Depression lies

in more than meets the eye

I’ve had a lot more emails than usual about depression/anxiety, which I think means a full moon is coming or possibly that we’re all on the same psychotic cycle because I’ve fought my share of demons this month myself.  In fact, today I had a monster of a panic attack that made me think I’d never come back out.  It’s not so fun to write about so I made a video to send to people asking me about it and I thought I’d share it here in case you needed it. It’s long and unedited so feel free to skip it if you don’t have mental issues.

On a related note, you can make a free DEPRESSION LIES bracelet by clicking here (video instructions included).  Make one for yourself or a friend.

We’re all in this together, y’all.

583 thoughts on “Depression lies”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Sending you love and ass kicking ability to get past anxiety/depression. They are lying to you, you are amazing.

  2. the important thing is that the accomplishment remains, no matter how your body tells you to feel about it.

  3. We are all in it together and the best thing for it is friends and laughter!!
    You supply a lot of that!!!
    “When you find yourself going through Hell, keep going”

  4. Its amazing how it just builds up like that. I’m sorry for your eruption. You look fantastic in that dress though.

  5. I wanted to tell you that my husband had a panic attack the other night and because I read your blog and recently your book, I was able to empathize with him better and help him handle it better. Hearing the honesty and “logical explanation” from you about how it felt and how others’ reactions made you feel was a huge help. I feel anxiety and panic myself but never a true panic attack.

  11. So it’s not just me? My depression has definitely been messing with me the last few weeks. Thanks Jenny, as always you’re an inspiration.

  12. I have it too. Add a cherry on top called Palendromic Rheumatism: much like RA) and you have my life in a nutshell.
    But I must remember I have friends & family and a son, all of whom love me no matter what. Plus, I know that this too shall pass…
    Love you Jenny!! Your book is amazing!

  14. Bipolar Type II in the house. THANK YOU Jenny for speaking so honestly and openly and bringing LOVE, not stigma, to the discussion of mental illness. Also – be gentle with yourself. Even the most awesome of times and accomplishments can be huge triggers for our kind. 🙂

  16. Stupid depression. Doesn’t it know that you are a Best Selling Author now?

  21. You are an unbelievable woman. Even in the midst of your own fear, you look for a way to help others. Bravo Madame Bloggess. You kick big fat ass!

  23. I didn’t watch that. I just wanted to tell you that you went to college in San Angelo at the same time as the one I refer to as my “crazy ex.” And since you were both gothy outcasts, you probably knew at least of each other. Now I’m only 2 degrees from you.

    Katy Del

  24. Depression sucks. I have my own bouts with it. I get what they call “depersonalization” sometimes where I feel like I’m not in my own body. Had it since I was 10.

  27. I don’t know how you have done all that you’ve done. The book and the tour would overwhelm me to the point of fetal position in a dark closet.

    I got “love,” in the languages of my ancestors tattooed on my arm because of the “To Write Love on Her Arms” movement. I try to look at it to remind me of hope and love, but sometimes, the depression and anxiety still get the better of me.

  29. Sometimes, even though I know it’s a liar, I can’t help but listen to it. It’s been one of those days. Thanks for reminding me. Maybe I can quit listening now. Nice to know I’m not alone.

  30. I actually just linked tour depression video on my last blog. You have no idea how many times I’ve watched it when I felt like giving up. Thank you.

  31. I just keep swimming. I have the depression under control but the anxiety is about to get me.

    I need to change drs. As mine believes no meds at all.

    Love you, Jenny!

  32. Thanks for this post. I was deep in it last night. It is hard to remember that depression is a lying bitch, when depression is winning.

    Thank you for putting it out there. It is nice to have a place to come and cry and relate.

  33. Good for you for speaking out. I applaud your strength and honesty. You are going to start hearing from tons of people whom you have just helped. Your heart will thank you, as do I. xoxo

  34. I needed this right now. I think i’m going to make the bracelet and put a post it over my laptop saying “I’m glad i’m broken” – Thanks!

  35. It absolutely sucks that you have to be dealing with this now, when you should be celebrating the awesome success of your book. Hang in there! You have no idea how many people are rooting for you!

  36. I also suffer from Depression, anxiety. I have been really honest with my friend and family about it and I’ve had a lot of friends ask me about therapy because they wondered if they should see some one but were too scared. I always tell them, think of therapy as a spa for your brain. After you talk you feel cleansed, renewed and a little freer.

  37. You are so lovely. I found your blog last week and have spent so many hours reading your archives and being amazed by all your highs and lows. What has really struck home to me are your posts about anxiety and depression. I’ve suffered from depression for over 20 years, but what’s new to me is the anxiety, which I started getting about a year ago and has become more and more crippling to me. Just reading about your struggles has reminded me that I’m not alone. I took myself off medication seven months ago and I now realize that I just don’t think I can function much longer without it – so I’ll be getting myself back to the doctor soon. You are brave, thank you for reminding me that I can be too.

  38. Right there with you! Depression been kicking my butt lately…. helps to know we are all in this together!

  39. THANK YOU!!! When I finally got on anti-depressants I realized what “normal” felt like. For decades I was depressed and didn’t know what was WRONG WITH ME! Then I discovered that nothing was “wrong” with me. I just had to find the right meds and adjust to a different kind of “normal.” Again, THANK YOU! You are a true inspiration to the rest of us struggling to just get through the day without having a meltdown. 🙂

  40. Thanks as always for speaking out! I don’t suffer too badly, but I have friends who do.

  43. One step, One breath at a time! Keep looking forward, the only thing behind you is satan with a dagger in this claw!

  44. I wish I could stop believing it when it tells me that nobody wants to hear my problems and it would rather I just check out than burden them.

  45. Given everything that you have done in the past few weeks, it’s not surprising that you had a panic attack. Look at you have done these past few weeks, book signings, meeting so many people, speaking in front of crowds and you have from all accounts done so with confidence, poise and grace.

    The demons lie and you have done more than many people will ever do to help others.

    Stay strong.

    BTW, this might help… http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2012-04-30/doctor-who-fans-here%27s-your-chance-to-own-a-tardis

  46. I’ve fought both depression and anxiety, myself. And I’ve lost a couple of friends to depression. It definitely does lie but it’s so hard to remember that in the throes of it. Keep fighting! We’re all rooting for you!

  47. I have to keep reminding myself of that – DEPRESSION LIES.
    I dont get anxiety to go with it, instead I get scared of the world.
    I’ll get there. So will you.

  48. I wish I had your courage…I work retail rather than trying to do something I’d really be passionate about.

  50. My Depression Vampire reared its ugly fucking fanged head last night right at bedtime. I was up all night and nearly useless at work today, bursting into tears at everything. I know Depression is an evil liar and it feels good (??) that others know that too. Thank you for your honesty, Jenny. You’re beautiful.

  51. Also, I love that you equate taking behavioral health drugs with diabetes or heart meds. This is something I tell people ALL THE TIME who are all “No it means I’m broken, taking the drugs is a weakness”.

    Thank you. I adore you. I must remember this video the next time my depression hits and I worry about my husband taking care of my broken down body in 30 years and think that I shouldn’t stick around.

  52. I listened to your book recently. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I absolutely loved it! It is witty, kind, warm-hearted, and has many laugh-out-loud moments. I am sad to have finished it. It’s like when a best friend comes to visit and then has to leave. I definitely will be listening to it again.

    And the portions about depression are so painfully honest, and for that, you deserve all the happiness life has to offer!

    Well, you deserve that anyway. I am impatiently awaiting the next book! I am wishing you all the happiness in the world!

  53. I’ve been saying all semester that there has been some bad juju in my part of the world. Everyone I know who struggles with these issues–myself included–has been having a tough time. Sharing the lifeboat with others who struggle makes the paddling a little easier; it’s nice to put down the oars for a bit.

    Hang in there, Bloggess.

  55. Hey Jenny (and everybody else who likes to read & post here). Yeah I’ve been there too. Damn thing is one day I got better. Ok, I’m still an utter whack job, but I’ll certainly say this: I’ve gained tremendous empathy for people in this situation. If you’re being treated, please please stay with your doctor. If you’re having trouble please please seek treatment, things can get better. It isn’t any shame to ask for help and things can only improve. But you have to seek out the help. I don’t want to dish out advice because I am in no way qualified, so please don’t ask what the heck made me get better. I honestly don’t know. Time I guess, and the cycle had a chance to break.

    Anyway, much support to you and wishing you well.

  56. I have suffered with 24/7 anxiety and severe panic attacks for over 20 years. I’ve tried everything western to heal. It hasn’t worked. I have turned to Traditional Chinese Medicine and gone meatless and I rarely have panic attacks now. It has to do with digestion, in my case but I think most anxiety is connected to the gut.
    It is so amazing that I still don’t believe the relief. I don’t even carry my Xanax any more. Hate that stuff.
    Hang in there Jenny!
    Love to you.

  61. “…feel free to skip over if you don’t have mental issues.” You’re so cute! 🙂

  62. I’m a psychiatric social worker and work mostly in the ER. Thanks for the website, I had never heard of it.

  63. I do think there’s something going on, because I had a big ‘ol crying fit today myself. Could be that my husband’s been working for two weeks straight, or that I’ve only really slept about three of those nights, or some combination of the two. Here’s to hoping everyone wakes up on the right side of the bed tomorrow morning, or at least a slightly brighter side.

  64. Man, something must be in the air. I had a really bad panic/crying attack today too. And now I’m crying like a little girl from the message at the end. Good tears, though, I think.

  65. So very brave.

    I come here so often for your wit and leave having seen your heart. Brava.

  66. I love the way you finished the video. “Don’t leave.”

    You’re the best. Thank you for helping make it OK to talk about mental illness.

  67. I love you. You make me furiously happy. As a mental health professional, I want to share this with everyone. Thank you.

  68. Also…I may need to bookmark this to remind myself…I am very broken, but people do love me…for whatever reason. I think it may be because I can drive a five-speed…

    I’m passing this on to the people I love…so they can either get a better grasp of how I feel, or to keep them from leaving.

    Thank you.

  69. You’re the best for bringing this subject up and sharing what you feel with everyone. I’m sure that it will be a huge inspiration to a lot of people who really look up to you! 🙂

  70. “Don’t leave” is just what I needed to hear, so I’m saying it back. Don’t leave.

  71. I know everyone’s saying it, but it bears repeating: You are amazing. Absolutely amazing, and I am in drop-dead awe of you. I haven’t got a third your balls with far less problems, so — let me say it again. AMAZING.

  72. One of the biggest lies of depression is that it should be shameful and hidden. I recently went to a prayer session at my church (not as kooky as it may sound—no snake handlers or anything like that!) just as moral support for a friend who wanted prayer for a broken leg. When someone asked to pray for me, I ended up telling three different women about my struggles with depression, anxiety, and resulting sleeplessness, and I received prayer from each of them.

    And you know what? Nearly everyone is very respectful of people who admit stuff like this. It’s so hard to tell other people about depression and fears, but often they admire you when you do. So I think you are awesome, Jenny, to write so much about it and tweet it and make videos about it, because it’s totally counter-intuitive when you’re in the thick of it (at least it is for me). We’re all behind you!

  74. So glad to know that you are out there believing in all of us, who fiercely believe in you too. I needed this today, it feels like a life preserver tossed in a raging sea.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing yourself with the world and helping to light the way for all who feel lost. you are truly amazing!

  75. What helps? Chocolate (Dementors=Depression). The right prescribed antidepressant. Sunshine. Bruce Springsteen or U2 at top volume. MOnty Python. Vitamin D–highly recommended by my shrink. We are all likely VERY deficient, and I have found that since I started taking 50000 IU per day (doc’s orders, not just something I made up), my overall anxiety level is MUCH better. Rest–just enough, but not too much. Some quiet time, but not too much. Breathing exercises.

  76. You’re right, people are scared of what they don’t know and of what they are unable to fully comprehend.
    I like how you said you’re glad you’re broken. We’re all broken. Some in some ways, some in others, but we’re all broken.
    Thank you for being such an inspiration. It’s hard. So thank you.

    And I won’t leave if you don’t leave. Deal?

  78. I had horrifying panic attacks for over a year. Then it turned out that some of them were caused by the very medication that was supposed to help make them go away. And what sucked is that as soon as my life straightened out and calmed down, that’s when they got worse. It’s like the panic attacks don’t want to let you go. They would even startle me out of a sound sleep, and then I’d be up for hours googling stuff all night because I couldn’t sleep with all the heart palpitations and anxiety.

    Depression does lie. So does anxiety.

    Hang in there…we’ve got your back. We also have chocolate. Oh and Xanax, too.

    I wonder if they make chocolate-covered Xanax…?

  79. Yeah…maybe it is something in the air. Today wasn’t a good day for me either.

    By the way, and I’m sure you’ve heard this 1 brazillion times already, I love your book. I’m sorry I missed you when you were in NYC.

  80. Love to you, Jenny. You’ve done *SO* much for others and karma will bring goodness back to you.

  81. Amazing, amazing post. You are amazing and inspiring and such a grounding voice for so many people. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly and honestly. Don’t leave.

  82. Thank you for posting this. I will add your video to a long list of things I read/watch when the depression hits the worse. There is a quote from Shakespeare that my writing professor told me about when I told him about the depression I’ve been dealing with. It is, “Give sorrow words: The grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

    Depression and anxiety need to be vocalized. Thank you for being strong enough to tell the truth, even when I am unable to.

  83. I LOVE that you continue to help others through this. It is so important to get help. It took my kids getting old enough to need to be socialized more for me to finally drag my ass in and ask for meds for my social anxiety. Talk Therapy + meds, and it’s still tough, but it’s manageable. We ARE worth it. All my love Jenny, keep doing what you do girlie.

  84. I have been thinking about this for the last 4 days. Better make that all consumed. I placed in a national art contest. I expected them to notify me that they’d made a mistake. I’m still obsessively checking my inbox.

  85. What has helped me recently has been being 110% honest about my depression. I’ve been lying to myself about my problem and hiding it from my friends, which has made me feel more isolated. Saturday, when my mood was at my absolute low, I talked to all my friends, told them I was having a bad mood day and they were there for me. Especially for young adults, the stigma of mental illness is slowly breaking apart and being honest about having a problem is okay. Those who love you and care for you will understand you’re just sick and will pick you up when you’re down.

    I also pull myself out of bed, put on make up (to make me feel pretty) and look in the mirror and tell myself that what I’m feeling is a lie. I am a great person with great potential. I am not alone. This becomes my mantra on those days and shut my brain up from trying to lie to me.

    Jenny, you are awesome for having the courage to speak out and to give the rest of us courage. You are my hero.

  86. I just wanted to add that I love what you have to say but for the life of me, I can’t make it past the point where you say the people around you (me) want you (me) to be there (around 9:30-ish). Makes me cry every time I try to watch the whole video. No matter whether or not I feel my depression is under control through meds, I feel I’ve let everyone I love down. I don’t like attracting attention to myself and feeling like people are focused on my mental health is even worse. I love my partner and our daughter and don’t want them to suffer because of my issues. Bluh. Just bluh. Anyhoo, love your book!

  87. That was a moving and beautiful video. I’m sending the link to a friend who is suffering. Don’t leave us!!!

  88. This video is SO important. You have done so much for so many people. So, if you are tired of hearing how brave and amazing your are (seriously who ever gets tired of that?) then just hear it one more time. Loving someone who suffers, it was a long road to fully understand what you have just said. I wish I had heard this years ago before it was under control. You are making a huge difference. Be proud.

  89. Darn you, you made me cry.
    “You are important” – I think thats almost as important a message as “depression lies”.

    My saving grace has to be my friends. I have several who, if I am having a bad day, I can call them up and we will go out for coffee or whatever, and they will work their hardest to distract me, and make me laugh. Once I am laughing, the day feels better straight away.

    Even though I had a really excellent day yesterday, and a not-bad day so far today, I still needed this. Thankyou.

  91. thank you, Jenny.
    I keep telling myself to “keep pushing forward” even when I’m frozen, unable to get out of bed, unable to go to work, and eventually, I’m able to rise…..even if it’s late in the evening. At least that awful feeling of fear and anxiety has passed.

  92. THANK YOU for reminding me that it’s not just me. (And now that seems like a terrible thing to say “Thanks for being miserable so I’m not the only one who’s miserable.” But I think you get what I mean.)

  93. So true! We all serve a pupose here and we all matter! I must say that you have helped me gain the courage to talk to my doctor and realize I have PMDD which isn’t as bad as full blown depression but it really REALLY sucks! I was put on cymbalta and found out it didn’t just help out once a month it helped all the time. I didn’t realize how I angry, sad, just moody I was all month long until the pills kicked in and I felt clear headed. I would go month after month where I would have bad days and open the phone book and just sit with my head in my hands telling myself to call then not call because “I can get through this.” I could but I suffered for it and eventually it started to effect my husband and children and I needed to do it for them too. They didn’t deserve my attitude and neither did I AND NEITHER DO YOU dear reader. Talk to someone, anyone and everyone until you get help! Life can get better.

  94. Depression is a lying liar who lies. No matter what depression says, DON’T LEAVE!!! Thanks, Jenny, for being you.

  95. I <3 you. And now I'm even more pissed that I didn't get to hug your neck in San Angelo because I was too busy crying in bed.

  96. Thank you Jenny. You may have saved someone tonight. Not me. I’m dealing. But someone somewhere may have been as touched as I was watching this. You are so loved.

  97. You are amazingly beautiful. Thank you for being you.
    Have you seen Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talk? Quite fitting for you, I think. <3

  99. Thank you. I have some serious health issues and have always dismissed some things as being related to those issues. The last few months things have just been off and your video made me start looking into things and it turns out that I could be suffering from severe depression and anxiety issues. Going to bring it up at my doctor’s appointment this week. You are wonderful!

  100. The amount of kick assery that you have just displayed can never be matched. You will always be one of my greatest heroes Jenny Lawson. You’re amazing and I love you girl!!

  101. Love you even more Jenny, you are not alone! Been there done that, got a T shirt… is a daily struggle to breathe sometimes but I’m working on it. Hope you feel better soon too. Keep up the good work maybe if ppl who like you see that this is a struggle for you, they won’t judge others around them who have the same problems!!! God bless your heart and your broken mind. Sincerely Melzora L Towne

  102. Thank you. Thank you for being the amazing person you are and thank you for sharing your truth, which so often can be a terrifying endeavor. I’ve suffered deep loss as a result of untreated/poorly treated depression. Someday I hope to be brave enough to share my story without the shame. You help me get there. Thank you.

  104. You just accomplished an incredible book tour. That is freakin’ amazing! Your book is awesome. I have an anxiety disorder and struggle with it in a daily basis. So the fact you were able to publish the book AND promote it just inspires me. None of us is perfect and we’re all doing the best we can. The important thing is to keep doing the best you can, even on the days your brain is lying to you. Take care. <3

  105. Jenny,
    I will play this for Alice tomorrow…there is something in the air…you are right.
    Thank you and please remember…Don’t leave.
    M

  106. Thank you for posting this, Jenny–you are so right (speaking as a fellow anxiety/depressive/you name it)! Thank you for reminding us that our brains are not always right; it can be so hard to separate fact from fiction when in the throes of an attack, as you mention. And your blog & your book, etc. give me–and I’m sure many others like me–so much hope and inspiration, because you demonstrate such a good balance of acknowledging the stuff you can’t help (like your struggles today, may they pass quickly), while at the same time forging ahead in spite of them. I think I would go hide in a closet before I would be able to go on book signings or on interviews–I am in awe of your courage! Thanks again.

  107. I want you there, Jenny. We can be beautifully broken together. Thank you.
    ?

  110. I just wanted to say thank you – for this video, for your book, for everything.
    I’ve suffered with anxiety disorders my entire life, and it’s hard. But knowing that there are other people out there with similar problems, who are able to work through them, gives me hope.

  111. Thank you for the video, sweety… I have a few things that help… ativan, of course… and sean beeson’s album on itunes ‘ivory dreams’… and also i found a company that makes essential oils that get to your SPIRIT, go to doterra.com and sign up, they are an MLM company, sorry about that lol but it’s the best way for them to get word out on their product… i just signed up as a customer to get discounts, so i can’t sign you up under me i don’t think…

  114. Jenny,
    You rock! Thank you for being so honest and so open about your battles with mental illness. It’s honestly made it easier for me to deal with depression too.
    I have to say that the depression closet was probably the harder closet to exit for me.
    And I was just curious…. are you aware of any men that provide such a strong figure of surviving all this crap? Or are we proving ourselves the weaker sex again in not being able to step up to the plate?

  115. Recently dx from depression to bipolar. My team of doctors and therapist are changing my med cocktail and every day I feel broken or damaged but I am so glad you are still here and I am still here! Keep fighting these nasty cycles.

  116. I think maybe you’re getting more emails about this because people are reading your book and realize that the way you feel resonates with them. Your bravery and honesty in discussing this stuff so openly is inspiring. Look at everything you’ve accomplished, you’re extremely inspiring. I think a lot of people recognize you as a kindred spirit, with whom they can speak very honestly.

    Also, I totally feel less crazy when I read your stuff! /compliment!

  117. I think you are amazing. I am lucky to only suffer from mild anxiety, which is controlled by medication. Watching your video, I know without a doubt that you are relatable and truthful. An awesome combination. Thank you for being you, broken and whole.

  119. You are amazing. Completely amazing. Thank you for sharing this…I’m sure it wasn’t easy. As someone who struggles with depression on a monthly basis, I can understand a bit of what you go through. (((HUGS)))

  121. Thank you for being so open about your depression and panic and self-harm. One of the lies my depression tells me is that I am the only person who feels this way, that I am broken and that no one will ever understand or love me because of this…and knowing that someone else hurts the way I do makes it easier for me to fight that feeling, that awful “wouldn’t the perfect world be better without broken you?” feeling.

  122. I’ve had depression before, but lately I’ve had a lot of anxiety, too (the last couple of weeks involved hiding in the bathroom at work and having panic attacks… I LOVE my job, so it’s not that?) Reading your blog and book at least helped me recognize what was going on. That was a big help! I’m not dying, just flipping out. I went to my doc and she refused to give me meds. Told me to meditate twice a day. I have three kids aged 5 & under and I work full time. Some days I don’t get to brush my hair, much less meditate! I’m doing my best to just keep going.

  124. Yes. Yes, that too. Yup, I’ve felt like that as well. Uh huh. :tears: Yup. Yes, therapy does help. That’s right. Yes, exactly. Yeah, me too, Jenny.
    It’s like you are talking right at me. Why shouldn’t I respond this way?
    Depression is a fucking bitch whore I’d like to stab in the neck.

    Thank you, Jenny. So very much.

  127. Wow. It is so great to have someone who isn’t a doctor or a research person talk about what it’s like to have depression and anxiety, and to reinforce the fact that you don’t have to suffer alone. Mental and emotional disorders are so hidden in society and yet everyday, I mean EVERY day we come into contact with people who are silently being held prisoner by their own selves. ‘Normal’ people don’t even realize that their lives are impacted by it too and that they may be sleeping next to or working next to someone who just needs to hear words like “you matter” and “don’t be ashamed” and “I don’t understand fully, but I’m here for you”. Thank you for telling all of us that we matter, Jenny. I truly appreciate it.

  129. Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel totally alone with these thoughts.

  130. I love this… not like I’m happy you’re living with it, but that I’m happy that you openly talk about it. And the timing is cool, because I just wrote some about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I have just signed up to do this amazing walk in San Francisco for Suicide Prevention. I hope you have a better day tomorrow… {hugs}

  131. I feel for you! I believe I had double depression which, from what I read, was a mix of major depression and chronic depression. It was REALLY bad in high school. I should have gone to see a doctor, but didn’t until I was getting over it. I had depression issues for about 13 years, which was about half of my life. I grew up not truly knowing what good feelings were. It was soooo freaking confusing when I started to have good feelings for the ‘first’ time. I was very confused and disoriented. I still have some anxiety issues but I’m slowly getting through them. Therapy helps! Go get help if you have issues! Believe me!

  132. I needed that. I don’t suffer from depression, but my mother-in-law does. She had a head injury a couple of years ago that triggered her first real swing with it. It has been hard for us to know how to help. We just want her to understand that, regardless of how she feels about herself that day, we love her and want to be around her. She hides from us so that she can put the bad under a microscope while hiding the good away.
    I’ve never understood why mental illness was hidden when what it most needs is light. Thank you for the light you shine. May it ever glow.

  134. That was incredibly brave and honest and needed. I am in the middle of listening to your audio book now and I have come close to having to pull the car over a few times because laughing that hard while driving is not really safe. But that you are open and help people be unashamed of mental illness — no more than they would be of diabetes — is truly priceless.

  135. YOU GO GIRL!! And yeah – I know you’ve heard that before, but geez… what a courageous thing you’ve done here in this video. Thank you for speaking out so perfectly, and with such right-on information – have to believe you’re going to be helping far many more people with this than you can even imagine (and yeah – I’m sure even given your wonderful imagination, even more than that – LOL!) Love you lots and I’ve never even met you yet – looking forward to that one day though. Hugs and bravo’s from someone else who’s been there, is still there far more often than I like, and also go by the by-line of “no matter what, we’re all in this together!” 😀

  137. Much much love to you, as always. I am *very* happily medicated for chronic anxiety, but like you, it’s made me who I am, and I’m grateful for that, because I am awesome. And so are you. <3

  138. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for posting this. You have no idea how much watching this has helped me… I struggle with severe depression and anxiety (among other things) and have a habit of just keeping it all inside to the point of completely breaking down. I frequently think to myself that things would be better if I weren’t here. Just hearing someone say, “No, they wouldn’t… Don’t leave…” God, the impact those words have. THANK YOU.
    On a different note – AlohaKarina, you NEED to look into that whole chocolate-covered Xanax thing. I would be all over that shit!

  139. This video made me cry, in the good way. I have so much admiration for you and the fact that you’re willing to put yourself out there and speak about what you’re going through. So much love. <3

  140. I kept searching for some inspirational words and all I could come up with was BRAVO MISS JENNY!!!!!! You take that “darkness” and shove it back up the evil demon’s bum. I have been hospitalized 3 times for my bi-polar and border line personality disorder. I wondered each time if my husband and kids would be there when I got home. You know what they were and they loved me no matter how broken I was. THAT was 2006 and I am happy to report that I have been off all drugs and have yet to step foot in a hospital. WHY? Because somebody loved me enough to tell me not to listen to the “voices” that only wanted me to do damage to myself. THANK YOU and REMEMBER YOU MATTER TO ME. I LOVE YOU

  142. I have bipolar disorder and depression. Besides medication, cardio exercise is my number #1 pain reliever. Also, listening to new music that I’ve never heard before helps me too.

    Thank you for posting this video, Jenny. It was perfect timing.

  143. My superpower is taking all your pain away and harnessing it for good, like putting cereal and milk together at the grocery store. Or just putting it in the trash compactor. Or in the neighbor’s yard because I hate them.

  145. “don’t leave”. Hopefully the next slogan in your shop. Simply put, but oh so powerful. Thank you for your candor, honesty, creativity and humor. And a personal request from a total stranger who loves you furiously, especially the broken parts…. Don’t leave.
    S

  146. thank you so much for the video and the bracelet. i really needed that right now. i’ve been having a really rough series of panic attacks for the last 4 days now and i feel like i can’t escape from all the bad thoughts my brain is inflicting on me. listening to you talk about the issues you have (i got the audiobook) has helped me realize that there are ways of dealing with things like this and i’ve decided to ask my doctor about going back on medication (hopefully it works this time). i want to say thank you again, even though i already did, because i feel like i can’t say it enough because you make me realize that this is a real thing, and it’s not just me, and that is seriously the best thing i could ask to feel right now. *hugs*

  147. Something that’s had a huge impact for me: an Emotional Support dog.

    Not only is there benefit to having something snuggly that loves you unconditionally, but I found that as a single woman living alone with very few family ties, my dog is also my anchor. I can’t check out of my life because I am responsible for her well-being as much as for my own. I have to go to the grocer and get food. I have to work and make money. I have to get outside in the sunshine and go for a walk. And that makes a huge difference.

    (And if you have allergies, like so many people, there are some non-shedding breeds that make great Emotional Support Animals. Mine is a Schnauzer-Yorkie mix, which means she’s non-shedding and small, which works perfectly for me, as I travel with some frequency.)

  148. I think you have perfect timing – well – if that’s the positive way to look at it. Right as I was reading a journal from my past (which is kind of “homework” for me since I’m working on my autobio), you end up posting this. I saw it but finished my reading before coming over here. Now? I’m really sad and listening/reading this with tears in my eyes. Gah. It makes me remember my past when I had such the depression but also reminders of losing someone so close and dear to me…

    I think the worse thing anyone can do is ignore it and I’ve ignored it. That’s me. But we’re all together in this, right. *hugs*

  149. I’ve been getting them more and more frequently. Totally sucks ass. Love to u all.

  150. Thank you for telling me not to leave. I sometimes really want to. I didn’t realize I still did until you said not to. It’s so stupid.

  151. A few days ago I had an online friend dump me hard and I am still not sure why… but it kicked my ass emotionally so this was something I really needed to hear tonight. I don’t know if that person has any idea how devastating what they said was to me. Then again, I don’t think they care.

    I’ve worked in a couple of residential facilities for adults with mental illness (I was the Admin. in the Business Office so, not in a therapeutic role) and my co-workers used to tell me that I sometimes seemed to be the lunatic running the asylum. I know that they probably didn’t mean that as a compliment, but I always felt complimented by it. I understood so many of our clients… folks that had been in “the system” for years. And over and over I had clients tell me they liked me because I never tried to “fix” them, I just listened and made them feel like they were people.

    And to echo what some others have said… I won’t leave if you don’t, ok?

  152. Thank you for speaking out so courageously about anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses. As a person who developed PTSD at a young age and continues to cope with it, I have spent much of my life feeling crazy and I really relate to so much of what you say. A ton of therapy (which is still ongoing) and many years later my PTSD is now manageable and I no longer feel like every single day is a battle, but it * is * still incredibly isolating and feels totally shitty a lot of the time. Your courage to speak up about mental illness and anxiety-based disorders is helping to give me the courage to be more me, you know, out loud and in public, around people other than my cats. This isn’t as weird as it sounds, I just mean that I’m trying to be more myself all of the time and not just in my head. It’s pretty awesome that you encourage that in people. By the way, Poster #23 seems like an asshole. Just saying.

  153. Thank you so much for posting this video. I always feel so alone with my depression/OCD/self harm and to have to speak like that makes me feel a whole lot better. We are not alone, as hard as it is for me to remember that it’s true. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us.

  154. Reality may be a demanding mistress but she isn’t always an honest one. Keep doing you cause as you can see… Lots of people love you just the way you are and you shouldn’t feel bad for something you can’t control.

  155. Jenny you are a wonderful person as you are. If you did not have anxiety I doubt you would have accomplished the things that you have. So please be happy with your husband and your child and just live your life the way it is. You are such a pleasure and give joy to so many as evidenced by your book. So in your own words fuck this shit and just live your life. Your friends and family stand by you!

  158. I love your idea of making videos of yourself talking to yourself about what you are going through. I’m definitely going to try that. Thank you for this video, it arrived in my reader on exactly the right day.

  161. Girlfriend – YOU ROCK! I think you are one of the bravest women I know. Thank you for being there for me when I cant. You speak for those of us who are unable to. Broken or not, you are amazing and I need you. Hugs and Smooches..

  162. I suffer from depression, bi-polar disorder, mood disorder, and social anxiety. The anxiety is usually what hurts the worst. I know that my distrust for those that love me hurts them and so then I get depressed. Pulling out of a depressed state is difficult. I’ve had weeks upon weeks where I could barely do anything. I am suspicious of *everyone*. Somedays I’m not even sure why my husband married me. I can come out easier if I can find the strength to get up and go to fencing practice, or see friends, or my favourite, go shopping. Most of the time though I forget that depression lies.

  163. It’s disgusting how sly, how insidious, how deceptive depression is. It’s scary how those “little” thoughts snake their way into your soul…and breed.

    I love your “don’t leave”. Simple. Powerful. ?

  164. Oh, and, Jenny, seriously DON’T LEAVE
    Our parents’ generation had Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath. And as much beauty as those women gave us, they let the lies get them. What our generation and future ones need is someone that survives. And succinctly that.
    That isn’t enough. It is SO much more.

  165. Whew. This video was well-timed. I really appreciate your bravery, it’s helping me and I hope many others who are struggling. Much love.

  166. I’ve been a reader of your for months, this is the first time I’ve commented.
    First, I’d like to say how much you’ve made me laugh since I started reading your blog.I’ve spent hours going reading post after post.Second, I think your amazing, inspirational and strong.Thank you for sharing such a personal insight into depression.
    Mental health awareness week has just ended here in the U.K. supported by The Black Dog Tribe.com, a site I often visit when I feel low.
    Take care of yourself.

  167. You are amazing and this is an amazing post. Don’t leave. Thank you for sharing.

  168. wow, Jenny, we are all so lucky that you exist and have created this space and are so amazing. I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night/today, and it is really crappy.. .but hearing this is making me feel the tiniest bit better b/c i feel like i’m not alone… thanks to you and everyone here…

  170. I just found your blog about a month ago…how I didn’t find it sooner is crazy as I’ve been blogging myself for 7 years…but how I did find it is a story in and of itself…I’ll sum it up. Male best friend – my crush gone bad in a fit of depression. Friendship will never be the same. Years later I’m friends with his wife of facebook…she’s so funny and perfect for him…easier to be happy for someone when the depression isn’t hanging over your head. She posted a link to your metal chicken post and I laughed so hard I cried!

    I’ve suffered from severe anxiety and dysthymia for most of my life – I started treatment at 19 and 20 years later I still struggle…I’ve been on an anti-depressant non-stop since I was first diagnosed. I’ve transitioned to new ones, different ones, and it’s never fun. I’ve gone to a few different therapists – my last was the best and finally got through to me and really helped me get to a point where I can process and work through my distorted thinking – and diagnosed my ADD which significantly changed my life, AGAIN. Yet I NEVER remember anyone saying it so simply…Depression Lies.

    As I listened to you tonight my heart sank into my stomach because I was thinking today that I wished my brother was dead…horrible thoughts brought on by 16 years of dealing with bi-polar disorder, Schizophrenia and the self-medicating that leaves my family in a constant state of panic.

    Do I wish I was born without mental illness…no because it makes me who I am and has made me a voice for those afraid to speak out about the pain of mental illness. Yet if I could take away the mental illness that runs in my family so that my nieces and nephews wouldn’t have to go through the pain that I have – I would in a heartbeat. Thankfully I am able to talk to them, share what I’ve gone through and help them see that it is nothing to be ashamed of. I firmly believe that it is when we don’t face mental illness head-on and help one another, that the illness wins. So THANK YOU for speaking out and for sharing so much of yourself.

  171. Thank you Jenny. I <3 you too and don't want you to go anywhere! Except maybe to Edmonton so I can give you a hug.

    I find the sun really does help. It gives me strength. Also as crazy as this may sound I talk to my dogs and hug them and I feel like they are telling me everything is going to be ok.

    Really. Thank you for sharing.

  173. First time I heard “depression lies” was from you and it is my mantra when it gets rough. Thank you because it’s true. Depression. Lies. Thank you for those 2 very powerful words!

  174. I met you at the book signing in San Antonio. You were amazing, and I still remember that little note on your arm. I also remember thinking that you were amazingly strong – dosed up or not – to speak in front of that large of a group.
    Today sucks. Tomorrow might suck too. But another day will not, and that’s what makes it worth it, right? Well, that and margaritas.

  175. I wish i could end my battle with agoraphobia. I cant say how many years i havent left my town
    because of panic attacks. I dont never know where to begin to tell all ive went through. Thanks for
    This video.

  176. You are such an amazing, wonderful person. The gifts that you give to us–laughter, insight, compassion, joy–are the best gifts for which anyone can hope. Thank you for everything you share with us; please know that your fans all love you and don’t want you to leave us, either!

  177. You. Are. AMAZING. Such an important message. Thank you so much for your willingness to keep it real. So powerful. You are important. Stay strong friend. And know that you are loved by many.

  178. Please tell me how “it is easy to abuse them (@5:36).” Your statement is seriously misleading, and plays into the hands of everyone who thinks that the depressed can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps if only they are willing.

    I have been living with depression for my entire adult life. I was extremely resistant to going into therapy and taking medication. Twenty years later, my only regret is that I didn’t get help sooner. My only fear is that the medication will stop working.

    Taking antidepressants doesn’t make you high. Please do not perpetuate that myth. If you take antidepressants without needing them, you are putting an unnecessary load on your liver to no avail. But you won’t get high. Withdrawal is a function of habituation; it does not necessarily signify abuse.

    You just said that it is easy to abuse antidepressants and then you turn around and say that it’s no different than a diabetic using insulin. This is completely contradictory.

    I may be on antidepressants on and off for the rest of my life. But I will never, ever go back into the darkness. If I find myself slipping, I will go get help. I’m not going to wait until I’m suicidal. I’m never, ever going to be suicidal again; I promise ME.

  179. Maybe it is the moon.
    I normally lean toward anxious, and had been better the past couple weeks… but I’ve been depressed this week. I needed to hear this. Thanks Jenny.

  180. Diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago, when I was in high school. Therapy has been instrumental for me, especially in the last year as I made some major life changes. One of my therapist’s mantras is “Be kind to yourself.” I need to remind myself, some days, that’s it’s okay not to be Superwoman. It’s not the end of the world if I didn’t get everything scratched off my to-do list; the sun will still come up if I take five minutes to stop and just breathe. Life goes on, and so will I.

    “Finally, I’ve concluded, through careful empirical analysis, and much thought, that someone is looking out for me. Keeping track of what I think about things, forgiving me when I do less than I ought, giving me strength to shoot for more than I might feel capable of. I believe they know everything that I do (and think) and still love me. I’ve concluded after careful consideration, that this person keeping score…

    Is me.”

    -Adam Savage, at The Reason Rally

  183. Vitamin D and fish oil. There’s a researcher here at KU who’s been doing, um, research, on depression and such, and he recommends vitamin D and a fish oil tablet every day. Plus get some sun, either from the real thing or from a light box.

    It seems to work, if you don’t mind burping sardines. I’ve been told the higher quality fish oil capsules don’t make you do that, but I get the cheapo ones.

    Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.

  184. “Don’t leave”

    I needed that message. sometimes it’s so hard.

    Thanks.

  185. Thank you. I am one of those who needed to hear exactly this, exactly now, as my own anxiety and depression–usually pretty well-controlled–are back with a vengeance these past few weeks.

    I hope you will remember all of us, and all of these comments, in those moments when you wonder what it’s all for. You help so many people: that’s what it’s all for.

    Peace and hugs, from one survivor to another.

  186. *full-teary-episode* When I’m really down, I believe that those closest to me don’t really want me there. When I’m feeling like this, I don’t know how transparent I am and how much pain my family feels to see me struggling with that hideous black beast. My brain hurts so many people – I’d happily spoon it out and replace it with a new one. My depression, however, is genetic – my daughter will be starting soon with the onset of hormone crazy-town. I know my brain is broken, and I am now able to help her where my mother couldn’t help me, nor her mother before that. I’m stopping the cycle of self-loathing and destruction. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts – I reckon you’re bang on the mark. People who struggle to achieve and maintain ‘a normal life’ have so much empathy and support for others. My ability to love and care is pretty astounding, and so is yours. We rocketh.

  187. Thank you. Got this at the critical moment when the kids have gone to bed and I realize I’m the only adult in the house. I can’t sleep and I eat but mostly I need to cry. Thanks to everyone brave enough to claim broken. I can be that brave, here. It’s so hard in the light of day. My family needs honesty and courage. But no worries, I say, I’m awesome at holding on.

  188. Do art. Try to create something every day, even if it’s just doodles in a journal.
    Eat healthy food. Drink lots of water!.
    Talk talk talk talk talk talk. Talk some more.
    Sing. Listen to music that makes you feel peppy. Dance.
    Be kind to yourself. Get help when you need it.
    And most of all, remember: it’s okay to not be perfect.
    We’ll get through this together.
    Love you.
    Rebecca

  190. The last part of your message made me tear up. People (myself included) often do not understand how important they are to the people around them – and not just friends and family, but coworkers, people you see on a regular basis but don’t really know – they would ALL be affected if you were not here anymore. The clerk in the drugstore just today said she hadn’t seen me in a while and asked how I had been – it was only friendly conversation, but a relative stranger had noticed my absence. I’ve had 2 friends commit suicide, and I’ve attempted it myself, and when I finally, a year later, admitted it to my mother, it hit me like a tidal wave how badly it would destroy her if I had succeeded.

    You ARE important.
    WE ARE ALL IMPORTANT.

    Jenny, you are a wonderful example of what I strive to be, which is militantly OUT about being Bipolar. The more questions we answer, the more resources we share, the wider a community we build, the more strength we will have. And I think that might be starting right here, which is just so damned special.

  191. I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression for a really long time,you are always an inspiration to me. I thank you for that,and the reminder-Depression is a huge,stinkin’ liar

  192. You are so awesome. Everything you said is exactly true and it helps to know there is one more person out there who does not want me to leave. Usually whenever I get down in the depths I just start thinking about all the people who love me. The depression tells me they would be better off without me, but then I hear my mother’s voice telling me that with life there is always hope of things getting better. Then I think about the pain I feel and felt when my best friend killed her self almost 22 years ago. I still get mad at her, miss her, almost as if it was just the other day.
    My dog always comes and snuggles next to me. And when my husband comes home he makes our stuffed teddy bear “doppelgangers” talk in their silly voices and while it does not always work right away eventually things do get better.
    Right now it has been tough since I am currently about 12 weeks pregnant so my hormones are going crazy and the worry voice inside my head is in overdrive! The weekend was a bust as far as getting anything done, but then I’m growing a human being (or perhaps the giraffe my husband has always wanted).
    It has been a number of years since I have seen a therapist but tomorrow I will think of you (while reading your book) and call for an appointment ASAP.
    This all seems very disjointed but after reading just the first few paragraphs of your book this is nothing!
    Thank you again Jenny for being there for all of us, and I hope in some way we are there for you too!

  194. Often, when I’m in the throes of a massive anxiety/panic/omgIthinkI’mgoingtospontaneouslycombust episode, I find myself thinking, WWJLD? And I feel better. Because I know I’m so not alone.

    You may sometimes think you aren’t anyone in particular but, to many of us, you are a WARRIOR. THE Warrior (um…now I have that song from the 80’s stuck in my head) who leads the fight as we sound are – albeit crazy – barbaric yawps across the rooftops of the world.

    I’ll see you in the bathroom sometime. I’ll bring the wine.

  195. Great video. So important to hear all of this. I’ve had episodic depression and have long-term anxiety and panic disorders. Things that help – gardening, yoga, light, hiking, good music – things that keep me in the now. Also, weirdly, I told my chiropractor, whom I see for back issues about my anxiety in passing one day. He did this funky cranial adjustment and immediately – like IMMEDIATELY – I felt hugely better. I do have to get regular adjustments but it let me also drop down on the meds and still feel normal. Not all chiros do these adjustments – go to someone old school – a bone cruncher as my guy calls himself. I should add my chiro is also Chinese so does an interesting mix of chiro and TCM. And, FWIW, I really truly belive that chiro is only good for musculo-skeleton adjustments so I have no idea why this worked, but it can’t be psychosomatic because I didn’t believe it would work.

  196. Jenny, I am a counseling professor who has been reading your blog for a loooooong time and have gotten several students addicted to your blog. (Hello, Students, if you’re reading this!) I love reading all of your humorous posts, but I really love that you can also get real and share posts like this. You really can and are making a difference for people who share your struggles, as well as helping counseling students and counselors in their work. I really appreciate your support of using prescribed psychotropic medications when needed while emphasizing the work of individual counseling. Thank you SO much!

    Oh, and my colleague and I can’t wait to attend your Skype event May 9th at our local bookstore. It’s the best we can do since we can’t make it to Texas and you aren’t heading to Ohio/Kentucky. (Which you really should head this way because we have LOTS of taxidermied animals for you here!)

  197. ….and long walks are my go-to,I just need to get outside before I can talk myself out of it!

  198. I needed that…thank you. You have no idea of what inspiration you are to me. Thank you…you are awesome!

  199. I love you, Jenny!! Thank you for the courage to stand up not only for yourself but for all of us. Thank you for the laughter through the tears. Thank you for whistling in the dark to give us all hope. Thank you for everything you do.

  200. Don’t ever leave Jenny and I’ll do my best not to leave either.

    I’ve also lived with mental illness since childhood. I’ve got social anxiety, bouts of agoraphobia, depression, and I’m bipolar II. After being widowed at 37 I’m slowly making my way back to life with lots of help from my mental health team. I’ve had many, many dark days, and I can *so* relate to feeling like the world would be better without me in it.

    But you’re right. Depression lies like a motherfucker.

    Thank you.

    Oh and by the way I’m half way though your book and I’m absolutely loving it. I completely relate to blurting out strange things in social situations!!! At 2 am last night I was reading your book and I was trying so hard not to wake up my housemates while laughing that I ended up doing this weird sort of snuffling laugh that scared the crap out of my dog. That made me laugh even more.

  201. I can’t begin to tell you how your words over the years have helped me hang on when I’ve felt like quitting. Thank you. So, so much.

  202. Mine is anxiety and OCD and i write…sometimes for hours…once all the shit in my brain is out on paper i can sometimes let some of it go. Intense exercise helps too. I have other methids but these are the more positive ones. Thanks again for signing my mom’s book for mothers day. She will love it. (Motherfucker)

  203. You are awesome! It takes so much courage to go out there and share these things, but it is so helpful to so many people. Keep up the great work. Thank-you 🙂

  204. YOU are such a great gift. Thank you. Much love to you woman.

  205. You are so incredible. This brought tears to my eyes in a good way. Being 17 and having generalized anxiety disorder isn’t easy, but you make it easier. Thank you 🙂

  207. Dear Jenny,

    I’ve been intently watching the way you battle your depression, and it’s inspiring every time how you come at it with honesty, calling it what it is, and never give completely in. You probably don’t have any idea how many people who have no idea what to do are looking to you (worrisome thought, huh?)
    I Tweeted a link to you that you probably wont/didn’t actually see: I have crippling depression myself and have given into more ill advised behaviors regarding it than I’d like to go into – namely planning out my own suicide. 3 days after I made that plan, I made this video to stop myself. It’s only 7 minutes long and pep talks me out of every dark thought I have, every time, because it reminds me of the real truth.

    THE LINK: http://youtu.be/EhEpaxlb76s

    In the way you inspire me to be honest and upfront about my crazy brain, I wanted to throw a little back your way.
    You are indescribably important to people who aren’t even related to you, Jenny Lawson.
    Much Love,
    Sarah

  208. I had anger in my life for, mmm…, all of it. A lot of anger that I couldn’t face because I was angry at myself. And the result was hurting everyone around me, sabotaging all my relationships, and alienating all the people I love. I tried drugs, talk therapy, EMDR therapy, relying on family and friends, throwing myself into work to avoid feeling, sleeping to avoid feeling, and while it all worked to varying degrees, I still had anger. And then I tried BodyTalk.
    Be gentle with yourself. You are not alone. You are the only perfect you there can be.

  209. I just had a total bitch of a panic attack last night. It lasted so long, I had to put my hand on my husband’s chest and breathe with him because I forgot how long each breath should be. It takes a special kind of crazy to forget how to breathe right. Wait… Maybe those strips would help! (Little anxiety humor there for ya. Choice; laugh or cry, I’ll take laugh any day.)

  210. Thank you. I hope some day I can say (even after a pregnant pause to consider it) that I’m glad to be who I am. That I’m glad to be broken.

  211. Thank you so much for this. Last year hearing you say Depression is a liar really helped get me out of some the darkest depressive years I’d had in a long time. I was truly convinced the world would be better off without me. Thanks for reminding me why it’s not only OK but awesome to be broken and to not listen to that lying voice in my head. You’re “Don’t leave.” will always be with me. You are amazing!

  212. I just watched this last night as I searched for something to send a friend who is struggling right now. I think you posting it tonight is kismet. Thank you for being such an incredible voice to those who suffer silently.

  213. First of all: you were never broken, nor are you now. Second: thanks for the awesome tips! I’ll be using some of these with my clients.

  216. Thank you. I’m in tears, and not necessarily in a “good” way, but thank you for putting yourself out there like this.

  218. Depression is a lying asshole. That is all there is to say about it.

    Thank you for the video. it means a lot

  219. Reading your blog (& BOOK!), the right music and meds help keep me fairly even these days. Thank you for being an advocate for those who can’t do it for themselves. And THANK YOU for helping us all feel a little more normal.

  220. Thank you, Jenny. This was amazing. You are an amazing woman.

    For anyone else reading the comments: I just want to second Jenny’s statement about not giving up on medication if one kind doesn’t work. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and it can be kinda scary, trying to figure out what medication, (or combination of medications!,) will work for you. To anyone who is still trying to get this sorted out for themselves–don’t give up! It took me years of tweaking, and an *awesome* ARNP, to find a combo that really worked for me.

    It was totally worth it. Every day that I’m able to get out of bed and accomplish something is a victory. Every time that I can say to myself, “Hey, wait–those thoughts aren’t realistic!” and turn away from them is a victory. Hell, every night that I actually sleep the night through is a victory, too! And the world really looks amazing when you’re not terrified all the time. 🙂

    Also–every medication that I’ve been on has taught me something about my illness, even when it didn’t work very well (or at all). If something doesn’t work, learn what you can from it, then try again. You’ll get there.

  221. You are just 13 shades of awesome in every color. I hate that you ever have to be in pain, but boy do I love that you use it to uplift and educate everyone around you.

    Love and hugs!

  222. I inherited chemical imbalance from my dad. I finally started on medication during my second pregnancy. During my 3rd pregnancy I began experiencing severe anxiety. I am extremely grateful that my husband grew up with a mother who suffered from mental illness as he was growing up. He recognized what was going on and helped me get the help I needed. When I started on medication it was like waking up. I will never forget a couple of days after I started the look of amazement on his face when he said “You finally laughed!”. I hadn’t realized how bad it was. I have heard women on occasion talk about what they do to “hide” their mental imbalances from their children. I am absolutely opposed to this!!! We have three daughters (we used to imagine having 4 children, but because of how severe my chemical changes are during pregnancy we changed our minds). I have explained to them in age appropriate ways what I am going through. I dont’ care what you do to “hide” it from you kids, they are perceptive and will be scared if they don’t understand. Since our daughters understand some of what I deal with they sometimes are able to pick up on signs that something is off before I can. Recently I was playing Phase 10 with two of the kids on a sunday afternoon. I was getting more and more irritated. I practically yelled at our oldest daughter because she was beating me! She’s 9!!! She gave me a funny look, knowing that I was not acting right. I put my cards down and walked away. I started poking through my pill sorter (with a few chronic illnesses also I take a full dozen pills on a good day). I discovered I’d run out of my medication for anxiety 3 days before. Once I knew what was going on I went back to my girls. I explained that my medicine was out. I apologized for my bad behavior and explained that I should not have let it get that bad and I would fix what was wrong. It is something that has helped bring me closer to my children instead of dividing us. Considering how genetically based some forms of depression seem to be I am very concerned about them being informed and keeping communication open in case any of them fall into this same funk. I feel sometimes like they’re doomed to it. My husband is medicated for ADD (since he moved to a desk job) and also medicated for a borderline bipolar disorder (he woudlnt’ have to take that except that the ADD meds could throw him into a manic phase without, so it’s really just preventative). His mother has dealt with severe bipolar disorder most of her life. My dad is finally being treated for depression, as am I. If it’s genetic those sweet babes of mine are gonna have it! I’m arming them with the best I can do.

  223. Thank you for posting this!! I too suffer depression and anxiety and have been a total mess since Friday… not that I want anyone to suffer like this, but I am glad it’s not just me…
    I totally agree with what you said about meds, I’ve tried so many and none have worked for me, but I that doesn’t mean I’m not open to trying again. Even though one gave me horrific, bloody nightmares and another facial tics (that was fun :/) But it does seem to run in the family, so I’m guessing it’s chemical. I’m sad my daughter now seems to suffer depression, but grateful that her doctor seems to have found something that will help her and hopeful that she will continue counseling. My son has social anxiety, counseling helped him so much. ( I distributed my genes fairly ;), 1 mental illness per child! Such a good mom…)
    Now I’m rambling, thank you for being so open and sharing with all of us. I’m sorry for all of us who are fighting this moon right now. Group counseling anyone?

  224. Hi Jenny.

    I really wanted to comment on withdrawal from psych drugs. I was prescribed benzo’s (xanax, ativan, klonopin, etc) for over 13 years. It was wonderful when it helped me, but eventually I reached something called tolerance withdrawal. I kept taking higher doses (per my doctors orders) and it didn’t work, but caused intense debilitating symptoms that lasted for over 2 years! I deeply feel that people need to be warned about these dangerous drugs knowing what I know now. It took a year to taper off the benzodiazepines and another two years to recover fully from them.

    I’m really happy that you are talking about this on your blog and I don’t want to take up your whole page, but thankful I could share a tiny portion of my story.

    Congratulations on the success of your new book and overcoming all that you have!

    Mila

  225. Oh — and i have a definite problem with brevity. Sorry ’bout that essay! Group therapy in the comment section!!!

  226. Thanks for sharing this, my family knows about my struggles, but not my co-workers/boss, mental illness does still have a stigma attached. Do you want to hear something funny? (Sure you do!)I recently moved into an apartment that is next door to my old therapists office, ha! Not so funny to no longer have coverage for therapy /drugs /psychiatrist. You’re right about withdrawal, I thought I was going to DIE!!!(lost coverage for meds and was sent on my way!!!!) Have been muddling through on my own, thanks again for this post!!!!

  228. you know if we could package up some courage and strength and kickassness, we would and we would send it to you free because we all want you to be better than this dis-ease.

  229. Great video. I don’t suffer from depression, but I have friends who do, and your descriptions and thoughts give me some insight about what they are going through. Thank you.

  231. Thank you thank you thank you for this video. Love yuor humor, but this is so important and I am glad to have watched, as I deal with many of the same issues you do. Talking about how different people need different drugs needs to be said. It’s just like shopping for the right birth control. Also, thanks for the last 30 seconds to remind us (and yourself) that we are important, no matter how broken we might be.

  232. I can always feel it when my brain declares war on me, but I’m powerless to stop it. And it plays dirty, always telling me I’m less than.

    I will always win, though.

  233. Depression blows. I’ve been trapped inside myself for months… I don’t know how to get out of it. But I’ll try to remember- depression lies. And all those people who treat me like I’m “different” now… They can all kiss my @ss. Nuffield said. Love your blog.

  234. dear bloggess, and anyone else who is struggling,
    if you can find your way to it, and if you’re really ready to do battle with depression, bipolar, borderline, etc., Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is an AMAZING thing. i’m 40 years old and never thought i would survive to this point. and i honestly don’t think i would have if it wasn’t for DBT. some of the things being mentioned in the video (such as holding ice) are just a couple of the many, many tools you can learn in this program. it’s far less about hashing out the past, and far more about building a future for yourself that you deserve (and i promise you, you DO deserve to live some beautiful years!). if there isn’t a therapist or program in your area that offers DBT, look it up; there are work books. you can learn tools to overcome that awful inner voice that tells you you are not worth it.
    love and mental health,
    darcy

  235. I’m one of the relatively lucky ones. My level of depression is at a level where I can survive without medication, and where I can reason my way through it. Some days, it’s less reasonable than others, but mostly, if I wait it out and rest up and avoid people for a day or two, it passes.

    Medication is worse than going it alone. The side effects make me violently emotional, or they drain all of the color out of the world. There may well be a drug that will help me, but I don’t want to screw around with my brain chemicals any worse than they’re already screwed. I’ve been depressed since I was very young, and I know how to cope with that. I don’t know how to cope with mania, or anxiety, or the waking dreams I had when I was on Prozac.

    I was in therapy for a while, and I think anyone, mentally healthy or no, would benefit from talking to a therapist. It gives you some sense of perspective and helps, no matter what you’re going through. It may take a while to find the right therapist, but there are a lot of them out there. It doesn’t even have to be someone licensed for therapy. Anyone who can listen and has repercussions for blabbing to your friends or family can be a therapeutic outlet, though therapists do have the specialized training and the language for it.

    What helped me the most out of anything was prioritizing. I don’t subscribe to spoon theory for myself, because there are people with chronic illness or much more severe mental illness who need that to explain their daily lives a lot more than I do. But it did open my eyes to the fact that I have a finite amount of energy. Some days, I can spend some of that energy on fighting back the voice that tells me I’m worthless and no one likes me and there’s no reason to do anything. Some days, I don’t have to do that, and I can go do something good for myself, like taking a walk outside. Sometimes, something recharges me, while others, it drains me. So long as I’m aware of what’s going on with my energy level and how hard I’m fighting with myself, I don’t let it slip into dangerous territory.

    That also means excising people from my life who don’t understand how hard I fight for my life, and who make demands on my time and energy that I can’t fulfill. That turns into a downward spiral where I give in a little bit, either to do as the person demands, or to refuse and be that terrible, worthless person I believe myself to be. Either alternative ends with me curled up in bed, refusing to move for fear I’ll go for something sharp.

    I choose to surround myself with people who either have the compassion to understand what I’m going through, or who have been there, themselves. I do my damndest to repay them for their compassion and kindness, and make the bad times worth their while. But I will no longer put up with people who take my effort to perform as a happy, well-adjusted soul for granted.

  237. At times it’s a big black deep hole that I see no way out of. Later when I am out of it I don’t understand how I was there in the first place.

  238. I wish that I’d had somebody to say these things to me 15 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression. It took about 10 years to finally find the right combination of meds for me (I had big problems with “poop-out syndrome”), but once I did, it made a HUGE difference. So, yes, keep trying different meds, it may take a long time to find it, but there is almost always something out there that will help (and new drugs are being developed all the time). What kept me going over those long, dark years was therapy, therapy and more therapy. In addition to talking through various issues, I learned invaluable coping skills. Things like, when everything seems overwhelming and you can’t cope with *anything* (like, say, basic hygiene), just try to do one little thing. Brush your teeth. Then praise yourself for it – you accomplished something! See! Even now that I’m in a relatively stable place, I still use the little tips and tricks that I learned all the time.

    I think one of the hardest things is learning to ask for and accept help. I was adamantly against drugs and therapy in the beginning, since I thought, hey, I’m smart, I should be able to work this out myself. Yeah, that didn’t work out so great. 😐 One of my psych docs told me something that has made all the difference – mental illness is an illness just like any other. You can’t just will your way free of diabetes or cancer, you have to *treat* it. He spent a lot of time explaining exactly how the brain and all it’s various chemicals and such work (or are supposed to work…and, yes, this was all dumbed down for us non-MDs), and what exactly was going wrong inside my body. It was like a light switch went off. I get it. It’s not because I’m weak or not trying hard enough or whatever, there is something WRONG with my body and we have to do our best to treat it. Once I wrapped my brain around that, it made it a lot easier to accept, follow the treatment plans, ask for help, and give myself a break. It’s not easy – since depression is a lying bitch – but it helps.

    Anyway, I just want to thank you for being so honest and open about your experiences with mental illness. I just know that there are so many people out there who will benefit, get help, hold on a while longer, or understand a little better what their loved one is going through. *HUGS*

  239. Depression is so all-consuming.

    About eight months ago, I found out that my brand new husband had been cheating on me for years. For quite a while, my whole world was numb. It was as if I was a bystander, watching another human explode. Only that human was me.

    Some of you may be able to relate to these feelings… I describe a lot of them in my latest post: http://www.ringfingertanline.com/2012/04/30/operation-detox/

  240. I completely agree with you that we depressives just feel more. Over the last several years I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that my emotions are oftentimes just too big for many people’s comfort. And I can look back at my whole life and see how I’ve tried to contain my expression so I didn’t get the hand on my arm from someone wanting me to tone it down. It’s a special kind of suckiness when your boyfriend tells you that even your happy is a little hard for him to deal with.

    I’ve been in the hole recently. I’d been off my meds for awhile, seeing if I could be and I’d felt myself sliding. When I cried for three days straight I realized I’d already fallen in several days prior. Somehow I don’t ever go to suicidal. More just feel like I’m fading and that probably nobody will ever notice. I did finally tell my mom and she convinced me to reach out. The love that showered me after I put up a plaintive facebook status was almost overwhelming. Depression lies, indeed. And it’s astonishing what simply telling others about it will bring back to us.

    Thank you again for your raw honesty. You are a bright light in this world, even when you feel like there is nothing but darkness and chaos. Along with so many others, I’m sending you love.

  241. Now that I’ve watched the video, the only advice I’d add to Jenny’s is to be totally honest with your psychiatrist and/or psychologist. If you’re ever going to be totally honest with anyone, those are the people to do with with.

    And no matter what kind of thoughts are going through your head, I guarantee that you are not the only person to ever feel that way. To ever feel that bad.

    There are people who understand and know how to help you. It’s a great feeling to realize others have been there before and come through it just fine.

  243. Your last words “don’t leave” were the sincerest, most loving words I’ve ever heard, and you don’t even know me.

  244. I am so impressed how you are leading such an honest life, true to who you are. It takes such courage to do that and to emerge as a public figure at the same time. You go, lady! You are truly inspiring! Please excuse me now. I must hide behind my couch for a while. Or maybe I’ll be brave, too, and sit on my couch instead. Go, me!

  245. Sending you lots of good vibes and love-hugs. I too struggle with depression and have since I was a teenager. I too worry about whether my children will have to struggle with depression and have talked to them about it they are 17 and 20 now). I too have had a friend who has struggled all her life and who I thought I was going to lose several time. I want to say to you and to her and to everyone who feels the pain……DON’T LEAVE. Jenny, you have given me so much joy and love. Don’t leave….

  247. Thank you for being so real, and for talking about it. I am a depression survivor too, and talking about it makes everything the slightest bit more bearable. Thank you for your honesty and bravery. xo

  250. Jenny, I just sent a link to your video to a friend whose 17-year-old daughter suffers from crippling anxiety…and whose husband doesn’t believe in screwed-up brain chemistry and is fighting putting her on meds that will help. I’m so hoping and praying that she will show the video to him and help him understand that there’s no stigma. At the same time, I am so thankful for my husband, who avoids medication like the plague but still supports my daily intake of antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs — because he knows that they keep me here, and functioning, and able to feel great joy. Don’t know you (hope I will some day), but I love you.

  251. Depression lies is perhaps the wisest thing I’ve ever heard. It really does, even though it doesn’t feel like it when it happens. You are such a strong person and you make me not want to hide my issues, but to spread the support and knowledge that you do. Normally I’m so ashamed to be the way I am, but this post makes me less ashamed. You make a difference.

  252. I make a living out of being balls-to-the-walls crazy, and you are TOTALLY speaking my language here, Jenny. I tell people that illness is when part of your body is trying to kill you. Heart disease? Heart trying to kill you. Liver disease? Liver the Assassin on the attack. How do we fight back against these killers? With our brains. Our brains say, “Take your meds! See a doctor! Treat yourself well!” But with mental illness, it’s your brain trying to kill you — so how the hell are you supposed to fight back when your best weapon is the very thing tearing you to shreds??!

    My answer involves building my defense when I’m well. THAT’S when I write letters to my future-crazy-self with instructions on how to fight back. THAT’S when I record the videos giving my sick self survival strategies. It helps.

    See you soon, out-of-the-hole. (That’s like asshole except friendly and encouraging and mentally sound. 🙂 )

  253. Jenny, thank you so much for posting this video. It makes me feel better just to know there’s one more person out there that understands what goes on in my head. Depression does lie. I wish I could wear a shirt that alerted people to disregard the terrible things I may say when I’m in the clutches of this beast. Well, maybe not a shirt. A bracelet. Like those MedAlert bracelets that tell people you’re diabetic or epileptic.

    Thanks again. The world is a brighter place because we have you in it.

  254. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have dealt with depression on and off for years and I know so many people who are in that exact same boat.
    Your last 10 seconds made me sob. Thank you, thank you for saying all that.
    I hope this reaches everyone it needs to.

    ~Adriana

  257. You are so good to do this. I have bipolar disorder, PMDD, fibromyalgia. I am currently enduring 1st year in about 20 without medical management of my chronic illnesses. I have no insurance, my husband is in 2nd year of unemployment and we are going through everything imaginable as a result of current circumstances. Had to express to my husband that things are getting bad for me and he has to prepare himself and the kids to handle it… whatever “it” is. I’m scared. We have limited income… nothing that would support my resuming physician’s care , much less medication. I stopped my blog a few days ago, when someone on Twitter seemed bothered by my reality – went so far as to delete it. Thanks for doing your part to bring awareness to mental illness. I’ve mentioned it before, I loved your book but in a different way than most. I recognize your world. Your book made me feel not so alone in mine.

  259. Anxiety and Depression won’t go away They are big ugly, nasty demons and so much bigger then any one of us that deal with them. But it’s like “A bugs life” they tower over us, like those grasshoppers, and they intimidate us. Until we realise, they may be bigger, but there’s only a couple of them, ad there are hundreds off us. So let’s stand together and kick some serious ass!

  260. I’m not suffering from depression (though I had a bad bout with it years ago – so I get it) but I just wanted to tell you THANK YOU for opening yourself up this way and sharing your heart. Your sincerity and compassion are shining out from you. I will be praying that your message has touched and especially helped people. Not to over-spiritualize, but God IS using you. Thanks for that. Blessings…and great big hugs. 🙂

  261. Adding to the chorus of “Thank you”. Your bravery and honesty and humor amaze me.

    When i was first diagnosed with “depression manifesting as anxiety”, I had internalized the stigma against “happy pills” so I tried to work through things with therapy. I got better, but only to a point. It wasn’t until my doc had me keep a “symptom log” and had me write down how I felt several times a day as well as if I was under any specific stress and where my monthly cycle was that we realized that I had a chemical issue and I NEEDED to be on meds. You can write stuff down, or there are also smartphone apps you can use to track your symptoms and look for patterns. I use MoodPanda now, though it automatically defaults to “share everything” so you probably want to go to the website and disable a lot of stuff when you first set it up.

    I personally found that starting something like a symptom log or looking for resources helped me – because it meant that I was now “doing something” about how I felt – because you’re totally right. Depression is a liar. It whispers to you and you get so used to it that you don’t even notice any more until you realize that you haven’t actually left your house by choice for weeks.

    Luckily for people in that boat, there are people like you and videos like this

  262. I love you so much for talking openly about your struggles. I guess there is something in the air or the water or something, because I had a panic attack out of nowhere at work today. I closed my door, popped a xanax, and felt utterly alone. I don’t feel so alone now. Thank you 🙂

  263. First of all, YOU are fantastic. I wanted to comment just to say that you have so much courage to not only talk about your issues publicly, but that you have so much fortitude to put yourself out there to help others. When ever I have a sad moment in my life, I read one of you stories and just laugh my silly arse off. A LOT. And I thank you for that. Each and every time. You are so loved by so many people I just hope you know that. {of course you do I hope!}

    You make every single person who reads this blog, any day they may visit, brighter by just being you. And I count myself lucky to live a sliver of your life vicariously through your blog.

    Thank You Jenny. Thank You.

    Stevo

  264. Jenny, thank you so much for that video. I’m struggling to put into words what I want to say. So I’ll say this. You are a hero of mine. Your honesty, your frankness, your wit and humor are unmatched. I am so glad that someone I look up to and admire so much actually understands me. Me. I immediately after watching this made a video from myself, to myself. And I feel like a huge weight just got taken of my chest. Depression does lie. It’s cunning. It’s destructive. But I want to fight. Suicide is an epidemic in my family. I lost my little brother last year. And my dad, twenty years ago last month. It seems like my family has dealt with every kind of mental illness there is. But I want to fight still. Thank you for giving me another tool to use in this battle. You are amazing. Thanks for just being you.

  266. Sharing this everywhere I can. You’re saving lives, Jenny. Don’t leave. <3

  268. I’ve been experiencing one of my bouts of depression for the last couple of weeks and I needed to hear this. Thanks, even though you made my cry. 😛
    Hope you start to feel better soon.

  269. Hi Jenny, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of tapping (EFT) to help with anxiety and many other issues. It might be something to look into to help; another tool for you to use, if need be. Here’s the link: http://www.thetappingsolution.com Their annual Tapping Summit is coming up May 7th where you can learn all about it, what it is, how to use it, how it works (based on acupressure points) from many different experts and people who use it to combat pain, anxiety, stress, overwhelm & more. I plan on watching it and have started using it on my own worries, stresses, and mild anxieties. It’s quite interesting and I’m seeing/feeling some good results!

    I’m sending lots of positive healing wishes your way! I also hope this information might be helpful to others too (in addition to other things they are using: therapy, medication, writing, music…). Take care. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

  270. Depression is a lying bastard. I’m apparently on the same cycle as Jenny. What helps is knowing that we’re not alone.

    http://anervousticmotion.com/5951/depression-is-a-lying-bastard/
    Life is not rainbows and unicorns. Sad things happen. Bad things happen. But these do not cause depression. And I, for one, will not let them define me. I’m calling you out, depression. I know what you’re trying to do to me. So I’m not staying silent. Your move, you lying little bastard. Your move.

  271. Thank you for that. I struggly with Anxiety and thinking I’m not good enough. I guess self harm comes in all forms, because I don’t cut myself or whatnot. But I probably drink to much. On that note. Your final words made me cry. Hope you are feeling better. We all love you!

  272. After dealing with depression for years by myself, I found your blog and started one of my own. Still dealing with lots of things. Still not able to articulate lots of things. But I am able to type and share with people. I am now in the process of finding a therapist (besides you because, Hey, I can only drink so much tequila). Thank you for helping me realize it’s not just a “thing”

  273. Wow, what an amazing video. You are a strong woman, Jenny! Thank you so much for posting this. I randomly found your website a few days ago and I’m so glad I did. You sound so much like me and many other people I know who have struggled with and are struggling with depression and anxiety currently. Thank you for being so open and honest, putting yourself out there like that isn’t easy and you really showed how doing something like that can have a positive impact on so many others. I just recently started going back to therapy – after about two years away from it – and it’s helping so much. I won’t go back to medication because I had so many bad experiences with it, but at times it was really helpful to me too. I am also struggling with several chronic health issues – which make the depression worse – and vice versa, it’s just a big ugly cycle. But I’m working through it and trying to stay as positive as I can. Thank you so much again for the post. You’re awesome and you are right – we are all in this together!

  274. I know I posted just a while ago, but I wanted to share this with you.

    I posted a link to this video on my Facebook page, with the message “For anyone dealing with depression, or who knows someone dealing with depression or other mental illness – you need to watch this video. Once again, Jenny Lawson is amazing, and you need to hear what she has to say.”

    Less than half an hour later, a good friend posted that she was “done dealing with this for the last few years alone. Anyone have a name of a ‘good psycologist dealing with stress and depression that’s in the Blue Cross/ Blue shield network in Chicago? Could really use it.Can’rt deal with the stress on my own any more.”

    She’s already received several suggestions and links for sites describing the different kinds of therapists and counselors, so that she can get an idea of where to start, as well as lots of encouragement.

    So – you did that. Someone is going to get help because of you. Thank you.

  275. I really want to thank you for posting this video. I think you are a wonderful person and it helps me to see that I am not the only one who deals with these feelings. Coincidentally, I began using the techniques that you mentioned a few months ago and they really do help especially the one about telling myself that my thoughts are simply in my head. Once again thanks for the video.

  276. Thank you. Those last sentences brought tears raining down. I really needed to hear this today.

  277. depression is a lying bitch-whore. thanks for sharing your insightful experience, and your spot-on advice.

  279. Thanks for opening yourself up and sharing. I always feel weird or awkward when I tell people that I feel anxious, depressed or melancholy. As if the only proper emotion is enthusiastic. Boring, happy people….
    You are a breath of fresh air.

  280. I am reading your book. It may kill me as I am laughing so much that I am getting breathless due to allergy caused bronchitis. I laugh and then I start to cough and my lungs seize up and I might die but I will die laughing thanks to you.

    I hope that wasn’t depressing or anything.
    Spoiler alert:
    Not to get anymore depressing but I also had a doctor tell me in a flat, unemotional voice, “your baby is dead.” This was also my first pregnancy so I can relate.

    This is depressing.

    To cheer up I also did some HR work. I had an application with a 3 page explanation of why the Domestic Violence charge on the applicants record was totally not her fault. It involved gangs, drugs, and a police chase. She was not hired because she didn’t have the right educational background.

    I love you.

    Katy

  281. It took me three times to actually watch this. First time, the family interrupted me. The second time, I started reading the comments and weeping inconsolably (the Shakespeare quote killed me for some reason). The third time, I only had to pause twice (wotcha watching Mom?). Sigh… Okay, I won’t leave. I was at the train station with those big engines and I didn’t leave. I agree with you, it is something in the air or some psychotic cycle (anti-seasonal disorder–we’re getting too much sun?)? I am feeling completely broken tonight and very fragile and your video is just what I needed. You are so beautiful and badass, Jenny. Thank you for your amazing blog, book and tour (yay Northern California!). And thank you saying, “Don’t leave.” I really appreciate it.

  283. Thank you so very much for posting this. I have generalized anxiety and depression (and hypochondria). For the longest time, I thought I was just shy and quirky, suffering from frequent headaches and stomachaches. It’s only in the past few years that I was actually diagnosed and started to be treated for it. I take an anti-depressant, I have alprazolam on hand for the bad panic attacks, and I recently started seeing a therapist who uses ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which I’ve found incredibly helpful. I try to be as open as I can with my friends, my coworkers, and anyone who reads my tweets and blog posts. But by far the most important things to remember are:

    * WE ARE NOT ALONE.
    * DEPRESSION LIES.

  284. IT DOES LIE. and forso long. and then even when you’re over the depression (if you are one of those lucky few) , it sneaks up and tells you about how much you’ve missed while you’ve been depressed/
    I wrote a not very epic blog about a poem that every depressed person should read. It describes SO WELL. This poem was my personal realization of OMG there are other people like me and hey hurt just as deeply

    http://brokensaints.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/having-it-out-with-melancholy/

    it’s not just depression, it’s the recovery after, if you’re lucky to get to the after.

  286. Jenny. Thank you. Thank you for being a real human. And for sharing your talents with the world. And for being broken (funny – that’s how I always refer to myself!). And for being BRAVE. I pray you keep it up, and scream it from any soapbox you can find. This disease needs more champions like you!

  287. When I thanked you at the end of your Corte Madera signing and quickly and quietly said you had helped me, this is how. (I don’t know if you remember…you’ve probably met a million people who’ve said the same thing!) I need these reminders. Daily. Please keep reminding us that depression is a lying bastard. It’s so hard to forget.

  288. I’ve been well for about a decade, and I am at once so very glad along with somewhat surprised to be able to say that.

    My family, both sides, has suffered from severe mental illness for at least a 3 generations, and I too picked up the (unwanted) flaming brand when I was born.

    I feel, acutely, the statement you made about how opinions and general interactions have changed in the last few decades – I am a child of the 70’s, and spent up to the age of 16 terrified of everything, and people treated me as an outcast as a result. From sixteen I doubled back and masked the fear with some really poor behaviour, toward myself and others (s’okay, there aren’t any bodies to be dug up – I just wasn’t a particularly nice human being – to anyone, myself included)

    During my twenties I lived in a pit. No way forward, and none back. For the most part I was numb. At other times I had an active and very real desire to not be there – or anywhere.

    Then in my early thirties something turned the switch off. I am unaware of what it was, or why – although I suspect I know a large part of the reason.

    The person with me through my 20’s is now my wife – she just knew where I was at, no drama, no judgement – she just knew. She’d tell me it was going to be okay, she’d always stand up to the demon.

    In short she was (and still is) my angel.

    In January we’l be remarried in Vegas for our 10th wedding anniversary, a day after our 17th year of being together. I can’t even conceive of trying to tell the Me-guy of 17 years ago that I live the life I do, and am so loved. I wish I could…

    This is the first time I have written about my illness in a public forum.

    It’s time more people stood up, as you have done.

  290. You did a wonderful job with this video. It was more moving, truthful and real than any other video I have ever seen about depression. I myself suffer from Severe Anxiety Disorder, and like you I have major depression. Some days I’m up and some days it knocks me on my butt! It can be hard just to ‘shake it off’. I wish it were that easy! I have felt at times that it would be better if I wasn’t here. Then I remember that I have 2 children that would be very sad and maybe scared for life. That keeps me sane during those crazy times. There are also mornings that before I even get out of bed that a weight sits on my shoulder and feels like ‘doom and gloom’ and it makes me feel paralyzed with fear. Therapy can be a life saver. It has helped me to voice my fears, whereas I used to hold it all in. I am wishing you the best of luck with your anxiety and depression. I myself know that it is not easy or fun.

  291. i spent the weekend before last laughing all the way through your book…
    and tonight your video-message was just what i needed…
    through the tears,
    thank you,
    ~j

  292. I hope you know how much you help people. How much you’ve helped me. This video had me in tears. I really don’t know what to say. Just…thank you

  293. I do want you to know I posted this video on my Facebook and I have ordered your book for my daughter who suffers from depression and anxiety. It has been a bad few months for me and your book makes me laugh. I can’t remember laughing for a long time. Thank you.

  295. I wasn’t expecting the last bit of the video. Thank you for making me cry. We need that told to us every now and then. 🙂

  296. This video really touched me and what I’m going through. I’m so glad you have the strength to reach out to others and give them support and encouragement.

  297. And now I have one more reason to love you. Thank you so much for this video. Thank you for being you and for sharing you with the rest of the world. I will be able to look at myself and say, “Jenny says, ‘please don’t leave'”. And I’ll say it back, “please don’t leave”, we love you and want you. Take good care of you! Here’s to happy days!

  298. Thank you for your strength and honesty. You are giving a voice to those that don’t have the courage to fish up for themselves….yet. My step sister attempt to take her own life last week and for a while it looked like she may have succeeded. As anyone who has battled this demon I know how lonely it feels but you are speaking up and because if it many of those suffering know they aren’t alone. Thank you. YOU ARE AMAZING!

  299. Thanks so much for this video. I’m having a really hard time this week, today in particular, and your video really helped remind me of some important aspects of this illness. The biggie for me is that I think my doc and I need to revisit my meds. I’ve known that this med didn’t seem to quite be right for some time, but the whole “switching meds” thing is can be sooooo awful, so I’ve been avoiding it.

  300. I have bad panic attacks too. They feel like an airplane emergency manual…except not the standard issue one, but the one where all the passengers are panicing and the plane is on fire. You can image search that one if you like.

  301. “You are important.”

    That’s the first time someone has said that to me and I’ve believed it in as long as I can remember. Thank you.

  302. Thank you for posting this. I love that you can say things in a way that people can relate to, that you can be so honest about the things that you struggle with, and that you are making it okay to talk about how you think and feel. I’m in my 20s and have been working towards becoming a psychologist. Part of that has involved working with teenagers with severe anxiety and depression, including suicidal ideation, that is breaking them down every day. I could not agree more strongly with your sentiment that “depression lies” and would like to add that “anxiety lies”, too. Every day I would see these gorgeous kids losing hope and a sense of who they were because their brains were telling them that they were worthless or that they should fear everything. I admire them every day for taking each step that felt achievable despite how hard it is. I see their families who love them desperately, who will do anything to help, but struggle to know what to do or how to understand. I see all of their amazing qualities that get hidden from them by their anxiety and depression. And, I’ve seen them come out the other side and remember their strengths and face the things that they used to find hard. Every day they, like you, inspire me to be a better person. And yet, in the midst of this, I’ve experienced my own big burst of anxiety and depression and struggle every day with people and doing simple tasks. This is a so hard for me because I am the person that works with people like me, knows the strategies, knows that mental health issues are a lie and I STILL CAN’T convince myself of this when it comes to my own life, or find the courage to tell people how I feel. I have to take time out from doing the one thing I want to do and be, because I can’t even cope with myself right now. This only shows me how depression and anxiety are the biggest liars of them all. I’m trying to work up the courage right now to see a professional colleague about my issues because I know that they won’t judge, that I need help and that it can get better, but it’s still really hard. So, thank you again, for getting this out there and making it okay. Good luck to everyone who is struggling. You are not alone. It will get better.

  303. You are so eloquent and warm-hearted and brave and generally awesome, Jenny. I know you’ll pull through, keep strong.

  304. My mom thinks that panic and anxiety attacks have to do with solar activity, and that more panic/anxiety attacks are related to them. I’m not sure what to think about what she says, but both me and my mother have an anxiety disorder.

  305. Depression lies… but I’m glad I’m broken. Although, I have to say, today I am not feeling the second part of that so much. I needed your message today. I really did. Thank you. The timing could not have been more perfect. I had just updated my (sad and pathetic) blog with the struggles I have been going through with my Bipolar disorder lately. Today wasn’t a good day. In fact, I headed over here for a laugh in the hopes of ending my day/night on a good note. No laughs, but lot of love. Even if it wasn’t meant specifically for me, I felt it. I needed it. Thank you.

    “Depression lies.” I needed that. I really did. Much better than “This too shall pass,” but it will. And when it does, I will once more be glad I’m broken. Thank you.

  306. Depression is a real bag of crap. I’m deep in the pit of it at the moment, and doing everything I always do to keep treading water. Putting my bra on every morning and making sure the kids get fed. I’m no fun, I cannot wash my hair or settle down to changing the bedding, but I’m spending hours painting my nails, (self medication) and spending hours on my blog and reading other peoples. Therapy helped me the first time, this time I feel I don’t really have anything I can point to and say ‘s/he did it’ so i know that it’s a serotonin issue and I just have to ride it out. I have no flowery words of support or glib little -isms just wanted to add to the number of people who this post touched and be counted as one of many, a tribe, who are all in this together.
    Or, as my Grandad would have said, Chin Up Love.

  307. Thank you for that. I’ve read your blog for a long time and I never posted a comment, but now I just want to say thank you for answering this question here and for being such an open and amazing person, it really helps to know there are so many others out these somewhere. For some reason, this made me decide to buy your book today and I know I won’t regret it. Honestly, thank you.

  309. What a wonderful experience to watch and hear someone talk so openly about their most inner demons. Mainly because I have the same ones! 22years since being diagnosed with bipolar, and yes the mind does tell you enormous “porkies” and I need to remember that it is not true. Many thanks.

  310. You are an amazing person and incredibly brave for sharing with the world. Keep kicking ass Jenny. The world is definitely better with you in it.

  311. This Saturday I woke up and ordered one of your Depression is a Lying Bastard buttons for myself. I plan to pin it to whatever bag I happen to be carrying with me every day because this last month has been one of the hardest I’ve had in years. One of my saving graces has been you, this blog, and all the other blogs I have found through you. You are one of my heroes, and have gotten me through some low ass times with your honesty and unmitigated hilarity and I cannot tell you how glad I am to have discovered the therapy group that is The Bloggess community. Thank you, as hard as it may be for you sometimes, for being so unapologetically you.

  312. Jenny, you are amazingly awesome!!! Thank you so much for posting this.

  313. Personally, I just wish I could find an actual effective drug for depression/anxiety. One I am currently on keeps me from walking around the house hating the world and thinking about a bleak future. Just still dont feel like doing crap! It gets old. My life is boring enough without me nixing shit I could actually be doing! I am also caught in that Catch-22 of having to go out to meet people but you dont want to go out alone so you dont go out so you are alone so you dont meet people, etc. I just need somebody to lean on when I am in a crowd of strangers and/or to say we have something to do, come on. I will usually go if someone else says lets go …just that I am not a very good motivator for me. Bah!

  314. It helped to hear you talk about wanting vs. not wanting your mental illness. So many great things have happened since and because of my suffering a profound loss that wouldn’t have happened otherwise…but I don’t want to have had the loss. Complicated and scary.

    Be well. Mel.

  316. Jenny,
    About 3 months ago I finally decided that I needed to come to terms with the depression that I’ve had for 12 years. The day I made my appointment with my therapist, I messaged you on Twitter. Your response meant everything to me, and it still does. This video felt like you were talking directly to me. I don’t have a very good support system, I don’t really like talking about it to anyone except my therapist, my family never suspected anything, and my boyfriend doesn’t understand or believe in therapy or drugs. Reading these posts from you and watching this video makes me feel so much less alone in all of this.

    I hope soon I’ll have the courage to blog about my experiences as well. I’m not quite at the point that I want to be public with my problems.

    Thank you so much for everything.

    PS Bought your book on Saturday, and I’m already more than halfway through! Can’t put it down!

  319. You are so wonderful…in every way. You may not have cried in your video, but I did while watching it. Thank you for sharing the deepest part of yourself in such a real and vulnerable way. You help so many others by just putting into words what we cannot even think about speaking aloud. Depression is so hard, but you are right that it makes people who suffer from it feel more and see more deeply what lies beneath the surface of a smiling face. I think you are one of the most wonderful people on the planet…so so special. Keep being the funny, quirky, and vulnerable self that you are because that is what we love about your most. 🙂

  320. I have SAD and winter times are very very rough for me. This winter, I discovered Vitamin D. Make sure you’re getting a good brand that delivers as much as it claims it does (try USP certified brands, which are tested for that). One thing I found — I went straight to a megadose like 4000mg/day and I had horrible painful constipation. Ya gotta ease into it. Also, I didn’t yet find out what they are, but megadosing without reason can have some negative consequences. I was a very happy guy (compared to usual) with 1000mg in the AM and another 1000 in the PM. Your mileage may vary of course, and ideally you should get tested because no sense taking more (nor less) than you really could use.

  322. Thank you for your empathy and honesty. And a big, huge full moon IS coming. A supermoon. So hang on, and get ready for the BEAUTY.

  323. Thank you for sharing! I’ve struggled with depression for several years. Therapy definately helps and a support system. Husband, Friends, the hobo down the road…whoever. Someone to listen and believe in you! You Rock, Girl! I like Rick C’s advice on Vitamin D, I’ve been taking as well…and think its helped keep me more even. I’ve tried drugs in the past (prozac and zoloft) and prefer life without them…but I am sure there are better alternatives these days.
    Thank you for making me laugh and cry and love all in the same moment!

  327. Your honesty is amazing, and I am sure that it has helped so many. Both those struggling themselves and friends and family watching their loved ones struggle.
    I deal with some mild seasonal depression, and I know it is mild but it still drags me down and takes me to that dark place. Knowing what I go through, I feel so much for people fighting stronger issues than I. Today is May 1st, which is my symbolic corner to turn, away from the darkness and into the sun. Here’s to being in the light!

  328. Thank you for posting this. I had a horrible weekend. I had panic attacks for the first time in my life and was at the dr. at 8am on Monday morning getting medication and making follow-up visits. Yesterday I felt normal for the first time in a while and today is even better. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone.

  329. I have depression, anxiety and chronic pain from fibromyalgia. Having just been let go from my job last month, after just returning from a disability leave, I now also have a legal issue on my hands. That, I have chosen, however. I’ve stayed fairly together through this last month, but as a matter of self-preservation we’ve changed our vacation in May from going to New Orleans to going to a beach vacation in Puerto Vallarta. I think recognizing that I haven’t “crashed” yet from the recent events is good, but recognizing that the stimuli of New Orleans’ (the wonderful city that it is) may not be good for me, is even better. It’s these little things, this self-awareness that has kept me going.
    We hide the Tylenol 3 around here.
    And I got a puppy last August. He is my world. And he gets me outside. He’s also a good listener. A goldendoodle.
    Thank you Jenny, for making is easier to get these words out there. xo

  330. I actually watched the whole thing, which is rare for me. I usually don’t have the attention span for video. You engaged me. I have been in treatment for years now. I have “major episodic depression” and anxiety and other stuff I’d rather not say. Thanks so much for sharing. I cannot tell you how many times my therapist has said to me, “That’s the depression talking.” It is so, so true but I don’t always know this. Being honest with people is helpful and recently I’ve found that keeping a journal — not a deep thoughts journal — but a journal writing down even the mundane tasks I’ve completed gives me some peace and makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. Writing down my worst thoughts, without analysis, helps get them out, too. “I’m worried that . . .” or “I’m beating myself up because . . . ” I don’t know, it helps. Anyway, thanks for sharing. As for meds, I, too believe that the right meds can be very helpful, but that the process can take a while. When changing meds it is so important to talk to your doctor about withdrawal, mine didn’t help me or warn me and it was hell. See my post, “Getting Off The Meds” http://wp.me/p1sXPw-ct Sun, physical activity and trying to mind comic relief is helpful, too. Thanks again so much for sharing

  331. Damn you Jenny, for making me cry at the end. But also, thank you for being an advocate for this. It helps immensely to know that I’m not the only one dealing with a case of the crazies, because sometimes it really feels like I am.

  332. Jenny, you are a smart, funny, talented and beautiful. You are a wonderful person, and reading your blog (and book– please come to Buffalo on your tour!) has made many crappy days happier for me! I know this is likely no consolation, and it won’t change what you’re dealing with, but I wanted you to know just how great I think you are!

    –Michelle

  334. Wow. I’m so moved by your words and grateful you are reaching out to the world by sharing your story. You are making a huge difference in ways you will never know. Go Jenny! ~Lots of Love…xcoxo~

  336. Ernest Hemingway – “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”

  337. Thanks for being so brave to talk really honestly about this stuff. I’d like to emphasize the importance of diet and exercise — its literally saved my life. The first thing I look at when I start sinking into a depression is if my diet has gotten shitty or if I haven’t worked out/gotten outside enough lately. Frequently that is the culprit, although sometimes you do everything right and it still happens. You just have to remember this too, will pass.

  339. Wow…I have loved you since you brought home Beyonce! I feel like you are me in so many ways. I have suffered from deep depression for at least 16 years and probably many before I realized what hell was wrong. I have done the drug thing and taken myself off with devastating consequences. I have been on a cocktail of drugs for over twelve years and have resigned myself that I will be for the rest of my life. Self harm is very real. If you feel it coming on, TELL SOMEONE, ANYONE. Sunshine and exercise are always good, depressed or not. I have found that my Happy Lite [artificial sunlight with no tan :(] is extremely helpful on gray days. It has taken me years to get to a place where I am comfortable with who I am. The fog has lifted for awhile, a long while I hope. May God, your family and friends be with you as you conquer this ugly illness. And your friend was right…DEPRESSION LIES! It is a lying son of a bitch that must be ignored!

    I am so loving your book right now. I have laughed hard enough at night to wake my husband. He doesn’t get it. Although, I will say he is my rock and I am lucky that he finally sees that I am broken but I’m a big girl and can face it head on. Take care and thanks for the exposure. We depressed folks need all the help we can get.

  340. I just have to say how much I love that you are reaching out to so many people struggling with the same thing. One of Depression’s lies is that you are alone…and you are proving over and over again that THAT is not the case.

  342. This made me cry because I really really needed it right now. Last thursday I spoke to some mental health professionals to get some long term therapy because I’m better then I was, but I still need help and I’ve been struggling for the last week.

    I will also say that for self harming I’ve discovered writing on my arms with a sharpie helps. Especially writing nice things to my self. For instance I’ve taken to writing the word ‘strong’ on my wrist. This works because a) I’m marking myself and it gives me that sense of release and of marked skin without hurting myself and b) it’s a CBT thing, once you start writing nice things on your arm it gets easier and lifts your mood, then when it starts to drop again you have reminders of positive things.

    They don’t have to be words like ‘brilliant’ but things like ‘honest’ or ‘cares’

    Also I would say tell someone. If you can’t tell them directly write them an email or a letter but don’t bury it.

    And thank you Jenny, this was something I needed

  343. I’m not a sufferer of mental illness in the traditional sense (beyond some mild anxiety) but I am a sufferer because my very best friend in the whole world is a sufferer. Hearing the way you write about it and talk about it has helped me to understand her pain better. For that, and for being the awesomesauce woman you are, I thank you.

  344. anxiety is a lying bitch. no, even worse, it’s a catty clique-ish high school girl. i’ve been feeling twinges of it, so i’m guessing this full moon is going to be a bad one. thus, i’ve been hoarding my xanax and cymbalta to prepare. i looove that you said “we are all in this together” it makes me feel so much less alone. thank you. and loves. much loves.

  345. You would think that by the time you get to my age you’d know better but a couple of years ago now I bought into the hype that I should just start a gratitude journal, pull up my big girl undies and deal with my life unmedicated. I went off my Effexor for 18 mos. Every day was a struggle. Finally I said “Fuck it.”and went back on my meds.

    Best decision ever.

  346. Thanks you so much for making and posting this video. I have struggled personally with everything you talked about, and I applaud your courage to be vocal and public, and to use your experience to help others. I think right now is a period that a lot of people are experiencing a resurgance of issues, as many people I have talked to are going through a difficult phase right now, myself included, and your video was very helpful, and reminded me of some things I need to do to take better care opf myself. I am also sending it to a friend who is struggling deeply with depression and suicidal thoughts right now, and I hope that it will help her. Thank you for your blog, it is a source of great joy and uplifts my mood–the ultimate mood enhancer–with no side effects!

  347. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    I needed this so bad. I think I’m going to have to print out those last few lines and put them somewhere I’m going to see them a lot for awhile. “The people in your life want you there…Don’t leave.”

    Thank you for showing us that it is possible to be amazing and beautiful and hilarious and bigger than words, but still struggle with the same things that so many of us do. Your grace and ability to keep rising above this depression demon…it gives me such hope that I can one day do it too.

    Thank you.

  348. You are really awesome. No seriously. Because it’s SOOOOO hard to talk about this stuff. I know I have trouble just telling my friends about what I go through and/or have been diagnosed with and how that effects me. I have been on a campaign in the last 2 years or so to be more open about who I am (I’m me, ya’ll, and if you don’t like it, too effing bad!) but it doesn’t come naturally because I’m totally an introvert and shy and anxious as hell. So you get major bonus point kudos for being so brave!

    I really like the phrase “depression lies”. It is a great way to sum up the problem of listening to your own mind when it’s full of shit. Or more full of shit than usual.

    I also love that you said “your brain is part of your body too” that is how we should all view it. Not the way I was raised which is totally “suck it up you whiner” and “depression doesn’t exist”. Yeah. So not helpful!

    Therapy and drugs are awesome. Anyone considering them should totally get them! But like Jenny said, legal prescription ones, and monitored by a doc because sometimes they are most definitely NOT the right one for you, but then you find the right one for you and you are fully happy and relieved and free to write long run-on sentences on your fave person’s blog every day instead of hiding under the covers.

    Thank you Jenny Bloggess You. Are. Great.

  350. One of the things I try to do during an episode is ask myself if I would stand for someone else to say the things to me that I am saying to myself. Generally the answer is no, because if someone told me that I was worthless, useless and a total loser, etc., I’d probably punch them in the face. Also, when depressed, I avoid alcohol like the plague – it makes the bad feelings a million times worse, in my experience.

    Another thing I do is visualize all the ugliness in my head as something truly disgusting that I’m holding in my hand. Then I imagine my hand just setting it down, all the while repeating to myself, “Just put it down. Just put it down.” That one actually sounds silly but helps so much.

  351. I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said or expressed a thousand times, but I follow your blog, I suffer from depression and anxiety and, your video made me cry – not because it was sad, but because it was so nice to hear someone understand and say so eloquently what is so hard for me to describe. “Depression Lies” is one of my new favorite mottoes… and I’m going to add “Don’t Leave” to it also. Thank you for being so brave. I’ve never commented before because, how could someone as awesome as you, with a book and famous blog and is so funny and so witty, have time or care about someone as lost and broken as me. But – maybe we can all help each other. So thank you for coming out of one of your lows and sharing with us. I am going to add this video to the mix of my personal mortar, which I will use to hold my broken pieces together.
    And with grateful tears, I say again, Thank you Jenny.

  353. While I know it won’t fix everyone, for those who have only recently started to have anxiety and/or depression–it may be your diet! When I cut out wheat, soy, and canola/vegetable oil and started eating lots of animal fat, the weird freakouts and creeping sense of dread went away.

    that said, anyone know how Ally Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half) is doing? She dropped a depression post and vanished. I worry.

  355. I know there are a million comments about your post, but I just HAD to add my two cents.
    THANK YOU, for posting this. You have no idea how important and timely it was. 🙂

  357. I shared your video with a dear friend of mine who is going through some major depression/anxiety issues right now. Thank you so much for sharing your insights & your caring for others.

  358. I’m not good with words but I just wanted to say that I LOVE this post. I just started seeing a doctor for my depression after almost 15 years of “dealing” with it on my own. Thanks for your honesty strength in sharing with others. I’ve learned that it’s OK to ask for help.

  359. I don’t suffer and I’m so thankful for that. Here’s to cheer, here’s to sunnier days and here’s a big FU to illnesses that not only make you ill, they lie to you!

  362. Isn’t “We’re all in this together” a song from High School musical? And I mean, really, that was a horrible rendition of what high school is like. At no time did my friends and I break out into song, especially not the jocks. I mean, yeah, I could see us band/theater kids doing it, but we never did. Ever. Disney lies. So wait, if Disney lies, does that mean Disney is like Depression? I need to look into this…

    *da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa* The More You Know.

    This (kind-of) positive post is brought to you by: anti-depression drugs. Mine are a mix of light and dark blue this prescription!

    -The End

  363. I have depression, anxiety, SAD, and chronic pain from fibromyalgia and degenerative disk disease. Over the past few days, I’ve been going through one of the worst depressive episodes I’ve had in a long, long time. I spent all day yesterday in bed reading your book, alternately crying and then laughing through the tears.

    Thank you for your video – I so needed that. It made me cry, but It also makes me want to fight this lying bastard called depression even harder. I actually feel a little better after watching the video.

    YOU are important. And wonderful. Don’t leave. I won’t either, ‘k?

  364. Thank you for posting. I just started treatment for anxiety, mild depression, and ADHD. I have been blogging pretty openly about it. I have worried how it might hurt my career, but it is time for this to stop being a taboo.

  365. I don’t want to suggest that depression and anxiety can be cured by a book, but you might want to check this out: http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Self-Help-Techniques/dp/159486425X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1335884612&sr=8-2 and this: http://www.amazon.com/EMDR-Breakthrough-Movement-Therapy-Overcoming/dp/0465043011/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

    Basically, the idea is that the way the brain processes information can be tweaked with specific rapid eye movements to help sufferers overcome anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. Work looking at?

    And Jenny? You’re awesome.

  366. So very sorry you’re going through a rough patch. A lying, stinking, awful fucker of a rough patch. Sending calm and happy karma your way.

  367. I am in the throes of a depressive episode and was feeling particularly bad as I sat down at my computer and I just burst into tears to find this post waiting for me. Your timing is impeccable. Depression lies. That is my mantra now too. Such good, strong, true words. Thank you from the bottom of my (sometimes miserable) little heart.

  368. You are such an inspiration. When you said “I want you there” it made me cry. So many times, I feel like people would be better off without me – depression LIES. And even though I know theoretically that my family needs me here, I still believe sometimes they don’t.

    Thank you for being broken because it makes it okay for us to be broken too. And it makes us see what we can accomplish when we are broken.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  369. When you combine all of your isssues, it starts to sound similar to my mix of Borderline Personality Disorder. I know they are not the same, but I can relate in so many ways.

    There are two things I felt I needed to respond to. First, self harm. Self harm is new to me. I never so much as thought about it and now just it is a real thing in my life. A large chunk of my blog never gets published. I have started writing when I am upset, or dealing with an overload of emotions. I can sort through my thoughts and pick out what is real and what is not.

    The second thing is drugs. I know that I need them to control my symptoms well I attend therapy. My husband and his brother, however, feel they are an unnecesary expensive. They don’t live inside the mess that is my head. I wish they could understand that they are a temporary thing for me. Listen to suppress my emotions and other symptoms long enough to learn to cope Then I can wean myself off of them in 5 years. Until then they are a must

  370. I think so many people are reaching out to you about anxiety and depression is because we are reading your book and empathizing with you.

    When I try to convey to my wife or friends just exactly how messed up some of my thought patterns are or the worries that I have that are so completely asinine that logically I KNOW they won’t come true but emotionally I FEEL like they will, I’m usually met with looks of complete incomprehension or statements like “Oh we all have bad days.” or “Why don’t you just tell yourself differently” or something similarly perfectly logical but completely without understanding. SOOO, when someone else comes along as is just as messed up (ok in your case more so) as we, and seems perfectly approachable, people feel like they have to connect with that person that “gets it”.

    Yeah, that’s right. I just dropped a nugget of wisdom on your ass. You’re welcome.

    Oh and thank you for being brave enough to share what most people suffer in silence with.

  371. Lithium Orotate helps type II depressives. My spouse and I both use it, with good effect. It smooths the cycles and helps us be much calmer without dulling emotions. It’s not the same as Lithium Caltrate, which is very hard on the body, and is sold as a food supplement without prescription.

  372. Thank you, Jenny. I have fibromyalgia and it’s usually well controlled by medication (a big YAY! for better living through modern chemistry). Every once in a while, the fibro monster and it’s lethal sidekick, depression, break loose and try to screw with me again. I’ve been feeling it lurking, looking for a way out, for the last week. It’s so helpful, such a relief, to hear from you and all the other people leaving comments here that I am not alone, and that my thoughts and my pains are a disease, not me. THANK YOU ALL!

    By the way, I love your book, Jenny, but I can’t read it before I go to sleep anymore because my laughing and snorting keeps waking up my partner. I know it’s weird to be proud of a complete stranger but I am so proud of you. I wanted to cry when I saw your book at the top of the NYT list. I love it when I see broken people succeed. It reminds me that I can succeed, too, even if I am broken.

  373. Thank you for making this video. Since I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I have spoken about it in public a lot. I don’t hide that I have it or that I’m on medication for it. I’m trying to do my part to make the social stigma go away. I also hope that maybe someone out there hears me and decides to get help.

    This video made my heart swell! Not because any of us suffer through the depression and anxiety, but because it’s one more person out there in the world talking about it. It’s a hard thing to talk about and I often get a bit teary, but it needs to be done.

    Hugs to all! And remember, we want you here.

  374. It’s totally the moon I bet. Worst one ever last Saturday night, with a bunch of friends, at a club away from home. Suddenly the room, everyone in it, and my whole head fell into a panic attic with a side of claustrophobia. Once I managed to escape back to where we were staying, my head proceeded to tell me that I ruined my husband’s night out with his friends that he hardly gets to see, and he would have every right to be upset about it. Days later he’s still reminding me that I was the only person in that room he cared about at that moment. And that’s why I know it’s going to be ok.

  375. Wonderful. Thank you for posting this! I struggle with my anxiety and depression, and am recently emerging from a particularly bad battle that has left me scarred. At least, I think I’m emerging. The worst thing for me, in a way, is the uncertainty of the climb back up – am I really getting better, or is this a momentary let up before I start drowning in it all again?

    Thanks for your words. I’ve shared your video on my blog, since you put it so eloquently.

  377. Jenny, thank you again for doing this. The more amazing people like you open up, the better it will be for all of us. Just always remember that you are never alone. {{{hugging you}}}

  378. Jenny, you are wonderful and caring and brave to speak out this way. I have said before I know where you are coming from, with my own depression and anxiety issues, and a bag full of pills that I take every day just so I can sort of function. Some weeks are better; some weeks are worse.

    Love, you have a book at the top of the NY Times bestseller list. Remind yourself of that. I know, Depression lies, it tells you it doesn’t count, it tells you it was a fluke, it tells you all sorts of evil things. But look at the hundreds and hundreds of people who want to read what you say every day. It is not a fluke. You are brilliant and wonderful.

    You are beautiful, too.
    Hang in there. I’ll try to, also. We damaged people have to stick together.

  379. Thank you for sharing this. I hope I can be as strong as you. When I’m really down, I like to look at your posts about depression – reminds me that I’m not alone, and it’s possible to be awesome despite the sad.

    I’m going to go look up shrinks now. Thank you again.

  380. The past week has been hell! I have one hand clutching the rim of that black hole! I am holding on tight trying not to slip in! I agree it must be the moon!!!!!! Hoping this is over soon! Thanks for the video it’s helped me hold on!

  381. Thank you, Jennie, for this today. I needed to hear someone tell me I’m important. I don’t feel that, and my daughters have shoved me out of their lives, and family is gone. I have my dh, but he doesn’t get it, he has Asperger’s and doesn’t understand the need for connecting with another person so much. I have friends, and they help. I just sometimes feel all alone.

    YOU HELPED ME TODAY!!!!!

    You didn’t cry, but I did. And it’s ok.

    Thank you.

  382. Jenny, I’ve been there, it’s a hard place ..it’ll be okay, and you are totally right, this life is worth living, no matter what the nasty voices say.

  383. Jenny,

    I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a little girl and my condition has worsened during the past two years due to ptsd. I was only recently introduced to your blog and your book by my best friend. She shared your post “The Fight Goes On” with me hoping that your words would help. After I read it I cried and cried – tears because your words so accurately described my similar condition that it saddened, pained, and frightened me reading about it in black and white – and tears because your words so accurately described my condition that it brought me relief, gratitude, and happiness that finally someone not only understood, but could express it all in a way that I could not.

    Thank you for your bravery.
    And thank you to my best friend, my rock, who found Jenny for me!

  388. Just printed out my bracelet. Was recently diagnosed with sever depression. I am taking vibriid. Feel better. Your video was spot on. I am blessed with a husband that made me get help. The bracket will help me remember. I’m sure I will have highs & lows.

  389. Even though we’ve never met, I feel like I’ve known you a long time. Having similar struggles with something that will never go away will do that I guess. Know that it takes a very strong person to make a video like this and that you are a wonderful and witty woman! You are blessed to have people around you who support you and don’t judge you because that can make all the difference in the world. As I deal with my own issues, I wish I had just one person who would be there for me. I enjoy reading your blog – keep it up!

  390. Jenny, you are an amazing person. Your ability to open up has helped countless others, including myself. You helped me today, Jenny. Thank you.

  392. jenny,

    i’m not at all surprised that the past several weeks have caught up with you. i was amazed that you were able to go through all those signings without having to hide under the table. that took a lot of guts. and no wigs either!

    i loved the video, and the final message. i loved the book. i love your tweets.

    i have bipolar disorder and general anxiety. you make a difference in my life. thank you.

  393. This is my first comment here, but I couldn’t lurk any longer.

    I had to watch this video in stages, because I was crying so much, for you and for myself both. Thank you. Thank you for making these videos, for caring so much about the people who interact with you. For putting yourself out there to help other people. And for being so incredibly, vibrantly you. Thank you for making me feel like it’s okay to be broken, because it doesn’t have to define me. We’re out here, and even though we’re perfect strangers, we need you, and we want you here, and we care about you. Don’t leave. Don’t ever leave.

  394. I wish I could just keep a copy of this video on my phone to play for any of the clients I may get called out on who are suicidal.
    Thank you for your honesty and reaching out towards others. It makes it all a little better knowing we’re not alone and that depression does lie.

  395. Wow, Jenny. Just when I think that I can’t love you anymore. I love your honesty and bravery and I LOVE that you are using your powers for good. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and it’s so comforting to see you reaching out to others as well as reading all of these lovely comments.

    Oh and is that a Blythe doll collection behind you???? I LOVE Blythe! I actually had an original when I was a little girl and threw it out. Yes, I am a dumbas.

  396. Thank you.

    I am broken too.

    I have been battling with depression longer than I have known I was depressed. It has now put a large strain on my marriage, and my wife and I are trying to work things out. Your blog is something we share with each other, and she sent me a link to this.

    So thank you. Not only for this particular post, but for being a inspiration for laughter between the two of us.

    I wish you luck in all you do. I also wish you success in fighting your own mental health issues.

    Broken…but not destroyed.

  397. I just saw your video. I am sure everyone has an “answer” to share but I have to give you my two cents. Find a very good Acupuncturist. I suffered for years from anxiety, depression, and compulsion issues. Therapy, agree 100% was amazing and I still use it, but what helped my therapy to finally rid me of my anxiety and depression was Acupuncture.

    Acupuncture works on the physical part of these issues in a way talk therapy cannot. I specialize in these issues and it works WONDERS when used together with talk therapy. Break through to the other side and please try this wonderful way of healing. You will not regret it.

  398. This is such a wonderful video, thank you. I’ve been diagnosed bipolar since I was 13 (I’m nearly 25 now), self-harmed through my school and university years, had suicidal spells in my mid-teens, have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and have also suffered severe agoraphobia in my early 20s which meant I didn’t leave the house for a year. And I agree with EVERYTHING YOU SAY!

    All this has made me who I am, and even though it’s absolutely hellish when I’m in the middle of a depressive episode, my panic attacks while I battled my agoraphobia were horrendous, and I’ve come up against my fair share of ignorance and fear along the way, it’s also made me a stronger, more empathetic, more generous and less materialistic person. Now I’m less scared of little things, less attached to things, and definitely more APPRECIATIVE of simple pleasures, because for a while there I nearly lost it all. Like you, I also try to talk about my experiences as openly as I can these days, because I feel like that way I’m doing my part to help teach people, reassure people, and break down the stigma around mental health issues.

    I’ve just discovered your blog (HOW can it have taken me this long?) but you now have one more devoted fan! 🙂

  399. I think the reason I love you so much, Jenny, is that what you publish is so brutally honest. Doctors, therapists, self-help advocates, family and friends, even those who have been through the same thing, so often regurgitate the same bullshit. The same bullshit that we tell ourselves we *should* be thinking, *should* be doing, that *should* be helping. But it doesn’t. I’ve been guilty of spreading it around myself when I’m in a good place and trying to help a friend who isn’t. This video spoke to the “me” that I am in the good place as well as the “me” that I am at the bottom of the black abyss of my depression. It actually helped, and today I really needed the help. So, thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your courage. I normally don’t have the patience or the attention span to watch a whole video, let alone read all the 388 comments on it. I did today because once you started talking, I heard myself.
    Dont’ Leave.

  401. Jenny, I love you for you. Your wit and humor make me furiously happy.

    And for everyone out there that struggles with depression, I want to echo what Jenny said: Depression lies. The people in your life want you there and need you there. You are fantastic and wonderful and you should never dwell on thoughts trying to tell you otherwise. Hold tight to us. We don’t want to live in a world without you.

  402. Long time lurker, first time commenter. I have emerged from my cave of lurkitude to inform you that you are an absolute hero for making this video.
    The ice idea is brilliant.
    Can I add something? Just like you said it’s important that if one drug doesn’t work for you, another one might, the same can be said of therapists. I’ve known a lot of people who see one therapist who’s lousy and then give up on the idea of therapy altogether. Don’t give up! It’s really like you’re interviewing people for the job of helping you. Let yourself take the time to find the right person and it WILL make you feel better as well as take the pressure off of the people you love.
    Seriously though, Jenny, thank you. If depression is Voldemort you just used Expecto Patronum on him.

  404. I am broken. More so lately it seems and this video was what I needed today. Thank you Jenny. When you said “Don’t leave” I needed that. I do not have family that is supportive and very few friends that care or want to know what I am going through.I am not currently in a position to get therapy again financially, or my meds for that matter, but as soon as I can find a job and get insurance, they are first on the list.

    Thank you for being so open and letting others like me know we are not alone; especially when in the dark places depression drags us to.

  405. Have we mentioned you kick ass? Now that you’re a big hot shot author you should totally get an assistant to give you a daily remainder of what an incredible person and presence you are, preferably in a fake 50’s gangster accent because that makes compliments way more fun. For example, “Jenny, you’re a damn fine dame” > “You’re great”.

    As some who deals with anxiety and depression, it is a great joy to have a place on the web where I can both laugh my ass off and be reminded that I’m not alone. Don’t ever stop doing what you do. You know the risks of disappointing this many crazy people.

  407. Just “wow’. You said it all. When you said the people in your life want you there, even if you are broken, it really hit home. That’s one of the most difficult things to believe when you know how much pain you’ve caused those people; the damage you’ve done to their lives, and you have to live with the consequences of those actions everyday. I’m bipolar1 with generalized anxiety disorder, and have struggled with this for years. I’ve been through half a dozen therapists, and have been on just about every drug out there. Some times are better than others, but the past 12 months have been brutal. My psychiatrist has been unable to stabilize my condition, and I careen between severe depression and mania from week to week. I attempted suicide several years ago, and fortunately, was unsuccessful. Not so much for my sake, but for theirs, because you ARE right. They DO want me here. I’ll never really understand why, but I have made myself accept that they see something in me that I don’t. That has to be my truth. That has to be enough to make me fight. So, I do. Thank you for your post. It helps to know we’re all not alone in this.

  408. So I sailed into my shrink’s office today thinking I was fine; she asked one question and I dissolved into a puddle of snot and tears. She didn’t up my meds, though, dammit.

    Love the message, love Jenny, trying to love myself enough to do the right thing.

  409. Wow, maybe we are all on the same psychotic cycle. Maybe its like that thing where women sync up with their periods, only now we are doing it with our psychosis.
    We should write and grant and get money to study this. It would be an awesome situation where on my bad anxiety days I could stay home and not get in trouble for not being a work.
    Also, I love you and your blog. You are an amazing person.

  410. Thank you, Jenny. From me, and for all the important people I am sending this to.

  412. I understand. I truly do. I grew up in a broken, abusive, dysfunctional, mentally sick family–and my younger sister took her own life when she was still in her 30s. Others in my family made suicide attempts but didn’t succeed.

    I will never, ever truly get over the loss of my sister. I miss laughing with her in the good times. I miss crying with her in the difficult times. I just miss being able to touch her, smell her, hug her, hear her voice. I have been crippled by her loss. So have her children.

    There was no internet when I lost her. No email. She just missed all of that. If she had had the opportunity to see someone like you speaking about your difficult journey, I think it would have helped my sister understand that she wasn’t alone. That things WILL get better. They always, always get better.

    The tears are flowing as I write this. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to write these words to you now, Jenny…”Don’t leave”… because I wish so very much I could have said them to my sister when she needed to hear them.

    Please, Jenny–don’t leave. You have a purpose, a life mission far more important than your wonderful, popular blog. Your message needs to be heard–if even by just one person whose life you will save because you were HERE and open enough to share your powerful story.

    –Susan

  413. Thank you! You are such a brave woman! And non of us are alone! But it is nice to hear from others that suffer as well! I just saw a quote that says “Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today but eventually”. Keep your chin up!!

  414. that was awesome. I’m really thankful for people like you who are working to make depression/anxiety public and more accepted. I’ve been through it and it sucks, but the suckiest part was feeling like it was shameful to be going through it.

  415. My brother lost a long battle with depression more than 10 years ago by taking his own life. I wish he had someone like you to listen to. Keep fighting the good fight. And also, your book was am.az.ing. Hugs!

  416. I don’t know if this was said yet, but even so it would bear repeating. Everyone will watch your video becuase the only people without mental health issues are people with delusion as part of their mental health issues!! Hugs from afar ….

  420. <3 Thank you. Sometimes it's good to hear that it's okay, no matter how broken you are.

    I can't tell you how much your blog means to me. I came because you're funny, I stayed because you understand.

  421. This was amazing. You summed up all of my feelings. As someone with bipolar and PTSD, you described my life living with these conditions perfectly. Thankfully, due to a fantastic psychiatrist and an equally fantastic therapist, I’m sinking less into those horrible depressions and feeling more and more self worth. I’ve finally gotten to a point where people don’t even KNOW I’m bipolar unless I tell them because my drug cocktail (Lamictal, Seroquel, Neurontin, and Lexapro) works well enough that the swings are less violent than any other time before. Looking back now, I started showing the symptoms of PTSD really early in my life (my father was molesting me and causing the panic attacks and severe avoidance behaviors), and the bipolar swings in my pre-teens. I was diagnosed with depression in high school and put on Zoloft. Unfortunately, the drug caused me to have many more manic-depressive episodes than I might have had if I hadn’t been taking it at all. I was only diagnosed at 22 with bipolar. My last ten years have been a struggle to find the right combination of drugs and doctors to help.

    I agree that everyone needs to find both a psychiatrist and therapist to help out. And that mental illness IS just like diabetes in the need of the body to have certain chemicals to function.

    Thanks so much for posting this. I’ve shared it with my family and friends on Facebook.

    BTW, did you know May is Mental Health Awareness Month? Your post is very timely.

    My best wishes to you, that you keep fighting and will find stability soon.

  423. Jenny, you made it through the video without crying, but I sure didn’t. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. Those of us who have suffered even through relatively mild bouts of depression can glean so much from your experience. I find music to be a great outlet for me whether it’s playing my clarinet or just blasting the radio. I don’t know how you feel about country music, but this song is one of many I’ve used to help me at times: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-6rJPRVDuM

    Thank you very, very much. You never fail to make me feel better just by visiting your blog. You are beautiful and an inspiration, Jenny. Don’t ever change. We love you!!

  424. Thank you for your words. I know how painful it is to share about depression. I went thru a terrible bout of severe depression last year. Thank god for my therapist, my psychiatrist and wellbutrin and Lamictal. It took a good 6 months to get thru but I feel so much better now. Take care!

  425. Wow. Just wow. Found myself nodding in agreement. One other point, you may not have hit it yet, but when you go through the change… it can be like starting all over again. When I figured out it was hormones, not the anti depressants that needed to be adjusted, things got MUCH better. Hugs!

  426. Very brave and moving post! Thank you so much for sharing. I just about started crying at the end. Sending you thoughts of calmness and strength.

  427. Thank you. Thank you for your candor, thank you for your honesty, and thank you for reminding me that I’m not as helpless as I sometimes feel.

  428. This is a keeper, Jenny.

    You’re a keeper, Jenny.

    +1 on there being something in the air. I myself have gotten really bad recently and have taken steps to keep myself in the game. I’m short on hope at the moment but it’s my bullheadedness that keeps me on.

    Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for giving so much.

  429. Thank you for sharing your insight. When I am down in the hole, I write it all down…every ugly bit of it…helping to lighten the load and hold on. Reading it after a couple hours or weeks is healing.

  430. I am a crisis counselor and I have told so many people who are struggling with depression (and some who are suicidal as a result) that depression is a big ugly monster who lies and tells us anything to keep us down. As someone who also suffers with major depression and anxiety disorders, I can proudly raise my voice to join you Jenny in the knowledge that we can overcome depression and we can beat that damn monster and his lies.

    Your success is a bright light for so many of us. You are an inspiration, just as each person is who makes that first step towards moving forward in their life, beating that damn monster and together we can make mental health as important as physical health.

    You GO Girl!!!

  432. I’ve been dealing with this my entire life and have been treated for the last three years. Things that help me out- calling my mom, petting my dog, and coffee. They say that for women, two cups of coffee a day can help stave off depression 🙂 Starbucks is out there saving the world!

    Thank you for posting this, you’re always able to make me laugh out loud, but this made me cry.

  433. Your heart defines you, not your head. So leave your “broken” head to your therapist and go with your amazingly huge, caring, sharing heart – it truely sets you apart from everyone else on the planet.

    There is only one you -and you are awesome!

    Much love coming your way.

  435. Fuck depression. And anxiety. And borderline. And bipolar. Fuck all y’all, bad shit that lies to us and tells us we aren’t worthy and shouldn’t stick around. Fight on, everyone!

  436. Maybe this will make you smile. For quite some time I have been avoiding anything that has raspberry flavoring in it because it doesn’t come from raspberries. It comes from a beaver. No shit, it really comes from the anal glands of a beaver and it is called castoreum. I told my friend about it and she has been texting me a lot of bad jokes about raspberries and LaCroix berry flavored water and they are all pretty funny. I wanted to do something funny back, so I thought I would send her a picture of a beaver saying, “You have something of mine” or “We need to talk.” I didn’t have one so I Googled “images beaver”. Just so you know, you do not get images of a woodland creature. Not even close.
    I loved your book, too. It made me laugh a lot. And I needed to laugh because I had to move to a town that smells like a giant bag of dry dog food because of the corn and soy processing plants here. They had three copies of your book of your book and I got one of them. They don’t have Jen Lancaster’s book. Don’t tell her. I’ll have to order it. They don’t even have a bookstore in this town. They have Target.

  441. I’m currently weaning myself off of Lexapro for anxiety – at half my normal dose and no effects yet – hoping I can get on without withdrawal or the anxiety coming back :/

  442. I must admit I have some problems with depression and this video appeared yesterday when I was feeling really low. It helped me to hold on. It actually inclined me to write about it in my journal; and it helped. It helped me feel better and it helped as I let my best friend read things I would never be able to say out loud.

    Thank you for being so wonderful and supportive of others even when it’s hard for you.

  443. here’s a great resource http://mentalpod.com/ it’s called ‘the mental illness happy hour’ and it is usually well over an hour long. paul gilmartin interviews people in depth about their stories. they are often people in the creative industries, but not always. they are always interesting and moving. gilmartin describes his podcast as ‘a hot ladle of awkward and icky’.

  444. Hi Jenny,
    I got your book and have a question…where does the bookplate go? On the inside of the hard cover on the left, or on the first paper page on the right? I can’t have something this important and valuable and put it in the wrong place.

    I do agree with everything you said about depression lying. However, I don’t believe that you have to experience great pain to experience happiness. It’s been my experience that having happiness means that I’m all set up to experience great pain because my happiness always gets taken away from me. But before that I can be happy and be happy being happy. People who have everything handed to them do not understand what it’s like for me to be a single mom, to work all the time, to struggle with money to where I can’t afford to heat my house or go on trips…but I’m not sure if they had to experience my life they would appreciate theirs; they would just be all, I don’t deserve this and this sucks and somebody get the credit card out and make it go away. There isn’t any magic credit card to bring back lost babies or find husbands who don’t cheat…sorry, I’m rambling, I do that because I have incredible anxiety and yes, depression (quote from my doctor last week: “You’re going to either implode or explode.” Yeah, pretty much sums it up. You keep me sane sometimes when nothing else will. Thank you for you.

  445. Dear Jenny,

    Thank you so much for sharing this. My family has a history of depression and it’s something that I continually struggle against. Treatment in the form of medication and counseling has done wonders. I think I may forward this video to my younger sister – she also struggles with depression, but has only recently sought real help. She made some major life changes after a suicide attempt last year and is doing better, but is still hesitant to talk with a therapist about underlying issues.
    Thank you for stepping up and telling the truth about depression. It does lie.

  446. I swear Jenny…I’ll be damned if I didn’t just see an article on Cafe Mom the Stir called “Supermoon Saturday: 5 Wild Ways Lunacy Could Strike” and FYI…it’s happens on Saturday May 5th. You’re Wile E. Coyote…Super Genius! On another note, I got your book (and nameplate, Yay!) read it in two days and am incredible sad that it’s over. Can’t wait until the next one! No pressure.

  447. Thank you for being so brave and beautiful Jenny. You are a warrior AND and inspiration.

  448. Thanks for the video. <3

    I'm a suicide survivor. I've blogged about it over the years and have had several people reach out to me to talk about what they're going through. What you've said is important, and will help someone. Kudos to you.

    Please come (closer) to Orlando on your book tour extension. I have house guests and can't make the drive to Miami on Friday, as I had originally planned.

  449. Wow that was awesome. When I started reading your blog, I never thought I’d be learning. I am.

  452. you’re very courageous to be so open and candid. We don’t know each other but in spirit we do. It’s a rough journey already then you have these invisible wires that pop up randomly & try to trip you as you go along. I get it all too well. I am in therapy, various depression/anxiety meds on and off since I was 16, yup, human guinea pig 🙂 People do react in strange ways when you share that side, they don’t always understand that it’s just a sickness like any other ailment. They avoid, they clam up, they don’t know what to say but you don’t need words, you just need a steady reliable friend {that is all}…I too however am rooting for all of us and I think that having empathy and understanding is a beautiful thing. Glad my friend Jenny G linked me to this. Take care of yourself

  453. Thanks again for posting this. We all need to work on breaking the stigma of anxiety and depression. Its one of the reasons I just wrote my last post.

  454. Thanks for this, Jenny. You’re a brave woman, and no doubt saving lives with this.

  457. Jenny…………………..were you a Girl Scout when you were a girl? I wonder because through courage, confidence and definitely character, you make the world a better place!!! Thank you.

  458. WTF?! I commented here earlier… who ate my comment? Figures, my first time commenting here, and it disappears into the abyss.

    I said something about thank you and being a suicide survivor and how blogging about it has caused random strangers to reach out to me… you’re helping people with this video. kudos to you

    and then I urged you to come closer to Orlando on your tour because I have house guests arriving Friday, preventing me from stalking you in Miami. dammit.

    if this comment gets eaten, too, i’m going back to just being a silent observer.

  461. you should totally make a bracelet that says “hormones lie”, because they do. a lot.

  462. Amazing video – thank you. I hope your depression has buggered off now – she lies, damn her.

  463. Hey, Jenny. I have been reading your blog for the last few months thanks to a friend sending a link to your post in which you introduced Beyonce, the giant metal chicken. I love your extraordinary sense of humor, and have laughed to near exhaustion many times. But, as much as I enjoy your humor, I’m touched by your honesty and openness about your emotional/mental health, and appreciate the way you articulate what you experience in a way that gives such insight for folks who don’t suffer the same way, and gives hope and encouragement for those who do. I also appreciate your comments about the help you’ve received through therapy, and that you encourage people to find the help they need instead of prolonging their suffering. It makes such a difference hearing that from someone who is going through it! Keep up your good work; you are making a difference!

  464. You are amazing. And brave. And awesome. Thank you for sharing that. What works for me is to channel my negative feelings into something creative. I usually paint, or make jewelry. It distracts me long enough for my feelings to pass, and when I’m finished, I can admire something beautiful that I created.

  465. I know there are a ton of comments on here, so it’s probably too late to hope anyone will reply to this, but I’ll try. I struggle a lot with depression, and my husband just honestly doesn’t get it. He asked the other day why I was so angry, and when I said it was chemicals in my brain (which in this case it honestly was, and I was trying SO hard to control it), he basically said, “well I don’t let the chemicals in MY brain control me, so why do you?” And that’s really how he seems to view it all, that I’m just too weak. Does anyone know any resources I can point him to, to help him understand? I’m trying to get help, but with anxiety issues I haven’t quite managed it. I’ve asked him to talk to our insurance about who I can see, but he gets annoyed that I just don’t do it myself. I get so angry at myself and feel like I AM just being weak, so I don’t know how to explain to him that I’m fighting as hard as I can. He’s had just as shitty a life as I have, if not more so, so he thinks if he could rise above it why can’t I. I don’t know why he wasn’t dragged down by his background (I suspect genetics; I have a family history of about every mental disorder you can name), but more importantly I just need him to understand. Any help is SO appreciated. And thank you so much, Jenny, for all you do. I bought your book and I can’t wait to read it! (We’re going on vacation Saturday and I’m not allowed to read it until then, and it’s driving me nuts! I’ve been wanting your book since the day I found out you were writing one forever ago)

  468. You are a fucking godsend. I won’t leave. someday I might. but not today. Thank you Jenny.

  469. I think the biggest thing you said that people need to understand is “In the middle of a true depression you can’t trust what your brain is saying to you”. That is 100% true. Today with the Junior Seau suicide, I have seen so many derogatory tweets questioning why he didn’t get help, calling him a quitter, saying he was too proud to ask for help – I wish people could understand that it’s not always that simple. Unless you’ve been there, it’s something that is very hard to understand.

    Thank you.

  470. Thank you for this. It made me cry. “Don’t leave” has been echoing through my head since you’ve said it.

  471. Thank you. My daughter is suffering from depression and anxiety attacks. I showed her your blog. It has helped her deal with things better and it has helped me understand her better. We’re now able to laugh about a lot of the things we used to cry about 😀 You help more people than you know. All over the world.

  472. I’m not a real blogger, but I made a site to put up random thoughts that were too personal to go on Facebook :o) A few months ago I was frustrated with how hard it can be for people to understand what I go through… and I wrote this– a guide of what to say and what to do when a friend has mental illness, when you sort of want to run away or pretend everything’s okay. There should be more information out there to help the people around us who want to help :o)

    http://veryseriousfblog.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=yU-mEzcBAAA.A5OWbNzZMqYTGC7pytAjRQ.ZFInBVBOUfJubRtnqQRlpw&postId=980794912420020203&type=POST

  473. You, my dear Jenny, ROCK! After decades of living with depression, of understanding it for the truth of what it is, your simple “Depression Lies” still hit me like a kick to the gut. So simply stated, yet the complete and utter truth of the essence of what depression does and is. I was so struck by this simple truth that I mentioned it to my therapist the next time I saw her. And I’m getting ready to have a custom bracelet made for myself with those words stamped into it. So that I will never, ever even be tempted to forget that all those ugly, terrible, cruel thoughts that rush through my head when the monster is raging are complete and utter lies. Love you, girl. Keep going. Keep beating back the darkness.

  475. I had a very happy life until last June when my teenaged son died in a car accident. Since then I have tried to be strong for my other son and all of my family who love me very much. But its so freaking hard- done some grief therapy but now I think it is time to go the medication route – thank you for sharing your life with those of us going through something similar – you have touched many lives and quite possibly saved a few in the process. Keep up the blogging and writing – read your book in one sitting – and waiting anxiously for the next one.

  476. You made me cry girl! My brain lies to me a lot, even with the meds I’m on. I have a support group that loves me and a sponsor that is my best friend that won’t let me go anywhere. I’m not leaving, nor am I letting depression and anxiety rule my life. I have a lot of problems with anxiety, I can let myself get worked up very easily – it can turn into a full blown panic attack if I let it. The simplest and easiest thing I do is to “Just Breathe”. I have a card taped above my head at work, and if I get worked up I look at it and STOP. I close my eyes for a few minutes and just breathe slowly…in and out, in and out. Sounds a little too easy, but I swear it works. I do that for a couple of minutes and then I’m completely calm and ready to start again.

  477. Liz – it sounds like your husband needs to read a really good book about struggling with mental illness. What he’s saying to you is NOT OK. Maybe you could go through couples counseling to have a professional explain how real these chemical imbalances are.

    And thank you for the video, Jenny. It takes so much courage to come out about mental illness – I still haven’t, even to most of my family. If you’re still experiencing these depressive episodes, talk to your doctor about switching medications! I went through three types of meds before finding one that worked, and I feel SO much better. I only get depressed about actually depressing things (like hearing a sad story about a friend or watching the news) rather than for seemingly no reason, and I never feel like killing myself in an option anymore. It seems so illogical now, but I used to think that it was the only solution to the pain. Keep trying and someday I bet you can resolve almost all of your symptoms!

  478. Thank you so much for posting this. I have suffered from depression since I was a little girl and it does make you feel so alone when you are deep in it. Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone. Thank you for talking about a really tough subject. It really does help.

  480. Don’t give up on psychiatrists! 🙂 I am a psychiatrist and I like to think that I’m a talented therapist as well. I do the “50-minute hour” and I do prescribe meds, if necessary, but I’m a big believer in therapy and I love offering it. We’re not all just pill-pushers, promise! 🙂

    Jenny, I love that you did this. It was honest and real, and I think it will help so many people. Thank you for caring enough to use your popularity to reach out to the world. You’re an inspiration!

  482. You are so brave and so right. Much love for making this video.

  483. Thank you. Especially for the tip about the ice.Going through a massive bad period nowadays, and I really needed to hear that. Can’t trust my brain nowadays. But this way I won’t damage anything or scare anyone, so thank you!:)

  485. Thank you so much for posting this. Thank you thank you thank you!!
    <3

  486. “…even if you are completely broken.”
    thank you so much. i’m fighting so hard every day to stay- this means a lot. thank you.

  487. My friend and I both have depression…and both find your blog hilarious and spot-on and helpful to know that others experience the same emotions and are able to get through it. She already has a copy of your book and told me to come here and leave a comment so that maybe I could win a copy of my own. 🙂 Thank you and please keep up the good work!

  488. Oh, and also…please come to Maryland on your next tour! 🙂

  489. Thank you for posting this video. I think that anyone who is brave enough to openly talk about depression, anxiety or any other mental issues they are living with is a hero. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you. Thank you for being honest and for reaching out to the rest of us who struggle with this. You are wonderful!!

  490. Geez! I love you and your observations. My life has been so traumatized by suicides from mental illness and my own depressions, anxieties, and experiences. Thank you for making it “normal” to admit that you have a mental illness.

  491. Thanks so much for this Jennie! As someone who works in the mental health field, I cannot express how grateful I am that someone as fantastic as you is giving voice to such important issues.

  492. Okay that hat is so wrong in so many ways but I so LOVE IT! Feet for ear muffs, HA! Total Greatness!

  493. Thank you for sharing. I’ve beaten the bitch back into submission but am still fighting the anxiety. I am in a community that has had 5 suicides by young people this year. Fancy pants houses and material goods clearly ain’t cutting it for these families.

    Time to talk loudly!!!! about this issue.

  495. Thank you for this. My mom and my sister both suffer from mental illnesses with a heavy dose of depression for both, and I found it very helpful for me to understand what they go through. Keep on fighting and living the mantra “Depression Lies.”

  496. I’m not sure who all reads the comments, but I would like to strongly urge anyone with bipolar, borderline personality or depression, or anyone who knows someone who struggles with these, to look into dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). It is a wonderful, beautiful, healing therapy for anyone who struggles with these sorts of issues and it is life-changing. The skills it teaches are eternal. Additionally, there is an amazing book called “The Depression Cure : the 6-step program to beat depression without drugs” by Stephen Ilardi (don’t worry – the book isn’t nearly as trite as it sounds). It is brilliant and awesome and amazingly helpful. Please look it up.

  498. Jenny, I am so happy that I found you. I also battle depression and anxiety, and have been since childhood as well. I love the statement “Depression lies.” It’s not something I really heard before, and it really resonates with me.

  499. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but when you got the part about how the people in our lives want us here, no matter how badly broken we are, I started bawling. I’ve felt broken all of my life. *All* of my life. Ever since I was a kid. No child should feel that way, but you did, and I did, and God knows how many of us did. If I’d known then what I know now… Wow.

    I’m not making sense, sorry. I’m just blown away by you, your couage, your grace, your strength. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Don’t leave.

  500. You can do it. You are a fucking WINNER. And you know what? So am I. So are we all.

  501. Just blogged about my journey with this liar, too. Started “therapy” this week – hoping to learn to identify the liar more easily and keep it at bay… Thanks for your honesty, courage, and optimism…..

  502. I know, dammit. I’m tardy. But hey, don’t blame me, that distracting husband of mine’s FAVORITE kid had to move home with us. Well, we offered. She and the dog are always welcome here.

    AnyHOO, just wanted to add my voice. Thank you. And thank your for the cool bracelet. You are more amazing than you even realize.

    (Also, this is the witchy Julie. See? I CAN be taught!)

    Happy touring. Wish you were coming to Oregon.

  503. You are my hero. You make life less stabby. Thank you for helping us “come out” about mental illness.

  504. Thank you, though you made me cry with recognition. I am in the midst, but my depression does not tell lies that lead to suicidal or self-harming thoughts. Mine lies about what would be better, where I should be, grass is greener type shit that just can’t be true, but feels like possible escape. This has always been its style, since I was a child. It can be very persuasive. Therapy is there, some drugs are in the mix, but I can’t really tell anyone how I feel, I think about it, imagine how I would explain how broken am, but I can’t cross the barriers I’ve built up, take off the masks I wear.

  505. You know when I read your book, first off I laughed until I cried in several spots. You have a wicked sense of humor and I think I wish we were friends. But, I related on so many levels. I thought wow this sounds a lot like me only I am diagnosed with adult ADD, which means for me that I deal with all of these things, but I think in a milder form. Or some of them in a milder form, I am pretty impulsive, evil thoughts abotu myself, totally say exactly what I am thinking as bizare as it maybe, anxiety-especially as a kid, IBS, OCD-you know I can’t watch TV without repeating the order of the colors on peoples clothes in my head, especially if they are stripped. I know! I have long moments of complete motivational paralysis that I hate, hormonal depressions that has me quaking in my boots for anyone who will still be around when when menopause sets in. Even I want to check out by that point. But, in the end it is all of these things that have made me who I am, a creative, funny, tough, thoughtful, unique, weird person that loves animals like nothing else and is I think a really good friend when I am not hiding from the phone which is almost always. I use CBT to get through life and when I am totally freaking out irrationally I use EFT which believe it or not works. I do it to myself. It’s free and it’s harmless. google it. Emotional freedom technique. But you are an amazing person and with all that you accomplish in spite of all this is spectacular and brave. Thank you for a great laugh and sharing some pretty bizare and sad moments too. It’s what makes us human.

  506. Wow – I stumbled across your blog and knew right away that I would follow regularily but never expected to scroll down and find something that would hit home so much. I recently started blogging about my struggle with depression and anxiety because after half a lifetime of dealing with it, I’ve finally realized this is not a “phase”. Like you said, it does come and go but now happens to be a hard time and I’m so greatful for people like yourself who are open and honest about their experience and are sharing hope with those of us who sometimes forget that it’s there. THANK YOU. <3

  507. Thank you for this, Jenny. I’m sure many others have said similar, but I really felt like you were talking to me. I’m going through a depression and anxiety right now, which has resulted in my saying and doing things I wouldn’t normally do – including hurting people emotionally because my brain has stopped being able to cope with difficult situations.

    I haven’t seen a therapist before, but after my recent troubles, I am going to now. This depression has also caused me to self-harm, and the fact that my brain is telling me to punch myself in the face or bite my arm until I leave marks scares me more than anything.

    Thank you for these messages. I do feel less alone, and knowing that one of the best, funniest writers on the Internet goes through similar things to me (and comes out the other side) gives me hope that I can find the real me that’s currently lost. Because he’s a pretty awesome guy, and I miss him.

    Thank you.

  508. After three months of the deepest depression I’ve ever known, I have an appointment to see someone on Thursday. And I DESPERATELY want to cancel it. I mean, what can he say to me? What good will it do? And I have to tell the truth to him, and oh my god I’m so scared of telling the truth to myself, how can I tell it to anyone else? And maybe it’ll just get better, y’know? I mean, I’ve been depressed before. Besides, it’s not that bad, right? I mean, it’s not like I have any reason to be depressed, right? It’s all… okay.

    And it’s not. And I know that.

    But oh, dear God, I don’t want to do this. I’m afraid of being ill, but I’m petrified of what it will take to get better.

    I’ll be thinking of you Jenny. If you can do this, I can do it.

  509. Yeah the most powerful full moon of the year was May 5th. Full moons amplify whatever is going on. Good or bad. If somehow you can manage feeling good, doing good, praying. Meditating, laughing (perhaps at this incredibly witty blogger Jenny I just stumbled upon fr the first time tonight) during times of the full moon-2-days before or 2 days after–those feelings will get amplified as well. Nows a good time to get happy.

  510. I don’t know what to type. Here I am typing and deleting, typing and deleting, trying to think of the perfect thing to say. I keep trying to be witty or funny or sassy or fuckin weird, but it’s clearly not working for me. People find such beautiful ways to word thing, but when something is really important, I just find myself in a knot. I’m not very brave, so I’m just gonna go with my gut here:

    Thank you. You inspire me to try.

  511. Jenny, I just want you to know how much your work helps me. Reading your blog makes me smile, and reading the serious entries makes me feel so much less alone and so much less powerless. Your book has made me laugh and cry and feel on days when I am numb. You are an anchor for me in this battle. Your writing brings forward the strength I have to fight against this, and not let it take me over like it tries so hard to do. So, thank you so much, and please keep up the good work! We need it.

  512. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom on the subject with us.
    It takes bravery to come out about your depression and yes, you ARE helping people. You helped me last night when I was feeling especially low and needed a boost. Makes the blogging community all the more valuable to be able to read and hear/see other’s thoughts on the issue. Yes, legal anti depressants are fantabulous!! I ran out and the last two days were not a picnic, I’ll tell ya. Keep doing what you’re doing and keep being you. xxx

  513. My mom had bi polar and took her life 4 years ago. She always taught me that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary feeling, but it got too tough for her. I’m 30, with lifelong chronic depression and 2 daughters of my own whom I pray do not inherit any of this madness! But if they so, at least I am aware and can try to help before it gets worse. I just read your book, thank you for being a living example if one of my favorite quotes: “how painful it is, and also how glorious, to be an exception.” Much love from one (one of a kind) Jenn to another xoxo

  514. In the midst of one of those “I’m weepy and need a muther F***ing sign” moments, I stumbled upon this and cried my little eyes out. The difference being, for the first time in a day full of tears, I cried with a smile on my face (which was not meant to sound as creepy as it did…less creepy, more hopeful.) You get the picture. Thank you.

  515. Some days it helps to remember (once again) that depression is a lying bitch… As I sit here with a huge goose egg on my forehead – blaming myself for accidentally hitting my head on a counter last night. I know it is really the counter’s fault for being there…
    Maybe I am just confused from the head bash- and the counter is the victim.

    Thanks for reminding me that DEPRESSION LIES!

  516. I just discovered your blog a few days ago when someone accused me of copying your metal chicken routine. I left a six foot chicken on my friend’s doorstep, peering inside her front door windows, with no explanation. I guess it’s true – genius often has multiple points of origin. I can’t believe you weren’t on my radar. I even live in Houston.

    At any rate, I wanted to thank you for posting this. I’ve been dealing with it for almost 30 years now and just when I think I’ve finally got a handle on it, it sneaks up on me, dropping nasty little thought pellets in my brain about my relative worth to the world. This came at a good time. I was about to be too “busy” to refill my prescription.

    Thanks for all you do. I’m reading your blog chronologically and am currently up to February 2008. You are hilarious and you’re bringing light and laughter to so many people you’ll never even meet.

    Hang in there and keep writing, even if you think it sucks. Because when I finally finish your blog, I’m going to be in a serious funk if there are no more entries.

    Hugs and all that smarmy shit,

    Cherie

  517. Here I thought that you’d done enough for me just by supplying a steady supply of comedy. Then I see this. My daughter is 8 and suffers from learning disabilities, anxiety and borderline depression. I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

  518. I have been mentally ill for the last seventeen years of my life. Yesterday I checked into outpatient care for the fourth time. A friend of mine emailed this to me and I just wanted to say thank you. I needed this today.

  519. Kudos to you for your courageous and insightful utube video and book. You are doing a great job educating people about depression along with other psychological issues and issues.

    Paula Durlofsky, Ph.D.

  521. This is great! Thank you so much. Seriously. So much.

    I’ve had a new – and terrifying – bout with anxiety these past few weeks. I can’t take the bus home anymore because I fall apart, and instead walk five miles home each day, and find reasons to disappear half way through meetings at work. All I can think is that I’m going to get fired, never be able to travel again, lose my friends, lose the life that I love.

    Now I’m crying (yay!), and hopeful (sweet!). My initial google searches brought me desperate, terrified people and sales pitches. Thank you for sending out a message of hope, strength, and bravery. I’m going to tattoo this stuff on my fucking arm.

  523. Wish I had watched this last Friday, before things got really ugly.

  524. Every time you post about depression I scroll through the comments and think, “Holy fuck. There’s a LOT of us.” Becoming more and more convinced there is no such thing as “normal” and that most everyone is messed up in some way or another. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better, or worse.

  525. I haven’t really read your blog before, but I just stumbled on this video. You made me cry. You are so earnest. It’s hard remembering that anyone could want me. It doesn’t feel like that is possible.

    You seem like a really nice lady. I hope you are having a good day.

  527. This is a fantastic post. Thank you for posting it. The more we talk about this the more we normalise it and then everyone feels less alone. Everyone has been touched by mental illness of some form either directly or through someone they know and it’s so important that people talk about it…Stephen Fry’s series on depression was just amazing for that.
    And also reading your book really felt like a return to myself. It made me remember all of the fantastic freaked out things that make me great and not normal ( like my fear of Vampire chickens that led me to change my clothing a lot when I was five (my sister kept telling them what i was wearing) ,I kept this up till i figured out they had no teeth, and the time I dug up a dead guinea pig ’cause I hadn’t got my head around the concept of death. Just the normal, not normal shit like that.)

  528. I showed this to my daughter last night after she told me she’s been cutting herself. She’s 15 and it shattered my heart. She was brave enough to try to tell me that it’s not my fault, but how can it not be? It’s my job to protect her but I can’t even keep her from hurting herself. The fact that I also suffer from depression doesn’t help in the slightest. The guilt is just compounded.

    Thank you for doing this. Thank you for talking about it. Thank you for existing. Your words helped my daughter last night and there isn’t a thank you big enough for that.

  529. My mother in law showed me your blog after I had to be hospitalizedrecently for major depression and chronic anxiety. You are incredible. Your posts have helped me deal with what I’m going through without feeling completely alone and misunderstood. Today I had an assessment that dug deep into my past and dreaded memories have coming rushing to the surface of my consciousness. I can’t seem to fight the flood of fear, anxiety, disgust, and pain that has crushed my soul so many times over the years. But I want to thank you for being a pillar of strength for me even though we don’t know each other. I hope dearly to make it to your book signing in Concord, NC. I live about an hour from there.

  530. As both a therapist and an individual that suffers with mental illness, I just wanted to commend you for the outreach work you are doing with these videos and blog posts about your own struggles with mental illness. Thank you for helping break the silence and secrecy that surrounds this topic, giving helpful tips, for letting everyone know that it is okay to feel this way and that they have nothing to be ashamed about. I wish you the best of luck on your road of recovery!!

  531. Thank you thank you for mentioning both the positive and negative for psychiatrist. So many people are ANTI psychiatry b/c of the prescriptions. A lot of people don’t realize that there are both biological and also learned reasons for disorders. Something that is learned, even if learned while a child, can often be relearned, corrected, or at least improved with therapy. For some people though they may have increased the level of their condition but the base condition is biological and in that situation, just like with other biological things that require it, medication can really help. For me, I spent a decade here and there seeing counsellors and psychologists and life never changed. Then two years ago I had a major depressive episode after an injury where I lost my job. I went to the doctor because of depression but instead, he diagnosed me with several anxiety conditions and a somatoform condition. Within one month on the correct medication I was no longer scared of spiders nor terrified of the dark. With these underlying conditions under control I took back my life and worked on my depression via therapy.

  532. I “came out” of the mental illness closet some years ago (I’m older than you) and am grateful there are others, like you, raging against the stigma. Anxiety, check. Depression, check. OCD, check … and plenty of the rest. You’re obviously a busy, busy woman (and now famous – I’m going to get your book), but I invite you to check out my posts under “Stigma: The Tyranny of Normal.” One that I think you’d like is called “Tribe.”

  533. I have watched your video several times. Thank you I AM NOT LEAVING!!

  534. thanks. today is a hard day. today is a painful, feel like a total failure, ruining my family’s lives kind of day. so thanks for this. it helped.

  535. Jenny, I just re-watched this. I reallyreallyreallyreallyreally want you to know you’re changing my life. I hope you know it. Thank you. Thank you for being awesomesauce.

  536. I’m reading your book and just started following your blog and want to thank you for making me laugh so hard! Your description of anxiety at parties in your book was EXACTLY how I have always felt! It is such a nightmare, but now I think I will just LMAO in those situations knowing that I have a “sister” who experiences the same thing. I’ve always tried to put a humorous spin on things, too, but you hit it spot on, and I am so grateful to you for sharing this with the rest of us. Your video is awesome, and empowering to those of us who share the heavy load of anxiety/panic/depression disorders. You are my new super-hero!

  537. I can’t explain how much this touched me. I honestly had no idea that you struggled with mental illness until tonight. When I first came across your blog, a good friend of mine had introduced me to Beyonce the Big Metal Chicken and I shared it with everyone I knew who had a sense of humor. I couldn’t believe how hilarious it was and so I started following your blog. I wasn’t very loyal, though… because I ended up becoming frustrated that you had all this fearlessness that I didn’t and while I loved every single thing I was reading – I couldn’t keep reading because it made me feel sad about all the things I hold inside that are truly hilarious when looked at from the right perspective. But, most people do not see things from my perspective so if I were to tell the stories as I remember them and with the sarcasm I want to tell them with, my family would disown me… and I’d lose a few friends as well. It’s twisted. But tonight, I came across this blog – and WHALLA – I had to ask myself several times if it were really you. I am sorry I put you on a non-human pedestal! Watching the video and learning that you are absolutely just as human as I am has inspired me in a way that few people could ever understand. I am a writer myself, and you have truly inspired me to keep telling my truth but not only to keep telling it but to not be afraid to laugh like hell at it! Because if I hadn’t been able to laugh at it all these years and make fun of the ridiculous and sometimes heartbreaking truths that make up my life, I wouldn’t have made it. So, I don’t normally comment on blogs but I wanted to sincerely thank you for this. I think the full moon theory is correct, and just by saying that you helped me because I was wondering the same thing – what on earth is happening that I all of a sudden feel completely paralyzed by my anxiety and borderline suicidal out of nowhere!? I’ve gotten a quick grip on myself (I’ve been at this for years) but it always does still take me by surprise and spin me around a few times before I’m able to see things in a healthy light again. I can’t thank you enough for posting this. You are pretty fucking amazing. And, I am going to be a loyal reader from this point on and shame on me for thinking you were a super-human hilarious goddess. 🙂 Wait, you are a hilarious goddess, and now that I know you are awesomely human, I am going to say THANK YOU for making yourself awesomely human and thank you for not being afraid to say things as they are. You’re my hero. For real.

  538. And what advice would you have for a crazy, already pill popping, vampire chick who hates all therapists because they’re assholes? Or you could also say a chronically depressed medicated young woman who is allergic to the sun and hates all therapists because, truly, they are assholes.

    Logically, I completely agree with everything you said in your Vlog. Hell, I’ve said the same things time and time again to other people who suffer with mental illness. But honestly? At night, when my son goes to bed, Hubs is asleep, the four cats are running after imaginary prey and the dog is snoring at Hubs’ feet… For no obvious reason, I feel this urge to cry and cry and cry. And I think, what the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t really believe there is a light a the end of the tunnel, I’m pretty certain that this black hole I’m in will just keep going and going and going. Forever and ever. With no end in sight.

    It doesn’t help that I have this deep wish to be able to type the words, the stories that keep floating in my head. But for some reason, I just can never really do it. I know it has to do with a fear of failure (I don’t deal well with failing at something… especially, if it’s something as near and dear to me as my writing…) and a deep sense of “Holy shit, I can’t put that in writing… my family would kill me!”. Yet, the not doing it is also failure. So I’m pretty much screwed.

    What advice would have for someone who wished she could be as strong and brave as you…? Who would love to get pass this whole mental illness label and be so much more? How did you find the courage to put yourself out there?

    I’m not actually waiting for an answer as I’m pretty sure that you have enough crazy to deal with in your life. However, I just thought that maybe, if ever, you wanted to tell us how you personally overcame your inner demons, it might shed some light for those of us who struggle daily to achieve just a fraction of your success (mainly in a personal way).

    p.s: Thanks for making me laugh.

  539. p.p.s: sorry for the long-ass comment… it was very douchebaggy on my part.

  540. Bloggess-

    Kudos to you for being so strong. I wish I was. I can’t really handle anything at all right now.

  541. My Aunt went through a terribly rough time caring after her mother before she died from cancer. She had a very hard time accepting what was happening to her mother and as her mother got worse, she became harder to take care of. She wasn’t trained to be that type of caregiver. Of course she had children and cared after a family, but what she experienced with her mother was completely different. It was heart breaking to watch, and my aunt slipped in to a very deep depression. Even after her mother passed away, it was hard for her to even get out of bed, she thought about harming herself, and she was constantly suffering from panic attacks. She finally went to talk to someone and it was recommended to her to read a book called “Waking Up: Climbing Through the Darkness” by Terry Wise http://terrywise.com.

    It helped her get through her tough time, and now she recommends it to anyone who might be faced with care giving, PTSD, Depression or any other personal issues along those lines. These things can take a real toll on someone and for her, she talks about how it was nice to read a book that actually helps!

  542. Oh WOW. I watched video 3 and it made me cry. When you talk about a mask, I think that’s usually why I try to be funny and make people laugh – to hide my pain. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. I do have a question. Do you think mental illness can be taught? My family has a history so you’d think we would recognize the signs. But both my sister and I struggle with obsessive behaviors and anxiety. I sort of feel like I learned it from my family. What do you think?

  543. What a fabulous video filled with hope. I love that you are educating people about depression. I love that you are reminding people over and over that depression lies. I love that you have the courage to speak about this.

    Thank you (again) for inspiring me to write about my experiences, too. I am not brave enough to “come out” about my depression and anxiety to the whole world. I am anonymous on my blog. But slowly, I am telling more and more people IRL about what I deal with.

    So looking forward to seeing you at your Brookline, MA, stop on your tour!

  545. I just put on this bracelet, I feel stronger already. Thank you Jenny <3

  546. “You are important. And the people that are in your life they want you there, even if you are completely broken.”
    That just made me cry so much, thank you for this post it just made me realize that this too shall pass.

  547. This is such a beautiful video. I love your site, not only because you are hysterical but because you are so honest about what you are going through. I have had generalized anxiety and insomnia my entire life, which was quickly followed by major depression and a multitude of misdiagnoses ranging from borderline personality disorder to bipolar disorder with plenty of other fun stuff thrown in along the way. I’ve never really known what it’s like to be “normal” but as I get older I am learning that a lot of my thoughts are lies. I always think that nobody likes me, and even if they tell me that they do, I convince myself that they’re just being nice. I am positive that everything I do is wrong or not good enough. After many failed attempts at college (thanks to debilitating depressive episodes) I am going back now, even though I keep getting wonderful grades, it never seems like enough. I think “depression lies” is one of the most beautiful mottos/mantras I’ve ever heard because it is so true. It takes all of my strength to talk to people and to put myself out there, but I try my hardest everyday. You said in your video that we could share what we do to cope with depressive episodes. I don’t really know what I do because it’s such a dark haze, I know that I will stay in bed for days or weeks until someone stops me. So I guess my number one piece of advice would be to know the beginning signs of depression and let someone know. Sometimes even that can seem like too much, so I have a friend who knows what I’m going through and I can just send her a little text to let her know that I need help. It’s really important to have friends who understand and (at least for me) can be pushy, like calling until you pick up or showing up at your place. If you can’t bear to let anyone in at the moment and your just too tired to move, I’ve found that listening to audiobooks (Librivox makes tons of free and legal ones for download online or through iTunes) or old radio shows (archive.org has lots of public domain shows for free) can be helpful when I can’t even bring myself to look at the tv because it feels like too much work. I think it’s really important to remember that even though depression and other disorders may feel very isolating, that you are not alone. Thank you so much Jenny for creating this space of laughter and support for us.

  550. One med I just lucked onto is BusPIRone, or Buspar. I’m only bringing it up because I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for a lifetime, yet most docs will attempt to prescribe the newest med first, in my experience. Or they will prescribe the most commonly used. Buspar is for anxiety. It is the FIRST med I’ve ever tried that actually works for me. Because so many docs just don’t think of it, I want to get the name of it out there to people who suffer from anxiety. OMG. The right med is amazing. Where all I used to feel was an overwhelming sense of anxiety now I can feel the emotions underneath. Where once I could be driving to an appointment and only feel anxiety, now I know I’m actually feeling exited about possibilities and the future. Now when I feel anxious when I walk into my home I can know why (usually it’s because some part of it is messy or not cleaned up) and can do something about it instead of attempt to hide from overwhelming anxiety.

    I hope there’s another person out there that reads this and asks their doc about Buspar who gets it and gets the amazing effects I have.

    Thanks again, Bloggess. *hugs* Great video.

  552. thank you for sharing your feelings. I know this is so hard to share, even with your own family. i have depression anxiety, and bi polar. and i completely agree with you,on medications, and therapy. i too had these issues as a child and we had no way of knowing. thank you for being so brave!!!!!

  553. I’ve heard you when you said depression lies but I don’t know how to stop listening… I have a therapist and I started a treatment but it feel it will always be like this. I’ve been here before, which should help me thnk I can defeat this but the truth is I feel tired of fighting all my life, and when I think I just caught a break it’s only an illusion. I think death would be easier but I don’t even have the guts to do it. I want to stop crying, to feel THERE IS a reason to wake up in the morning…. I can’t think of one.
    I wrote because I can’t talk to my friends about this and I know you understand me.
    Thank you for your post, you make me laugh and hope sometimes, but maybe I’m not as strong as you are.

  555. This is a moving message, Jenny. I have a friend who needs to hear it and doesn’t have the scratch to get a computer or internet service. I’m encouraging her to connect with the web at her library (two blocks away in a quiet upstate NY town), and this is just the kind of community I hope she can discover.

    Thanks for everything.
    Bless you, and don’t leave,
    Tom

  556. The depression lies bracelet link isn’t working.. and I kinda need one. Help please?

    (I think it might have expired, but here’s what I do. Write “Depression lies” on your wrist. It reminds you every time you see it. Be strong. We need you. ~ Jenny)

  559. You are positively amazing. I wish I had the words to express my gratitude.

  560. You’re beautiful, Jenny. Thank you for your honesty and your courage. My daughter suffers from OCD symptoms, anxiety and depression, as well. It’s very hard to get into her shell when she’s down, in order to bring her back into the light and out of the gray world. I will share with her what you’ve shared with the world. I know it will help her. Thank you again for that.
    Hugs to you,
    Another broken blogger,
    :o) April

  561. Please excuse the excessively creepy looking face that appears before my name. I was trying to do a sideways smiley and the computer came up with that weird, excited talking face. It doesn’t resemble me at all. 🙂
    Anyway, sorry ’bout that! Stay strong, funny girl….

  567. I know this is an old post, but I just wanted to say that the thought “depression lies” has been so invaluable to me. This is my first serious bout since I started reading your blog, and it helps so much to just repeat to myself “it’s lying, it’s lying, this won’t last forever, I haven’t always felt this way and I won’t always feel this way”. Thank you Jenny, so much, and best wishes to you.

  568. Hi..I just watched your video! and it is great. I have suffered from depression since I was 32. I am now 72. For years, I took medication, and it worked for 30 plus years. Then, the medication was not helping. 13 years ago, I began seeing a psychiatrist, and she put me on a med that lasted about 5 years..but then it didn’t. For the past 3 years, I have been on 6 different medications …4 in the last year.. Sometimes they work for awhile. For the past year, I have been so bad, that I did think about suicide. I kept trying to think of a way to die that. My family would not know it was suicide.
    One day I saw an article about Electro Convulsive Therapy, and how it has improved over the years. When I asked my Dr. About it, she said “I don’t think you fit the criteria, and the therapy causes sometimes severe short term memory loss”. I was disappointed, but accepted yet another change in medication. The med didn’t help. Since summer, I have gotten progressively worse, and since Sept. Have basically been in bed. I can’ t talk on the phone, I feel physically exhausted, and more and more often thought about suicide. Just before Christmas, my husband saw an article about TMS. ..transcranial magnetic stimulation. I found that the University near us offered this therapy. My husband called, and made me an appt. Even though I am still almost always in bed, it has given me the first hope I have had in ages. My Appt. Is tomorrow . It is just an evaluation, but I feel certain I will be accepted. If anyone is interested, I’ll let you know how it goes.
    If your situation is similar to mine,(drugs don’t work)…don’t give up . There ARE alternative treatments other than drugs.

  569. Jenny, I printed this bracelet when you first posted this and the little reminder helped so much. I’m almost 5 months post partum and I’m struggling with the whole motherhood and not-failing-and-causing-irrepairable-harm-to-this-tiny-thing-i-love-while-not-losing-myself-or-my-job-or-my-marriage thing. I came back today to make myself another bracelet and the link doesn’t work. Can you help? Please.

  570. I’m in a dark place right now and just watched your video trying to help myself out. You really touched me when you said “don’t leave”. It immediately made me think of my grand daughter
    and I could almost hear her say that. Thank you.

    I have been battling depression since I was 5 years old and I’m so tired of battling it, it just sucks the energy out of me

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