So I was just on pintrest and one of my friends pinned this shirt and I thought, “Hang on. Why does Jesus have penises for arms?”
And then Victor was like, “Those aren’t penises. Those are dumbbells. Why would you ever think those look like penises?” but I stand by my original assessment because maybe Jesus had a dodgey circumcision, and I think we should all accept and celebrate that possibility because I’m pretty sure Jesus was all about acceptance and love and stuff and He probably wouldn’t be judging your genitals, so maybe treat your neighbor(s genitals) like you would like them to treat you(rs). That’s from the Bible.
Then Victor just shook his head and walked off and then I wondered why I never paid to put any doors in my office because I can’t even wonder aloud about all of Jesus’s penises without being called out for being really bad at recognizing exercise equipment. And now I feel fat. And confused. And possibly accidentally sacrilegious.
PS I blame all of this on the tank top. I don’t even like tank tops. They always show your bra strap and I have bad upper arms. Probably because I don’t use exercise equipment. No one wins here.