This is the worst word search ever.

A friend of mine emailed this to me last week and then yelled at me for not responding, but in my defense, I’m always convinced these things are gifs that will turn into a screaming, bloody ghost-girl as soon as I lean in and focus.  (It won’t.  You can trust me on this one.)

threelittlewords

her:  JUST DO IT.  Mine was super accurate.  Just tell me the first words you see.

me:  Fine. I saw “drwk”, “fulld”,and “shwusk”.

Her:  You’re supposed to pick real words.

me:  Those are real words.  I just used them.  “Drwk” is like, when you’re so drunk you can’t text properly.  “Fulld” is probably the past-tense of filled.  “Shwusk” is that noise you hear when you rip off that gross, wet, used rag on the bottom of a Swiffer.

her:  No.  Try again.

me:  I also saw “kenergetic” but I thought that was too easy.  And I saw “CNN” but I think that’s just subliminal advertising.

her:  Kenergetic isn’t a word either.

me:  It is.  It’s when you’re all fulld up with kinetic energy.

her: I don’t know why I even send you these.

me: I DON’T EITHER.

****************

And in other news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:

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What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

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What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by The Opinionista.  Her anonymous, Op-Ed style blog is fascinating to read whether you think she’s totally right or think she’s totally insane.  Or both.  Could be both.  She covers everything from politics, life, Americana, and TV to why she thinks most men suck in bed.  You should go check her out.

186 thoughts on “This is the worst word search ever.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I found “FULL”. Not sure if that is a commentary on my eating habits or a metaphor for my awesome life. I vote the second because I don’t need anymore reminders that a sleeve of oreos isn’t a serving size.

  2. Mine were KILL ADORABLE LOVE, in that order. And on Mother’s Day even. If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding in the closet for the rest of the day.

  3. I got Pure, Emotional and Adorable. I can sort of understand the first two, but the third.. it must be talking about my cat

  4. I found cool, special, and hopeful. That’s COOL. I am special because I was dropped on my head as a baby and I am pretty sure my mom drank through her pregnancy with me. I am hopeful that I don’t get attacked by coyotes on my way home from washing clothes.

  5. I saw Amazing, Special and…..Kill.
    Upon second look it was actually skillful, but I don’t want to know what it says about me that I saw kill first.

  6. “Special, hopeful, adorable”
    Well, I’m a SPECIAL education teacher who is HOPEFUL for my students’ futures…as for ADORABLE, flattery will get you everywhere! 😉

  7. Kill, amazing, and cheerful.
    Sounds scary if you ask me. I’d stick with your finds and don’t go looking again. You might find kill..

  8. Well the first three words I saw were – Some say the – but then I looked at all the letters in the big box and saw – adorable, intelligent, skillful – much better!

  9. I saw adorable, intelligent and unreal. Now I’m concerned it’s trying to send me a Matrix type message.

  10. Oh, my. This. This is why I made you a part of my life. Kenergetic is now a permanent part of my vocabulary.

  11. CNN was the first word I saw. Maybe they made the word search and are just waiting for everyone to tune in and then do some sort of hypnotic exercise. I’m staying away from CNN. And word searches.

  12. Ut oh. I saw “PURE”, “CHEER” and “BRAVE”. How did that happen?

    But that was after I saw “WUSK” “PWSS” and “FQDK”, shut my eyes, and went back in for a retry.

    Happy Mother’s day to all the moms out there. If you’re down in the dumps today because
    1) you’re not one, (and you wanted to be)
    2) your mom’s gone or
    3) you’ve no relationship with your own…
    shift perspective and honor a mom you admire or spend the day instead with Mother Nature. I shifted my perspective a few years back and was able to make the weepiness and feeling sorry for myself finally take a back seat.

    (Amen. Even the luckiest of us only get a certain number of years when this day isn’t filled with sadness. I wish they’d change Mother’s Day to Woman’s Day. Or Ninja Day. I’d celebrate Ninja Day. ~ Jenny)

  13. I am so glad I am not the only one who doesn’t trust images on the internet…I am always convinced every gif is going to turn into something terrifying.

  14. I found “amazing”, “lover” and “hear”. I guess that means that I’m great at sex and always listen when you speak. I’m pretty super! 😉

  15. I saw, “Love, Adorable, and Brave.” Brave is the one I need today, as my brother and I count the seconds until this first Mother’s Day without our mom (cleaning her house for her as her gift – she worked it; yes, she did.).

    Send happy thoughts to those of us without our moms today and those who also want to BE a mom, but can’t for some reason or another.

    Happy Mom’s Day to all you lucky ones! I certainly celebrate you all!

  16. I found “Creative”, “chrken” (clearly for “Ermagherd! Chrken!” when you need McNuggets), and “Heart”. ’cause that’s my power, like Ma-ti, motherfuckers.

    It is the worst word search ever. No diagonals and no verticals?

  17. Wusk – clearly the past tense of whisk 🙂 but I have no clue what that says about me 😉
    Creative – see Wusk.lol.
    Energetic – to which I laughed until I was nearly sick (given that I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic FATIGUE Syndrome)! Maybe it means I’m energetic in my mind? snorts

    Also, that’s a rubbish word search as the letters aren’t in neat columns as well as lines, but it could just be that I’m a little QKOIJSFN about these things 😉

  18. Funny Strong and Cheerful – I suppose that’s a good default description, except when I am in what my family calls “teacher mode”. That’s my authoritative mode, and watch out if I give the “teacher look”.

  19. I LOVE Mary Roach and everything she writes. You might want to try BONK, her book about sex.
    P.S. The stupid comment box won’t let me link to my latest post “A Mother? Me?” at my Bipolar Me blog: bipolarjan.wordpress.com.)

  20. Well, the first thing I saw was ‘spermotional’, after that I made an appointment with my eye specialist for new contacts…

  21. Yeah, I found nonsense words too. I think it’s a right brained kind of thing. I choose to embrace that… And Happy Mother’s Day!

  22. My friend just had a baby. A recent conversation we had made me spit out my coffee laughing reading about your spitup towel. Which I probably now need too to clean up after myself…

  23. I clicked on the link to see how you installed an actual cat’s tongue on a light switch. Oh well, I guess I’ll just continue to wonder….

  24. Skill, intelligent and full (which is funny because i haven’t eaten yet today). Though it took a while because i had to stop and rant about how the letters DO NOT LINE UP VERTICALLY!! What kind of irritating, stupid word search DOESN’T LINE UP???? Day = ruined. Thanks.

    But happy mothers day and you’re all awesome 🙂

  25. I found cool, lover and intelligent. I’m only really a lover because I can’t fight. The other two must be describing my super witty alter-ego.

  26. Huh, I got cool, amazing, and strong. Pretty happy with those 🙂 Although I am like the least cool girl ever.

  27. My husband is on a mission to sneakily replace all the light switch covers in our house with animals, so this is perfect. Much better than the bear and the goose we currently have. Happy Mother’s Day Jenny!

  28. Happy Mother’s Day, my Bloggess.
    I hope your toast wasn’t too burnt this morning. Although, knowing the Lawsons as i do, I’m sure you had the mos untraditional Mother’s Day morning imaginable. Mind you, that’s a good thing.
    All the best to you and yours, Jenny.

  29. If I am the “adorable, creative lover” this word search tells me I am, someone needs to tell my husband! Happy Mother’s Day!

  30. Apparently I’m hopeful, emotional, and intelligent. I like this thing, it says nice things about me! 🙂

    That lights switch plate cover is really great, I’m very tempted to get it.

  31. sheer, loverty (old english for lovely?), and squsqach (txt speak for sasquatch). So I am a lovely, transparent, Sasquatch? Dig it. This test really gets me. Happy Woman Ninja day 🙂

  32. I saw RONGW which my brain auto-corrected into Wrong. Then SCEERF and finally WHEAR.

    And it’s all true. I was whearing the wrong clothes this morning for working in the yard and now I have to do laundry to get the scheerf off my pants.

    Your friend is right, this thing is Eerily accurate.

  33. “Cool,” “amazing,” & “fuld.” I’m pretty sure the fact that I recognized the latter as an actual word cancels out the first two.

    But basically, I’m just glad this test wasn’t a rickroll.

  34. Is titch a word? I am looking it up though I wish I was on my Kindle so I could just press and hold to find out.
    Loved The Intelevator. The boys remind me of the 2 beauties in Adore which was sick and privately sexy. Usually the best combo for fantasy. FANTASY.

  35. I scanned diagonally to the right as I do with most things in life and found “amazing, strong and funny”. But then my eyes almost immediately popped to other areas until they settled on coolwmn (obviously cool woman), lvrtypwsds (which I read as loverty power swords) and chrdktadi (which I can only assume is an unclaimed Pokemon character. I just hope it breathes fire). It’s a weird day.

  36. I saw “unreal”. If I’m writing, I’m pretty sure I’m real. Stupid word search.

  37. I found “Creative, intelligent, proud” in that order I like the first two but add in the last one and suddenly this word search makes me feel/souxnd like a little conceited. Stupid word search :p

  38. I saw cool, fuldkty (you know, “Soft kitty, fuldkty, little ball of fur…”, and spemotional. I think that means when you get really emotional and talk so fast that you start to spit on the person you’re yelling at. Spemotional.

  39. As far as Mother’s Day and those who found it sad, here’s a NatGeo article on what the day was intended to celebrate as opposed to what it became. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/05/140508-mothers-day-nation-gifts-facts-culture-moms/

    That word-search didn’t work for me. All the words are super clear at first glance so when I was sent this by a friend a few weeks ago, I just had to use the first three. That’s not helpful at all since I could have just as easily picked any three of the words that glowed off the page. Or anticipating annoying people would get a-hold of the game, they could have made the first three words: killjoy, partypooper, and brat.

  40. Amazing. Hopeful. Cheerful. I like to think the first two are accurate, but the last only applies when I’m not at work…

  41. I got “special”, “pure” and “cheerful”. This is so inaccurate!

  42. I got Pure and Full. The rest were gibberish ones, but I’m pretty sure I’d be better off with the gibberish

  43. Amazing. Hopeful. Cheeful. I like to think the first two are accurate, the last only applies when I’m not at work…

  44. I found ‘amazing’, ‘cool’, and ‘strong’ right off the bat.
    All these people finding ‘kill’ are worrying me a little.

  45. Kill, hopeful, unreal. Funny that quite a few here saw kill within what turned out to be “skillful.” My three- for a sci-fi critic, maybe?

  46. It’s a rubbish word search. The letters aren’t properly aligned so you can’t read downwards or diagonally properly. Who wants to be restricted to horizontal by a wordsearch? I hope its creators first three words were RESTRICTIVE and NO FUN.

  47. Great … My first word was similar to dwyrk, second word was kill, I didn’t even notice until I looked at it a second time that the word was supposed to skillfull. Now I feel like a pessimistic failure or this is an idiotic exercise.

  48. my first was Koi. I like fish ponds and all, but I don’t think they describe me well

  49. I found cool, brave, and cheerful. I don’t really think about these as applying to me, although I have one friend who tells me I’m brave for my battle with mental illness, but I’m always like “what else am I supposed to do? I don’t know any other way of living, so I just try to do the things I want as much as possible without letting the crazy get in the way.”

  50. Special, cheerful, proud

    This would be a lot cooler with mean words. Insults are funnier. Somebody should get on that…

  51. After eliminating the nonsense words I had: cool, kill, and creative (in that order). Should we be concerned about how many of your followers found “kill,” or is that just a sign of how awesome we all are?

  52. “pure”, “special”, “lover”. I think the screaming, bloody ghost girl would have been a bit more accurate.

  53. Give. Me. Tequila.

    You have to look really hard, but those words are there. Perhaps not arranged exactly right..but they are there

  54. I saw Ren, Proud and “Gentl”. Guy is upset I only chose one real world. But I say all are real. Gentle was just missing an e. Lol

    His words were cool, pure, and motion. Pff

  55. I read special, cheerful, funny, Looked for menopausal, angry, troll, which would most apply, but could not find. please make another word search for the almost 50’s group?

  56. Well, it’s cheaper than my therapist’s co-pay, which I can no longer afford.
    I got cool (bullshit), some other positive word that didn’t stick with me, and hopeful. Hopeful stuck with me. I don’t having anything sarcastic to say about it. Hopeful. I try every damn minute of every day. So difficult. sigh

  57. I saw kenergenic too and thought the same thing! And I think it applies to me quite well. It is definitely a word!

  58. SPEMOTION.JLLOVER. KTYPWS. Spemotion: The act of flipping someone off while passing at such a high rate of speed that they only see a blur of hand movement. J.L. Lover: a sign that I need to break out some J. Lo. and dance. KTYPWS: Obvs short hand for ZOMG LOOK AT THOSE KITTY PAWS THEY’RE SO ADORABLELAEDHAKLSHJIHERPHFKNH!!!!!!!!!

  59. Oh wow, I also got Kenergetic.

    I think that’s kind of funny because some of my favourite childhood memories involved playing with dolls until they broke, and my cousin and I had a version of badminton that made use of his decapitated head. We called it Kenminton. It was a fantastic way to burn up all that extra kid kenergy.

  60. I got FULL which is exactly how I feel due to a
    Eating a ridiculous brunch. I’m too tired to look for anything else.

  61. This ‘word search’ popped up on my Facebook feed a few weeks ago. The first three words I saw were amazing, full, and kill. I thought it was funny. None of my friends did. I think I need new ones.

  62. What’s really weird is that the first word I found was ‘Jen’.

  63. @Mel (up at #83): “Kenminton” just KILLS me!!!

    I got Amazing, Cool, Cheerful. Also, the Intelevator was great!! Those guys are really funny!

    Happy Mother’s Day, fellow tribe members!!!! (no matter if your kids are 2 or 4-legged)

  64. “Amazing”, “Cool” and “Strong” were my results…Maybe I need to muzzle the nasty voice in my head saying “no way”, and just accept the nice karma….

  65. I’m sad about my mom being gone and then the word search yields “emotional” as the first word I see. Fucking. shit. Seems a bit judgmental. I’m not allowed to throw a little bit of a pity party today?

  66. Spemotional – True. As in I spazz out when I get emotional.
    Hearty – seems complementary only for a guy who laughs a lot, so f- you, word search.
    Killful – not in the best of moods, but that’s a little exaggerated. Stupid puzzle. I like Sudoku much better than word searches.

  67. Ooh that book chapped my hide! How can you write a book about dead bodies, include a section on anthropology and cannibalism, and LEAVE OUT kuru???

  68. The first word I saw was “Jen” in the second to last line, and since that’s my name (also), I just stopped there. I mean, what other words really matter?

    Happy Mother’s Day, Jenny!

  69. Skillful creative lover….if that was true why have i not had sex in a year!?!?

  70. So…I got “emotional”, “kill”, and “creative”. So…we can chalk that up to PMS, right?

  71. Oh, good! So we’re all writing down our three words. I was worried that if I came here to write mine I’d be somehow interrupting a thread of comments about anything else. I got pure, proud and emotional. I’m not sure how you can be “pure,” but the others sound about right. Is it me being very clean? I’m not. Definitely not in a “clean thoughts” kind of way either. I’m not made out of a single element. I’m not purely any one thing, either. What kind of word is that to describe someone?

  72. I totally saw kenergetic too, before I saw that you saw it. I hate these things, I usually think I see a word but then when I study it, I realize I was just making up words that aren’t really there.

  73. “I’m always convinced these things are gifs that will turn into a screaming, bloody ghost-girl as soon as I lean in and focus.” THAT. Every damn time.

  74. I got “Special”, “Proud”, and “Intelligent”. Seems pretty accurate to me……..

  75. Pure, proud, lover. Pure? Ha.

    I always check if images are secret gifs if I am the least bit suspicious.

  76. So is kenergy the energy boost you get from knowing that you’re made of durable plastic and lack genitalia?

  77. So I was just staring at the thing trying to find all the words and guess what’s in there that no one’s found yet? The word “unreal”. I’m not even kidding guys. What is this thing trying to tell people? That they don’t exist? What kind of word search is this?

  78. Haha I totally misread and started scanning along the top line left to right. Immediately I saw ‘KOI’ and was like… “I’m a big fancy goldfish???”

    When I realised my mistake I didn’t get ‘bad at following directions’ which would have been the correct answer. I got ‘MOTION’, which is a complete lie because I hate exercise and love naps.

  79. I found ADORABLE, INTELLIGENT, FUNNY, PROUD, COOL, SPECIAL… because apparently I’m an overachiever. Then I got stuck on USKILLFUL which I couldn’t stop trying to make USEFUL out of… and my brain started to hurt.

  80. I always think those email things are going to have creepy ghost girls too! I refuse to stare at anything on the internet because I just know something is going to pop out and scare the crap out of me.

  81. Hi Jenny, I just wanted to say I listened to your book while doing my 1.5 hour commute to work and found myself laughing out loud and also seeing I am not alone when it comes to crazy shit that happens to me all the time. I felt like we had alot in common. I enjoyed your book very much! You have inspired me to start a blog as soon as I can figure out how to! lol

  82. The first test results were inconclusive, so I ran the experiment again and saw intelligent, hopeful and creative. I may be biased.

  83. STRONG – EMOTIONAL – KILL

    Should I be worried? It did take me a minute to realize that “kill” was part of “skillful”. What does it say about me that i only focused in on “KILL”?

  84. I found “Kill” as my 2nd word. I feel like a Basilisk traveling through the Hogwarts pipes…

  85. Intelligent. Cheerful and Special (competing with Unreal – so I am not sure it is a good thing, or maybe it is)…

  86. I love that your suggestion was the book “Stiff.” I borrowed it from my Dad as he was dying. He was quite adamant that I was to return that book to him. It was part of his library and I was darn well expected to bring it back. He died within 3 weeks before I read it, so I put it in his arms at the funeral home because I wasn’t going to get in trouble for not bringing the book back!!! I have no idea what anyone thought nor did I care. Dad would have gotten a chuckle out of it. My brother and I also stood around him and chanted “Light as a feather! Lighter than air.” Dad failed to levitate.

  87. The first word I found was “kill”. So does that mean I have permission and can use this in my defense?

  88. I like this!!! Because I saw Cheerful, Pure and Intelligent! And i did not even cheat!!!!!

  89. Emotional, Adorable, Intelligent. This thing clearly has no idea who I am. It should’ve been Psychotic, Unreasonable, Cranky. Or something similar.

  90. I got JJ (like JJ Walker, maybe) then SAM (Beckett, from Quantum Leap, or Malone, from Cheers?) and then ZING!

    P.S. I think these refs are making me seem much older than I am. I was not old enough to watch Good Times!

  91. I saw amazing, cool, special (not super insightful, if you ask me…) :o)

  92. Adorable heart energetic? Not only am I none of those things, those might be the three things in the world that piss me off more than anything. I mean what’s adorable? It’s ridiculous that’s what who has time for it? Heart? Mines good for two things, pumping blood and reminding me I’m too old to do energetic shit, and it’s only really good at the second one of those things. That I’m this irritated by a word search game just goes to show how adorable and heart I am and I want to make clear the only reason I had the energy to play along is because I’m too lazy to do the real work I’m supposed to be doing right now. Luckily I really like your writing style and posts in general and am too lazy to write something negative about phoning it in. Maybe I’d even have complained in form of a word search… Ah screw it.

    The first three words you see describes that word search:

    holyshitwhatawasteoftimesnuffelupagusasparagus
    cherrysodafuckyouwordsearcheatshitanddieabcde
    fgwowthisiskindafunnofuckthatimstillpissedoffqrrrss
    butnowthatithinkofitikindaseewhysomeonemightwan
    ttodooneofthesehereletstrysomethingyouaregetting
    sleepynowgointothecuppardandsteelalltheramansll
    muhahahahamyevilplanisalmostcompleteabcdefgh

  93. Intelligent. Cheerful. Funny. Was pretty or attractive anywhere in there?

  94. “kill”, “unreal”, “wus” — not sure who would fake being a wus, and risk getting killed for it, but there ya have it.

  95. I found “amazing” “cool” and “special”, which is pretty much the opposite of my opinion of myself.

    I love Mary Roach’s work. I’ve read “Stiff” and “Packing for Mars” among other works of hers, and they’re all good. I can’t recommend them enough for people interested in science.

  96. Ummm, I saw cheerful and “killful”?! I’m killful??? (Can this be used in court?!)

  97. Nope. One of my words was “pure”… can’t say I agree with that one if I’m being totally honest.

  98. Cheerful, creative, strong. Hmmm, well 0 out of three is….poor

  99. Uhoh. I got Adorable, Cheerful… and Killful.

    Now I fear the future.

  100. Cool, Dora, and intelligent. All that makes me think of is Dora the Explorer. Is that even still on?

  101. No but actually, are there real words in there? Because I literally have spent 20 minutes and I can’t find anything except DKPY because for some reason my brain thinks that is a word….

  102. Jenny, you can totally celebrate Ninja Day. The problem is celebrating it at the right time, because only ninjas know when it is, and I could tell you, but then I’d have to k[DEATH BY NINJA]

  103. “Intelligent,” “emotional,” “lover.” … I don’t trust this thing.

  104. First thing I saw was “killful,” and I stopped right there. I didn’t want to know any more.

  105. I saw Adorable, Kill, and Cheerful. In that order. I’m not sure what that means…

  106. This is the second time in so many days your posts have made me bust out laughing in my office like a mental patient… 🙂

  107. Late to the game. “Cheerful, Lover, Intelligent, Creative.” Which tells me I’ll happily take on a lover as long as I can be smart enough to tell creative, yet believable, lies.
    Challenge Accepted! … at least in coming up with believable lies and feeling smug about it.

  108. I found ‘cheer’ ‘special’ and ‘intelligent’ so I’m hoping that’s what’s going to happen in the future as I’m not so sure it’s the right words to describe me currently. Love your perspective!

  109. I saw “SPEMOTIONAL”. Then realised it wasn’t a word. Then thought maybe it’s just a shortened version of ‘super’ and ’emotional’ just squished together to conserve letters. I’m going with that

  110. I saw Cool, Hearty, and Proud. I don’t think this works. I mean, sure I’m really cool, and I just ate a hearty salad (it had nuts and crasins and stuff), but I’m totally not getting proud.

  111. Totally saw ‘kenergetic’first and thought that was kinetic mixed with energetic. Then I kept reading and saw you thought the same thing. Awesome.

  112. I saw “cool,” “special,” and “cheerful.” Because I read from left to right and up to down like a normal English speaker. The cheerful was because I realized what I was doing and wanted a more random result. So other than uncovering my vague neurosis about not being spontaneous enough this test is less accurate than a horoscope.

  113. I doubt you will see this because I am only now catching up, but I LOVED reading Stiff. It goes into details about how bodies react when you die and what you can do to a body after it has been donated for Science! and other various activities. It also goes into impressive detail about crash test cadavers and a cadaver farm that is somewhere in California (I think) where they just leave bodies out to decompose for research on how they react to elements.

    I hope you do get to read it! If not, I can send you my copy.

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