Sheep are dangerous to nipples

Today is Throwback Thursday, which means I get to just post an old picture and not write anything, but I never do it right because I can’t follow directions properly.

This is me with a sheep:

MEANDASHEEP

I think I’m about 6.  It’s not my sheep because we could afford sheep until I was much older, but I’m assuming it was a neighbors since I’m barefoot and obviously walked there.  You can see a small bald spot on my head from when I discovered the awesome noise that scissors make when they cut hair.  I’m wearing a dress that I think my mom sewed out of an old sheet and it was my favorite dress ever.  It was like I was already in bed when I was wearing it.

The shitty thing about bottle-feeding a sheep is that they try to rip the bottle out of your hand because they’re super selfish and want ALL OF THE MILK ALL OF THE TIME, but then if they pull the bottle out of your hands and you drop it they just look at you like it’s your fault even though they were yanking on it like they were furious you even had it.  And now I’m wondering if they do that in real life with their mother’s nipples.  Like, do they grab hold and just yank hard like they’re trying to rip off her boob and run away with it?  If the sheep mom has two babies do they try to rip her in half?  Is this why my neighbors were always letting me feed sheep babies?  Was it because all of the sheep moms were recovering from dangerous boob injuries?  Or do lambs just get that grabby with milk bottles because they assume that you must have ripped off a boobie yourself and they want to hurry up and get away from you as quickly as possible because you’re obviously a dangerous nipple-ripper?

These are the questions that will never be answered.

My husband says they’re questions that should never be asked.

I’m not quite sure which of us is right.

153 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Sheep-nipple-milk issues notwithstanding, can we talk about the background cat? And the whistle! This picture is everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    Nic recently posted I’m a Fast Pedestrian with Angry Thoughts, but at the End of the Day I’m Spiritual So It’s All Good.

  2. I am now changing all of my online names to “Nipple-Ripper”. T-shirts and bumper stickers to follow.

    Like

    thetattootourist recently posted Throwback Thursday? I Think I Got It….

  3. You bring up interesting questions. Of course those questions should be asked! Ask Victor if he remembers in school when teachers said “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Also, I’m glad I wasn’t your teacher in school.

    Like

    Rhonda recently posted Paul Ryan: The Out of Touch Douchebag.

  4. 4
    Allison Smith

    Omg. I’m covering my nipples just reading this.

    Ouch!

    Like

  5. For an author who doesn’t right porn, you sure do talk about nipples a lot.

    FYI: Baby goats are equally hazardous to nipple safety and well-being.

    Like

    Shelley J recently posted I am a freaking humanitarian. Practically a saint..

  6. Thank you for giving me another reason to point out to Hubby that maybe kids aren’t for us…

    Like

    But That's For Another Blog recently posted I did a bad thing and now Karma is gonna make me pee my pants..

  7. Goodness.. Having lactated myself, I can tell you that sometimes babies don’t let go.

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. My mind went somewhere else when I read the title. I should write a blog called “That is NOT an apple” about the time a horse bit me in the chest.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. If I wasn’t scared of sheep before…I am now.

    Like

    damedessa recently posted Dating Deal Breakers.

  10. A slightly color-corrected version:

    Like

  11. I want a goat! Where can I get one?!🙂

    Like

    Elizabeth Balsom recently posted OOTD – Blazer + Bustier.

  12. I think this is one of those rare and magical married moments when you can BOTH be right. Savour the moment.

    Like

  13. damedessa: That makes TWO of us.

    Like

  14. I’ve never bottle-fed a sheep, so I have no answers for your questions. But now that I’ve read your description of bottle-feeding sheep, I feel like I’ve done it. So I now have an interesting new topic of conversation to bring up at boring dinner parties.

    When I was seven, I found the best shirt in a store. It was purple, had puffy paint, and came with a gold, fake-jewel encrusted whistle on a cord. I wanted that shirt so bad,but my mom was all, “I’m not buying an ugly, $25 shirt so you can have a plastic whistle that doesn’t even work!” followed quickly by, “don’t stick that whistle in your mouth toorove it works! You don’t know where that thing’s been!”

    Like

  15. Am I the only one who’s staring at that photo because the cat’s tail appears to be stuck up your dress? Yes? Oh.

    Like

  16. This and your cow vagina story has me flashback to being a city-raised girl whose mother decided she wanted to raise sheep in Oregon. Guess who has two thumbs and had to stick her arm up a ewe’s bottom to turn a stuck lamb? That’s right. This girl.

    Like

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  17. 17
    Alicia Lane

    I was so sure we were going to get an explanation for your red (panic?) whistle… I am disappoint.

    Like

  18. I’m pretty sure baby sheep are like the rabbit from Monty Python. So you’re probably right and lucky you got out alive.

    Like

  19. I don’t know why when I first looked at this I saw the cat and thought it was a goose with its head up your dress… and that it was the entire reason you had posted this picture. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed.

    Like

  20. Glad you’re alive. For reals.

    Like

  21. Thank god I’m not the only one who ignored the cute lamb to focus on the cat coming out of your butt.

    Like

  22. I should name my child that. She used to stand up on my leg and balance herself while trying to nurse. Then she’d want to look around at the same time and it’s not like she was a gentle child. I’m surprised I still have my boobs attached to me.

    Like

  23. When I was a teenager, I had two dogs, a mother and her daughter. The daughter somehow never weaned off of breastfeeding, so she would dart under the mother and make the craziest suckling noises you’ve ever heard come from a fluffy little dog. The daughter was pretty hyper, so sometimes she would try to run off again after breastfeeding with the mother dog’s nipple still in her mouth. The poor sweet mother was so patient about it, even though she made really annoyed sounds every time it happened. The little daughter dog MAY have been part-goat.

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  24. Other than the cat’s tail up in your skirt, that’s a pretty damned cute picture.

    Like

    Coco recently posted File Under: Things I Maybe Shouldn’t Get So Upset About, But This Is Serious, Y’all.

  25. Lambs headbutt their moms right in the udder! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lD8cK9uuqa8

    Like

  26. The cats tail definitely looks like it’s holding the skirt out! Not just you, @mrsj.

    The cat is the doppleganger for my twin’s cat! So much so I’m now wondering if Jules traveled in time, and that’s why she’s a bit… Well, touched.

    Like

  27. They seem pretty chill when they’re drinking from their mama… so maybe they ARE really furious that you even have the bottle. They’re so very young and sheep-y, that maybe they think, “Hey, this girl stole my mom’s boob”. Maybe they’re really angry about the whole thing, as anyone would be… yet they’re also addicted to milk, so they have to pause to drink in the middle of their boob-rescue?

    Like

  28. When I first looked at this I thought there was a goose with his head up your dress and that it was the entire reason you had posted this picture. Now I don’t know if I feel relieved or disappointed.

    Like

  29. CAT?? Am I the only one trying to figure out if that’s a unicycle with a magic kickstand??!!

    I would blame the aggressive nipple grabbing on it having its tail banded but s/he doesn’t appear to have it banded yet. They do get quite feisty when we cut off circulation to their tails, not sure why though??

    Like

  30. Dangit. Forgot to check the little box to show my link. When you write a post about vagina-shaving, you really wanna make sure to get maximum reach. Sorry.

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    abandoningpretense recently posted The Time I Shaved My Hoo-Ha.

  31. 31
    Progressive Witness

    A “dangerous nipple ripper”?

    IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?

    Like

  32. I raise sheep. Yes, the babies are rough on mom’s nipples too. She kicks them when they get too annoying, or kicks and then runs away.

    Like

  33. It looks like you just pooped out a cat, which is at least as interesting (if not more so) than the fact that lambs are shameless nipple-rippers.

    Like

  34. My guess is that the bottle’s nipple just can’t hold a candle to a real sheep mama boobie and so the baby sheep is trying in vain to get a good flow going, kind of like Kanye.

    Like

  35. they do a LOT of headbutting, maybe that plays into the tugging?

    Like

  36. Questions should always be asked, especially those with no answers.

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  37. Nipple-ripper may be my new insult. It sounds vaguely Shakespearian.

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  38. 38
    Maria Macario

    Not only they try to run away with nipples, they also head-butt their mom’s breast – teats – udders ( somebody help me here??) all the time while feeding. So pretty much like my son, making breastfeeding such a pleasant experience seven times a day. But on the bright side, they wag their little lamb tails very cutely while doing it.My son does not wag his tail, sadly.

    Like

  39. this makes my nipples hurt…

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Kicked Off/Ticked Off.

  40. Not for nothing but that is a happening haircut. I’m only saying that cause I sported one back in the day too. Don’t remember what happened, but I was 11 so I should’ve known better. Shhhh let that be our little secret.

    Funny after reading this – now I feel violated. I don’t even get how that works.

    Like

  41. This is exactly the kind of shit that drives your google search criteria. Next time you run one, it’s going to say someone was led to your blog by searching “sheep nipples”. You have no one to blame but yourself.

    Like

  42. I feel certain the whistle doesn’t need an explanation. Clearly it is there if the lamb attacks her nipples. Duh.

    Like

  43. Yes, the cat’s tail definitely looks like it’s up up your dress. Pervy kitty…

    Like

  44. Sweet pic! I want a lazy summer dress like that.
    I never do a throw back correctly either. Always the wrong day, I am.

    -Angie

    Like

  45. I think the dangerous nipple rippers would be a good name for a band

    Like

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  46. i the? …I hate it when I forget to include whole words…think should have been in there

    (Fixed it for you. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  47. Oh. Just ask a Kiwi (New Zealander) about their (love) of sheep. There are more sheep than people in New Zealand so unusual interactions eare bound to happen. Sheep have an inbred angry brain from years of running away from New Zealanders who pursue them aggresively. Cause you dont want to get an ugly one do you

    Like

  48. Can I get two nipples for a dime?

    Like

  49. When my brother was around that age, he discovered that noise that scissors make with hair and, because he idolized Tony Danza, as all young men do, he cut a Tony Danza style loop into his bangs, because he could not comprehend the concept of a “part”.

    He had a permanent Tony Danza part literally carved into his coif.

    Don’t give your children scissors.

    Like

    Rev. Back It On Up 13 recently posted Big Boss of the Day: This Guy With the Jacket.

  50. Of course you should ask these questions. Victor just doesn’t have a nipple in this fight.

    You’d care more if you had working nipples Victor!

    Like

    Laurie recently posted The Story of Oscar.

  51. You are just all kinds of awesome

    Like

  52. I live next door to a sheep farm and it makes me wince to watch the lambs nurse every spring. First, they run up and headbutt their mothers udders repeatedly until the milk lets down. And then they drink frantically, their little tails spinning in circles while the mother looks pained, standing there as they pull and fuss and fight. And the poor mothers who give birth to triplets, they’ve got three lambs fighting over two teats.

    Like

  53. I assume that’s why you had the whistle – to keep that nipple-ripping sheep in its place.
    Good job.

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted There’s always room for evil.

  54. AWWWW what a couple of cutie patooties!!! (Not the point, I know.)

    Like

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  55. Love that pic AND the dress. My kid ran around in pillowcase dresses (they were a gift – I have zero skills) for years as a wee one.

    Oh, do I pity the mama sheep. Also, I sort of think I might have given birth to two lambs. That would explain the damage. Of course, incidents like this one with our hamster (Herve) don’t help the situation either … http://olddognewtits.com/2013/04/20/with-hamsters-like-herve-who-needs-coffee/

    Like

  56. it’s a cat fart!! =)

    Like

  57. You’re right, of course! 🙂

    Like

  58. The terrible thing about having been a nursing mother is forever remembering the sensation of the twist-bite of a distracted baby. I had to cross my arms over my chest and grimace to read this. It probably looked like a really bad Max Schreck impression.

    Like

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  59. I wish my blog included the awesomeness of wearing a bed sheet dress. Note to self: make bed sheet dress.

    Like

    Stella Raven recently posted I want to hurt my children and that’s okay.

  60. Calves are even worse. They not only try to rip the bottle out of your hands, they also head butt the bottle in a lame attempt to make it give milk faster. Imagine how mother cows feel, getting head butted in the udder by their baby.

    Like

  61. Not just sheep… Our calves did the same thing.

    Like

  62. Hahahahaha! We had sheep too, when we first moved to Texas. We lived out in Bronte for a year with a gazillion animinoids & this retro shack my dad built to house them and the alfalfa. It was surrounded by inhumane red-ant hills that looked like little military campsites for armies. Our dogs would roll around in musky road kill and we had wasps nests and armadillo living in the tool shed. My mom woke up to a tarantula crawling across the floor one morning, and our big dog knocked me down and took a snake bite that was meant for me! When we first moved in, the house had been unoccupied for nearly 6 months and the plumbing and light fixtures were full of dead scorpions! no joke!! We shared a party-phone with two other neighbors and there was no civilization for miles. Took me and my sister 45 minutes to get to school each day and my dad 1hour 45 minutes to get to Goodfellow AFB each morning commute. Your stories always bring all these memories flooding back. My favorite is the evening sunsets and locusts buzzing, and being able to lay on the roof of our house and see stars no one can ever see with the naked eye because there were no lights or civilization anywhere…pure awesomeness. Miss our sheep–they were fabulous. Thanks for the share!!

    Like

  63. You are hilarious. And it would appear your readers are equally hilarious! I myself am very excellent at stating the obvious (and at coveting other people’s sheet dresses).

    Like

  64. Now I have to spend the rest of the day investigating sheep nipples. Thanks, Jenny.

    Like

    Steph recently posted Don’t Eat That Off The Floor!.

  65. All this boob talk reminds me of when my friend was telling about her interview for the position of lactation counselor. My son, without a beat, said “I believe the job title is… “Titty Wizard”!”

    Like

  66. I was going to compliment your dress! Perhaps I should sew all of my bedsheets into dresses!

    Like

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  67. I had a calf head-butt a bottle into my crotch at age 8, and I swear to God, my lady hoo-ha has never been the same again. That fucker probably snapped something. When I was pregnant, my pelvis had this problem where it all just fell into pieces and it felt I was grinding glass with all the joints. I fully and completely blame that hungry little bull calf who messed me up. I might have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Now I have an excessively wide hip girth due to the fact that its “just not going to come back together.” Damn doctors.

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  68. My mother used to make all my clothes too. And cut my hair. And make me wearing matching dresses with my little sister who is two years younger than me (which should be illegal. Only twins should wear matching clothes. And even then only if they are under ten or playing a prank).

    Like

  69. Hee, I chopped off a good chunk of my hair for the same reason at about the same age. Day before school pictures, too!

    Like

  70. I’m just gonna go ahead and say ‘both’.

    Like

  71. As someone who raises sheep, I can say they totally do this to their mamas as well as to the bottles. And new-lamb teeth are razor sharp, y’all. Those udders are made of some tough skin!
    PS – you can help us with lambs anytime here….we expect our lambs in May!

    Like

  72. You’re BASICALLY Scarlett O’Hara

    Like

  73. I’m the only one who notices the travel trailer and wonders if you have the Griswold cousins visiting?

    Like

  74. As always, your comments are very applicable to my life right now. Just got bit on the boob by a student today. I don’t think she was part sheep, but you never know! Thanks for showing me that others have similar problems… Sheep nipples – something I don’t often think about, but I am now!

    Like

  75. Um, yes to all of your questions.

    Like

  76. To willedalive @ comment 69, I think you and I read VERY different versions of Gone With The Wind.

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    Shelley J recently posted Who needs to join a gym when you have student assistants?.

  77. 77
    Doug in Oakland

    When I was three, we moved onto some acreage south of Eureka, Ca. and my father went to the auction and bought a dozen motherless calves. I think he called them “culls”, but as It was 50 years ago, I can’t be too sure about that detail. What I am sure about is that the ’64 flood happened that winter and we spent a whole lot of time in the end section of our little barn feeding 12 voracious calves with two over-sized baby bottles with a seemingly endless downpour happening outside. To this day the smell of powdered milk makes me gag.

    Like

  78. The whistle must be for when the sheep attack after you drop the bottle. Blow on the whistle for rescue!

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  79. My question? Why is the cat’s tail pulling up your dress? Maybe it’s just giving you a little tickle..
    Love the photo.

    Like

    susielindau recently posted The First of Many Wild Rides.

  80. The nipple ripper does pose a dangerous threat. But it doesn’t scare me as much as that scheming cat–who looks like she’s about to take both you and the sheep out and tear into that bottle. Or eat your face. Maybe both. Probably both. Good thing you have a whistle.

    Like

  81. Yes. They do. They really do. I raise goats, who are similar to sheep in the way they abuse their Mom’s nipples. They attack those teats, bump their heads into them to make the milk come down. Ouch. If my babies did to that, I would be too terrorized for the let-down reflex…

    Like

  82. Curious what the whistle was for?

    Like

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  83. Mary had a little sheep,
    She took it to bed with her to sleep.
    The sheep turned out to be a ram,
    Now Mary has a litle lamb.

    Like

  84. Maybe that’s why the mommy sheep try to kill themselves. A friend of mine wrote a post about suicidal sheep, constantly dropping dead for no reason in the middle of a meadow, or drowning themselves in the water trough. They don’t want to ever deal with a nipple-ripping devil lamb, ever again.

    Like

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  85. 85
    Pretzelogic in Philly, PA

    So, apparently a baby sheep is the key to the ultimate boob workout that leaves one’s nipples really ripped?

    I may not have understood this correctly.
    😉

    Like

  86. One, sheep were obviously too tame for your household…
    Two, from my own experience breast feeding…it feels EXACTLY like someone trying to rip your nipple off. It was 18 years ago and I’m still traumatized. I mean, I DID IT, because it was best for my daughter and all that…and it got better EVENTUALLY. But for the first few weeks my nipples looked like raw hamburger meat (I know, nice visual). My husband actually told me that if I wanted to keep my shirt on for the rest of our marriage, he was fine with that. (He apparently got over the trauma).

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  87. Oh, and what’s with the rape-whistle?

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    Marianne recently posted Hotel hell.

  88. Most of my lambs don’t rip the nipples off (we call them teats), but they are pretty hard on their mommies. It’s funny to watch the lambs race over to their moms and see the moms brace themselves for the onslaught. The lambs (by this time nearly as big as their mothers) dive to their knees and head butt the udder, sometimes lifting mom right off the ground. The moms don’t complain nearly as much about weaning time as the babies do!

    Liked by 1 person

    majorasue recently posted Babies!.

  89. Well, this is the most interesting TBT photo and explanation ever.

    Also, I hate this new commenting format. I don’t use WordPress and,for some reason, the link to my blog doesn’t work with FB or Twitter.

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  90. There probably should be some kind of PSA about nipple rippers. The more you know…🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  91. And then there’s the pervy cat looking up your dress.

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  92. Looks like you had a feline accomplice even at that young age.

    Like

  93. I’m wondering if you were taken off the breast feeding too soon which resulted in your nipple fixation? Because I did the math, and 37% of your posts in the last month have to do with nipples!

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  94. I also bottle fed a lamb, when I was about the same age, and my clearest memory of it is how hard the thing yanked on the bottle. I have goats and they have had babies, and there has not been yanking on mama goat. (The babies do butt the mother in the udder sometimes though, which seems like it would really hurt.) But I think sheep are just jerks.

    Like

  95. I feel like I missed out on so much not growing up on or near a farm. Very educational post.🙂

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  96. The answer is yes. They DO do that to their mom’s nipples. I wish I had a farm video to post here right now, but I don’t. It’s somewhat horrifying. You’ll have to take my word for it.

    Like

  97. Calves head-butt their moms while nursing. Babies are jerks.

    PS. I have, currently, as an adult, pyjama bottoms made out of old bed sheets. Best. Thing. Ever.

    PPS. My friend who made them for me made me swear that I’d never wear them outside. She knows me so well.

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  98. You have the BEST questions, Jenny! Victor is all wrong.🙂

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  99. Wait…what? Also, the cat….oh nevermind.

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  100. I just wanted to say that I’ve been following your blog and read your book. I have sevear anxiety and depression and your blog motivated me to get help. I live in Toronto Canada and let me just say the health care here sucks. I was told I needed a referral from a family doctor to see a psychiatrist. It took me months to build up the courage to call around and find a doctor tAking new patients. I made an appointment and asked for a referral. She said no, she didn’t like me and would not take me as a patient because people with mental health are to much work. I asked if she could at least just send the referral and she said no. She then suggested I go to the emergency where they had to provide me with a physiatrist and other supports. Tearey eyed, sweating, shaking and crushed I thanked her and left. I then drove to the hospital and circled it for 2 hours till I had the courage to enter. I then spoke to a crisis worker who told me if I came back the next day I could see a psychatrist. I drove back the next day only to be told that they are not taking new patients, the cant help me and I should get a family doctor to give me a referral to a psychiatrist.

    I am wondering, did you have as much trouble when you asked for help? Or is public health care just that bad. If you did have this trouble, how did you deal with it? I want help and don’t know what to do anymore.

    (I had exactly the same issues. It sucks that it’s almost impossible to make yourself get help for mental illness and then the system makes it so hard to get the help when you finally ask for it. The best advice I have for you is to not give up because finding the right shrink is worth it, to let your family help you because they’re going to be your best advocate when you can’t do it alone, and to call the suicide hotline if things get bad. I’ve called them before and they were able to talk me through the dark stuff and they were able to give me a list of doctors in my area who might be best for me. Don’t give up. You’re worth it. ~ Jenny)

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  101. 101
    ocularnervosa

    The real unasked question is why are you wearing a rape whistle?

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  102. @You and Hailey and Hunter are just too cute.

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  103. When I read the title of this post I was afraid of what I’d find in it. Thank God it was just a gorgeous little girl feeding a lamb with a bottle!

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  104. I just hate that thing cats do when they’re on your chest like they’re trying to milk you, pumping at you with their paws. Ugh!

    Bryan Hemming recently posted: http://bryanhemming.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/mrs-grubblys-and-mr-scrubblys-saturday-morning/

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  105. Reblogged this on Life and Other Catastrophes and commented:

    I always love the Bloggess!

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  106. Nipple Ripper, lmao. I think you just started a meme😛

    Like

  107. You know, making a 50’s-style dress out of old sheets has actually on my “to do maybe someday if I ever stop getting overwhelmed and distracted, so probably never” list for, like, ever (since I saw it on Pinterest). I never thought of it as wearing bedding around, though! Now I must find a way to get this thing done!

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  108. 108
    Jennifer Allemann

    I often wonder things like this, if we don’t who will ponder these very important questions??

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  109. Fun to see your old photos. Lambs are rough with bottles because their instinct is to ‘knock’ the ewes udder to release the milk. They don’t rip on the nipple the same way they do on a bottle, they are actually trying to ‘knock’ the milk down even though it’s not required! In case you wanted to show Victor that sometimes the questions need answers and that you know more than him!

    Like

  110. 110
    Lucky Maria

    worse than questions that can never be answered are questions that could be answered but won’t be. Whose bike is that? What’s the cat’s name? Is that a rape whistle around your neck? Sigh.

    Like

  111. 111
    Lori Ann McVay

    We used to bottle feed lambs at my grandparents’ farm. Years later, a lone stampeding sheep almost ran me over while I was standing on a paved road to take a photograph in Ireland. I can’t help but think it was retribution for the slow flow of the nipple.

    Like

  112. omg, Jenny. The only thing that makes me laugh more than your blog is imgur.com

    Like

  113. NEVER stop asking questions, Jenny.
    If you do, you die. Not immediately, of course, but eventually.
    Trust me..

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  114. I needed bangs because of Mr. Rogers. When telling us about scrapbooks, he really should have stressed that OUR PARENT needs to cut the piece that will be saved!

    I told my daughter to call me to watch this episode when she gets to it on Amazon Prime.
    She loves him like I did. My husband was too far out in the boonies to get the show when he was young enough to watch — and HE is the one who had Rev. Fred as a graduation speaker.

    I haven’t fed lambs…but I’ve fed goat babies. They’re darling. But they eat poison ivy so YIKES.

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  115. Maybe the lambs have to be nursed because the ewe is used to produce milk to make cheese, so they feed the lambs artificial milk. Or sometimes if the ewe has twins (or sometimes triplets), she doesn’t produce enough milk for all of them. Or the ewe gets mastitis, so her milk is tainted. Or the lamb was an orphan (i.e. the ewe died while giving birth).
    When the lambs suck hard and head-butt the ewe’s udder, it increases her milk let-down. It’s an instinct, so they do it when they’re nursing from a bottle, too.
    Or were those rhetorical questions?

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  116. It is an awesome sound that the scissors make when cutting hair!

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  117. Maybe that’s why Mary HAD a little lamb…

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    karenmpeterson recently posted Top 10 Science-y Movies.

  118. Our Halloween costumes were made out of curtains. Best royal capes ever!

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  119. Kitty must be waiting patiently for the inevitable spilt milk scenario to play out.

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  120. Once I was camping. I have small boobs so I wasn’t wearing a bra, just a light cotton top letting the breeze blow thru free and hippie like. Anyway we were packing up the tent and I was incharge of the tent poles. I had them all in a neat pile on the floor/ground. I grabbed them, walked over to the truck to find the tent pole bag. On my way over to the truck I tripped and one tent pole hooked on to my left nipple. You know how nipples are soft sensitive skin for the purpose of arrousal (I don’t have kids so there not for feeding). The pole got stuck good in there and it pulled and jabbed some more and it bled a little, my nipple bled. This is kind of what I’m picturing with lambs suckling mothers boobs. No???
    Thanks for letting me share my ouch nipple story.

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  121. Lambs are cute and tast good too..

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  122. i want that camper!!

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  123. I think sheep are just bottomless pits who can never be satisfied.

    And I want to know what that cat is up to. Looks like it’s doing something pervy with your dress.

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  124. I have photos of my boyfriend and me trying to bottle feed four or five goat kids at once. And you are EXACTLY right!!! Nipple rippers AND nipple head butt-ers! I hope I can post or send you videos. We nicknamed one set of twins, “Humperdink,” because at LESS THAN THREE WEEKS they were humping one another??? What is UP with that? Anyway, I’ll try to post something tonight when I get to my computer. Fun photo! The cat tail up your dress, though… hmmmm.😉

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  125. Oddly my main question is about your hair. You like the sound of the scissors so much that you failed to stop until you reach your actual scalp? You had other hairs.

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  126. And I’m wondering if your other hairs were jealous of not being trimmed. Maybe not when you got that far but still. Anyway. The lamb is cute. So is the cat. And your feet.

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    voodoo2013 recently posted 2014.047 The Risks of Being a Nerd ~or~ Speak Clearly, Han.

  127. And now I’m wondering why my first post is just from Voodoo and the next one is from voodoo2013 with my blog and am I going to get a boot to the head for spam commenting cos I’m totally not doing that and I can’t wait for your new book. And I love you.

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  128. The only bad or stupid question is the one that isn’t asked. So, you win!

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  129. If I had a twitter account I would have posted this there, given the discussion. Clara is an amazing woman – a medallist in both summer and winter olympics (!) and someone who battles/has battled depression.
    http://www.cbc.ca/sports/clara-hughes-begins-big-ride-to-promote-mental-health-1.2572781

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  130. suztest. Did you mean me, bradiance when you say you want that camper?

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  131. i was formally known as bradiance in the camping accident to the nipple story, but I am now Debe.

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  132. My friend dropped half of a yummy turkey sausage on the floor at bunco last night. I told her that the “five second” rule didn’t apply to unknown community center floors and she better not eat any more of it…

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  133. “The Nipple Ripper” sounds like a truly terrifying wrestling move.

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  134. If you think sheep are dangerous to nipples, try bottle-feeding calves. Not only are they famous nipple-destroyers, but they also like to dance on your bare feet while they nurse. To this day I’m convinced that’s why the joints in my toes are malformed.

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  135. Lambs are hard on boobies, I know that. We lived on two different farms in North Yorkshire (sheep country) and, like any city-raised American, I couldn’t get enough of the sheep. But when the lambs go to nurse they head-butt the ewe’s boob because it gets the milk flowing. But they do it quite violently. It was hard to tell if they yanked on the nipples too much because lambs have the worst case of fruit-fly brain I’ve ever seen. NURSE! RUN! FROLIC! RUN! GAMBOL! NURSE! all in 90 seconds. They’re crazy. And hilarious.
    As for your hair, my older sister had electric scissors. I’m sure you can imagine the lovely haircuts I gave myself when I discovered them. It’s a good thing my mom didn’t have hair clippers, or I’d have been cue-ball bald!

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  136. Freaking awesome love it. we raised lambs during myparents midlife crisis. In fact, their nicknames for each other are wolfs and rams. I remember many a cold evening of nipple ripping lambs on our sofa. sweeetttt Jesus. this brings back some fun memories. hope someday to get to meet you.

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  137. Not only sheep, but goats too. And do you know how they get milk to let down? It’s politely called a “bump”. Yeah, except…. head butt full force into the udder. OW!

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  138. I love how the cat is on high alert!

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  139. You are prepared for both an earthquake and a farm. That’s dual preparedness right there.

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  140. Oh! And the sheets! So you were also prepared for sleeping! As you said!

    That’s triple preparedness. That’s a triprep.

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  141. 141
    Lynda Kruss

    Love the picture – all the elements of it – the sheep, the cat, the whistle, and especially the dress. However, the very best thing about it is that it shows how much Hailey looks JUST LIKE YOU. Are you sure Victor participated in her conception?

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  142. Cute picture. I didn’t know sheep babies were so aggressive. Geese? Yes. That I know first hand.

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  143. Hi Jenny,

    I’d like to provide some help for a fellow commenter “Moo”. She said she was having trouble getting mental health services in Toronto. I’m worried she may not read the comments to find this information…Can you please help me share this information with her? (I know here comment was in the past-tense but just in case she has not yet found the help and referrals she was seeking.)

    This is the link to the Ontario branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.
    http://ontario.cmha.ca/mental-health/services-and-support/crisis-support/

    They provide a guide to how to get mental health assistance.

    They also have crisis line numbers and services for her area. There is a toll free, 24 hour line she can call. 1-866-531-2600.

    Ontario also has the Connex Ontario Site (http://www.connexontario.ca/) that provides health services information, including information on getting referrals to mental health services. They have telephone and live texting (for non emergency) 24/7.

    Toronto Western Hospital and St. Josephs both have emergency psych services (not all hospitals do apparently). Referrals are also supposed to be available from any walk-in-clinic doctor (even if they are not your regular family dr). Or she can go ask for help at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto (250 College Street, 416-535-8501 x 6885).

    Sorry if this seems a bit long and detailed…but I’ve been helping a loved one navigate the mental health system in my Province for years and I know what it feels like to be up against a wall not knowing how or where to get help.

    Good luck to “Moo”.

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  144. Ha I know this all too well. I miss feeding baby lambs. I grew up on a farm abd even though they are greedy buggers it is a lovely experience to have xx

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  145. I’m nearly 29 and that scissor on hair sound is still a danger to me. Maybe I should have become a hairdresser so I could hear it all the time without risking my own hair….

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  146. I totally witnessed two baby sheep (lambs?) work together to block a mother sheep and grab her nipples yesterday. I’ll let you know, they do pull on the nipples like they’re trying to rip them off and run away with them. Also, I like to say baby sheep rather than lambs because the word ‘lamb’ reminds me of fairy tales where they’re innocent and unassuming little creatures with a soft white coat and these were totally not that at all.

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  147. 1 – you make me google weird stuff. and from ME that’s saying something! I randomly get the thought in my head that I NEED to know global circumcision statistics!

    2 – when I googled “why do lambs pull so hard on bottle nipples” your blog came up. First. WINNING

    3 – apparently they do that when it’s time to start weening them. they get bored. also, in w/ mom she would kick them.

    4 – we should be kicking lambs… for their own good… or something.

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  148. Jenny I am so happy you think these things. You are correct and now I am thinking about these same things. clearly these things need to be thought about.

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  149. Is it just me, or does it look like the cat is trying to look up your dress?

    PS- I have a dress, that I wear as an adult, made from a vintage sheet, and I love it, because I do feel like I am still in bed.

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  150. How come you didn’t mention that a cat has emerged from your bum in this picture?

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  151. Because I work at a library, I now know that kangaroo nipples look like large maggots. Google it.

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  152. I once raised orphaned goats (2), and, yeah, if they are anything like sheep, they are way greedy. They used to start hollering for their bottles at the but-crack of dawn.
    My son, at four years old, thought it was great fun to let them in the house. I slept in a waterbed at the time. ( The eighties)
    You have never truly experienced the confusing, disorienting facts of life, until you’ve awakened to a hysterically laughing four year old, while baby goats are joyfully jumping on your water bed.

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  153. ummm…. did anyone else notice that the cat looks like it looking up your skirt in the picture?

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