Gravity's still working

You know when you run into a wall that has been there for literally the entire time you’ve lived in your house and you practically knock yourself out running into it, and then your husband comes in and instead of helping you up he just sighs and shakes his head like “This?  Again?”  And then you’re all, “Gravity’s still working” and he looks baffled and so you painstakingly explain “The gravity is still on.  I just checked.  YOU’RE WELCOME” and then he looks even more confused than usual?

My whole life is made of those moments.


And in other news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:

(Image courtesy of the Magnificent Mr. Shaw.)

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by Just a Drop – featured on Dr. Oz. From the creators: “Just a Drop is the revolutionary personal bathroom odor eliminator that works BEFORE you go.  Simply place a drop into the toilet BEFORE you go and Just a Drop forms a seal on the surface of the water preventing any foul odors from escaping into the air.  Made from plant extract and safe for the environment.”


145 replies. read them below or add one

  1. LOL! I hope you’re all right! Thanks for checking on the gravity for us. We’re all grateful. ;)

    Devon S recently posted It's the little things.

  2. Is gravity bigger in Texas?

    daniel recently posted Season Of Paul?.

  3. I am constantly running into walls. And also banging my hands on door frames. It’s like they haven’t been attached to my body my entire life.

    Unfortunately my children have also inherited my clumsiness.

    Or my need to check on gravity.

    Jaime recently posted Homemade Friday: Jack Skellington Gloves.

  4. Haha! My husband has the same response towards all of my klutziness now. When we were first married, he would be so concerned when I would hurt myself, and now, he is just so very used to it!

    Punky Coletta recently posted Um. I’m not sure what to call this. Maybe, ‘Snow Penis?’.

  5. 2 weeks ago when part of our furnace exploded and filled our house with stinky smoke, in the dead of winter, I had to prop open the kitchen door to get airflow (no screens in the winter). To keep curious cats from going outside, I decided to close this neat little half-door the separates the kitchen from the rest of the house.
    I never use it.
    Guess who rammed right the fuck into it less than 5 minutes after closing it?


    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Contest Tweets Are Like Car Alarms.

  6. I check to make sure the gravity is on nearly every day. usually with my head somehow.

  7. Well, that’s a relief. It’s a tough job being the gravity checker, but someone has to do it.

    Lix recently posted 5x7 Print Any Photograph by lixhewettphotography.

  8. This happens to me all the time but instead of walls it’s the corners of furniture.

    Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted Super Friends Season 2, Episode 10 – “The Collector”.

  9. I had to call my husband this morning to come an help me b/c I got toothpaste in my eye. I have no idea how the hell that happened. Word to the wise – if you ever need to stop an intruder dead in their tracks squirt toothpaste into their eyes. It hurts like a MoFo.
    So yes, I completely understand those moments.

    Keri recently posted YOP Update Feb 10th.

  10. Gravity failing is why the wife lets the pets sleep on the bed. If gravity fails then the quilt stays because the pets hold it in place. At least that’s the excuse she uses :-)
    It needs to be tested regularly to make sure its still there

  11. I was worried there for a second because I’ve felt less heavy for a while. Thanks for checking!

    Amelia recently posted Annoyance (a love story).

  12. Well, that’s a relief.

  13. Ha ha I saw this post tweeted and my first thought was, uh-oh, what did you trip over??

    I run into doors all the time – but my excuse is, they move. And then my husband pokes my bruises because he’s SO SYMPATHETIC.

    CL Frey recently posted Places When I Think of Home.

  14. Happens to me. All. The. Fucking. Time.

  15. I used to have an enemy: a coffee table in our living room. I had bruises on my tights all the time.
    The table is now gone. I am left with bruises on my arms from door handles.

  16. …And in the process you’ve checked that the fabric of the universe is holding itself together. If you’d been able to run *through* a wall that had always been there, well, you’d know you were in trouble…

    Claire J recently posted Dream Catcher.

  17. I did this once and I hit the corner of the wall SO HARD that I got such a HUGE goose egg and an ugly black eye that I could no go in public for a week for fear of freaking people out. AND, I still have a “dent” in my eyebrow from the encounter. UGH.

    Shawntel recently posted From Students to LEARNERS!.

  18. In addition to your proof that gravity is still at work, I also have scientific evidence that inanimate objects are secretly conspiring to plan my untimely demise, but only at certain times of the month. It can’t be coincidence.

    It could be happening to you, too.

    Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense recently posted What Do Light Switches, Strike Plates, and Flip-Flops Have in Common?.

  19. I think I broke a rib laughing at the sponser blurb.

  20. I’m never clever enough to explain the bruises on my shins from walking into the coffee table every gorramed day of my life.

    OTOH, I do trip over my own feet / dust / thin air so often that I’ve decided that I am tripping over the dead bodies of the Silence. I mean, the Doctor told us to start killing them all in 1969, but he didn’t tell us what to do with said bodies. I assume they’ve been piling up in the 40+ years since then, so they’re everywhere.

  21. My bedroom door is like that for me. I swear to God I run into it EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

    thedoseofreality recently posted Not To Go Too Jerry Maguire On You….

  22. Thank you. Just thank you. Some days need more crazy laughter than others, and you are always there to provide it.

  23. There is a giant, red, white & blue rooster near where I live and I think he needs to meet Beyonce. I think about her when I drive by it.

  24. 25
    Little Miss Sunshine

    Add that shit to your resume! Personal Gravity Checker.

  25. My biggest mistake EVER in life was buying a glass topped desk off craigslist. Because OBVIOUSLY, it is invisible. The bruises on my thighs, however, are not.

    Cindy - The Reedster Speaks recently posted I’m Chill Like That..

  26. I bump into door frames all the time.

  27. Sadly all the links to the Dr. Who mini episodes are non functional, at least for me. I was so excited but then I just wanted to run full tilt into a wall.

    I try to emulate you in all things.

  28. You are not alone…I check gravity at least once a day, often with my face

    Maple Syrup Land recently posted Outhouse phobias are perfectly reasonable.

  29. The people in Russia are probably going

    “Couldn’t you have checked this last week? Sheesh”

    Lori recently posted Anti Bullshit Powder.

  30. I have no doors in my house for just this reason. It does make going to the ladies room awkward when there are guests over though.

    stace recently posted Zombie Tarot: Broken Heart Spread.

  31. I was testing gravity a couple of days ago myself!

    Melissa Lawler recently posted February Shenanigans Kalorik Breakfast Set Give-Away.

  32. My mom used to never believe me when I said “I don’t know” in response to her asking me how I got various bruises and cuts. But it was really true – I would fall over and run into things so often that the resulting injuries didn’t even register in my brain anymore. Unless I broke something.

  33. You know what’s going to really awesome? The day that you actually walk THROUGH that wall. That’ll show him!

    Kat recently posted When Mothers Yell To Bite Them.

  34. “WTF Evolution” is classic… of course it is also the mantra of fair and balanced Fox News…

    Still waiting for the gravity thing to hit my ass. Not gonna be pretty.

    brahm (alfred lives here) recently posted See This Movie: The Sessions.

  35. Good to know the gravity is still on. I would hate to have all the shit in my house that needs to be put away floating around the rooms.

    My Half Assed Life recently posted Who Flushed A Potato Down The Toilet?.

  36. You could always say that you making sure you don’t have an entrance to Platform 9 3/4 in your house.

    Kara recently posted OWH Presidents’ Day VCMP Challenge 7.

  37. We have a version of that Just a Drop business called Poo-Pourri. That shit really works. (See what I did there?)

    Amy recently posted Big News. Big. Huge..

  38. The gravity was disabled at my house the other day. That’s what I get for using the leftover dried up mushrooms I found leftover from my childhood to garnish my salad.

    Banana Stickers recently posted Zesty as Fuck.

  39. Totally stealing that. I run into stuff all the time. I’ll find bruises on myself and my husband’s like, “Where did you get that?” My response, “I have no idea.” It’s true, no clue. Glad I’m not the only one.

  40. I believe Eminem had the same realization a few years ago.

    That WTFEvolution page is hilarious.

    P.S. Bought your book, had it delivered. I’m very curious but I am forcing myself to finish my current book before starting yours. Wouldn’t be fair otherwise.

    Sabrina recently posted Giant Double Chocolate Cookies.

  41. Bloggess you know what? We need to keep having these updates from you because hello? Thank God for small mercies right? You’re a hero!

    Miss Gee recently posted System Overhaul.

  42. I want to thank evolution for not giving me a penis behind the head, and also for making me feel like human sex is downright sanitary.

    Anne Stinnett (Wickedelfchild) recently posted My Inner Child is an Idiot.

  43. Oh course it is still working….my boobs testify to that every moment of the day. (except when I am in a pool) then it disappears and I am happy, but hubby said I could not live in the water all the time. Glad it is working where you live too.

    Elizabeth W recently posted It’s my Bday…and I’m gonna party like….nevermind, I’m too tired.

  44. You might like this. Or want to report my friend for cruelty to cat:

  45. It’s all your fault that I just watched slug porn. For the rest of the day that rope of mucus is going to keep appearing randomly in my head. Noooooooooo!

    Nara recently posted Is it a facepalm if you’re using a wing?.

  46. Why doesn’t anyone ever appreciate when we check to make sure gravity is still working for them? No one in my house appreciates it either.

  47. Yeah, that’s frequently my method of self defense. Confuse him worse so he can’t make fun of me anymore. Or at least go to the point where I’m laughing madly and further conversation is futile.

    I love the image that Mr. Shaw did for you.

    So….did the Just a Drop folks like, know, when they handed you money? Because I think it’s an awesome sponsorship, but I just wondered.

    Jen recently posted When is a breeder a puppy mill?.

  48. Some people just don’t appreciate the pursuit of science, Jenny.
    I don’t know about you, but the walls in my house reconfigure every few days, so gravity is the least of my problems…

  49. Hmmm, I would probably need ‘Just a Gallon”.

  50. Gravity is indeed working. I was reminded lately when, after losing almost fifty pounds, my pancake boobs flopped out beneath my UNDERwire. You know, the wire whose entire job is to stay UNDER my boobs?


    Tricia Lorntson recently posted Pussy Wars up in the Hood.

  51. I think you are my long lost twin. I do the same thing all the time.

  52. My father-in-law built a gravity alarm many years ago. If gravity fails, the bowling ball rises, and the buzzers alert. I feel so safe.

  53. Ah, the practical applications of physics! I test for gravity when my husband is lying on the floor and I jump on him from the couch yelling ‘GRAVITY!’ I figure, it’s not my fault that I land on him, it’s the gravity that’s pulling me down. He doesn’t think it’s half as funny as I do.

    Lisa recently posted Wandering around the internet..

  54. I’m totally going to steal that the next time I fall, which is inevitably soon. Am I a total dork that can’t stay upright to save my life? Nope. I’m a frickin genius checking on gravity for the safety of others. I love it!!

    Tammy recently posted Music I Need to Share.

  55. lol

    I have those days, too. My current blog post is how I got covered in powdered pig poop.

    Visionary Bri recently posted If I Had a Fortune Cookie.

  56. LOVE the new wrap up pic – adorable!

    jesspants recently posted wild weekend in the 651.

  57. In my house we call it “the clumsy times”. Happens on a rotating monthly basis. Its how the boyfriend knows whats happening.

  58. Dang. Most of those Dr. Who links don’t function. Copyright infringement.

  59. can you check again? I want to make sure it’s still working.

    Marinka recently posted Love.

  60. I miss doorways all the time. This one time I gave myself a DIY nose job. Turned a little too quickly while standing a little too close to the doorjamb. CRACK! In my own defense, my nose does stick out kind of far.

    I can’t believe you didn’t include my workout video shot entirely on location in Target in your “shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with…” section. Maybe if I had done it naked…

    MILF Runner recently posted Pushing Speedwork.

  61. I read “weekly wrap up” as “weekly strap on”.

    In fairness, I’ve just woken up having fallen asleep in front of the TV.

    James recently posted The spoils system.

  62. Thank you so much for making sure gravity is till working. You have no idea how often I wake up in the middle of the night frightened that I will float off the face of the earth.

    Also, random evolutionary fact for you: Evolutionists believe that the uakari has a red face because when primates first developed stereoscopic vision, they were attracted to the color red since it usually led to fruit. Plus, red is sexy. Nuff said.

    FrenchFishFry recently posted Photo.

  63. I think I will use “Just a Drop” to test the gravity in our house. I wonder if I can purchase it by the gallon and spread it around my bulldog, Wonderbutt’s, Poop Pen? Or, maybe I can just apply it directly to his bottom?

    whatimeant2say recently posted This Cookie Monster Has Gone out of Control.

  64. God, again, so glad I’m not the only one doing this shit. Last year I was going through the kitchen doorway & managed to walk IN TO the damn woodwork, miscalculating the turn by at least 2 inches. I cracked my head so hard that I thought I had a concussion & went to have it checked. Everything was “Normal”, whatever that is.
    Oh, and whatever you do, don’t leave a hammer on top of a ladder while you’re movig it, cuz it will totally try to do a Marcia Brady football number on your nose.

  65. Okay now this drop in the toilet thing. How does it deal with the poop smell that builds up as the poop is falling to the toilet bowl? I mean there is a gap there isn’t there.

    Kimberly Wiltshire recently posted Black Bean Sauce and Gran Canaria Island weird times..

  66. Next time make Victor check the gravity.

    Melissa recently posted My Radical 80s-themed 30th Birthday Picture Gallery.

  67. So you are telling me my daughter is going to be you when she grows up? We have lived in this house since before she was born and she still can’t make it through the doorways without flat out hitting the wall right next to the door or at the very least taking out the trim around the door. Hope she writes an awesome book and can support me in my old age. ;)
    I also have a suggestion for your Zazzle shop, would it be possible to sell your cards by the box, only one of each card in the box. Same with the buttons. I would buy a box or two since it would involve one purchase versus having to click on each card to purchase individually. Why yes, I am lazy, thanks for asking. ;) Love ya.

  68. This is how I test for gravity.

    It only works if your assistant is a real cow.

    HogsAteMySister recently posted Humor During Lent?.

  69. HAHAH the cartoon image of you on Beyonce is incredible.

    Christina @ The Beautiful Balance recently posted [Almost] Traditional Falafel.

  70. I’m SO glad it’s not just me then….

  71. I had a moment like that today when I dropped four eggs on the floor at once. Yep. Still working.

    Holly Folly recently posted So King the Backhoe has a Flat Tire..

  72. I hit myself with a car door three times in a week. I’m used to that car door, but it still took me by surprise.

    Robyn Webb recently posted My Boyfriend is a Party Pooper. He Won't Buy Me 1500 Ladybuys.

  73. In response to comment #2…. Yes, actually it is!!!! Gravity is uneven, based on the density of rocks on the surface of the earth, so it’s stronger in Texas than it is, for example, closer to the middle of the US. (not entirely sure if I explained that correctly, but I learned this from a link in a tweet from @tweetsauce on twitter. Sorry that’s so vague.)

  74. Is there something wrong with me that I think the funniest part of this is the sponsor? They don’t need to test this on cute, giggling women on Oprah. They need to test this on teenage boys and farting men who eat too much meat, queso dip with pinto beans, and other things with packaging that has warnings about anal leakage.

    ps – I find it endearing that you walk into walls in your own home. Who doesn’t? It builds character … or something.

    Kadesh recently posted On Being an Ally to the LGBTQ Community -- Part Two.

  75. My Husband tries to turn a light switch on that doesn’t exist every time he enters our kitchen. We’ve lived here for 5 years. I sympathize with Victor for the first time ever. I feel this means I’m getting too tightly wound for my own good.

    Sara recently posted Cartoons with Jack.

  76. I going to remember that line for the next time I trip over something. “Gravity’s still working. You’re welcome.


    Sue recently posted VNSA Book Sale 2013.

  77. I know exactly what you mean. My husband never appriciates those little things I do for him either… it’s like he thinks these things will just check themselves. *shakes head* men.

    @Casey_L_Clark recently posted Still typing away....

  78. Thank you for the linking to WTF evolution. That shit is awesome. And… sometimes walls just jump in front of me. Not even near doorways.

  79. “WTF, evolution…” my new fav nightmare-inducing website. thx for that.

  80. Just a Drop – I’ve read that pretty much any essential oil will work the same way. Whew. Now that information isn’t clogging up my brain anymore, trying to get out.

    Lena recently posted John Cleese: A Lecture on Creativity.

  81. This would be when my husband helpfully says “Gravity is law, not a suggestion.”

    On a happier note, my older brother would miss doors on purpose to make us ROFL. Best babysitter ever.

  82. This is a great comfort to me. Today I had a long conversation with myself explaining how I can actually see out the rear view mirror when it is tipped down to reflect only the back seat.

    Kathleen recently posted Myna Birds.

  83. I never think of anything clever to say when I run into walls. Usually it’s just “Fuck!”, but I’m kind of limited.

    Adrasteia recently posted I drew a chessboard! Sort of..

  84. Due to my frequency of walking into doors, My husband actually suggested that it would be best if I walked around with knee pads and a helmet so i dont get long lasting concussion symptoms. Also, i just ripped the tip of my toe off walking past my pug’s bone that he selfishly left on the floor. Seriously, gravity and my asshole pugs are killing me. I can feel my heartbeat in my toe.

  85. I love that this post is sponsored by… Just a Drop. I love that Jenny didn’t crack any jokes here as they are thoroughly unnecessary for…Just a Drop.

  86. I was at an art gallery yesterday and was blown away by this bad boy. My husband and I immediately thought of you. Peace.

  87. Technically, If you run into something, you are likely testing Inertia is working, not gravity, unless running into it makes you fall down… :)

  88. You made my day with the “just a drop.” Dr. Oz really knows his shit. There goes my fear of shitting in other people’s bathrooms. :)

    Emily recently posted The teletubbies: the real face of diversity. And douchebaggery..

  89. Sounds like this was a gravity test, but also a check-that-Victor-is-still-paying-attention test. I, for one, am glad that both are in operation. Two birds stoned at once.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted Phase two of growing a tiny human.

  90. I’ve walked through our sliding screen door enough times that my husband actually removed the entire thing. He would ask why, but the answer was always the same… I was checking to see if I could walk through walls yet. Guess not. :(

    Vanessa recently posted Valent...I Give Up Day!.

  91. Do they make “Just a drop” that you can tape to your ass for farts? Just curious… and gravity’s still on over here, my tits can attest to that…

    Blogging Mom Kelly recently posted Bedtime: The Reason Parents Drink.

  92. Ha! I’m CONSTANTLY running into walls (and furniture, etc). Now my son has started running into door frames, too. My husband always gives me “that” look, too; I’m totally using your “gravity’s still working” line next time.

  93. i’m just thinking if my boss is shitting in my toilet i think i have bigger problems than the odor.

    monica recently posted I'd rather say "I love you" with clean undies, but that's probably just me..

  94. My husband would have said “you’re taking yourself to get stitches this time. I’m tired of how they look at me.”

  95. The other day I fell up the stairs again. Up. Again. WTF. I think there’s a zero gravity switch in my house and someone is screwing with me.

    Julie recently posted Your kidneys are bleeding. Don’t freak out..

  96. I personally am a fan of that old excuse, ‘Hey, the ground look sad and I’m a nice person, I had to high-five it!’
    Don’t worry, I too am one of those people who lacks simple co-ordination (or is it just memory? Should I really be expected to remember that I put my handbag by my feet when I sat down, though?).

    Klementine recently posted Sophistication > Immaturity. It’s a pity foolishness is so fun!.

  97. That conversation with Jay-Z and that lady,…yeah. That’s me. ‘Cept I’m not famous and nobody recognizes me.

    The Cheeky Daddy

    Jason recently posted Flight of the Conchords.

  98. Hi, i just wanted to share this Small secret with all of the lovely Moms Here: This is How I get Free Johnson’s Baby Kit
    thanks for sharinh with other moms :)

  99. Walking into walls, tripping over edges that aren’t there, sliding on the floor where everyone else can walk perfectly fine, I hear ya!

    Vicky recently posted Back to Dresses.

  100. Yeah, I check gravity all the time…

    Kattie recently posted Losing interest.

  101. thank goodness you still had your wits about you after the collision and didn’t let a bump on the head alter your perception of gravity for the rest of us. It would be hard to explain to all my friends (well acquaintances) why they all started to float into space….

  102. Boobs falling to the ground. Stretching out like tennis balls in socks. Falling behind my back and having to be hauled up the side of me with pulleys and levers. That is what I thought this post was going to be about when I read the title “Gravity’s still working” I will say that I do also have experience running into doors. So now I will use the gravity check as an explanation. As usual…thanks!!!

    Holly from 300 Pounds Down recently posted Alcohol and other Transfer Addictions.

  103. I check to see if gravity is working all the time. My husband just thinks I’m clumsy but I’m not, I’m really doing him a favor. :)

    Tanya recently posted The Best WordPress Anti-Spam Plugins for 2012-2013.

  104. Well, at least your still here. Because we’ll miss you when you stop writing blog posts…we need our laugh a day

  105. I tend to test out the impact strength of the floor too, while i’m testing gravity.

    “Yup, this floor’s pretty sound. Very solid.”

    thedavidcmurphy recently posted Hey Roomie!.

  106. Because of you I now need a Pintervention. My husband is somewhat less than thrilled. His problem.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted WTF?! What an asshat!.

  107. I am very good about doing regular gravity checks for my family too. I think they should write me thank you notes.
    Carrie from Just Mildly Medicated

    Carrie recently posted The begining of a trip to the Mayo Clinic, Night Ranger and Roller Coasters.

  108. Don’t you just love those smart asses that say, “There’s a wall there, ya know?” Yeah, me either.

    batpoopcrazy recently posted Oh Dear Gawd, It’s a Spider!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  109. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into stationary objects. I immediately jump to “my contacts are fuzzy, it’s messing with my depth perception.” Everyone knows I’m just a clown.

    Lady recently posted Oh, NOW he wants to play..

  110. My gravity checks usually involve dropping expensive fragile things. Like my iPhone. Again.

    And the unexplained bruises? No idea. Have them all the time. Genuinely haven’t a clue where they came from.

    MamaRama recently posted [imaginary] Dr Phil interviews Rama.

  111. Oh hell, I don’t even need a wall. I trip over my own two feet all day long. But I will tell you what’s been getting me lately – toddler gates. I try to step over them and typically end up tripping and going down into a heap. They should come with some type of warning: “Unless you’re an Olympic hurdler, do not attempt to jump over.”

    Crystal recently posted Naked Actresses You Don’t Need to Envy.

  112. This might be my favorite sponsor ever. FYI.

    Dana the Biped recently posted Read This! The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede.

  113. Whenever I drop stuff, I always say, “stupid gravity”. My kids even say it now.

    uniqueweirdness recently posted I’m Sorry, You Have the Wrong Number.

  114. why does the doctor hate me? None of the episodes work and there is no comment page for me to say anything on the site…

    Ronja Zigler recently posted Back on line!.

  115. Magical poo stink stopper? That’s amazing. AMAZING, I tell you. Not that I’ve tried it. But I’m intrigued.

    Katie recently posted Gold! Always Believe In Your Soul: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

  116. After watching little children just learning how to ice skate play hockey all weekend I too can attest that gravity is still turned on. It’s a good thing those kids wear pads and helmets. It’s something that you might want to look into. Pads and helmets could prevent injury to yourself while testing Newton’s basic laws of physics.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  117. Haha! My shoulders have permanent bruises on them from mashing them into doorways. It’s almost a daily occurrence.

    Devon recently posted Snowmaggedon arrives at our house, I react accordingly, by which I mean I pretty much sit on the couch the whole time.

  118. Apparently your blog-love has a down side. It appears that all the attention has caused all the Dr. Who mini-episodes to be pulled for copyright infringement.

  119. I have a long history of walking into things. If my (ex)husband witnessed it, he would nicely say, “we just put that there.”

  120. Run into walls, then turn around and run into them again. Fall up the stairs and collapse after standing. Awe yes gravity is a wonder I want punished.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate,

    Tiffany recently posted I Am Woman Hear Me Yawn!!!.

  121. LOL white people CAN dance! Also, go home evolution…you’re drunk.

    xo Ashley

    Ashley recently posted Video: Christmas Sales Haul.

  122. Um, I totally feel like your hoo-ha is getting tentanus from sitting like that on Beyonce. It’s disturbing.

  123. Dr. Oz features snake oil with the same fervor as real medical information. Getting sponsored by something he featured may sound good to the sheep but I’ve seen email accounts hacked and used to virally spread links selling products he’s “featured.” Next, he’ll be promoting cures for three-inch white hairs on your forehead and who knows where that could lead?

  124. Is this where I can thank you for just making me feel like it’s ok to deal with sometimes crippling depression and to believe that normal is a fruitless and (let’s be honest) stupid pursuit? You make me feel that way and I am grateful.

  125. So the most insane thing in that post is the sponsor. Holy crap (pun only semi-intended). Well played Jenny, well played.

    JJ - 84thand3rd recently posted Goat Milk, Honey & Plum Swirl Ice Cream – and an interview with Canberra Urban Honey.

  126. I run into the corner of our couch almost every day. My whole side of my very large thigh is bruised up because of it. And every time, my lovely husbands says “Watch out, we just loved that couch there!” thinking he is hysterical.

    He’s not.

  127. I run into the corner of our couch(that hasn’t been moved since we got it) every single day. My very large thigh is bruised up constantly because of this. And every time my husband says “Watch out, I just moved that couch there!” thinking he is funny.

    He is not.

    Erin recently posted Children.

  128. You and my boss have that in common, then. Every time he runs into a wall in our office, I think to myself, “If we ever get to design a new office space, I’m totally getting all the corners rounded off the walls.” I have also had to discreetly text him not once, but TWICE to alert him to the fact that he evidently walked under a pooping bird at exactly the wrong time, as there was avian dookie on the back of his shirt.

    Anonyvox recently posted Gone to the Dogs.

  129. I do gravity checks all the time!! And mine are totally unappreciated too. Just watch: One day we’ll forget to check; the gravity will go out and THEY’LL BE SORRY!! Won’t they!?!?!

    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted How We Accidentally Weaned Benjamin From His Pacifier.

  130. This is kind of like that time I ran into the (glass) door at work. Except I work in a restaurant, so my husband missed out. The guests all saw though. Then I went home early. Because I’d knocked my tooth (mostly) out of socket. The next day (after working! at a restaurant! with a painful and embarrassing lisp!) the dentist put a brace on my tooth that stayed for two months. My tooth is still just a little off kilter. ????

  131. I was all excited for an extra dose of Dr. Who! Boohoo is more like it now. I hate YouTube some times!

    As far as walking into walls? Yeah, all the time. I usually hit the corners though, trying to take them a little too sharply I guess. I’ve not turned around and walked full on into a wall. That takes a special kind of person. :) You are indeed very special.

    LeAnnWoo recently posted Dumb Ways to Die.

  132. Husband calls me the Epitome of Poise and Grace. Ususally right after I walk into a wall or trip over my own feet. Snort.

    Jess recently posted Yes Medusa, my hair IS trying to kill me (or: You won't like it when it's ANGRY).

  133. I like to check for gravity when I’m walking down the stairs. I take extra care to put in one final step even when the floor is now level. Slamming your foot into the floor because you were expecting to reach it 7 inches later, is great for the knees – or so I hear

    Kim @ The Family Practice Blog recently posted Mr. Freeze Exists! Here’s Proof.

  134. Thanks for checking!! I didn’t want to do that myself. I hope you are ok.

    Mexmom recently posted Love & Friendship.

  135. HAHA…love that chicken.

  136. I personally would be highly grateful to you for periodic gravity checks.

    Morraha recently posted Silly Worrywort..

  137. Damn. I read gravity as “gravy” and now I really want some gravy with mashed potatoes. Fail.

  138. 139

    Oh no! Glad you are alright- and I’m stealing that whole “gravity is working” thing because if it’s not me falling, it’s something that I’ve just randomly decided I don’t want to hold anymore. I am the Queen of Dropping Shit.

    Oh and I’ve been cracking up at wtfevolution for the last half hour. Thank you for sharing that!!

  139. Ok Jenny this one sooooooooo utterly freaking sounds like me OMG! Seriously except I don’t usually walk into walls, I seem to catch my foot on EVERYTHING! My poor husband has learned to do the same as Victor, simply sits there and shakes his head as I am trying my utmost not to cry over the again broken toe or foot. At this point I have broken my toes and feet so many times they are frightening to look at, and I try to! Ew! Feet are ugly anyway lol. But seriously, you know the little metal corner piece on your box spring of your bed? Ours sits on the floor, and you know how tight it is to the box spring right? No one could possibly get anything between that metal plate and the box spring right? WRONG! I was walking past, not anywhere near as far as I can tell, when I somehow managed to catch my baby toe INSIDE THE FREAKING METAL CORNER! UGh I almost ripped my toe off, not only did I break my already ugly baby toe but I fractured the stinking top of my foot as well. Only me. Well and maybe someone else out there has the same issue where inanimate objects jump out and grab your feet?? Love you Jenny thank you for being awesome! You make my day!

  140. LOVE the image of you riding Beyonce!

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Recently Named One of Top Ten Blogs in the World.

  141. For some unknown reason, my husband enjoys reminding me of the time I was sitting down and fell over onto the floor – stone cold sober. Hey – better than falling off a ladder.

  142. 144
    Telzey Amberdon

    Thank you for introducing us to WTFevolution. We’re having a lot of “learning-time” fun with it. *GOBLIN SHARK!!! eeeeeek!*

  143. Wow. That justadrop thing is a real thing. Yay for new white elephant gifts!

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