Isn't it ironic? No. It's just a weird coincidence.

in I am totally overrated, Random Crap

If you look in today’s Parade Magazine you’ll see that they focused the whole issue on the “Funny, moving, jaw-dropping summer’s best books” and you might notice that they actually picked mine as one of their top 5 nonfiction books.  Then you might scream a bit if you’re me.

 

You might also notice that on the cover they put Nathan Fillion, possibly naked and being circled by man-eating sharks.

I can only imagine that they did this as a shout out to me and I must take this opportunity to say “Thank you, Parade Magazine.  You were only missing the twine.”  Click here if you’re confused by this whole last sentence.

In even more bizarre news, CNN brought me on live television again this morning, in spite of the fact that the last time they had me on I ended up saying the word “lady-garden” and then started talking about the zombie apocalypse seemingly out of nowhere.

This morning however I was on much better behavior and managed to only say “a-hole”, “mile-high club” and focused on the need for stupid people to have their own airline so I wouldn’t have to travel with them anymore.  It was awesome and once again I got cut off before I could even mention my book.

Worth it.
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PS. I felt a little bad for hijacking their whole story but now I see that it was actually “Jenny Larson” that was on CNN.  They really should have know better.  That woman is a trouble maker.

217 thoughts on “Isn't it ironic? No. It's just a weird coincidence.”

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  2. I was wondering if you would see the Parade magazine this weekend. Then I cackled like madman when I saw that your book was mentioned.

  5. If CNN won’t let you plug your book then I think it’s a fair trade that you get to talk about things like a-holes and the mile high club!

    Still though, what a bunch of dicks.

  7. Yes, but next time, you really need to bring “Wolf Blitzer” to the set with you.

  8. It shall come turn. The signs of the apocalypse, so to shall the Twine-Reckoning occur!

    I was in Parade magazine once. I was a high school student interviewed about “high school drama and conflict.” I looked like Scott Wolf had a child with Pauly shore.

    Charlie
    http://howtobeadad.com

  10. The thing I find most bizarre out of all of this is that I did not need to click on any helpful previous entry links to totally understand this whole post. Also, I just downloaded your audio book to my itunes account. This now makes the third version of your book that I have purchased. For only myself. So the whole not getting to mention your book on CNN issue…not a problem.

  11. I’m looking at the clip screenshot, and they’re saying your name is Jenny Larson. And I sat here for a minute thinking, “Wow, I thought it was Lawson,” as if I was somehow wrong about the whole thing. I need to work on my confidence.

  14. Yay!! So glad your book was mentioned. I loved it!!
    And as far as Nathan Fillion goes, the twine is probably twisted around his ankles…. or other parts.

  18. How about this for a segue: “While I was on a flight
    for the book tour promoting my new book, LPNH, …”

  19. That is hilarious! Hopefully he’ll read the mag and recognize your name and then you’ll finally get The Prize.

  20. Jenny, I think there is already an airline for stupid people… It’s called “United”.

    ~EdT.

  23. TWICE For A-hole, GO YOU!

    And your suggestion of the big orange headphones that you get at the gun range, is completely genius.

  24. my friend once had a drunk old man ask her if she had a bomb in her glasses. thankfully, this was in 1998 so she wasn’t dragged off the plane and strip-searched. if they could make a separate plane for weird drunk man I’d be so happy. And if they had free booze in the family section of that plan, I would be so happy. I fear the next flight with my nearly-walking 9 month old. Lord help me.

  25. He’s definitely naked (in my daydreams anyway)! I loved your book and think that you SO deserve all of the wonderful exposure that you are getting. I even did a mini-review of it in my blog post today. I highly recommend it for everyone’s summer reading <3

  27. Aww I love how you answered her! It’s true that parents need to be responsible of course – but I do think it’s pretty extreme to offload a family because a kid is upset. On one of my last flights there was this British guy sitting next to a family with a baby. He was obviously having such a hard time that I asked him if he wanted to trade lol. He was extremely flustered and grateful – and I think if I hadn’t switched seats with him he would have snapped. I wonder why he didn’t request a seat away from the bulkhead to start with.

  28. I am totally getting gun range headphones for my iPod. People-might-think-I’m-armed-and-therefore-won’t-bother-me armor would prove very helpful on my subway rides to and from work.

  31. So, I checked my library’s website today, and they have two copies of your book in processing. I snapped a hold on one of them, so hopefully very very soon, I will finally get to read it. I cannot wait.

  32. And you know what’s really obnoxious? When Drunk Dude is trying to molest you and gets moved up to Business to stop the problem. Drunk Dude should be put in the hold! Not moved up to Business!

  34. But we already knew what they’re just finally figuring out…

    You.Are.Awesome. and then some 🙂

    This is just cooler than cool. I am so happy for you1

  35. I totally thought of you when I saw Nater Tater on the cover and then you book as suggested reading!! Hilarious !’

  36. I bet Randi Kaye *LOVES* having you on her show because she learns lots of new vocabulary words.

    I saw Nathan Fillion once from afar (when he was still doing Firefly). You would think the guy would’ve waved to me, but maybe it’s because it was Christmas time and there was a swarm of people around us. And he wasn’t even looking in my direction.

    But still.

  38. Hey Jenny, I love your blog! I would love it if you would maybe write something for our new media platform for women called TheMissStory.com, we let all of our writers use TipMash, a digital tip jar app for content creators to add to their articles and get love from fans. We just launched in April and are growing organically, and we love the use of the f bomb:-) Either way, keep rockin I love your perspective and am a new fan! ~Dawn

  39. I watched you this morning, at 6:49 am, on CNN while drinking my coffee. It was only near the end that the caffeine kicked and I yelled at my hubby “Hey! The Bloggess is on CNN!!!!”

  41. That was great! I hadn’t seen the first video yet, either, and “lady garden” aside, you make a really interesting point about the use of the word “Mommy.” It really is a very chauvinistic, belittling way of characterizing these parenting issues/efforts. Good food for thought – thanks.

  43. Clearly Parade Magazine has your back. Unlike CNN which is obviously trying to thwart your book sales. I can see the line of people at bookstores yesterday being like, “No, Jenny Larson. L-A-R-S-O-N. It said so right on CNN. She is funny. Do you have anything by her?” Obviously, next time they have you on, you will need to open with something along the lines of, “I know you had me here to talk about modesty in the workplace, but let’s start by spelling my name and talking about my book, m’kay.” Thanks, Randi, you are a peach! Bless your heart. 😉

  44. Definitely not a coincidence here. Jaws? REALLY Nathan??? It’s so obvious to me that you are in fact one of his favorite reads. He’s just playing hard to get now.

  46. Love that clip of you! You’re so good at live TV.
    I keep seeing your book being promoted in various bookshops, and I always get a little excited! Congratulations on all the success. Are you ever going to write more books? I would be so excited if you did! x

  48. Seriously, that Jenny Larson girl can’t be trusted… 🙂 Hilarious…you would think they could at least get your name right.

  49. Brilliance, as usual. Congrats on the People shout out! And I ditto the poster who said that you should have Wolf Blitzer with you when you are on CNN. Maybe even both Blitzers. Awesome.

  50. I asked you in Twitter…but I’ll ask here to. Were you wearing a Tardis necklace? Because that would be bad ass

  51. I only snorted Orange Julius when I read your book, not diet-coke. Accuracy in reporting…anyways, I love how you are now an expert who will get called on randomly to comment on the Important Issues of Our Era. You’re like Winston Churchill. Except without all the politics. Or war. Or…well, crap, you’re not like Winston Churchill, except that he talked, too, but what you have to say is both entertaining AND important.
    P.S. Sorry there’s no twine in that Nathan Fillion picture. I bet a shark is holding twine underwater, if that’s any consolation.

  53. He looks confused. Or concerned. Sharks do that, I guess.

    You are awesome and so was your book. Please write another one.

  56. I am not you and I DID scream when I saw Parade this morning, double win with Nathan, who will eventually realize he missed the boat on Jenny Lawrwrson.
    I convince my book club to read your book. We always theme the food to the book, so it will be all Texas and/or stuffed foods. What do you suggest as discussion questions?

  57. If this is my first time to comment should I be ashamed to comment?
    Maybe so.
    Still.
    I was the last person on the planet to find your blog and not that you need to hear this, surely you know, but you are, this is, absolutely awesome.
    Keep doing what you’re doing (like if I hadn’t said that you would’ve stopped).

  59. Who has more fun than you on live television? Nobody, that’s who. Okay, maybe Jimmy Fallon, but definitely you next.

  60. I gotta say, the woman who criticized Anne Romney missed the point, and missed it once again when she foolishly made a blanket apology to her and the rest of the mom(mies) of the world.

    Mitney’s wife’s problem isn’t that she’s a mom(my) and is therefore not allowed to make sweeping statements about the rest of us who “work”, the problem is that she is privileged and appears to be completely unaware of the fact that being rich makes a huge difference! She is so blindingly, freakingly rich that she has nannies (multiple, day & night), gardeners and landscapers, no problems getting her kids into a great school where they can learn and be safe in, no problems getting them to school in the morning or picked up in the afternoon (chauffeurs, multiple, for the MItney’s multiple cars), no problems keeping her many houses/homes clean (many, many maids & housekeepers to take out the trash and vacuum up). If she’s washed a dish in the past 20+ years, I’d be shocked. If she’s wiped a bum more than the number of fingers I have on my right hand, I’d be shocked. If she did wish a dish or wipe a bum, it was her *choice* to do so, a choice the rest of us do not have. We’re stuck with whatever often-terrible situation we’ve been dealt and Ms. Sociopath just doesn’t get it: being rich gives you choices nobody else who isn’t rich has. And anyone who criticizes the Romneys and their judgmental, sociopathic ways has to make that distinction. They are not like us much as they like to pose as reg’lar folks; they are in a tiny, happy, safe minority.

  61. I love how CNN keeps you coming on and letting you do it live. Or do they have you on time delay? Because you know and I know there’s going to be that one time. That one time when something other than lady garden slips through. I just wanna be there when it happens.

  63. I could live with having a kids section on airplanes…. and in restaurants. Before anyone thinks I’m an evil ogre I will tell you that I have a daughter, so I do know SOMETHING about kids but I honestly think it is ok for adults to want to go out and have a nice, quiet meal. Most restaurants have several “sections” so why not seat people without kids in an area away from people with kids?

    I understand that babies cry on planes… they don’t have the same coping mechanisms that adults (and older children) do for dealing with the ear pressure issue, for one. I’ve been asked, more than once, to give up my seat on a plane (only to be squished into a middle seat) so a family could sit together. Given that the alternative would have been sitting next to a child I didn’t know (and being known ever after as “the-a-hole-who-wouldn’t-let-us-sit-together”) I guess the seat switch was ok. Except that there were empty seats in business class AND first class and I would have preferred a move to either of those instead of being stuffed between a woman and her elderly mother who spent the entire flight yelling at each other over me (and rejected the flight attendant’s suggestion that one of them move because one DESPERATELY wanted the window seat and the other DESPERATELY wanted the aisle seat) .

    Very cool that they put Nater Tater on the Parade cover that talked about your book inside. Maybe you should bring it next time you’re ON CNN so even if they don’t let you talk about your book, you could get in at least a visual pitch!

  64. LMAO – who in the CNN booking department keeps putting you on the air? They are my hero.

  65. Totally agree on the silliness of kid-free airlines. Makes you wonder if the people complaining forgot they were children once. You should totally start your own airline for those people *A-hole Airlines*. They get their own planes and you get to rake in all the money (from charging them double, lets call it a douche fee) and put it toward more kid-friendly airlines. Problem solved.

    Also, on my (10pm) flight home from getting to see you in Chicago (awesome, btw), row behind me, 3 kids under the age of 6. Acting as children do when parents are not supervising, the flight attendant was about to lose her mind, but did request one of the parents sit in the same row with them. And by parent I mean, one of their older children (about 16). Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.

    To EdT: Funny enough, this was on United.

    Hmmm, a story about rowdy children on planes and a comment on the airline I was on? Am I being bugged and/or followed?

    This comment got way out of control, I am stopping now.

  66. You seem way more at ease in this interview. I thoroughly enjoyed that conversation!

  67. I love love that they have Nathan Fillion on the cover…. wonder if he is on the joke, er not joke, the theme, or the stalking? And you know he is naked under those shark fins…

    Loved the book, so glad is getting all this buzz and sales….

  69. I wish I cable because I totally would have played the drinking game!!!

    I’m here. In my red dress. Wanting to go hide in a bathroom (where hopefully nobody is throwing up).

  70. I am so happy that the clipping nails reason got on there. Definitely the most gross (and unexpected) thing that has happened to me on a plane.

  73. Jenny, I LOVE that CNN appears to simply have accepted that you will do and say random fantastically irrelevant shit on the air. My theory is that the show has awesome and evil bookers who enjoy making trouble for the presenters. Ideally there’s some twisted backstory about love gone terribly wrong between them…

  74. I particularly love that the CNN website link titles itself as ‘breaking news videos’. I agree entirely with this, the dangers of sitting with children within 50 feet of you on a plane are not to be ignored. After all, those things are scary, they have teeth! Except the babies, obviously. Usually, anyway. Some babies are born with teeth. And of course they all go through that phase where they lose all of their teeth one by one before growing great big sharp ADULT tee… oh wait. Maybe I meant the dangers of sitting withing 50 feet of adults. Because they really do have teeth. Plus, since they have legal access to alcohol, cigarettes and sex, there’s no telling what they might do. At least if the children got access to those things we could sue them for illegal possession. And now I’m realising why people have private jets. Altogether, life would be safer if we were all provided with a private jet. Maybe that’s why people enjoy cruises. You get your own room, so you can go all the way from A to B without being within 50 feet of any dangerous human beings with teeth. Plus, a lot of the people on cruises are really old, so they don’t have to fear teeth since most of them don’t have any. Like the babies.

  76. At first when you started talking about noise cancelling headphones I wanted to scream at the screen “But you can’t wear them for the first or last ~30mins of the flight!” which is painfully long when your eardrums are feel like they are being torn at by gremlins. But I think your idea of the kind of headphones they use on gun ranges (not being attached to anything electronic and therefore totally legal to wear during takeoff and landing) might just be the way to get through my next flight 🙂 It’s not the infants I have a problem with. I know they can’t help it. Some of the best behaved and quietest kids I’ve sat near have been infants. Its the parent(s) sitting reading a book next to their kid(s) of > 4-5 years old who is screaming and kicking the seats in front of them, as if they are completely unaware that that sort of behavior is frowned upon. You’re right. It’s the adult assholes with and without kids who ruin it for everyone.

  79. I’d totally watch a Jenny Lawson show on CNN. This might be the key to saving that network.

  80. Big orange gun-range headphones. And that is just another reason why you’re my hero. Also? I now officially heart CNN.

  81. Ha! I wonder if the Nathan Fillion thing was coincidence? Hmm perhaps a fan works at Parade? Gotta get a copy today.
    Loved the CNN video, that darned Jenny Larsen keeps stealing your thunder though….

  84. Solution: steal ALL Jenny Larson’s fans! And Nathan’s, while you’re at it. ‘May the Bloggess Be With You’ bumper stickers might win them over.

  85. Yeah Jenny Larson is really dangerous. She never really directly answers the questions, and that blonde lady is confused by her. I bet HER blog only gets like ONE million views a month, not two like yours.

  86. O.M.G. Tardis pendant = awesome. You should be called in for every controversy. Far more fun than all those other talking heads. 🙂

    The ONE time I’ve had real trouble with kids while flying was when the parents sat in coach and left three kids, approximately aged 5-8, in coach unsupervised. Meanwhile I’ve actually been afraid of adults having temper tantrums.

    And I kid you not. When I saw today’s Parade I thought, “the one thing this is missing is twine”. Nater Tater doesn’t know what he’s missing.

  87. So I have to point out that when you suggested that we “bring back both of those,” referring to smoking sections and kids sections on planes, I fell out of my chair thinking you meant stick all the kids and smokers together in one section in the back of the plane. I’m pretty sure that second-hand smoke would chill those kids out. No more tantrums. Unless the smokers weren’t allowed to smoke (they’d just be stuck back there) in case everyone would be screaming the whole way to Santa Fe. Hahahaha! 🙂

  89. Squeeee!! You were on telly again! And you were in a magazine, even if it is called Parade and therefore sounds a bit … well, odd frankly, to me. A bit ‘niche’… (sorry, but I’ve never heard of it before and it does look a bit strange) And I still don’t know who Nathan whatsisface is either, but it all doesn’t matter because I also didn’t have to look up any of the handy catch-up links, and knew exactly what was going on, and didn’t have anything to snort except air, but I snorted anyway, because it has been that sort of day, and you have really cheered me up. J. x PS Would CNN let you get away with saying ‘arse hole’, in a very British way, or would that be a step too far?

  90. I have a feeling that Nathan Fillion ASKED to be on the cover of the magazine that you were featured in because it’s his way of saying “Hey, Jenny. I am SO sorry that I slighted you about that whole twine incident. But I am having a hard time getting past my manly ego to actually ADMIT it and send you a picture with twine. Will you forgive me and accept this magazine cover shot as an apology?!? And will you also please continue to stalk me a bit more? Because I LOVE it. I really, really, do.”

    It’s just a feeling, but I’m pretty sure that this was his intention.

  91. you’re hilarious…. I love your list and I totally agree with you. It’s not the kids, it’s the parents. Also… I try hard to make my own bubble.. I bring headphones, I bring a book, a magazine, and I watch the movie.. That way there is more than enough things to distract me if some kid goes bizonkers and disturbs everyone else… I’m content in my own little world.

  93. You know, you get better and better at speaking in front of a camera. It’s lovely to see. Also, thank you for rousing me from my hangover cloud long enough to make me snort coke into my nose. That sounded so wrong. I mean the coke you drink. Not the snorting kind. You know. The wet, brown stuff. The kind that invented Santa.

  94. Whenever I travel with my children, I pack mother’s little helpers, Benadryl and Big League Chew. If your children are anywhere in the vicinity, I will share. I’m giving like that. Also, are you related to that Gary Larson dude? He’s funny too.

  95. I would like to thank you for making my morning shower an opportunity to start the day with a giggle. I can no longer make lather with a bar of soap without feeling a bit racoon-ish. Awesome.

  96. Right. We need to find a way to get this into the White House and then in front of the camera on the National Address.

  97. great job! great necklace! i wish those noise canceling headphones really worked. i am wearing them right now and i can hear every call in this silly baseball game my husband is watching. but, then again, he is the one who brought me to see you yesterday, so i can’t be that mad at him.

  98. I just finished your book, fantastic! I had a fever for 3 nights and was shaking with chills in bed from time to time, so when I was better I started your book which left me shaking in bed from laughter. My husband assumed I was still sick and I let him, milking another day in bed to finish your book. He really hates for me to laugh while he is trying to sleep so being ‘sick’ was the perfect cover!

  99. Congratulations!
    p.s. Nathan is lucky to be mentioned in the same publication as you – I trust it will only help his career!

  100. Ha! My husband was just quoted on CNN’s website and they changed his name from “Aaron” to “Adam”. So much for fact checking.

  101. I’ll take Nathan Fillion naked with sharks over Nathan Fillion holding twine any day. How do you make these things happen???

  103. The next time they introduce you as “The Bloggess”, just cheerily add, “And best selling author of a new book!”. That way you won’t run out of time or cut off. 😉

  104. LOL! Jenny!
    only you could turn a ‘mommy-wars’ debate into a platform for zombie apocalypse preparedness!

  105. Sheesh, POOR Jenny Larson….She was probably outside trying to convince the guard that her car had a flat tire and she was sorry she was late but REALLY she is Jenny Larson and she is supposed to be interviewed about kid-free airplanes.

  107. I don’t know what the fuss is all about on Mr. Fillion, but I’m sure CNN would make him Mr. Filron. Mr. Filron would totally hook up with Ms. Larson.

    WG

  109. Ha! I just snorted my drink in reading this post…. I LOVE that Nathan Fillion is on the cover. That is sooo funny.

  110. He’s not holding the twine with his hands. He wasn’t Captain Hammer for nuttin.

  111. Jenny,

    Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    You have to deal with these things alphabetically, starting with A for A-hole.

    If that takes up the whole interview, before you can get to B for Book, that’s just the way it goes.

    Then the C for CNN person will politely chuck you out the door during the break.

    Simple as ABC.

    I bet you are getting good at this shit.

  112. Okay… seriously… Ive always like CNN, but Kudos to them for having the balls to call you back…. second… There are no coincidences… Nathan Fillion is just tied to you… whether he likes it or not… with twine

  113. You make me want to buy myself those big orange headphones, wear them on a plane, and send you photos. Good job (I can’t believe they let you on the air again after the lady garden bit)!

  114. I received your book on Mother’s day but it was not actually handed to me until I was ready to board my flight to Texas. I was “that lady” on the flight laughing out loud! Great read! And the children on the flight were all well behaved! I am leaving Texas tomorrow and will be scouting the airport bookstore for another, possibly signed, copy of your book. Thanks for everything, your humour, honestly and talent. And please consider coming to Canada. Please? It’s a lovely time of year to visit and we would definitely show you a good time!

  115. It is impossible that Nathan on the front of Parade is a coincidence. It proves there is a God and He has a sense of humor. I am reading your book on kindle right now while in Mexico on vacation and somehow it makes the weirdness of Mexico seem normal. So thanks for that!!!!!

  116. I noticed he was on the cover and thought he totally should have given you a shout out! 😀

  117. I saw Nathan on the cover of Parade and thought of you. Somehow I missed the mention in Parade – BUT your book did get mentioned in our local paper as one of the top books to read this summer! I was giddy with excitement for you.

  118. Stupid people definitely need their own flights. But you know what else? Let’s just segregate them altogether. “Ah, I see, so you believe that you have the right to go out in public and never be exposed to things that are annoying to you? BACK OF THE BUS, BEEYATCH.”

  119. Oh yeah, Nathan is merely taunting you now. Soon there will be twine. Soooooooonnnnnn.

  120. Have you ever seen the Bon QuiQui Air stewardess comedy act? I

    Also your infamy has spread here to Canada, I was innocently shopping with a girlfriend, saw your book on the recommended reads shelf and tripped out saying ” I KNOW WHO THAT IS!” and weirded out several customers.

  123. So I went to watch the CNN video & one of the top video picks below was “Dead Cat turned into Flying Object”. Coincidence? I think not! Maybe it was being hurled at the “loud movie talker’s” home!

  126. I can’t stand it when people get all self-righteous about kids on planes and in restaurants and want them banned. My kids are much better behaved than most adults in either of those places. Age discrimination is unfair!

  128. CNN is doing pretty bad in the ratings, so it’s no wonder they are trying to bring in some fresh, controversial voices. As for Nathan Fillion, maybe the twine is wrapped around his manly parts.

  129. You’re so damn cute! Nobody else gets to say “a-hole” repeatedly on CNN. You are my fuckin’ hero!

  130. Jenny Larson is your secret identity isn’t it? Jenny Lawson -the bloggess is the super hero and Jenny Larson is the prim (a-hole, not asshole) , slightly off topic, and entirely convincing distraction. EXCELLENT.

  131. Clearly, someone at CNN is smart enough to figure out that you’re the best live interview they’ve got right now. And this time the announcer didn’t even look quite so gobsmacked by your choice of vocabulary — I think she’s learning!

  132. Oh gosh yes—-I would TOTALLY buy a “May the Bloggess be with you” bumper sticker! Except that nowadays we don’t really stick them on, glue-style anymore. So please make it a magnet style one. I will buy one for myself and 2 or 3 more as Christmas presents. Better yet, could we make it a “May the Bloggess be ever in your favor” magnet? Can you get away with that without them screaming copyright infringement? Let’s try, okay? Otherwise I’m gonna have to paint that on my cat. And he probably wouldn’t appreciate it. He’s kinda snarky that way. And you REALLY don’t want to get Redneckitty (aka Redneckedy aka Rednakedy ake Rednekkidy) all stabby.

  133. I bet that’s a warning to Nathan Fillion in a hold-the-twine-and-nobody-gets-hurt sort of way. But with sharks. You know, like “Hold the twine or the sharks will chew off your valuables.”

  135. You need to go on a crime spree. STAT!!

    Because when the shit hits the fan, this “Larson” chick is gonna go down. And go down hard. Luckily, all of your id infomation shows you as the Good Jenny.

    CNN JUST GAVE YOU A FREE ALTERNATE PERSONA. You should probably get a llama sidekick… Just to further keep the feds off your tracks.

    Good luck out there.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  136. Yes on the bumper magnet. You were adorable and funny. Congrats!

    And you’re right it IS terrifying for parents bringing their kids on planes. We used to fly a lot with our son when he was a baby and EVERY FUCKING TIME WE FLEW he knocked a neighboring passenger’s drink in their lap. Even though I attempted to manually straight-jacket him with only my arms and WARNED said neighbor to put their drink on the OTHER SIDE of their tray because my baby is Gumby. I guess they saw me trying so hard that they trusted me to not let anything terrible happen to them. Gullible schmucks.

  138. Maybe you have multiple personalities, Larson and Lawson. Or just wrong identity information…when I did some people finder info thingy, my records popped up claiming I’m living where I actually live, but, 61 years old. Totally explains why I get “Scooter Store” emails and AARP membership invites in the mail. http://disorderlywanderlust.blogspot.com/

  139. I “personally” thought your answers were terrific. As you intimated, there are worse things than kids on a plane. There is also travelling by train. I rode the train from NYC to Boston one time and was seated next to a guy drinking beer. Of course, before the trip was over, he threw up on his feet (not much overspray, thank goodness). However, it was a packed train, so there was no opportunity to move. Yuck. Maybe you’ll become a regular on CNN. A good story might be how you got hooked up with them. You’re welcome.

  140. Two things..

    1. i love Nathan Fillion’s work in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (sexy-ass southern evil preacher of the pristine shiny original evil…) and Firefly…. (aka i love everything you’ve ever said about him…)

    2. i have bought two copies of your book.. so far.. one for me, that i’ve already loaned out to someone i wish would write a book of her own, and i’ve told EVERYONE I KNOW TO BUY CAUSE THEY’LL FUCKING LOVE IT…. and another for a friend of mine who *finally* graduated from college. took her long enough.. but at least she’ll have something to do while she waits at Taco Bell for her job interview… yay! i’m helping! (= don’t worry. if everyone buys at least two copies, you never even need to plug the book on CNN.. plus, fuck them. uptight liberals… >;)

    3. love your work!
    (three things… i lied. so sue me.)

  141. oh and 4. your voice is higher pitched than i imagined… not a problem. just interestingly different. neat to hear you speak.. so lady-like when you’re not saying “a-hole”… ha. 🙂

  143. Bought your book. Read it. Love it.
    I am so jazzed at all the attention..it’s like I had a little sister who suddenly turned out to be Reese Witherspoon. So so so happy for you.

  148. Jenny, I want to make you shoes. Custom shoes. Totally free of charge, of course. As a thank you for your awesomeness. But I need your shoe size.

    Promise not to use said shoe size for evil.

    That is all.

  149. Congrats! I once told Nathan Fillion I loved him in The Hurt Locker and Silver Spoons. I’m not sure if he thought it was as funny as I did.

  150. Honestly, I was somewhat surprised the Mr. Twine-less Fillion forgot to mention your book as one of his favorites!
    And thank you again for pointing out it’s the Parents who are exhibiting “bad behavior” NOT the kids. You rock! (But you already know that, don’t ya.)

  151. I read Parade yesterday and totally thought the whole Nathan Fillion story was in homage to you.

  152. The most amazing thing just happened.

    I caught my husband…… Reading your blog! He loves it. He even asked ” Are you going to be buying her book anytime soon. I kind of want to read it.”

    Whaaaaaat! The Bloggess saved my marriage.

  154. Jenny – was in the audience in Chicago at Litfest, you said you would work a-hole into the interview and YOU DELIVERED. Hats off to you.

  156. After Tweeting you about the Parade item yesterday, a large fish dropped out of the sky next to our beach chairs as we enjoyed a great day at the shore (no bird insight). Can only surmise you sent it as a thank you. You’re welcome. Also, PLEEEZ come to Rehoboth Beach’s fab bookstore Browse About when you launch the next book, swear I’ll get the entire population out to wear Jenny masks!

  157. …Larson? Does this mean that from now on, you get to do everything illegal/silly/dangerous/stupid, etc that you feel like doing, and get away with it, as you can claim it wasn’t you who did the illegal/silly(dangerous/stupid, etc thing, as it was clearly done by this stranger called Larson, that you know absolutely nothing about, but you’ve heard she’s not quite right in her head?

  158. When you say Jenny Larson with a fancy accent it SOUNDS like Jenny Lawson. And probably someone fancy scheduled you initially and the people who do the graphic just interpreted.

  159. Love your blog and just bought the kindle edition of your book. Can’t wait to read it!
    Tara

  160. The screaming babies also redirect my anxiety from “OHMAHGAWD I’m going to die on this plane” to “OHMAHGAWD someone shut that kid up.” Totally annoying yet helpful all at once.

  161. Reading the Sunday Houston Chronicle yesterday, I saw Nater Tater on the cover of Parade and wondered if he was holding twine under the water. Then when I read that Parade had recommended your book, I squealed! But just a little because my squealing can sometimes upset the dogs. The only thing that would have been awesomesuacier would be if Nathan Fillion had actually recommended your book instead of “Jaws” or whatever loser books he reads.

  162. Thank you for cutting through the bullshit that they are trying to make a story of, and just putting the responsibility where it belongs-with the parents. In some instances it isn’t even the parents fault. I’ve been around children that could barely be restrained-for which I blame nature. But in most instances, it lies squarely with the parents. Are your pr people trying to get you on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart? Because you belong on that show. (I see you as a special correspondent regarding human life/human interest stories-but I may be getting ahead of myself.)

  163. I LOVE the idea of the big orange gun range ear covers! I’m going to buy 6 pair for the next time I fly with all five of my kids alone from Egypt to Dallas! Then we can block out all of the deranged people that sit around us asking us bizarre questions like, “Are all of those YOUR kids?” and “Don’t your parents know about birth control?” and “Why are you making hand puppets out those barf bags??” I am also going to submit your name for MOTY award merely for the fact that you can get away with saying a-hole on CNN live three times without them going to a commercial break.

  164. As soon as I saw N.F. on the cover of Parade I thought of you and said “Oh sure, he can do this but he can’t be bothered to hold a simple ball of twine for a picture! Twine would have been so much easier than sharks.”. He’s taunting you!

  166. Your voice always sounds so sweet to me… which makes the things that come out of your mouth even better. It’s like sipping a mango margarita rimmed with sticky napalm – you kill me.

  167. I just watched your CNN bit and I have to say you are totally adorbs! (And I hate that word… so yeah.) I think you need to be a talk show host…maybe for HBO or Showtime 🙂

  169. When I saw Larson, I just pictured Sean Connery saying your name. Although that would be more Larshon. But still, wouldn’t it be nice to hear him say your name?

  170. The cover says he reveals his favorite reads … surely he included you. Just b/c he doesn’t do that kind of thing (I believe that’s what he said once about why he wouldn’t do the twine picture) doesn’t mean he wouldn’t do the read your book kind of thing.

    I finished your book last night. One of those things you hate to see end, like the day after Christmas. Though, I keep picking out chapters to read to my partner, who says she’s quite capable of just reading it on her own, but that would mean I wouldn’t get to basically re-read in the process so, no.

  171. How did I miss this on CNN? I would do this too. In fact, I wrote about blowing a phone call with Bethenny Frankel’s staff member when I mentioned “Baby Jesus” in normal conversation. How has evolution not picked off the people like us? Congrats!

  172. I think instead of A-hole you just should have gone ahead and used lady garden every time instead. That’s what they deserve for screwing up your name.

  173. I somehow got two copies of your book, so since it had a bunch of dead animals in it, I gave one to my sister the newly minted vet. I felt it was appropriate. She laughed herself sick, so thanks for making me look like a better gift giver than I really am!

  175. I bought your book for my nook, and within a few hours of finishing it, passed three hearses on the highway. Coincidence? Maybe. What surprised me most, though, was that hearse is pluralized hearses. I thought it wouldn’t have a different plural, and be like, ya know, deer, or something.

  177. I love how she was trying to be so serious about this topic and really wanted to get your opinion on this very serious issue. Too bad it was YOU and not the “New Airline Regulations and Policies” expert, Jenny Larson. How awkward for that poor reporter.

    And you only said A-holes twice. That’s probably some kind of new on air record, I imagine. So props for that.

  179. OK, I’m putting myself on a 12-step program when it comes to your blog. I think I might be addicted. Case in point: I already read this post last night, dammit, but here I am reading it again! I think the first step to recovery is acceptance. I’m not sure I’ll be able to accept a non-income, though, when I lose my job due to lack of productivity.

  181. LOL!!!

    Well, it’s ok since you only said A-Holes 2 times. In other news, the stalker gods were blessing you with Nathan on the cover of the magazine. Had he actually been holding twine– it would have been too awesome to share with the world.

  182. Jenny Larson was awesome. And it could have been worse… much worse… so thankfully you and your doppelganger came through it 🙂

  183. I only mind kids on airplanes when they kick the back of my seat (which has only happened once in 7 flights, so that’s not too bad). Other than that, I agree with you. I hope they make those flights happen so that I can get better seating on the Don’t-Give-A-Damn flight.

  184. Screw’em if they can’t take a Joke. I have been told if you don’t already know the answer, then don’t ask the questions.

    Remember this when they peg you for a tv pilot that has sure got to be coming soon!!!
    Awesome, a 30 minute comedy called “The Blogess” it would be spectacular!!

  185. My husband and daughter flew with me for their very first flight EVER on Virgin airlines. It was awesome in every way except for the very young toddlers that were situated directly beside us on the flight there, and directly behind us on the flight back. Just one, mind you. But one was enough. Loud, obnoxious, screaming, demanding, snotty nosed little brat children.

  186. I wanted to share with you that soon after beginning to read your book I managed to spill hot tea on it, and when I wiped it off it took some letters with it. >.> Still totally legible, though. My favorite thing about this is that it is on the page about how you think that a ‘clean’ house should still look like it was lived in, so I pretended that I was agreeing with you by showing that a good book should look like it was read. And had hot tea spilled on it.

    Book was awesome, by the way. 🙂

  187. I saw that in Parade and I thought of you! Congratulations! (Parade is Big Time!)

  190. I find it ironic that they placed a book called “Yes, Chef” after yours after you’ve gone on record – in your own book – that cooking really isn’t your thing… Just sayin’! 🙂

  192. Jenny, Did you know you are one of the books mentioned in WholeLiving magazine (a martha stewart publication, nonetheless) Reads that Feed on page 36 of the April 2012 issue??

    Thanks to my neurosurgeon for keeping this subscription in his office! Cancel my lobotomy, Doc!

  193. Nathan Fillion. Sharks. Naked. Reading. With you behind him a couple of pages. Waiting. Lurking. Snarky. It’s like the world’s psychologist out this all together just to fuck with everyone and see if we notice. I love the universe.

  195. Wow, that is the first time in over three years I’ve willingly watched CNN.

  196. Oh, if only gun range headphones could drown out the sound of a child wailing……

  197. CNN had you back after you said LADY GARDEN on their show? Wow, just wow.

  199. Do you think Bloggess Nation would have forgiven him for “Twinegate” had he been holding a copy of your book instead of Jaws? I think not.

  200. I totally agree with you Jenny – it’s the parents who need to be responsible for their children! Flying is a luxury, but so many people forget that it wasn’t that long ago we used chuck wagons to travel long distances. 😛

    I flew to Chicago recently and had a woman with a toddler sitting next me. He was maybe 2 and a bit fussy. Was it annoying, sure, but it’s a child and they’re going to act out sometimes. She held on to him, and was so apologetic every time his little arm or leg came into my seat space, I finally said “Let’s assume that last ‘sorry’ covers the rest of flight.” She looked so grateful. I put my headphones in (noise-cancelling :P) and he ended up falling asleep pretty soon after take off anyway. All good. 🙂

  202. I would love to read your book on my kindle but it broke my $9.99 rule.
    Kindle Price: $12.99 includes free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
    You Save: $12.96 (50%)
    Sold by: Penguin Publishing
    This price was set by the publisher

    I love the free sample and hope our libary get sit in soon.
    Good luck

  203. Well, if you think about it, “a-hole” could be anything… a hole in the astroturf, a hole in the attic, a hole in the apple, a hole in atheism. CNN just couldn’t think fast enough to figure out which kind of hole you might have meant.

  204. You did great. You are doing great. I could never go on tv like that. I’d just start yelling out BOOBS. TUNAFISH. I WANNA GO HOME!

  205. Seriously, you need your own news show. I might actually learn something about the world. I am thinking about pitching to Nick about adding a ticker to the bottom of the screen for parents so they can get info while kids are watching spongebob. It’s a win-win. They could pay me in wine.

  207. I saw the listing in “Parade” and was excited for you. You’re experiencing a lot of awesome things as of late. Enjoy every minute of it. What a sales boost that listing should get you!!! You made it into the homes of everyone who gets the Sunday paper!!!

  208. NATHAN FILLION IS HOLDING TWINE in this photo! Okay, okay, it’s a technicality, but “JAWS” contains the word “twine” eight separate times (on pages 84, 86 & 92). Yes, I looked it up. Don’t judge me.

  211. Hey Jenny,
    I just wanted to say I love your book. I had pre-ordered it both in hard back as a gift for my mum and in kindle format for me. I spent many afternoons on a packed train commuting home from work giggling to myself as I read your book, I think everyone thought I was bat shit crazy 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your world

    Becki

  212. I need to find this magazine! I love love LOVE Nathan Fillion, and I may have to fight you over him. I’m like a teenage girl in my obsession. It’s shameful for a 32 year old.

  213. Typical of CNN’s appalling incompetence….It’s a No-Brainer & Lesson #1 from Journalism 101: Get the guest’s name right….!!

  215. For the first time ever I disagree with The Bloggess. There absolutely should be a child-free version of *every damn thing.* Child-free planes, child-free restaurants, child-free amusement parks, child-free Toys ‘R’ Us sales…

  216. One time I Googled my name and then your website popped up. Freakin’ GENIUS. We do spell our first names differently, although up until 3rd grade I spelled it as “Jenny”, so that’s gotta count for something! I like you already.

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