Twitter is confusing

HA! This is hilarious! And so true. Take that Bloggess from random stranger who you don’t know. Way to really tell her what you think!
thedoseofreality recently posted..Don’t Grill a Steak, Grill Your Man on Valentine’s Day!

I don’t understand Twitter. I got a Twitter account so I could follow you (honestly!) I do follow other people and organizations as well, but you were the first. Despite that, I don’t really get it. I’m much more of a Facebook-er.
Alison from Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Scottish Folk Music recently posted..When I hear (Clydesdale) hoofbeats, I think Scotland not beer

The fuck, Strangers?!

I’ve been online for years,even though I’m still somewhat of a n00b, I have learned one thing about the internet, though. Real people is in sad need of a reality check and spammers in sore need of grammar lessons.

Twitter IS confusing as heck.
Cara(Eli) recently posted..Books and knitting. Best kind of escape

I agree. 100%. I’ve always followed the philosopy of “what you think of me is not my business” yet when people unfollow you it’s like they’re trying to make it your business. Now THAT’S imposing. And clearly they’re control freaks.
Mona – Moxie-Dude recently posted..Morning routine. Because writing this down has helped me see that I am not the problem here.

Could be worse. I’ve had IRL people spy on my tweets and get pissy. Real life needs to stay away from my catty cyber life. Because my imaginary cyber friends are much cooler.
Kerry Ann @Vinobaby’s Voice recently posted..Review: The Obvious Game by Rita Arens

I am equally baffled by Twitter but for much different reasons!

Kudos, once again, for blogging effectively about the crazy stuff people do! My post for today was a reflection on the odd things my spouse put in our Amazon shopping cart when I wasn’t looking. I swear I am not making any of it up. But more importantly, I’m thankful that the people around me always give me something to write about!

http://www.momintwocultures.com/2013/02/does-any-of-this-seem-strange-to-you.html
Mom in Two Cultures recently posted..Does Any of This Seem Strange to You?

If you look like Gandalf when baffled, you might want to consider having some eyebrow work done. I seriously doubt his wizard brow will look good on you.

Also, I’m not unfollowing you on twitter, so there.
Lynnea L Taylor recently posted..Conversations with my Husband

1. IDGAF (I Dont Give A Fuck)

2. Dont let the door hit you in the tits.

I guess I’m really on the weird side, because I find nothing The Bloggess says offensive, and in fact think she’s wayyyyy over there on the ‘inspiring’ side of things. So Random Strangers? Whatever. Take your ball and go home. We’ll keep playing without you.
Maureen O’Danu recently posted..Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere is Still Amazing

I have no words for people who do stupid shit like this. Although, I guess it doesn’t make me much better with commenting on the post you made about them. Damn. We just gave them way more time in our heads than they have any right to have. Shit.

You know you’ve arrived when people announce that they’re unfollowing you.
(I haven’t arrived. Please, someone: Unfollow me. Loudly and publicly.)
Daddy Scratches recently posted..And then I got into a political argument with Boston Red Sox pitching legend Curt Schilling

Well just for that I am going to go follow you now. And if you don’t say something really offensive in the next couple of days I will have to unfollow you and not tell you! So there!
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted..An Interview With Your Hostess

I think that ‘I’m unfriending you’ is more shorthand for Douches. What it really says is this: ‘Hi, I’m a pathetic douchetickler. Though I’m aware we’ve never interacted in any way and I am not famous, I’m just so god-damned awesome in my mind that you should know who I am without me ever having to expend any effort. I’m going to go over there now, to shine my own particular brand of bullshit and leave your world a little brighter because of it.’

i’m mainly just offended that it’s not the good old days of 2007 and we’re having wine for breakfast. that’s fair, right?

I was thrilled to get my very first Cease & Desist order last year, but I still feel sad when someone un-likes my Facebook page. Better put big-girl panties on my shopping list. What brand do you recommend?
Chuck Baudelaire recently posted..Why Not Ask Some Rhetorical Questions?

This feels like 3rd grade. You know, where the douchey kid holds his Chuck E Cheese Power Ranger themed birthday over your head. Like, “I’m not your friend anymore and you can’t come to my birthday party.” And you’re all like “dude, I only go to Chuck E Cheese for the Skee Ball, and you know, I hate the Power Rangers.”

This is a true life experience, except I actually really DO like the Power Rangers. I kind of got lost in my own analogy. And now I really want to play some Skee Ball.
Ashley recently posted..Crash…into me.

The stupid strangers miss you too. That’s why they have to tell you they’re leaving…it’s a cry for attention! Just like my toddler chasing me from room to room yelling at me to “go away!” *nods sagely*
Erin recently posted..Modifying a Too-Deep Bucket Hat

Well you know what they say, they won’t miss it until it’s gone. It of course being you, in this example.
Holly Folly recently posted..I am the Champion of the Washing Machine.

See, this is why I don’t tweet. It’s invasive in the worst sense of the word. Kinda like Repubicans telling me what to do with my body. They don’t get to have an opinon and neither does the offended asshole.

Blogging is a highly personal activity you choose to share with us. Kinda like abortion; if you don’t want it, don’t have it.

Me? I’m signing up for double portions!
SJ recently posted..Stuff And Nonsense ~ My Stuff and Political Nonsense

If an insult falls in the Twitter, does anyone hear?
Sara @ Travel Escapism recently posted..Top Five Theme Parks in the USA

I am confused. Twitter allows these conversation spies to simply, well, SPY ON YOUR CONVERSATIONS without ever introducing themselves and then when they let you know that they’ve been watching you – secretly – there’s no Twitter jail recourse for their having been hiding there watching you. The fuck, Twitter? It’s like the peeping Tom who taps on the window as you masturbate to tell you he needs you to turn more to the left. Wait…
Arnebya recently posted..Sometimes

This is kind of like the new wedding trend where you email or call people to tell them they are not invited to your wedding. I saw that on Huffington Post.
Watched an old episode of My Three Sons this morning. Everyone was so nice to each other back then and didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I miss that. I miss that a lot.

I don’t like people I don’t know.

I can’t figure out why someone so easily offended would follow you in the first place. I mean, have they not read you at all? It boggles the brain-meats. Really. Says someone else you’ve never heard of before.

I love you and your silliness. Your book made me laugh and cry so much I made my library buy another copy. You’re wonderful.

Why do they need to alert you they’re leaving? Can’t they just “go gentle into that good night?”
Darcy Perdu recently posted..Creepy Stalker Dude’s Tye-Dyed Pillow

This is how I feel about Twitter in general. I tried to do it, but I just didn’t care enough about all those people I didn’t know. I haven’t unfollowed you, Jenny, but then again, I never followed you or anyone else. I guess I am just not cut out for Twitter. Sigh.
Lynne Thomas recently posted..My Algernon Moment

If you STOP saying offensive stuff….I’m going to unfollow you. But I won’t tweet it. Because I’ve never tweeted anything. I just like to lurk around. Instead I’ll just fold my arms in a huff and stomp away.

Assholes do vex me, ever and anon!

Oh, you know me. I know that secretly, though you’ve never actually bothered to follow me on twitter, you are reading my words. And my mind. And when I unfollow you, it will make your sad little life even less meaningful…

Wait. I’m ranting to somebody who doesn’t know me, is a best selling author, and is loved by millions. I’m claiming that, because I feel like I know her, she must know me. Who has a sad little life again? Because I’m feeling a lot less significant than I did before I started reading this post or writing this comment.

That does it. I’m never again unlurking!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love you?

(I love you right back. ~ Jenny)

*ahem* adequateLY
Sabrina recently posted..A walk, a letter, a package and two postcards

I just heard a radio spot this morning that people are sending out “You’re not invited to my wedding” non-invites. This kind of falls in the same were-we-even-friends category.

On Twitter, I had the peanut allergy police jump all over me once when I tweeted something like how much it’d suck to be allergic to peanut butter.
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..Why I Euthanize My Plants

Dear Emperess of words, I have to wonder why I am reading this blog or why I am responding. I am lost in a sea of humans who are self-consumed. You are an inspiration to all in the dark and cold sea. You do know how to warm up a bit of water in your proximity. Good luck with that. “Save it for the stage” Charles Nelson Riley’s mother, msrip.

If it wasn’t for those strangers, we didn’t have this post, so thank you strangers, you made our life funnier.
Mexmom recently posted..Scared much?

Here, this should make you feel better. A stranger recommending an explicit song that talks about wearing “wolfs on your noggin”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes
Enjoy!

One of these days I’m gonna have to join twitter just to be part of the insanity. By the way, you haven’t been offensive in days. If you don’t do something obnoxious pretty soon I’m gonna unfollow you too… you know, if I knew how to follow you in the first place.

ignore them…
they don’t know what they’re missing…
why were they following you anyway if they are easily offended?
That, in itself, is offensive
You have many followers who love you
*hugs*

You have UN-followers? Gadzooks! We should stuff them and line them all up on a firing wall after they die. Just for decoration, ya know? On second thought, let’s pose them in naughty ways…

HA! And I follow you BECAUSE you say offensive things.

People are strange (when you’re a stranger). The Doors were way ahead of their time. It’s like Jim Morrison already knew Twitter was gonna happen.
Mary, QoE recently posted..We interrupt this broadcast. . . .

You seriously need a like button for these comments! Love, love #6 &17!

“Hi, just wanted to let you know that I hate you and I’m no longer listening. Bye!” What is WRONG with humanity? I guess you know you’ve arrived when people contact you just to let you know that they aren’t going to ever contact you again. …in spite of not having contacted you previously. This is actually making my head hurt.
Adrasteia recently posted..I think I’m going to take a class.

“Slightly” less beard! hahaha.
Christina @ The Beautiful Balance recently posted..Pink Velvet Donuts

This was probably said above by some random stranger, in which case rather than being offended they should consider this a “retweeting” of their comment. But I don’t get it … I don’t have a twitter account because my understanding is that it is like a bunch of people posting random probably boring 146 character statements. If, on the other hand, there was a way to only let people post tweets if they were GUARENTEED! to be offensive, well hell yes I would join!! I mean how thought provoking can one really be in 146 characters? Probably in most cases, not so much. How offensive can one possibly be in 146 characters? Please. SO MUCH!

p.s. For those of you who feel inclined to point out that I spelt “guarenteed” wrong. Shut up. No-one likes your kind. Of course you could offer the rebuttal that I should shut up and no-one likes people who spell “guarenteed” wrong -but you would be incorrect, Sir.
p.p.s. If I actually spelt guarenteed right please ignore the p.s. above.

That is such an awesome analogy. Because that’s exactly what crazy people on the bus would do.

The only people crazier than bus people are internet people.
thedavidcmurphy recently posted..Beards n Bellies

I’m have a twitter, but I’m never on twitter…I’m really uncool that way. But I would never unfollow you..I would kinda crazy stalk you because I’m pretty sure you were switched at birth for one of my younger sisters but that is beside the point.

Huh? If I’m going to unfriend someone I wouldn’t bother to let them know. They probably wouldn’t care, and if they would care then they probably know me well enough to ask me what the F was up when they finally noticed.

Especially because I hide friends during awards shows and the like just so I don’t see their walloping fuckton of posts. Weirdos.
Seanna Lea recently posted..[10 Tuesday] Celebrating Valentine’s Day

What do they think you are going to do? Apologize and beg them to take you back? So you can go back to not reading their tweets?
whiskeypants recently posted..Privilege II: Yes, You Have Privilege

I think you should lend Gandalf your curlers.

… What were we talking about again?
The Maven recently posted..Anxiety. It’s like being forced to watch The Bachelorette

Awww. This post had an unexpectedly heartwarming ending! Happy Valentine’s Day, rude strangers! Love you.
CM recently posted..Shoes!

I seem to always find a way to love you even more. People are so weird. That’s all I can say about that.
Cathy recently posted..I’m sorry: An open letter to my loved ones

Crazy eavesdroppers are the best kind! How else would the world’s supply of urine in jars be replenished?
Katie recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday: The Language of Romance

I think it’s more that people are confusing than Twitter. It’s hard to imagine that they didn’t KNOW, right? Is it possible? Did somebody’s grandmother accidentally follow you, because her granddaughter was following you and you came up on the Twitter connect thinger? Are grandmothers on Twitter? My grandmother knows how to function the Internet, which makes me feel a combination of relief and apprehension.
Jen recently posted..Elka’s Swank New Collar!

sooooo… let me get this straight…The woman who became famous for the phrase ‘knock knock, motherfucker’ was able to offend some random people who follow her (who should have known what they were getting into)? Dammit. now I have to go sign up for Twitter.

Sometimes, I love your followers’ comments as much as your posts. “Tweet, tweet, motherfuckers”. Also, you’ll find an entire conversation between 2 friends and I today which included you. We INVITED you to eavesdrop.

Wow you really blew it this time!
Cynthia Holt recently posted..Procrastination

Oh! This sounds juicy… What on earth did you say that was deemed THAT offensive. *snort*
Rilla recently posted..Family Connection 2013, BC Family Day

Now I’m going to have to start following you on Twitter just so I can “tweet you to let you know that I’m following you BECAUSE you wrote something offensive.”

Just as I think I’m winning in the Crazy Game someone blindsides me and steals the crown right outta my hands. Drat.

People are weird.
Corey Feldman recently posted..The Sexton and the Reaper – Available at Amazon

That is the IRL equivalent of jumping up and down in a crowded restaurant and screaming, “Look at me! Look at meeeeee!” Puh-lease. Haters gonna hate, Jenny gonna awesome.

Given that the word ‘stranger’ would imply someone even more strange, that word seems an unlikely fit for you, given your inherent and beloved strangeness. I think ‘persons unmet’ or ‘random digital life form’ might be a better match. By the way, is it bad that even though I have never met you, we refer to you as “Jenny” around the house, as if we’d completely connected on some emotional level, albeit us in a more receivery (fuck yes that’s a word) way while you do all the heavy lifting by having the more interesting life? As in, “Oh my god, did you see Jenny’s post today. Too fucking funny. She’s our kind of people. Dammit kids, you can’t say fuck in the house. Well of course I can say it, I’m the adult. Am so!”

I really don’t understand people who do that.
Courtney recently posted..#6, 30 Letter Challenge

This happens to me with my real friends… is that sad?
Angie recently posted..Project Disney- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

I am unfollowing you because you are not offensive enough in your posts. Really, you need to work on that.

Yay – this doesn’t cover me because I’ve Dm’ed with you, spoken to you in person, handed you gifts, been flickrd by you and have sent you the most fanf-ing fabulous bookends in the world. (Although, I have realized that one of those unicorns really needs to be zombified.)

Also, I really don’t think you could ever offend me. What pussies.
Kara recently posted..OWH Sketch Challenge #159 version 2.0

Damn straight.

I love your offensive posts. I think I’ll follow you on twitter…though twitter stopped making sense long ago.

That is very odd. I suppose they think that by informing you of your offenses you will suddenly leap up from your chair, cat flying from your lap and declare “THANK YOU, TWITTER STRANGER! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! NO LONGER WILL I EXPRESS THINGS THAT YOU IN PARTICULAR FIND OFFENSIVE FOR WHATEVER REASON! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND?!?”
Madfishmonger recently posted..Natural Hemp with Jade Pendant by madfishmarket

For everyone that does that there are hundreds (thousands?) more, like me, that won’t go away even if you asked me to really nice.

I don’t care what the random stranger of the Twitterverse think of you. I love you lady. You are the shit. You make my Dad laugh and nothing does that. So you get all the votes from me!

(sigh) Where are the *smart* strangers when you need some?
Linda M Au recently posted..T-minus 7 hours till NaNoWriMo 2012!

When I got on Twitter, dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family started following me. Did they fail to realize I say fuck like it’s going out of style?

Every day I look at the people who follow me and I wonder what personal horror in their life has brought them to this place. And then I check Twitter.
J. Kevin Tumlinson recently posted..dor-a, the ever-exploring

It amuses me when people attention whore an unfollow.

My wife @ElizabethPrice is and avid reader and follower of yours and often reads your posts and book to me before bed. I even take pictures and tweet things for her, to you and @wilw (Wil Wheaton for you new readers). I hope you do not let those others who confuse you take away from those who adore you. Keep making us smile. Be true to you! and those of us who buy a “Beyonce” to keep your wife happy. Love the Price’s from Northern Cal lost in Eugene, OR. http://www.facebook.com/TomsMobileMarketing

The great thing is that most of them probably still read that post…
Emelie recently posted..Still Sick as a Dog

If you were boiling puppies alive then yeah I would probably say so. Offended by what swear words? Thing is if we were to baby proof everything it would take all the interesting out of it. I mean how do you know what might be considered offensive to a stranger? Are they supposed to send you a list titled, IF YOU SAY THIS…I WILL BE OFFENDED or are you supposed to just know.
Kimberly Wiltshire recently posted..Black Bean Sauce and Gran Canaria Island weird times.

These are the people that, at restaurants, pull the manager aside to tell them how awful the food was–after they ate it all.
Dana the Biped recently posted..It’s Pretty Much the Greatest Thing Ever.

Can I leave you a message that I won’t be talking to you anymore? I’m not unfollowing, I just don’t have anything to say.

People who feel they must right the wrongs in the world by unfollowing your “offensiveness” on Twitter: GO get a REAL cause!!
b. I am starting a campaign to be able to “like” the different comments on your blog. I always want to press like several times while reading through. Can we get a button that does that???
Mary recently posted..Chat- en Oeuf Rouge

I would go so far as to say at least they’re courteous enough to let you know! Nothing ruder than unfollowing without explanation , Just sayin’
Molley Mills recently posted..The Week We Fended for Ourselves. Let’s Not Do That Again

Hm, I’m always secretly wishing you would be MORE offensive. Honestly, you’re practically a nun. In fact, I’m offended at your lack of offensiveness! I’m unfollowing you! There, I hope you’re offended.
Catherine recently posted..Small and loving person

I’ve never understood the rationale behind announcing to someone that you will no longer follow them. As you so eloquently pointed out, neither of you knows the other. Your analogy was perfect. If it makes no sense in the real world, why do it in the virtual world?

Do they really think that their anonymous disapproval will make you change your way of life?
Sue recently posted..Separate dog walks are going well

Awesome. FREAKIN’ AWESOME. That’s all.
Shari Lopatin: Rogue Writer recently posted..It’s Raining Spiders … and Stuff

their loss.
monica recently posted..Crafting didn’t kill me. But there’s still a chance.

Damn I missed the offensive tweet.

Hmm…
I followed you *because* you’re offensive.
I will unfollow you in a huff when you’re nice all the time.
John Lewis recently posted..My Acting Résumé

I am offended that I missed the offending tweet. I suspect it would have been something that made me more likely to follow you (if I wasn’t already).

If I Tweet, “@thebloggess I think we should be better friends,” would that make us real pals? Or do I have to wait until we meet in Naperville? Now I just sound creepy. Maybe I should run and hide now. OK. Fine. I’m leaving.
Quirky Chrissy recently posted..The Crimson Thread or How Rumpelstiltskin Became the Good Guy

I only get very polite unfollowers. They never tell me they’re going, they just leave.

Which is even more maddening. So I obsess and check FriendOrFollow and try to figure out the exact moment when they decided “Nope. That’s quite enough puns for me!” or “Nobody likes hockey this much.” or “Stop trying to get Wil Wheaton to tweet at you.”

Wil Wheaton DID tweet at me once, though. So maybe these people will come back, knowing that I wasn’t a crazy loser, but instead a crazy winner.
Backpacking Dad recently posted..Hiding in the Stacks

Wait! What? People defriend you because you offended them? HA – more for us. Your LOYAL fans and followers. Their loss – our gain.

Well, I’m here to confess. I too have been secretly stalking you but only because you are so offensive!!! I can laugh at things that go on in my head without feeling crazy and disturbed because you said it, not me . Keep on being you and all that is you!

I love when people announce they’re unfollowing on twitter. The most passive aggressive way of trying to get attention.

I normally don’t send tweets to people I don’t know in real life (due to my own weird head issues) but maybe I should regularly tweet you to let you know that I still love you and love still following you. Fight the haters!

Are you planning to run for Pope? I’ll vote for you
JallieDaddy recently posted..A Tribute

I see that stuff happening all the time on Twitter. I don’t get it.

Attention seekers!
Melissa Lawler recently posted..I DO Believe in Fairies!

This odd Twitter behavior is kind of like calling someone you don’t know on the phone to say, “I just wanted to let you know I’m never going to speak to you again!”

I am going to follow you TWICE now for double the awesomeness.
Geek Goddess recently posted..Two Saint Marys, Sarah, and the Deep Blue Sea

They’re probably the kind of weird-ass stalker-people who would fantasize about wearing your skin anyway. Don’t need those guys around now, do we?

(You’re not gonna miss them!)
Kristen Mae recently posted..What Do Light Switches, Strike Plates, and Flip-Flops Have in Common?

Too funny!

Jenny, you look very, very wise when you are baffled.

But you might try a little Preparation H around the eyes.

Because nobody wants to look wise AND look, like, 900 years old.
HogsAteMySister recently posted..Eco-Disposing While Totally Getting a Green Hernia

This must be the same dogmatic stranger who unfollowed me for being-quote-”Racist against Eskimos.” (I always thought being Canadian made me a cousin of the Eskimo. But if some random stranger who doesn’t know me for shit can tell that I’m an Inuit xenophobe, then obviously I am.)
bschooled recently posted..At least his headline is honest.

Jo Hilder just cracked me up.

If they stop following you, then they’re not doing Twitter right! #twitterfail
Em recently posted..Trust & Direction

What about the rest of us strangers who totally eavesdrop and try to talk to you and comment on your blog and send you random DMs and basically stalk you because you’re our hero? I feel like maybe that’s weird too.
Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted..Phase two of growing a tiny human

What about the people who make a point of coming to your blog, and post a comment about how offensive your posts are, when they could just NOT READ THEM and life would still go on. I get that all the time.
Barbara recently posted..What the…

When I was in college, I had the mouth of a sailor, but I had to give it back.
Thanks for letting me read all those lovely Anglo-Saxon words that I don’t get to use at my corporate job, with my in-laws, or with my PTO friends.

I’m outraged! Well, actually, I haven’t been on Twitter in a long time, so I’m not really outraged. But I promise to be outraged as soon as I go back and catch up on reading your tweets!

mwa mwa. (That’s me blowing you kisses.)

I’m starting to go a little cross-eyed staring at that old picture of you being annoyed. I just can’t do the twitter thing. I know you like it. People always ask me if I’m on it. It’s just too overwhelming to me. (I kind of don’t get it either and that might be the real reason for the aversion.)
marrymeknot recently posted..You Are Cordially Invited

Who needs creepy lurkers anyway?

heh, still giggling over tweet tweet motherfuckers.

Please, never change.

Joke ‘em if they don’t give a tweet.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..I’m "Expressing"…Myself At Aiming Low Today

You make me smile! Every once in a while cry… But mostly smile! Thank you for that!

Sounds like the FART PATIO will be crowded today. Bummer.

Wonder why anyone cares including me. Is this all that life is about? Random responses from odd named individuals. What was funny runs out of air after the comments burst the balloon. Silence is golden. Shhhhh.

Ironically, on the way over here I read a post on another page by some urchin named Paul about the singer Rihanna, and I thought “That’s it, no one is allowed to use the internet anymore”.
So…………. I can only assume that this Paul fellow has a Twitter account too.

~Amy

Yeah, those comments always make me laugh. Like really? Do you think that person really gives a shit? Just unfollow, stop reading, whatever, and move on with your life.

Still love you. As a random twitter stranger. Does that make me a…stalker? Can I add that to a resume?

P.S. Jenny, do you follow @Schmoodles? She’s British, she tweets about her depression sometimes and she is also super clever and funny. I just sent her a DM about you. XO
Girl to Mom- Heidi recently posted..Heart Shaped Foods

But…. offensive people are the best people!

xo Ashley
luckylittlebird.blogspot.com
Ashley recently posted..Tunes for Tuesday

Better not diss (dis?) our Bloggess. We (the royal we) will turn into the crazed mob of villagers from Young Frankenstein. Torches, pitchforks and medieval bludgeoning devices for everyone! That’ll learn ‘em. Afterward we’ll meet at my house for milk and cookies.

People are dumb.

You are awesome.

That is all.

Maybe they thought they were talking to you telepathically. In which case they probably said the offensive thing to themselves. That’s power! You offended them without being present at all in the interaction. I say keep it up.

I love how your brain works!
Punky Coletta recently posted..How the Frack to Get Along With Others and Have a Decent Life at Work, or, Maybe You Get Off on Poo Eating Fantasies

you always make me giggle….just keep it coming..and screw anyone that is offended.. no … not literally Jenny… just figuratively or you may be busy… and piss Victor off. A lot.

Poster #6, Jo Hilder said it best….wait – the numbers stay the same at the top, don’t they?

Anyway, Jo said “Tweet, tweet, motherfuckers.” And that just really said it all. Scroo’em.

Hey assholes: If you’re feelin what Jenny has to say, follow her on Twitter. If you don’t, then don’t. Why be a hater? Really, for fuck’s sake.

And Jenny: There are plenty of us that get you, love you, feel a kinship with you, and await your every word. So just think of that the next time you miss the stupid eavesdropping strangers.

In your defense, I think you have more than slightly less beard than Gandalf.

What a bunch of uppity jack asses.
A plague on all of their houses.
Lady Redcurtains recently posted..The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem… or some other cliché post title…

What’s the world coming to when you can’t count on random eavesdropping stalkers to back you up.

There’s people on there who really create a secondary identity, which is oddly sad since there’s only enough room for a one-liner or to invite people to listen to your mixed tape.

But stupid people give us such great material to write about!
Denise Malloy recently posted..When The Girls Go South

I’m so confused by Twitter that I haven’t joined. I would probably only join to follow you. I might talk to you more though.
Nat recently posted..Gratitude Day 13: the Kindness of Strangers

SO true!! I do stalk you, but only on your webpage, oh, and Pintrest, but not Twitter, mostly because I can’t figure twitter out, despite having an account. I have your book on my Kindle so unfortunately I couldn’t get you to autograph it when you were in Denver. I have also been told to stop reading it in public because it causes me to laugh out loud (I had the same response when I read “Calvin & Hobbes” in the bookstore), so now I read it on planes because those people are trapped with me and I think a hilariously laughing adult is much better than a screaming baby. So, to wit, keep it up!

That Gandalf .gif cracks my sh*t up _ every time_ I look at it.
Teresa recently posted..Week 1: Take off that Ridiculous Man Suit

A friend told me about your site and it is very nice and respectful, at least from my world. My wife and I collected taxidermy for over 30 years. She died on the 22nd of January and I find that I need to liquidate virtually everything. I stuffed critters from 2 sorry looking squirrels to a red duicker head and horns. I’ve got chickens, pheasants, Thule elk (a particularly cute one), a huge moose full rack attached to the top of the skull and boodles more. Would you be interested in helping a widower out? There is a bar in Seattle that might want them, but a home with humor would be a nicer place. I miss my wife more than words can tell, but I really don’t have a place for these anymore. Thanks for taking the time, and if you haven’t already seen photos by Joel Peter Whitkin, he has a world view that is to say the least, interesting.

Ha! Agreed that Twitter IS confusing, but this is hilarious!

I’ve never understood that whole phenomenon. Why bother to tell some random stranger “I don’t really like you”? Just go away, if that is your bent. Just wanted to say I really enjoyed your book. I read it in the airport and people were giving me strange looks for randomly bursting out in laughter, it was awesome!
Kim recently posted..Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let it Snow!!!

Those people, they really know how to hurt you!

What’s even the point in annoucing their decision to unfollow you??
Robyn Webb recently posted..In Case You Were Wondering, My Foot is Still Being a Jerk

One of my friends in college was out running in a bad side of town at night, and was nervous as a cat thinking was going to happen to him. Every time a car went by, he got all jumpy. Then… a car came up behind him and slowed down and he was thinking, “omg, this is it, some psycho is going to put a cap in my ass!” Sure enough, the car pulled up beside him, the window rolled down, and then someone threw a banana at him. Drive by banana-ing!

I think that’s what random offended comments on twitter feel like. It’s like… I guess that’s insulting?
Evalynn Rose recently posted..Grocery shopping Mr. Ev style

Is it weird that when I see things like this I immediately think of you? http://theresheprose.tumblr.com/post/42958584193 Yeah this comment has nothing to do with this article but how else am I going to force random links upon you?

Offensive! Bah!

Yeah, Twitter confuses me, but I will never stop eavesdropping on your fucked up conversations. I have mad love for you homey

You’re not as bad as them because you’re not whining, you’re mocking. Totally different and superior.

Though the offended ones can be entertaining while they stick around.
Jen @ Bible Belt to Boulder recently posted..Sacrificing the SmartPhone

As least you get to revel in their departure, as the door slams on their posterior! ..oops, were you meant to say, don’t let the door hit you on your way out! ..love ya, keep up the great work, i love the way you make the mundane pop..

Am I really the only one curious to know what so offensive to the Strangers?
Karolien recently posted..Reactie op Verschil moet er zijn door flamencaalaconquista

If it makes you feel any better… THIS random-person-you’ve-never-heard-of-before signed up for a Twitter account a few minutes ago JUST so she could follow you . Good luck getting rid of me! Can’t wait to eavesdrop even more!!!!!

Based on their logic, I should probably be contacting you regularly to let you know that I am following.

“Jenny, based on your last post, I have to say that I am continuing to follow you.”

“I AM STILL READING THE THINGS YOU WRITE AND POST FOR THE PUBLIC!”

“I found what you just said not offensive at all. FOLLOW!”

“Stupid slut…is not anything I would ever say to you, because I love your writing and respect you as a person. Plus that’s a really sexist thing to say. Just wanted you to know.”

I also have a huge pile of authors in genres I don’t care for to write to, so that I can let them know I have chosen not to read their books. I wish I’d known about this rule sooner. The backlog is going to take me years.
Curiosity recently posted..Super Happy Fun Time Flu Extreme

Honestly.. I just wish you’d follow me back.. So I don’t feel like a dumb ass tweeting to you about Rosa’s… which I always end up calling Rita’s.. LMAO- I guess I want a margarita..
Candy O recently posted..I Think I’ve Forgotten

That is so weird. When *I* unfollow people, I try to do it with stealth, hoping like hell they will not realize. I thought mostly people didn’t know if you unfollow because I’m sure I wouldn’t know unless it was a close friend or something, but after the first time I unfollowed someone, she tweeted me and asked what happened, and then I was consumed with guilt (cuz I like her, I just found her twitter stream kind of triggery, but that’s not her issue, it’s mine). I can’t imagine WANTING to tell someone you unfollowed them.

I’m really curious what these people find offensive. Mushroom-shaped boobs? Angry vaginas? Taxidermied rodents in costume? It’s gotta be something really risque like arguments with your husband or pictures of your cats. You totes crossed the line there.
Sharon Wachsler recently posted..Reading of "River of Beauty" with Fabulous Art! [NSFW Video]

I discovered you through my friend Kim (aka Sunshine). Just want to let you know how much I’m enjoying your book. It’s so funny, that I can only read it in small doses, otherwise I might ”choke on my own spit”, as you would say. I just loooove your sarcasm. I hope more people find out about you. Lord knows, I’m glad I did ! Longue vie, Jenny La Magnifique !

Hooollleee shit! I’ll leave a comment on this one.

I’ll friend ya! I just read your book. Never have ever heard of you before but funnily in the past have heard of the name The Bloggess and at the time just quickly thought to myself, now she sounds like a stuck up cow (The Duchess, The Princess) were descriptions running through my mind …. well I missed out on that link didn’t I? I think I’m the stupid cow.

I freaking LOVED your book. I immediately recommended it to my 20yo daughter as the style of your thoughts in your book is very much like my daughter who is an amazing but weird and eclectic young woman and will go FAR in this world.

Anyway …. I am now your biggest fan (ha!) and a dedicated follower to all your social media and since I live in Australia, there is no chance of me camping on your porch at 3am and screaming “I LOVE YOU BLOGGESS!” after having consumed 27 scotch and cokes and feeling the love.

Seriously … you … are … the … shit!

Sincerely Yours,
Jennifer
Sydney
Australia
(currently holidaying in Tokyo perving at all the cute salarymen … you know who you are! )

LOVE this post lol. Well done!
Joanne recently posted..Valen-what-day? How we spent this unnecessary (and stupid) holiday

So… I don’t have twitter, but I’m getting it right now. I MUST find out what you are saying that is so incredibly offensive. I feel left out that I’m not stalking you closely enough!!! Here I come twitter!

“I’ll miss you, stupid strangers.” Totally happens to me all the time. When I get my daily report of what cool stuff happened on Twitter while I ignored the place, and it starts out with who’s a new follower and who’s a new “quitter”, I absolutely click first on the quitters’ names to see who the heck this was that doesn’t love me anymore. Even though we never knew each other.

I’ll never be the one on the sidewalk outside the bus, Jenny. I’ll always be the one hovering near your seat hoping you notice me!
Gurukarm recently posted..How Would You Survive?

I always assume that people who unfollow me were just overcome with a profound sense of unworthiness.

Haha, I kid! I figure they just hate me and all that I stand for. Or perhaps liked my one fart joke and were disappointed when more weren’t immediately forthcoming.

Anyway, to quote Gandhi, “Haters gonna hate, yo.”