits! Take them on tour- they can be your opening band!

  427. Alastair, obviously the conductor
    Laird
    Piers is playing the sax, because face it, he’s pretty bad-ass.
    Hugh
    and the girl – Matilda <3

  428. I believe you have Demetrius Von Mauserton on the sax, Bartholomew Gosnoldshire on trombone, Sir Cornelius Lysander on trumpet, Willhemina Willoughby on French horn, and your conductor is Sebastian Victor Gadzooks. I could be completely incorrect though. In reality, the conductor’s real name could be Al. He seems much too distinguished for that name though.

  429. DO YOU REALIZE THE “WORLD” YOU HAVE CREATED, AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO NOW INHABIT IT WITH YOU ? ? ? ? ? ? ? (Again, hats off to Victor – he is the unsung hero/enabler/martyr/rescuer in all this. 🙂 )

  430. I think you should name. Them after lesser known composers:

    1. Hildegard von Bingen
    2. Christoph Willibald Gluck
    3. Don Carlo Gesualdo
    4.Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina
    5. Guillaume de Machaut

  431. Clark.

    I don’t need to win, already pre-ordered your book months ago and I get to meet you next week in Los Angeles.

    I’m so happy for you I have tears in my eyes. Getting a good review in Oprah’s magazine is a dream come true. Congrats, Jenny!

  432. OOOOh… my mistake. I completely mistook Willhemina Willoughby for Arpeggio Vandeviere. She’ll never forgive me now.

  433. When i was younger i worked at a local animal shelter and we had four ducklings come in to be looked after, before they were old enough to be re-released back into the wild! There were 3 Pacific ducks and a woodland duck. I was so excited as i got to name them… they were Huey, Dewey, Louie & Bob! But i never told anyone which was which, I didn’t want Bob to feel left out!

    I know you have 5 mice in your band! But my four ducks names are pretty epic! lol! And as my nephew says “Do you know why its epic? I’ll tell you why its epic… Coz its so EPIC!!!!” (got to love 7 year olds!)

    Cheers,
    Daena x

  434. Charles Aloysius Templeton Goobersnort Esq.. I named my favorite cactus this right before forgetting that they need direct sunlight and leaving it in my bathroom for a week. Don’t judge me.

  435. To name the band- The Rat Pack. And then the mice can be Humphrey, Frank, Dean, Sammy, and Marilyn for the one in the evening dress (or Lauren Bacall if you want to be more accurate).

  436. For the group: Fleetwood Mouse — ’cause then you can pretend they all got married and broke up and slept with each other and then performed on Bill Clinton’s campaign and then did solo albums that weren’t as good.

  437. I think you should name the conductor Wil, and the rest can be Simon, Penn, Matthew, and the girl Jeri.

  438. Liselle, Liza, Leslie, Luwanda, and Lou. They’re liberals from Lichtenstein. Fancy!

  439. I think the soon to be wearing a dress mouse should be named Cordelia. Then the conductor needs to be named John Phillip Mousa. I shall think on names for the rest.

  440. Penelope Pfefferneuse and the Mercurial Quartet (Penelope of course being the one with the forthcoming evening gown)

  441. Sadly…going for the obvios….once u put a gown on that sausage “Ru Paul” seems the only chice. 🙂

  442. The one in the gown needs to be Eugenia. The others can be Archibald, Sir Mousikins, Miniver, and Victor. Rock on.

  443. Les Quatre Saucisses (The Four Sausages), cuz everthing sounds fancier in French. P.S. I’m not bilingual just AWESOME at using Google translator.

  444. OMG the comments are priceless and hilarious!
    Please name the girl one Tallulah. PLEASE

  445. The Symphony Orcheestra Is conducted by Lord Baptista Minola Von Schnitzel. The girl is Bianca Katerina Hammerstein. The middle one should be Lucentio Cambio Banderas the Fourth. The one behind the girl should be Petruchio Vincent Gaiman Kai’ckul. The saxophone player should be William Jefferson the third.

    Explanation for the names:
    Most of the names come from Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, continuing in the tradition of Hamlet Von Schnitzel. The Maestro is acutally a distant cousin of young Hamlet. Hammerstein – for musical theater’s Rodgers & Hammerstein, Banderas, because Antonio Banderas is hawt, and the rest of name just sounded Latino. Some inspiration from Neil & his Sandman comic…. and the Sax player — after Bill Clinton, cuz it just feels right.

  446. I’m not sure how into accuracy you are with you collection, but looking at the picture, I think your flutist mouse’s instrument is going toward the wrong direction. The flute should be going to the right, with the left paw crossing over his/her body.

    Although, I don’t know if that can be altered once the taxidermy is set.

    I think I would’ve enjoyed concert band a lot more if those were my fellow musicians.

  447. They are British….I am thinking Beatles…the group can be the Daydream Believers, Paul, John, George and Ringo and the lady mouse is Penny Lane or Eleanor Rigby : )

  448. The conductor- Monsieur La souris Strauss. After all they are from Europe.

  449. Trevor Lipnicky, Steve Jones, Ferdinand the Moustachioed, Penelope Von Hildebrand and Zeke.

  450. After the dress is on the mouse, I think it should be called Victor Victrola.

  451. Ricky Ricardo!

    Or maybe Victor Hugo. That way it’s after a famous author and maybe Victor will like them better if he has a namesake, kind of.

  452. Winston H. Belvedere. I suspect that the H. stands for Horatio, but I could be wrong.

  453. Manini (means “tiny” in Hawaiian, and kinda sounds like a euphemism for something naughty)

  454. oh my god, outtakes.
    Okay, because I’m totally unoriginal, I suggest Bernard for one of them and Bianca for the one you are making the evening gown for. I may or may not be on a Rescuers Down Under kick. So it’s a typical day for me, in other words. I fucking love that movie.

  455. The female mouse is Ethel. The guy to her right is Brent. I used to have a colleague named Brent who looked just like that.

  456. I’d suggest *musical* names for them . . . “The Conductor, Suck, Blow, Squeeze and Penelope” . . . but then you’d have to make Penelope’s dress EXTRA fancy.

  457. I think the one on the right is Ludmilla von Maushoffen. She studied classical music with her father, a world renowned conductor with the European Mouse Orchestra, but ultimately learned that he taught her music so that she might someday teach her sons and that he did not believe that female mice have any place in classical music. She fought her way into this high-end event band (weddings and charity fundraisers, mostly, with the occasional bar mitzvah for very wealthy young mice) and intends to work her way onto the international stage so that her father will be forced to recognize how wrong he was.

  458. Beuford. Definitely Beuford. The one in the middle holding the bugle (?) is SO a Beuford. He told me.

  459. They are a handsome group, and one of them must be called Booger. I don’t know why, he just must.

  460. “Squeeks McGee”. Because, even though they *look* like an orchestra, I think they’re really a swing band.

  461. Since I really wanted to do the cheese names and they were already taken, I’ll go with a name for the mouse conducting. His name is Agamemnon. He’s creative, somewhat devilish, and looks like he’d want to have an evil good time. Besides, it’s fun to say! Agamemnon.

  462. Also, I just realized that I can’t be trusted to spell Beauford correctly. I forgot the “a” but I don’t know, Beuford could also work. I’ve seen far worse spellings of names and just think of how special he’ll feel sans “a” in his name.

  463. I wish one was a girl ’cause you could name her Kitty. One could be Leonardo and call him Leo for short.

  464. Wallace Hartley, bandleader aboard the Titanic (that’s about the only detail I remember from the movie).

  465. Cinderelly’s Ballroom Orchestra featuring: Jaques, Gus-Gus, Perla, Suzy & Octavius

  466. Orchestral Manoeuvres in The White. Or Light. I can’t decide. Or maybe the Not So Blind Quintet? And really, at what point does Victor stop being surprised with you buying taxidermied animals? I think you are Chief of this hobby, and it has made us all pause and ponder why we hadn’t thought of it yet. Time to stop mourning V. She’s in it to win it.

  467. It’s already been said a lot, but my first thought was the Titanic band. Do it!

  468. Tiberius! Actually you could name the conductor Captain, one of them James, one Tiberius, and one Kirk. The woman could be Uhura?

  469. They should be named after the New Kids on the Block-
    Donnie, Danny, Jordan, Jon and Joey

  470. Sinjin, Sherlock, Sinclair, Stewart, and Sheena E. Together they are Sheena E and the Starlight Squeaks.

  471. This is tough. I am not creative about names. I would have to go with something simple like Fred for one of the boys, and how about … Nancy, for the lady. Lame, oh well.

  472. Wolfgang Amadeus Mouseart, Mousewig von Beethoven, Peter Ilyich Mousekovsky, Mouseric Chopin, and Johann Rodent Bach of the Royal Philharmousic, obviously.

  473. how about Leon Mousekovitz … or Norman Valkenmouse… I like incorporating the word mouse into unusual names… lol

    good luck… and I think Victor may be right in this case.. lol

  474. I think we need to stay presidential so how about: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln, and Mary Todd (or Betsy Ross)

  475. I have named them all, rather good names too.

    Conductor- Monsieur Isley Leland
    The mouse on sax Mr. John Hatch
    Playing the trombone for us tonight is Mr. Smithwick Smothers
    Tiny mouse in the back shall be Hawley Truax
    and gracing us with the dulcet tones of the French horn is the world famous Baird Umstead.

    These are all real names that I’ve collected over the years. That makes it sound creepy. When I hear a great name, I always try and remember it. This is the most exciting part of working with databases… yes, databases are very *very* boring.

  476. I have named them all, rather good names too.

    Conductor- Monsieur Isley Leland
    The mouse on sax Mr. John Hatch
    Playing the trombone for us tonight is Mr. Smithwick Smothers
    Tiny mouse in the back shall be Hawley Truax
    and gracing us with the dulcet tones of the French horn is the world famous Baird Umstead.

    These are all real names that I’ve collected over the years. That makes it sound creepy. When I hear a great name, I always try and remember it. This is the most exciting part of working with databases… yes, databases are very *very* boring.

  477. There is no way I can read all the comments (more than 900 at this point), and THEN come up with a clever name that hasn’t already been suggested. The Mouseketeers come to mind – Athos, Porthos, Aramis, D’artagnan and Harry.

    Anyway, it’s worth a try just to win a copy of your audio cd with extra bits.

  478. I feel that the group name should have the word Fromage in it. Fromage Cinque as there are five and they are french-fancy.

  479. Names. Names.

    Well, british mice, so fancy names. Wolfgang Von Battinshall. Antoine MacNougat. Sylvester Alphonse Tweetenham.

  480. I’m going to caption it “Nearer, My God, to Cheese”

    because they remind me of the musicians on the sinking Titanic. I imagine they just didn’t have small enough life vests.

  481. One of the mice should be named Julian. And he should speak with an English accent..

  482. How about Victoria for the girl? That name has always sounded fancy to me. Or better yet, an identity crisis; Victor Victoria!

  483. The picture of the mouse orchestra of course reminded me of the mouse circus from Coraline as drawn by Dave McKean
    http://www.mousecircus.com/mousecircus/flash/mc_flash.html

    I was going to suggest some mobster names, but instead decided to raid Terry Pratchett’s Discoworld characters. Here is my lineup, starting with the conductor and moving clockwise:
    William the Gonnagle, Lord Snapcase, Tolliver Groat, Victor Tugelbend, and Sacharissa Crisplock.

  484. I am not reading the other comments…partly because there are nearly 1000 of them, and partly because I don’t want to be unduly influenced by others’ suggestions.

    Clearly these mice are Tommy Dor(mou)sey and his Orchestra.

  485. I’m definitely feeling the aforementioned “Reginald,” particularly for the one in the back with the trumpet and the smirk.

  486. Okay, first of all. One of the mice needs a nice handlebar mustache. I’d be okay even if the one who will have the evening dress gets it… because we’re all-inclusive here at the Bloggess’ blog, right?

    Secondly, one of the mice needs to be named Archimedes. He’ll be a smart, dapper mouse in his little black tie. And he can play instruments! That’s the whole package right there! All he needs is to be a millionaire and I’d marry him.

  487. Stanley. The dapper little guy on the back right is definitely a Stanley.

  488. One of them should definitely be named after Wil Wheaton… I mean think of all he’s done for you!

  489. Maestro miška [Slovenian for Mouse] – and his Randy Rodents – featuring the Mouseprano ClaraBell [the one getting the dress]

  490. The one playing the french horn’s name is CLEARLY Herbert. Herbert the French Horn Player.

  491. I want to name one Ricky Ricardo, but since there’s no drummer, I’m going with Lawrence Welk for the band leader, then Bobby and Sissy, and I’ll have to check Google to find out some other Lawrence Welk cast member name for the other one.

  492. The Garth Brooks Tribute Band – playing I’ve Got Friends in Low Places

  493. I’m going to be one of a thousand that suggest this but I can’t resist. I’m withdrawing from caffeine.

    Micestro for the conductor.

    Brava Jenny!

  494. They remind me of the orchestra on the Titanic that keeps playing even though the ship is sinking and they know they’re going to die. Except for these guys are already dead and they’re STILL. PLAYING.

  495. Hmmmmm tough call – so many decisions but I think they should be called:

    Oprah
    Wil
    Neil
    Broderick
    and Victor (he cannot be mad at his name sake!)

    As for the band name: 150 Pounds of British Money.

    Self explanatory.

  496. They should be named Fivel, Sixel, Sevenel, Eightel and Ninel. The group can be called the Numerels.

  497. New reader here. 10 whole years! That is very fitting of me, I only like to watch television shows that have several seasons in production. I am extremely impatient. Btw, Beyonce got me hooked.

    As for your Mousical Stringed Quintet, I would like to continue with the televison theme. So my submission is inspired by the Band from TV. Hugh Laurie, James Denton, Scott Grimes, Bob Guiney, and Greg Grunberg.

    Congrats on the book! I will be picking up a copy soon!

  498. The lady is Flossie (and should be the flautist), the conductor is the Micetro, the sax player is Milo, the fresh horn is Pierre, and the last one is Dean — the one who doesn’t play by the rules or play a recognizable instrument.

    The band as a whole? The Grand-Stuffed Orchestra

  499. The saxophonist could be Jameel Mousedoc – it would give the group the diversity you’re looking for and you’d have an excuse to find it a clever hat.

  500. For the girl mouse I like Kiki Dee, or perhaps Margaret. One of the boys (the quiet one) looks like a Frederick.

  501. How about Jean-Pierre Rodent (accent on “dent”) for the flautist (you know, after Jean-Pierre Rampal) and Yo-Yo Mause for another one?

  502. i have always been fond of Finster. Like in that Bugs Bunny cartoon with the baby criminal who steals money that falls into Bugs’ hole.

    OH Finster… oh FINSTER baby….

    Or there’s always Faust. which would be sort of awesome.

  503. I like the name Aloysius for one of the mice, because it sounds fancy (and reminds me of a funny story with my grandmother which I would tell, but this is only a short comment and nobody else would probably find it as funny as I do). Congrats again on the book!

  504. I think one of them should be named Jeremy. The one with the trombone looks like a Jeremy. For some reason, I keep thinking of David Bowie when I look at the photo. Perhaps the David Bowie Quintet.

  505. God your commentors are hysteical! I can’t try to come up with something as funny and clever!

  506. Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and Penny.

    Or Zack, AC, Screech, Kelly, and Jessie.

    Or Johann, Ludwig, Wolfgang, Joseph, and Franz. (Franz is the one in the dress.)

  507. Let’s see… Edmund von Cheesentein, Oliver Waltingham, Neville Frothingslosh, Phineas Eversham, and Hildegarde von Cheesenstein (No relation to Edmund.).

  508. I would name the conductor Andre Mousevin. The group could be the Mouseketeer Quartet. (Though you may run into copyright issues if those people at Disney catch on.)

  509. In recognition of the 100th anniverday of the sinking of the Titanic this week they could be named for members of the Titanic’s band. Hartley, Woodward, Clarke, Brailey, Bricoux.

  510. Heyla

    Well, obviously, this is likely the Mouseville Philharmonic, the conductor is Felipe (note the rakish and obviously european way he holds his baton) and the one on the right feels like a Euphigenia. -sage nod-

    -r

  511. Too bad there aren’t more girls. You could name them Lady Mary, Lady Edith, and Lady Sybil after the Downton Abbey sisters. Oh yeah, and the Dowager Countess! After all, you can’t get much fancier than Downton Abbey!

  512. The Trans-Mouseberian Orchestra

    Bach, Beethoven, Motzart, Vivaldi (Viv for short- this is for the female), and Paul

  513. I recommend you name the conductor “Grass Charles”, or “Sir Grass Charles” depending on whether you imagine him having grown up in a wealthy family or having grown up in poor circumstances only to rise above and obtain the coveted position of conductor of the famous London Mouse Symphony. Really, you can’t lose with either option.

  514. I like Percy, or Hubert. Or maybe even Moustafa! If you make one a female I would go for Mildred.

  515. One should definitely be named Bettina. She whispered it to me between songs.
    My husband and I are moving from GA to CA next month and I’ve already informed him that your book will be one of the ones we’re listening to on the drive.

  516. Millie Mayfair and the Whitemouse Quartet. Because they kinda remind me of a jazz quartet that played at a swing dance event I participated it. And it had some overblown, jazzy name like that.

  517. How about “RATT Poison”? An orchestra tribute to the 80s hairbands.

  518. I think the girl should be Elizabeth and one of the boys should be Edward. Those seem very Victorian to me. Congrats on the book!

  519. I can’t help but think that the musicians are related – Claudio, Alphonse, Sergio, and Ricardo (of course, one of them may be turned into Carmen via a gown) Scarpetti – all conducted by Sir Neville Norrington.

  520. Jenny, I hope you’re ready to add another line to your résumé, because as well as best selling author* you are now a fashion trend setter. Over here on the damp and dismal side of the Atlantic the Brits are setting their cupcakes and recreational incest aside and embracing do-it-yourself taxidermy:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/features/the-latest-accessory-for-fashionistas-a-stuffed-animal-7626818.html

    Sample quote: ‘All of which is why I am armed with a scalpel, cutting a neat line up from the stomach to the rib cage of a dead mouse I posthumously christen Derek.’

    What this probably means is to expect a whole lot of weird stuffed animals that drive on the left-hand side of the Internet. Best warn Victor – or chloroform him, whichever works for you.

    * you are a best selling author aren’t you? Ooooh I hope I haven’t jinxed it.

  521. I am so not good at these types of things.

    So I let my daughter do it. She’s five so it’s not too creative. Minnie, Mickey, White, Jay, Lucy. And the group name is MckMousersons.

  522. There has to be an Angus. And a Tarquin. Girl is Tallulah for sure. And the conductor is Sir Francis Farcington III.

  523. I say “Seamus” or “Siobhan” or “Colonel”. I love names that don’t sound like they’re written.

  524. Cedrick is a wonderful name for a mouse. The lady mouse to be, culd be Ophelia. Two for the price of one.

    Onward and upward. …well, in theory anyway.

  525. I’m just going for the obvious group name:

    Dr. Funke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution

  526. The Conductor – Dr. Aloysius von Thunderbottom
    The Sax Player – Rufus “The Jam” McSpiggots
    The Trombonist – Skinny Pete LeBeau
    The Trumpeter – Maximillian P. Shostakovich
    The (I think) Horn Player – Miss Liliana Marie Crutchfield-Lillitz

  527. Aren’t they actually rats? Look at their not fluffly tails; that makes them white rats…right?

  528. I think it would be cool to have different sets of clothes/instruments for all of them depending on what kind of music you’re in the mood for: Hair Metal band, Hillbilly Jug band, marching band…. 🙂

  529. Bertrand, Alphonse, Wulfric, Mabel, and Gwynog. I think two of them are girls.

  530. Name: O Mice are them: Featuring Jay, Jimmie, John, Conan and Ellen

    I am anxiously awaiting your book, which I ordered for my NOOK…but I’m sad because my commute every day can last up to two hours (You know it’s hard out here for a girl in TRAFFIC.) So I would LOVE your book on CD! Seriously…after already listening to the girl with the (fill in the blank) series, and all of the hungry games series, I’m now onto self help books, which is sending me straight to depression. And I got a speeding photo ticket! (Did I mention it’s hard out here.) But listening to your book on CD would make it all better.

  531. Aloysius, because my hubs won’t let me put it on the list of names for our baby.

  532. This made me think of an all mouse production of the Titanic where the band is playing as the ship sinks. I have no idea why. But a little red evening gown on the one would be adorable and you should name her Andromeda.

  533. W.A. Mousart, Martin Van Murine, Felix Verminsohn, Auguste Rodent, & Richard Mauss

  534. Henry Mousini and The Fancy Mice All-Stars: Clarence “Whiskers” Clemmons on saxophone, Peter “Paws” Griffin on trombone, Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet and…what is that, a flute? Jethrina “Aqualung” Tull on the flute.

  535. The girl should be named Genevieve – pronounced ‘John – vee- ev’. I’ve always loved that name (means “woman of the people”). Although you purchased these mice from Great Britain, they actually are French and are members of the House of Bourbon. The remaining musicians are named: Blanchard (white), Candido (glowing white), and Thibault (brave person). The conductor is Ambroise (immortal). You’re welcome.

  536. There’s a Marston in there and possibly a Giacomo as well. I don’t know why but they strike me as being from Venice.

  537. Modest Mouse-orgski. Because, he was a member of the group called the The Might Five.

  538. When I was young I had two mice (or rats, perhaps) and their names were Nicodemus and the other was Templeton. They died of cancer. That’s sad. I should have had them stuffed and then I could have sent them to you. Oh well.

  539. Bob is the sax player. He really wanted to wear a red bow tie in homage to his favorite TV show. But he was outvoted by the other band members. But you see, Bob holds grudges for a long time. He has plans… big plans.

    I can’t wait to read your book on my flight home (toulouse)!

  540. I nominate the name Ian Anderson. He played flute on the song ‘Aqualung’ by Jethro Tull. I never liked the song, but you can’t deny the power of a wicked flute solo.

  541. Wil and the Wheat-tones.
    Or possibly Victor and The SqueekTones.

    Just grabbing at straws here!

  542. I’m pretty sure one of them should be named Giacomo (approximately pronounced jockamo). Not sure about the rest.

  543. This is the first time I’ve commented, but I LOVE your blog!

    I think you should name the one you’re making the dress for Hannelore, that is all. The others are just the backup band.

  544. victor/victoria in honor of your husband and your desire to put a dress on one.

  545. Also, Ralph’s (1119) suggestion of Modest Mouse-orgski is brilliant. Wil and The Wheat-tones (1124) is similarly awesome.

  546. Something classy like Sir Bucky Waltham. Well Bucky isn’t that classy but it shows that he likes to have fun and doesn’t take himself too seriously.

  547. The obvious name… Victor! And, since all the mice look alike, why not just name them all Victor? Like George Foreman and his sons! (except they are stuffed mice. Also, white.)

    ~EdT.

  548. Congratulations on the review, and on the looming book release! <3

    I can't even blame you on the mouse orchestra. They're adorable, and definitely need little gowns and tailcoats.

  549. You should name the conductor Ives, then the rest Giuseppe, Nicolai, Amadeo, Lorna & Leif.

    I REALLY REALLY WANT YOUR BOOK ON AUDIO!!

    I am already ANXIOUSLY waiting for your book to be available on my kindle!!! I can’t wait to read it!!

    Thanks && best of luck to you & your book.
    Dee

  550. Armando was my fancy mouse, named after my grandmother’s polka partner. His legacy should live on!

  551. Lady and The Tramps
    The Polyphonic Squee
    Philly Mousekewitz Philharmonic
    Jenny and The What

  552. Mouserice Ravel, Mouseseppi Verdi, Giaccomouse Puccini, Richard Mauss, and conductor Michael Tilson Thomouse.

  553. I’ll go with a name my son uses for 90% of his stuffed animals.

    Milkus.

    🙂 I can’t wait for the book!

  554. I think that one should be called Olive.
    Also, the one that transitions into ‘womanhood’ could be named Fern also.

  555. So at first I thought they were ‘ethnically’ taxidermied mice which then made me wonder if you could get a matching mariachi set and and marimba band and by the time I wondered who the hell was making all of these ethnic musician sets I reread the post and saw that they were ‘ethically’ taxidermied.

    Which got me thinking about how one is ethical to a dead mouse.

    What was the question?

    My answer is Dormouse and the Tootsie Pops. No, its not clever nor makes sense. Lower your expectations of me…I obsessively read a blog about taxidermied animals. 🙂

  556. Name for the group: 8 Pound Feet

    P.S. Congratulations on your book debut. I can’t wait to get it!

  557. Monsieur René Thibault..
    I have no justification… perhaps I knew Monsieur René in a past life… when we spread the black death together….

  558. ?Wallace H. Hartley of Dewsbury (Bandmaster); P.C. Taylor of Clapham?; G. Krins of Brixton??; Theodore Brailey of Notting Hill?; Jock Hume of Dumfries.

    These are five of the seven names of the Titanic band members that played all evening as the ship sank. They were mourned as heroes after they went down with the ship. There are two other names to choose from but I liked these best.

    Thanks!

  559. There are too many submissions for me to go through them all. Has anyone said Beauregard? I think the sax player looks like a Beauregard. Beauregard Hammersmith. Beau for short.
    🙂

  560. The Final Five
    Yes, I have just rewatched BSG.
    I am so looking forward to getting my hands on your book, and so are Gaius and Six.

  561. Monsieur René Thibault
    I have no justification but perhaps I knew him in another life, spreading the black death, like champs.

  562. The lady mouse should be Lady Beatrix von Censtein. I also like Smatchimo the saxaphoner.

  563. The trombone players name is Bippen. It just is. His last name may or may not be von Schnitzlepuss.

  564. The one playing the sax is cleary Kenny Giovanni… and, before you ask, he would kindly remind you that he is not in any way related to *that* Kenny G., thank you very much! He’s complete different, he has the whole “iovanni” difference! 😉

  565. Since they’re British, one should obviously be Nigel, which is my very favorite British name. You can also sing “We’re Only Making Plans for Nigel” whenever you think about what to do with the mice next. Perfect!

  566. I think the lady mouse should be Gladys. Then you could have Gladys Mouse and the Squeaks.

  567. The one that is getting a dress is totally a Eugenia. Then you have Lionel, Niall, Spencer and Heath, of course.

  568. You should name them after the band that played as the Titanic sank. Of course, you’ll need 3 more mice. They are all from the UK, so it fits with paying in pounds.

    Fred Clarke of Liverpool
    P.C. Taylor of Clapham
    G. Krins of Brixton
    Wallace H. Hartley of Dewsbury (Bandmaster)
    Theodore Brailey of Notting Hill
    Jock Hume of Dumfries
    J.W. Woodward of Headington, Oxon
    Roger Bricoux Lille, France

  569. I also pictured the musicians on the Titanic going down with the ship

  570. I’m a fan of the name Fitzgerald. Kinda fancy, you know. Just like I imagine a British Orchestra Mouse. Also? You can’t go wrong with the name Sheldon.

  571. Ever heard of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along, it has Nathan Fillion in it:;)

  572. I’d go with “The String (Cheese) Quartet. Led by Leondard Mousestein – or if you’re partial to Australian Conductors – Stuart (Little) Challender” – but that’s just me. 🙂

  573. The one in the soon-to-be-made evening dress should be named Persephone.

  574. I’m pretty sure the one who will be wearing an evening gown goes by Henrietta.

  575. The whole band should be called mouse party . Maybe Dr. Tail and the mice that wail ?

  576. The conductor mouse needs to be Wallace Hartley II. The first was the bandleader on the Titanic (you know, the touching story where the quartet played until the ship sank), and I can think of no greater tribute than to name the bandleader of a dead-mouse-quartet after him. Maybe their final destination should be nautical?

  577. One mouse, who will be eventually wearing an evening dress, is a female right? She must be named… Clarice and she should have a little bottle of bubbly in one paw!

  578. Victor Borge. The original is a piano player, but your Victor does try to conduct the home circus, I mean home, I mean band!

  579. I think you should name one after Victor. But that might not be received well. How about Lavinia, Simon, Bertrand, and James for the rest of them?

  580. Maybe you should dress several in evening gowns and they can be the Trans Peromyscus Orchestra- if you do that, Madge would be another good name for a trans mouse!

  581. Mr. Charleston Squeakneek III: pronounced squeak and eek – I like the idea of calling him squeaky for short.
    Mr. Ringo Cheesy Cheeks: Ringo’s parents were hippies and he goes by R.C. Cheeks in the orchestra playbill. Horrible and snobby, he’s openly ungrateful of his awesome mouse name – keep an eye on this one.
    Sir Piper Opera Mouse: Piper’s Opera House is a haunted opera house in Virginia City – which I found appropriate for your mice living on after life. Plus there’s pipes in orchestras – bonus! (There are pipes in orchestras – right??)
    Lady Melody Mousert: One of them had to have a play on a composer name – Mozart
    Maestro Mousekewitz: The Maestro has a great family history, as suggested by his name. His great, great, great, great, greater grandfather was the famous Fievel Mousekewitz. The Maestro’s wife kept Fievel’s diaries and journals long after he was buried in the rose garden and his true life story was later released as the movie we all know and love, An American Tail. The Maestro’s own father took on the role as writer, director and producer and brought this great epic tale to life for all micekind. The Maestro was very young during his father’s pursuit into movie making and fondly remembers the making and recording of the movie’s score, his first true glimpse into the life of music.

  582. Starting with the conductor, going clockwise: Wolfgang Oliver Mouzart; Thelonious Mouse; Jerry Dvorak; William Theodore Rossini; Francesca Caccini (alternate name: Hildegard von Bingen – there are only so many female composers to choose from, and I know how important it is for you to avoid a mouse sausage fest. Both seem to work well and are fun to say).

  583. Sage. For the one on the right getting an evening gown. Sausage = Sage shortened. Also? Her gown needs to be black, just like the bow ties.

  584. Now presenting: Alberto, Beauregard, Candleford, Darryl, and Gertl the Girl in….

    The EEeek Sharp Orchestra!

    ….I am so sorry for that.

  585. Norman. My dog’s name is Norman and every time I tell someone his name, I’m told it’s either a cool name or a weird name for a dog. I think it would be an equally cool and weird name for a mouse.

  586. you could always go simple and go with the good stand by names George, Bob, Steve, Earl, and Tom or mix it up with Wilhelm, Mr. Bojangles, Friedrick, Mr Studenheim, and Rolfe

  587. They’re obviously Stella, Rupert, Jedediah, Gus, Thibideau and Michael Jackson.

  588. Phinnaeus McVittie and the Fancy Four (Victoria, Vincent, Vlad, Valentino)

  589. Lorenzo. That’s what a friend dreamed would be my daughter’s name. It is not her name, but I feel
    It should be someone’s or some mouse’s name.

  590. I’m guessing the Five Mouseketeers is too obvious, yes? Okay, I leave creativity — and the lulz — up to you. Love!

  591. One of them has gotta be “Ten Bob Note” but you gotta say it gangsta. He’s the ‘fitty cent’ of his generation.

    WG

  592. You should have someone put the musical part of a music-box in the box-part, where the music is an orchestral piece.

    What’s more is you can now stage Hamlet von Schnitzel in a home-made balcony and put your orchestra below and do photo shoots like that.

    I agree with Fitzgerald, but more as a surname. My mind immediately went to “Ella Fitzgerald”, but I think that’s because I was also considering Louis Armstrong. I don’t think Louis Armstrong fits, but I still like the sound of Ella Fitzgerald, so maybe “Stella”. I also liked the idea of naming one Alphonse (simply because it reminds me of “Alonsy, Alphonso!”, which I’m pretty sure you’ll get), but I can’t think of a surname. Hm. Let me summarize.

    Install music-box parts & build balcony for maximum pleasure and staging.

    Mouse name Submission:
    Stella Fitzgerald
    Alfred Alonso (alternatively “Alfred Alphonso Alonso”, but that might be a bit much)
    Clarence Urwin
    Frederick Raddenbury
    Chester Thursfield III (I imagine Chester to be the conductor)

    I’m really horrible at deciding boy names, so I apologize in advance, LOL.

  593. The conductor/band leader should most definitely be Mannheim von Winkelstrausse making the band name Mannheim von Winkelstrausse and the Mausketes. Because Germans are fancy?

  594. Those… are… awesome! And yes, they totally need a female in the group. Maybe once they are delivered you can tell which one doesn’t have little, mousey testicles? Or are those removed during the taxidermy process?

  595. Alistair, Simon, Nigel and Hugh for the gents. She could be Lady Eleanor Rosamund. The perfect names for British mice, I think.

  596. Augustus and the Ass-tones. I dunno why, but it seems like an appropriate title for a bunch of taxidermied mice playing in an orchestra.

  597. Lil’ Jon, Lil’ Wayne, Lil’ Romeo and Lil’ Caesars
    And the girl mouse is obviously Lil’ Kim
    You are welcome.

  598. Robert Hingington and Jeffery Beederbecker. Or Geoffry if he’s British. For some reason these are my daughter’s and my pet names for each other.

    Yeah. I dunno either.

  599. That comes out to about $60 per mouse, which is totes cheap and provides endless joy and sparkling conversation. Tell Victor in the parameters of long term investment you made the right call.

  600. Since you share my love to all things Whovian:

    Band name – Get the Fuck out of my TARDIS

    Mice: Allons-y, Geronimo, Spoilers, Exterminate and Delete

  601. I think it’s obvious that one of these mice needs to be named D’Artagnan because that’s the fanciest name I know.

  602. Willard von Hammschfrau IV. I’m specifically thinking of the second one in from the left because his face just looks like a Willard, but it’s totally a name that could go for anyone. Other good names: Tommy Lobster, Nina Toadstool, JR, Spiderman (although you might get in trouble for that one, who knows).

  603. Hermia, Helena, Demetrius, Lysander
    and Yorick – cause he’s a jester and should be the conductor.

  604. Ermenegildo (er-men-eh-hill-doe). Sounds pretty darned fancy to me…and exotic. Maybe one of your little guys could be the Latin Lover of the group. Kind of like the Most Interesting Man of the rodent world. Food for thought.

  605. I think any of them (but especially the conductor) could be named Herbert, after the great conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic Herbert Van Karajan. Well, former conductor. PS. A lot of people want to win your audio book.

  606. My Mum is researching her family tree, and just turned to me and asked ‘who is called Flossie Robjohns?’.
    Apparently it’s Welsh.
    You’re welcome.

  607. Where do you get these, for real. I am moving out of my parent’s house and need some decorations for my new place.

  608. The Cat’s Meow
    Johnson and Wails

    I have the release date marked on my calendar, because the book should be in my mailbox that day, right? I don’t want to lag behind the rest of the crowd that is reading your book, or I’ll be like one of those people on the cellphone commercial who’s like 17 seconds behind the rest of the crowd, and laughs after everyone else gets the joke.

  609. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH – Because it’s just such a great name!

  610. I think the conductor is femal and her name should be Claire. And the one playing the sax, he is totally a George.

  611. Cynthia, Peter, George, Claudio

    or

    Peter, Alexander, Liza, Colin.

    Three boys, one girl. Whoever misses the reference google Quartetto Gelato.

  612. This might be a bit morbid, and maybe even one of those, “Too soon?” moments, but if you DIDN’T get the one a dress, you could name them after the people in the orchestra on the Titanic. You know, the ones that kept playing as it went down? I’m just saying that because this is the 100th anniversary of it’s sinking and all, it could be kind of fun. Or not…

  613. The conductor should be Neil, in honor of Mr. Gaiman for his contribution to your book trailer and of his own mice musicians at Mouse Circus (http://www.mousecircus.com/). You new mice musician names could be Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, with the evening gown mouse named Stan, which is short for Loretta.

    Looking forward to seeing you at the Dallas stop of your book tour!

  614. I’m pretty sure that one of those mice is named Cicero.

    And another one is named Travis Courtney Harrell, because these are obviously Texas mice.

  615. You completely should name them after the members of the Harlequin … you know, Scaramouche, Il Dottore, Pantalone, etc.

  616. They are playing “Rat-sidy in Blue” ; ) and I like the one playing the flute, he should be called McGuyver. And no. I have no idea why.

  617. I think the whole group should be called “The Victor(y) Ensemble”.
    Your’e welcome:)

  618. Louis Snetzleburg would have been named Louis von WetzelMcPretzelburgington had his ancestors not gotten the short end of the stick at Ellis Island. Keep in mind that he hates when people call him Sneezleburg.

  619. A name? Mister Hamnible’s Pocket Sized Orchestra of Elegance, featuring their Matching Wooden Case.

    They look like Neil Gaiman’s Mouse Circus, though, which totally makes me squee.

  620. My husband is constantly bemused by my bursts of laughter whenever I read this blog.

    You must name one the Duke of Camembert. Or David Q. Dawson.

  621. When I was a kid I red this book and there was a mouse in it who wanted to play a piano. His name was Aloysius Sebastian Mozart Mouse.

  622. P.S. There were 8 (I think?) musicians on the Titanic total, so this gives you a totally legit excuse to find three more.

  623. I’d name the front left one Lawrence and hook it up to a bubble machine.

  624. Don’t know their individual names, but the name of the group is “Squeaky and the Wheels.”

  625. I was having trouble posting so I apologize in advance if this has already posted: I think the conductor mouse should be Mouthoven (pronounced like Beethoven but with mou not mouth oven). And who doesn’t want celebratory mice!? gosh Victor!

  626. Deseray, Ichabob, Malachi, Xavier and Bill. And their band is called “Soup for two”

  627. So, I found your blog after suffering from ppd after giving birth to my daughter. And her nickname is princess poppycock. Yes, I do really call her that at home. So I think one of then should be calmed princess poppycock

  628. Obviously, the conductor needs to be named “(The) Mice-tro.” And the group – or scene, whichever – might be called “Eine Kline Maus Musik.”

  629. Clockwise, starting with the conductor: Stilton Byron, Asiago Davenport, Cheshire Calloway, Maximillian Roquefort, and Isabella Pomeroy-Camembert (her parents were progressive).

    Also, asiago, cheshire, roquefort, stilton and camembert are all cheeses.

  630. The one you’re going to put in a ball gown should be Fiona Fancy Mouse and the others can have equally fancy names like Ferdinand, Fabrice (or Fabricio) and Fenwick. The conductor could be Mo.

  631. I pre-ordered the book and I CAN’T WAIT!

    Also, there’s clearly something wrong with Victor if he doesn’t understand the NECESSITY of a mouse orchestra in your life.

  632. I want a set of my own! Almost at the point where I’ll figure out how to get some but I’m pretty sure the convo with my husband wouldn’t be anywhere near as pleasant as the one you had with Victor.

    I’m too lazy to check if this was already suggested. I like the Queso Quartet. If you got another mouse, it could be the Fantastic Fromage Five.

    PS – I soooo looking forward to seeing you at Book Passage in California!!

  633. Well, clearly one of the mice (the ringleader, I’d imagine) is crying out to be named Phil Spitalny.

  634. Lilibet in honor of the diamond jubilee. A tiny ascot/derby hat with matching handbag would complete her look.

  635. The one in the middle withe silver thingy – trombone, is it? – should so be called Aloysius!

    Thanks for the laughter your writing brings.

  636. Sergeant DoNothing for the mouse in the middle because he seems to have neglected any actual playing of his instrument. However, he’s managed it so well to still remain a part of the orchestra that he’s risen to the ranks of Sergeant.

  637. One of them is screaming “John Adams” to me. I’ll let you decide which one.

  638. I think when you make an evening dress to end the sausage fest that “she” should wear red and be named Jezebel.

    Antioch, Abreham, Artemis and Bill, should all bow to her will, however wicked.

  639. Violent Lee Rural and the West Texans featuring: Odessa, Lyle Lubbock, Ronny James Del Rio, and Tom Van Horn.

  640. The conductor is CLEARLY “Phineas Rumpleminze”. Anyone can see that.
    (Congrats! Or…Conga Rats! Whichever…) <3

  641. Wallace Hartley
    John Wesley Woodward
    John Frederick Preston Clarke
    Geeorges Alexandre Krins
    Theodore Ronald Brailey
    John Law Hume
    Percy Cornelius Taylor
    Roger Marie Bricoux

  642. How about Lilly Whitestiff for the one that’s going to have a dress. It’s a classic name for a classic color and a classy lady mouse.

  643. I found this name when I was reading stuff on the internets and had to write it down because it’s different. One of the mice should be called ‘Fielding Meek’.

  644. The conductor should be Italian, and we will address him as Minccino!

  645. Brunhilde. Possibly for the one in the dress, but I don’t want to make those kind of gender assumptions. It’s bad enough people *cough*Victor*cough* is discriminating because of their color.

  646. I name everything Stewart, but then every one will think “Stuart Little” and that’s just too easy. I think Eduardo would be a good name for an orchestra mouse.

  647. I see the person above me had the same idea as me (and probably many, many more) being this IS the anniversary of the Titanic. And the first thing I thought when I saw the little buggers: “They look like the players from the Titanic who played Nearer My God to Thee as the boat sank.” So I googled and found Wallace Hartley is one of the 8 people who played while the boat sank. I see the clever person above me bothered to research for the entire 8.

    I think one of your mice looks like a Wallace.

    And if you don’t like the Titanic allusion, you can always name him after Mike Wallace, I’m sure he’ll get a kick out of that; or if you put a little kilt on him, he can be William Wallace, always a personal favorite of mine.

    Can’t wait to read the book. Cheers!

  648. Lance and the Corn Nuggets
    Man, I hope I win; I’m so over listening to music in the car. Also: This is awesome. You’re awesome.

  649. Pete, one of them should be Pete. Though when he is playing and has fancified himself he goes by Peter. Pete only comes out at the pub after the show or any other time he is out drunking.

  650. Sir Benjamin. He’s the conductor. The trombonist is called Christopher, but her name is actually Katherine and she’s in disguise as a male mouse because they told her female mice play flute and clarinet and French horn and she is just not into woodwinds or brass that pretends to be woodwinds.

  651. Oscar, Rudyard, Lewis, George and Charlotte, because they are of course Victorian fancy mice!

  652. Jasper Piddlypants. I don’t know, it’s what my husband calls me after I’ve been jumping on the trampoline. :/

  653. Don’t know about individual names, but what about ‘The mini murines’?
    (that means mouse! And it’s not all snotty when it’s plural).

  654. damn. do you actually READ all the comments? how do you have time left over to breathe?

    I know I’m not going to win anything (I never do), plus I don’t deserve it (I not only haven’t been with you for 10 years, I haven’t been with you for 10 weeks, plus I have contributed exactly zero to supporting your quest to re-design Western civilization as more entertaining and less stupid — BUT I am madly in love with your sense of humor, your honesty, your courage, and your sense of humor. and your taste in Victor.

    so my (admittedly feeble) contribution is, Bloggessaxrat. WE LOVE YOU!

  655. Name them after the characters from Reservoir Dogs.

    Or perhaps El Diablo Cinco. Purveyors of ruthless smooth jazz.

  656. I am thinkin kinda posh would fit. Davenport DuPont sounds just “snotty” enough to be posh.

  657. The girl should be called Emese (it’s a Hungarian’s girl’s name).

  658. The saxophonist looks like a Henry to me. Henry El Gato, poor thing has been an outcast in his mouse community his whole life. Fortunately he found love and acceptance within the orchestra.

  659. Clearly, they are the Jackson Five. (after my husband just informed me that there are only four Beatles. Hm, interesting.)

  660. Jerry, George, Kramer, Newman and Elaine. Elaine will, of course, be the one you are putting in a red ball gown.

  661. The mouse playing the saxophone should be “Hugo von Hammersmark” as an homage to “Inglourious Basterds”, which does not have an orchestra nor does it have mice. This should be rectified.

  662. I don’t have names for them but I do think they should be the mice musical group from the titanic. I can’t think of a more dapper story than them dressed to the nines and valiantly going down with the ship. Victor should buy you a celebratory titanic and make this happen.

    It’s the least he could do.

  663. I was on a chhese high and thought these names would be kinda awesome. The band could be called Castelo and the Manchega Orchestra. The bring the sharpest notes and the creamiest sounds to please the auditory pallette.

    1. The conductor – Castelo Branco
    2. The saxophonist – Danish Fontina
    3. The trumpeteer – Fleur du Maquis
    4 – The other horn/flute/whatever guy – Lou Palou
    5 – The Hornest (aka the female) – Evora De L’Alentejo

    If you had a drummer he would’ve been called Colby McChedderton. Also it is a cool alternate name. for all of them except Evora. She will always be Evora to me.

  664. I say that the group should be called The Winds with Whiskers. Each mouse should have a famous musicians name but not something classical like Sabastian but more like Mike Starr because that’s ironic..and everyone knows Fancy Mice are Ironic Mice!

  665. How about… Professor LongTail (Professor Longhair), JellyRoll Mouseton (Jelly Roll Morton), Mouse Domino (Fats Domino)… Some mouse-y jazz artists!

  666. I don’t have any name ideas. BUT since this is the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic the do remind me of the band that played as the ship sank. A macabre band either way…dead mice or doomed orchestra guys.

  667. Christabel…seriously, I have no idea why, but as soon as I saw them, that was the name that jumped up….

  668. Harriet 🙂

    Also, I broke my scrolling finger scolling to the bottom to comment. I’m not sure why that’s your problem, but I thought I’d share.

    Hugest congratulations on O magazine. That’s huge.

  669. The conductor is Klaus.
    The saxophonist is Kurtis.
    The trombone player( I think that;s what he is) is Konrad.
    The one behind the future girl is Karl.
    And the future girl is Nyx.

  670. The name of the group should be “Carmina Burana”…obviously. They resemble this symphony perfectly: It is well know, but people have no idea what the name of that song is and its a total classic. Its a little creepy and completely amazing at the same time. AND it has POWER. Power like taxidermied mice in black tie…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Fortuna

  671. Sleepy LaBone
    I can’t take too much credit, it is from an awesome young adult novel “Bud, Not Buddy.” If you have read it, you will REALLY appreciate it and feel it is VERY appropriate.

  672. The flute player is named Janine. And the trombone player is a moron. The conductor is a perfectionist and he is SO MAD at that trombone player because he always counts the rests wrong. Why is he even in that orchestra!? Because if you’re a white mouse who has a bow tie and can even marginally play the trombone, you are in. Not right.

  673. The mouse that you make an evening gown for – she looks like a Victoria.

  674. I SO need an autographed book, and I’m hoping you don’t choose randomly based on how clever the answer was; therefore I’m entering a name in the hopes I win the Law-ttery. ^yes, that really is the best I can manage).

    Name the one in the soon-to-be-dress, Clara (after Clara Schumann)

  675. I have to say Rumpy. Like Rumplestilskin (sorry I can’t spell) or Rumpous room. It just sounds so nice and friendly Rumpy. Rolls of the tongue!

  676. The lady should definitely be Ermintrude. I have no idea about the gentlemen though.

  677. Well, since they’re European mice, I’d suggest Bertrand, Hugo, Franc, and The Grand Duchess Eloise for the one wearin the frock. Because ‘she’ is in drag. And all drag queens think they are fabulous enough to call themselves royalty, as well they should.

    Happy congratulations on the book! I cannot wait!

  678. Names:
    Anda, One, Two, Three and Four

    Looking foward to reading the book!

  679. Those mice are adorable. <3

    They should be "White Ties and Tails". Because they're white, wearing ties, and have tails.

  680. Newt, Scully, Jabba the Mouse, Pookie, and Teenygozer.

    These are the names of cats I’ve owned, except for Jabba the Mouse. The cat’s name is actually Jabba the Cat.

  681. For the mouse you’re putting into an evening gown so as to add a feminine touch to the sausage party, I’d like to suggest Mrs Badcrumble. (By that I obviously mean that what I’d *really* like would be an autographed copy of your audiobook.)

  682. The Von MouseTrapp Family Orchestra

    Horatio, Isichar, Pavlov, Sabastian, and Drucilla.

    Oh and the next time you get a taxidermied snake you should name her Serpensortia. =D

  683. Arturo Toscanini and The Carmirelli Moustet. The moustet members are: Arturo Bonucci, Luigi Sagrati, Montserrat Cervera, Pina Carmirelli. I like that the moustet is named after it’s token female. 🙂

  684. I think you should name at least one of them after a famous British author who had a bit of obsession with rodents herself:

    The conductor: Beatrix (after Beatrix Potter of Course) and the group should be called Beatrix and the Bad Mice (after her book)
    Names: Hunca Munca(for one in dress, actual character name and obviously because of what is hiding under that dress); Johnny Sax-Mouse (for sax player, named after Johhny Town-Mouse), Timmy Tiptoes (for flute player, again actual character name), and Samuel Whiskers for the trombone.

  685. Porter House. Or T-Bone. T-Bone sounds like a good musician’s name!

  686. casanova bartholomeu appalapachia should be one of their names while the other ones should be called simple things like bob or ted 🙂

  687. The Mini-Tardis Orchestra! Featuring The Doctor, Rose, Captain Jack, Mickey Smith and K-9 (what? it’s ironic.).

  688. Mel Tormé , Rudy Vallee, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington and last but not least Benny Goodman turned Peggy Lee after sex change

  689. It’s the Mouschestra, featuring works by Ludwig van Skweaktoven, Piotr Ilyitch Tcheesevsky, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mouzart!

  690. I’ve had your book pre-ordered on Amazon since the first day it was available…so excited that it’s almost here!!!
    Name one of the mice Victor. Just to see his head explode. 😉

  691. Death, War, Famine, Pestilence and Mr Whiskers

    Not originally my idea, but shamelessly purloined from an author I should be too ashamed – as a straight man – to like.

  692. I wish I was clever or funny or something and come up with a cool name like Frederick VonMousinger, but I’m not so I’m going with George. Just George.

  693. Fancy mice need fancy names. I’m going with Wadsworth, possibly Atherton. I also like to end names in “with great distinction.” Atherton Wadsworth with Great Distinction. It’s got a ring to it.

  694. Maude. The one that gets the evening gown should definitely be Maude.

  695. I say the names of the mice/rats from Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIHM because that book is awesome. Mrs. Frisby, Justin, Jonathan Frisby, Nicodemus, Jenner. ^_^

  696. the girl has gotta to be countess wilimena…i watched days of our lives

  697. Devonte, Quinlan, Bevis, Nigel, Burgess (the lady mouse). I feel like they all should have sophisticated old world names 🙂

  698. Something with Salisbury in it… since it is your steak dinner :). Porterhouse, filet mignon… Darn it, now I want steak!

    Percivel Salisbury
    Pippa or Tilly Mignon
    Felix Von Porterhouse

  699. Looking at this from the point of view of Ferris Mewler, Rolly and Posey; I’d agree with the comment left early on by Peter of Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Appetizer and Dessert. But I’d put a little kitty-twist on it and go with something like Shitsnack, Cracker, Tidbit, Kibble and Morsel. Yum, no?
    Can’t wait for my copy of the book to arrive next week! An audio version would be a BONUS!

  700. I got nothing with mouse orchestra names, except for that one dude named Amistad.

    I screamed when I saw your write up in O. Don’t judge. I bought it for my mom. She’s all about the O(prah)

  701. Conductor Opie! You should really check the provenance on these critters — are they actually from England, or just “imported” from Wales or some such?

  702. OK…if you could name one of the mice Dick, it would make my day! I want him named after one of my coworkers who recently was a real Dick but since his name is not really Dick (and God knows WHY I am protecting his TRUE identity), I would be so happy and say Wow Wee Wow Wow!!

    The entire drama that got Dick black”balled “and made me want to name a taxidermied mouse after him involved 2 cases of bottled water and a storage closet. At first the fiasco was dubbed Operation Water Buffalo, but after all of the fall out and multiple e-mails to “REPLY ALL” this very famous workplace quarrel has been dubbed Watergate and shall probably go down in history at my workplace. While, I have “let go of my anger”, it would secretly get me through the rest of the school year if I knew that you had named a MOUSE after him!

    Oh…did I mention we were educators??? WE are the people in charge of your children’s future….Sad, but true. 🙁

  703. Wait until Victor finds out about the shipping! It must cost a fortune to ship an entire mouse orchestra to the U.S.!

    Whoever said “Clarence Clemouse” should win.

  704. Holy moly! Do you know how LONG it takes to scroll through 1,000+ comments on an iPhone? I think I just broke my thumb! AND I feel a little bad for adding one more comment for you to sift through, HOWEVER, I reeeeeaaaaally want to win an audio book to accompany my pre-ordered copy.

    SO! I suggest a name for one of the mice is Mimic. Why? Because it’s my 20 month old’s word for bacon. And why should you name a mouse after bacon? Why would you not?! Besides. Orchestra playing mice (in bow ties) are clearly spies and hence deserve a name that is mysterious and an alias.

    Done and done. Your welcome.

  705. I like to find loopholes.

    So, you probably only wanted us to submit one name, but I didn’t exactly see that you couldn’t make another suggestion, so maybe you could make my entire YEAR by naming a mouse Newman…preferably one who has a very large head…and a receding hairline.

    And if there is one wearing black socks REGARDLESS of the activity, you could name that one Mashburn…because he would HATE it if his name was one the internet because he is freaky that way…And he only wears black socks…and he wears socks for EVERYTHING…

    Maybe school needs to be out….

  706. Allistair Cheesenibbler, III.
    Commodore Neville Whiskertwiches
    Reverand Kwiatasa Churchmouse
    Mel Tormouse
    Dinah Mousington

  707. The little trombonist mouse should obviously be named LeRoy Della Burroni IV. It’s written all over him.

  708. We had 3 white mice named Snowy, Helen and Einstein. I’ll add Nathan (one kind of looks like Nathan Lane) and Beethoven.

  709. The conductor is the one who needs the dress. Because the woman needs to be in charge.

  710. I assume these mice are Austrian, and their respective names are Helmut, Dietmar, Manfred, Franz, and Wilhelmina.

  711. From left to right: Leonard Rodentstein, Clarence Clemouse, Albert Mouseman, Sybil Mousse, and Celeste de Souris

  712. I never fail to laugh every time I read your blog. My husband laughs right along with me. Thanks for being the bright spot in my day.

  713. Bah, I got hit by that pound conversion recently, too! What do you mean it’s not 1-1?

    The mouseketeers should be named Ha Ha Ha and Victor. The conductor is obviously named Last Word. But maybe I’m just bitter on your account.

  714. I would name the conductor after Jean-Baptiste de Lully, myself. You know, composer, used to direct with a big stick, hit himself in the toe and got gangrene and died because of it. That’s how you know he was hardcore. 🙂

  715. These comments are amazing!
    Put the lady in charge, if it’s not going to be a sausage-fest.
    This is Helga VonWeinertrapp and the Schrödinger 4.
    (Really, they come with their own wooden box. And have you seen the price of miniature instruments these days? You just made an *investment.* )

  716. You should name the female mouse (or the one u dress as a female so it’s a tranny mouse) Anastacia. It goes for a beautiful woman mouse in evening wear OR creepy tranny mouse in evening wear. Either way, you’re golden.

  717. I’m definitely feeling “Ishmael” for the one in the middle, Choch von Schnitzel for the conductor, and Marky Mark for the sax guy.

  718. Victor. One should definitely be named Victor. Or name the girl Victoria. Or, have both a Victor and and Victoria! Ha! That’ll learn him to mess with your purchasing superpowers.

  719. I think the name Sebastian Swisstail would be perfect for the conductor.

  720. Alastair! And one of the ladies needs to be named Petunia! Because not much would piss off Petunia Dursley more than having an ethically taxidermied mouse in an evening gown named after her. 😉

  721. Clearly one of them needs to be named after Victor in some way. And I like Opal for the one who needs a dress. Opal von Mousington.

  722. These mice remind me of the orchestra playing on the Titanic the night the ship sinks.. .. remember? They didn’t want to stop playing even though they were all about to die (or at least most of them). Therefore, my vote is to name them Jack, Rose, Molly Brown, Captain Smith and Cal.

  723. Hmmm, let’s see.
    Ludwig McWiskers
    Montgomery Mozart
    Reginald D. Lexington
    Baxter Thoven
    and if the 5th is a girl then Ilsa Lemar
    Hopefully that helps.

  724. Please name one Remington. Or perhaps name the group Remington. Either way will work, I suppose.

    Thank you for making me smile today 🙂

  725. I think you should name them The Walter Maxey Five, in honor of the founder of the National Mouse Club in Victorian England.

  726. One MUST be called Francois ( I’m thing the one second from the left), and after she gets her gown the one on the right is Hildegard.

  727. Tito, Conchita, Juan-Ramon(please say with a spanish accent), Enrique, and Victor.

  728. Okay, I’m sure someone has said this, but obviously that one’s Micetro (perhaps flanked by Intro).

  729. Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Shelia. OR Immanuel Kant, Nietzche, Plato, Hobbes and Shelia.

  730. Opportunist! Oh, wait, that’s just me. I’m the opportunist, the sort of person who never comments on a blog except when there’s something in it for me. Like a signed copy of a book I already pre-ordered but that is on AUDIO now and has a signature on it. Still, Opportunist is nice for a mouse too. You can call him Oppy for short and people will think it’s because he’s an opera star and you can tell them that’s dumb because just because it’s an orchestra doesn’t mean it plays for operas. Nope. Oppy should be a girl. The one in the evening dress. K. Just waiting on my one in 16,000 chance of winning that signature. And the audio too, I guess.

  731. Call them the “Mice Girls.” Good luck with your book sales. BTW, your mice are about $30 per leg, but don’t tell Victor. I suspect he already knows.

  732. Marston. Don’t know if anyone has recommended this yet, because WHO GETS 1400 COMMENTS ON THEIR BLOG? I’m a fast reader, not that fast.

  733. The one with the sax needs to be Bill Clinton, so obviously the conductor should be Hillary.

  734. Alister, Bartholomew, Chester, Malachi, Cici St. Germain and Bones (bc every group has a “bones”)

    Or

    Sad Clown, Casper, Shy Girl, Lonely and Tiny

  735. I say name the sausage party dress mouse Birgit (sounds like beer gut but with a git instead of the gut) so you can have a little beer & sausage party. They can play Oompah band music until the sun comes up.

  736. Those are some awesome mice.

    BTW, I have a similar obsession with random statuettes of things. Currently, I’m salivating over a quartet of dancing cows at my local flower shop….

  737. I have never commented before but feel it important to cast my vote for the Fab Four: Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Ringo Starr and George Harrison, with the infamous Yoko as your gal. I know you only asked for one but I couldn’t resist. They are musicians and British!

  738. Mousegang Amadeus Mozart
    Wolfgang Amousedeus Mozart
    Wolfgang Amadeus Mousezart

  739. BISMUTH, OSMIUM, FRANCIUM, HASSIUM and finally introducing CELERY.

    Sowhat? I like chemicals and the word celery.

    FYI- One of my pets is going to be called Octahedral. Either a name for a pet or my spawn.

  740. Ms. Penelope Von Appelbautum, or Piva for short.
    Oh, please let the gown be a tiny version of the traveling red dress!

  741. Daryl, his other brother Daryl, and Victor. And a Bob Newhart….and what was his wife’s name?

  742. Cornelius Van Horne, Perdita McGee, Maxwell Price, Polonius Huffington and Sprinkles.

  743. Mordecai, Obediah, Wilfred, Meriwether and for the lady, Constance.

    BTW, audiobook FTW! Can’t wait to listen to you reading it. I hope the library adds it to their collection.

  744. I think the saxophonist should be called “sassy” Sassy saxy has a ring to it. and I like it! and I want your book on CD 🙂

  745. d’Artagnan and the Steakums Experience… I think it will help justify the switch from them being a steak so that you can triumph over Victor.

  746. This only works if you fashion little sunglasses for everyone except the dude with the baton: “Four Blind Mice and a Superfluous Conductor”

  747. There is seriously a band called The White Mice, but I guess that means the name is taken and you can’t use it. And they play this music called noisegrind, so I guess that doesn’t work with the orchestral them. :/ ummm…I nominate Captan Kirk for the conductor.

  748. The lady mouse you are making the dress for should be Gertrude, but her close friends call her Gerdy.

  749. I am a bit weirded out to see that someone else also called Amber *also* thought Percival. (I bet this is that girl down the road again. Who is also called Amber and started showing up everywhere I am. Maybe this is like that movie Anna to the Infinite Power, in which case I don’t know if I’m the original or a clone…Or if the world is just full of people who want to be me so very badly….) With my personal name and my mouse name already stolen, my new suggestion is:

    Ophelie von Crumpet (because you don’t get much more cultured than combining 3 language roots…and who doesn’t love crumpets?)

    Now, I’m going to go make sure my doors are locked before the Amber Army arrives and devours me….(Or at least draw the blinds and put on a tinfoil hat so it’s harder for them to know my every move….)

  750. You crack me up. How about: Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello and April??

  751. They are adorable!!

    Without reading any of the other names (which I will probably regret,) – Amelia and her twin, Archibald.
    Jasper, Nathaniel, and that rake, Percy.

  752. I don’t have the time to read all the comments, but somebody way up there recommended “Mice-tro” for the conductor and I say YES!! to that idea. Brilliant.

    I would also like to recommend Bertrand. And Basil. And that’s all I can think of right now.

  753. Victor is like Ricky to your Lucy.

    So…fancy mouse names: Filmore, Nigel, Winston, Andrew and Edwina.

  754. A) The “female” should be named Belinda. Or Mrs. Frisby, because I love that book.

    B) Any plans on the audio version being available on iTunes or Audible? If not (AND if I don’t win your autographed copy), I’ll buy the discs and rip them to my iPod, but I thought I’d ask.

  755. I have decided that they should be Italian mafia orchestra mice. Vinny, Lou, frank, Gianni, and Adolfo.

  756. Felix Deware==He usually plays keyboards, but when he feels like celebrating, it’s the slide trombone!!

    Love you much, keep the awesomeness coming.

  757. Thelonious Mouse. Which ought to rhyme, but doesn’t. Mouse Mingus. Dizzy Mousinski. Count Mousie. Ella Mousegerald.

  758. Can I name all 5?
    Macy
    Murphy
    Mulligan
    Montgomery
    & Darnell Washington

    All are good as girls names, so yeah, just take your pick.

  759. You should name them after Downton Abbey characters! What better way to memorialize the series than to name stuffed orchestral mice after them??

  760. The Vienna Sausage Philharmonic Orchestra led by Moustro
    Havarti, Gouda, Monterrey Jack and Pecorino Romano,

  761. I am sure someone has already said this, but it is totally obvious that those are the mice that were playing when the Titanic sank. Only they were playing Nearer My Cheese to Me, because everyone knows that is what mice worship. Anyway, their names were Wallace, Percy, Theodore, Georges (for a Gallic flare), and 3 Johns. I think you know what to do.

  762. i think they are begging to be named hercules, timon, pumba, jolina, and bob

  763. Quintavius
    Ulbrecht
    Inglebert
    Northrop
    Tremayne

    I think the names should be stuffy and formal, and when you put their initials together – it makes QUINT! FUN!

  764. The girl should definitely be Amanda Jane. That’s my future God son’s mother’s name and SHE is British. And she should definitely be wearing a fabulous red dress!

  765. Hmmm. Geneva and the Fancy 4. Geneva needs a dress, and STAT! 🙂

  766. The One getting pants should be called Lord William Fancypants of Glouchester.

  767. I think one of them should be named Alonso, because everyone needs an Alonso in their lives.
    Allons-y Alonso!

  768. I think Csaba is a good name for one of the boys. Also, I think the conductor definitely needs coat tails and bow tie. The idea for the evening gown on the right is great! Maybe red….?

  769. Alright, let’s see…
    For the one that’s getting the evening gown, how about Esmerelda Whiskerfield?
    And the others Butch Twitcherson, Willam Witefurr, Thomas “Squeakie” Matthews, and Herbet Gavin Tooten-Gutten , or HG TV for short.

  770. You should name the group “Dead Rodent Society”. I didn’t read all the 1600+ comments before this one so someone probably already suggested that :p

  771. Because I have loved the band for years and proudly wear a buffalo T-shirt in their honor…Modest Mouse.

  772. Millicent! In honor of the 150 pounds of pennies you will be paying for her and her sausage friends! 🙂 Congratulations on the book!

  773. Rube Fitzsimmons and His All Mouse Orchestra.
    Berenice Cabott — french horn
    John Franklin Bowie — trumpet
    Limey Bone Clemente — saxophone
    Killer Jackson — Trombone

  774. Ellington Mouzart the third, Duke Pascal, Wimbly Fitzwidgeon, Fontaine, and Maude Granzella

  775. The girl mouse should be Daphne. (I hope you liked “Some Like It Hot.”)

    Wow, 150 pounds. I recently donated ten bucks to a comic artist I like and the conversion to British pounds turned it into $16.50. I’m glad I bought your book, that helps with the very important gain of a mouse orchestra. It’s sad when people don’t understand these sorts of necessary purchases.

  776. The ones in the bow ties: C, E-Flat, and G. The one soon to be in dress on the dress on the right: Raynette. The conductor: Levitt.

  777. Because you need 5 names and I only gave 3 before (and I must be thorough):
    Tolula (for the one in the evening gown) and last but not least – Doctor Professor Badass the third.

  778. Mouskovich Le Maestro (5 mice for 150 pounds…Such steal! Honestly, they are practically giving them away.)

  779. Aloysius is an awesome name, because the spelling is so fucked up. My psycho french Catholic grandmother used to play this game where we had to spell our confirmation names and if we couldn’t spell them correctly she’d hit us with a stick. So my older brother, the unlucky recipient the aforementioned moniker, always got the whoopin. I imagine one or more of these mice may have met their end at the hands of a crazy french stick-wielding grandmother, so Aloysius is an awesome name… and we’ve come full circle.

  780. The conductor of the Minnesota Orchestra is Osmo Vanska, so that’s my vote. I think there’s an umlaut in there somewhere. He’s Finnish, though, so it’s whatever markings they have in Finnish (or Swedish, since Sweden used to own Finland).

  781. BIRD
    the saxophonist needs to be called bird after charles bird parker
    because obviously this is the greatest mouse saxophonist ever so how could you not

  782. Epiphany

    One of the mice is name Epiphany.

    Then we have Elysium, Jamiroqui, Don Quixote, and Umbrage

  783. The Mosetonez – I am also in favor of Vivvy’s comment of naming them all Victor and a Victoria

  784. Penelope S. Qweek.

    Penelope because she’s a fancy mouse playing the French horn. S. Queek because… well… I think that’s obvious.

    Really, I just like the name Penelope.

    Congrats on the review!

  785. For the lady mouse: Petunia Lilliput. For the manly mice: Mr. Wilbur Von Sissipants, Frederick the Outertainer, Maxwell d’Amuse, and Zaque Cousteau IV.

  786. the one you dress in a ballgown should be blanca.
    thank you for your internets presence.

  787. Johann, Ludwig, Wolfgang, Giacomo, and Hildegard von Bingen (for the one on the right)
    Collectively? The Temptations.

  788. So I am posting to try and win your book for my wife, not that I don’t enjoy your blog too, but because if she wins, I’ll get to read/hear it too.

    So one of those mice is sure to be named “Mother Fucker”, because who else would the chicken be talking to when it knocks?

  789. As a group, I think they should be known as the Trans-Rodentian Orchestra.

  790. Surely someone has already suggested the MOUSketers – Bobby, Cubby, Lonny, Tommy, and Annette (who should get a little black wig).
    mighty michele

  791. Hi Jenny,

    I’m still bummed that you’re not the same person I was best friends with in 1st grade, but I really appreciate that you answered me anyway. Here are our wacky suggestions for your groovy new band: Herman, Helmet, Hinckley, Heparin and Heidi (aka sausage girl.) Heidi and the 4-H Club Band.

    Regards,
    Nancy and Jeff

  792. Four Blind Mice. Because at least one of them has to be able to read sheet music. Unless the sheet music is in braile. Is that even a thing? It should be.

  793. One: There are OUTTAKES in the AUDIO book-and a BONUS CHAPTER? HOW COULD YOU HAVE NOT MENTIONED THIS BEFORE?? I’m on a freaking budget, woman!

    Two: Frederick, Ronzoni, Philips, and MacaPhee. The girl should be Isabella, goes with Ferdinand.
    Alternates (aka bonus names): Fontenel, Tinkerbell, Odyseuss, El Cid, Copperbottom Pickletop (I retain the rights to that one; you get free use) Shmorguborg, Louella Creampuff.
    Also: Inky, Blinky, Pinky, Winky, and Clyde.

    Congratulations on the Oprah review, BTW! I can’t wait to get my book. We’re already planning on reading it in our book club.

  794. I don’t know if I can stand to wait another week! I don’t read a lot of memoirs, but I’ve been looking forward to yours since you announced it!

    I think the group should be called Black Tie and Tails (get it? heh)

    Thanks!

  795. First there were boy bands….now we see mouse bands. Introducing Mice Mice Baby!
    Or maybe New Mice on the Block.
    Vanilla Mice?

    😉

  796. I think that you should name them the Tails Orchestra. I also think that I should get your audio book. It will make my commute better.

  797. How about the Morte Muridae Wind Ensemble? (It’s very bad latin for dead mouse wind ensemble, and you could pronounce it “En-sem-blay” to rhyme with Muridae)

  798. They are clearly named:
    (The) Moustro, Orvel, Uriah, Sanford, and Edna. Coincidence? I think not.

  799. Heywood Jabuzzoff, Jabroney, Phil McCrackin, Rastus, and Stony Cox (I actually knew a real live guy named Stony Cox and he married a girl named Sweet-Pea – So they were Stony and Sweetpea Cox – I shit you not!)

  800. Has got to be the cast of Big Bang. Cooper, Walowitz, Kootruappali, Hofsteadter, and of course the ballgown belongs to Penny

  801. You should name the mouse band after The Beatles because The Beatles are the best. But you can’t name the soon-to-be-girl Yoko Ono. Maybe she can be Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

  802. You got a nice review in the newest issue of Entertainment Weekly. They gave it a ‘B’.

    As for the mice… I think that the conductor should be called Ringo because Ringo Starr played Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station back in the day.

  803. I’m going to have to vote for Fernando for the mouse name.

    Also, I am a backer on a Kickstarter project that seemed like it might call to you. It’s all about science-y math-y steampunkey girl kick-ass literature. Wasn’t sure if you’d heard about it? http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/airshipambassador/wollstonecraft. I was going to try to convince them they should include a big metal chicken named Beyonce in it, but wanted to know if you’d be ok with that before I started campaigning? Seems totally appropriate in a steam-punk world. 🙂

  804. Jessamie for one of the mice. No, I don’t really know why. I just had to think of something because I really want your book and “Mousie McMousenstern” seemed like it wouldn’t cut the cheese.

  805. I have a couple more that I forgot to include: Rats Domino, Thelonius Mouse, Benny Goodmouse, Mouse Davis, and Mousy Gillespie.

  806. I’m afraid you’re going to HAVE to buy more of these mice. There are waaaay too many good names to waste here. Besides, you don’t technically have an orchestra, as would be proper. It’s a fancy band, but not an orchestra. Victor ought to understand. Just have him read all these comments. And honestly, it would be reward enough just to see an entire orchestra. So choose away and let Victor know that the hyped up geeky super liberals from California gave you permission to buy more mice.
    -Love,
    Another Jenny

  807. Oh and Count Mausie would be good and proper to represent in Big Band.

  808. Efferyteneliania or Effie for the girl mouse [because this orchestra is ineffable]

    and also because once my friend and I wrote harry potter fan fiction about the characters and ron’s girlfriend was named Efferyteneliania and she was secretly a Death Eater and what makes a mice orchestra more legit than a secret Death Eater? THAT’S WHAT I’D LIKE TO KNOW!

  809. I can NOT WAIT to get my copy of the book!!! I can see myself reading snippets of it at work and busting out laughing as my co-workers stare at me with strange looks on their faces…..but it’s only because they are jealous!! I think you should name the one you are creating a gown for: Delphine! (Pronounced Del-Feen)!! I love you Jenny!

  810. The conductor is Humberto.

    I just received your bookplate today – wheee! Congratulations on the publication. 🙂

  811. You are hilarious! You should name one of them Euphemia Luzetty LaGrone, after my maternal grandma.

  812. I’m pretty sure the trombonist is called Bartholomew Binkerhosen. And the conductor is Herbert von Shprinklemausen

  813. Is “Idon’tevenknowwhyIbother” a good name cause holy cow Jenny! Who gets 2,000 comments? I don’t stand a chance, but I do this anyway because I’m a sheep. There, the mouse’s name is Sheep.

  814. As Victor has such strong feelings for them, he should be involved.

    How about…

    Victor and the Tardis munchers….

    (Of course some other genius may have already submitted this name….I appologise if this has been the case)

  815. The Formalde-mice!

    Or, the Lords and Ladies of the Traveling Orchestra for Hamlet von Schnitzel

  816. If you’re making a dress for one of them, then that one should have a girly-ish name. Edolbina?

  817. Basil Snagglebottom came to mind first. Well, I lie, Wackford Squeers did — but that’s the name of a couple of dudes in Nicholas Nickleby.

  818. I think instead of a.gown you should dress the mouse like Freddie Mercuryin the I want to break free video
    Of course the name would be Fredi.
    You could name 3 of the mice Brian. Roger and John after the other members of Queen

  819. Well, the one that gets a fancy dress is named Matilda, and then they can ask her to waltz.

    Quentin is the quiet one in the corner, hoping she’ll pick him.

  820. Sweet Jesus I hear “Motherfucker. THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED ON THE INTERNET.” so often in this house, it’s not even funny.

  821. The Squeakerton Quartet (because it is a quartet. The fifth, the conductor, is Maestro Juniper DerSqueak).

  822. Chester. I see there are other people who suggested Chester as well, but I was thinking it before I saw those. Cheste Smithwicks (Pronounced “Smitticks”).

  823. It probably has to do with all the Titanic reminiscing lately, but at least two of these mice are screaming Jack and Rose. Or King (of the World).

  824. I used to have a hamster named Hobo Thunderbun: I think that he could definitely use a namesake. “Hobo Thunderbun” will obviously be a much less uppity name than many of your other name suggestions, which I think means that he’ll get a really spectacular backstory. A child prodigy and an orphan, roaming the mean streets of Russia, playing woodwinds for crusts of bread! Snatched from certain death by a nameless, faceless, whiskerless benefactor! Brought up in all the best woodwinds schools! But NOW! Oh! Now! A terrible black magic forces poor Hobo Thunderbun to play in a five-piece mouse band TILL THE END OF DAYS, repaying his debt of life! He can’t stop! He can’t sleep or eat! His little paws forever poking out toodle oodle ooo, toddle oodle oooooooooo!

    Or, you know, whatever.

    P.S. The original Hobo Thunderbun was named Hobo Thunderbun partly because he was so enormously and embarrassingly well-endowed.

  825. One should be Erasmouse, or Erasmus as in Erasmus Darwin… Charles Darwin’s grandfather who was a kick-ass poet! He might even be one of the sausage fest mouses (errr, uhm…. mice, mices.. gawd it is late and I am thinking strawberry gravy sounds delish and awesome) and even possibly the one on the right with a future in the evening gown because everyone knows a cross-dressing mouse when they see them and they should be called Erasmus because they cross dress and aren’t transgendered.
    Oh, lordy… no haters please!

  826. Cheese Whisker’s Dixieland Band! not as creative as everyone else but thought I’d take a chance 🙂

  827. Victoria, Ichabod, Carl, Tony, Orville and Rocking Ron.

  828. THE MICE GIRLS
    Like the Spice Girls except they’re mice. Alternately “The Mice” like “The Beatles” but with mice instead of beatles. I’m sure you’re picking up on the pattern by now.

  829. John, Paul, Ringo…..wait….those are taken…..hmmmm I am fond of the name Clive. Could you call one of them Clive??

  830. Hi! The short mouse in the back, middle position, is obviously Richard Throckmorton III. I’d recognize him anywhere.

  831. Hi Jen, me here. The witchy Julie, just to be clear.

    My entry is:
    Miriam And The Quartet Of Celebration Mice

    We are very partial to fives around here, at my place we call ourselves the Pentacle People. Because we are. So this makes me very happy for you, your own pentad of dressed up British mice. (I googled that, to make sure the word was right, it is.) I bet they sing with an accent. Well, Miriam obviously does. Can’t wait to see her in that new gown.

  832. The dude second from the left, playing the sax.
    His name is Milton Isaac Stephens. He lives in America, and bases himself out of Baton Rouge, but he’s originally from that small province in French speaking Canada.
    He was shunned by his family when he made the decision to follow his passion for the sax, loose women and moonshine rather than take over the family accounting firm. His decision also cost him the love of his life, Isobel, who could not face an uncertain future raising mice on the unreliable wage of a musician.
    By night, he’s a saxual fiend, by day, he wanders shopping precincts, playing songs of lost love to anyone that reminds him of his lost Isobel.
    Steve Harvey (the little dude second from the right) has no time for him, and refuses to stand next to him while they play each night.

  833. I am meant to be doing an agency brief but instead I feel spending at least half an hour brainstorming mouse names instead of single-minded propositions is a much better idea. So here goes:
    The Flutist is: Brunhilda (the perfect name for a mouse in an evening gown I think)
    The Trumpet player is: Barry
    The saxophonist is Basil (named after my uncle who plays the saxophone and is white)
    The trombonist is: Barney
    The conductor is: Bruce

    Nicole xxx

  834. Sassafras Davis!

    I can’t wait for your audiobook to come out! Goooo Jenny!

  835. Rats Domino……I know they’re mice and he played the piano but I like the name!

  836. After childbirth, I developed several large hemorrhoids that I named Billy, Bob, and Ringo. It’s a place to start. Okay, I don’t have good naming ideas for fancy mice but I’m a big fan and I really want a copy of the audio book 🙂

  837. Group name: “Ragina & the Rockin’ Rodettes” (umm, Ragina – like vagina only ROYAL)
    Starring: Ragina, Percy, Nigel, Hamish & Violet
    Why? Because YOU ROCK Sister!

  838. I don’t have a name suggestion because I’m not creative like that. However I want to compliment you on having a super forgiving husband. My hubby flips out when I spend $50 on yarn to knit fairies. I can’t even imagine if I spent $237 on taxidermied mice. Actually, I’d be forced to go back to work which would turn me into a super raging alcoholic because a lot of people get stupid when it comes to their medications. 🙂

  839. Naughty Marietta. She’s the one on the right waiting for her ballgown with the wicked gleam in her eye. That one’s trouble. Watch out, Victor! Here comes Naughty Marietta and UK Invasion!

  840. Looking at the set, I kept thinking of the band that went down with the Titanic, Idk why, but that’s what kept coming to mind. So I suggest the name Wallace Hartley for the conductor, as that was the band leader’s name from the Titanic.

  841. One of these mice should be named Victor. It is very obvious.

    This is how future conversations between you two (you + Victor the Human) would go;

    you: Hey Victor, just FYI? I just bought myself a giant dead Spectacled Crmorant.

    Victor: WTF! Those are extinct! How is that even poss–

    you: Do not be rude Victor. I was talking to mouse Victor.

    Repeat ad nauseum until Victor the Human feels abandoned and unloved, so much even, that he will agree with everything you say in future, as any show of indignation will cause you to talk only to Victor the Mouse.

    You’re welcome. I save relationships on a daily basis with my wisdom.

    … okay relationship, singular, and it might be my own. NOW GIMME!

  842. I think Victor is cranky because you never name any of your taxidermied friends after him. So you could name one Victor and the female could be Victoria. Or Queenie, which is a roundabout way of naming a taxidermied mouse after Victor and he’d never know.

  843. Oh, I should have saved you the baby mice we found in the woods this past weekend. Unfortunately, they all died and we buried them.

    Charles Beuford Mozart the third – that is the conductor’s name

  844. So my daughter has/had 4 rats. Sisters from the same litter. Delilah, Carmel, Dorothy and Jayne. (Jayne, not Jane. Gotta be a “y” because she was named after Jayne Cobb) These pretty little cream and tan rats lived in harmony in a gigantic cage on our upstairs landing for going on 2 years now.

    Anyway, evidently Jayne pissed her sisters off a few weeks ago, so they killed her. AND ATE HER FACE.

    Of course, since I was the only adult in the house (TYVM husband-who-was-working) I had to pull the dearly departed (and faceless) Jayne out of the rat condo and deal with her. Even though my entire being was screaming TRASH CAN OH TRASH CAN PLEASE TRASH CAN, I knew that wouldn’t fly with my daughter. So I lovingly stuffed Jayne in a baggie and put her in the freezer.

    DON’T JUDGE ME. Did I mention THE DEAD RAT HAD NO FACE?

    Jayne has since been laid to rest in a shoebox in the yard. I assisted because I was the only one not worried about breaking the dead, faceless, frozen rat’s tail when I crammed the lid of the box down.

    In light of all of this, I think one of the mice should be named Jayne. Or Dazie, because seriously- it was traumatic.

  845. I want the conductor mouse (the one on the far left) to be the one with the evening gown. Because women who are conductors are cool. And I can hear her screaming, “Dance, as you play, dance!” So her name is Isadora. The others are Nicholas, Oliver, Kingsley, and Jaromil. (He’s from the Czech Republic.)

  846. The Doctor, Captain Jack, Rose, Donna, Martha and the group name could be The Children of Time Signatures.

  847. It’s too bad none of them are playing the violin, then he (or she) could be Nero.

    How about Pinky and the Brain?

    Or The Titanic All Mouse Orchestra? (in honor of the 100h anniversary and all that)

  848. Orpha the flautist,
    Patrick Henry conducts,
    Rufus plays on the sax,
    Ambrose always tromboning,
    Horatio is hard to see.

    See what I did there? Mmm acrostics.
    And/or the group as a whole is called British Infestation.

  849. I think you should name the mouse you are making the evening gown for Lucinda. Seems like a great name for a cross dressing mouse.

  850. I named one of my kitchen mice Octavius because I didn’t mind him pooping on my counter as much that way. You could name them all after the characters of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. OOOOOOORRRRRR your book release present could be ANOTHER troop of mice that are dressed like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang characters. How great would a Grandpa Potts be in his laboratory?

  851. Regardless of who wins, you should name them what Stephanie offered, I think #76… Hanta Fiverus. Awesome.
    I would like to suggest billy bob and the hoedowns.

  852. Because I recently watched pulp fiction: the fox force five! Only instead of fighting crime, they play instruments, and they tell a joke after every performance. Today’s joke:

    Hickory Dickory Dock
    The mice ran up the clock
    Th clock struck one
    But the rest got away.

    (ThankyouI’llbehereallweek)

  853. Lady Mousington Darwymple. For the chick mouse, obvs.

    [While I am no fan of mice, I am coveting those mini-instruments. TOTALLY worth 150 pounds of money – do you know how much boring regular sized instruments cost? THOUSANDS. You got a bargain.]

  854. Basil St. Mousewether

    (P.S. I once turned a girl Barbie into a boy Barbie. I just had too many girls. So my Brooke Shields Barbie became “Brian.” Good eyebrows for it.)

  855. I’d name them Hartley, Brailey, Bricoux, Clarke, and Hume. Why? They are the names of the band members aboard the Titanic.

  856. Gotta go with “Moose” short for mus musculus (the dreaded, untaxidermied house mouse).

  857. 1. Twine Q. Spatula
    2. Collated Blankenpage
    3. Destiny’s Stepchild
    4. Captain Tightpants
    5. Romulan Cloakingdevice-Jones

  858. It’s a boy band…shouldn’t they all be named after a boy band or group? The Osmonds, The Monkeys, or maybe The Jackson 5 would make them less racist! Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael Mouse & you don’t have to make a dress! Better yet, you can buy another one and tell Victor you NEEDED Janet to balance out the boys.

  859. One of Five
    Two of Five
    Three of Five
    Four of Five
    Five of Five

    Band name: Locutus

  860. Lord Peter Wimsey
    great fictional character, very musical, one of his middle names is Death,
    and family coat of arms is a sable, 3 mice courant, argent; crest, a domestic cat couched as to spring. The family motto, displayed under its coat of arms, is “As My Whimsy Takes Me.”
    Take that Victor.

  861. 1. Muridae Murinae Mus musculus
    2. Yersinia Pestis
    3. InAbsentia Higgs-Bosson
    4. Scooby Snack
    5. Dick Wheaton

  862. The Benny Mouseman Quintet:
    Benny Mouseman
    Maus Krupa
    Zoot Souris
    Thelonious Mysz
    Mary Lou Myshi

    (words for mouse used in names are German, French, Polish, Russian)

  863. Mischa von Elfmouse
    Mice Davis

    Also – can I make a request that the evening gown be a traveling red dress. I realize for a proper orchestra it should be black, but hey – you are, technically, the Orchestral Patroness so you can make it any color you want.

    Also also – make sure Victor understands that if you weren’t allowed on the internet, it would cease to exist. Really. No fooling.

  864. This was the most amazing thing to wake up to this morning. I vote you name them Alex Trebek, Pat Sajak, Bob Barker, John Hurley, and…I don’t know what you’re going to name the female mouse. Because I can’t recall any famous female gameshow hosts. Such a disappointment in the campaign for equality…

  865. Maestro Bubo and His Amazing Plagued Orchestra
    (I know the plague was from rats, but still)
    -or-
    Stuart and the Little Big Jazz Band

  866. Musculus quartet? I’m not great at naming things, my husband is though. But he’s not home. So my sad attempt will have to do.

    I read through some of the comments and saw the story about the rats who ate Jayne. I had a mouse do that. I had Pot and Kettle for almost a year, when Kettle killed and ate part of Pot. I was in much shock. I gave away Kettle, I couldn’t deal with him looking at me with those evil little eyes.
    Apparently, rodents will do that in confined spaces sometimes. Even after a long time of living together.

  867. This screams to be called the “South Gloucester Quartet featuring renowned conductor Tiddles”

  868. Wolfgang Baladi
    Ludolf Munster
    Marcel Gubeen
    Kaspar Romano
    and
    Lady Theodora Le Fium Orbo (She is the patroness of the band but also plays because she just loves music so much. She is excellent company so the rest of the lads don’t mind in the least. Her and Marcel have a past but they don’t talk about it. The music is everything now.)

  869. Sir Horace von Ukulele and his Quaffing Castrati. I swear I saw some tiny mugs stashed behind the chairs.

  870. Bandleader – Wallace
    Instrumentalists – Percy (would look lovely in a gown), Theodore (could be Teddy and you could go a different route with the clothing selection 🙂 ), Roger and George

    (The other three guys were all named John, which is a terrible mouse name.)

    These were the names of 5 of the 8 band members who played till the Titanic sank. They kept playing despite what was happening around them. I get that impression from this group too. I think they will play on no matter what events occur in their presence.

  871. Maestro Pietro de Medicheese, with his wife Clara and the Formaggio Four.

    I love you for making these things funny instead of creepy.

  872. Oops, didn’t get the website thing (obviously) but I still like this name:
    Lucky Nubs McHalf-a-Paw

  873. Zingelbert Bembledack
    Yingybert Dambleban
    Zangelbert Bingledack
    Wingelbert Humptyback
    Slut Bunwalla

    Gerry Dorsey and the Discarded Stagenames.

  874. Does the guy in the upper right have a trumpet? If so, he should be Mouse Davis.
    The guy on Sax could be Mousel Allen or Branford Mousalis.

  875. It absolutely HAS to be (for the female) Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance – I am absolutely sure she would be honored!

  876. General Zod and the Phantom Zones

    or

    Bowtie Larry and the Time Lords

    or

    Pomp and the Circumstances

  877. I think they should be named after Monty Python guys with with micey names : Eric Fival (instead of Idle), John Cheese (Cleese), Graham Crumbman (Chapman), Michael Lumberjack , (have no good mouse name for Palin), and the one in the dress to be just Terry, a tribute to both the Terrys: Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones, and because they are always funny in drag!!
    Love to you and the awesome mice!!

  878. I think you should name at least one Wallace Hartley, in honor of the leader of the band on the Titanic in this the 100 year anniversary of said maritime disaster…

    and maybe Leo DiCaprio for another, just to maintain a theme

  879. Big Bad Rodent Daddy

    Cheesetown Squeak Orchestra

    They look like they play Big Band music to me…. I can totally hear Tiny Bubbles or something jazzy and swingin’. *giggles* I’m sure Victor will grow to love them. Have you thought of turning them into a music box? I think that would be fantastic.

  880. oooh. I was going to blow a brain cell trying to come up with a name, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Jason’s Titanic names.

  881. Lilly Von Schtupp and The Bob Quartette, featuring Sheamus McBobbery, Bob Papadakis, Bobenstein, Lord Mortimer Bobbicus Lichtenstein III.

  882. So this may seem too obvious. But you could name them after the members of The Rat Pack. Frank, Dean, Sammy, Peter/Joey and then for the girl you could name her Marilyn. Have fun!

  883. I love your mousies… ?

    For names…

    Rodentdendron for the musical group.

    Bianca Everfuzzy for the girlie mouse.

  884. Commodore Schmidlap.
    That’s the name in waiting for our future cat, whose existence is uncertain as my huz has allergies. It’s a Batman (Adam West) tribute, so christening one of the mice this way could impart super powers. I’m just saying…

  885. How about “Squeal Patrick Harris”…just so he doesn’t get confused with the real NPH.

  886. Jenny, I don’t have a name for your mouse band (except a very, very old 1980s joke about two cats watching a mouse poop where one cat says, “Mao,” and the other says, “Mousie dung.”). But I do know you should probably buy a copy of Rebecca West’s semi-autobiographical novel The Fountain Overflows solely for the description halfway through of glass case holding an audience of taxidermied stoats in a bleacher, each identifiable as a leading member of the British Royal House of the early 1900s.

    West was a fabulous writer, but there is no way she just invented that off the top of her head–it makes no sense whatsoever in the story. She must simply have had a real uncle with a real glass case full of very specifically taxidermied stoats.

  887. I love the “Neil Patrick Harris” suggestion, but it’s missing something. Maybe “Neil Patrick Harris Spock Lizard”?

  888. You know – they look like the band playing “Nearer My Mouse God To Thee,” or something (accounts vary) as the mouse Titanic went down.

    My naming faculties are sluggish this morning, but I will make a suggestion. Perhaps you could call the grouping “the HMS (the M stands for Mouse) Titanic shipboard band in its last moments”. You could probably come up with a shorter, cleverer version, or an acronym.

  889. Mouseheim Steamroller presents:

    Gustav Mouser
    Thomas Tails
    Cheesetine Daae
    Gouda Gershwin

    with guest conductor, Sir Monterey Jack

  890. The Glenn Meeser Orchestra performing Mouselvania 6-5000
    …MOUSELVANIA SIX FIVE OH OH OH!

  891. I don’t know about a name, but when I look at the picture, all I can think of is the Harry Chapin song “Dance Band on the Titanic.” And since the memorial voyage launched today… and since the Titanic sunk 100 years ago… it seems rather appropriate.

  892. Wallace, John Wesley, John Fredrick, Percy and Theodore – The names of the guys in the band that played as the Titanic went down. The 100th anniversary is just in a few days! Woo for history geeks!

  893. I tried living a witty comment with an awesome name, but it ended up somewhere on some post I’ve never seen all by itself as the only comment and now I’m internet shamed. WAY TO BRING DOWN MY DAY, SELF.

  894. How about Crumpet Rodentia. They are so fancy one of them must be named Crumpet. You could even name another after a tea, like Jasmine or Earl or Oolong. Oh the possibilites are endless.
    PS got my signed name plate and LOVE it! I’m not sure where to put it though. I didn’t think about how having a Kindle limited my ability to stick the name plate to an actual book. Was this a way to con me into buying two books? One Kindle preordered and now I must buy a hardback to stick my name plate to? Maybe I’ll just frame it and hang it over our mantle for a conversation starter….

  895. I think they should be named Groucho, Harpo, Chico, Zeppo and Margaret Dumont.

  896. Whether or not you chose the names, somehow you have to incorporate Andrew’s back story into the vignette. The sad, romantic tale of Lady Theodora and Marcel broke my heart. That they overcome their past for the sake of the music is uplifting.

  897. Well, really, it should be the Wil Wheaton 5. Because he is so supportive.

    And I also hope you make the evening dress RED. (Cos, DUH.)

    And i wonder if you have a whole room dedicated to all your taxidermied items. Do you keep them in Victor’s office, maybe? That would be a nice place I bet. Then they could look out at Beyonce if you haven’t moved her away from Victor’s window. Just a thought.

  898. You need to offer printable “Don’t Worry; I’m just reading The Bloggess” things that I can glue onto the paper bag I need to carry with me when reading this shit because I damn near hyperventilate when you aggravate Victor and I really need people to know I’m laughing, not dying.

  899. The Dead Presidents (of course!): Roosevelt, Lincoln, Garfield (which is a great name for a mouse, teeming w/ irony!), Nixon, and Hoover.

    (“pick me, pick me, pick me” says this little mouse!!!)

  900. Lady Esmeralda Mousenbaum

    Also, you make me with I was born a man named Victor.

  901. The conductor is the great Umberto Ravanelli, and, in case you’ve been living under a rock, he’s been having a torrid affair with the Honourable Lady Guinevere Snuffles (the one you’ll be making a, no doubt, fabulous evening gown for). Their romance has been the talk of all the society pages, here in London, and one imagines flitting to the Americas will only add to the furore. It’s the saxophone player, Bunny Nibbleworth, that I feel most for. To think, only last year he was romancing the daughter of a Viscount.

  902. Sheldon Cooper and The Magical Horned Murder of Mice

    Of Mice and Narwhals.

  903. They are clearly a Spanish quintet. They are “Los Cinco Ratoncitos Blancos y Elegantes.” On their days off they become “The Mariachi Mice.”

  904. So yesterday I saw a dead baby bird on the sidewalk- it was soo perfect and it made me sad to see it laying there- but this is the truth, I turned to my friend and said- I wish I could stuff it and put a dress on it and send it to the bloggess because she would love it. (I think I am losing my mind.) Any-hoo……my name for the mice is- Snake buffet.

  905. The ensemble should be called “Collating Twine”, and you should replace the conductor’s baton with a spatula.

  906. Fritz, Fratz, Peanuckle, and Spud. And the Lady Mouse is Calliope. You’re welcome.

  907. Thirty Pounds Each
    Seven Point Five Per Paw
    Mo (but only for the one second from the left)
    Gordon Lightpaw
    Lawson’s Fabulous Five
    We’re Not Racists, We’re Fancy

  908. Not sure if it is too late to enter… I would totally give them all epic musical genius names (all dead guys).

    Examples:
    Males –
    Mozart
    Bach (or Johann)
    Vivaldi
    Humperdinck!
    Schumann
    Debussy
    etc…

    Female –
    Gubaidulina (epic name)

  909. Mr. Tinkles would be the one playing the grand piano… you do have a baby baby grand, right?
    Alternatively, Mr. Tinkles could be the frustrated pianist who also happens to be a flautist.
    😀
    Yay for dead things!

  910. John Singer Sargeant. I know he was a painter, and these are clearly musical mice. But really? The name itself is quite musical. 🙂

  911. I like ‘Claude.’ Or alternately, “Clawed.”

    You remind me of Steve Carrell’s character in Dinner for Schmucks, with all of his mousterpieces.

  912. I thought of Mad Men when I saw these mice- so the 4 men mice could be Sterling, Cooper, Draper and Price. The lady mouse could be Joan- think of a mouse with a little red wig!

  913. My goodness, I feel it may be too late. But my own submission:
    Sir Dante Chigglesworth

    You are welcome, my dear

  914. Lady Whiskers of Squeekncheeze (the Third)

    Love your posts!!! You are a fantastic writer and I love reading all your twitter updates and your blogs. I can’t wait to read your book!!!

  915. The At Least We Weren’t Murdered During a Medical Experiment Quartet, with guest conductor Thor Lipschitz.

  916. Found a taxidermied squirrel today–it’s playing putt-putt golf on its little stand. I thought of you.

  917. My apologies if this has already been taken, but I see WhiskerLES Brown and his Band of Renown. (Gotta go back a few *cough* years for that one.) 🙂

  918. Lady Guinevere (or Genevieve) & the Knights of the Round Table – Lancelot, Arthur, Mordred & Galahad.

  919. Because I think Victor needs a say in naming the band – “Grand Theft Orchestra”.. because his change drawer has been raided by this group of orchestral mice..

    As an aside, I hope you never stop buying ethically taxidermied animals (love the honey badger and snake one especially)..

    Also, the football team I play in just love my “unicorn success club” t-shirt.. let’s hope the shirt helps bring success to us this season.. xo xo

  920. Bernard – with the Brit pronunciation. (Bernud). I tried to name a dog that once. Didn’t stick.

  921. Our Lady of Brie & Bleu
    Myka
    Brahmstinson
    The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Whiskers
    Penelope Von Ulrichstein
    Guadalupe Francesca Maria Teresa Moustinez Raton

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