After the 80 bajillionth time Victor told me that I was doing something incorrectly I decided I needed to make a t-shirt for him that simply says, “You’re doing it wrong.” It would save him so much time.
He can’t really help it, but he does tend to point out everything I do wrong, from sitting (too floppy)…to drinking (too sippy)…to writing (overuse of the word “too”). I suspect that if given the opportunity, he’d critique the rate at which my cells divide and how poorly I organize my uterus. But then I considered the t-shirt idea again and I realized that when he told me I was “doing it wrong” I could stare at him and know that if he had chosen to wear the appropriate shirt he wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of saying it out loud. So technically he’s doing it wrong. And we both win. Or lose. Together.
PS. As I was designing this shirt for Victor he paused behind me and said, “That logo is crooked” and then walked away. And it’s not crooked. It’s just the way it looks on the website. But he’s sort of proving my point. Then he said he liked the way that it started out almost positive and then really got the point of the matter. I suggested that he could wear some duct tape over the “WRONG” part and just strip it off only when I was fucking something up but he said that duct tape loses its grip after a few hundred removals.
Then he pointed out a typo.
I rest my case, you guys.
He says he does too.
And in other news, it’s Sunday, which means its time for the weekly wrap-up:
What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- See above.
- Christmas ornaments. Horrifically inappropriate Christmas ornaments. Collect the whole set!
What you missed on the internets:
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- There’s something about Ariel.
- Amazon gave me an “author page”. Most people’s author bios are filled with their achievements. I prefer mine.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Dumb White Husband vs Santa. The perfect family Christmas is a lie. Just ask the guy in this story. He had the perfect plan and everything got together for the holidays just to screw it up. Weird shaped gifts, neighbors, fruitcakes, and some a-hole dressed as Santa telling kids they’ll be getting a bike for Christmas. It’s all the things we love that suck about the holidays. And, it’s only 99 cents.