It was an easy answer, really.

Victor:  If you could have dinner with anyone – dead or alive – who would you pick?

me:  I guess I’d probably pick “alive”.

Victor:  That’s…actually a good choice.

146 replies. read them below or add one

  1. HAHA! good choice. I just spit my drink out at the wit. totally worth it.

    Like

    Charlotte @ Commitness to Fitness recently posted Foodstuff Friday- A Little Bubbly.

  2. 2
    CancerKiller

    That is awesome!

    Like

  3. Hahaha, you crack me up.

    Like

    Allison recently posted Poppy Seed Chicken Bake.

  4. Excellent choice. You wouldn’t much enjoy your dinner otherwise.

    Like

    Jillian recently posted What’s Next For Smut – Lucy Felthouse Guest Posts.

  5. Honestly, I think having dinner with the dead one would be a better conversation starter.

    Like

    moooooog35 recently posted Proud Ninja Dad.

  6. The “dead” scenario is the only way you get to live your own Weekend at Bernie’s moments.

    Think this stuff through.

    Like

    Backpacking Dad recently posted Backpacking Dad’s Southwest Road Trip (Part 3): Flagstaff.

  7. Brilliant. Someone recently asked me a similar question, and I just stared at him blankly, which is much less clever.

    Like

    Observacious recently posted Who is Tracy Letts and why is he so f'ing talented?.

  8. But it would be cool to throw in just one dead person to give a weekend at Bernie’s, feel.

    Like

    Sharon recently posted Kicking Ass, Semi-Kicking Ass, And Getting My Ass Kicked.

  9. Best answer ever.

    Like

  10. Although if they’re alive, you have to share the food.

    Like

    Marinka recently posted Update.

  11. Haha, yes, Alive makes a mean chicken parm😉

    Like

    Megan recently posted Finding Food Trucks This Summer in Boston.

  12. That’s the most romantic thing he’s ever said.

    Like

    Courtney Weber recently posted A Witch’s Wheel of the Year and an *Actual* Witch’s Wheel of the Year.

  13. I’d choose Alive too. But only because I want to remember eating food. I love food.

    Like

    Carmen recently posted Unloading.

  14. I guess it depends on whether they were DEAD-dead or UNDEAD-dead. Because I guess having dinner with an undead might not be so bad, as long as I’m not on the menu.

    But an all dead person wouldn’t be much of a conversationalist and the smell would probably kill my appetite.

    Like

    Kari recently posted Life is so much easier when people’s expectations of you are low.

  15. 15
    Shannon Fielding

    Obviously. The dead make smelly dinner partners. Although, some of the living….

    Like

  16. 16
    Annadanna from Canada

    What about half-dead. Like Zombies or vampires. Or the Jonas brothers.

    Like

  17. Victor should be more careful before he leaves out the Undead. Zombies, Vampires, and the like don’t tend to be a very forgiving sort.

    Like

    TechyDad recently posted Pirate Party at Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores.

  18. One of the first cartoons ever published by Stephan Pastis was this joke.

    http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/two-cartoons-living-or-dead/

    Like

  19. Well, just in case . . . here is a sample menu for a dinner with the dead: http://www.festivalofthedead.com/dumbsupper.html

    They suggest serving the meal backwards.

    {I am pretty sure reading this blog on a regular basis has resulted in a radical shift in whatever conclusions might be drawn about me based on my Google search history.}

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    Robyn Straley recently posted First Friday: YBR Proust, Sam Spurlin.

  20. Bah dum, chhhh!

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    Junk Drawer Kathy recently posted Dysfonctionnement de Garde-robe.

  21. LOL Perfect answer.🙂

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    Crystal recently posted Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party: Dedicated to Dad.

  22. I’d probably pick dead. It would be quieter. (I have a 6 year old daughter who talks constantly.)

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    a recently posted Trying to do my part.

  23. I dunno…the dead rarely ask to share your fries…

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    Erin recently posted Ship Captain's Duvet Cover.

  24. I’d pick a member of the Rolling Stones. Might as well kill two birds with… er.. you know.

    Like

    Drew recently posted I’m Fairly Certain There’s a Worm Hole in the Company Refrigerator.

  25. Really depends on how anxious one is feeling, and the state of the corpse. I mean, I’d rather have dinner with a urn of ashes than some people…

    Like

    Levi recently posted Unicorn Father’s Day.

  26. Wait, is the question for the guest to be dead or alive, or Victor to be dead or alive? I’m in that odd phase of my migraine where if I were asked that question I would have a very Corpse Bride montage in my head. Fun for me, not so much for the person seeing me staring blankly at them.

    Like

  27. What if they were dead AND TAXIDERMIED? Then it would be a much tougher choice, am I right?

    Like

  28. This is why I love you.

    Like

    Emelie recently posted Dear Diary: I’m Feeling Nostalgic.

  29. 29
    Carlotta Regina Tristania III

    So you wouldn’t have dinner with Juanita?

    Like

  30. Yeah, go with alive because the dead would be zombies or vampires and YOU’D be dinner

    Like

    stacey recently posted Wordy Wednesday.

  31. 31
    Carlotta Regina Tristania III

    Plus, I’m just saying, you dine with the dead, there’s no fight over who gets the last slice of pizza.

    Like

  32. 32
    wasnt_serious

    The obvious answer is usually the one that no one chooses. I am so glad your mind just ignores the “normal” and goes for the simplest.

    Like

  33. Best answer ever!

    Like

    Summer recently posted The big launch this weekend.

  34. Ha! the best!

    Like

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted How to Stop Complaining.

  35. Though I imagine dinners when your dead could consist of ice cream, chocolate, cake and you wouldn’t gain a pound. Tough choice!

    Like

    Brenda Dion recently posted Could Someone Buy Amanda Bynes a Thesaurus…Please!.

  36. 36
    TheAvasmommy

    Dead people won’t pick off your plate or whine and complain throughout the entire meal.
    The downside is those fuckers are notorious for not picking up the check, so there is that.

    Like

  37. Love it! And I hate to spoil the fun, but one day would you tell us the other answer as well?

    Like

    The Advicist recently posted I’m 15. Why Shouldn’t I Kill Myself?.

  38. Love it! Not only was it a great answer, but Victor actually agreed with you! 🙂

    Like

    Nicki recently posted Baking Bread.

  39. No undead option? Yeah, you made the right choice.🙂

    Like

    Liesl recently posted What's with all these holes?.

  40. Although dead people never take bites of my dessert even though they specifically said they didn’t want dessert in the first place even when I said that they always take a bite of my dessert but they said this time they wouldn’t because they were so full but the stupid waiter brings two spoons anyway so now there’s this pressure to actually use the spoon and I have to create a wall of glasses and napkins to deter the inevitable encroachment from across the table and then I’m seen as selfish even though they could have just ordered some frigging dessert themselves. Just saying.

    Like

  41. Hmmm… have you been reading too much Stephan Pastis lately?😉
    http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/two-cartoons-living-or-dead/

    Like

  42. With some of the people in my life lately, it is difficult to tell the difference! The conversation drags either way!

    Like

  43. 45
    E M Foster

    Alive would mean more conversation but dead would mean more food for you. I guess it’s all about what you want from the meal. 😀

    Like

  44. Excellent choice. The conversation will most likely be MUCH more interesting.

    Like

  45. That is fabulous!!

    Like

  46. There is something to be said about a nice quiet dinner companion who doesn’t chew loudly or dominate the conversation.

    Like

    SaraBeth recently posted Release Me.

  47. Ah, being alive. Nothing beats that really.

    Like

    Holly Folly recently posted Debarking and Logs for that House..

  48. 50
    Katie bo-batie

    So wait, are you dead/alive or is your dinner companion dead/alive? The answer’s the same (for me), but now I’m curious.

    Like

  49. I would just pick the restaurant, that’s all that matters to me.

    Like

    Laurie F. recently posted Yellow Magic Madness # 17 Rubber Ducks.

  50. Hmm, reckon I’d choose alive as well. Death kind of puts me off my feed.

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    Allison recently posted Book Feature & Giveaway - Climb the Highest Mountain.

  51. If you picked dead, there’s be more food for you! noms…

    Like

    Melissa recently posted Running from Zombies.

  52. Alive and I’m in the mood for Mexican food.

    Like

    Carm recently posted My Worst Habits.

  53. I’d choose dead, if it means a dinner party with Betelgeuse and the Bananaboat Song.

    Like

    Dana the Biped recently posted I was going to post, but then I nerded out instead..

  54. Well zombies are people too.

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    Dijea recently posted Well, ~insert expletive here~ !.

  55. If they are dead and they are eating, then I guess it is the Zombie Apocalypse. Do you really want to eat dinner with someone that is trying to gnaw on your arm? Makes it hard to use your cutlery effectively. Alive is the safest choice.

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    ashley recently posted OPEN HOUSE UPDATE!!.

  56. I don’t know, dead brings a certain something to the table!😉

    Like

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Pinterest Nightmare #652: Human Snaggletooth Necklace.

  57. That is awesome!!!!

    Like

    Amanda R. recently posted Flying with Jacob.

  58. I think she meant *she* would be alive. Not the dinner guest. Who may or may not be alive.

    Like

  59. Wait, like zombie dead, or ghost dead? I wouldn’t mind conversing with a ghost about what it’s like to be deceased. I don’t think zombies talk much.

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    Julie recently posted How to Get Baby to Sleep in 17 Simple Steps.

  60. Nobody wants to eat with a corpse. Think of the cleanup! And what if an ear fell off into the queso?

    Like

  61. Of course you could make them wear Wolf Blitzer while eating dinner and then they’d kinda sorta be both, right?

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    Kara recently posted Robert Plant – Big Log.

  62. Agreed! Alive makes better dinner conversation.

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    Linda recently posted Coconut Creamsicle Sodas.

  63. Better conversation potential, I suppose.

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    Jess recently posted Snakipeder Defense League: ACTIVATE!.

  64. I would eat the dead one. The living tend to scream and
    it might hurt my ears.

    Like

  65. That fact that I’ve never thought to give that answer before, makes me feel like a failure. Thank you, only you and my dog has ever made me feel that way ;-P

    Like

    Mona recently posted How teaching my dog how to swim became a Doctor Who episode..

  66. You know, too few people appreciate the simplest answers. I like it. I’d rather have dinner with someone alive as well.

    Like

    Stephanie recently posted The 5 Worst TV Shows I’ve Ever Loved.

  67. I like Victor’s reaction. The slight hesitation suggests he was thinking he, himself, is fortunate that you feel that way. If you had chosen “dead”, that could have meant dire consequences for your relationship😉

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    whatimeant2say recently posted When You Have a Dog Called Wonderbutt, All Other Names Pale in Comparison.

  68. Ahaha love it.

    Like

    Ashley recently posted Confession: I used to be a slut shamer..

  69. ROFLMAO I’m always biting my bottom lip when I visit your site to stop from cracking up so damn loud I scare others. I’d pick Prince but only because today is his birthday.

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    Southern Girl recently posted Approaching 2 Year Hair Anniversary.

  70. 73
    Christine

    Not much point in eating with anyone if you are dead… I mean seriously does anyone else remember nearly headless nicks death day party? Ewww.

    Like

  71. I like how you said “probably.”

    Like

  72. Ok, so no zombies over for dinner. Got it.

    Like

    Tracy @ Momaical recently posted Fancy Spa: A Review.

  73. Sure….but maybe someone dead would be seriously interesting. The trip to the restaurant alone would be a good story.

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    sj recently posted Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Stranger.......

  74. Excellent answer! Ask a a stupid question….

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    Tina, Escrow Goddess recently posted This just needed to be shared!.

  75. My very first thought was of an Eddie Izzard joke:

    “Cake or death?”
    “Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry…”
    “You said death first, uh-uh, death first!”
    “Well, I meant cake!”

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    Kate. recently posted Healing in the Heartland.

  76. Who’s dead in this scenario? You? Your dinner companion?

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    Courtney recently posted A Dangerous Inheritance.

  77. Brilliant!😀

    Like

  78. Awesome.

    Like

    Robert recently posted hello.

  79. I AM SO HAPPY! I just read that the coolest new shoes are SHOWER SLIPPERS!!!!
    time for me to go shopping – it will be the first time i will have cool, in style shoes in , uh, ever?
    I had to share this with you, Jenny.

    Like

  80. 84
    Nancy Staub

    Do dead people eat? I thought that was for zombies only! Still all in all Victor…. Good choice!

    Like

  81. Yay for good choices!

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    Rachel recently posted I'm Not Dead.

  82. I wonder if the future will have a time travel/resurrection service that brings dead people back for the sole purpose of having dinner with clients.

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    KMB recently posted I'm A Minor Duchess Of Broken Promises.

  83. Love it! Never thought about it that way before…

    Like

    Punky Coletta recently posted One of the best places to do it. Eavesdropping, I mean..

  84. Ahh, now we all know the truth–Victor tries to bait you into saying weird things.

    Like

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Grow herbs, not grass.

  85. Who is paying, that’s all that matters. Because I’d pick a free dinner with say, Al Capone, than a dinner I had to pay for with Ghandi. Only Ghandi would still be a good pick as you might get him when he was on a hunger strike, so you would just have to pay for your dinner. Just to be sure, take Ghandi to a steak house.

    “oh sorry, it’s just steak, I hear the Porterhouse is excellent!”

    Like

  86. I’m not so sure about your answer, think about this for a minute, apart from the smell there may be some advantages to dead dinner companions. If the other person at dinner was dead you could totally eat their dessert and no one would notice, cause hey, they’re dead.

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    The Suzzzz recently posted Get Out!.

  87. WAIT!!!!!! When Victor said “dead”….oh nevermind. I pick alive, too. I’ve been thinking about this for about an hour and thought I changed my mind….but I didn’t.

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    Carm recently posted Don’t Read This Post – it’s weird….

  88. 92
    daffodil101

    Ah guys, I think she means that *she* would rather be alive than dead during the dinner. I guess it’s a bit either-way, but Victor confirms it. Also, I just saw Hotel Transylvania and it was awesome- best catchphrase ‘Holy rabies’. This all makes sense in my head.

    Like

  89. I really don’t know that I’m going to be able to hold it together long enough to WAIT for someone to ask me that question so I can totally steal your answer. I must find a way to artificially insert this question into a situation…….

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    Kelly recently posted And this is why I need to rethink my priorities.

  90. I agree, best answer ever!!

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    Mexmom recently posted Another approach at discipline.

  91. Okay, maybe. But you know the dead ones never steal your french fries, so there is that to think about.

    Like

  92. I’d have lunch with Hunter S. Thomcat. If you would walk in the room, I’d consider it a bonus!

    Like

  93. The smell of the person would make you less queasy, anyway. At least, you’d hope – I guess maybe not ALWAYS.

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    A Morning Grouch recently posted Bow To Your Thighness: 3 Guiding Principles For Physical and Mental Health.

  94. Poor simple Victor–what was he thinking???

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    leanne tankel recently posted Running (second only to drinking) Is My Favorite Sport.

  95. 99
    Judy Sceifres

    Good choice. Dead people smell funny and they never keep up their end of the conversation.

    Like

  96. Oh my God! Dead is SO MUCH BETTER Jenny.

    Trust me, I’m speaking from experience.

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    The Six-Fingered Monkey recently posted Dummy.

  97. Love it! You always make me feel less stabby.

    Like

  98. I’d have to say I agree. I might be more specific as live Paris Hilton is probably less engaging than a dead Tesla. But YMMV.

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    Shawn recently posted Stop taunting me!.

  99. I don’t know…if it’s something awesome, if they’re dead…than you get twice as much.

    Like

    Megly Mc recently posted Mumford and Sons…not fans of alternative proteins….

  100. Smartest. Woman. Ever.

    Well done.

    Like

    Shannon recently posted Foodie Firsts: Mung Beans.

  101. 105
    Holly (a.k.a. Adore Prince)

    Come on — I want to know the answer to the implied question. David Gandy? Jesus? Hitler? Martha Stewart? Prince ? (ok, maybe that’s just me!) Michelle Obama? Jon Stewart? Gandhi? Victor? (just kidding!) Don’t make me write an entire list…

    Like

  102. Jenny, it’s like we don’t even know you.

    Like

    HogsAteMySister recently posted Karma Notes: What Goes Around Comes Around.

  103. AWESOME CHOICE!!! LOLOLOLOL

    Although I might think harder on that if I knew the terms of dead. Does that mean i can play tricks on people and have supernatural powers?
    That might be attractive….

    Like

    B recently posted Skeptical Hope.

  104. I would choose “Dead of Alive” Or both. Depending on the Iteration.

    “You spin me right rough baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round…”

    Earth Moon Sun. They made a bid.

    Like

    Robin Snuttjer recently posted OK, a little background history….

  105. Mind you I was watching the news this morning and over here it’s all about Prince Philip and his wee op for abdominal investigatory surgery, sheesh no one mentioned mine and I got bruised on http://tomstronach.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this-one-you.html and then there was a piece on Nelson Mandela and it’s not looking good and I suddenly thought, ‘If there is an after life, how will the conversations go between Nelson Mandela and Gandhi, would they have a punch up over whose non violent approach was the right way to go’ Just a thought…..

    Like

    Tom Stronach recently posted Book Review: Nothing Lasts Forever By Roderick Thorpe.

  106. 110
    Lady Penelope

    But wasn’t Dread Pirate Roberts ‘mostly dead’?

    Like

  107. I think you mean YOU would want to be alive, not the dinner companion….this made me snort when I read it though, I have never heard that response, but I will be anxiously awaiting that question now so I can use it. Just like I long for someone to say “my face hurts” so I can respond with “It’s killing me…” *sigh*

    Like

  108. I don’t know… If you’re dead you don’t have to worry about who’s picking up the check or those awkward silences or whether somebody put something nasty in your food or choosing the restaurant or picking something from a huge menu or if you don’t even like the other person…etc…

    And if it’s the other person you meant, this is from someone who is constantly surrounded by dead animals, so I’m not sure the answer in that case is so obvious…

    Like

  109. Ha! How about ethically taxidermied? They could be posed, ‘Here’s Louis XIV throwing a bread stick.’

    Like

  110. I think it depends on how dead they are.

    Like

    Dawnie recently posted I won't mind your buzzcocks if you won't mind mine..

  111. You make my day. (And I mean that sincerely, not in a Clint Eastwood kind of way.)

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Co-inka Dink.

  112. I agree with P.C. …
    I never thought of it that way before.
    I choose ALIVE too. Interesting answers up there of which I expect some to be true to some personalities – one saying it depends on “how dead they were”… does not make you wonder what that person wanted the date for – not someone I want to go out with.

    Like

  113. Witty as always lol!

    Like

  114. Nice snappy answer – love it. Your blog is my go-to when I need to laugh out loud.

    Like

    Malia recently posted Lines.

  115. Could you be dead and have dinner with someone alive? ‘Cause that might be kinda fun… but only if you could come back from the dead once the meal was over, of course.

    Like

    Jackie recently posted S#!t My Kids Said.

  116. Definitely alive. Dead would either be boring conversationally or be a zombie, which means that the dinner prepared would go to waste while s/he/it tried to chew your brains.

    Dick Cheney is a grey area, though, so probably leave him out of the consideration pool altogether….

    Like

    MsHazard recently posted Don’t worry!.

  117. Been watching Hannibal haven’t you?…

    Like

  118. Depends on what’s for dinner, and who the person is. Like if it were lobster, I might be okay with them being newly non-stinking dead (or long dead sans stench) so I could eat it all, or if my dinner partner were Hitler, I would prefer him dead, what with the whole being a Jew thing.

    Like

    JRose recently posted Life Lessons: Inside Voices.

  119. 123
    Rev. Mary Helen

    You dead or alive? or the other person?

    Like

  120. I have never thought about that question so literally. I love it!

    Like

    Karen Peterson recently posted Karen's Blog of the Week: Untypically Jia!.

  121. Got to give it to him…that was a good one.

    Like

    TPPC.tv, Pets Teach Us So Much Radio Show, Podcast & Blog recently posted The Love Genies, Beyond Making Your Partner Purr.

  122. I’m guessing I’d probably go with alive too … if only just from the aspect of appreciating the food….

    Like

  123. Love it! 🙂

    Like

    Shoes recently posted The Right Clothes for the Job.

  124. 128
    Imperfect Jessica

    I know this goes without saying but – you are freaking awesome

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    Imperfect Jessica recently posted The other side of the mirror.

  125. That was sickeningly beautiful

    Like

    Brigitte Nieberl recently posted You know it's a good day when you haven't had to put on a bra.

  126. So clever! I bet you are excellent at riddles. Let’s say you’d chosen a dead person to eat dinner with. Would the dead person just have to sit there and watch you eat your food? That wouldn’t be very fun for them. Maybe you could take the dead person of your choice to a carnival. Ride the Ferris Wheel with Kurt Vonnegut, or wear a stuffed animal for George Washington.

    Like

    Sarah recently posted True Confessions: I got a Boston Terrier at a yard sale!.

  127. Really, the question should be:
    “What person, alive or enjoying the afterlife, would you like to join for happy hour?”
    There are no “dead” or “undead” people to deal with, plus no commitment to dinner, with or without the possibility of dessert. And, really, even if the person you thought would be awesome in the afterlife turned out to be a total douche-nugget, it is just an hour.

    Like

  128. I mean…what kind of dead are we talking?

    Like

    Mom Off Meth recently posted Mr. Johnny Cash.

  129. I think a dinner with a zombie would be kind of awesome….😀

    Like

    Miss Gee recently posted Hello from Germany!.

  130. I was about to say, “Joe Strummer,” when I was invited to contemplate the existential debate begun by a comma. Well done. I’d still pick Joe. And yes, alive. Both of us. Because who needs a zombie Clash? I liked the human one. Now I’m just getting weird.

    Like

  131. Kind of like a sign that says. “Breakfast Anytime” Well, I’d like breakfast during the renaissance. Yep, I stole that. I’m not proud.

    Like

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  132. Yeah because if you picked someone dead, they might be zombies and you might be dinner.

    Like

    Holly Briley recently posted My Big Fat Redneck Funeral.

  133. You should have picked the middle-ground and had dinner with zombies, only make sure they’re chained to the chair and don’t EVER reach in front of them for the potatos.

    Like

    Adjunct Proff recently posted Who Can It Be Now?.

  134. Comedian Jimmy Carr said the same thing.

    Like

  135. Good answer. Mine would be God. If he/she showed up would prove his existance, if not, we would know to start worshipping something else! Also, I’d like Eddie Izzard there, think he would be fun.

    Like

    Vicky recently posted Old Toothy!.

  136. but if you had dinner with a dead person you could ask them questions like:

    do the maggots bother you?
    did you see a bright white light?

    and the ever important, “how are we having this conversation?”

    Like

  137. This is one of those “Why did I not think of that” moments

    Like

    Az recently posted Replying To A Comment About Lady Fluff.

  138. Is there really any choice?

    Like

    The Hook recently posted A Harbinger of Things To Come?.

  139. I have an open castle day every week where we serve food to the peasants. You can dine with me.

    Like

    The King recently posted Why there are no photos of me.

  140. Hahaha!

    Can I re-post this, please?😀

    Like

    monalisachong recently posted My Bloggess.com Experience.

  141. There are some evenings when I would prefer dead company to live dinner conversation. Oh, that’s why I have an adorable dog.

    Like

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