They so know me

in Random Crap

My very sweet editor told me to be on the look-out for a holiday present that should be arriving soon.  I assumed it would be a box of sausages or maybe a fruit basket, but instead I opened a tiny box to find this:

Yes. That is a tiny, ethically taxidermied belly-dancing mouse. It's also possibly the cover of my second book.

May all your strange holiday wishes come true, and may the people in your life know you better than you know yourself.

188 thoughts on “They so know me”

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  8. Love you. Love your editors. Happy Christmas, Jenny. Peace, love and happiness to you and yours.

  11. This is fantastic! I always think it’s so sweet when people get to know you so well, it really shows that they care and pay attention to you. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Jenny! 🙂

  15. Christmas at my house this year was unfortunately usurped by a dead alternator in my car (all Christmas Cash went to fix the alternator).

    Still, tomorrow there will be a feast of meatballs and Italian Sausages (Oh Myyyy! How Freudian!) and I have a couple of days to just relax, so that’s nice.

    I love that your editor “gets” you! And I’m so happy to have your blog and your book to make me smile! Have a lovely Christmas Jenny! Hugs to Victor and Hailey, as well. And pettin’s to the kittehs!

  20. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Jenny! Merry Christmas to all of your readers and fans as well. I get so many laughs from your blog and the comments are usually hysterical. Loved the book. I hope the second one is just as awesome!

    I hope the new year brings lots of inspiration to us all.

    :*

  22. Yes yes, what is her name, indeed? What a perfect addition to your mousey family 🙂 Happy Merry Christmas and may the new year bring wonderful things like second books, more ethically taxidermied family members, and lots and lots of love.

  24. People “GET” you Jenny, because you “GET” US. Not that I would want a dead, stuffed mouse anywhere near me. A bracelet I would take. Happy Holidays.

  26. My husband bought my plane ticket for NY Fashion week for Christmas…so I wasn’t expecting the beautiful tea set I’ve loved for over a year that looks like blood and milk. I’m having his grandparents over for a crazy hat tea party and crumpets Christmas morning. I think the best Christmas gifts this year are playing with Tiny..and not being preggo!

  28. I am so very jealous. Which is wrong at Christmas, I know – but still. May you and yours (including the taxidermy, obviously) have a wonderful holiday!

  29. It needs those little bell clapper things because when it moved then it would make noise! Although if it moved on its own then it’s probably a sign of the zombie apocalypse… but then again it would have bells! So you could hear it coming. Basically I just invented a warning signal for the zombie apocalypse. You’re totally welcome.

  32. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! All I asked for this year was your book
    . I hope Santa can ovetlook a few episodes of less than stellar behavior, and bring it to me!!

  33. My favorite thing about your present is how a something can completely creep and gross out one person (like me) but bring such joy and delight to another (like you) all at the same time, lol.

    Merry Happy Christmas Holiday, Jenny and to all the rest of you!

  39. It’s no scrotal giraffe head, but she’s awesome! Merry Everything! Love you lots, lady.

  45. SO JEALOUS! If I opened a present and found a stuffed belly-dancing mouse, I would giggle-pee myself into a coma. I’ve asked for awesome taxidermy for YEARS, but The Manchild won’t buy me any. I think that he secretly wants me to hate his guts.
    Anyway, happy holidays to you and all your critters (dead or alive)!

  50. Wow… Now any gift I have will pale in comparison. Picture me weeping openly in front of the Christmas tree and my traumatized little children.

    Happy holidays, Bloggess. May it be awesome and full of, um, dead things.

  55. That is super fantastic! I love how her outfit has bling and everything! Can’t wait to hear her name 🙂

  68. Just finished your book. Looking forward to the second one!

    Happy winter break and may 2013 — or is it 2012 the second — be full of love and laughter

  73. I was *this* close to getting that same outfit in my size for myself yesterday! It looks better on the mouse :P. That wins the prize for Most Thoughtful and Appropriate Gift! Merry Christmas to you and yours 🙂

  79. So, has Madame Belly Dancer told you her name yet? And, YAY for a second book!! I only bought 5 copies of the first, so I’ll try to up my purchases next time.

    Merry Christmas and Happy 2013 to you and to your family. The two and four-legged ones, alive or taxidermied. (Totally not a phrase I thought I’d ever write.)

  82. People send you dead animals in the mail to show their love for you. Only the Bloggess fans would understand this. We love you! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and may all the beautiful karma that surrounds you and awesome gift (of yourself) that you give all of us each week come back to you tenfold in the coming year.

    Virtual smooches and hugs to you all!

  83. As a bellydancer I must say that’s a great costume. 😉 Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/GodYule to you all!

    Jess

  84. Awesome!!! I wish people knew me as well as they do you. (I am afraid to open some of my presents because they will be in the “Oh, you shouldn’t have” category.)

  87. Merry Christmas Jenny, Victor, Haley and the rest of the gang. Thank you for the many, many and much needed at times laughs. Thank you for letting us into your world. You all have made this world a bit more bare-able.

  92. Merry Christmas, Jenny, and thank you for another year of awesome. (If I knew how to make the word awesome twinkle and shoot fireworks, I totally would have. Maybe you can pretend it’s animated.)

  95. That is one smexy-lookin’ belly-dancer! 😀

    A very merry Christmas to you, Jenny. Thanks for a year of fantabulous and amazing blogposts! *Cheers*

  100. She’s awesome! I vote for calling her Salome.

    May you and your family have a wonderful holiday.

    P.S. Tell Hunter S. Thomcat that OJ Kitty says, “Hello!”

  104. It’s a rodent triumvirate! But as much as I want to know what her name will be, who is the BJD whose leg is in the picture???

  107. I forgot to add . . .

    I would totally call her Barbara Billingsqueak.

    And yes, I know it was Barbara Eden who played Jeannie in I Dream of. However, in that little getup, Barbara Billingsqueak looks like she would love nothing more than to “Leave it to Beaver”, if you know what I mean.

    xoxoxox

  109. Merry Christmas, Jenny! And you do realize, don’t you, that even more than an ethically taxidermied bellydancing mouse, those two magic words “second book” are the best Christmas present you could ever hope to give us, don’t you?

  110. What a fabulous gift! This beauty would be perfect for your next book cover, but then, you have so many little friends to choose from, I guess it depends on the material covered in the book. The attacking friends might be a good option, too. Merry Christmas, thanks for a great year of laughs.

  111. You are just the luckiest gal! Merry Christmas! Love the mouse, I really, really do!

  113. So funny! Please don’t reveal her name until the book comes out! Be inspired and make it awesome! I have renewed hope that those mermaid fins I asked for will be under the tree tomorrow. Have a happy blessed holiday!

  115. Merry Christmas from a loyal reader. Thank you for your fearless sharing about depression. I lost my best friend this year to the liar depression and although I am trying to enjoy all family and friends during the holidays, the loss seems overwhelming. I wish he had made a different decision. Although his pain is over – it seems to have been spread to all of us left behind. There are no more chances for even a sliver of joy for him. Dead is dead. I have been on the edge of despair, likely one of the reasons we were such good friends – I get it. I just wish we could have had another day, another brunch or gossipy phone call or garage sale. He stood by me and was my champion while I went through crazy nasty cancer treatment this year. I am ready to start the next chapter and he is gone. Just gone. My heart is broken. I hate this disease. Please don’t stop talking about it. You help us all more than you will ever know. You are giving the voiceless a voice.
    Light a candle and curse the dark….. tomorrow is another day.

  119. Merry Christmas Jenny,
    I had a sucktastic year and discovering your blog made it a little easier on the nasty days. Thank you for being you and reminding me that strange is not bad thing it makes life fun!

  120. Merry Christmas. Or Merry Christmouse. One of those.
    Thanks for helping me through the dark moments this year. And creating an urge to own multiple ethically taxidermied animals.

  121. Too bad it is a mouse and not a rat so that you could name her: Scheheratazade from One Thousand and One Nights.

  125. merry christmas, jenny. thanks for all of the belly laughs this year. you’re a gift to all of us. also, your editor is amazing. what more could a writer want than an editor that gets them? xoxo simone

  127. Happy holidays! I’ll devour your book (as a figure of speech!!!) even if I have a really bad phobia about mice. THIS is how much I love what you do.

  129. Thank you for the lovely wishes dear Bloggess.

    May you always find happiness in the deepest darkest places. The world needs you! I need you.

  130. Merry Christmas! Thank you for the gifts of humor and honesty throughout the year.

    It’s amazing to receive a gift that shows the giver truly understands you.

  131. Merry Christmas Bloggess! Got your book for Christmas from my awesome mama, and we are now fighting over who gets to read it first…

  132. At first I couldn’t see the upper two arms and I was seriously disturbed that someone would make a belly dancing mouse without arms. Then I realized how bigoted that thought was toward armless belly dancers. Then I saw the arms were holding out the shawl and all my turmoil was over.

  134. Got your book for Christmas last night and I AM EXCITED. Also, had to explain to a pair of 82-year-old Polish people wtf the cover meant. AWESOME.

  135. What are you naming her?? I love the names you come up with but Hunter S. Tomcat is my favorite!!

  136. I was introduced to your blog, and book, by a friend, and am thoroughly enjoying both. That has to be the best gift ever! I got a rat for Christmas, live, not taxidermied, but it does seem to be a rodent-themed Christmas. I remember walking by a pest control shop in Paris and was stopped in my tracks by the window display of at least 20 taxidermied rats hanging from traps, which I had to photograph. That says something when that is the thing I remember most about my trip to Paris….

  137. I got the perfect gift for Christmas… YOUR BOOK! I’ve been askign my famiy to buy it for me since Mother’s Day… I finally bought it for myself. Imagine my surprise when I opened the package, this morning.
    We’ve been having spontanious reasings from the “Book of Lawson” all day. My family’s new favorite phrase is “Poop Rope”. Thank you for sharing your special flavor of crazy with us. It’s a great fit!
    Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!!!

  138. What a fun gift you got from your editor! I would love to see your new friend on the cover of your next book. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, and best wishes for the best new year ever! *hugs*

  139. merry christmas, jenny! may the magic of freakishly freaky taxidermied small animals abound for you during this special time!

  140. WOW, always a good thing for the people in your life to understand you.. I didn’t even really know stuff like this existed until I started following this blog.

  146. I seriously thought it was a tiny bat with fabric-decorated wings.

    Since it isn’t…. I smell a project for someone who excels at taxidermy! (And possibly bedazzling or something. A bat would be fabulous with tiny jewel-encrusted wings!)

  147. My sweetie gave me your book for Christmas. I have been reading it and snort-laughing and calling him and our son into the room to read passages aloud. He said, “I think if you two ever meet, you will get on like a house afire.” That seems like a very likely outcome. The getting along, and also possible arson.

  150. You know, in high school i stuffed a rat in a science class (don’t ask – longer scary story. Oh, the good ol’ days when you COULD stuff a rat in a high school class…). Mom kept it for a good 20 years after I moved out before finally letting me toss it. I wish I would have let her save it so I could send it to you for your budding collection.

  152. Damn! I was going to get you a snake-charming gerbil but Target had sold out by the time I got there. Glad your editors came through.

    If gifts like this are a perk of being a published author, you’ve just inspired me to step up my game on finishing my book. Thanks.

  153. As much as I love, and daily live for the updates on this blog, I also love the people who comment on this site. What an amazing bunch of people. Wow.

    Merry Christmas Jenny, and to all your family, and I hope your dad didn’t take off that Santa suite from the last adventure! LOL!

    Peace.

  158. You see, this is why I need an editor… That, and the fact that my book apparently sucks due to a lack of support from an editorial team, a marketing team and the power of an actual publishing house!

    Merry Christmas, Jenny/Bloggess.

    I hope you enjoyed the Doctor Who Christmas special as much as my family did. It kicked snowman butt – literally!

  160. Now, that is a fabulous dancing mouse. I am so jealous. I started asking for my own mouse, a beautimouse pegasus mouse, nearly 8 months ago. Alas, everyone keeps assuming I am joking…and not a single pegasus mouse did I receive.

  163. Looking forward to the second book! And you have the coolest life, with the possible exception of all the medical crap and anxiety and stuff, which I wish you didn’t have because you seem way too awesome to have all that stuff.

  166. I think the name of your next book should be: “Precious, marvel wind.”

  167. I didn’t get one ethically stuffed thing this Christmas 🙁

    Not even the turkey.
    Sister – in – law had a turkey roll. WTF?

  169. Can you find out how she died ?
    I’m concerned, was it something she ate ? Maybe tiny muffins laced with arsenic.
    Someone sent me some tiny muffins with paper lace napkin and tiny cup and saucer.
    No return address.
    All I can do is stare at them. I’m living in total fear.

  171. Just don’t steal the name of my next book, Gypsy Mouse.
    Pretty funny though. Remember Chevy Chase in Funny Farm, where the wife buys that stuffed squirrel that spawns a great children’s book? I think you’re on to something.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

  174. It will be perfectly understandable when Victor develops an uncontrolled twitch every time the postman rings the doorbell. It must be like living in the taxidermied version of the movie Willard. Do not misunderstand, I want one, too. Whimsy and surprise rule!

  175. Every time I hear that music they play on Star Trek Original whenever a woman dances exotically, I’ll think of that wee timorous beastie of a belly-dancer.

  177. Jenny, I know that you read all of these, late or not (hello, OCD?!) just as I do with mine. I’m catching up after the holidays (pagan, christian, whatever) and this outstandingly thoughtful gift reminded me of a show I just saw recently, which made us think of you.

    Oddities and Oddities – San Francisco ,
    look for them, you’ll want to go on a road-trip, post haste.

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