Victor: Why did you put a wig on the cat?
me: Better question: Why do you always assume it’s me? I’m not the only one who lives here, you know.
Victor: Did you put a wig on the cat?
Hailey: Why would I put a wig on a cat?
me: This proves nothing.
Victor: You don’t have to get all defensive. I just don’t understand why you do shit like this, crazy cat lady.
me: I have a lot of very small wigs. I have a lot of very small cats. This math does itself.