STALEMATE

in Random Crap

Some days you just feel out-of-sorts, and then you notice an unexpected scene in your house and you realize you are in exactly the right life.

Don't blink.

220 thoughts on “STALEMATE”

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  9. I don’t watch Dr. Who (ducks flying objects aimed at head), but even *I* got that one. Sending it along to all my Whovian friends who will immediately be creeped the fuck out.

  16. Ahahahaha! That is fantastic! I’m pretty sure Santa’s Christmas magic is going to win this one. Man I wish I had a …. ERMAHGERD I do have a weeping angel, she’s still in the box. I Have got to set this up, my 6 year old will totally get a kick out of it *giggles madly* Adding to my good pile Jenny xoxo

  17. So creepy! I find the Elf on a Shelf to be one of the creepier things in life. I’ve only started watching Who in the past month or so and thus got introduced to the Angels last week. THAT was scary. This is creepy on so many levels…

  18. I hate the Weeping Angels! The vast majority of elves suck too!
    I think I just made some powerful enemies…
    And being a Whovian rocks, right, Bloggess?

  19. I’m sure the Elf is thinking, “I am SO GLAD I don’t really have eyelids right now.” Also, there’s NO WAY I’d own a Weeping Angel. I’d be too afraid to go to sleep, you know, just in case.

  28. I think you meant to say, “If you don’t watch Doctor Who, then sign up for Netflix right now and sit down and watch all the episodes of all the seasons in a row and then when you’re done sobbing and cheering and grinning from ear to ear, come back and read this blog.”

  36. This, right here, is officially the most creeptastic corner of the Internet right now. On the upside, you’ve solved both the Weeping Angel problem AND the serial-killer-elf-on-a-shelf problem in one fell swoop, so…you win at the world, Jenny.

  38. OMGeee! I need one of those angels.
    And that is a classic pic, btw. “-)

  39. This. is AWESOME!!! My daughter asked for all the Dr. Who characters, but specifically said, “DON’T get me the Weeping Angel! Because if that was in my room I couldn’t sleep!” LOL!

  42. If only Amy and Rory had the power of an elf on a shelf. Great now i’m going to start crying again.

  44. You quantum locked your Elf!! You saved your household!
    I think I might be more frightened of Elf on the Shelf than of the Weeping Angels.

  49. I don’t watch Dr. Who. My boyfriend does. I don’t get the picture, other than the elf (I have a 6 year old). I sent him the picture via text. He responds, “I thought you didn’t watch Dr. Who”. I’m dating a nnerd. <3

  52. Where I work there’s a white statute of what I guess is a female saint. I can’t help feeling like it’ll come alive if I stop looking at it though. Creeps me out every time I see it.

  56. voice over: “don’t blink. don’t even blink. blink and you’re de…”
    elf: “knock, knock motherfucker!”
    angel: “that little bastard just cut me! guys, get him. guys? GUYS?”

  57. One of my co-workers (who started watching Doctor Who but hasn’t reached the Weeping Angels yet), said “they’re sort of like the ghosts in the Mario games.” Weeping Angel versus Mario Ghosts stare contest!

  59. Serves the elf right for being for done on the list of creepy from the weeping angels. Of course the Angels are actually terrifying and make me happy I live in the suburbs far from statues except the one on campus but that one isn’t creepy it’s just confusing and don’t go near it. Anyway thy made me smile and forget that I am too sick to study. So thank you.

  61. My 13yo is a Whovian. I’m thinking I should get a weeping angel figure and use that in her room instead of grounding. What do you think?

  64. I love the Weeping Angels, but the old plastic headed elf is creepy as hell. We do the Elf on the Shelf (I did all the cute things last year, this year she just hides in a new place every night, if I remember to move her. Otherwise she was just too tired and didn’t find a new hiding place, my daughter doesn’t really care), but our elf is a cute little stuffed one that doesn’t creep me the eff out.

  75. I’m a long time lurker, but I had to come out of hiding to say that this is the best thing I have ever seen on the internet. Thank you, Jenny.

    PS: I loved your book.

  76. OMG! I might have to get one of Satan’s Elves to strap to my head just so I don’t have to worry about Weeping Angels! BRILLIANT! Oh, I meant Santa, clearly…Santa’s Elves. Whoops.

  77. I’m sorry, but I think all of the ” Elf on a Shelf” cheeks are weird. Why can’t they just be normal…why the sticking out creepyness? Why not just round and pink… does Santa have monopoly on cute round cheeks?

  79. you know, it’s not that you’re watching the Angels that keeps them static, it’s that they believe you are watching them. Now I need to get a set of fake, never blinking eyes, that I can wear when i go to sleep. On the pic though, Elf has this, the bastard never blinks

  82. Sometimes I feel out of sorts and then I realize I am supposed to be your bestest friend. (In the most non stalker way that can possibly be taken.)

  85. OMG

    I just looked at the picture again and realized that the elf probably just told the angel a dirty joke… that’s why she’s all like, “Wait… hold on… fuck. I need to catch my breath here.”

    Okay, I’m the one going to hell.

    Whatever.

    Best. Picture. Ever.

  89. As many hideous creatures as he’s seen, if the Doctor saw the Elf on the Shelf, even he’d be all, “Dude, THAT is creepy.”

  93. I have been trying to convince my husband we need a weeping angel xmas tree topper, but he thinks it could be traumatic for our kid. I think that the elf is much creepier. Much.

  95. That elf is bloody terrifying. Terrifying. I’d get him out of your house ASAP. You may have to burn him because I think he’d claw his way out of a grave or trash heap.

  99. Although I love the conglomeration of Whovians on this picture, I have to point out a fault with this. It should be known that only LIVING creatures will freeze an Angel when they look upon it. Points for trying.

  111. Some friends of mine are talking about their “imp with a limp” which I’m sure is their twisted version of this guy…both of them kind of give me the creeps…

  112. I find that sickly sweet smile on the elf to be as disingenuous and false as the smile on the crocodile. I worry for the angel, but only after his back is turned.

  113. I really wanted an Elf on the Shelf. For me. I don’t have a family of my own. Is that weird? Probably not as weird as the pictures you could take of him with other items in your house.

  116. Really not sure which one would creep me out more were I to find myself face to face… but to be caught in the crossfire …

  121. I think that angel is in the middle of an oh-no-you-didn’t finger snap. By the way, I am so impressed by your ability to pull of “creepy” and “funny” in one post.

  131. And then the heavens wept…. As the world came to an end…

    Careful. This may just be how the zombie apocalypse starts…

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  132. No. You are not allowed to post about Dr. Who unless you are finally telling the story about your close encounter with a Time Lord. I won’t have you playing thus with my emotions. I say this out of love.

  133. So since I’ve never seen Dr. Who (I know, I know), I finally googled the weeping angels. Holy shit, I may never sleep again.

  138. I don’t watch Dr. Who, but I’ve picked up enough from
    A. This blog
    B. Random friends on Facebook
    C. Random friends in real life
    D. Random friends on my virtual pet sites
    E. The Grim Faerie Statue on Neopets (seriously, go to Jellyneo.net and find the Item Search and look that thing up, and then click to preview it in their wearables preview thing. It does the whole freakish jumping out at you thing. It scared the shit out of me before I knew the angels were a thing)

    That I understand this post.

  147. OMG. My youngest announced he was going to have a staring contest with Comet, our elf. (I know. Reindeer name, but whatever.) The elf won. Actually, I won. It was quiet for three minutes.

  156. I think that creepy elf guy has to have “come to Jesus” meeting with Copernicus.
    Really.
    Copernicus could straighten him right out.

  157. I have so much love/hate for you right now! I love you because you are the reason for me watching Dr. Who and I hate you because you posted a Weeping Angel on your blog. I finally just got their image out of my head… Crap, maybe I didn’t and that’s why my eye has been bugging me. Hopefully the drops that I’m using can get rid of stone. I may just possibly be screwed.

  162. I was having 1 of those days too. Took my gaggle of girls to a doll shop that’s closing. They wanted new webkinz/stuffed animals/more crap. They named their webkinz Amelia Pond and River Song. My 3yo got a stuffed TY giraffe and she’s calling him Raggedy Doctor. My husband was so proud!

  163. someone put a Lego reindeer and sleigh with three passengers up in the living room; and I thought, “cool, but it needs a flying shark”

  166. Oh man. I’m laying in bed on day 3 of stomach flu and this is the first time I’ve cracked a smile. Awesome!

  170. Cheezus! That’s scary stuff! I’m not sure which one has the edge, to be honest. (The obvious question is ‘do you ever put the Angel by Victor’s pillow, so it’s the first thing he sees when he wakes up?’ Just asking…) J x

  173. This definitely confirms that The Bloggess is the Doctor’s new companion! Move over, River Song!

  175. I am having an internal debate about the whole elf on a shelf thing. On one side I love Christmas tradition, and they can be funny. On the other, I’m terrified I’ll wake up to that elf staring me down in my sleep *shudders*

  182. So the elf can’t move tonight?

    OMG, I LOVE this! I laughed so hard that my manager had to come ask me why but I couldn’t tell her because she’s NOT into Dr. Who!

    Too funny!

  186. Wow, I can’t believe you’ve managed to find something even creepier than a weeping angel. Well done.

  190. This is our FIRST season with “the elf”. Those eyes creep me out. I’m waiting to place it in a new place, only to have its head swivel and talk to me in a Chucky voice.

  191. Actually, this just looks like a pretty average episode of Doctor Who. I’d check Moffat doesn’t read your blog, if I were you. He’ll be stealing ideas for next years Christmas episode xx

  192. This is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Well, since Haley flipped off everyone at her Thanksgiving performance.
    fucking hilarious. Thank you!

  194. Every time I see a weeping angel statue, my eyes widen and I’m afraid to blink. Then I really need to blink.

    Your elf has the advantage. Painted open eyes.

  197. Thank you Jenny! Going through a bout of mental troubles (not as bad as a real mental illness, but still a problem) and I come here multiple times a day for cheering up or inspirational entries. While I have always just lurked, I want to remind you that you have a tremendous impact on many, many lives. Best of luck with those troublesome elves!

  198. Oh, I purchased the audio version and now I feel robbed! I won’t see the pictures!!!! What to do, what to do???
    Loving it, by the way 🙂

    Mirela

  199. I have a collection of Christmas angels – no weeping one (not EVER) and no elves, but I LOVE Dr Who and totally get this picture – but will NEVER get the ingredients for my own! Too scary by half. Love your wacky sense of humour Jenny. Have a great Christmas with your family and friends.

  203. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this blog! Yesterday I stumbled upon the Barefoot Blonde blog via Pinterest. I’ve spent most of today depressed by the fact that a self absorbed dingbat who lacks a basic understanding of the English language (seriously it’s I’ll not ill) has something of a cult following. Today I found your blog. Balance has been restored to my universe.

  206. Day. Made.

    Just wish I hadn’t already sent out my Christmas Cards… Oh well, I guess I can still order a weeping angel online and recreate this to freak my husband out next week 🙂

  209. Elf on a Shelf scares the shit out of me. I don’t like tattle-tales. I mean really, he watches you all day, heads up to the north pole, tells on you to Santa and then when he returns, he hides from you cause he is “funny”. Creepy.

  211. I stole this and posted it to Facebook as a test. I also gave out your web address. Sorry for the weirdos currently coming your way…

  212. I just saw this posted on Facebook by someone who found it on G+. I thought it looked familiar, so I had to make sure the original source was referenced in the comments 🙂

  213. *gasp* And they dispute this being an original Bloggess image! Surely this wasn’t copied from somewhere else…

    (It’s original. They’re still in place on the table as we speak. Bet them a grand that it belongs to me and I’ll send you proof. ~ Jenny)

  214. Best picture ever! I don’t watch Dr.who but my teenage son does-I couldn’t wait to show him this picture to him! Best picture ever! (Might e because this is the one dr.who part I know!). Whomever stole it from you is definitely on the naughty list

  216. I didn’t realise that Dr Who was available in USA as well. Somehow, I never expected that there would be an American audience for this series (coming up 50 years since the first episode). It has been compulsive viewing in Aust. since then.

    I just Googled this Elf on the Shelf and fully understand why the Angel is about to wipe it out. Blink Elf, Blink!

  217. I have to say…the Angel episodes are the creepiest thing. I’ve seen two of them so far, and I think there might be more coming, but I don’t know yet, since I haven’t watched Doctor who in like 36 hours and I’m starting to go through withdrawal and I really want to get caught up with the rest of the Doctor Who world, but my kids have been having their Christmas concerts and wow, is this really all supposed to be one sentence? Somehow I think I should have taken a breath in there somewhere! Anyhow, I LOVE this picture, even though it creeps the hell out of me, because really….those Angels are terrifying! (And the Elf is creeptastic too!)

  219. Love, love, love this pic! Almost makes me want to get one of those weird elves just to do something like this. Of course…I’d need a Weeping Angel as well..

  220. Mid December, our elf mysteriously disappeared. Kids didn’t do it, I didn’t do it, hubs didn’t do it. I think I should have taken this MAGIC elf more seriously

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