Victor says squid-latin doesn’t exist but I think it’s just that he’s bad at languages.

in Random Crap, weekly reruns

An explanation about something that I pinned:

************

And in other news, it’s Sunday, which means its time for the weekly wrap-up:

What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up brought to you by the creators of Casetagram, the world’s first social design service to make customizable phone cases using Instagram & Facebook photos.  With national multiple TV features like Good Morning America, and E!, it has become one of the most loved accessory around the world.  Personally, I’m considering putting a giant picture of my face  on mine so that when I’m looking at my phone it looks like I’m really paying attention and not on my phone at all.  GENIUS.

94 thoughts on “Victor says squid-latin doesn’t exist but I think it’s just that he’s bad at languages.”

Read comments below or add one.

  4. I love the fact that under you review it says “This text refers to the Hardcover edition”. God only knows what you’d say abou tthe paperback.

  10. I love that shirt!!! Just wish it came in black or a darker color. (I can’t keep whites white to save my life)

    (Easy fix. On the right side pick another style. The other styles are a bit pricier but they have lots of different color selections so you can customize. ~ Jenny)

  16. Squid Latin is totally a language!! Just because someone can’t understand it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I don’t speak Spanish, but it exists!

    I have happened upon Allie’s blog several times. She is hilarious and now I must own her book! 🙂

  18. I wish I spoke Squid Latin, but right now I only speak Kid Latin. It’s mainly stuff like “veni vidi Velveeta”.. Cannot wait to get Allie’s book, even before your five reviews I wanted it, but that pretty much sealed the deal.

  19. I’m pretty sure they cracked Rosetta Stone by applying Squid Latin.
    Also, I hate it when I’m trying to save ships and they shoot at me. Every. Damn. Time.

  21. I am CRYING with laughter again. The phone-heads! And the eyeball guys in suits…my kid did that a couple of years ago in 5th grade…he called himself The Eye of the Law. And how in the FUCK did that chick get into that EGG????!!!!! This was almost as good as the terrible real estate photos. Thanks!

  22. Aquaman only speaks squid-latin on Sundays – just for fun. He thinks its cool, but it REALLY pisses the sea life off….
    Great post, Jenny. I’m sure Victor “gets you”, but loves needling you nonetheless.

  23. I really felt like I “got” that explanation. I was like “yeah, exactly! they DON’T understand. And what does nobody FUCKiNG KNOW Squid Latin?!?!?” It was that kinda week

  26. Isn’t squid-latin the ancestor of all languages? Because, we came from the sea, so…in theory we should all understand squid- latin. Clearly, Victor isn’t in touch with his ancient-sea-creature-side.

  28. I agree with that one chick.. Beyonce is no where near as cool as you are my dear! 🙂

    Hope you are looking forward to having a fun and Happy Halloween! What are you dressing up as??

  30. Ok – my brother-in-law lives in Minneapolis – the Moccasin bar is only 2 1/2 hours from there. I say we meet in Minneapolis and have the road trip of our lives ending in Hayward, WI. I’ll even let you pick the radio station – although my favorite station has always been “Scan.” Today’s my birthday, so maybe I’ll make that my birthday wish…or to cure some horrible disease. It’s hard to tell where the birthday wish is going to go until I’m actually mid-candle-blow.

  31. Okay, I’m in for squid latin classes, but *mostly* for the free squid.

    Also, those costumes…I have never seen a happier fly or a more unhappy rooster. Thank you.

    P.S. I started taking B12 – thanks for reminding me that I decided to take vitamins and then immediately forgot all about it.

  32. It’s so sad how poorly educated Victor is in the Latin derivative languages. (Pig always gets the attention. Totally unfair.)

  34. I had to think for ages about what squid latin really is… I suppose there’s no reason that it should be a pig instead of a squid!

  36. I want the mostly harmless T Shirt, but I need to get one for my son as well. That’s pretty much my life motto at this point.

  37. I wonder what squid latin sounds like…”Schwach schowk plop blub…BLUB! BLUB!!!!!”

    It’s very frustrating being a squid who’s trying to save the world when nobody understands you, or your mission.
    Perhaps there’s some sort of squid intervention program out there that offers counselling for giant squids in such a predicament.

    You can pay in ink.

  42. I don’t speak squid Latin but my kids and I are experts at squid math. Squid + mouse = squouse. Squid + ghost = squost. Hours of fun, I tell ya!

  43. Well, of COURSE Allie used your review–she knows you have powers marvelous to behold, and furthermore, you have minions who’ll run out and buy her book now that it has your seal (or should that be James Garfield) of approval! (OK, maybe not “minions,” but by now I’d say Loki isn’t the only one who has an army. 🙂

    Oh, and as for taxidermy: (1) You’re not allowed to “borrow” anything from that bar, and (2) it was my humble experience while living in the South (Athens, GA, in my case) that pretty much any decent BBQ joint has a metric assload of taxidermy…apparently lots of dead mounted animals improves the barbeque experience or some such. Perhaps it’s time for you, Victor, and Hailey to go get yourself some smoked brisket?…

  44. I cannot wait to read Allie’s book! And though it will be hard to wait to get it from Amazon, I will order a print copy. I really want to see the illustrations in the actual book. So exciting!

  45. When my solo book is published, you have free reign on my review.

    And I mean book by myself, not a book solely about Han Solo. But that IS an intriguing idea.

  47. Just wanted to say–Shrinking Women is a lovely and deeply powerful poem. It also sent me into a week-long disordered eating tailspin the first time I watched it. So a trigger warning is probably in order.

  48. Oh my God, you haven’t been to that bar yet??? Road trip, woman!! Let me know if you need a Wisconsin tour guide!!

  50. If you’re going to be a squid…at least be a squid that can kick ass. Mission…accomplished.

    Although that would make in INSANE amount of calamari. And now, I’m hungry. Fuck.

  53. Could number 12 on the “incredibly bizarre halloween costumes” possibly be a future gift for Victor?
    Nothing says love like him being able to DRESS AS Beyonce!

  54. I loved the costumes. I never think of people having a sense of humor back then, or being silly in any way, because Depression. It’s nice to see that wasn’t so, which I probably should have known if only I had stopped to think about it,

  58. James (of Milne’s poem) feels your pain. “James gave the huffle of a snail in danger. And nobody heard him at all.”

    (That’s one of my favorite poems of all time. I read that whole treasury to Hailey as much as my mom read it to me. I can still quote ‘Alexander Beetle” by heart. Nostalgia… ~ Jenny)

  59. From the Mocassin Bar site: “Gambling, boozing, and yodeling animals cover the walls of this dive bar cum natural history museum.”

    I’ve never visited a Cum Natural History Museum, but something tells me I’d better take an umbrella.

  60. You have read the Hitchhiker’s Guide, right? Cause if you haven’t, 1) I’m seriously shocked that YOU of all people haven’t read it, and 2) you must read it as soon as possible. Like, literally, drop everything you’re doing and go read it. Douglas Adams is your soul-twin.

  61. Khereva (comment above somewhere) in South Africa Christian bookshops call themselves CUM bookshops I giggle hysterically every time I pass one. Surely they can’t be that niave?

  64. Loved seeing the link to Momastery here, you’re two of my internet besties. Now if you just had Jen from Epbot and Deb from Smitten Kitchen I would probably implode from happiness.

  66. DUDE I totally live 45 minutes from that bar, and I have been there. It is just as awesome as you might think – super cheap booze PLUS all the fun characters (bar-goers and animals) 🙂 Worth a trip to the northwoods!

  68. Tell him you found him Squid Latin on Rosetta Stone for Christmas. It will freak him totally out.

    Also–in support of you (and Allie), I just bought BOTH your books. 😀 Thanks for always making me laugh, even when I shouldn’t!

  71. So, I am commenting here because I didn’t want to accidentally win the Red Dress for which I would have little use. Besides I couldn’t fill out the top and I don’t believe there is a razor company that would want to donate time and money to shave these Wookies I call legs.
    My comment isn’t really about awards either, I suppose. Though if anyone deserves an award, it’s you. If only for bringing some levity to what can sometimes be dreary and confusing times. Congratulations!
    My comment is pure appreciation. I fell upon your blog by accident. Fell in love with it instantly and can’t love another blog again. You’ve ruined me for other blogs. I will admit to a little shameful emasculation as I believe that your demographic is mostly the fairer sex. Though I am sure there are plenty of gorillas, like myself, that put their Google on Incognito and sneak a quick peak to see if you have posted some new take on Taxidermy or the way socks should fit better. (Not sure you ever posted about socks that fit correctly but if you could that might be helpful.)
    I realize, of course, that most of these comments get left on the cyber curb like so much refuse but I wanted to put in my virtual chuck on the shoulder and say Well done! Keep on truckin’ and ask you to try and use more cat euphemisms such as “Cat got your tongue”, “Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” and my favorite ” Cats, can’t live with them, can’t make them into backpacks.” Cheers -stay well!

  78. Haha what an excellent review, she would be silly to not use it! I also love that picture but I’m totally on the boat. Life’s confusing and everything is out to get you some days. Until you realize you’re really being saved.

  80. I loved your review of her book and I am looking forward to having it in my hot little hands very soon since I pre-ordered it back in July. I need the boost anyway it’s been a really shitty couple of weeks. I really wish I could end my comment better than that but applying for Grad school has turned my brain to Jello.

  82. Aren’t you the one who doesn’t like tentacles? Or am I getting my “writers and their neuroses” confused? Because if so, that would be wonderfully ironic.

  83. I may have to sue you for intentional infliction of pain. Today I had my car serviced but before I left I searched for something to read as I have purchased a number of books for that purpose. The trouble is I can never find them when I need them, but your book was by my door as I have been meaning to share it with my sister so I grab it instead. I have already read it and found it to be the funniest book I ever read and I’m sure my neighbors think I am loony as I couldn’t contain or reduce the volume of my laughter while reading it.

    Anyway, while I tried to read it quietly and with decorum in public, I was distracted by a wee lass who seemed fascinated with me (or she could have been pointing and laughing at me since I discovered I had my shirt on backwards like six hours later!) The lady sitting next to me seemed intrigued by me as well so I was really trying not to seem too amused. However I finally made it to the ‘Stanley the talking magical squirrel’ chapter…I knew how it started, not a problem. But I totally forgot how the chapter ended so when I got to the part with your niece, the raccoon and your sleeping father; well let’s just say it was rather painful.

    I tried very hard not to burst out laughing and the harder I tried, the more I wanted to laugh. My eyes started to water, I was making weird choking sounds as I tried to swallow the sound of my hysterical laughter. Then I realized that I must sound and look like I was trying to stifle some deep down grief as I was shaking with suppressed laughter, wiping at my eyes and trying to hold it all in.

    Needless to say, it was a very painful experience that I blame you for. You knew that your readers would find your tale more than humorous. I don’t remember a warning telling me not to read your book in public!!! I may never recover (although I think I’m now laughing more that it took me all day to figure out I had my shirt on backwards. No wonder I prefer logo-ed shirts so I can tell front from back!) Oh Jenny, why is life so painfully funny at times?

  84. I have ordered a mostly harmless shirt. To trick people into thinking I am. I’m not. Not at all lately. ((sigh))

  86. Is it terribly lame of me that I am excited that my pinterest comment started your brilliant explanation? Oh well.

  87. Hey! Have you and Hailey read the Emily Windsnap series? I think that the 2nd one has the Kracken! It’s a wonderful fantasy series. My 10 year old loves them.

  89. Don’t ever let anyone tell you squid latin isn’t real. OF COURSE they have their own language. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY NEED SQUID INK? It’s to write squid latin in. Obviously. That’s why “octopus” sounds like it’s already a latin word. The squids named them.

  91. Oh my FREAKING LORD WOMAN. Just started reading your book and can’t stop laughing out loud, right here in my living room, by myself. Which is WAY better than cracking up with everyone sitting here around me, giving me annoyed looks because they totally don’t see what’s so funny and no, they also totally do NOT want me reading the paragraph out loud to them, because hearing it is not the same as READING it.

    I didn’t even get past the deer sweater before I was snorting out loud, because I grew up in a small rural town where EVERYONE knows how to clean a deer, and I totally get it. Oh. My. Gosh. I can only say: you’re lucky your dad *hunted*. Mine did too, but also actually brought home…road kill. Ohhh, yes, he did…

    So, my eyes were watering from laughing, and then I rubbed my eyes so I could see, and I totally forgot I just made chili, so I now I have cayenne in my EYES and I’m still laughing and the phone rings, and it’s my husband, who needs to talk about our business (which makes me feel bad because I’m here laughing my ass off while he’s working), and I can’t keep a straight face, because I’m laughing and crying at the same time and trying to be all business-y on the phone.

    If you guys haven’t read that book…go out…right now…and order it. It’s freaking medicinal y’all.

    *wiping tears and going back reading*
    (thanks Jenny!)

  92. Jenny, I TOTALLY take people to the Moccasin on a regular basis (well, until I moved to London, but that’s a different story). But seriously, you should come do a book signing in London, stay with me and my hubby, then we’ll drink wine and fly back to the USA via Minneapolis/St. Paul International (it’s a direct flight). Then, just a 3-hour drive to a lovely cabin in the woods and a short jaunt to the Moccasin!!! There are LOADS of taxidermy shops in the great north woods of Wisconsin!

    Yes, I am totally serious about all of this. Long time reader, first time commenter.

  94. Omg!!! I read the introduction of Allie’s book and I nearly died laughing. I bought it immediately. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading