I’m probably going to get yelled at for this.

in Random Crap

Conversation I had with a friend who will remain nameless:

Her:  Don’t forget to wear orange today for anti-bullying unity day.

me: I work at home.  No one sees me but the cats.  And those cats don’t give a shit about bullying.  In fact, I suspect they’re proponents of it.

Her:  You should still wear orange.  For the principle.

me:   I’m half-Slavic and I look sickly in orange.  It’s literally the worst color in the world for me.  I’m basically begging people to ask me if I’m ill all day.

her: And by “people” I assume you mean “the cats who don’t give a shit about you“?

me:  It sort of feels like you’re bullying me into wearing orange.

her: Well, it’s not considered bullying if you’re doing it for the right reasons.  Like, to stop bullying from happening.

me: Right.  I’m blogging all of this.

her:  Well, don’t include my name.  You can’t write something dismissive about bullying on anti-bullying day.  You’ll totally get yelled at.

me: So, I’m going to get bullied on anti-bullying day by people who are actively fighting against bullying?

her:  Yeah.  But if you wear orange you can sort of do whatever you want.  It’s like a pass, I think.

me: Or a trap.  Because everyone wearing orange is marked as being a non-bully and so now the bullies know how to recognize and target the pacifists.  I suspect The National Bullies League started this whole thing.

her:  There’s no such thing as The National Bullies League.  I don’t think they’re that organized.

me:  That’s what they said about the Illuminati.  Besides, this wear-a-color thing is a slippery slope.  Does it mean I’m now forced to wear colors for other things?  Like, if I don’t wear lavender on Tuesdays does it mean I hate babies?

her: You do hate babies.

me:  I don’t hate all babies.  I liked my baby.  Is there maybe a color I can wear to signify that I’m really only concerned about things that revolve specifically around me?

her: I don’t think they make a color for “narcissism.”

me:  How about just t-shirt with a picture of my own face on it?

her: You’re going to get a lot of hate mail.

me:  But technically that’s good, because if people are going to yell about this ridiculousness then they’re possibly bullies and I’m giving them an easy target so they don’t take out their rage kicking small dogs or throw pointy things at innocent children.  If anything, I’m helping to stop bullying.  Or at least redirect it.

her:  You’re a damn hero.  Someone should give you a medal.

me: Oh, I wouldn’t go that far.  But I wouldn’t turn one down.

PS. In all seriousness, bullying is shitty and you shouldn’t do it.  That being said, almost no one who is real a bully actually realizes it, so I sort of think it would be better if we had a “Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole” Awareness Day, because honestly, if you don’t think you’re occasionally an asshole then you are totally an asshole.  That’s basically the whole testing process for assholes.  Empathetic people realize that they’re all assholes sometimes and this will help them to be a little more aware, which works for everyone.  Assholes who don’t realize they’re assholes will realize they’re assholes after taking the “Are-you-ever-an-asshole?  No?  Well-then, you’re-an-asshole” diagnostic test and then they can start the process of healing.  Assholes who didn’t take the test because they’re assholes and are proud of it should be stabbed in the leg on “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day” because that way they’ll still be assholes but we’ll be able to identify them by their limps.

PPS.  I think I just encouraged stabbing on “Anti-Bullying Day”, which I’m fairly certain might be considered a little like bullying itself.  Which explains why I’m not wearing orange.  Full circle, you guys.

294 thoughts on “I’m probably going to get yelled at for this.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I got berated at work for not wearing pink on Oct 1 for breast cancer awareness. I am sure I will be at least partially responsible for some breast cancer deaths now. And I don’t own anything fucking PINK.

    (I’m getting my first mammogram this week. If something shows up I’ll know exactly who to blame. ~ Jenny)

  5. Damn. I hope it comes back clean. And have fun with your first mammogram.
    Two things:

    It sucks.
    It doesn’t suck as bad as you think it’s going to.

  7. I’m not sure what color I would wear on Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Day but I’m sure it would be fabulous.

  8. Isn’t orange a color for inmates? I imagine a good amount of bullies end up in prison one day just because that’s where mean bullies go, so isn’t orange more sympathetic with the bullier and not the bullied? Just a thought. The colors orange and yellow make me look jaundiced, I simply can’t wear them but I am firmly against bullying.

  9. You’re right–assholes have no self-awareness. I like your asshole diagnostic test much better. I might force a few people to take that. But not today because that could be construed as bullying. And I don’t have any orange. So I’ll just try to be nice today.

  10. Yeah, what color would you wear for Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole day?

    I work at home too and the guinea pigs may mistake me for food if I wear orange, therefore I usually wear black.

  11. Mammory-grams only hurt for a few seconds. Totally worth it. Congrats for being brave.

  14. a. can you patent that asshole test? Maybe like a breath-a-lizer that I could have people blow on who are being assholes to me. Then they could see right there on litmus paper that they are actually assholes. I’m sure that would make them want to stop.
    b. I never really thought about it but cats ARE bullies in a way that dogs have never even thought of.
    c. That color for narcism, does it come in my husband’s size?
    d. I have babies, even my own, but they all become 5 year olds one day and then we have something to talk about.

  15. I am a total ass hole (sometimes)…but I would be willing to curb it on a holiday…as long as my kids still have school…and Target remains open…and possible has special sales. The bullies should wear orange…let them have the bad color.

  16. It’s Wednesday. We’re not allowed to stab people on Wednesday. (no-stabbing-Wednesday, grifter tradition)

  17. I’m wearing brown to match my boots. Brown is close to orange, right? I have this obnoxious highlighter orange tank top that says Las Vegas on it, but somehow I don’t think it would show my awareness for anti-bullying. I think it would show my awareness for the 70s being a good decade. This is harder than I thought.

  18. I like the idea of volunteering to take all the bullying onto yourself so that everyone else is spared… So selfless, you.

    Where I work the people who are trained at mediation are the most manipulative and intimidating so I’m not surprised your anti-bullying friend was bullying you about anti-bullying.

  20. I completely accidentally wore orange today because it was the last clean sweater. And I ate a salad with french dressing. I am, apparently, unconsciously really opposed to bullying.

  22. Thank you for standing up for those of us who hate bullying (and other bad things) but don’t think clicking or wearing funny clothes brings real change! And for making me laugh on a horrible day.

  24. Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Day is totally going to tak off. I vote that the color for that day is black, because almost everyone looks good in black. Or maybe any color with shirts that says “If you think you’re never an asshole, you are totally an asshole. Stop being such an asshole.” I would totally wear that.

  25. Can you please please PLEASE make a “Maybe You Should Stop Being Such An Asshole” t-shirt for your zazzle store??? Or at least a coffee mug?

  26. Here’s the way it works – if I know about the “Wear [ insert colour ] for [ insert cause ] day” in advance there is a 100% chance I don’t own any clothing in that colour. However, if I own lots of clothing in a specific colour I only find out about the day after (with a 100% chance of not remembering next year).

    Also, I don’t think it does any good. It’s actions, policies, and backbones that change things, not an orange shirt, or a pink skirt….

  27. As a rep from the The National Bullies League I am only authorized to say that we have no comment at this time.

  29. for the person who didn’t wear pink on Oct 1, it’s totally okay, apparently whoever made that decision wasn’t aware of the rules… Because Oct 1. was a Tuesday… and we wear pink in WEDNESDAYS. #rulesoffeminism

  30. Is Bitch & Bully the same thing? I can own up to being a bitch… but I don’t bitch directly at no one for no reason… So is bitch and Asshole the same thing? And if so HOW do I categorize which category I really am? Bullying day is just to complicated for me…

  32. I had to visit a client in jail today who was, rather appropriately, wearing inmate issued orange. I am not allowed to wear orange while visiting with inmates so hopefully I have some kind of exemption/loophole. That being said, since I’m in criminal defense, I am probably seen as part of the problem anyways so why bother with wearing orange for appearance’s sake.

  33. Excuse me, I need to run home and put an orange shirt on my cat. She’s always making me do stuff that I don’t want to do. My Chihuahuas are a little iffy too. Is there an anti-bullying class I can send them too? Maybe I should just get them all orange shirts made with “I’m an asshole” printed on the back.

  34. Would brown be too obvious for “Maybe stop being an Ass-hole Awareness Day?” : D

  35. I reached over to pet my cat and poked her in the eye. Does that mean I am being the bully today or is it okay because she can be a real asshole at times.

  36. I can’t wear black on Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Day because my dog sheds everywhere. Shit. Does that make me an asshole for not wanting black? Gray is like in between white and black. Does that work? Maybe I can just wear an armband or something? We could design a patch with a little asshole on it and a big red circle with a line through it. I’d wear that. I mean, I don’t know if I could wear it at work, but if my boss said something about it, I could educate him. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be misconstrued as an asshole. Oh, man. We need a pamphlet.

  37. Your words of hope have convinced me to turn over a new leaf. From now on, I’m going to punch one fewer person in the face each day.

    Small steps.

  40. “narcissism” I know correcting the spelling on other people’s posts is totally assholic, so I should not wear orange. Or I should. I’m confused. I think wearing orange would be a punishment, so I’ll wear it as penance for being a spelling bitch. (Also, I’m sure I’ve totally misspelled words in this very post)

    (God. I’m the worst at spelling. And actually, not telling someone they misspelled something seems more assholish than pointing out errors. It’s like having your skirt tucked into your hose. Good people tell you. Assholes just let you go to work that way. ~ Jenny)

  41. oh yes… totally “don’t be such an asshole” mug. I want to go into the office early and put leave them on some very specific desks….. you know, provide a present AND provide a life lesson….. good vibes all around!

  42. Oh, so that’s why those guys in the office next door were wearing orange….when they got out of back of those squad cars…. It wasn’t municipal court day at all. They were just supporting anti-bullying awareness.

  43. And yeah, I said one fewer person, instead of one less person, which would have been technically correct since “one” is a dimensionless number.

    Because I refuse to be bullied by confusing grammar rules.

  44. Don’t Be Such an Asshole Awareness Day is an awesome idea.

    They DO make a color for narcissism: yellow. (The narcissus flower, named after the dude, I presume.)

    She’s right, the mammogram isn’t as bad as you think it will be. Except for the nipple stickers.

  45. Convicted felons often wear orange prison garb (when does anyone wear ‘garb’ except in prison?)… and I am pretty sure most of them would fall more on the bully side than on the non-bully side so this orange thing is forcing bullies to protest bullying, which being a form of bullying is a real full circle kind of weirdness.

    I’m just going to wear red with yellow and call it a draw.

  46. I would totally get on board with “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day.” We could wear shirts with the Are-you-ever-an-asshole-diagnostic-test printed on them. They can be tie-dye, because no one really looks great in tie-dye, and then we can all be miserable together. But not assholes. Unless someone makes fun of our shirts, then we will know for sure they are an asshole.

  47. The “Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Day” attire should be your next item in the shop! But, don’t list it in orange. I’m the kind of asshole that won’t wear orange because I don’t want to be mistaken for a pumpkin. It’s October people!

  49. Orange pants might cast a deadly glow on your shoes, but not on your face, so that could work.

    Wait, never mind. I don’t think I like the idea of people wearing orange pants. Anywhere. Ever.

  50. I was reading your comments but then got incredibly distracted by the one near the top that contains both “assholes” and “scratches.”

  52. Whenever, the commercials about abused and ignored pets come on I ignore my pets in order to save others.

    Suddenly my logic sounds suspiciously like yours. I feel concerned that our logic may be false.

  53. On this day, I did NOT bully my sister who has unknowingly chosen the name of a minor Star Wars character for her sweet little fetus. (It’s true– I looked it up on Wookipedia!) So, I think I just covered Anti-Bullying and that whole admitting you’re an asshole occasionally thing.

  54. Of course, if we create Don’t Be Such an Asshole Day, someone will want to come up with a color for it, and then they’ll totally be assholes about everybody wearing the color. It’s a neverending cycle. But I’m totally up for the stabbing.

    Wait, that didn’t come out right…

  56. Orange?

    WTF does orange have to do with this?

    Were all the other colors taken?

    Why not burgundy, or beige, or powder blue? (I’m turning blue to protest bullies!)

  57. I’m also confused about the correlation between anti-bully day colors and prison garb. I’m sure there’s a statement there…

  58. Can you be an asshole and not a bully? I think I am an asshole sometimes but I believe I only bully the cat because I don’t like the cat. I am confused.

  59. I work from home too. I’m wearing all black. And I may go downstairs and yank tufts of hair from my cat. She hates that, but when she pukes a hairball at 2 am, I feel like the victim.

  60. “Orange is the new black”….and black seems like more of an asshole-friendly color, and it’s more flattering. I say put on your (flattering) black jammies and eat an orange. Solved.

  61. Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m feeling stabby about bullies and forced color wearing. Plus, why did bullying get such a crappy color?

  62. I bet your cats are doing that passive-aggressive bullying thing, like cats do. Also I just said yesterday (in one of my daily conversations with myself):
    MAYBE YOU’RE JUST AN ASSHOLE.

  63. There seems to be a color for everything these days. I doubt wearing pink or orange or red is going to make much difference. People are going to do what they do, regardless of the color of your clothing.

  64. One of my cats is a total bully. Her name is Bitey. The other day she bit my other cat really badly on the leg — and the cat she bit has cancer. He was trying to use the scratching post she likes, so she bit him. And he has CANCER.

    But then the cat who has cancer bit my OTHER cat. And the whole thing was started by my husband hassling Bitey, who redirected her anger at the cat she bit (cancer cat), who in turn bit the third cat.

    Can I get a shipment of orange shirts for my house please? We need a program, or something. -_-

  65. I really support your anti-orange campaign. It’s not a good look for me either, and I’m a writer who works from home, too… maybe it’s time gainfully employed freelance writers who have weird conversations and let their pets bully them with their disdain should get their own color. We’re the unsung victims in this, Ms. Lawson. Un-fucking-sung.

  67. Sometimes I think that wearing a t-shirt would just be easier. Pointing out that someone, and by someone I mean a friend or family member, may have a problem with being an asshole with their fat shaming or slut shaming just leads to a stupid argument. I actually have an orange shirt I got it free somewhere. I have to agree about the bullying. Also on FB people like to play arm chair activist with post after post about their ’cause’ I want to tell them sometime go raise money or volunteer it would actually do something? Not clog up my needfeed. I don’t cuz I’m only evil on the inside.

  68. I sure the wish the NFL would adopt anti-bullying as their pet cause instead of breast cancer awareness. The thought of all those big jocks wearing pink to let us know that they’re actively thinking about diseased breasts always struck me as pretty creepy. Also, orange is much less likely to clash with their uniforms than the noxious pink they’ve chosen to represent big jocks fixating on breasts. I don’t know why the breast cancer don’t pay me to consult with them on these issues.

  70. The cool thing about being a famous blogger is if you make a t-shirt with your face on it, *other people would totally wear it too.*

  71. I work for an afterschool program geared towards middle school kids. I’m always trying to stop them from bullying each other because apparently they don’t realize they’re doing it. Not that they would have asked about an orange shirt anyway, but they got out early today so I didn’t get the chance to see them and talk about it.

    Guess I’ll have to start fresh tomorrow with a different color.

    If it weren’t for the language factor in the title that I don’t think the school district would approve of, I’d just raise awareness for your proposed holiday. Oh, and the stabbing thing. For some reason I think my boss might frown upon encouraging the kids to celebrate a day with a stabbing clause in it. Some people can be so narrow-minded.

  72. Everything has a color. I look ill in orange. I don’t wanna wear it. Oh and bullies SUCK. Geesh Why do we have to wear a shirt. What ever happened to wristbands

  73. I’m thinking puce for the color on “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day” because it just sounds like the color to match the day

  74. I think, “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day” business cards would be great for putting on people’s windshields that park like assholes, or if someone is talking to you and they’re being an asshole, or you can tell they are an asshole, you could say, ‘Hold on one second” pull the card out of your purse, and hand it to them, and say, “It’s THAT day, good luck!”

  75. Ive never even owned an Orange article of clothing… OH! I got it! Do you think they chose orange because of all the pumpkin shirts for sale right now?? THAT IS GENIUS at a retail level!!

  76. I have 2 questions:

    1) Does it count if I write the word orange on a shirt?
    2) instead stabbing maybe we could carve “bully” into their face with a pencil instead?

    This still makes me want to marry you…even though you already are and also are not a homosexual male. Also also i am a sub-class of human (being a filthy homosexual sinner) and therefore cannot get married in my stupid state. (Much like cats and ethically taxidermied Pegasus…Pegasi…Pegasuss…Iddon’t know what the plural of Pegasus is.)

  77. “Assholes who didn’t take the test because they’re assholes and are proud of it should be stabbed in the leg on “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day” because that way they’ll still be assholes but we’ll be able to identify them by their limps.”

    May not be the best line ever, but damn close!

  78. I’ve never figured out how wearing a color helps a cause unless you just want to stand out.

    On the bullying thing – I really wish there was some sort of “help” button kids could push. It seems like they don’t want to ask for help and draw attention to themselves. A long time friend of mine had her daughter try to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. She was almost successful and will be in rehab for the next 1/2 year at least. They still don’t know how bad the brain damage is. We didn’t know why she did what she did until a day or 2 ago when some of her friends started to come forward to tell the family that some of her classmates were bullying her. My heart still aches for the family.

  79. ERMAGERD…I so HEART you!! This was the best thing I have read in ages. You are frickin’ amaze balls dripping with awesome sauce!!! I think you should totally create the “Are-you-ever-an-asshole? No? Well-then, you’re-an-asshole” diagnostic test !!! Being an empathetic person, I am fully aware that I can be an asshole on occasion, but I admit it and always try to make up for my asshole-ish behavior toward others. I think you may have stumbled on a remarkable way to cure bullying! Way to go, Jenny! Way to go!

  81. wearing a color or lack of wearing a color on a particular day doesn’t mean you don’t or do support anything. i think that’s the craziest reason to wear a color. if i don’t cryptically post what color my bra is or where my purse is or however long i’m going to end up in miami for breast cancer awareness doesn’t meant that i’m not aware, affected or care. I support you… this isn’t hate mail… this is i support what ever choice you make mail!

  82. In the spirit of anti-bullying, check out http://www.friendwatch.org – a friend of mine started it. Its software that schools can use to allow anonymous reporting of bullying. Check your school to see if they’ve signed on – it could save a kid’s life.

  83. I feel like Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day shirts would need to be sort of asshole coloured, so. . . brownish pink? Maybe? I mean, I don’t know what colour mine is, but that seems like what I’ve seen in terrible hentai. Give me a minute with a mirror and a colour swatch chart.
    Or not.

  84. Is Narcism a system of being a Narc? Cause ummm there’s no color for that cause they’re supposed to blend in… unless they’re Johnny Depp, then they’re supposed to pretend to blend in but they never do because HELLO? You’re Johnny Depp.

  85. Just a thought of mine. If the NFL took all the money the spent on dressing up the football players in pink and actually donated it to a research fund, wouldn’t that help more? I don’t care what color someone is wearing. I can’t even tell you what color I wore yesterday except that it went with black.

  86. I tried to bully myself into wearing an orange shirt but it didn’t work out because it would require going out into the world and buying an orange shirt. I also want to say that you are spot on with your Asshole Awareness Test. Truly the people who cannot admit to being an asshole sometimes are assholes all the times. I feel so enlightened by seeing that in writing (on the internet, so you know it is true).

  87. ORANGE! I did not get the memo and was not prepared. I was, however, prepared for “giant pile of snacks on my desk” day. Next year…

  88. We need an acronym because Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day is way too long. For obvious reasons. I suggest M.D.B.S.A.A.D. Possibly for less obvious reasons.

  90. Why is it Orange? In October? Sounds like Halloween propaganda to me. I thought it was the day of pink or whatever? Maybe that’s just Canada. Either way colours don’t really bring too much awareness by themselves.

  91. Maybe-don’t-be-such-an-asshole Day totally has my vote. Brown tshirts with sort of a puckery circle graphic, I’m thinking. Somebody make some and tell me where to buy…I could hand out a shitload of ’em (pun totally intended).

  92. I think the color for narcissism is white, because narcissus flowers are white. Although sometimes their yellow, so maybe wear stripes to cover your bases? That being said, I don’t know what the color is for narcism. And I should or shouldn’t wear lavender if I don’t like babies? I’m confused.

    And I join the ranks of those rooting for an MSBSAA day. Even if it means one more colored shirt to keep track of.

  93. Can we just acknowledge that half the people who do “wear a color for awareness” days just do it because of peer pressure, and have no real desire to help? LIke somehow wearing a color magically fixes things. Wearing a color on a special day is just one step up from apathy. I’d rather wear a “I just volunteered at a domestic violence shelter because I’m against bullies” shirt That actually means something.

  94. I’m not wearing orange either. They have got to get together on these things and give us a week’s notice so I can find or buy something orange and make sure it is ready for today.

    Everyday is “Unprepared Day” for me. That’s what I’m celebrating. Also known as, “Oh shit, I was supposed to do what?” Day.

    Also, this thing where if we don’t wear the color, ribbon, or share the meme means we are PRO something has got to stop.

  95. Just tell her “Orange is the New Black” and wear black because you are behind the times.

    If you haven’t seen OitNB you absolutely NEED to. It has Kate Mulgrew in it. Capt Janeway in jail. Awesome sauce.

    Oh, and..I am against bullying but wearing pink.

  97. Can we make “Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole day” a national holiday? Maybe instead of stabbing assholes we can just mark their face with permanent marker. Visible, yet not scarring.

  99. @Ragemichelle – Screw wearing pink on Oct 1st!! I’m still going through breast cancer treatment and I FUCKING hate pink! There are all kinds of ways to show your support and wearing a piece of clothing in a color you don’t own/like SHOULD NOT be mandatory to support something. I’d much rather see people wearing shirts that say “I was fucking nice to someone today” or “I put my money where my Facebook status is and donated to Susan G Komen”. I don’t want to be an asshole on Don’t-be-an-Asshole day, but seriously seeing pink ribbon bottle openers just piss me off. Thanks for the recognition (I think) but um … no thanks.
    P.S. I was diagnosed at 31. HUGE FUCKING Surprise. Mamograms are SO much better than surgery and chemo. Hope your’s comes back “normal” Jenny

  100. Who chose orange, anyway? Lame.
    I’m big on “Fuck Awareness. Solve the problem/find a cure.”

    Because the kid who got his ass kicked doesn’t give two shits that you wore orange today. He doesn’t want another ass kicking. At least that’s my guess.

    So instead of wearing orange, I will interject when someone is being bullied. Paying it forward, folks.

  101. Does it count if we wear oranges? Like the fruit? We could stick them in our bras (although that would probably make me a size HH). Nothing says “I hate bullies” like humongous fake orange boobs.

  102. All of these colors for days are as useless as praying. If you want to make a difference, do something real. 🙂

    I work from home with cats, and 2 annoying dogs, too. I can totally relate.

  103. First, I’m totally with you on the Orange. Almost no one looks good in orange. Second, thinking that wearing a color is better than writing against bullying is totally nuts. Third, Brown has to be the only possible color for the Asshole Day. Although if you’re not sure you’re an asshole yet, why would you wear brown. Maybe all of us NON-Assholes should wear brown on that day so we can tell all the assholes that they totaly are (assholes) and we have that right becuase we’re wearing brown. But only if we do it in a non-bullying way.

  104. The reason why bullying is becoming more of a problem is because, more and more, people — particularly at school — are teaching their kids to be stupid sheep.

    So, what is their brilliant solution?
    }}} Don’t forget to wear orange today for anti-bullying unity day.

    “BE A STUPID SHEEP DAY.”

    Yeah, THAT’s gonna work. Idiots.

    How about “Stand up to a bully day”? Teach kids to stand up to bullies. It’s amazing how effective that is.

    Yes, you might get your ass beat — ONCE — but the fact is, bullies are cowards. They don’t WANT people standing up to them, they MIGHT lose — size does not matter — even if they’re bigger, they still want people who cower before them, who feed their ego at no cost or risk. If you’re a “risk”, then they’ll avoid giving you shit if you’re not giving them shit.

    So as long as you don’t go out of your way to start trouble with a bully, he’s going to STOP looking to cause problems with YOU. So you won’t have any problems with them after that.

    Maybe what they need is instead a National “Watch My Bodyguard” day:
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081207/combined

    Or maybe we need a “Punch Biff” day:
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088763/combined

    Where did THOSE lessons go? Hmmm?
    Marty’s father stands up for himself and slugs Biff one freaking time, and it changes his entire life.
    Go figure.

    I can say this — I was a nerd in school, but you know something, I was IN MY 20s BEFORE I EVER EVEN –heard– of a “Wedgie”. Anyone tried giving ME a wedgie was in for a major fight, and they knew it… so they never even THOUGHT about it.

    Whatever Bullies were around knew I didn’t take shit from anyone. And they left me alone.

    Yeah, i got into trouble about once a year for fighting — And that’s now On My Permanent Record .

    Two words: “Oh, Noes!!”

    So stop teaching your kids to rat out the bullies. That’s doing no good. That leaves your child — and others — helpless BLEATING victims…

    Teach your kids to STAND UP to the bullies. Hell, send them to a good Karate class (I highly recommend an Okinawan style if you can find a teacher of one, or one of the Jitsu family… both become useful in a fight fairly quickly) so they can do so effectively.

  106. The mob mentality our society is creating, in the name of good causes, is really getting out of control. Wear what you want, support what you want, how and when you want to support it, let other people know about opportunities to join, then mind your own business. There, (brushes hands together), problem solved.

  108. }}} The mob mentality our society is creating, in the name of good causes, is really getting out of control. Wear what you want, support what you want, how and when you want to support it, let other people know about opportunities to join, then mind your own business. There, (brushes hands together), problem solved.

    Not mob. Sheep don’t mob. They herd.

    “Join the herd”.

    Or don’t. {————— my choice of the two.

  110. I am so NOT going to wear orange because I’d look like a pumpkin and it’s waaayy tooo close to Halloween for that shit.

  111. My company website (not the website above) has bullied me all day. I ran into the bathroom in tears twice because of it. I’m only wearing orange to work from now on.

  112. @IGotBupkis, “‘Faeces Evenio’, Mr. Holder?” I have it on VHS. Big Mulgrew fan since the 70’s.

    Oops..Carry on people…nothing to see here.

  113. ROFLMAO!

    I sooo want to be your friend! these conversations are hysterical! guess that sounds a little stalkerish… will have to settle for continuing to read your blog and laughing hysterically on my own!

  114. Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode in which Kramer does a walk/run for charity but everyone involved only cared that he would not wear the awareness pin and were mean to him. P.S. If I do own the color in question, chances are it is dirty and I won’t let anyone bully me into doing laundry until I’m ready to do my laundry.

  115. I had no idea it was anti-bullying day and that I was supposed to be wearing orange until I logged onto the computer today. So all of you folks out the in Internet-land who can’t see me? I’m wearing orange. Apparently nobody around me cares.

  116. Who is the genius who made orange the anti-bullying color? No one looks good in orange. Well no one except certain websites and everyone knows my website is really a person.

  118. I’m one of those assholes who doesn’t like to wear colors for things. I generally don’t even like the colors. Who decided ORANGE was the anti-bully color and LIME GREEN is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma? I would rather support a cause without wearing a uniform for it. I would, however, consider wearing a how about you not he such an asshole shirt. In a color of my choosing. I would wear it on non-specified days. Because not being an asshole awareness, not bullying and fighting cancer are a few examples of what should happen daily.

  119. I think it’s quite fair to be light about bullying on anti-bullying day. I’d be light about cancer on anti-cancer day…if there was one. If there’s not there should be.

  121. I like to scroll through the comments just to find the bold face font of you replying… Just a confession- nothing to do with you being a stabby bully

  124. “I don’t think they make a color for narcissism.” Loved that line.

    If you stab a bully, are you being an anti-bully? Putting a stop to it so to speak? And I’m with you. I hate orange. (Blond pale girls cannot wear orange. I think that’s a law in some states.)

  125. Gitmo detainees giving mad props to anti-bullying day.

    Bullying is a natural part of the world and humans in general. Hell you see animals doing it too. Trying to stamp stuff like that out is probably unrealistic at best. I like Dont Be An Asshole day better. Its easy to see when someone’s being an asshole but bullying can be subtle.

    Also people who were bullied as kids grow up to be some of the most awesomest comedians ever so there is a bright side right? Did I just win being an asshole day?

  126. My favorite line………… I don’t think they make a color for “narcissism.”

  127. okay, following your instructions on #40: it’s ‘lavender’. 🙂

    (What’s weird is that spellcheck insists I spelled it right. I’m pretty sure spellcheck is doing this on purpose and laughing at me behind my back. Spellcheck is an asshole. ~ Jenny)

  128. I’m with you on the wear-a-color-for-shit thing. How about we all just wear pants every day and not be jerks? The world would instantly be a better place.

  129. No hate mail from me! I am very anti-bullying (I was bullied; my daughter was bullied) but people “bullying for the right reason” is STILL BULLYING! (And, in general, I an totally annoyed by people who say one thing (“People should send their kids to public schools in the inner city to help them inprove and expose their children to other cultures’ and THEN they put THEIR kids in sone snotty private school so they will qualify for Harvard! People should be FORCED (by cattle prod, if necessary) to live up to what they tell others to do!

    Thanks you for letting ME rant.

  130. Stabbing someone isn’t bullying unless you sneak up on them, because bullying is for cowards. As long as you walk up to them, look them right in the eye, yell “hiya!” And then stab them in the leg, it does not violate anti-bullying day.

  131. Several items off-topic here….

    Why does the number of my comment change even after I ‘refresh’ my screen?

    There is nothing wrong with being a Spelling or Grammar Nazi. It gives the word ‘Nazi’ a nicer connotation than it’s original one. I am admittedly a Spelling and Grammar Nazi on Facebook. My friends and family love to get on my ass about shit I mess up. Sometimes I mess up on purpose just to give them something to bitch about.

    Yes, telling people to wear a certain color for a certain meaning is bullying. I wear what makes me look better…I never look ‘good’ just better or worse.

    (It changes because some comments get stuck in moderation if it’s the first time they’ve commented or if they include a link that the filter thinks might be spam. I go in and approved them all and then it messes up the numbers because people who commented before you were hidden before but now show up. It’s all very confusing. ~ Jenny)

  133. I JUST LOVE YOU!!!!!!! I snicker about your blog even AFTER I’ve read your blog….. Lol thank you girl !!! You rock!!! KNOCK KNOCK!!! Lol

  134. Jenny – Enjoy your first mammogram and make sure you keep your nipple markers. They’re So. Much. Fun. (Not really, but hey, how often does a person get to say nipple marker?)

  135. The bullying thing has gotten really out of hand. Everytime anyone says anything mean to one of my kids they thinks its bullying. Lets do bullying awareness that explains to the kids that sometimes kids are just dicks and some kids are bullies but not every dick is a bully.

  137. Well, hell. I was so proud of myself because I finally bought an article of clothing in something other than black that I actually LOVED. It was orange. You ruined it for me. Now I can’t ever wear it without thinking of National Anti-Bullying Day. I’m not for bullying, either, but now orange will always be associated with a movement and that’s just not fun. I’m not sure why, but it’s not. Goodbye orange sweater from Target that I thought I loved. Guess it’s back to black. Great. Now I’m gonna be thinking about Amy Winehouse the rest of the day….

  139. Okay, so I first heard about “Anti-Bullying Day” on Monday when I went to http://holidaydoodles.com to see what http://themissy.com had drawn for us, and in her EXPLANATION of Blue Shirt Day was this: http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/campaigns/blue-shirt-day-world-day-bullying-prevention-2013/, which CLEARLY names BLUE as the color we should (and all CAN) wear as a symbol of not being bullies. Honestly, if I were made to wear ORANGE, I would TOTALLY feel bullied. As it was, no one saw me on Monday other than my cats, so I think I was wearing a grey tank top, which I had awakened in that morning.

    I’m with you, Jenny! Let’s all stab the bullies! Or was that the assholes? Let’s stab bullies in their assholes, just to cover all the bases!

  140. Hay, breasts don’t make you a woman.
    Being stabby makes you a woman.
    Maybe I should stop being such an Asshole. Just a little.
    PAX

  141. But what about bullying a bully on anti-bullying day? I really think this is like the chicken and egg argument. Really, I don’t know what’s right anymore.

  142. “Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole” Awareness Day–now THERE’S a holiday I can get behind! And I know just the perfect theme song for it: Jim’s Big Ego’s Asshole…as opposed to Jim’s Big Ego’s Asshole…um, you know what I mean, right? Good…

    And just in case I totally borked that URL, here is it again, w/out my attempts at HTML: http://soundcloud.com/jimsbigego/asshole (Oh, and go to http://www.bigego.com and buy all of the guy’s CDs; they’ve got kids who need to eat, OK?) Oh, and t-shirts w/your face on them…DEFINITELY t-shirts. 🙂

  143. On National Anti-Bullying Day, you should be able to shoot bullies with a tranquilizer dart, and then rivet a tag onto their ear or the back of their neck, like they do with bears. That way, everyone knows where the bullies are.

  144. Right, then…the comments are designed so as to magically configure URLs for ease of clicking. Now let’s see if I can remember that the next time I post, eh?

  145. Leigh Anne Touhy: I will not wear that gaudy orange, I will not. It is not my color wheel and I’m not gonna wear it.
    She stood up for her color wheel AND got a movie made about her.

  146. So –
    wear Pink for breast cancer awareness
    wear Purple for Alzheimer awareness
    wear Red for Women’s Heart Health awareness

    So – I just went an purchased a TIE DIE shirt – thinking – I covered ALL the bases and low and behold –
    Wear Rainbow if your Proud to be GAY! – yes, I was in BOSTON when I was wearing the shirt – YES – there was a HUGE rally – and NO I’m not gay. But I was SUPPORTIVE in a reluctant sort of way…. I think I was propositioned a few times that day too….

  147. Pure fabulous. I will start reading you more frequently! And though my alma mater color is orange, in fact we are the “Orangemen”, I too look ghastly in orange and refuse to wear it.

  148. I don’t know if I’m allowed to post here, because I don’t have a blog, but OMG you are one of the funniest people I have ever encountered. I don’t know how I first stumbled across your blog, but my week is not complete without reading yours. Hugs

  149. Cats are some of the biggest bullies I know. Is there an asshole test for your cat? My cat is a total asshole, but she doesn’t realize it…everyone else knows it though, so that counts, right? Because she’s too self-involved to care that she’s an asshole but we’re all very much aware of her assholeness that we just exist around her random bouts of assholey-ness.
    Does it count for wearing orange if its mixed in on the most kick-ass Star Wars tee? Isn’t Star Wars really just one giant anti-bully message to begin with? I think I’m very done with my comment. Star Wars= Anti-Bullying, end of story.

  150. so, all the inmates in the county lockup are forced to wear orange. does that mean they’re being bullied into wearing an anti-bullying symbol? does it mean they’re truly anti-bullying? even the ones who are locked up because they shot someone? because i should think that’s, like, one of the biggest indicators that you’re a bully. at least when you shot that dude, you were. but now that you’re wearing orange does that mean you’re contrite? but are you *really* contrite if you’re being forced to wear orange because it’s all they have? though they’re consistent – you even wear orange flip flops and socks. mostly. sometimes they lose shit. or your feet are too big and you have to wear your own shoes.

    wait. is the county the bully for making them wear orange? is this some form of psychological, subconscious anti-bullying rehabilitation program?

    anywho. i’m like you. orange makes me look sick. unless i have a tan. but i don’t. either way, i didn’t know it was wear orange day, so i didn’t. i’m still anti-bullying. ’cause fuck that shit.

  151. I totally like “Don’t be an asshole day” much better. Though sometime I wish my kid were a bit of an asshole. I think the other assholes at school wouldn’t pick on him so much if he would be an asshole back.

  152. I usually consider orange as supporting the Orange Order or Protestants of Ireland who are, in their own ways, bullies (as are the Irish Catholics but let’s not involve the IRA and North Ireland here) so I am joining your cause for Stop Being an Asshole Day.

    Also I am lazy, far too lazy to coordinate colors.

  153. Can we please pick a date for Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Day? I’d like to start planning some events now…

  154. This year my son’s school is running a year-long program where they all wear a certain color on the last Friday of the month to support a certain value. Problems with this (just a few, to start): (i) they didn’t send out the chart until the first Tuesday after the first month of school, so one color & one value are already blown to hell (sorry, “compassion”, maybe next time); (ii) I don’t think my son owns clothing in about half the colors listed; (iii) how in the world is anyone supposed to realized that purple = citizenship? Who came up with these color/value combinations? and (iv) we already lost the dang chart, so my son’s going to be wearing the colors for the value of “rebellion” all year. Or maybe he’ll start the “parental incompetence” fashion trend.

  156. You should create some sort of color wheel button for those of us who get dressed every morning in ignorance. That way we could wear it and always have our Pro-Y-Day or Anti-X-Day bases covered.

  157. Hopefully they will create an “asshole day” and everyone can wear brown and drive Porsches and Escalades. It will make them easy to spot and prevent a lot of accidental stabbings.

  158. I look positively hideous in orange so I don’t care if it is”Save the Orphan Kittens and Unicorn Foals” Day; if the color is orange, I’m not participating.
    Besides, I’m better led than driven and I detest people trying to guilt me into wearing a color or posting a stupid meme.

  159. Just to buck the trend; maybe we should have a be an asshole day?

    Some of us are a bit more meek than others, are often the targets of bullies, and find it difficult to stand up for ourselves, much less fight back when being used; so a day where we can be free to let loose, speak our mind, and put people in their place, just once a year (so it doesn’t go to our heads or become a habit), could maybe be a good thing.

    Sadly many of us are surrounded by assholes, and we don’t want to be categorised with them, so we keep our heads down and keep to ourselves, but the opportunity just once in a while to come out of our shells, tell those other assholes to fuck off, and then go back to being ourselves, surely that could only do the world some good, and put the full time assholes back in their place?!

  160. There’s this great book I read when I was being bullied at work by my evil boss and HR was doing jack all to fix it. It’s called The No Asshole Rule. Great book! Boss was still an asshole but I had facts and figures to back up my claim that his assholeness was affecting the work place. HR still did jack all. Now I feel stabby again. I’m going to have to read your chicken post to feel better.

  161. There are too many Awareness days!!

    There, I said it. I guess there are just too many for me. That being said, of course I hate bullies. There was a girl who bullied me all through elementary school. One day, I took a swing at her. She never bothered me again.

  162. The Illuminati are baby-hating bullies who stab people?

    I KNEW there had to something wrong with Jay-Z and Beyonce, because no one is actually that perfect.

  163. The Illuminati are baby-hating bullies who stab people?

    I KNEW there had to something wrong with Jay-Z and Beyonce, because no one is actually that perfect.

  165. I wear black. Its the color that is ALL COLORS COMBINED. therefore, I am wearing orange today. I wore pink on the 1st. I just wore every other color also.

    Or, hells no am I wearing orange or pink. (Or yellow. Unless I want to look ill)

  167. Bullies freaking suck. They can call go jump in a lake. Mindless douche canoes anyway. Wait, that would mean they’d likely float around on said like. Like floating turds in a turd lake. Still, I hate bullies.

  168. Your PS is my favorite part of this entire post!

    (reminds me of how only the truly insane never question their own sanity)

  170. E Pluribus Asshole-um: Out of many, one giant asshole.
    …
    Yeah, I’d buy that shirt.

  171. Thank you?
    I think?
    Not sure.
    Pretty sure I’m not an asshole.

    Please don’t stab me.

  172. Orange is the worst! And this is hilarious, no one should yell at you. Also, speaking as a former nanny who still is obsessed with her kiddos and a mom wannabe, not all babies are cute to everyone. And that’s OK.

  173. oh yes… and i can’t wear yellow for the same reason you can’t wear orange. so i understand and give you a pass. plus, if you’d worn orange today, i wouldn’t have noticed… instead you posted about bullying which raised awareness far more than a wardrobe change would. i hardly notice what color shirt i am wearing let alone what other people are wearing… let alone ponder the significance of the number of people who woke up and chose to wear the same color (which if i bother to notice at all would probably just seem like a strange coincidence unless they are part of a flash mob and then i would know it was pre-coordinated somehow which would also make it not a flash mob – technically).

  175. Crap. I wore purple today. What did I unknowingly support??? If anyone asks, I’m wearing orange underwear. And no, I won’t show you, perv.

    Tip I got regarding mammograms, take 2 ibuprofen before you go. I did, and I can’t say the process was painful. Seriously, I experienced no pain during or after and not “a I’m so doped up I don’t feel anything” lack of pain. Getting the girls positioned correctly was the worse part of it. And the nipple tape.

  176. I think we need a bracelet for asshole awareness day that way it can be a daily reminder!!

  178. Priceless. ALL OF IT.
    But I need to add that I think the color of narcissism should be blue. Yes, definitely blue. (fb & twitter are already on board with it)

  179. omg, after reading THAT post —

    I just put on 3 orange shirts, 2 orange sweaters, 4 orange jackets, and a big orange hat just to make up for all the anit-pro-anti-pro-anti-bullying that went on in that post!!!

    I gotcha covered, Jenny — I’m wearing enough orange for the both of us — AND your cats!!

  180. Orange? They make clothes in orange? And people wear them? That’s just asking to be bullied. Damn.

  181. Ugh.It is really becoming apparent that “advocate” is another word for bully. Whether it be anti-bully advocates, or breastfeeding advocates or whatever, this seems to apply. I’m all for not bullying people and breastfeeding but don’t be an asshole.

  182. I have an orange cat, and he’s a terrible bully – so I don’t think orange is the right color for the anti-bullying movement. At my kids’ school they wear pink, which is also confusing since you think that the whole school is pro-anti-breast cancer, which would be great, but seems odd to have 5-year-olds being so pro boob. I have no idea where I was going with that…

  183. @Ben, up at #157: So, so true! I can be a passive-aggressive asshole but I’m NEVER an overt asshole.

    My personal yardstick is based on something a wise friend of mine once said; “When you start seeing an increase in the number of assholes you encounter; YOU might be being an asshole”. Maybe we can add that to the test on the back of the T-shirt!

  184. For years I’ve had a plan to take over the world, and when I do, I’m totally getting rid of the assholes! That’s my entire platform. Just removing assholes from the population. At least 98% of the world’s problems would be solved by simply removing the assholes. And we could probably solve the other 2% in no time if we didn’t have to devote so much time and effort to solving problems created by assholes.

  185. Aquamarine is the color of not wanting anyone to run over the bunnies that live in my yard. I wear that sh*t everyday.

  187. Stop being such an a**hole day…I would TOTALLY get on board with that!!! Nothing worse than an a**hole who doesn’t know they are one, which defines a**hole. You’re a genius. I think everyone should wear brown on that day 😉

  188. You are beautiful and amazing. And now that I’ve been listening to your audio book (after buying two copies of the paper book, giving one away on accident, and recommending you to everyone I know), I hear your voice when reading your blog posts. Which makes it even better. Don’t change, darling.

    But.. is bullying bullies on anti-bully day ok? In my diagonal mind it is.

  189. Orange tends to make me look like I’m either getting ready to go hunting or like a big ass pumpkin. I’m not sure which is worse.

  190. The only shirt I have that’s orange has Hasa Diga Eebowai written on it. Plus I believe the best way to prevent bullying is to teach all kids how to throw a good right cross followed by an uppercut. So I am not the best anti-bullying proponent.

  191. Um, if orange is the color to stop bullying why are prison jumpsuits orange? That shit is just wrong.

  192. @Kats: For National Coming Out Day; are you sure you don’t mean Aubergine? (It has a slimming effect)(affect? – somebody correct me!)

  194. I understand you perfectly. I just scanned my shirt to see if there was any orange in it, and golden yellow is a kind of orange, right? I often label myself as “annoying,” which I think is sort of a mild asshole, and I would be willing to wear some kind of t-shirt or annoying color on a national Annoying Day.

  195. And then there are the assholes who think bullying is a GOOD thing. I know! My roommate happens to be one of these assholes. She thinks bullying is some sort of Darwin survival of the fittest thing. Although I don’t think she actually knows how survival of the fittest works… she would probably lose a fist fight with a teddy bear.

  196. I don’t want to scare you about the whole mammogram thing, because you should totally go get one…but my first was HORRIBLE. They take one shot of your boobie squished between two horizontal plates of glass. Then they RELEASE the boob, turn the two glass boobie smashers 45 degrees, clamp again and take another picture. My lab tech forgot the second step.
    I still go and get my yearly…but I am very careful to give a pre-job brief with the radiologist running the machine before I let them get anywhere near my girls.

  197. No matter what color ends up representing “Maybe Don’t Be An Asshole” Day, the graphic needs to a starfish laying underbelly up. 🙂

    Or the knot at the end of a balloon.

  198. How ’bout we wear what the fuck we want for anti-bulling day. Then when people bitch at us for not wearing the designated color, we kick’em in the taco. Because anyone bitching at your for not wearing the “right” color is obviously a bully.

  199. The asshole test is brilliant. Let’s give it to everyone in Washington. If you fail the asshole test we obviously don’t need you in Washington. If you pass the asshole test, then can maybe stop being such an asshole and work stuff the fuck out.

  202. Am I the only one who thinks it odd that the color you are supposed to wear for anti-bullying day is the color most prison inmates sport? Doesn’t that detract a little?

  203. and this just reminds me of all the times on Saint Patrick’s Day I had to hear how I was doing it wrong, I had to wear green or get pinched…assholes. My EYES are green asshole, also I’m not Irish asshole, I’m an Italian/Jew with attitude and yeah sometimes I can be an asshole too but you know what? I look like shit in green and I’m not wearing it. However, I can support anti bully day because I happen to have an orange hippie shirt.

  204. Well this is sad. I didn’t go to school today because of bullying. The girl who’s putting me down doesn’t even know she’s doing it, I think. I’m normally a very open person about telling people to leave me the fuck alone (or politely telling them that I feel bad when they say that). I just got depressed last night and didn’t want to deal with life. I literally fell asleep crying… :/

    I PLAYED HOOKY ON ANTI-BULLYING DAY, PEOPLE.

    Well, I am actually sick, so there’s that, too.
    xoxo,
    Jo

    (We’ve all been there. It gets so much better once school gets out. Promise. Don’t let the bastards get you down. ~ Jenny)

  205. Is there a way to send you a private message? I’m not a wack-a-do or anything, but I wrote what I thought might be a funny excerpt about a girls’ weekend in which my (very open and verbal ) aunt discussed some crazy remedies for some womanly issues. I was aghast…then, I tried it. I thought maybe, just maybe, you would read it and tell me if it’s a little funny or just , well…yuck. I loved your book and I love your blogs even though I never post. See, my entire family suffers from some form of anxiety and we’ve all gotten Master’s and Doctorate degrees trying to figure ourselves out, only to realize we are two-three scoops of crazy depending on the day. Currently, I’m convinced my throat is closing up several times a day because I’m allergic..to the entire world. Anyway, I can’t type a public message concerning the womanly issue (it’s a little much)…but, I thought you could review it. Crazy request? Maybe. But, then I just admitted our family is right up there on the crazy chart (we can hit Defcon 5 faster the the best of them).

    (You can TOTALLY type public message concerning crazy womanly issues here. It wouldn’t even be the first time. Or you could email me, but honestly, I suck at answering. Just ask my family. ~ Jenny)

  206. I think people need to leave other people the fuck alone. That pretty much covers it, n’est-ce pas?

    Kisses!

  207. I just associate orange with convicts… and I’m not sure if that’s really discouraging to those who are trying to build awareness, or if it’s more a “look bully, this is what you could look like when you go to prison, and isn’t it horrible.” Either way don’t be such an asshole day sounds much more promising.

  208. I hope that “Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day” will catch on the way “Talk Live a Pirate Day” has and a decade from now Krispy Kremes all across the land will give free doughnuts away to people who admit to sometimes being an asshole!

  209. i wore grey and blue. but i think bullying is a bad thing. when people try to bully me, i ignore them. so i would have just ignored the friend who tried to bully you into wearing orange. except i like orange and i look fabulous in it.

  210. Correction: I, of course, meant to write Talk *Like* a Pirate Day, and not *Live* a Pirate Day. Oh my gosh, and Pirates are totally bullies.

  213. “That’s what they said about the Illuminati”…fucking hilarious!!!! My side now hurts from laughing

  214. Orange seems like such a wrong color for an anti-bullying day. Nothing like Orange to say “Hey! Here I am! Big target that stands out from everyone else!”

    In all seriousness, though, bullying is a topic close to my heart. I was bullied all through high school to the point that I was paranoid that anyone laughing was laughing at me. Though I’m a completely non-violent person, I came close to a burst of violence once or twice. I feel sympathy when I hear stories of bullied kids committing suicide or going on a rampage. One push in the wrong direction and I would have been one of those stories.

    Sadly, my son hasn’t been spared from bullying. He was punched once on the way to an anti-bullying assembly in school. When the principal tried sweeping it under the rug (blaming my son first and then saying he’s “not the type to be bullied”), we pulled our son from their school. He’s thriving in his new school now (which doesn’t tolerate that kind of behavior).

  216. So, I’m all horribly confused by this. I never knew today was “Anti-Bullying Day”, yet somehow was under the belief that this was EVERY day? Also, in addition to your very valid point about non-bullies wearing orange and making themselves targets, what happens when the bullies get wind of the dress code and start wearing orange? Then they won’t be identifiable. I wrote a blog once about “The Bully Inside”. That bully works in tandem with the external ones, BTW. Orange does nothing about that. I also have a cat who is a bully, but a love bully. She literally forces herself on my male cat to try to snuggle up to him and rub him up.
    Bullying is awful. Wear orange (if people actually see you outside of your home). Do whatever you can to create awareness so hopefully we can make it stop.

  219. It drives me nuts when people tell me to wear something or do something even if it is in the name of puppies or kittens or whatever its like Don’t BOSS ME AROUND!! HAhhahaha

  220. Some studies have determined that anti-bullying campaigns actually increase bullying by giving kids ideas on how to be a bully. But a Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole Awareness Day would cover assholes and bullies because bullies are assholes and it wouldn’t need a campaign because everyone knows how to spot an asshole. But it shouldn’t have a color, just a slogan and everyone gets to pick their own color. And anyone who tries to create a ribbon gets stabbed. I am so done with the ribbons and with pink for that matter. A whole month of pink is dreadful and having to not wear it to avoid having people ask if I or a family member have had it or if I’m going on the “walk” is a pain in the ass if I forget it’s Komen rules the world month. I hate Pink month more than I hate mammograms (but I get them anyway and I’m glad you do too).

  221. Thank you for perking up my otherwise crappy Wed., (well actually Mon and Tues too). I always thought orange was the gang color for contractors. Maybe I have been bullying my husband? He he.
    -Gina-

  223. Whoa, wait. You hate babies???? But they smell so nice!

    (I don’t hate them. I just don’t want to touch them. People get those things confused. But, yeah. They do smell lovely. Like new cars, but made of human flesh. ~ Jenny)

  224. I complete agree…it’s so much a trap, that I hear that squid guy from Star Wars saying, “It’s a trap!”. Don’t fall for it!!!

    And I would never wear orange… Because I’m Irish, and that “So-and-So of Orange” guy oppressed my people, and because I’m whiter than death and I’d reflect it…and also it would clash with my hair.

  225. Kurt Vonnegut used an asterisk as a symbol for an asshole. So I think for a logo, we could put one of those red circle-with-a-slash things over an asterisk, and follow it with a question mark for try not to be an asshole day. Also, on a related note, Emily Yates will sell you an ORANGE sticker that says “Try Not To Be a Dick” from her website as a part of her Global Try Not To Be a Dick movement…

  226. I wore orange all day… totally by accident. Well more sherbert actually. I looked like a giant creamsicle. I also set up a google alert not to wear lavender on Tuesdays. Bullies suck. I’m glad I didn’t know what day it is… I might have been tempted to come home from Old Navy with orange pants. I also work at home. The dogs would have disowned me for the pants… and they’re color blind. So that’s pretty much how ridiculous I would look.

  227. Good for you! Do not kowtow to peer pressure! The only thing I have around me today that is even vaguely orange is a picture of Speaker Boehner…and I am not really wearing that…
    dave

  228. I think I’ll wear clear so people will clearly see that I support no cause. Any cause that would have me as a supporter is suspect anyway.

  229. I wear orange all the time – I am one of the 8 people on the planet who look good in orange. Does that mean I am a bully?

    Or . . maybe I am delusional and I only THINK I look good in orange!?

  230. Ummm….isn’t orange the color/colour that prisoners are put into? Who chose orange for anti-bullying anyway? There is about .03 of the population on the planet who don’t look like either giant satsumas or supermodels….

  231. I don’t wear orange because frankly, I hate orange. I turn a shade of orange when I just hold an orange shirt up to me. It’s kind of freaky how that happens. People get this look on their face when it happens. So I will not wear orange.

  232. 1. Cats ARE proponents of bullying. If you need proof, please feel free to visit my home on any random night between midnight and 3:00am when 3 of my 4 cats have the 4th cornered, screaming, and literally shitting himself. It’s not pretty, but it IS proof.

    2. “Maybe-Stop-Being-Such-An-Asshole” Awareness Day. LOVE IT! You are a genius. Also, my cats should be required to participate. I am totally not kidding.

  233. I’m bothered we have to have an anti bullying day.. Isn’t that pretty much just common sense that I’d be against it? Now if y’all want me to wear a shirt for why the hell does the bbc make me wait forever for more Sherlock day I. Am in.

  234. Umm, orange is the official color of MS ( don’t ask me why, I only know this because I had a friend who was having some health issues and said “I hope it’s not MS, I look terrible in orange”. Totally is MS but he actually looks great in orange).
    So the organized, anti-bullying people have co-opted the official color of a bunch of really quite ill people. That seems a little iffy to me.

  235. Kids like wearing colors to show that they are for or against something, so wearing orange for anti-bullying day makes total sense for kids. I remember kids wearing purple for anti-bullying at my son’s middle school and it seemed like it made them feel stronger. Adults are a bit too scattered for it to be useful.
    The quiz would just confuse me. I am not sure I am ever an a*hole. The things I do that are most a*holey are when I say the wrong thing, but that is due to not having any sense. Being a jerk seems like it requires more mean-spiritedness. So I would say a lot of people are more inept or oblivious than genuinely a*holey.

  238. The inmates at the prison where I work all wear yellow. And it’s this ridiculously cheerful yellow too, which makes me want to laugh inappropriately. (Hardly a surprise for me.)

    I love my tribe so much! This is one of those days where reading the comments was almost as fun as reading your post. Viva la tribe!

    And mammograms don’t hurt but they are very, very uncomfortable. But they are quick too.

    And sometimes, when you’re a mom, you have to be a bit of a bully. Just saying…

  239. They don’t call it “catty” for no reason — those cats are going to laugh at you.

    Bullying sucks. Even I will wear orange for the cause. Regardless of clothing, you seem like one of the most anti-bullying people there are. That’s a compliment. And some babies are annoying, so, yeah.

  241. In Canada the colour to wear for anti-bullying is pink. But. That was specifically because a boy at a school was teased for wearing a pink shirt, and so the next day other boys came to school – wearing pink shirts! Which is the type of story that makes me like having a day such as “pink shirt” day.

    Also (1) wearing a coloured shirt is maybe a LITTLE bit better then elementary school kids wearing shirts that say “asshole”. As for me, that would mean my kids would have to walk around blindfolded all day though hey, then would be getting empathetic for the blind so isn’t all bad. Not that I don’t want my kids to be able to identify assholes, but my JKer would makethathernew favourite word and start calling everyone an asshole. Which may be accurate, yet still awkward, ya know?

    (2) But choosing orange is weird. As that is prison colours. Shouldn’t it then be that we force the assholes to wear orange not the rest of us? Confused!

  244. Rowbot’s Mom – I hope you see this! I truly hope you are recovering…and I couldn’t agree more. Being manipulated into wearing a certain color is obnoxious…and it changes NOTHING. It reminds me of those facebook posts that say…if you don’t share this then it means you hate Jesus and babies and puppies and think that Hitler was really cool.

    The best thing about NOT wearing pink on Oct.1 is that I didn’t have to be in on the group picture at work.

    I hate group pictures.

  245. There’s a narcissus flower which technically was named after the guy who started narcissism, and it’s yellow and/or white, so technically there is a colour for narcissism. Or you could just wear a narcissus flower? Problem solved 🙂

  246. There is an easy solution. Just tell everyone that you are wearing orange underwear. But don’t let them see it, because that would be weird.

  247. When I wear orange, I look as though I should either be flagging for a road crew or I should be carrying a Winchester rifle and looking for Bambi. Neither of which are really good looks for me.

    Ever since they switched to digital machines, mammograms have been better. They don’t seem to need to squish my boobs as flat as a magazine. Which both hurt and felt as though my boobs were in a vice and they were going to hold me in there until some serial killer came in with a big knife and cut my throat.

    Maybe I need to bring that rifle to the next mammogram. I don’t think the mammogram techs will allow it.

  248. I work from home too, and I have to admit I kind of forgot about the whole orange thing, even though I do in fact own several orange garments, including a rather nice handknit lace shawl. Bad me.

    Let me know when they declare “Punch a Bully in the Face Day.” I’d be all over that.

    ^K.

  249. I still think we should celebrate Wil Wheaton’s “Don’t be a dick day” every day, instead of just his birthday…..

  252. but Kristen Chenoweth told me to wear blue on anti-bullying day! now i’m all confused. I mean, I wore brown, because 1- i’m a ginger and I own a LOT of brown and 2 – I get dressed before I’ve had coffee, so you’re lucky I manage to get PANTS on let alone worry about coordinating the date to a color.

    though I will say, when my 12 year old nephew asked me what was the secret of life, I told him “don’t be a dick” b/c it’s really the best way to live your life. just don’t be a dick. it’s not even a hard rule.

  254. Instead of wearing orange how about we all just tell the bullies to fuck off. I’d be totally behind that. And why orange? Were all the other colors taken?

  256. ‘Nipple Stickers’? I’ve been getting mammograms since I was 35 due to family history, and have never been introduced to ‘Nipple Stickers’. Me thinks you are going to a technician who is closely related to Joey on Friends’ tailor….

  257. You know Political Correctness has run amoke when you are worried about being considered “pro” something because you’re not wearing the correct color for the “anti” day. Also – I’m so NOT wearing orange today. 1) This was the first I heard of it. 2) I look hideous in orange (not that I particularly care, but I don’t OWN anything orange and am not going to go out and fucking buy something). 3) I think the whole wear a color for a cause is kind of douchey. 4) I know the the defination of BULLY has evolved to include anytime someone says or does something that isn’t chock full of warm fuzzies and I think we are in danger of raising a generation of sissy-ass cry-babies.

  258. But I’d totally consider wearing a ribbon for “maybe you’re an asshole” day.

  259. I saw one for “go braless” for Breast Cancer. How exactly is that going to help to cure breast cancer? All it would do is either take someone’s eye or make you hide in the house for the day. Write a cheque, easier and not as in your face (or on my belly depending on where they land)

  260. Your friend sounds an awful lot like Brene Brown! Love her!!

    Also, your spellcheck has decided to be an asshole…totally not your fault.

  261. Simply fucking awesome. My rant is about “Raising Awareness.” For God’s sake– I’M AWARE! Now do something about it! What does being aware do? Absolutely nothing.

  262. The bullies probably don’t know why you are wearing orange. Wearing orange just tells people who are already against bullying that you are, too. Not sure how that is supposed to help.

    Babies – thanks for saying that. They’re cute to look at, but I don’t want to hold them. Puppies, that’s a different situation entirely.

  264. I LOVE the P.S. I am married to someone who claims to be proud to be an asshole, but then is also quite sensitive to people calling him an asshole. So maybe the limp will help protect his feelings…

  265. The only orange clothing item I own is an oversized Tshirt with a giant jackolantern face….

  266. Oh by the way, for Jon — I know a lot of people who wear “garb”. Somehow that word got snagged to use for historic clothing among re-enactors. So actually I have “medieval garb”. But the copy-editor in me gets twitchy because the medieval meaning for “garb” was a sheaf of wheat. And that would be just scratchy.

  267. I can’t get Dionne Warwick out of my head. . . .What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. . . .or maybe don’t be such an asshole. . . .there’s just too little of. . . .

  268. My six year old was very upset with me when I got home yesterday because I had not dressed him in orange. Until now I had no idea why he was supposed to have worn orange. I am sure this critical piece of information was buried deep within the red critical information (an all other crap produced at school) folder. Poor kid was probably shamed (bullied) for his unintentional pro-bully stance. good grief.

  269. Stephanie (#78)…I feel your pain. We are going through a lot of “suicide” and “self harm” issues in my house. We are reaching out to the teenage friend in pain and allowing her a safe place to go to. Being there and kind words are the most important things. You and your friend’s family are in our prayers, too.

    Jo (#206)…we love you and don’t let those mean kids get you down. You are part of this TRIBE. Feel better and make today the best you can. Time passes, my friend.

  271. Orange is my favorite color- I am actually wearing it right now and was all excited that I actually wore the right color for some sort of wear a color day and then realized this was from YESTERDAY so I am really just wearing orange on a Thursday.
    My bathroom is also orange, and I am sitting in my light orange office- which was entirely coincidental I don’t even think they know my favorite color and don’t even ask why they decided to paint offices orange. I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with bullying but since they researched colors to paint in our building and it is a school for students with, among other things, severe behavior challenges, maybe it WAS purposeful.
    BUT- what I find crazy is on certain days I’ll show up at work wearing, say turquoise. And the other 5 people I have lunch with every day are all wearing something turquoise. And other people I pass in the hall are wearing turquoise, and it seems that some weird telekinetic thing is going on where a bunch of people all show up wearing a not-so-popular-for-work color on the same day. Why is that??

  273. Maybe-Don’t-Be-Such-An-Asshole-Day. I love it! Reminds me of Wil Wheaton’s Don’t Be a Dick Day, held every year on his birthday: http://dontbeadickday.com/

    I feel like we should have one of these holidays once a month. :p

  274. I had breast cancer and I hate all that pink crap that is supposed to support breast cancer RESEARCH – not breast cancer ( cauze having it sucks). I think all that pink crap just supports the corporations who make money off you buying that junk. When I was ill, this is not a joke, I got Campbell’s soup in pink cans. It wasn’t even chicken soup.

  275. Yesterday I bought your ‘be kind or I’ll stab you’ pins for me & a friend, cos we live in different states but we were both feeling stabby. So I kinda think your zazzle shop is helping us provide clues to people that stabby is an option for some of us. if they’re not assholes they diminish the risk.

    And yes, if you realise that sometimes you’re an asshole it’s a good thing cos nobody escapes being one all the time.

  276. i’m so empathetic to other people about my asshole-ishness that I have avoided social media sites and social situations for fear of what will come out of my mouth. See how freakin nice I am? I’m a considerate asshole.

  278. Our rule #4 is Don’t be an Asshole. I kind of stole them from Ann Lamott, and rules #1-3 are: We are all family; You reap exactly what you sow; and It is immoral to hit first. I’ve found, though, that Don’t be an Asshole pretty much covers everything.

  279. You know if you sound out the word Orange really, really slowly, it sounds just like the word gullible. 🙂 (I saw that somewhere on the Pintrest.)

    Orange is the color of the late 70s early 80s interior decor of nightmares that never should be revived . Not quite sure how wearing a uniform of solidarity is going to promote people to learn to empathize or develop tolerance for our individual quirks. It would make more sense to wear a shirt that shares who you are or what you are interested in and share your uniqueness. Or Assholiness.

    Bullies suck… especially for the social skills challenged kiddos who don’t understand when they are pinning a target on themselves. We fight so hard to teach our Autistic and Aspie children how to correct their behavior to be more socially appropriate… It would only be fair that the other children be taught how to correct their behaviors and recognize when they aren’t being morally appropriate as well.

  281. “If you don’t think you’re occasionally an asshole then you are totally an asshole.”

    I want this on a damn t-shirt. But not an orange one since that color looks terrible on me too. I never realized it was because I was half Slavic.

  285. Orange is the color of jumpsuits that inmates wear in prison. (Unless it’s that prison in Arizona and then it’s pink and that really fucks me up on Breast Cancer Awareness Day).
    Orange is the color for Anti-Bullying Awareness Day. (I am so going to SNOPES this).
    I am 100% sure that a large majority of the people in prison wearing orange jumpsuits at least bullied someone…like to DEATH.

    My argument is valid.

    Now what was it again?

    Oh yes. Pink is the new Orange is the new Black…. and
    “Don’t bully or you will go to prison. Hopefully in Arizona”.

    ?

  286. Excuse me, but why the hell would anyone pick ORANGE as the color for anti-bullying? A lot of fat people get bullied and being a fat person I know this and I have tried my whole life not to go to prison so I would not have to wear a Orange Jumpsuit because I would like a Giant PUMPKIN, so why would anyone encourage large people to wear orange????? I know Orange is suppose to be the new black or some shit, but it’s not, it’s still you look like a fucking pumpkin in that Orange T-shirt take it off…ORANGE.

    People are cruel without even trying.

  287. Hello Jenny! Lol this reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer is refuses to wear the ribbon during the Breast Cancer walk and he gets bullied by the other participants. 🙂
    Have a great weekend – Iva

  288. I so get the color thing! I was assigned to be a parent team chaperone and had to wear yellow–my worst color…from now on I am only agreeing to things for which I can wear green:)

  289. I can’t believe you just typed “you guys.” What are you, a yank?
    I’m sharing this. (The post, not the “you guys.”)

  290. Oh the orange is the worst. I’m polish with a bit of Russian and German thrown in for spice. My skin tone is naturally yellowish. Other than agonizing depression bouts I’m fine health wise but people are always looking at me like I’m possibly jaundice. I went to buy some clinique makeup one time, and pointed to the most yellow and said, yeah, that is the color. The woman at the counter was, oh that is more for Asian skin. Then she put some on me and was like “sorry, you do have warm a tone”.

  294. LMFAO- This gave me a much needed laugh. I am a loud supporter of anti-bullying both my son as a child and my eldest grandson were victims of bullying. This whole ‘ribbon color’ awareness is a marketer’s/ fundraiser’$ dream. Except very little $$$ gets to the cause Remember the Susan Kommen foundation scandal? Orange is also ‘the’ awareness color for MS (multiple sclerosis) betcha didn’t know THAT. I do because I have MS and remember how the National MS Society marketed it. I’m blathering, what made me laugh was the ‘maybe don’t be such an asshole day’ and the test! My husband is currently MIA- meaning I returned from vacation and he had moved out, without telling me. It hasn’t been all wine & roses, but he had actually told me he loved me & didn’t want a divorce and after 6 yrs of me begging, agreed to marriage counseling. One of his infamous prefaces when he was being an ass was, ‘I don’t mean to be an ass/asshole…’ then he would say something very much asshole-ish. In the spirit of trying to save a 25 yrs realationship, I never said. You don’t need to TRY! Love your blog & will be a devoted reader. If you’d like to give my husband your opinion of a man who moves out while his wife is on vacation, lying the entire time & goes go GA ( we live in WI) AND made my son tell me, the ass is on Facebook. Hal Williams tell him his wife still loves his sorry ass & counseling is still an option.

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