Texts to Victor:
me: Hey, I just found some of those “love dare cards” at the antique store and they’re so awful that I kind of want to buy them.
Victor: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
me: Oh, you know. Those cards that people use when they don’t know what to do in bed anymore and so they have to draw cards to tell them imaginative stuff to do to each other.
Victor: At an antique store?
me: Well, they’re “Christian” cards. So they’re less “sexy” and more…I dunno… “really horrible”?
Victor: What the hell are you talking about?
me: Hang on. Sending you a picture:
Victor: Wow. Totally turned on right now.
me: So I was going to buy the cards because they seemed like they’d be funny for $2.50, but now the clerk is saying they’re $2.50 per card. He wants me to pay a hundred bucks for old cards that might possibly be the only thing to save my marriage.
Victor: What? You just want them to make fun of them.
me: Yeah, but HE DOESN’T KNOW THAT.
Victor: Good point. Not very Christian of him.
Victor: I was being sarcastic.
me: Ah. Hard to tell over text messages.