Astronomy classes ruined my sense of romance

December 26, 2012

in Random crap

Friend:  I love this quote… “Good friends are like stars.  You don’t always see them, but you know that they are always there.”

me:  Actually, many of the stars we currently see are already burnt-out and dead, but we just don’t know it yet because their light is still traveling toward us.

Friend:  Fine.  We’ll change it.  ”Good friends are like stars…

me:  …They’re very shiny but a lot of them might be dead.”

Friend:  And once again, you ruin the romance with logic.

me:  Well some might not be dead yet.  Although technically if they’re not already dead they’re most likely currently in flames.

Friend:  *sigh*

me:  How about this?:  ”Most of your friends are dead, but the ones who aren’t dead are on fire.  It’s complicated to explain, but it’s nice to watch from a distance.  Much like friendship.”

Friend:  Yeah.  That’s almost exactly the same sentiment.

me:  It’s a gift.

{ 167 comments… read them below or add one }

1 EdT. December 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

This explains why “Fifty Shades of Gray” could never be a successful science-fiction book.

~EdT.
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2 Anonymous December 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

thats funny

3 Tragic Sandwich December 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Supernovas. This needs more supernovas. But friendships do not. Or maybe they do. I’m very tired.
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4 Sara December 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I effing love you.
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5 Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho December 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

With friends like these…. how can we roast marshmallows off their bodies?
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6 Jake December 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Also, there’s a registry where you can pay to name them.
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7 Steve D December 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I wonder if that’d fit on a t-shirt…
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8 My Half Assed Life December 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Makes perfect sense to me.
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9 Daddy Scratches December 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Hallmark just called. You’re hired.
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10 Sue December 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Are you not supposed to point out how illogical her statement was? Seeing the faulty logic is a gift, and a curse.
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11 Rhana @ Dumb {Squared} December 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Somewhere, Carl Sagan is laughing. I think.
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12 Laura December 26, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Good friends are like stars. They light up your life even if they are dead.

13 TechyDad December 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

The minute I read “Well some might not be dead yet.” I pictured the Monty Python scene.

I’m not dead yet. I feel fine. I think I’ll go for a walk. I feel happy. I feel happy.
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14 Scott December 26, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Some of the ones that are on fire have a chance of exploding in the near future. I don’t know how to relate that back to friends.

15 Mary Anne December 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

No it needs to be on an ecard….
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16 Tanee December 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I freaking love you :)
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17 JWo December 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

So what does it mean if we have “flaming” friends?
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18 Emily December 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

This is my favourite post of yours to date!

19 TechyDad December 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Also, good friends are like stars in that they are made of material that was ejected during a star’s supernova. Then again, I guess that makes good friends like dying stars. And, technically speaking, enemies are made of the same stuff also so everyone is like dying stars!
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20 Cris December 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Friends are like stars. Even if they’re dead, you can look back in time and see them shine for you.
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21 Dana the Biped December 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

No, no, no. Good friends are like taxidermied mice. Even if they’re dead, they’re still there. Probably dressed in something silly.
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22 Cathy December 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Yeah… kinda depressing. When gazing at stars, you’re looking at light from a star that could very well have burned out before we were even born.
Ahhhhhh. Romance.
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23 Kat December 26, 2012 at 12:55 pm

True friends are like stars, gaseous and on fire… especially mine who like to light their farts.
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24 thedoseofreality December 26, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Perfect. Can I get that on a pillow or something!? ;)
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25 EdT. December 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm

“Love is like astronomy: everyone is searching for proof of the Big Bang.”

~EdT.
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26 Banana Stickers December 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Friends are like stars: From far away, they’re shiny as fuck. Sometimes they have whole planets revolving around them because they were spoiled as children. And if you stand close by, you would disinigrate and die before they let you get any closer.
HUGS.
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27 Milaka December 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm

And, once again, that’s why I love you.

SO excited to spend my Amazon gift card on your book!!!!! Can’t wait to read it!
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28 Sarah December 26, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I think it’s fitting. Some of my friends seem to always be on fire… Perhaps the others ARE dead…
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29 Mary Ellen December 26, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Friends are like stars, if you don’t see them, they are probably still alive.

30 Jennifer December 26, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Too funny. I have a tendancy to think in the literal sense of things too and people get so aggrivated with me.

On a side note: I just purchased your book today for my kindle! Can’t wait to read it.
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31 Anonymous December 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

So you’re aware of this book, right? http://www.amazon.com/All-My-Friends-Are-Dead/dp/0811874559

32 Erica December 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

And that is precisely why I wish I were really friends with you. Like, outside of my weird little imagination.
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33 khereva December 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Well, maybe friends AREN’T like stars. Very few of my friends are glittery from afar (except for St. Jeni the Compassionate), but none of them up close are seething masses of lethal radiation, crushing gravity, and vaporizing heat. Well, almost none of them.

34 Janine Huldie December 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm

And now I know why you are who you are. Seriously, not sure how you do it, but you always seem to put it perfectly!!!
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35 Kim December 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm

So, say someone sets a friend on fire, will this argument hold up in court? I’m asking for a friend. Who may or may not be currently on fire…
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36 Shiloh Walker December 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm

that’s disturbing…and oddly poetic. I think. Maybe. I need to go back to bed and ruminate.
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37 Borg Blog December 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Having a conversation with you must be SOO much fun! Never quite clear what might come from it!
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38 Ashley December 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Haaaaaaaa!

xo Ashley
luckylittlebird.blogspot.com
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39 Mary h December 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Okay I totally read the title wrong, I thought it said ‘anatomy class’…. As opposed to astronomy class. Had to do a double take after I read the article and couldn’t figure out where the anatomy class came into play.

40 PaigeToo December 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Does “friend” == “Victor-who-wishes-to-remain-anonymous-on-this-one”??

41 Dazie December 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Good friends are like stars. Gaseous and burning, and will most likely expand to kill you before they die.

42 Claire J December 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Good friends are like stars. They incinerate you if you get too close. But most of them are very far away.
Story of my life.
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43 Caren December 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Friends are like moons, reflecting the brilliant fire of the stars nearest them.

44 Melissa Marie December 26, 2012 at 1:13 pm

“Good friends are like stars…They’re very shiny but a lot of them might be dead.”

I might have this tattoo’d on my ribcage.
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45 Risley December 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Two words: Schrodinger’s Cat. You’re welcome.

46 Laura @ Unlikely Explanations December 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Good friends are like stars. The closer you get, the harder they pull you towards them, which (depending on where you’re at, where you’re headed, and what you’re made of) could be lethal.
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47 Jaime December 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Your explanation makes so much more sense.

It IS hard to explain good friendships to other people.
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48 Kelly@Sublurban Mama December 26, 2012 at 1:21 pm

If good friends are like stars, connecting their bodies will make pictures. Which either means I’m a serial killer or that I’ve realized Facebook has the power to be both a social network AND a planetarium.
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49 winopants December 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Well, look at that. I learned something today!
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50 T. A. Woods December 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Maybe friendship is more like crystal meth…can get you arrested and makes you lose your teeth? No? I’ve really got to work on metaphors…
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51 Marcia December 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Love it. Reminds me of how I took astronomy in college thinking I’d learn about constellations and get to impress people at parties with that. It turned out to be a grueling physics class. One of the biggest disappointments in my life. And now when I look at the sky all I can think about is how the universe most often compared to a loaf of raisin bread. Brings all new meaning to life in general.
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52 Dawn L. December 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Also, stars, like friendships, often implode.
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53 Sarah December 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

This had me literally laughing out loud and I immediately had to read it to everyone in the vicinity! I love this so much. You make me laugh often, and you show me that there are others in this world like me, possibly even more crazy than I. ;) Logic prevails, and is ultimately much more romantic than simile.

54 Dangerous Lilly December 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Never try to romanticize things to a literalist nerd :)
If Sheldon Cooper were real, you’d get along famously.
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55 Smokeynall December 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

See, this is why we can’t have nice analogies.
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56 TPPC.tv, Pets Teach Us So Much Blog and Podcast December 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

So if you dead friend is on fire and they fall to the ground, will the earth explode and we will all die? I’m so confused.
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57 Steve Lee December 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Jenny; at times your logic is scary…

58 Hawthorn December 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

No star that you can see in the night sky (as a star) is already burned out and dead. They are too close. Stars far enough away to burn out by the time their light reaches us are in distant galaxies you’d need a big telescope to see. Novas and supernovas close to us may “die” quicker but they’re extremely active as they do it. Conversely, there are lots of dead stars in the night sky – but you can’t see them. Thanks for your fun blog and happy holidays.

59 Lindsay Barker December 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Exactly. This is also how I feel about “If friends were flowers, I’d pick you.” When you pick a flower, it dies, so what you’re really saying is that you would like to remove me from my roots and let me slowly starve to death while being ogled. For some reason, people think me odd when I try to express this.

60 Craig December 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I read the title as ‘anatomy’ and thought ‘oh thank god it wasn’t just me.’

…dammit.

61 anna December 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I dropped astronomy class as soon as I realized it wasn’t the same thing as astrology. #truestory
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62 Heretic Husband December 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Some of my friends could definitely be described as hot balls of gas.
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63 tracy @mamacreates December 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

god love you.

64 Geoffrey @realgtaylor December 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Good friends are like stars, but if you get too close to them, they’ll kill you.
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65 Robert K. Blechman December 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

From Joni Mitchell:
“I am as constant as the Northern Star”
“Constantly in the darkness. Where’s that at? If you want me I’ll be in the bar.”
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66 Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) December 26, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Ha. Reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote, “We are all in the gutter. Only some of us are looking at the stars.” Most days, I think I’m looking at the gutter.
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67 The Suzzzz December 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

”Most of your friends are dead, but the ones who aren’t dead are on fire. It’s complicated to explain, but it’s nice to watch from a distance. Much like friendship.”

I need that on a tshirt, like, now.
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68 Lindsey December 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I’m planning on taking an astronomy class next year…maybe I shouldn’t… :P

-Lindsey
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69 Ceba December 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Sooooo, some friends are brighter than others and don’t go out? Sounds like a perfect description of my life post-motherhood, if you as me!!

70 Valerie December 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Reminds me of the quote, “Friendship is like peeing your pants; every one can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.” Romantic & accurate!

71 Tanya December 26, 2012 at 3:12 pm

The original one clearly needed work. Yours is much better and much more true.
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72 jesspants December 26, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Vaguely reminiscent of Clueless:

She’s like a Monet – from far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.
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73 Megan Freedman December 26, 2012 at 3:40 pm

@TheBloggess I let my mom read this and she said ‘oh bless her heart that’s so sweet, thinking about friends.’ Me: ‘about friends on fire mom?’ Mom: ‘some of them for sure’.

74 Melanie December 26, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I took astronomy in college with my then-boyfriend. He always called me a white dwarf because I was small and hot (if by small he meant very curvaceous and by hot he meant my fiery temper), and I called him a red giant because he was big and dumb. And that part is just true. Probably still. I think his biceps took too much blood away from his brain so he couldn’t think. And he made stupid suggestions like that I shouldn’t finish college because I should just teach sunday school and direct the choir anyway. Misogynistic asshole. Wait – what were we talking about again?
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75 Courtney December 26, 2012 at 3:55 pm

So if my friends aren’t on fire, should I set them on fire? I’m so confused.
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76 Lisa December 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

You sound exactly like my son. In discussing his goals for the future I used the quote “Aim for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” To which he replied “That doesn’t even make sense. The stars are much farther out than the moon…”

77 E. Lauer December 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Good friends are like stars. They’re there for you even when they’re dead. Also, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is one of my favorite books, largely because it functions as a (semi addictive) anti depressant. Write a couple sequels, and you’re in the running for a Nobel.

78 Tollula December 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I LOVED your book and LOVE your blog, but just based on this posting, I so want you to be my friend! :)

79 bschooled December 26, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Not to mention that “All My Friends Are Stars” sounds like a much less depressing read than “All My Friends Are Dead.”
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80 Mama D December 26, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I am married to your (male) twin: He feels compelled to point out inaccuracies and hyperbole in conversation too! I have always attributed it to his engineering background. ;)
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81 Dee Dee December 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm

You mean that it’s not just a big black sheet with holes poked in it? I guess I should pay more attention to things!

82 Emily S. December 26, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I need this on a coffee mug. Stat.
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83 Amanda December 26, 2012 at 6:40 pm

So really what this all means is that when I feel a burning sensation it may very well mean that I am experiencing friendship, no?

Not at all related, but comes to mind right now, once, during a transvaginal ultrasound that was, shall we say, really fucking uncomfortable, I gasped and the tech said to me as my husband held my hand, “You know, if intercourse is ever uncomfortable, *you* control the force of penetration.”

It has come to be a calming thing we say to each other. “Babe, keep in mind, you control the force of penetration.”
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84 Stacey December 26, 2012 at 6:49 pm

If you could just work in a bit about how some of the friends are dwarves, that would be golden.
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85 Laurie F. December 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Um. Ok.
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86 amy December 26, 2012 at 6:56 pm

This makes perfect sense to me. A lot of my favorite people are dead.

87 Imperfect Jessica December 26, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Ha!

And then this is when you say: man you are so special.
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88 Suzy December 26, 2012 at 8:07 pm

It reminded me of the I explicable phrase “if friends were flowers I’d pick you.”

Really now is this a card to a person who is unaware you are friends? Because a simple “I wanted a good friend and I picked you” it gets the point across perfectly without putting the strange flower reference in there..

89 Crack You Whip December 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

You are so freaking AWESOME!
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90 prin December 26, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only “…actually” person in the world.

91 prin December 26, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Also, I’m surprised nobody made an, “I feel friendship when I pee,” joke yet. Unless I missed it.

92 Teeny Bikini December 26, 2012 at 9:12 pm

So So So Funny!!
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93 Lady Penelope December 26, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Seems accurate enough; most of my friends are giant balls of gas…

94 Southern Girl December 26, 2012 at 10:39 pm

ROFLMAO this is so something I would do. Explains why more of my friends don’t ask me for advice on the esoteric things in their brains.
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95 Miss Gee December 26, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Yeah, your gift is on eternal fire!! :D
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96 Rachel December 26, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Perfect. So romantic and pretty.
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97 Mary, QoE December 27, 2012 at 12:24 am

How about – Good friends are like *nearly* dead stars. . . .though, I gotta say I like your logic.
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98 B December 27, 2012 at 1:16 am

that’s fantastic. I love it =)
It’s a good thing to say to all friends during a group gathering – hard for them to tell which you like and dislike.
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99 Tom Stronach December 27, 2012 at 3:07 am

That’s it I’m burned out now, but in Scottish tradition at new year to first foot, you should turn up with a lump of coal and a bottle of whisky. You can chuck one on the fire and see it erupt in warming flames and the other gives a warming glow inside, Friends ………………….
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100 Shannon December 27, 2012 at 5:23 am

LOL. Don’t forget the part about them exploding before death, much like friendships.
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101 Kattie December 27, 2012 at 5:27 am

Love it. Completely backed up as well.
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102 WeezaFish December 27, 2012 at 6:02 am

Truly is a gift. I hate when folk do it to me yet oddly, I too have a habit of doing this. My Dad would call it “pissing on somebodys bonfire” :-)

103 Cara(Eli) December 27, 2012 at 7:33 am

:D Now I can hardly wait till you explain marriage
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104 One Classy Motha December 27, 2012 at 8:04 am

Yeah, well my ex-friend Rachel thinks she’s like the sun, so god damn bright and that everything should revolve around her. Screw you Rachel, screw you!
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105 Geek Goddess December 27, 2012 at 8:11 am

Who says science is cold and heartless?
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106 Andy Sell December 27, 2012 at 8:55 am

I really think you need a new card that says…
“Good friends are like stars, they’re very shiny but a lot of them might be dead, and the ones who aren’t dead are on fire. It’s complicated to explain but it’s nice to watch from a distance. Much like friendship.”

Please please make this happen.

P.S. I agree with people saying Carl Sagan would like this, so do it for Carl.

107 Carie December 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

How about…Good friends are like stars…even after they are burnt out and dead they are still with you.

108 elaine kurpiel December 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

CARL SAGAN, LEONARD, SHELDON, HOWARD, RAJ LIBEL!!!!!

109 Lauren December 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

Did you know the Chron (whom I know you write for!) says your book is good to re-gift?! I would never! Well, okay, I might share my love for it after I read it, but that’s not what they suggest. http://www.chron.com/entertainment/gallery/Presents-that-should-totally-be-regifted-54362/photo-3883270.php

110 Ms. PC December 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

Well said. Stupid expression anyway. How about…

“Friends are like stars. You know they’re there but you can never see them when you live in the city because of too much light pollution.”
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111 Karen Sanders December 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

It’s how I’ve always interpreted the phrase.
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112 Kathleen December 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

I totally understand you. You’re on fire!
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113 TheRealBarman December 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

My friends are like stars because you can’t see them in the day because they are all hungover and sleeping and hiding from the light. They come out at night with twinkly outfits and they wink a lot and try to get laid.

I should work for Hallmark.

The RB
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114 Susie Lindau (@SusieLindau) December 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

Familiarity breeds contempt and explosions which can be delightful from a distance…That’s what you meant, right?
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115 Jason December 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

Bloggess, keeping it real.
You need to visit some other well known sayings for review.

Jason
The Cheeky Daddy
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116 Corinne December 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

That made total sense, especially the part about the stars already being dead but the light still shines. Unfortunately, that’s how many friendships are.

Hope you’re doing better. Sending love.
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117 Chris December 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Friends are like stars, too much exposure to them gives you skin cancer…

118 Christine December 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Good friends are like stars. Most of them are dwarves. ….You know, cause dwarves are good friends; they can crawl into tiny spaces and fight orcs and trolls with you.
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119 Edenn December 27, 2012 at 2:49 pm

And this is what the next book will be about; well known sayings, looked at with fresh eyes! Possibly the fresh burning eyes of deceased ‘friends’.

120 Lisa December 27, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Totally unrelated but I bought your book and just about peed my pants laughing !

121 The Hook December 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm

The Bloggess: redefining the meaning of “gift”….
Great post, Jenny! You never disappoint.

122 Az December 27, 2012 at 5:14 pm

What about “Friends are like stars… they liked you a lot more before you took up arson.”
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123 steph gas December 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

i was on fire. but only once. and it was because i was wearing an acrylic sweater and light a cigarette. POOF. arm up in flames. good times.
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124 Adrasteia December 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I love you. I once had a cat catch fire. She draped her tail over a candle. Fortunately she’s a medium haired cat and I put it out quickly, so she never felt a thing, but she gave me an annoyed look for all the dancing around and screaming I did. :p
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125 Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom December 27, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I’ve always believed that flamers make the best friends. Fun as they are flamboyant.
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126 Sherry Borzo December 28, 2012 at 7:21 am

As I’ve aged my hearing has become “challenged” which has worked out great because what I think I hear is often more interesting than what has actually been said. Now it seems to hold true for what I read. I read the post “Astronomy class ruined my sense of romance” and thought it was originally “Anatomy class ruined my sense of romance” which could be true also.

127 Abby December 28, 2012 at 8:13 am

I’m thinking, perhaps, a new analogy is in order lol
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128 Eva December 28, 2012 at 10:35 am

Sounds just like a conversation that my friends and I would have… but it would start something like, “Aw man, I heard this ridiculously sweet quote that was so inaccurate. Let’s come up with a better one. One that sucks less. Here’s a napkin.”

129 UnderwaterAttackCat December 28, 2012 at 11:42 am

My favorite friendship quote is:

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”
? Robert Bloch

Nothing to do with flaming balls of gas floating in space, but it’s still funny.

130 Natalie the Singingfool December 28, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Have you ever seen the books All My Friends Are Dead? This reminds me of that A LOT.
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131 Bodaciousboomer December 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Obviously my meds need to be increased…
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132 Robyn Webb December 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm

So, maybe stars should be your enemies? Then you could look at them and think, “I really hated her. I’m glad she is a star instead of something really awesome like a Tardis.”
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133 Belvidore Adkins December 28, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Most of the stars we can *see* are not dead, since they are close to us and the light gets to us in thousands of years, which is tiny compared to the billions of years that a star can live.

134 Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar December 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Haha!! Love it!

135 Brooke December 28, 2012 at 11:23 pm

This just made my night, mostly because it feels like you were eavesdropping on a conversation I often have with my friend. She always ends up exasperated with me. I’m not quite sure why.

Brooke
http://loveunintentional.com
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136 Shannon December 29, 2012 at 12:24 am

I rewcmmend reading afet4r a half boittl;e of pink miscakto, yoiu cant concebterare on reading and you are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 <3 u so much jenny!!

137 Cheryl D. December 29, 2012 at 1:35 am

That would make a lovely holiday card!
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138 HogsAteMySister December 29, 2012 at 5:09 am

Friends cannot die or burn out if they have grown a Christmas Goatee.

It’s a universal law.

Trust Brad Pitt and me on this.
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139 Shannon December 29, 2012 at 6:48 am

obviously, I lose the ability to type after a half bottle of Pink Mascato as well….
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140 Jenna K December 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

It’s a tree falling in the forest thing. They’re not dead until/unless we perceive them as dead. Don’t say “you’re dead to me” unless you’re dead serious.

141 Cassie Sue December 29, 2012 at 3:05 pm

It reminds me of a while back when I said “I like my men like I like my coffee, strong and rich” then my sister and I came up with various endings to “I like my men like I like my coffee…”

“…in a cup”
“…made with a lot of non-dairy creamer”
“…ground up and in my freezer”
“…on ice”

Needless to say, it got weird quickly. :)

142 Shyann December 29, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Happy Birthday Jenny.

143 John December 29, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I was going to make some politically incorrect jokes about white dwarves and red giants, but I’ll just say Happy new Year instead!

144 aliceblue December 30, 2012 at 12:03 am

I LOVE this post!! My dad is an astrophysicist and I always got scientific answers to “kid” questions (note to parents if your child is between 2-4, she does not want the real answer to “why is the sky blue?”)
May I offer “Fake friends are like stars; balls of gas who appear close but are actually very distant.”

145 Heidi Bryan December 30, 2012 at 9:51 am

This totally sounds like a conversation I would have with my husband…
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146 Joanne December 30, 2012 at 10:06 am

Love this! I want to have this printed on a mug and share with my friends!
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147 Amy December 30, 2012 at 11:14 am

Reminds me of one of my husband’s favorite sayings: “Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.”
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148 ppg December 30, 2012 at 11:26 am

I think many of the people we currently see, much like the stars, are already burnt-out and dead, but we just don’t know it yet and it makes me want to hug each and every one of them on the chance they have just a little light left in them.

149 Nat December 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Is that a bit Schroedinger? you don’t know if the star-friends are alive or burnt-dead at any given moment?
It may not be romantic, but it is more accurate….

150 Punky Coletta December 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Yay for metaphors!

151 Andreas Heinakroon December 30, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Science to the rescue once again. Makes me feel proud of my former profession.

152 terrina December 31, 2012 at 7:37 am

I never get tired of this.

153 ClevelandPoet December 31, 2012 at 7:46 am

stars are like friends because I like to look at both with my telescope.
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154 Holly from 300 Pounds Down December 31, 2012 at 9:09 am

Glad my mind isn’t the only one working this way!! hahaha.
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155 Molly Dugger Brennan December 31, 2012 at 9:33 am

My grandma used to say “Friends are like stars, they shine a light for you when you’re in the dark.” Grandma was exceptionally kind. I like the dead and on fire thing better. Seems more real to me.
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156 Mona - Moxie-Dude December 31, 2012 at 10:10 am

Total logic!

157 Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity December 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I think I love you.

It is true, that most of the stars we see aren’t there anymore. But does light or sound travel faster? Will we hear a sonic boom when the star finally blows?

I need to do a blog series: Things that aren’t there anymore. Then I can really depress the shit out of people and make them WISH that December 21st wasn’t actually Mayan April Fool’s Day.

This is going to be fun. Thanks for the inspiration, Jenny!
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158 RJ December 31, 2012 at 8:28 pm

How about this: Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.
I found that somewhere on the internet, can’t remember where, but I thought it would be fitting!

-RJ

159 Tesla January 4, 2013 at 1:51 am

This is being featured over of the I fucking love science page but they didn’t cite you. Lots of readers pointed out their mistake so maybe this will be worked out by the time you wake up. So, never mind.

160 Jessica January 4, 2013 at 3:59 am

I just saw this featured on “I fucking love science” facebook page! :) epic.

161 Jenn January 4, 2013 at 11:12 am

Yep… Saw it shared on Facebook from there, no credit given though…

162 Kristine January 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm

I read this last week, and then this week saw that I Fucking Love Science posted it on their FB page . In the comments, someone directs it back to you, but I didn’t see that the original post had any reference. . .

163 Jessica January 6, 2013 at 11:47 am

Saw this on 9gag too.. I totally had to research it, and I found your site. Highlarious!

164 qadar January 8, 2013 at 6:17 am

haha..i love my friends although not as many as stars.
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165 hoodyhoo January 16, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Or as I said to myself upon seeing that stupid plaque today… “They never seem to go out, but when they do it causes an explosion.”
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166 Caroline January 20, 2013 at 1:40 pm

I read this just now to my husband, because we’re amused by a similar brand of nonsense. I thought you’d like to know that whenever I read him stuff from the Blogess, I preface that with “you know, the “totally radished her” lady,” and that’s how he knows you.

167 Naked Girl in a Dress January 22, 2013 at 5:46 am

I think there should be greeting cards with that sentiment on it.
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