The Doctor Who post I can never write

in Random Crap

Remember YEARS AGO (in blog years) when I tweeted that I had a crazy Doctor Who story but I couldn’t share it because then people could use it to figure out where we lived?  Well, I just moved so I can finally publish this post.  Except now that I re-read it it sounds even crazier than normal so feel free to skip it.  Also, I apologize for the plethora of Doctor Who posts this week.  I’ll get back to normal dead animal posts soon, promise.  Here’s the original post I wrote forever ago and then never posted:

**********

You guys?  I just met The Doctor.

And he’s my vet.

First of all, EVERYONE he works with just calls him “The Doctor” and then when he came into the room he looked EXACTLY like #9 and then he handed me his card and I was all “Hang on…YOUR NAME IS ‘TIME LORD’?” and he was like “Um…the ‘I’ is soft.  It’s Tim.  Tim Lord.”  But it was pretty clear I’d broken his cover because I was all “Gallifrey this” and “sonic screwdrivers that” and then he looked a little panicky and pulled out a syringe and I started to think about Dexter, but then I remembered that The Doctor was a vet and I was there to get shots for my cat.

But then I totally didn’t remember driving home later and I’m pretty sure I probably had some crazy adventure with The Doctor for years and then he Donna Nobled me and now I just can’t remember any of it.  So then I asked Victor “What exactly was I wearing when I left?” and he had no idea because he never thinks of the possibility of me getting time-travel abducted because the man has no sense of adventure.  But then for weeks afterward whenever Victor would ask if I’d taken out the garbage I’d be all: “OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN WEEKS.  I’VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HITLER AND MY GOD IS THAT MAN AN ASS”  and that’s a perfect excuse for pretty much anything because you can’t even argue with it.

Also, I asked The Doctor if I could post a picture of him on my blog so you wouldn’t think I was just over-imaginative and he said it was fine so now you can see why I was freaking out:

It’s fucking uncanny.  Victor agrees, but for different reasons.

237 thoughts on “The Doctor Who post I can never write”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. This is SO awesome! I wonder what sort of end-of-the-world thing was going down in your area that the doctor needed to a Veterinarian cover?

  5. OMG!! How has that man NOT capitalized on the Doctor Who references!! I would choose him as my vet just because he was the Doctor!

  6. LOVE it! …but that’s 9, not 10. Just saying’.

    (Ooh. So right. I just had 10 on my mind. As always. ~ Jenny)

  10. That guy needs to paint his door like the TARDIS right now. POST HASTE.

    And also? The ninth Doctor would totally neuter your cat. Like, for fun.

  11. Hilarious! I’m going to have to try that on my husband. He’s pretty used to that kind of craziness from me, though. He’ll probably just continue to do the dishes while I watch cartoons and try to teleport off of the couch.

  12. Last year when my cat went in for surgery I was comforted by the fact that the operating vet’s name was Dr. Turk (as in Scrubs). That wasn’t actually his name, it’s just what I heard (wanted to hear in my state of panic)….Either way great surgeon, my 14 year old cat is doing fab…..and that pesky JT wasn’t around to screw everything up ;>

  13. Maybe he hasn’t seen Doctor Who. If you show it to him, it might break the space-time continuum. You can’t tell The Doctor that he’s a character in a sci-fi TV show. OR MAYBE THE TV SHOW IS JUST REALLY ADVANCED FANFICTION ABOUT THE DOCTOR OH MY GOD THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

    (For real, when I asked him about it he was like “What are you talking about? Doctor Who?” and I was all “EXACTLY.” ~ Jenny)

  19. Holy crap! He looks so much like 9. He really needs to watch the show and capitalize on his looks. He could be a look-alike at parties. You know, all those raging Doctor Who parties everyone has. Yep.

  22. Here’s the acid test: Did he seem to understand what your cat was saying? As everyone knows, the Doctor speaks Cat. (Also, I wouldn’t become a companion unless I spent several months with a trainer upping my running speed by a factor of 100. But that’s just me.)

    (True story: Years later he was the same Doctor who put Posey to sleep and when he told me that Posey was ready to go and I totally believed him. ~ Jenny)

  23. I’m going to use the time traveling excuse sometime this week…. or have I already? Time Travel is so confusing.

  24. My life goal is to be a companion, but if I don’t get the spot, I can’t think of anyone more deserving than you!

  25. And that explains why you forgot about having a book signing in Texas… Cuz you were fresh from your adventures with the Doctor. I forgive you, if you will go ahead and schedule one in Austin soon. Get the Doctor to give you a ride in the Tardis, it”l be cool.

  26. WHAT?! His name is Tim Lord? Shit, dude. You’re making this stuff up. And by “making this stuff up” I mean you actually DID meet The Doctor and he did Donna Noble your ass and then got Will Smith in there to flash that thing at you and made you believe something else entirely, like there was this vet named Tim Lord and he gives shots to your cat.

    So, actually, Will Smith made this shit up.

  27. From his website: “Dr. Lord traveled the world extensively, experiencing the cultures of Southeast Asia, New Zealand and Australia, the Himalayas, and Europe.” I THINK THERE’S SOME UNDERSTATEMENT GOING ON THERE 😀

  28. I’d like to make some smart-ass Dr. Who comment and how cool it would be to have him as your vet because he could (fill something awesomely silly in here). But I’ve never seen Dr. Who. I’m thinking I need to start watching this show. (Please don’t kill me through my screen.)

  29. 9 is my absolute favorite! I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because he was my first Time Lord love. I’m still not sure if 11 will ever be one of my Time Lord loves but 10 did eventually become one. Sigh.

    I would have totally freaked out! 🙂 Glad you shared your story even if it is old news now. lol.

  30. I’m on board with AmyG (comment 22). I need some serious cardio training before I meet the Doctor. This is what I think about when I’m on the treadmill.

  31. Tim Lord? Not even a good cover, Doctor. It’s like he WANTED you to find him. It’s like you were meant to be a companion. It was your destiny.

  32. In other news, I am pretty sure your vet is my dentist.

    So there’s that. And that fact that I will now be making sure he washes his hands between patients with a renewed vigor.

  34. I have GOT to start watching this show. I know too many people who are literally in love with this program. I mean would date it, live in sin with it, then finally decide financially that it just makes more sense to get married to it.

    Will this cut into my Mad Men obsession?

  37. You are the funniest fixed point in time. How many times do you think you saved the universe? I’m guessing there are at least two missing seasons of Doctor Who.

  38. That’s pretty neat. I am going to use that excuse now for not doing stuff. I mean I did say to my mother in a very seriouse tone yesterday that she never celebrates Doctor Who holidays, so I am half way there.

  39. I can’t stop laughing.

    You made me think though. What if dementia/alzheimer’s were really just side effects from too much time travel/Donna Nobilization?

  44. I’d have totally lost my crap. Plus I’ll use any excuse to get out of taking out the trash. Especially if there is a possibility the can will eat me. Just putting that out there.

  50. Aaaaaaaaaand this is now my third favorite Blogess post ever (#1: Beyonce, #2 Beyonce + Tardis).

  52. Awesome! If you ever remember being a companion you MUST blog about it!!! Just the other day I told the hubby that I wished I was a companion. He gave me a crazy look and I realized he was thinking Firefly and not Dr Who. I had to reassure him that I wanted to be The Doctor’s companion, not Captain Tightpants. Although, that could be fun too. 🙂

  57. Ah, TechyDad, you misread. One of his cats is named Aslan. Which is the name of the Lion in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Which clearly means he has a Tardis AND a wardrobe at his disposal for time-travelling purposes.

  58. while your vet looks like The Doctor, he also looks like the bad guy in the next Thor movie. So is he a good Time Lord or a bad Asgardian disguised as a Time Lord who neuters cats on the side so they won’t eventually take over New New New New New New New York?

  59. Head is spinning thinking up ways to use ‘time travel abducted’ on my husband. Must make sure he never reads this post.

  60. So I needed a doctor for a physical and I was looking through a list that take my insurance and I found a Dr. Moreau and booked an appointment ASAP. You can’t pass up opportunities that that.

  64. So when The Doctor agreed to have his photo appear on your blog, did you explain just how many people would end up reading this?! I mean, I live in Nothingville Australia and I now know this guy. His photo will forever come up in google images when you use key word searches like “taxidermy mouse robot” and “motherfucker I love twine”. They are common search phrases after all.

  67. I would so try that on my husband….but he left to time travel in the other world a few years ago. haven’t heard from him since. Still, he would’ve thought that was seriously funny.

    There are still days I feel like Mrs. Who.

  68. This has been the best thing I have read in weeks! Since it seems that he Donna Noble’s you after every adventure, I wonder if you would try to get photographic evidence or mark yourself permanently each time you are taken away (go all “I’ve see the Silence and here is the proof” style)

  70. It’s all good. I took differential equations in college from Egon Spengler, I shit you not. It was pretty cool.

  71. My husband came home from work the other day and told me he met #11 at his workplace. I was so jealous that he didn’t get his picture for me. Or bring him home. My husband just doesn’t get it.

    Now if I could find #10, the collection of Doctor Who look-alikes would be complete!

  72. What’s the point of going on a time adventure if you don’t remember it. You should have a talk with him. A totally non-crazy talk. About not being able to remember your time traveling. Yeah. You should do that. We’ll watch.

  74. My mother-in-law (before she was my mother-in-law) once told me she was a “Mrs. King” (of the Scarecrow & Mrs. King kind). She was completely serious. I married her son anyway. After reading your post, I’m thinking maybe what she really was, was the Doctor’s companion and in all that time traveling some wires got crossed in her brain or something. That would totally explain it.

    Did your doctor greet you with, “Hello. I’m the Doctor.”???

  76. Holy smokes, he really is spot on isn’t he? Absolutely brilliant!!!
    I would say I hope you remember your adventures and then share with us, but if it’s anything like Donna — please don’t remember. :/

  77. Okay, so I live down the road from here and my husband is the Doctor Who nut, err, I mean fan. I just sent him this link and now I am sure we are going to have to visit The Doctor! Gee, thanks, Jenny!

    In other news, you were totally right with your paranoia, because HOW many people googled this guy and found out where he works? ERGO, where you live?

    Are you guys still in the Lone Star state?

  79. OMG, he so IS the doctor and probably did take you on lots of adventures! I wish he would come get me and do the same! No, I’m not kidding either. That is totally cool.

  81. OMG. HE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE #9. That makes me furiously happy, and now I want to move to TX so my cat can visit The Doctor.

  83. I have a similar story, except a lot more awkward lol. my gynecoligist looks a lot like you. Only I didn’t notice untill she came into my work to ask for directions and I totally thought it was you. I wasn’t sure though so I just said “you look super familiar, Is your name jenny?”. It was super awkward when she responded with “no, I’m doctor so and so”. If I knew how to I would totally post a pic!

  85. OMFG!!!! You TOTALLY went on a fantastic tardis adventure. I’ll bet YOU saved the universe too only…wait…wait…YOU ARE DONNA! See they changed the name because otherwise it would trigger your latent memories and make your head explode. Where is this vet?!? Only I want to be Martha cause she was awesome and probably ended the best (I wanna keep my memories and not end up in another dimension/time period). I have a cat. He’s been neutered but I’m willing to sacrifice another of his auxiliary organs in the name of time travel.

  86. So freaking cool!! He does look a lot like 9. I do agree with a previous post, it’s not 10. I love 10. Anyway, great post! Too cool!!

  87. My 11 year old daughter is completely in LOVE with Dr. Who. It’s amazing. I’m trying really hard to get into it – not for her…but for YOU. I’m a giver. You’re welcome.

  88. OK, so maybe someone said this already as I have not yet fully read the 91 comments that come before me but, I have to say:
    (1) Most (if not all – or at least all minus me) of your fans seem to also be HUGE Dr. Who fans
    (2) As maybe your only fan who is not a Dr.Who fan, I live a border crossing and Very Long Planeride away, plus am employed, a mother, and quite lazy – all of which infringe on my stalking-abilities (other than via internet while wearing fuzzy slippers)
    (3) My point of point (1) plus point (2) is would the above post have lead to people stalking you? Really? OR is it far more likely that they would be stalking your (former) vet? Because you are The Bloggess, but Bloggess vs. Doctor #9 …. at least is a close call. And maybe they are stalking you, or stalking you too, but if they are as bad at stalking as I would be (or argueable, as good since this seems like a reasonable plan) would they not stalk you via that vet as that is a location you have a likelihood of showing up in, hoping you would return with some excuse just to see the vet again, even if it meant you had to bring in a taxidermied animal, which of course would then be a DEAD giveaway (no pun intended) that you are indeed you, as who else but you would be at the vet to treat a taxidermied animal? In which case since of COURSE you have to go to the vet to make sure you live pets are OK, if you leave the taxidermied ones at home no one would know you are you?

    (Ha! I’m sure that The Doctor would be much more fun to stalk. And normal readers don’t worry me, but I do have an unmedicated schizophrenic reader who thinks we know each other – we don’t – and sends vaguely scary messages to me when he gets agitated and that’s why I try to keep a low profile on exactly where I live. It’s not his fault that he’s mentally ill but better safe than sorry when it comes to protecting my kiddo. ~ Jenny)

  89. Can I make a suggestion? New blog categories with a tag cloud on the sidebar so I can find all Doctor Who posts and red them together, or all cat threads, or all Nathan Filion threads, etc. Would be awesome.

    Have a great day, or week, in the Tardis!

  91. I am feeling so totally left out because I’m positive Dr. Who is something I could love and get consumed by, but I don’t do cable and only use internet on my too-slow-for-streaming dumbphone.

  94. I guess what I find most strange is that you moved and changed your vet. I wouldn’t change my vet unless I moved 100 miles away or something. Which perhaps you did. In either case, the resemblance in the pictures you posted is definitely uncanny.

  96. Sweet smoking gophers how I love you. I’ve laughed so hard… now I have to pee. Excuse me –

  97. Didn’t read all comments, but I wanted to point out (if it hasn’t been done so already) that the actor who played the 5th Doctor had previously played a vet in All Creatures Great And Small. He also played a cow in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.

    /This just all seemed very “meta” to me.
    //Not even a Dr. Who fan.
    ///Just an old guy who loves your blog.

  98. I knew there was a place where former Doctors went when they retired, but I never would have guessed it was in Texas. Keep your eyes open for 10. Seriously. Don’t even blink.

  103. Okay, after that sad, sweet story you added to my comment, I have concluded that you are right. He IS the Doctor.

  105. I have never seen this show (don’t hit me), but there is definitely a resemblance. I suspect I would have the same reaction to someone who looked exactly like Buffy.

  106. I’m puzzled about what additional clue is here since you already said you lived near Canyon Lake, north of San Antonio. — Don’t unraveling the causal nexus! —

    MONITOR: But it is! Logopolis is the keystone. If you destroy Logopolis, you unravel the whole causal nexus.
    MASTER: Causal nexus? You insult my intelligence.
    DOCTOR: You’re interfering with the law of cause and effect.

    Not coherent, don’t judge me.

  107. You need to send that as a script to the BBC we might see you in the next series and you could brighten up the TARDIS by strategically placing stuffed animals all ove the place on the inside of it and screw Beyonce to the front door, just a thought xxxx

  108. OK, I haven’t seen much Dr. Who, but my husband watches it religiously. Seeing this sort of thing always makes me wish I could watch it, but my husband has this thing where if you want to watch a show “correctly” you have to start from the beginning. And who has time for that at this point?!?!?! Is there a good mid-point I could start at, or would I always be behind?

    (Start with the 2005 reboot. I think it’s on netflix. ~ Jenny)

  110. Not bad. I like that his name is Tim Lord, though! We should make him meet my husband, who is a spot on copy of David Tennant. But then I guess we couldn’t because then there would be all sorts of riffs in space & time since with doppelgangers of 9 & 10 meet. (I’d include a pic of my husband to prove it, but I’m not sure how to do that in a comment!)

  111. Omg! You totally blew his cover! I am so jealous I think I’m going to start shopping around for a new vet (just in case I bump into a time lord)

  113. My daughter is at school right now, but when she gets home I’m going to show her this because she is going to lose her bleep.

  114. Thank you for posting this. I used to date Dr. Who (who went by the alias of “Jim). As with your vet, the resemblance is uncanny.

    All the times that he was late for dinner, for Astros games, for parties, I’d make the excuse that the door was stuck on his TARDIS. As you might guess, most of my crowd aren’t into Sci-Fi. Having to explain a joke takes all the fun out of it.

  115. Even when I have no clue what you are writing about (possibly because I am like the last person on the planet who has NOT yet watched Dr. Who), I find you hilarious.

    Keep finding this bad-ass shit. please.

  116. I have met that particulary Doctor Who IN REAL LIFE!!! He used to jog past my office when I lived in Manchester, UK and he stopped TWICE to talk to me, once when he had picked up an old lady who had fallen over in the street. He is a great guy. No sign of the Tardis, however……..

  117. OMFG YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!! My vet is totally normal. And also, this would explain a lot of about your cats, if they were neutered by sonic screwdriver.

  119. I’m with you, he totally Donna Nobled you. Victor is simply jealous that he didn’t get to go along, like Rory. He should be thanking you though since Rory gets killed like a billion times. So next time, just tell Victor, “you’re welcome.”

  120. You must LOVE your readers… Thank you for moving just so we can read this post, how courteous! Although I am a mite creeped out that people would stalk your home. Ewwww…

  121. I love how you used Donna Noble as a verb. If you were Donna Nobled, that means you would totally have been time lord (or Tim Lord) brilliant for a short time. Awesomely cool.

  123. 9 is my favourite! How’s the saying go… 9 is who you want to date; 10 is who you want to marry… Hmmm, something like that anyway.
    But if he was my vet it’d be sad. Like I’d have to take a belly up goldfish to him just as an excuse to visit yet one more time. And he’d be all like “that’s no goldfish” and the goldfish would open its zipper that I’d never noticed before and out would pop some farting alien and the Doctor would grab my hand and off we’d run!
    Anyway, I do hope he gets TARDIS fixed or finishes his mission or whatever strands him there so he can be off saving us all again soon. But really, a vet? Totally works for him. K9 approves, I’m sure!

  126. So if anyone ever says that you look old for your age you can tell them that it’s because you were travelling with the Doctor for 5 years.

  127. I love this post. Love it. Tim Lord! He couldn’t come up with a better name to cover up his true identity?

    I see he is married…to a woman named Leslie. Who is unfortunately not me, darn it!

    Jenny, I hope your move and unpacking has gone well. I just did it myself, and it was traumatic! Feeling better and more settled in now.

  129. Do I need to start watching this show? Because I feel like the universe (and all of Facebook) is telling me I need to start watching this show.

  130. I have to say, I prefer the Doctor Who posts over the taxidermy animals EVERY DAMN TIME. Mostly because the ugly rodents are my deepest, most unshakable phobia, fear, nightmare – whatever. Mice, rats, hamsters and gerbils freak me the f*ck out. But I deal. Still, Doctor Who is one of the best things of ever (I was going to say the 21st century but what really does that mean to a time traveller???)

  137. This is the kind of geeky, conspiracy shit I live for. OMG your vet is an alien. He probably keeps his TARDIS in a closet, so next time you are nearby check everywhere. Ask to have your cat’s nails clipped or painted or something to buy you some time to snoop.

    I love the Doctor Who posts, keep them coming, Jenny. 🙂

  139. Do you supposed Tim Lord (the clandestine Time Lord) is relieved you’ve moved away? Or now that you have exposed him, will he have to give up his cat neutering, find another Companion, and leave this time line?

  140. Just checking in here. I am not the
    Doctor Who Neutered Your Cat, but
    I am another Tim Lord.

    It’s a name I have grown to like more
    and more over the years.

    Many, many years.

    Tim (Lord)

  141. OMG!Hysterical…even more funny is I’m sitting at Ryan’s steakhouse laughing out loud like …well anyways, I’m already there.

  145. Pretty lousy cover, I’d think….still, nearly wet myself laughing. (I did wet my face with tears of laughter does that count?)

  146. You must gift him with at least a dvd of 9’s season!!! To all those wondering if you’re missing something..hell yes! Go forth to Netflix and get started! Your life will never be the same. Don’t gorget Torchwood too because we all need some Captain Jack Harkness in our lives. Then you must also discover John Barrowman music videos on YouTube! Sigh…Capt. Jack sings, dances, ice skates and dances some more! Gay or not, that man smolders.

  151. I don’t watch the show and so most of the references go right over my head, but weirdly and randomly I just walked to the back of the office where I work and there was a single sheet of paper with a picture of a phone booth with the words “DR. WHO” on the bottom. I don’t know who it belongs to or why it was there, but I immediately thought of you and had to tell you. By the way, I am a long time reader but have never commented before, so please don’t think I’m too big of a creeper!!

  152. OMG! The Doctor!!
    He should so take advantage of that. You know, put it in business cards and all. Maybe have a little artifact on his table that only people who know Doctor Who would know what it means.

  153. Tim(e) Lord! The Doctor! Did he by any chance overuse the word Fantastic during your conversation?

  154. My vet is a clone of George Clooney. Really. Just shorter. People ask to take his picture all the time. He get annoyed, so I didn’t ask.

  156. So, off topic, but whatever, I hope you don’t mind. I new to your awesomeness. You are my new found THING. I read through your archives constantly to get all caught up, and well i want to read your book. So I reserved a copy at my library and sent my 15 year old son in to get it when it came in. He started reading in the car and NOW HE WON”T GIVE IT BACK. You should here the cackling coming out of his room. And he runs out every now and then asking me the strangest questions “Ummm, cow vaginas?” Me, “I think it something to do with her upbringing, but please give me my book back so I can aswer yoiur questions with some authority……….please………pretty please”. He just laughed and walked off.
    It is safe to say that you have at least 2 new fans. i planned on letting my mom read it after me, but I actually have to get my hands on the damn book first.

  157. THat’s not Dr. Who, it’s Jean Claude VanDamme! Or Lance Armstrong? Or maybe the guy who parachuted out of space in the fall?

  159. He really does look just like him. And his name too? That. Is. Awesome. I would have wigged out way worse than you.

  160. You do realize that the reason that The Doctor had twine in his pocket in the episode that you watched yesterday was a sign to you that you had, in fact, met him, right?

  162. Tim Lord is the perfect cover as no one would think that he would hide in plain sight like that.

    Was there any sort of blue box in the room?

  163. Stop saying his name! Remember yesterday? Oh, right, you don’t. 🙂

  164. That is FANTASTIC! Oh, Christopher Eccleston. The things I’d do the the TARDIS with you…

  167. This is proof-positive that he’s Dr. Who and you definitely had an experience of some sort with him. For your sake, I hope it didn’t include pants.

    On another note, your vet is Dr. Who-la-la! Sexy!

    Yes, that was a horrible pun, but I feel good about it.

  169. HOLY BUCKETS! You are SO lucky – not only is your vet Dr.Who, but it’s the sexiest Dr. Not fair. Did he use a sonic screwdriver to do the neutering?

  170. As a recent Dr. Who discoverer, I will say that he was ok, but number 10 is my favourite. And Donna Noble was with number 10…I liked him best. Did I say that already? I did like number 10. Although your Doctor looks great too.

  171. I want your life! Seriously! You get to go on time travel adventures with The Doctor, who then leaves comments on your blog!!! *faints*

  172. I am currently drunk on wine. I have not drank in a long time but wine = yum tonight. So my apologies if this is convoluted, I blame the wine. But read your response to my post above and: (1) Totally understand – hello, I post under a pseudonym – kids trump everything!! (2) you are very smart (nay, brilliant) for keeping your location secret from probably-harmless-but-who-knows-so-why-risk-it? stalkers and (3) do not under-estimate your popularity. Who wouldn’t want to stalk you? You’re fucking aweome!! In fact my secret plan which I can reveal because am drunk and can’t follow through with as really am too far away geographically, would be to visit your vet with taxidermied animals myself, then wait for him to start gossiping with you about my habit ( as who wouldn’t gossip about the weirdo bringing taxidermied animals to the vet?) which you would pretend to think is weird but really cause you to want to meet

    My husband travels a lot on business, occassionally to Texas, but will not bring a taxidermied animal to a vet who looks like the 9th Doctor on the off chance of obtaining your autograph through some convoluted means, because clearly my husband is stupid.

  176. Tim Lord? Yeah… You totally blew his cover and Victor knows you went on badass adventures with The Doctor, but you know, he’s not allowed to tell you. I’m jealous. Js.

  177. He probably doesn’t know what the doctor is because of the perception filter. He’s disguised as a human right now, but when he opens the watch, he’ll remember everything and transform back.

  179. “OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN WEEKS. I’VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HITLER AND MY GOD IS THAT MAN AN ASS”

    Yes. I am totally going to use this. Awesome. Just like this story 🙂

  180. Did you ask him if he had a pocket watch? Maybe he’s forgotten he’s a Time Lord and really thinks he is a vet. But of course the Time Lord keeps leaking through, hence the name.

  181. I wish I could take my dogs to the Dr. Who vet. My vet’s kind of a dick, but he has the same name as my uncle and I keep thinking that one of these days the vet will be less dickish and more unclish. But the Dr. Who vet looks like a very nice guy.

  183. Does he actually neuter animals or just time travel to the future and bring them back, fixed?

    Or if they are sick, time travel to the past and being the younger versions back, all healthy?

    He could totally write off the Tardis expenses.

    The profit margins for his practice would be huge.

    Whoge?

  187. Where are the doctor’s hands? That is far too big a smile on his face. That poor dog looks none too happy. 😉

  191. He’s my least favorite Doctor…but that might be my most favorite veterinarian! he’s a cutie. Reminds me of the time I met my second husband on the side of the road when my car broke down. He gave me his business card and it said Richard Grayson. The name seemed familiar. then my comic crazy boss pointed out that I had just been rescued by Robin!

  193. Have you considered that while Tim Lord may be The Doctor, he doesn’t realize he’s The Doctor? Remember when The Doctor had to give himself amnesia and hide out as a mild-mannered Professor John Smith in a previous decade? Same thing here. If you see any mysterious pocket watches, be very careful.

  194. Good one Jenny! I’m crying from laughing so hard…but strangely only from the right eye. Apparently my right side has a better sense of humor than the left.

    Amy*

  195. Absolutely nothing about this post seems odd to me. Is that odd? Also, #9 Doctor Who was exceptional. Loved him, loved #10, still trying to warm up to #11 who reminds me a little too much of a vaudevillian player to be trusted with the safety of the universe. I’m not sure I trust him with the liquor cabinet yet.

  198. Okay, I have read your blog like forever but I never post because all your readers are so smart and I feel like a dummy in comparison. BUT… I’m a huge Doctor Who fan and if your vet walked into a room I would probably faint, and then when I revived and he handed me his card, I would do it again and he would wonder if I had some strange disability, and if I were a fit pet owner, then when he met The Dogs of War (two 20-pound scotties) he would be all “Oh, fantastic! Now it all makes sense!” and I would spend the rest of my life wondering what that meant. (My vet, for the record, is deaf and only has one eye. But the Dogs of War love him, so.)

  203. Oh. My. Gosh. TIM LORD!!!! I can’t believe that is actually his really real name.
    So much awesome here. Not only that he looks like the ninth, but the name on top of that??!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!

  204. Different, but still on point: the doctor who was going to perform my husband’s vasectomy (promised when third son was born–third son in now nine–but never actually happened, which is another (unpleasant) story) was actually named Dr. Balls). Talk about born into the family business…

  205. I laughed a lot at the fact that you used Donna Noble as a verb…

    …and then I just got sad.

  206. I feel like as soon as I mention Doctor Who on my blog people stop reading. So I don’t talk about it a lot. Or I try to throw in a plot twist to see if people did read it. But they didn’t.

    Thank you for making me feel less alone. <– that was sarcasm. <— but not mean sarcasm like "oooh, talking about DW is sooo lame," but like "why don't my friends like DW and it makes me sad that they don't, but to say I feel alone because my friends don't like the same TV show I do is silly." <– I should be in bed.

  207. And the internet thought seeing 10 with a cat on that one picture was adorable? This might be the Wil Wheaton collating paper of the Doctor Who Fandom…

    I see that old gif and raise you one Nine-lookalike with a never ending string of cat companions.

  210. How is The Doctor? did you get to see the tardis or do you think it’s in the operating room? That is so totally cool and your vet should be expecting the same reaction you gave him. I wish I could have been there!

  211. Dear Miz Bloggess.
    This is the first comment I’ve ever made that wasn’t my politically wonky bullshit in response to some other asshole’s politically wonky bullshit.

    You have saved me from the drudge rut with your really funny shit. Advertently you have saved my life, thank you very much. I say advertently as I know the truth about humor, regardless of the fact that I veered from the way of the rim shot with a foray into the porn called politics. I am in a 12 step program of recovery but, I am eternally vigilant for a program with fewer steps, the ideal being a 1 step program, which appeals to me on several levels the first of which is that I am an artist and we all know that artists are insufferably lazy, hence the run-on sentence.

    At the risk of coming off like someone who writes love letters to Amy Sedaris, I seek your interest and counsel. I was around for the beginning of PBS and loved all the “foreign” influences, there in. Big fan of Python, Faulty Towers, on and on down to and including the Hitchhiker’s Guide. (I believe that Douglas Adams was a screen writer for Dr. Who). I am sorry to report that to my own amazement, I missed Dr. Who.
    I have seen it off and on, but I never saw it the way you see it. I envy your….diaspora. I feel , somehow, unfulfilled. I attribute my whiff, to the fact that the DW that stole your heart and mind happened during the period of my life I was working on becoming and being a responsible adult , parent and the Bruce of my Clan. Well, after 66 years I see that didn’t exactly work out as well has it had been envisioned, as I am no longer the Bruce and the kids are measuring me for a spot on an ice floe. Fuck that, I am leaning into spending their inheritance on something fast and powerful. Anyway I want to know where I can catch up with the Doctor, as I feel like we can not be BFF’s until I am fluent in DW.

    I know how strange I feel about folks who do not attend the Church of Torque and Recoil where precious fossil fuel is turned into noise.

  212. I must confess Ive never watched Dr Who, but feel like I know it because I read The Bloggess. Now with this time traveling vet twist added .. how can I NOT start watching it??

  214. I really wish I could be a fly on the wall when you and Victor have one of your chats. You really would imagine he would know better after all this time. Thank you so much for all you do.

  215. So are you getting a commission for all the new business you just sent his way? Or are you hiding from him as he curses your name since he’ll no doubt be inundated with requests for pics from Dr. Who fanatics taking up valuable pet saving time? But if he IS the Doctor, then no time will be wasted so the fans won’t be an issue after all… So back to the original question, are you on commission? 🙂

  218. Huh. Not sure how I could figure out where you lived by this post, but I did figure it out from your book.

  219. My favorite Doctor Is Your VET. O_O I wish my cats were awesome enough for that…
    You would indeed make an awesome companion for the Doctor. Maybe he was trying to play it cool because later, he’s gonna get his TARDIS and take you with him.

  220. I went out on a date with a woman who spoke about Dr. Who for the 124 minutes and 34 seconds we were together, or as I now refer to that time: two hours and five minutes of my life I’ll never get back even if I had a frickin’ Tardis. Tried though I did to alleviate the painful, one-way, Dalek-heavy conversation with shots and shots of delicious deafening alcohol, I finally decided suicide was the only way out. I considered self-immolation, and repeatedly jumping from the (2nd story) window til I broke enough bones to die.

    Eventually I decided to stay alive so that I could post a blog about this woman. I am giving you the link should you care to read about someone else’s pain, which is something I totally get off on.
    http://damiengaleone.com/blog/?p=1291

  222. I am trying not to hold you calling him Doctor Who against you for the sake of the joke. I wish I was less of a jerk. Then I would have enjoyed it instead of knee jerk correcting it in my head.

  225. “He and his wife enjoy traveling in their free time” I’ll just leave that here.

  226. Been looking for my sense if humor. Who knew a weird ass woman in curlers would bring it back. Thank you thank you.

  227. “Doctor Who neutered my cat” is my new expression for “holy shit” and “that’s amazing”.

  232. Maybe he isn’t The Doctor, maybe he’s the villain from Gone in 60 Seconds and he’s using Nicholas Cage and Vinnie Jones to steal a bunch of cars and he is using the Gallifrey story as cover. Although, you have to be a special kind of awesome to use being a Time Lord as cover for actually being a car theft mastermind and pull it off, all while giving vaccinations to small domestic animals. So maybe we should let him keep that Mustang…

  233. OMG! Your Doctor Tim Lord is in Spring Branch, which is right next to Canyon Lake, and I’ve been there!
    Of course, I’ve also been to Ding Dong, TX, so, maybe that’s not surprising.
    (Like a hooker on a cruise ship, I get around.)

  235. The Vet my mom goes to looks like the 4th Doctor. He does the mobile thing, he goes to the houses and all that, and he walked in and I turned around to say hi and gawked. Looks and sounds like Tom Baker (minus the accent).

  236. i am trying to get ahold of the only actor on doctor who who really is a time lord in real life if some one can find him i live at 4045 castel dr. groveport ohio 43125 tell him my name is time lord horous king scorpion king david hickle i am his son the time lord i am searching for his name is the greek titan god kronus/cronus

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