All I want for Christmas is a drawer of sheep

So, apparently this Spanish artist (Oscar Tusquets Blanca) decided to make some taxidermied sheep tables because WHO WOULDN’T WANT THAT?

It's supposed to be a telephone table but I think it's better used as a small baaaaaar.  (Shut up.  I can't help myself.)

It’s supposed to be a telephone table but I think it’d better used as a small baaaaaar. (I’m so sorry. I can’t help myself.)

I was intrigued, but then I noticed that were each $80,000 and then I fell off my chair and hit my head on my desk, and I considered suing Oscar for damages.  It’s just a small bruise but it’s probably worth about $80,000 if that’s how we’re pricing things now.  Then I remembered that my dad is a professional taxidermist and my grandfather is a professional carpenter and my parent’s neighbors have pet sheep so daddy could just go shear a bunch of them in the dead of night and then no lambs would have to die (unless they died from being too cold because my dad stole their coats ) and my mom and my sister both know how to design and sew clothes so they could just knit coats for the naked sheep and this just turned into a family affair and OH MY GOD, THIS IS PERFECT AND NOW I KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.  

That, or $80,000.  I could go either way.

(Hat-tip: Neatorama.)

174 replies. read them below or add one

  1. And you could keep intestines in that handy little drawer in the side. To frighten small children with.

  2. I think it’s the little golden hooves that set this one above the rest.

    *and there’s a weensy typo right near the end “naked sheet”. Sorry, I’m compulsive.

    (Never apologize for helping with proof-reading. :) ~ Jenny)

  3. I’ll hold out for the Baaaaffet table.

    Anubis Bard recently posted Snow Day.

  4. OR…you could get $80,000, pay your family half of it to make this, and have a nice amount set aside for the next taximal (taxidermied animal) you want!

  5. I don’t think I have ever commented before but I saw on Neatorama, and immediately copied the link to send to you. Came to your page, and voila, it is of course, already here.

  6. Now I don’t feel so weird about having baby-calves-and-snow-seals bedroom set.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted A fan’s-eye view of Howard Stern’s Birthday Bash.

  7. Holy crap that’s cool. If anyone is handing out $80K, there is always a year long trip to Germany on my bucket list.

    Rory recently posted I Know, Right?.

  8. Hell, for $80,000, I could make you one of those out of a human being.

  9. I can’t contain my enthusiasm! I want one!

    Jenny Williams recently posted Patrick Stewart Shines as China’s Jade Rabbit Moon Rover.

  10. I bet you could get a taxidermist in Wisconsin to make one a lot cheaper. My kids got taxidermied kittens one year for Christmas. They really creeped me out!

    susielindau recently posted Greeking Out on Hyperbole and the Winter Olympics.

  11. I am trying to come up with a haggis joke but can’t. Good luck with this!

  12. It needs to make the “baaaahhh” soudn when the drawer is open. Then it’ll be perfect.

  13. Wow. I am speechless…but what would you put in the drawer? Wool socks?

  14. Okay, THAT’S just Messed Up.

  15. I saw this and thought “This would be the perfect place for my knitting notions and my latest project in a nice yarn bowl.” Because, really, nothing says “A knitter lives here” than a taxedermied sheep as an end table.

  16. Thanks for the chuckle!

  17. You should get a pair and use them as night tables. Then when you can’t sleep, you could count them.

    Sean Sandulak recently posted Depression, Anxiety & Your Diet.

  18. Sweet Jesus, that is a lot of cash for a table…but of course, you can’t beat a one of a kind find like that! ;)

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Pinterest Nightmare #762: Don’t Drink When You Ink.

  19. $80,0000???? My guess is he made one, decided they were wayyyy too much trouble to make another one but he had to cover the costs of all the materials for the 1000 or so he PLANNED to make because otherwise his wife might kill him for spending 80K on stuff to make sheep tables.

    Just a theory…

    TheFakeGourmet recently posted Nostalgic for seeds.

  20. I’d use it as a bedside table, because then when insomnia struck I could count my table.

    Might be more effective if you had more than one, though.

  21. Definitely the best/creepiest present at the baby shower

    Michelle recently posted Philip Seymour Hoffman And The Coke Commercial.

  22. My puppy would wrestle this table and then chew it to shreds! :(

  23. BEST BEDSIDE TABLE EVER. Build an alarm clock into the head so when your alarm goes off the ears whirl, the eyes light up and it goes BAA-AA! BAA-AA! Until you bop it on the head! Then set the alarm, move it into a friend’s child’s bedroom and DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT THE ALARM.

  24. I find this somehow disturbing, even though it’s a particularly excellent, lifelike work. Perhaps that’s the problem. I like your sheep shearing idea much better than this taxidermy one!

    Brenna recently posted A Conversation.

  25. And Tracey’s RIGHT.
    It DOES need to make the “baaaaaah” sound when you open the drawer.

  26. Suddenly you’ve started a family business…

    Jess at No Pithy Phrase recently posted Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear..

  27. But they come with magic…

    Oh once I had a flock of sheep
    That grazed upon a feather.
    I’d keep them in a music box
    From wind and rainy weather.
    But every day the sun did shine
    they’d fly all through the town
    And bring me back some golden rings
    And candy by the pound.
    —folk song

  28. That table would look great in the baaaathroom (it’s really hard to resist, isn’t it?). I like the idea of the drawer making the baaaing noise when it opens. That would be cool. Or maybe if you squeezed one of the sheep’s ears. Now we need a taxidermied pig that that is really a bar fridge. Or a stuffed cow that you can actually dispense cold milk by squeezing it’s udder. There’s got to be a market for this shit.

  29. For 80K you could probably get a “sheep whisperer” to train live sheep to stand very still and hold your cocktail. hell for 80K I”d hold your drink for you in a sheep costume…actually I’d probably do it for free. I just confused myself.

  30. Hm, I wonder if you can clone sheep tables the way you can clone sheep. I mean, it seems pretty reasonable. So if you buy one for 80k you can clone like 10 more and make a lot of money.

  31. We bought a mattress and it came with one of those numbered sheep stuffed animals, which we gave to my daughter. She named it Bob, and she gets REALLY mad when I call it Baaaaaaaaa-b. Even though it was her idea.

  32. Eustice is grateful that you want to go with a non-violent replica. But mostly he’s really upset that anyone thinks sheep should have a drawer in their middle. He also says that sheep love anything hand knit

  33. Well, if that don’t bleat all.

  34. It’s kind of beautiful. Although, I think for 80K he should at least have a bottle opener in his mouth.

  35. I was in a convenience store in Deep East TX a while back and they had a huge alligator taxidermied with a deer in its mouth. Had to have been 14 ft long. It would go great in your house!

  36. I think I’m kind of speechless, or :”bleat-less” right now

    skullwoman recently posted Magic and Loss.

  37. you could totally do that for under $80k. i wonder how much of that is in the hooves. i mean, golden hooves are a total luxury.

    steph gas recently posted i just don't know..

  38. I’ve been seeing some cool taxidermied animals and I don’t want you to miss out! What’s the best way to show these to you?

  39. Embrace me. My sweet embraceable ewe , , ,

  40. It has a drawer. That is the best/weirdest/cutest/scariest thing I’ve ever seen.

    Steph recently posted Blog for Mental Health Project.

  41. I’d want it on caster wheels, to make moving it between rooms easier. I don’t think caster wheels are too much to ask for, if I’m shelling out $80,000. Hell, you could toss a leash and collar on it (her?) and take an afternoon stroll around the block. And name it Baabra.

  42. Now, I’ll only be able to count sheep in my nightmares.

  43. But if you get one, I guarantee you at least one guest within the first week will ask you where the baaaathroom is:)

    candidkay recently posted Saving America and my son’s pants.

  44. Perhaps it is 80k bc it is actually a Trojan sheep and there are dozens of taxidermied mice inside. Dipped in gold. And encrusted with jewels.

  45. I’m just trying to figure out how you wake up one day and decide “I’m going to make a table out of a taxidermied sheep.” Once you’ve decided to create the table, the drawer and gold hooves are a given.

    Sue recently posted Caught on doggy cam.

  46. I would like my sheep to be living, so if I couldn’t reach my drink or my knitting needles (when I decide to take up knitting), I can just call the sheep over and not have to get up. I’d be willing to forgo to drawer for this modification.

  47. That thing is scary as shit. I can’t even imagine how that could be worth $80,000.

  48. 51
    ocularnervosa

    That’s so baaaaad.

  49. It so frightens me that I totally enjoy your warped sense of humor and the randomness of it! Your stream of conscious approach is magnificent!

  50. Victor should let you buy it. Can’t use use all your taxidermied friends as tax write offs? You blog about them, plus share photos of them. They are a work expense.

  51. Make sure you remember to get the gold foot covers for your sheep table.

  52. I’m thinking maybe make it into a motorized portable bar with remote control….

    (THIS. “Come here, sheep, sheep, sheep.” ~ Jenny)

  53. I would be very scared to open that drawer…

  54. At least the drawer is not in the back. That would be offensive. Because the rest of this is not offensive. At all. Hors d’oeuvres, anyone?

    The Confessioness recently posted Anthropologie’s Newest Fad Goes Up in Smoke.

  55. If you put Wolf Blitzer on top of that, she’d be the sheep in Wolf’s clothing.

    Shelley J recently posted Hey, my eyes are up here! Talking big boobs, Darwin and God.

  56. This kind of makes my bull scrotum candy jar pale in comparison.

  57. 60
    John Kirkpatrick

    Perhaps that drawer contains those Golden Fleas I’ve heard tell of?

  58. My grandfather had a taxidermy horse head that was part of a lamp. Sadly, when he died, that was the first thing my grandmother threw out. She hated it with a passion.

  59. And that is not even close to the most frightening or interesting piece of stuffed stuff you ever wanted.

  60. I think my “favorite” part has to be the drawer coming out of it’s stomach which could only be topped by it coming out of its ass! I’m no art critic but don’t we all think it could be so much better??!! What kind of “fun” stuff could one put in a drawer like that.

    brendadion (www.noliferehearsals.org) recently posted Top 15 Books You Will WANT to Read to Your Kids Again and Again.

  61. It would be nice if it made a sound when you opened the drawer or sat something on it’s table.

    mmaxwellbey recently posted frozen in california.

  62. If ever I come across a field of sheep wearing knitted coats in Texas I won’t have to ask. Meanwhile my husband will be so confused. “Who’s nuts now?” I’ll ask him.

  63. 66
    Boulder girl

    Maybe without the gold hooves (sp?) it would be less than $80K. And your mom and sister could start on their coats for naked animal projects by starting small, something like this http://www.geekosystem.com/chicken-sweaters/ though obviously they’d want to sew instead of knit so jackets instead of sweaters.

    This post is going to make me giggle all day. Thank you

  64. You need this in your life. And all in the name of family togetherness? Double win.

    Jess recently posted Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever.

  65. Some days I feel like I’ve seen everything online– then I come here and think…no..no..I’ve seen nothing yet. I never cared for stuffed animals until I heard of you. I still don’t care for them that much- but you add that twist in twisted that makes me appreciate them more. But always take the money! Always!!

    YourMotherIsADirtyGirl recently posted I give the illusion that I’m sexy and people believe it. You can fool them too!.

  66. I initially read the title as “drawer of sleep.” Which would also be awesome.

  67. Ewe are sooo bad! Ok, that’s all I have. But that is really cool! This means you need to write your book faster so you can be rolling in sheep drawer dough!

    Melanie recently posted Comment on Look at this Photograph....

  68. It’s the ‘art’ that costs the money… taxidermied sheep = not that expensive, taxidermied sheet + art, darling = mucho expenso!

    Eleanorjane recently posted Visit Birmingham, England? Well....

  69. I just read a ghost story about sheep.

  70. This is why I won’t donate my body to science when I die. They can have my organs but I don’t want to end up in someone’s living room with a bottle opener screwed to my ass. I’m not sure how I made that leap. Is it hypocritical that I still want a sheep table?

    Julie You Jest recently posted Pigeons get all offended when you call them penguins but they should be honored because penguins are way cuter..

  71. Best laugh I’ve had in weeks!

  72. Thank you! This made me smile!!

  73. I love the idea of turning our pets into useful and fun things after they pass on. This is what I want my kitties to become after they leave us. http://beingsmokey.blogspot.com/2012/06/cats-and-copters.html

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  74. And you’ve given your family PLENTY of time to build it! :-)

  75. For the person in your life that has everything.

  76. 79
    Lisa Victoria

    Love it! Maybe a rooster lamp to go with it?

  77. perhaps it could be a Lamb table..

  78. The comments gave me some of the best laughs I’ve had in weeks. Fab-u-lous!!!!!
    Certainly need wheels and a leash!

    Tammy recently posted Heat Pump???.

  79. 82
    Kristina Hunt

    Thanks for being yourself Bloggess! I literally spit coffee on my laptop reading this… and the comments that follow…. I think you give George Takai a run for his money on the humor side of the interwebs….

  80. OMG, I absolutely love your thought process there on shearing sheep and knitting coats for the lambs. What a fun ride!

  81. That is so FREAKING AWESOME!! The kids would never think to look for the chocolate in that drawer!

  82. love the way you write and how you think. i honestly think we were separated at birth somehow. don’t worry i won’t turn into a creepy stalker. or will i? no really i won’t. i’m serious I won’t. but I do have your book. i carry it with me everywhere and tell everyone about it. ok not that much. but kind of a lot.

    Laurie Free recently posted OH SH*&!!! I just searched “sarcastic humor” in WORD PRESS & my search yielded zero results. I’m effed. #somisunderstood #damagedgoods.

  83. 86
    SqualorHouseGail

    Can you find them for sale cheaper at a BAAAzaaaaaaaaar? Can I get one with the alarm-clock option and customized with extra-long eyelashes?

    My weak contribution to a hilarious post and comments!!!!!!!

  84. So many missed opportunities here! A small shelf between the hooves to display smaller taxidermy animals and maybe some cup hooks on the ears for keys or, y’know, cups and stuff. Cup earrings would definitely add a little je n’est c’est quoi!!

  85. GLITTER TOES!!!!!!

    That is all.

  86. How about you call it a confort service animal and apply for a grant? Or maybe,,,,hum…….
    KICKSTARTER FOR THE LAWSON SHEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go baby go!!!
    Dave

  87. 90
    thevoltz2000

    I think you should stick a horn on its forehead and put it on Ebay for $160,000. A unicorn table is TOTALLY worth double what a sheep table is. Totally worth the money.

  88. Hey Jenny, You are forgetting one MAJOR thing. Victor probably bought this for you for Valentine’s Day. Nothing says LOVE like a sheep table with a drawer. I bet he’s mad at me NOW.
    Love, your friend, Laurie F.

    hibernationnow.wordpress.com recently posted The Taste: Nigella vs. Jacquelyn.

  89. The family that builds sheeps together keeps together.

  90. I came over here to show you this: http://www.ebay.com/itm/261390182897?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 It can’t beat (or is that bleat?) a sheep table but it does cost less!

  91. Oooh I really hope you can somehow convince your family to make it for you! I would loooove something like that, I also want one of those capricorns and one of the gryphons from Fantast Works taxidermy! One day!

    If you can’t convince your family, work on it by asking for something bigger first:

    ‘Dad, can I have a taxidermy whale chest of drawers? Shark? Well, how about a sheep then? That’s reasonable, right?’

    Laura Morrigan recently posted Outfit Update: December.

  92. Jeni and I were thinking the same… excellent knitting table!

  93. JUST IN CASE they’d gone on sale since you posted this, I clicked the link… now I want the whole bedroom set.

  94. How do you clean a taxidermied…anything really? I mean I know phone tables in your better houses are probably very neat. But every flat surface in my house eventually gets used to store keys, change, letters, old batteries and coffee cups. All that to say I’m pretty sure I’d stain the poor sheep, and I was just wonder how to clean it. Cause I’m totally going to spend 80k on that…I’ve started a savings plan. Do you think they have lay away?

  95. I don’t have anything to add regarding the taxidermied sheep-table but wanted to let you know I went to the doctor today for a very scary test and the only thing that helped me hold it together was that your “twin” was the assisting nurse. Seriously. She looked JUST LIKE YOU!

  96. Sometimes things are just priceless. Like now.
    But I love your DIY spirit. I say go with that, because it’s cheaper and more of a challenge.

    Psychobabble recently posted One doodle that can’t be undid.

  97. I am so glad I bought your audio book instead of reading it. I can read all of these in your voice. I imagine them fast and gaining pace as you get more excited.

    PS. That sheep is a wee bit creepy. Maybe if it wasn’t smiling…

    Woman_on_Pause recently posted Friday Fiction – Lamp Light.

  98. That is disturbingly awesome. I think it’s the drawer emerging from the stomach that does it for me.

  99. Holy cow er— sheep.

    80K?? Sounds like this guy got all creative, in a fit of awesome weirdness, and made something he doesn’t want to ever make again EVER, and then someone else was all, “Hey. Would you make ME one of those?” So the guy was like, “Eh. Sure. They’re $80,000.00. Plus tax.” Thinking of course, no one will pay THAT. Like that lady who started selling tumbleweeds online as a joke, and then pretty soon all the cool Colorado imports from the city were like “WE MUST HAVE SOME OF THOSE, no matter what the cost,” and they were paying like $250.00 per tumbleweed or something ridiculous, and now she’s the Bill Gates of the tumbleweed industry.

    The drawer and gilded hooves are definitely a special touch–total deal breaker if it didn’t have those… ;)

    stef recently posted One Year Later--A Look Back Down the Rabbit Hole.

  100. You will need $160,000. One for each end of the couch. Never lose the remote again. Get a little saddle to keep your lamp from falling off.

    Seriously, that’s a really nice sheep table. I hope you figure out hwo to make them.

    Caley recently posted Think Spring. But You Don't Have to Plant yet..

  101. You could do all of that…call it PETA-friendly (no sheep had to die…they just got a bad case of the goosebumps (sheepbumps?)) and sell them for $100k! Genius!!!!

    Marianne recently posted Tiny bubbles.

  102. I love that the sheep looks so pleased to have been skinned and stuffed — because if you are going to drop 80 grand on a sheep table, you at least want one that WANTS to be a sheep table! There is nothing worse than a GRUMPY sheep table! It totally ruins the Feng Shui of a room.

    Jana recently posted “Hooked” on Fishing.

  103. Actually, I think you may have just written a treatment for a Hallmark Hall of Fame Family Christmas Special….one that I would actually watch.

  104. 108
    scarlett116

    It’s for posts like this that you need to have some way to appreciate/acknowledge individual comments. Really. You have witty followers.

  105. They’re actually $82K. Just wanted to point that out, because it would suck to have the $80K and end up not being able to get it because you’re $2K short. You’re welcome.

  106. The same guy has a toilet paper dispenser shaped like an ass. http://www.tusquets.com/fichag/571/08-portarrollos-culito-de-puttino

  107. At first glance, I literally said out loud “What the fucking FUCK?!” May all art be so perplexing. Also, you should know that I occasionally use your addictions to make mine look better. When I informed my husband that a bunch of weird doll shit was going to be showing up in the mail, including what would appear to be the result of a random scalping, I was like well, at least it’s not a dead cobra and mongoose having a party in a crate that I forgot is mailed to myself, AMIRITE? And he was all, I see your point. Satisfaction obtained. Thanks for being fucked up in the best possible way. Your strangeness makes all our lives better.

    Adrasteia recently posted In which I narrowly escape hospitalization and solve a strange sadness mystery.

  108. I would knit up a sweater for a mostly naked lamb if it was to get you out of a pickle.

  109. This is a household NECESSITY. Clearly, he needs to lower the price because he will totally make up all that money in shear (pun intended) volume of product moved. Best. Table. Ever.

    kellml289 recently posted If you don’t like books don’t read this.

  110. I don’t usually think about taxidermy as decor, says the lady delighted with a dead tarantula under glass for her fifth birthday, but sheep tables are fabulous and would totally go with the rest of your menagerie. There’s also a need for a unicorn coffee table. With a cup holder. And a special seat for Hunter S. Thomcat.

  111. Wow sounds like a great family business. You could chargee $10,000 and everybody would be like wow what a bargain!

  112. I’m willing to bet you can find something like that in San Angelo!! LOL Surely someone has made one..

  113. Add some wings?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVJ-W6LioB8 (Monty Python Flying French Sheep sketch).
    Eh. Voila.

  114. Answering When I Blink (102)

    They use glass eyes. Skink, one of my favorite fictional characters from author Carl Hiaasen, has lost one eye. Somewhere along the line he acquires a glass eye meant for a taxidermied owl. It is much too large for him, but he wears it with panache, and it only adds to his considerable mystique.

  115. wow,,,I’m sheepless!

  116. Hey, your Dad doesn’t even need to shear a sheep! I can send you plenty of wool! lol With the lanolin still in or washed! LOL :)

  117. That’s a big fat fail in my book of things to do with a sheep. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

  118. This is one of the few places on the Internets where reading the comments should be mandatory.

  119. 123
    @shthisisme

    Damien Hirst sold a stuffed shark for 12 million dollars. So I guess that makes this a bargain.

  120. 124
    CBRetriever

    you might want to check out the wonderful table shown in this articel

    http://www.paris-update.com/fr/art/temporary-exhibitions/22109-le-surre-alisme-et-l-objet

  121. 125
    karenmpeterson

    I’m pretty sure you could write that off on your taxes. Which makes it so full of win there’s really no reason NOT to get one.

  122. That’s not a drawer of sheep. That’s a sheep-of-drawers.

  123. Your hysterical . i wonder how much my bulldog would go for stuffed she is on her last leg around here. My bff and i started a blog together. would love to know your personal opinion if you have a sec, we love you and love your blog. you make us want to better members of society.

  124. It definitely needs to be on casters!

  125. I can’t get one. I’d get tired of the “Mary had a little lamb” jokes really quickly.
    And actually, I find it a strangely more disturbing than Juanita….

  126. I know! It needs clothes just like you said!

  127. 131
    Brandee Lancaster

    I find myself torn between wanting to put Sun Glasses on it, hug it, then hide my gold (if I ever get any) in it’s drawer. Confused and amused… the good life!

  128. You could find a slaughterhouse that does sheep and buy a complete skin from them, maybe. Your dad could take it from there.

    Comrade Misfit recently posted Hoisted By Our Own Petard; NSA Edition.

  129. @Tracey #11 That’s an easy upgrade. And only $10,000!

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted The dual basket idea worked, apparently.

  130. Ewe know ewe want one

  131. Do you have a Tumbler? Please tell me you do.

  132. OK, so here’s what I’m thinking. That lamb sounds like it could be a bit pricey, so I have an alternative that you might want to think about. I have a cat that would make a lovely jewelry box. Now, it’s not dead yet, but it’s old… I mean REAL old, so you shouldn’t have long to wait.

    It’s black, with beautiful green eyes and it’s got a nice shiny coat with only one small bare spot that I’m sure you could cover up with something. This cat is the perfect size too. It has plenty of room inside to hold your valuables (once you hollow it out) yet not so large as to take up all the space on your shelf, or nightstand.

    Best of all is the price. It’s a whole lot lass than eighty grand. I’m talking about FREE (gratis!) here! Not only that, but if you act now, I’ll even pay the shipping! The thing is, you will need to move fast on this. (before my roommate gets home)

    I would send you a picture, but it’s hiding under the bed. (I just don’t understand cats at all)

  133. It’s eyes are looking at me..

  134. Somewhat related … saw a movie about zombie sheep that act menacingly and eat humans. It was one of the funniest/worst things I have ever seen. It’s called Black Sheep and it is out of New Zealand. Give it a watch, preferably after having had too much wine!

  135. I’m pretty much brainless right now and couldn’t find a way to email you directly on your site, but that’s okay because what I wanted to tell you about is actually kind of related to this post, so at least I’m not interrupting as much as I might have been. Right? Um, yeah. Anyway, apparently at the Consumer Electronics Show there are some breakdancing taxidermied weasels (or squirrels, maybe hamsters. Stoats?) But the only info I can find about them is a single picture on Popular Science, wtf?! Could you use your amazing powers of Bloggess-ness to find out more about this? The world needs to know!

  136. With $80,000, you could just go out on the lamb.

  137. it would be even cooler if you could shear it once a year.
    http://talesofastork.wordpress.com/2014/02/06/m-d/

  138. 145
    @shthisisme

    If you do get it and put it on caster wheels, be sure the the wheels squeak a bit. Then at night, in the dark, yoyr rolling sheep wine bar can’t sneak up on you.

  139. Is it wrong of me that I find the gold cap/hooves more disturbing than the drawer in its side?

  140. I don’t know how I feel about taxidermied animals serving an actual purpose. On Oddities they turned a monkey riding a dog into a cooler. And the dog dispensed drinks. It made me feel weird.

  141. Um, did you scroll down the page in your link? There is a whole entire bedroom ensemble made from sheep, including a bed, and a curtain holding sheep headboard. I kind of think the girl in the picture is trying to reenact Luke Skywalker’s Taun-taun adventure. But with less blood. Love the table, am kind of squeamish about sleeping in a sheep. But that might just be me.

  142. Obligatory Monty Python clip:

  143. 150
    emily brower

    If you get it wet does it shrink down to a foot stool?

  144. I raise sheep, and would be happy to send two fleeces to you, so your family could make each of us a sheep table!!

  145. oh my god. i was laughing at the post and now i am DYING at the last two comments.

  146. Just make sure the taxidermied sheep match the taxidermied bat and unicorn because, you know, feng shui and all.

  147. No wheels? Forget it.

  148. Mother Mary full of grace! I want one!

  149. Now that you’ve endorsed it, that sheep table will probably show up in the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book.

  150. No. This is not a table. It’s a fabulous cat toy! I think the drawer is for the catnip and the table is the place to sit when it’s positioned under a window.
    At least that’s how it would be at my house.

  151. I know better than to say something like “I thought I’d seen it all, Jenny, but..”

    But seriously, this entire post actually did knock me off my chair at my desk – at work. Awkward. Good luck at Christmas, Jenny. I hope you receive many pieces of furniture made from the stuffed carcasses of dead animals. At least these creatures can continue to serve mankind while dressing up your humble abode.

    Now, do you have this Oscar guy’s address? I want to have him make a luggage cart out of small rhino. That would be so cool ,wouldn’t it?

    The Hook recently posted 5×5 With The Hook: Mayor Jim Diodati.

  152. Technically, isn’t it a sheep of drawers?

  153. This just went to #1 on my list of ‘Things I didn’t know I couldn’t live without until now’ so thanks for that.

    Marie recently posted S01E05: On Being Canadian.

  154. Why wait til Christmas? It’s almost Valentine’s Day…

  155. 162
    davidbreslin101

    @Dylan Brody: “All I want for Christmas/ Is ewe.” “I Love Ewe (for sentimental reasons)” Ew. And now, every love song ever written is ruined for me.

  156. Okay this whole article reminds me of you and I didn’t want to link the dozens of things you might like separately, so here it is. http://www.cracked.com/article_20857_5-terrifying-trends-currently-overtaking-etsy.html – Check out this awesome article on Cracked.com

  157. It’s the drawer, baby. The table would be nothing without the drawer.

    And I read the price as eight thousand dollars and thought that was outrageous. But EIGHTY thousand? Somebody is definitely on crack.

    kmkat recently posted Olympic fashion review..

  158. This doesn’t have anything to do with anything..but I saw this and thought of the Bloggess.

    “You”, he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain”.

    Michelle recently posted Bring Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Weird Search Terms.

  159. I absolutely concur with Jasette23 about having this AMAZING find on casters. But, one would have to have two, right? For either side of the bed or couch? I mean, symmetry is important. But if you’re not the matchy-matchy type, you could have Baabra (baarilliant) on one side, and say, a goat on the other, for that “I’m so cool that my taxidermied side tables don’t match, but DO in a way that is WAY too fashionable for you philistines to understand.” Personally, I’d get a ram since I’m an Aries – I’m not an astrology freak, but that would help with lulls in conversation, since I don’t think that lambs appear on the zodiac. Wait. A ram is a boy sheep – never mind. OK, I’m rambling, but I thought you’d appreciate that. Anyway, my point? Two. I’ll go soon, I promise, but I’d lean a bit harder on your dad. I’m still waiting for my kitchen table from my carpenter father, and no animals were even required for that! He’s SO lazy. Thanks again for being my imaginary internet friend. You make me laugh, and you make me feel better with the weirdest shit. I also want to make you soup sometimes. And now I want lamb chops. Is that wrong?

  160. So if you just sheared the sheep instead of killing one, would you just put the fleece on top of a table and it would be the same thing?
    The fact that I am so concerned about this makes me chuckle.

  161. Ewe know, this whole post makes me feel a bit sheepish.

  162. 170
    Jennifer Reiss

    I thought this table was the whackiest taxidermy I’d ever seen. But buzzfeed just posted a “Which badly taxidermied animal are you?” quiz. I’m sure I won’t be the only person curious which one you’d be. (I never really saw myself as a lamb extruding a duck, but what do I know.)

  163. I saw this today and it reminded me of your sheep table post: http://www.billdavenport.com/tireironarchive/tireiron/tireiron12_6.htm

  164. I think you might really like the Morbid Anatomy Library and Museum in Brooklyn. I submit this for your consideration – http://loveisspeed.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-morbid-anatomy-library-is-artists.html

  165. As far as taxidermy goes – I think you might like this – http://richardwiseman.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/tx4.jpg

  166. You really need to read “Stiff” by Mary Roach- The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers!! You would love it!!

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