I did a book signing and then bought some snow tires

I wrote this two weeks ago before my depression hit but I was too sick to finish it until now.  I’m feeling much, much better this morning, so let’s just pretend this last two weeks never happened…

Over the last half month I’ve been traveling North America on book tour and it’s been amazing, overwhelming, terrifying, weird and awesome. All in that order.

Every stop was filled with wonderful people who understood when I needed to hide under a table and who brought extra xanax if I needed it.

Almost every stop was standing-room-only, and seeing a whole passel of strange and wonderful people come together and find their tribe was amazing.  This was a typical gathering that took place at a Portland mall:

I felt a lot like Tiffany or Debbie Gibson, but with less hats.

But one of my favorites was the last stop (at a Costco) which was awesome because everyone got to eat samples of toaster strudels and also because you could buy my book BY THE PALLET.

Buy one pallet, get one free.

I wasn’t allowed to do a reading over the intercom because the book is too irreverent but when I finally left there were still a few people hanging around asking if I’d do one.

And so I did.

In the parking lot.

And it was wonderful.

My favorite part of this picture is the confused woman on the left looking for snow tires.

An enormous thank you goes out to every single person who came to the readings, bought the book, stole the book, or petitioned your library for the book.  Because of you Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is still (barely holding on) on the NYT list after 4 months, and so many people are discovering for the first time how very not alone we are.  Thank you for that.

Also, lots of people asked if there would be an updated tour shirt to commemorate a tour that brought me joy, laughter, shock, exhaustion, indigestion and enough material that I actually wrote an entire new chapter about it.  And the answer is yes.

click for details.

PS?  Thank you.  Seriously.  For supporting me when I was on the road, and for supporting me these last few weeks when I’ve been recovering.  I am so damn lucky that such an amazing community  has my back.

298 replies. read them below or add one

  1. You’re my kind of crazy :)

  2. I went to Costco to get 500 rolls of extra strength toilet paper and all I got was this lousy book reading.

    ilikebeerandbabies recently posted Have a Happy Holiday.

  3. You are wonderful and we loved seeing you! Only do what makes you feel Awesome!

    Melodie recently posted I have no followers.

  4. Sigh… wish I could have witnessed the glorious-ness that I’m sure was present at ALL readings!

    Nic recently posted Portrait of a Gay Blogger.

  5. Girl – you brighten my day immensely!! I am so glad your feeling better. :D

  6. That might be the best book reading I have ever seen in my life.

  7. I think all book signings should include samples of toaster strudels

  8. So happy you are back and feeling better!!

  9. So glad you’re back at it!
    Also, Samples + Snow Tires + Bloggess Reading = my kind of party. Wish I could have been there!

    Katrina recently posted Pimples and Twitter.

  10. We’ll always have your back :)

    Can’t wait for the new book!

    And hopefully there will be more Canadian stops ;) We’re lovely people, I promise! I want to show you Tim Hortons.

  11. Everyone knows that if you rearrange TIRE SALES, it reads LES SATIRE. How appropriate and French even!

    We luvz your certain sort of sassy madness wrapped in sardonic WTF.

    Muwah!
    ~ Dr Brassy

    Dr Brassy Steamington recently posted Steampunk Necklace Pocket Watch Case Sightmares Eye Custom- You pick the color by Dr Brassy Steamington by DrBrassysSteampunk.

  12. Hey dude, don’t let the sad feelings win. Anytime you need a laugh, you just come to me and I’ll figure something out. Loved your book by the way! I didn’t get it on a pallet but the store did smell a bit like urine, so close enough.

    Canadian Dad recently posted Something Made Me Very Angry Tonight!.

  13. Damn that’s a lot of people! Awesome! That reminds me, i need to get tires…

    Mayor Gia recently posted My (Not So) Secret Addiction.

  14. Who would want snow tires when they could listen to you reading? Unless maybe she was hungry and they had free samples in the tire section too.

  15. Glad to hear you’ve come up for air, both from the tour and from the feeling like a giant poo-burger. Always nice to feel like you can breathe again :-)

    Ashley recently posted The Incredible, Spectacular, Fantastic... Me. And my Super Friends..

  16. Welcome back. :) I’m still kicking myself for not ditching work and driving three hours to see you. MEA CULPA.

    Natalie the Singingfool recently posted I Regress: In Honor of the Blue Moon, Which Has Really Ruined My Week†.

  17. Though it may sometimes feel like, you never walk alone.

  18. You. Are. Awesome. Amazing. (Crap. I’m out of “A” words.) Just know you rock. I’m so happy I got to “meet” you for just a minute at Elliot Bay Book Co in Seattle. Wish I would’ve made the trip up the next day to see you at Costco too!

    Monika recently posted An Open Letter to the Creator of “U Are a Gift”.

  19. I’ve read it and recommended it to everybody I know, so it’s not surprising they’re selling it by the pallet. Costco also does the biggest prawn rings I’ve ever seen. VALUE for prawn fans.

    Joely recently posted Geek hats.

  20. 20
    Mrs. Hamlet

    I had so much fun! Thank you thank you thank you for adding Oregon to your tour. I hope you enjoyed our greenness!

  21. Bought your book recently, and read it last week on holiday. Totally didn’t realise until I was halfway through that you are dealing with an anxiety disorder and depression, and I just wanted to say thankyou, because as a teenager who has just been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, it made me laugh and reassured me that there will always be something good. And I also think you should come and visit England. Thankyou again. xxx

  22. I feel so lucky to have seen you, heard you read, then made you smile for a photo. All the awesome-ness of writing a best-seller couldn’t have happened to a sweeter person. Go you!

  23. You have made me laugh out loud several times before bed for the last few nights. I am so grateful. My new favorite word is foxen,I laugh everytime! I will forever call plural fox foxen and give you credit. Just for the record, in our house Toaster Strudels is Toaster Turtles thanks to my 6 year old nephew. They taste better.

  24. I love that picture of you doing the parking lot reading! It looks like some kind of crazy adult education field trip.

    Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted Fill your life with unspiration..

  25. I don’t know why or how, but there’s some weird but important metaphor in there for coming out of depression. Welcome back, beautiful.

    Bastia recently posted The Reluctant Vegan: Rules of Engagement.

  26. When are you coming to Canada?! My book feels naked without a signature…

  27. It was the highlight of my year, meeting you in Denver. You are the BEST! And getting a pic with Copernicus too? wow…..

  28. Glad you’re back! I thought you did great in New York.
    Here’s a picture of the two of us at the New York Barnes & Nobles early in your book tour.
    http://executiveseverance.blogspot.com/2012/08/too-much-humor-talent-in-one-room.html

    All the best,
    Bob Blechman

    Robert K. Blechman recently posted Batman Consults Fast, Funny Executive Severance for Detecting Tips.

  29. I loved seeing you in SD (regardless of how socially challenged I appeared). Thank you so much for braving the process. You really are kind of great. Kind of a truckload of great.

    Melanie recently posted If Hurricanes Were People, They’d Be A-holes.

  30. Damn it! I knew we should have stuck around the Costco after the signing in Seattle. I would have bought everyone a round of hotdogs!

    Marisa recently posted We met Jenny the Bloggess!!!.

  31. LOVE the reading in the parking lot pic. That is classic Jenny right there. You are the Queen of Awesome. I must admit I’m surprised you didn’t try to lasso the snow tire lady into the reading group.

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Lelo’s Smart Wands – A comparative review.

  32. This officially makes you the queen of multitasking. Rock on.

    Queen Of All Things Good recently posted It's A Simple Question, Really.

  33. LOOK AT ALL THOSE SMILING FACES!! That’s what you do to people.

    Robin Plemmons recently posted 6 Things That Make Me Happy.

  34. So glad I got to see you on tour. You were amazing in Boston, and probably everywhere else too. Glad to hear you are feeling better.

  35. You are so right about the book being a homing beacon for finding my tribe. Those that get it, get it. Those that don’t, don’t and I’m okay with that :D. I was so excited to find that my library actually pre-ordered the book. I didn’t even have to remind them lol. But the audio book I discovered was best listened to when I was sitting somewhere comfy, without food (that could cause choking) or anything pointy near the comfy seating that would cause injury if I fell off from laughing) Definitely not a book to listen to in a moving car. So glad to hear things are going better (knock wood).

  36. Your book is easily the funniest and most relatable book I’ve read in my whole life…and I’m a reader. So that says something.
    You’re an inspiration- even when you don’t feel like you are. Your strength and determination to continue on blows me away.
    Thanks for being real. We need more real people in this world.

    Cathy recently posted The great outdoors, and why I hate camping.

  37. I can see myself in that picture at the mall! You were awesome and thank you so much for coming to Portland. You made my day! I hope Cthulhu in a box is enjoying living with you!

  38. We love you, Jenny. :)

  39. I read your book while in the back seat of my fiance’s parents’ truck driving to and from a small town in southeastern ohio. At one point i was laughing so hard that I thought I was going to get asked to read sections out loud. Which I couldn’t do because I was wheezing. So my (future) Mr. read the sections to himself and laughed just as hard.

    deva recently posted Ginger-Soy Chicken Stir Fry with White Rice.

  40. Saw you in Miami. Laughed my A$$ off! You are awesome!

  41. I love that you did an impromptu book reading just outside of Costco. Seeing that picture made my day.

  42. I’m so glad that you’re feeling better and that your book tour was such a success. Please promise that you’ll come to Montreal for the next book…..please, pretty please… I’ll even bring you some amazing Montreal bagels; so totally worth the trip, I promise.

    Kat recently posted My two loves: internet and reading.

  43. With this huge success followed by a depression… makes me wonder if there’s any hope for the unsuccessful. You know, it seems to me your depression is more of a post-partum type of thing. I work in events, and the day after a huge event is always experienced with a mental crash. It’s like a post sugar high. Have you considered this? You know, make it easier on yourself with the evaluation and use of the term “depression”, make it less depressing my calling it something less permanent. Post-partum from coming home after such a successful tour.

    Or something like that. I’m not a doctor, but I fired every therapist I ever had. They’re sicker than I am.

    Marie Nicole recently posted I Won!.

  44. Geez girl..how many snow tires DID you buy??? Never seen a Costco parking lot that empty before…

    Glad you’re feeling better.

    crazyfasteddy recently posted Destined To Manage Money....

  45. I so hate that I missed the Atlanta stop. Maybe it will be on the schedule after book II.

  46. We totally have your back. If anyone gets in your face (without xanax) let us know. We’ll shank ‘em with a dried chicken breast.

    PS.
    If you ever met me, I think we could totally be friends.

  47. That Costco picture of your reading is pure awesomeness.

    I wish I could have come. Next book, you must stop in Raleigh, NC.

    ColdBlooded recently posted Counting Sheep..

  48. You are a wonderful woman, and I loved your book! Looking forward to the next one!

    Kathleen recently posted Prettier Than Mushrooms.

  49. I bought your book about a month ago when I was in Denver visiting a friend. I knew absolutely nothing about you or your book before that day and I couldn’t put the book down. It turned out to be the best thing I spent money on the whole trip. You write the way I talk and it was so relatable I found it unnerving. I a so happy I found your book and your blog, it has really helped me through a difficult time in my life and got me to laugh out loud more than I have in a very very long time.

  50. :-( = sad face because you were down
    :-) = happy face because you aren’t today

    we need to figure out a way to keep the lying bastard away from you. i so want you to live a life FILLED with the joy you bring us all.

    XLMIC recently posted I must start with a huge apology... (alternate title: Nuun – Improving on Perfection).

  51. AMAZING. The best part for me is how you went outside and read to your fans when you totally could have acted like you had a bunch of other shit to do that was more important and no one would have been the wiser. I have warm fuzzies now, and my eyes are watering a little. I’m PMS-ing, sorry, everything makes me cry.

    So glad you’re feeling better!

    Kristen Mae recently posted Warriors, Ploughs, Jiggly Bits, and Public Promises.

  52. 52
    Benjamin Venable

    Loved your visit at Powell’s in Portland – thanks for coming! :)

  53. So sad not to be any of the places you were. As others have noted, you are definitely “my kind of crazy.” Maybe there was an evil planet thing going on, as I’m rebounding a bit myself. (Unfortunately, Depression as Diet Plan doesn’t work for me. Food is looooove.) xoxox

    Wendy recently posted Reclaiming the Basement.

  54. 54
    Sam Whiteoak

    Ah, I may not have seen you in person, but my ‘To Snookums’ card signed by you which my friend very kindly got for me as a suprise, is good enough. I too often get told to ‘do one’ from places, but I don’t think they want me to do a book reading. I am planning a drive by reading for mine if and when I ever get that far…..Lawsbian love. :-)

    Sam Whiteoak recently posted It’s official..I AM WRITING A BOOK!.

  55. You’re probably the best celebrity in the world.

    Brian recently posted Tunnel of MURDER Love.

  56. You should have bought a bunch of snow tires THEN done the reading. Then you could’ve sat on a stack of them while you did the reading, and demanded that everyone address you as the Snow Tire Queen.

    Jillian recently posted Fuck You, Car, That's MY Pizza: My Earliest Memory.

  57. We adore you!!!! And my friend loves her book signed to her and her “girls” ( her urban chickens). Get some well-deserved rest!

  58. I thoroughly enjoyed going to your reading/book signing in Seattle! It was the first time I had ever been to one and you’ve set the standard high!!

    Jenn-O recently posted Paper Pieced Sewing Machine Accessory Bag.

  59. Snow tires, a book reading and Costco? That’s the ultimate trifecta right there.

    Rhana @ Dumb {Squared} recently posted Angry Groucho Marx uses a toothbrush.

  60. I patently refuse to believe that any stop in your tour could have been better than San Diego! We have better weather and way more chickens.

    Elizabeth C. recently posted 15 Days, 20 Hours and 27 minutes....

  61. Welcome back, oh great and wonderful Bloggess! And I can say that I would have been one of the people sitting on the ground outside Costco listening to you if I had been able to get away to come see you in Seattle. And maybe trying to kidnap you afterwards…

  62. I am sad you never came close enough to me that I could pout my husband into driving me to see you. In the interests of your sanity, I’m glad your tour appears to be over. I hope you continue on the upward spiral! Just as an FYI, I love your audiobook so much that I would petition to have you read ALL the books I read.

  63. After the concert in the bathroom, I was worried for you and a book tour. The sheer amount of energy it takes to be out of your comfort zone and round that many people for that long – sheesh! Great job making us all feel loved!

  64. 64
    Jennifer Gallagher

    It’s like we are on the same (crazy) wave-length! The last two weeks have had me by the throat too. You know what got me out this time? ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ sung by Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole. This song has saved my life more than once. Keep writing, keep living furiouly happy and remember, as you said, depression LIES! I love you girl!

  65. Too bad Costco deprived the rest of their customers from hearing you. You make perfect sense to me. Obviously they’re just small minded.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted Pls read this- I almost made a fatal oversight- literally.

  66. We have your back just like we should all have each others. . .you are one awesome chick!

  67. I’m in that Portland picture! Though I can’t spot myself (darn you face blindness!). I’m on the right hand side, sitting somewhere in the middle rows.

    But really, you were fantastic. I dragged my husband along (he bravely hid in the section of books about hiking) and he didn’t believe me when I told him you had a social anxiety “issue”. He said you sounded like you did this all the time, and were far too polished and spoke too well to have social anxieties. *grin*

    I’ve got to convince him to read your book.

    Jessa recently posted Pirates!.

  68. Jenny, I’m so glad you’re in this world! Thank you for signing a copy of your book on the Bob Rivers Show for me, although I don’t think “knock knock, motherfucker” was what Spike had in mind when he said to write something dirty. It was EXACTLY what I had in mind, though. I wish I’d been there. Next time you’re in Seattle, I’m coming on the air to meet you.

  69. 69
    BluePlasticJess

    I’m so happy you’re out of the hole and back in the light. I’ve been missing your special brand of crazy. I’m also very glad I got to see you in Portland, even if I cried when I tried to talk to you and the got embarrassed and ran away to hide in the bathroom. The bathroom at the Cedar Hills Powell’s is much less sketchy than the one downtown, so it was ok.

  70. You know, for a Portland mall I would expect WAAAAY more hipsters…

    Glad to see you on the interwebz again.

    Brandon, The Ho from Idaho recently posted What Would YOU Do With Mitt Romney?.

  71. Thank you for sharing your hilarious stories with us. I pre-ordered the book and read it as soon as it came out.

  72. 72
    Debs (Findawe)

    You are awesome Jenny, and so are all your tribe. I’m so pleased to have found such an inspirational writer & a whole bunch of new Internet pals! Glad you’re feeling better, keep looking after you.

  73. I think all toaster strudels should come with a reading by the Awesome that use The Bloggess..

  74. Ugh… That was supposed to say that IS THE BLOGGESS..

  75. Do you know what would have made your mall stops that much more authentic? Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth cologne. Which, thank the good Lord, you can still buy on Amazon.

    Kelly@Sublurban Mama recently posted If Toddlers and Tiaras Was More Royally Awesome.

  76. I love the book reading in the parking lot. It’s got such a revival feel to it! Aces!!! Get some rest kiddo…put those feet up and have Victor get you a chocolate bar and a pint.

    Jenn recently posted Re-enacting Dr. Strangelove.

  77. So so happy you’re feeling better, and LOVE the Costco reading :) Those people don’t know how lucky they were to find you there and I’m rather jealous. What does a woman have to do to convince you to do a little European tour…once you’ve completely recovered from this one, of course.

    Lindsey recently posted Look What I Did!.

  78. I LOVE that you posted a picture from Portland!! My friends & I drove 5.5 hours to get there & I cross-stitched the ENTIRE time!! Hopefully the rainbow shitting Unicorn has brought you a smile or two while you’ve been depressed!!

  79. It was an absolute pleasure to be there to support your wine slushie habit and cheer when you shouted “I’M CALLING THE POLICE. AND I HAVE DIARRHEA!” I even bought an extra copy of your book so I could get it signed. Worth every mile we drove and every penny we spent!

    karifur recently posted Color-coordinating your vagina.

  80. 80
    Alice Fraggle

    After I finished reading your book I looked at my husband and said “She gets me.” He looked a bit puzzled and so I said “You know how sometimes I say something random and you have NO IDEA how I got there from what we were talking about? Yeah – she does that too. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one!”
    Thank you for that! And – thank you for being honest about your anxiety and depression. It’s good to hear. I’m rooting for you. You’re awesome, and sort of my hero. <3

  81. Only you would be gracious enough do a book reading for fans outside of Costco.

    Glad you are feeling better.

    Sue recently posted My poor sick dog.

  82. So if we had a contest and we could makeover all Costcos to add or take away anything we love or hate. Every Costco would come with a Bloggess! And a bigger wine section. And maybe live dwarf goats, because who doesn’t want to buy one of those. The samples they hand out would all be filet mignon and ice cream.
    I would shop there a lot more often.

    Mary recently posted Coppola Red Label Zinfandel.

  83. DANG! I didn’t stick around the Costco long enough after I got my book signed. Probably just as well… it was xanax time for me (I forgot to pill up before I left to stand in line and those situations get me worked up into a cold sweat and heart palps)… and I’d ordered a pizza to go for my boys as soon as I got in line… which was too early, so they got cold pizza. But it was SO worth it to meet you.

  84. Glad you are feeling better!

  85. I’m glad you’re back! I hope you rested well, dear one xx

    nat recently posted Topsy Turvy.

  86. Do more tours! You were in Chicago the day after I left.then in Cali the day I had anaphalectic shock so……I missed you twice….boo hoo! I would have loved the Costco outdoor reading :)

    opinion8dhermit aka g davies recently posted I need a hospital "visit ten get one visit free"card.

  87. Finally got to the top of my library’s waiting list and am about 1/3 through the book. Only problem is I keep going into this silent convulsive laughter thing when I’m reading it on the train, and I think the people around me might think I’m dry heaving or something.

    The.Book.Is.Awesome. And so are you!

  88. So glad we saw you in Houston and my daughter asks about the time we went to that store that had the awful thing written on the dumpster. (go inside now and look at the children’s books, honey. Mommy needs to laugh and be irreverent)

  89. Love your book so much I bought it for my mother for Mother’s Day, with the message, ” Trust me.”

    Sorry I missed your tour but I’m glad you’re recovering ok. Thank you for the book. Really.

  90. I am SO going to buy that shirt! And in Sharpie silver pen, going to write, planned to see Jenny Lawson in Denver – but depression/bipolar disorder/PMDD kicked my ass that day… just like it did yesterday. So glad you’re doing much, much better now, Jenny. xo

    Lillian recently posted Today's The Day.

  91. Did that woman with the ridiculously large cart ever figure out what was going on?

    Stephen Battey recently posted New Glasses, MSG & Aspartame — Bring on the headaches!.

  92. I love you. Fer reals. Thanks for existing.

  93. I’m so sorry I didn’t get to attend any of your readings or signings. But I love love love the book and this site and you (but not in a weird stalker way, just in a Lawsbian, platonic, you-don’t-have-to-worry-about-me-staring-in-your-windows kind of love). So glad you had amazing turnouts at all your stops! Maybe I’ll be able to make the next tour. At the very least, I promise to keep buying your books if you promise to keep writing them.

  94. Hahaha, Tiffany! “I think we’re alone now…The beating of our hearts is the only sound…” Totally fits.

    Mom In Two Cultures recently posted Dear TOMS.

  95. ugh i soo wish i was able to see you on your tour!! But i only discovered your book a month ago! I now love all things Jenny Lawson!!! I love the reading in the parking lot! way to keep it real! lol!

  96. I love you so much I accidentally bought your book twice…once on kindle and again in paper when I forgot I got kindle. Then I got it on audible to indoctrinate office workers.

    I am very happy you are feeling better.

    ~M~

    Morgaine Fey recently posted Sparking a Conversation.

  97. Congratulations! Also, thank you for using the word “sick” to describe your depression. I get tired of people not recognizing this as a real illness.

    Heretic Husband recently posted If God is for us, how dare you be against us!.

  98. So out of all the stops on your tour, the only one I’m seriously jealous of is the one in the Costco parking lot. Because somehow, that is just so wrong that it’s right. I’m glad you feel better. :-)

    Rebeccah recently posted When A + B Does Not = C.

  99. oh jenny jenny jenny. you make me happy and sad all in one post. i figured you were depressed because i go away when i’m depressed. hide. isolate. and then wonder why i feel so lonely. depression is a liar and a thief.

    at first i was like, how can jenny be depressed – her dreams have come to fruition. i’ve been to a book signing – i see the love in the room for you.

    but then i remembered, depression has nothing to do with our dreams and achieving them doesn’t remove it. only time. and for me medication and lots of support.

    keep blazing that trail. i hope to start my book tour in the next couple of years and will remember this great lesson.

    sending love and hugs.
    simone

    Simone recently posted What makes a great mentor?.

  100. Toaster strudels and your book? Sounds like the perfect event!

    Becky recently posted Schooled on Supplies.

  101. The Costco “TIRE SALES” impromptu reading photo is absolutely awesome. I’m a Portland resident, but very sadly, I wasn’t there.

  102. I want you to know that I got a letter of Scolding from the SWTOR community for responding to a chat message about a giant chicken with the reply “knock, knock, mothafucka,” and it’s ALL my own fault.

    MMOs, as near as I can tell, are like Victor, but without the redeeming, cuddly, warm, indispensable bits.

  103. I would have loved to be there! Sadly, I live very very far away.

  104. I’m so glad to see that you’re feeling better!! I wish that I could have come out to see you but I want you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed your book and I can’t wait to see more material from you in the future!! Have a great holiday weekend!!!!

    Alicea recently posted This is most definitely an adult book!.

  105. Yay! So glad you are on the mend. And I am so bummed that I missed the Chicago tour…had I known about it at the time I would have loved to have gone. I was the first person to take the book out of my library…I put it on hold before they even had their copy in. It will be on my Christmas list now. You rock!!

  106. I am so happy for you! I so wish I could have come to your tour. I almost drove all the way to the Toronto one but I think I would have lost my job if I did. Stupid work, expecting you to show up.

    Tanya recently posted She Doesn't Want my Kidney... UPDATED.

  107. You were great in Toronto. Can’t wait for your next book so you can come again :D

    Ashley recently posted Awkward: Being an Only Child.

  108. You inadvertently left Little Rock Arkansas off the list of stops. Can you correct the shirts before I order one?

  109. Glads you are doing better & so happy for the tour! Love the reading in front of the store, that is just awesome! You can come read at our Thanksgiving celebration in San Angelo– you are invited, you can read in the room w the creepy deer walking out of the wall (your dad made that one) Of course your parents are invited, your sister, your daughter & Victor, too! Come see how messed up our family is & get material for your new book, My cousin Terry will never disappoint. In fact we play “white trash, republican, racist bingo”…everytime someone does or says something that is “”white trash, republican or racist” you say bingo & take a gulp of beer!

  110. I’m so very sad that I missed seeing you in Portland I would have worn a hat, just to make it a bit more like a Debbie Gibson concert.

    Shannon recently posted Why Wednesdays? – Why I Run, Reason #1: Stress Relief.

  111. Every time a look at my shoe I’m reminded that I’m not alone. Thank you for giving me that!

  112. So glad you’re feeling better! The reading in front of the Tire Sales sign… I think my heart just grew three sizes!

    Katie recently posted Confession Friday: It’s About To Get Mushy.

  113. I AM SO SO SO SO SAD we had to leave right after you signed our books! We had such a long drive home to Vancouver and I was going to camp with 200 little girls the very next morning for a whole week!

    It was so great to meet you, victor and Copernicus and I was so glad we crazy stalker waited and got to be first in line! YAY US!! I made sure, on the way to camp, I read parts of the book to all the adults on the bus, made them bookmark your blog and told them where to go buy the book!

    Best Weekend EVER!!! I am so glad you are feeling better and look forward to more hilarity!

    Tara Wasney recently posted I got to meet Jenny Lawson and COPERNICUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  114. I just want to thank you for making my days at work a little bit better. You always make me laugh, which is what I need sometimes when I am getting depressed. So…thank you.
    I’m sorry you’ve been going through it the last couple of weeks. I hope it is lifting.

  115. The thought of having to do book tours is the main reason I haven’t written a book. I’m full of admiration that you can do it.

  116. Do tours that is, although also admire you wrote a book…and an excellent one at that.

  117. You are one awesome and gracious woman.

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted Azure Fusion Bistro and Sake.

  118. I LOVE your book. Reading it felt like talking to a friend…if I had any friends who were as (awesomely) unbalanced as I am that is. I mean that as a compliment.

    Meg recently posted It's Just a River in Egypt.

  119. Wish I could have seen you at one of your stops. I was so excited to get your book and knew I would love it! I decided to read a chapter a day to extend the experience. I think I was able to get to five days and then did a reading marathon.

    Glad you’re feeling better. Keep taking care of yourself. And thanks to you and everyone who mentioned them because toaster strudels are now firmly planted in the craving part of my brain.

    Maureen recently posted Sunday Quotes: Self-respect.

  120. I’m so excited to be Internet famous! I’m in the Costco picture. I loved your reading, and it was such a joy to meet you. Thank you for risking so much to tour all over. You gave all of us so much happiness. I am glad that you are doing better.

  121. Although we’re broke, In hopes it cheers me up… in lieu of meds & MD care I cannot afford… I treated myself to the maroon t-shirt. *hurry up and get here*

    Lillian recently posted Today's The Day.

  122. I always hate it when you do a post when I’m at lunch because then I’m like 110 comments down and no one is going to click on my plushie romney commentluv and I probably won’t win him and it’s all your fault Jenny.

    You should really check to see where I am before you post. <3

    Actually, commentluv won't even pick up my post. IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

    (PS: I am really glad you're feeling better, and I loved your book.)

  123. I don’t think I’ve jumped to Zazzle so fast before. So can’t wait to have this shirt in my wardrobe.

    Kara recently posted Fall is in the air….

  124. Seeing you in Austin was one of the highlights of my summer! Your Costco reading reminds me of when I read to my kindergardeners, except you’re allowed to swear more and that makes me super jealous.

    Amanda recently posted mixing red wine with white to make it taste better and other million dollar ideas I get while gchatting.

  125. 126
    Michael Weil

    My involuntary response to your impromptu parking lot reading was “Oh my God, that’s awesome!” You’re probably one of the few authors that would do something like that, so thanks for being awesome. I’m so glad I was able to see you on your tour!

  126. Am I the only one that thought of Jesus when I saw that picture of you doing a reading in the parking lot?

    Even the snow tire lady fits in, because I’m pretty sure that while hippy Jesus was preaching love and shit, some random Jewish woman walked by all like “Who is this dude, and why are all these people sitting and listening to him? And where in the fuck are the rainy season camels?

    Christine recently posted HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS! (Canine Related).

  127. The picture of the reading in the parking has to be one of the most beautiful you’ve ever posted.

  128. Ummm. Toaster strudels.

    tokenblogger recently posted Like you even knew….

  129. Hey! I’m in that first pic! It was fantastic meeting you, Jenny. And I’m very glad you’re feeling better. <3

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  130. I was SO happy to see you in Toronto!! You were hysterical, it was an awesome evening. Sadly my phone died literally as I got to your table, so I didn’t get to take a picture with you (devastating), but I’ll always have the memory of that poor girl just trying to find the Indigo exit, overhearing the snippet of your reading when you said “…’I HAVE DIARRHEA! From AIDS!’ because I thought that would discourage a rapist…”, and everyone laughed, and she ran faster. Good times.

  131. We love you and we’re glad you’re feeling better. Depression sucks and you never know when the pit will open up under your feet (speaking from experience) but if you can remember to hold on and that one day it will better, you’ve won most of the battle alreay.

  132. Please please please come to England. Even if it’s not for a tour, just come and let me know when so I can find you and get you to sign my copy! But not in the next 12 months because I’m going to Africa.

  133. You do have fans in Hawaii who would love to host a reading at the Kailua-Kona Costco. I haven’t gotten permission yet but just let me know when you are coming and I will see what I can do.

  134. Jenny, we love you! You are the Queen of our tribe.

    Anne Dodd recently posted Romney, Ryan and Ritchie Rich.

  135. ???? That Costco pic killls me. It’s like a scene from a new “Suburbia”, but 50,000,000,000 times better.

  136. YAY!!!! Welcome back to the land of the living. We missed you and I sure hope that your stay in Seattle wasn’t what caused your downward spiral.

    Actually? I blame Victor…I bet he didn’t give you the warm welcome that you had grown accustomed to while on tour and coming home was a total let down. THANK GOD HALEY WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I love you, my little puddin’ pop.

    ~Love, Carm

    Carm recently posted Hello? Yes, I’d like to sell my kidney so my kid can get braces, please..

  137. I really wish I could have come …. hopefully you’ll come to Canada… cuz we all love you up here!

    Jaime recently posted the past is behind us....

  138. I think you should add to the T-shirt – next to Seattle:

    “Seattle: The city that fucked me up.”

    I’d buy like 30 of them.

    Carm recently posted Hello? Yes, I’d like to sell my kidney so my kid can get braces, please..

  139. Costco rules – if you’re not a self-published author! They treat self-published authors like something you would find on the bottom of your shoes….
    You want to talk depression? My book barely has a PULSE, never mind still being on the NYT list after 4 months! NO ONE outside of my little home in the Niagara region gives a fuck about my work; of course, I know they have no reason to in the first place, but COME ON! “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” describes my entire writing career so far…
    I tell you what, Bloggess, I have a proposal for you: come up with some kind of crazy stunt for me to pull – short of breaking any laws, I’ll do WHATEVER you want – and I’ll do it, providing you review my book and give me your honest opinion and a blurb.
    I don’t expect you’ll see this or respond, but if you do, get creative and give The Hook a challenge worthy of the reward, okay?

  140. I hope you get some well-deserved rest after your whirlwind book tour!! I loved seeing you in Atlanta, but am really envious of your Costco listeners on the sidewalk!

    Ellen recently posted My Grandmother had a Pet Raccoon.

  141. I was number 5 in the Costco line. we hung out in the dairy section to cool off and wait for the 200+ people to have their book signed by you.
    then we sat in the parking lot and listened to your story.
    thanks for be so damn awesome!

  142. This makes me wonder if your book is available in MY local Costco – in St, Louis! Since I’m a member I’m going to have to check it out…. or get it on my nook. I hope it’s available on the nook!

  143. First of all good to hear your feeling better. I’ve had weeks like that myself. They suck. Second of all. YAY for books by the pallet. Which reminds me I still need to either get my copy back from my girlfriend, or buy her a copy and keep it for myself.

  144. I’m glad you are starting to feel better. After seeing that picture with SO MANY people waiting for their book to be signed I can see why you ended up so exhausted. My introverted self is hiding under a rock for you. Talk about overwhelming. It’s wonderful to be popular, but I am sure it takes a toll too.

    Love the reading in the parking lot. I can imagine your fans (sitting on the concrete) love you even more for it!

    Lily from It's A Dome life recently posted PBS Follows Me Back On Google+.

  145. Glad you’re feeling better! Wish Kansas City could have been on your tour – maybe next time? LOVE the parking lot reading…

  146. I was at the Portland signing, and you were fabulous! Glad you are feeling better :)

  147. I am so glad you’re feeling better!

    I’m also very, very happy I got the chance to meet you. You were every bit as delightful in person as I knew you’d be.

    Karen Peterson recently posted Flashback Friday: Those Tricksy Reporter Types.

  148. I wish I hadn’t been living under a rock for so long. Would have loved to come see you do a reading in a mall. (I never did get to see Tiffany or Debbie Gibson.)

    Chrissy recently posted My First Communion.

  149. What this picture fails to capture is the bewildered look on the faces of the employees in the tire shop.

    Also that’s me on the far right crouching next to the fiancee! Internet famous!

  150. We’re kindred spirits, you and I. I was so sick when I came to the signing in Portland….not contagious sick don’t worry. But meeting you made me feel so much better. When are you coming back? I need another dose. Better yet, just move here so I can stalk appropriately. And thank YOU for being so awesome!

    Bailey recently posted Favorite Pins Of The Week *Mental Illness Addition* Post 100!.

  151. http://stream-journal.blogspot.com/2011/02/blog-post.html

    I saw this and immediately thought of you.

    1) Hunter S. Thomcat
    2) Offering of either cat or husband
    3) Jennifer

    However, this made me sad because I thought Victor was trying to make you get rid of HST. So I rushed over here to make sure this was in fact not the case.

    It is not.

    Everything is fine.

  152. 153
    Amber Mackey

    My friends and I were thrilled to see you in Toronto- and now I know close up what you sound like, so I now read your blog with your voice in my head.

  153. I just found out about you because of your book (I guess I am new) and love this place. I spent way too many hours reading old posts and am looking forward to getting my copy of your book.

    Gina_AcuteDesigns recently posted OMG.

  154. I LOVED seeing you in Portland. Tee Shirt has been ordered! :)

  155. Crazy stuff, huh; thinking all those people are showing up for you?

    Do you think you generally meet people’s expectations of the IRL you; or do people walk away knowing you are much more awesome in the flesh? Not flesh like in no clothes on kind of way, but face to face conversation…………..just wanted to clarify that……..

    I’m ticked you didn’t make it to Central Florida; probably because none of that stuff you write about would be weird to a native Floridian.

    Good luck on your continued journey.

    Bill Dorman recently posted The mother of all lists; the list of One.

  156. It was wonderful to meet you in Seattle and to hear you read one of my favorite chapters. It is almost as much fun to hear someone scream inappropriate things in a bookstore as it is to be the one screaming them!! I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. **Hugs**

  157. Oh… shit… I just came here to find snow tires.

    And Toronto isn’t in a state! It’s the home of the worst hockey team ever, in the armpit of Ontario!!
    ;-)

    hehe.

    ++++=====+++++

    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted Day One Cross Country Canada.

  158. Congrats. Your book is absolutely hilarious, and I’m so thrilled for you.

    yetisaurus recently posted Israel Needs Hooker-Related Advice, Apparently.

  159. You are the awesomest kind of awesome and we all adore you!

  160. 161
    Auntie Cail

    Girl, don’t you know that you have our backs over and over and over again? Because you do. You keep us real and support us and make us laugh and feel less alone and bring this tribe together as a thing of strength, not weakness. It’s no big deal for us being the ones to watch your back every now and then.

  161. I am so happy a friend posted a link to your blog just as your book was released. I could relate to so much in your story – as I read it on a plane laughing so hard people were looking at me funny.
    We lived in “town” but sometimes dad forgot, we had a NEW cattle tank as a swimming pool in our backyard. One time in high school I came home from work to find dad and his friend butchering chickens in the garage, yes there were headless chickens running around the car at 10:30 at night.
    SO SO much more that I could relate, but this is your blog.
    I’m glad you’re feeling better – depression SUCKS monkey butt!

    Shari recently posted Picture Day!.

  162. You can do a book reading on the intercom in my heart.

    Melissa recently posted Therapy is fab, you guys.

  163. Aww, we missed the reading! (We were headed to a campsite by then.)

    It was totally fun seeing you in Costco though: got my book signed, my Beyonce signed… and bought a box of Rubbermaid containers in a different colour than what they sell up here in Canada! Bonus. :p

  164. those are the luckiest 6 people in that COSTCO parking lot! can’t believe they got a private reading :) i discovered you after you came to Houston, or else i would have totally been there.

  165. you should change the front of the shirt. you were in toronto, therefore you have changed the world “one state ( or province)” at a time!
    PLEASE :D

  166. Thank you thank you thank you for coming to Portland! It was amazing! You complimented me on my dress and I told you about the time I stepped on the same rattlesnake twice. It was magic.

  167. I wanted to go to your Portland signing SO BAD, but my stupid brother-in-law got married on the same day. How selfish could he get??

    Julia recently posted Some Days.

  168. 169
    Jacquilynne

    I saw you in Toronto, Jenny, (red dress, front row, made unfortunately rude comments about Stephenie Meyer) and it made my whole freaking week. I was so thrilled to be there, and so thrilled to find the line to see you positively brimming with other awesome, hilarious women. It’s a testament to how fantastic you are that your fans are fantastic.

  169. I wish you would come to Albuquerque, NM. SIGH. I <3 YOU!!!

  170. Are you kidding me? THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your joys, your crazies, your fears, laughter, and tears with us. How many people would push themselves into a state of exhaustion for their fans? THAT’s a SPECIAL kind of crazy.
    Glad you’re feeling better. *grin*

    Chris Dean recently posted Confused Yet Slightly Intrigued.

  171. “I am so damn lucky that such an amazing community has my back. ”

    We have your back because you are awesome and open in a way most of us wish we could be. You say the things we wish we could and DO the things we wish we could.

    We have your back because you deserve it.

    Matthew Miller recently posted breakfast face.

  172. Oh my gosh! I seriously think I know that confused woman. I live in Seattle and she lives farther north. Going to email her stat to see if I’m right! Glad you’re back on your feet!

  173. That photo is strangely compelling and kinda beautiful in it’s own way. And I’m so glad I saw you at that very Costco. Good times, Jenny. Good times.

    Your best gay Mormon therapist friend,

    Josh Weed

    The Weed recently posted Viva Fashionista.

  174. Really? In “it’s” own way?

    All my former English students are laughing at me right now.

    The Weed recently posted Viva Fashionista.

  175. This is one of those moments where you look at a comment you’ve left and think “ARGH? What was I thinking? I should never be allowed on the internet again.” I blame all the caffeine and to have been mildly freaked out by going to Costco over here and not realising that people bought storage heaters and pickled onions in those kinds of quantities.

    Anyway, I came back because I have a question. I know you’re exhausted from the US tour (I have anxiety and depression as well, so I totally understand where you’re coming from). I’m curious to know whether you’d consider doing a UK tour?

    It would be so awesome to have you over here, when you’ve recovered. xx

    Joely recently posted WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?.

  176. 177
    Slummy McMummy

    Please come to Scotland sometime soon. It’s a lot like Texas but a bit wetter and without the guns and scary wildlife.

  177. You are my idol.

    Mom Off Meth recently posted Well...football again..

  178. I want to take a moment to share something with you……..You have an impact far wider than you even know…think about this the next time you are feeling low……..I work in a hospital as a respiratory therapist. I work in the ICU and the ER most frequently. Many attempted suicide patients have crossed my path recently. Besides praying for them (unbeknownst to them, of course) I have shared your message with them when they wake up. I tell them “Depression Lies” and not to believe those lies and that there is someone out there who cares and I refer them to your blog. I had one woman in particular who broke down into tears and told me a few of those lies. I wonder if anyone ever empowers these people to just say no to the lies that are being told in their heads. I feel like I am called to take care of people and I remember how I felt the first time I read that line “Depression Lies”. WOW…..something so simple can be be so freeing……..Thank you, both for helping me and for helping me help others……BIG HUG…your neighbor in New Braunfels…..Cat :]

  179. You are probably one of the funniest bloggers EVER!:D I love reading your blog posts (My mom won’t let me read the book yet…I hate being only 14..) but I want to read it soon! I think you reading the book in the parking lot of the Tire Sales place was awesome, especially with the random lady on the side who was looking at you like ‘….WTF?’ I also read your post ‘I’m probably going to hell for this one’ to my friend over the phone, and we both started laughing histerically! I can’t wait till your next post! :D
    ~Lillia

  180. The Costco patio reading picture is absolutely adorable and wonderful.

  181. I am sad I missed all the book signings, but I am glad you are back so I can enjoy your blog posts again, and not the old blog posts (which I totally loved, so don’t kick me out because I am being unappreciative, I just really like new blog posts because they are awesome).

    And thanks you that last line you threw in about this amazing community having you back, because I cried. Well, just got choked up, but still, it was totally touching.

    GinaP recently posted Reunion Blues, Pt. 2.

  182. Story time for grown ups. How awesome is that????

    Bridget recently posted When it is not funny and never will be funny…..EVER.

  183. Australian book tour, please?!

  184. I remember creating a site on gURLpages when I was in college in the late 90s. They weren’t called blogs then but I wanted to write about being bisexual and pagan because no one I knew was both. I didn’t have a group. I kept it going for a few years but I couldn’t keep up with college work, replying to bible thumpers with proof that most Christians mention a lesbian love affair from the Bible during their marriage ceremonies, and dealing with girls who wanted to have sex with me because they suddenly became bi-curious after their boyfriends wanted a three-way. And my depress and anxiety. I had started a lot of bipagan groups around the internet and felt I pulled people together enough that I could go hide in the dark of my bedroom.

    So I found you and I started reading your blog backwards. In my reality, all the people who have died in your life have come back to life. Miracle of miracles, they are resurrected. I get to find out that there will be a giant metal chicken and I just can’t wait to meet him. My desktop background is a photo of you holding a sloth as a reminder that there are moments of pure joy. It is just far too American an idea that we live in happiness constantly. I may be willing to stab the next jerk to cross my path but I might also come across a sloth to cuddle. Who knows what might happen next? This is what I tell myself when I want it all to end.

  185. I’m so glad you are feeling better. I just finished your book yesterday. I loved it isn’t quite strong enough. Are you part Gypsy at all by chance, because I think there is a good chance you could be one of my relatives. Can’t wait for the second one.
    -Gina-

    Gina recently posted Salted Caramel on Mocha, Espresso Buttercream Cupcakes - Topped with Macarons.

  186. I’m glad you’re feeling better!

  187. oh what I would give to be sitting underneath that tire sales sign of that Costco, magical. Your book is awesome and so glad to hear your feeling better!

    Nickie recently posted If I make it through this weekend I will deserve a friggen gold medal.

  188. Book readings in discount supermarket parking lots! Is that a thing? We should make that a thing!

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted Break out the hand sanitiser....

  189. Book tour in Australia, please?!

  190. “I remember creating a site on gURLpages when I was in college in the late 90s.”

    That should say mid-90s. Sheesh.

    Also, I wish I could have come to your tour stop in Chicago or Minneapolis but I would have had to take off work and I don’t have PTO. I suck as a minion. How about another book tour to “smaller towns” with cool bookstores like Madison, WI?

  191. If it helps, I’ve already decided that a lot of people on my list are getting your book for Christmas. Only the lucky ones, of course.

  192. OMG! I am on your Blog! :) A picture of ME! I feel kind of famous! hee hee..I was at the Portland reading…fantastic :)

  193. No, Jenny. We are the lucky ones. We are lucky to have all found you and each other. So glad to see you back. Hugs.

    Gigi recently posted A peek into married life after the chick has abandoned the nest.....

  194. Pure awesome, love the intimate reading the parking lot. Glad you’re doing better now. Of course, better is a relative term.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  195. Can you buy Xanax in bulk at Costco and what would that be like on free sample day. I’ve been to Costco during a busy free sample day and I think the two definitely go hand in hand. Your book is awesome! Keep up the good work help, need readers! (will settle for illiterate ones!)

  196. Glad you’re feeling better.

    I had my 95-year-old grandma read some of your book a few days ago. She might not be able to drive or walk so well anymore…but she couldn’t stop laughing at your stories.

    She might be your oldest fan.

    Ashley recently posted I'm funny in Brazil but not Switzerland.

  197. I’m so glad you’re feeling better Jenny. Like you recently, I’m currently stuck in a rather big depression hole. However your book is making me laugh. And I keep laughing even when I want to hide under chairs in the doctors surgery during a panic attack.

    In short, you rock.

    You know what would be awesome? If you did a book tour over here in the UK! I bet loads of people would come!!

    Sam recently posted I Just Totally Made Up A Word To Describe How I'm Feeling.

  198. Thank you for leaving an entire pallet of signed books at Costco! I missed your signing, but while shopping saw your book. Thanks for signing them. My husband and I can’t wait to read it.

  199. 201
    Lynne Thomas

    I was THERE! It was fun, I met so many great people, I saw beautiful Jenny, and I got out of Costco without spending $200. I already had the book on my iPhone Kindle app so I bought two for friends. My husband, who actually HAS a Costco card, told Jenny he loved her because she was “batshit crazy”. That’s why he loves me, too. I was there, Jenny, and felt so honored to share my Costco with you.

  200. While I was unable to attend your reading in Tempe, AZ I was there in spirit. I love your book (so I’m reading it again) and your blog. Hang in there- You are wonderful!!

  201. Costco looks fun! Thanks for coming to Oregon, although I’m a little ticked at Powell’s for making me go to Beaverton.

  202. Phoenix loved you! (Or at least I did, and I speak for the ENTIRE CITY.)

  203. Jenny,

    You always write about these fits you have, whether they are with anxiety or depression or both. You always talk about coming back from the other side of them. Like they last a certain period of time, and then they end and you just go into survival mode preparing yourself for the next one. Well my fit that I’m in has lasted, so far, for two months now. The fact that I still have a friend left, a job to support me, and a boyfriend by my side; these things blow my mind with the way I’ve been acting. I am crying so often that the skin around my eyes can barely be called skin. It is withering away from overuse, overstress. And how many times can one person hear, “I’m Scared” or “I’m sad” before they just don’t care anymore.

    I guess I just wanted to know, when do you know it’s going to get better again? Even in these long bouts? Is there a feeling? The kind of feeling where you say “Yes! Finally! It’s about time!” And, alternately, when do you just give in and go back to the medication that you’ve fought so hard to stay off of? The medication that never seems to be working when you’re on it, but compared to this feeling, should have been considered the elixir of life.

    You talk about needing a good doctor, which I don’t have. I have a psychiatrist and she does not understand the fine art of empathy. And she changes around my medication like I’m a walking pharmacy. None of this is good for the mind. But therapists are a bit out of my budget right now so I only have drugs to turn too.

    I guess I just need some help. It feels like my entire life is falling apart, I have this incredible urge to run away from everything but I have nowhere to go that would make what I’m feeling inside go away. I just want to know that it gets better.

    Lauren recently posted The Love Story of Lillian and James.

  204. You are an amazing woman that deserves to be supported! I’m just sorry that I was too busy gestating in the middle of effing no where America that I couldn’t travel to see you, and there’s never been a book tour in the history of ever where I live!

    Kelly recently posted The Awkward Hug.

  205. The Tour T-Shirt says you were in Los Angeles. WHEN WERE YOU IN LOS ANGELES?? HOW DID I MISS YOU??
    Sigh. Oh well. Just bought your book and telling everyone about it!

  206. 208
    Patricia Calef

    I loved the picture outside at costco. Just when I was thinking to myself, I like the woman at the left of the picture just staring, I read your caption. LOL. You make me laugh. And keep my life from being so depressing.

  207. 209
    E M Foster

    The book reading at Costco is awesome; completely and totally awesome. I just can’t say that enough. I finished your book today. I got it yesterday afternoon and couldn’t read fast enough. I probably could have read faster, but the stopping to laugh so hard I cried and nearly peed myself kinda slowed me down. Please promise you’re working on book #2!! The world needs your book!! (I can’t claim that quote. That’s something Chris Baty says or used to say during NaNoWriMo to convince people that it’s not crazy to write a 50,000+ word novel in 30 days.) :-D

  208. You did a reading in the parking lot of MY COSTCO and I missed it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That’s it, you have to come back to Seattle and chillax with me. And I need some serious chillax – make sure to bring extra xanax for me.

  209. We totally have your back!

    (and like EM Foster above me, I’m also waiting for your next book! ;) )

    Jen recently posted Elka, now and for the future (400th post!).

  210. Your reading in the Costco parking lot is the most endearing thing I’ve seen in weeks. I am so glad you’re you.

  211. I’m in that picture! This is the coolest thing ever! I’m approximately three pixels tall, but I’m on your blog, and that totally, totally made my day. And I’m currently wearing the shirt you signed, so I’m in this wonderfully Bloggess-saturated pocket of the Universe. It’s snuggly and delightfully crazy in here.

  212. It was totally awesome to see you in person in Denver. You are my heroine. (Not to be confused with heroin, because I don’t want heroin and also, you don’t look like heroin. And I don’t do drugs. Well, not those drugs, anyway. My effexor is MINE so back off, bitches! Man, this head cold really has gone to my head, hasnt it? I’ll shut up now.)

    Shawn Walter recently posted Whiny...It's me for a change.

  213. Portland, yay, my husband and I were there, way in the back, laughing our asses off. I’ve been a long-time fan, and he’s just now learning of your awesomeness, and we were both so delighted to make it there. Please don’t ever stop being you, you have a greater impact than you can even begin to imagine.

    Tiffany recently posted Snow Patrol in Concert.

  214. 216
    Kathy Prado

    You are an amazing woman!! So happy you are feeling better – sharing your day always makes mine better!!

  215. Toronto loved you. Come back with the next book? My husband so wants to come next time.

    Keri recently posted FO Friday – It’s Only a Little Late.

  216. You make me laugh and make me smile (shake my head in wonder at times too). But, in this day to day crap shoot….well that has great value. Keep it up! More power to you!!

  217. We love you, Jenny! Glad you’re feeling better.

    Shannon Fielding recently posted A Class Act.

  218. i found your blog after i treated myself to your book on my kindle, which is a big deal ’cause i’ve been so broke after having baby # 2 and not being able to work that i’ve been forced to read from the free book section for so long now that my brain is all mush, filled with loner teenage fairy girls who never knew they were magic (i guess the vampire market had been exhausted) and the new “bad boy” in their high school and all the “why me?”-ing that comes along with being a fairy. and i have also been wrestling with depression/add along with the constant fear of failing that comes with being a mom (that part is normal, right?) and i just wanted to say thank you for letting me feel not alone. and for saving me from young adult paranormal romance books. it was getting weird. i hope you feel wonderful soon and that you keep on feelin wonderful for a long time.

  219. Your book was amazing- I was constantly sending quotes to my friends. I even started an impromptu book trade, well not really trade- I sent them the book with a note that said “READ IT!”

    I wish I could have gone to a reading, darn you small (2nd largest) town in SD. Thanks for signing the book plates, at least I have that!

    PLEASE, write another book- there can be no way you are out of stories, and it’s worth the wait!

  220. I love that you were willing to read in the parking lot like that. You. Rock!

    Brenna recently posted Maybe this will save my TV.

  221. Dear Bloggess, thank you thank you thank you for helping others to find a tribe where they don’t feel like the odd one out. It’s great that there’s a place to hang out that doesn’t mean you have to leave the comfort of your home.
    I bought your book as an e-book, and I got to channel you doing a reading with other people who work in the HR field about your experiences of working in HR. Let’s just say that was a fabtastic day.
    Glad to hear you’re feeling better! Remember depression is lies!

  222. 224
    Holly (a.k.a. adoreprince)

    You Rock!
    Sometimes though, when I’m too lazy to comment (or can’t think of anything witty to say), I wish you had a “Kick Ass” button. That way, you could REALLY get the sense of how much we love you.

  223. Beautiful and haunting in the best possible way!

    Burns the fire recently posted Puppy Love 2: The Resurrection.

  224. I’m ashamed to admit that I pre-ordered your book and have not read it yet. I had a baby and got all distracted. Then I lent it to my friend who hasn’t returned it. I’m getting about 5 min a day to myself now and am ready to read it at about one paragraph a day, so I’m hoping to get it back soon! I hear it’s kind of good? ;)

  225. So happy for you! I’d be even happier if you had come to Cleveland ;) Maybe next tour?! The book is awesome!!

  226. I regret completely that I did not get to go see you because of nursing school. I am looking forward to the next book and the next tour though! Perhaps I’ll sneak my copy of this book in to be signed as well! ;D

  227. I totally agree that you need a “You ROCK” button. Most of the people who comment here do too. This is one huge collective of weird, funny shit you’ve got going. Thank you.

    Robin recently posted I’m a Camel!!.

  228. At a CostCo?! Toaster strudel samples?!! Reading in the parking lot under the ‘SNOW TIRES’ sign?! Shoot, that looks like a good time. Remember what you told me (and lots of other people) once: Depression Lies!

    Also, I ever so humbly request that you post a few pictures of Hunter S Tomcat for those of us who rely heavily on photos of pets being weird and weirdly cute at the same time to get us through dark hours. Please & Thanks.

  229. Loved ya in San Diego Jenny. You were great.

  230. No, thank YOU for doing this book tour. I can’t imagine how draining it must have been, but you didn’t let that show at all. You were AWESOME and so much fun — I’m still telling people what an amazing time I had.

    SarahB recently posted My Brush with Greatness.

  231. See you go out of the city limits of Seattle and you end up in a parking lot of a Costco. We’ve all been there.

  232. I could serioulsy kick myself for not jumping in the car when I had convinced my husband that life as he knew it would cease to exsist if I couldn’t go to your book signing when it was in San Francisco. Unfortunately, MY anxiety won that day and I hid under my bed instead. But I was there in spirit! Too bad my fuckin’ spirit didn’t get a shirt or book signed while it was there!! That bitch! I need a new spirit.

    Glad to hear you are back in ass kickin’ action, chick. <3

    Tracey aka KidLit! recently posted Help Others, Yes. But Know Your Limitations..

  233. Your book is damn awesome. Congrats on it!

    Cheryl D. recently posted OMG! How Time Flies!.

  234. It was wonderful seeing you in Portland. My Sweetie only came along to wrangle my Scooter. Instead of Getting lost in the SCI/FI section he stayed for your reading and Loved it. He is in the Front Row in your Portland Picture. A friend from Vegas saw the Pic and asked about him. You are always welcome in Portland. You are our Kind of Weird.
    I am glad you are feeling better and as one reader suggested , give your self a break about having the Down Swing in your Mood. It always happens to me after any big thing(even great things) the energy you build up to get you through the event is suddenly gone and CRASH. if you expect that it is natural for it to happen like that it my make it easier because you aren’t seeing it as afailure, its just what happens.
    PolySammo

  235. Welcome back!
    Thanks for posting the pic of the Portland/Beaverton Powells stop. It was funny to see my dorky, expectant face. I am sorry we overwhelmed you with our admiration and affection. You really should poll your crowds (as we did informally whilst waiting) whether we are blog or book dorks. Thankfully I bought your book (they did sell out at Powells but I’m an agressive bword) and now I understand your love of taxidermy is biological. You see, that was going to be my question, as in, “I am deeply entertained by taxidermy, how do you suggest I go about creating my own menagerie?” Now that I’ve read a few pages of your book, I understand it’s in your blood. But why must you bogart all of the very best items (see: Juanita & Jean-Louise)? And kudos to you on opening your heart to Mr. Hunter S. Tomcat–he really is darling. My own beloved feline companion, Pia, died 2, almost 3 fucking years ago but I miss her so terribly along with all of the joys of caring for an elderly feline that I haven’t crossed that bridge again. In fact, I am seriously considering a baby doggie (tacoterrier?) knowing one would at least french kiss me when I am lonely–cats tongues are too rough for frenching, just sayin.
    xo,
    T

  236. Love the book so so so much. Laughed so hard the dog jumped off the sofa and stared at me. Immediately insisted friends with similarly twisted senses of humor immediately buy the book. Immediately. Then here’s where it gets dangerous: I bought it for my mother in law. We’ll see how that goes. Thank you!!!!

  237. Jenny, it’s not just the US that has fallen in love with your book. Today, at the Art Gallery of NSW (major high falutin’ art gallery here in Sydney, Australia), a sweet young 20-something was walking around the gallery clutching your book. I soooo wanted to tell her that she’d enjoy every word and that it would be the Best Book Ever, but I lost her in the crowd. It would be so awesomely awesome if you could visit Down Under and do a book reading here. :)

    Adriana_G recently posted Procrastinate the Weekend Away.

  238. Fekking Wicked and Congratulations

  239. One of the big regrets of my life is that I was away on business when you were in Houston. However, I made it up by not only buying your book, buying two copies for friends.

    Yay for strong Texas women (i’m sort of from Odessa)

    Geek Goddess recently posted Parisian glass, or a Frenchman’s trash is my treasure.

  240. While surfing the web for Halloween decorating ideas, I came across this taxidermy goddess and thought of you.http://www.customcreaturetaxidermy.com/Site/INTRODUCTION.html

    You probably already know of her but just in case I wanted to point her out to you.

    Love your blog, been a reader for years. This is my first comment!
    Thanks for all the laughs at the right time!

  241. I bought your book online. Could I possibly mail it to you and have you sign it? Unless you are planning to come to south Florida anytime soon…

  242. HAhaha! I love how every other city got its name on the list… but Charlotte is just “North Carolina.” That’s…… pretty typical. Glad you’re feeling better!!

    Heather Head recently posted Look What I Found in the Henhouse.

  243. Proud to be one of the crazies with you!

    Red recently posted That Dumb Dog!.

  244. You are very welcome for the love and support. Your book was incredible, I could barely put it down! Keep trudging on!

    neverspeak recently posted The Quiet.

  245. I saw this ad on the best of Craigslist and thought of you :) I hope you enjoy.
    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/htf/2288729704.html

  246. The fact that Salmon, Idaho is not listed on your Tour Dates is just plain wrong. We have pallets here, too.

    wanderingthecdt recently posted The Back to School Edition.

  247. Notably, Montana is missing from the tour. Please put us on the list next time. We’re quite irreverent – and we have a Costco. Just sayin.

    Denise Malloy recently posted 50 Shades of A Real Mother.

  248. We’ll always have your back Jenny dear! :o) Many hugs and I’m glad you’re feeling better!

    Devon recently posted Fire In Ice by Devon Stewart.

  249. i can see my forehead in that picture

  250. Yes, Montana needs you! Me and Denise will be there, most likely. I’ll make enchiladas.

    JRose recently posted From Russia with Love.

  251. The Costco reading looks pretty kickass.

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Much love from the weird Internet people.

    Stacey recently posted Reality Check.

  252. You give me the encouragement and inspiration to write. It won’t be nearly as well-received as your book, probably. But I do need to get my story out there and seeing that you did it, pushes me to finish mine.

    Nikki Mohamed recently posted Self-Confident or Narcissist?.

  253. Last night I dreamed you were here doing a book signing, only you had us signing some kind of memory book for you. I’m going to feel stupid if this has already been suggested but if this is a new idea and you do it I want credit. (I think)

  254. Zomgs, I’m on your blog! Seriously, I’m there somewhere probably hiding behind the lady that swayed during the entire reading.
    Thanks for exhausting your vitality for us. I hope the Voodoo doughnuts revived you at least momentarily. I couldn’t love you anymore if you were entirely made of Cadbury mini eggs.

    Joules recently posted Happy Feet. And Other Assorted Body Parts.

  255. I think I see my sister-in-law in your portland picture!

  256. Thank you, once again, for making me feel like I am sane. My boyfriend of almost 4 years has trouble with the “why” of depression, and I have trouble explaining how there just is not a “why”.
    I tell him that I want to hibernate like a bear.
    Thank you for making mental health seem like an approachable, normal subject. For bringing into light the fact that even hilarious, successful and beautiful women like you suffer from it’s grip. Your blog continually brings together those who feel like they are lost and don’t belong.
    I am so glad I stumbled into your crazy world. It probably seems like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders with all of your adoring fans looking to you for laughter, hope, and reassurance. Remember that we understand your mental health, happiness, and family come first.

    Thank you for what you do. :)

  257. You are awesome and thanks for coming out to (near the) neighborhood. Also, I hate to disappoint, but nothing in your book offended me (which the book claims it will do); I’m pretty sure it’s because I am strange or something. :D

  258. I am happy to have your back at anytime!!!!!

    Judy, Judy, Judy recently posted Loved it. Will read her latest. But....

  259. I was at the Minneapolis reading. What was that bloggess lettered necklace you were holding up and that they took a picture?

  260. Jenny, you are awesome. Fucking awesome. Period. Full stop.

    That is all.

    Brian in Austin

    Brian recently posted Question of the Year.

  261. We are still talking about you here in Toronto. We love us some Bloggess!

    Whorrified recently posted THIS DISTURBING VISUAL COURTESY OF DOUG FORD.

  262. 264
    Not real name

    I have no hope of buying your book anytime soon, but I work part time at a public library. So, when I saw that I would have to wait two months for a dozen other people to read it before me, I asked my boss to order another copy, AND SHE TOTALLY DID! And I got to jump to the front of the hold line. Win-Win! I took it everywhere. Even to my daughter’s kindergarten orientation… where I became disruptive and had to put the book away. TRUE STORY!

  263. I wasn’t living in Dallas when you had the book signing here (I was nearer to Chicago).

    By the time you had a book signing in Chicago I had moved to…Dallas. AUGH.

    Someday I’ll get a signed copy durnit!!

    Liz the Insane recently posted Everybody Wants to Rule the World.

  264. Lady, you are my favorite kind of crazy. If I knew you in real life I’d… I’d… I don’t fucking know. You are fucking crazy. I’d probably hold your meds in one hand and your forehead in the other laughing “can’t get your meds, can’t get your meds!” But that would be mean. And totally uncalled for. And then you’d crotch punch me until I cried, cried uncle, cried until my eyes bled, cried “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor.

    I question your interrogation techniques. But admire them at the same time.

    Eric recently posted How to Keep Your Marriage Sane.

  265. I sympathize, depression is a bitch. Glad u feeling better and have found what works for you. I have chronic disease, mesenteric panniculitis, which is very like colitis. I know the crap feeling of having to stay home, dreading to have to explain to people why i cant go or why i hv to stay home-ugh!!!! Your book rocks, i esp love how u met victor. I also get panic attacks, aniexity- the point is, its nice to hv a place to go to where i can comfort u, and get comfort from the fact im not alone. Ok, i hope this is making sense! Lol

  266. So I didn’t remember that you had written a book or that it was so hugely successful. With this in mind, imagine my reaction when I was in Target buying a biography of Mick Jagger and saw, right next to it among the Best Sellers, a book by a BLOGGER! So naturally I shouted an obscenity that went along the lines of “No Fucking Way!” and was asked to leave Target shortly thereafter. But not before I grabbed her book and threw money at the cashier on my way out with security as my personal escort. I don’t usually buy hardbacks because I’m cheap, and I get most of my books used on Amazon, but since it was a fellow blogger and I knew the money was going to you I splurged. Now it’s sitting here beside me on the bed and I’m trying to pretend that I’m not jealous that you’re more successful and a lot funnier than me.

    Memphis Steve recently posted Machine Gunnin'.

  267. Hi. Just wanted to thank you for the great time I had reading your book. Looking forward reading your second one. And would like to inform that the cover of your book goes curly if exposed to humidity.

  268. If only you could have held story-time at my elementary school.

    Peter recently posted “My Mother Can’t Cook”.

  269. I will probably get hate mail in all likelihood. Eh, I don’t care.

    I had someone tell me about how depressed she is, but admit she doesn’t go for therapy, hasn’t done what her doctor advised as far as diet and exercise changes, and in fact has made no real changes in her life to try to help. And when I suggested that if her depression was bad, wouldn’t she feel motivated to do the things she needed to get better, she said the Bloggess understood you can’t beat depression. I said, I don’t think that is her intended message. And let’s be real, Jenny has a lot more mental health issues than simple depression. And she does take her meds and she does get help.

    Jenny feel free to write me hate mail too if I misrepresent you.

    For those that read that you message is that it’s okay to be depressed– you are reading it wrong. YOU ARE OKAY, even if you suffer from depression. BEING depressed is not okay. It destroys all quality of your life, it impacts your family and children and people who love you. It it horrible. And you are NOT okay if you do not fight it with every resource available to you, if you give it a chair to sit on, if you accept it. As soon as that wave passes, get up and get busy finding ways to stop it from coming again. YOU are okay. Depression is life robbing. Fight it. Never stop fighting.

    And here is where I, and research, utterly disagree with some of the undertones of your message. (And perhaps I am reading you wrong on this one?) Depression is not something that you should even slightly accept is coming back. Ever. Will it? Probably for a long time or forever if you do not make it the most important goal of your life to figure out how to stop it. Much less if you do. You do stand a good chance of beating it… not just surviving it, not just making it through, but actually beating it.

    This massive study showed that ONE HALF of those getting treatment can get over depression (and they only looked at drugs– not therapy, not exercise/life changes). The study looked at people not just with depression but also those with many other problems (which most studies excluded), btw.:::

    “These individuals have had an average of 16 years of depression. Two-thirds have other concomitant psychiatric conditions and two-thirds have concomitant general medical problems. All of these reduce the chances of remission.”

    Because most people go years without any treatment, or minimal ever, depression rates grow. Many just get some random drug their doctor pushes instead of evaluations to find the RIGHT one or ones they need. And sadly many just get pills without working on life changes that encourage mental health and physical healthy adjustments. The study states that if the people in their study “had received the kind of care that patients receive on average, the researchers said, the remission rate probably would have been significantly lower — perhaps even in the single digits.”

    Do not allow anyone, especially yourself, to beat up on you for having depression. But do not accept that it is a fact of your life that you cannot change. Depression can be beaten by most. But you have to work for it.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/22/AR2006032202450.html

  270. parking lot readings. awesome.

    monica recently posted In which I bake something gluten free..

  271. just finished crying, can’t get into my student e-mail acct. to do freaking homework, minor nervous breakdown. (yes, that’s what they are, let’s not soften the language.) immediately went to your site, one of the few things that i look forward to. Thanks again.

  272. I’m still upset that I couldn’t make your San Francisco signing due to a prior commitment to run a Dungeons and Dragons game that night, but at least I have my signed book plate to console myself with.

    Shella recently posted I Call Do-Over on August.

  273. Ah! In the parking lot! I’d like it if you came to the parking lot at my costco. Then I’d actually dare going to a costco.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted Day 10 - Hubby is TOTES ADORBS.

  274. Got any more of those signed book plates? Here’s my tale of woe: So I bought your book and signed up for a book plate which I promptly put on the book. Then my childhood friend that I had not seen in 35 years came for a visit and she loved your book so much I gave it to her. Now I’ve bought myself your audio book because I thought what a kick it would be to hear your read it. But the audio book did not arrive in time for the Portland book signing…. I would love a signed book plate for my audio book if you have any, you know, just lying around.

    Yours in ethically taxidermed adoration,

    Karen

    Karen Snow Drake recently posted Another Wildlife Habitat Bites The Dust.

  275. You inspire me.

    Be kind to yourself!

  276. Hi Jenny,

    Now that’s my kind of book reading. I’m not a huge fan of crowds. Glad you’re feeling better!!

    Totally off topic but did you watch the premiere of season 7 of Dr. Who last night. It was great!!

    Have a great long weekend,
    Kim

  277. Hi, I went to your book signing in Phoenix (with the haboob!! Soooo glad there was one that day for you to “experience”) and had a great time. Fun enough, I had breakfast today with a long time friend I hadn’t seen in awhile and she starts quoting me out of a book regarding towels and large metal chickens and I thought, “well, there’s only ONE book I know that’s talking about towels and large metal chickens at the front door that say, ‘Knock, knock mother fucker!!’ “. Your book is EVERYWHERE! Yay for you!!

  278. So so happy you’re feeling better! Can’t wait to read more posts!

    Becki Jolly recently posted Salmon Fishing In The Yemen: A Film About Hope and Faith.

  279. I am a big fan of Costco anyway but this would even make it better. Love the impromptu reading!

  280. Please come to Pittsburgh. Please.

  281. I just finished your book on audio and that book was HILARIOUS!!! Things I learned from this book.
    Thing #1 – Don’t drive while listening because it’s dangerous to be laughing that hard while in Southern California traffic. Thankfully I lived through it.
    Thing #2 – Don’t listen to this book in front of your son because you are wearing headphones and he is watching TV and all of a sudden you start laughing really hard and he looks at you like you have real issues. It continues to happen but then he films you with his iPhone but you don’t know it and he shows it to you later telling you that you were turning purple while laughing. I’m sure I wasn’t and was breathing the whole time I was reading it but apparently I worried him.
    Thank you Jenny for many hours of listening fun.

  282. Good to know you are feeling better!

    Mexmom recently posted Chit·chat-ing ... is that even a word?.

  283. Random comment: What are “snow tires”? Are these somehow different from regular tires?

    Love,
    A Native Floridian….who has only seen snow in the movies. Sigh.

  284. Dear Bloggess,
    I love your voice, love your book and love your fearless embrace of your humanity. Take care of yourself and remember that it is always ok to give away your blossoms, but not your roots. (save a little for yourself)

  285. My husband went to San Diego on a business trip for three days and left me at home with our four boys ages seven and under. The only reason that I didn’t divorce him when he got back is that he attended your reading and brought me back a signed book. Thanks for keeping our marriage together.

  286. 288
    object permanence blog

    Great post! I’d always rather laugh than buy tires.

    object permanence blog recently posted “And What a Time It Was”.

  287. It was so great to see you in Seattle! I wish we could have stayed for that kickass reading outside of Costco – how fun!!! We totally will next time.

    I hate that you felt so craptastic when you got home, but glad to hear you’re feeling better.

  288. I don’t think I realized quite how crowded Powell’s was until that picture. That night has been the highlight of my year. Got to meet you, got a signed book, showed you a picture of the penis shaped mushroom I found, and have a picture of Copurnicus the homicidal monkey with your wonderful clevage as a backdrop. Awesome.

  289. 291
    Tom Benedict

    I wept – I WEPT – when I saw the picture of you giving a reading outside of Costco. I wept because I’ve been going to the wrong Costco all these years!

    It doesn’t have to be a part of your book tour, but if you ever wind up out in Hawaii again, please let me know. I’ll gladly give you a tour if you promise to read. But not in the car. Not if it makes you motion sick or anything. That would be gross, not fun.

  290. I’m a new follower and so happy I found you! So sad I missed you in Chicago – but even more at CostCo! That has got to be the best reading ever!!! A-Maz-Ing!! You’re the best!

  291. Tires and toaster strudel with an impromptu reading by a NYT bestselling author. Stupid BJs never has those. (BJs is a warehouse store founded by Berkeley and Jensen, get your minds out of the gutter, people!)

    Linda recently posted Handbags for Heart.

  292. I was laughing like a mental patient by page 10! Nathan Fillion does NOT know what he is missing. Lucky for Victor.

  293. 295
    Rachel perry

    I’m so mad I found you after you came to NY and I missed you. At least I have your blog!

  294. Jenny,
    I was so glad to have met you at the Costco in Seattle! I had recently bought your book and my husband happened to see that you were going to be signing books a couple of days later near our home. I was ecstatic! OK, maybe not ecstatic, but very happy, anyway. I haven’t had a chance to show my BIMBOS your book signature, yet, but I know they’ll all be jealous. If you ever want to join a book club, you’d be a perfect fit for the BIMBOS: Beautiful, Intelligent, Maladjusted, Bookworms Of Seattle! If you ever do book group visits, we want to be on the top of the list!!!
    You make me laugh out loud every time I read your funny posts. I think you’re so brave for sharing all of your difficulties with everyone, too. I think you’re helping so many people.

    Keep doing what you do so well!

    Sue

  295. I’m totally butt-hurt that Las Vegas is not on the tour list. I shall hold my breath, stomp my feet, and make you come here to see us!! In three…..two….one…..

  296. 298
    Allison Burroughs

    I spy 6 men in that crowd of women. I am convinced that they are transgender and are actually women because only women are smart and cool enough to come to your book signing.

    That is all.

    Love you much and please write another book. I will preorder that one too ;)

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