UPDATED: My belly button has popped out and I’m not pregnant. Is this normal or am I dying? Seriously.

UPDATED BELOW…

So, this is a weird post and you should skip it if you’re easily grossed out.

Still here?  Awesome.  You are my kind of people.  The kind that can’t look away from grossness.  Let’s go watch horror movies together.  But not today because I think I might be dying.

I’m probably not dying, but that’s where my mind goes first because I’m me.  Here’s the deal:  A year ago my belly button was quiet and unassuming and frankly I did not appreciate it because the best belly buttons are the ones that just don’t really exist.  They less the exist, the better the are.  Unless you’re missing one altogether.  That’s weird.  Not that I’m judging.  Anymore.  Mostly because my belly button just got weird too.

Last year I had my gallbladder removed through my belly button and it went back to normal except for a small scar, but then a few months ago it started to turn into an outie, which I didn’t mind but it seemed odd because my belly button had always been cavernously internal even when I was enormously pregnant.  Then I started getting sharp stomach pains off and on and I thought it was appendicitis but it kept going away so I ignored it, but last night I had my hand on my stomach in bed and I laughed because someone on tv hurt themselves in a funny way and then I noticed that my belly button popped out an inch like a tiny, angry alien.  Then it went back to being normal but every time I laugh or cough it pops out like a Jack-in-the-Box made of flesh.

I made a video but I don’t think I want that floating around the internet.  It’s like having a sex tape, but grosser and less lucrative.  Then people would always associate me with having a gross belly button, or even worse, someone else would claim that it’s their belly button and it would go viral and then Victor would yell at me for not watermarking a video of my belly button volcano.  But I’ll show you pictures because that’s what the internet is for.

Before laughing.  After laughing.  Also, the picture quality is shitty but in my defense it's really difficult to take a selfie of your own belly button.

Before laughing. After laughing. Also, the picture quality is shitty but in my defense it’s really difficult to take a selfie of your own belly button.

It might be a good party trick if everyone was drunk enough because after it pops out it looks a little like a Who down in Whoville.

Maybe this is how Who's are made.  All I need are googly-eyes and some stick-on hair.

Maybe this is how Who’s are made? All I need are googly-eyes and some stick-on hair.

So now I don’t know if I’m dying or if I just have a really talented belly button.  Like maybe I just got double-jointed, IN MY BELLY BUTTON.  Or it’s a tumor.  I prefer to just have faith in the talent of my belly button but Victor says I have to go to the doctor because I think he’s jealous his belly button can’t do that.

According to WebMD I’m probably somewhere between “fine” or “already dead”, but most likely it’s a hernia.  My mom had one when she was my age but  then when the surgeon went in he found and removed a (non-cancerous) tumor the size of a cantaloupe, and the upside to that is that it’s like getting a tummy tuck and people feel sorry for you at the same time.  So this is why I’m finally calling the doctor this morning.  It’s also why I don’t eat a lot of cantaloupe.

I’m writing this because if I write it out then things will be fine.  Who ever writes that they have to get their talented belly button checked out and then later finds out they have belly button cancer?  My guess is that the numbers are small.  I’m not even sure belly button cancer is a real thing, but now that I consider it, that’s totally the sort of dumb-ass thing I’d end up getting.

Also, I’d like to apologize for this whole post.  Blogging is already incredibly narcissist, but I just realized that I spent this whole post literally navel-gazing.  And asking you to gaze at my navel.  Wow.  I think I might need help and not just for the tiny alien living in my belly button.

Going to the doctor now.  Wish me luck.

 

UPDATE:   You guys are not going to believe this, but I have a hernia. (Hat-tip to the 8,000 of you who guessed this immediately.) Apparently my body is trying to forcibly flee from my own body, which is sort of insulting. I guess my intestines saw how easy it was for my gallbladder to escape through my belly button and then they were like, “WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION” and now they’re trying to tunnel out like angry inmates. I don’t blame them though. This body is a sinking ship.

My doctor looked at my stomach and said it was probably a hernia but to be sure she asked me to do a sit-up and that brought The-Who-Down-in-Whoville to the surface and she yelled, “Oh my God. DON’T DO ANYMORE SIT-UPS” and I was like, “I want that on a doctor’s note right now.” Then I can just pin the note to my chest whenever I have to sit next to really thin people who I always assume are judging me. I asked if the hernia was super bad but she said that if I’m careful it should be fine until they can get me in for surgery, but that if it gets worse my intestines could become “incarcerated,” and that “incarceration greatly increases the risk of strangulation,” and I agreed but I don’t think we were talking about the same thing.

Then my sister texted me: “Sooo, belly button cancer. That’s a new one, but if it’s going to happen to someone it would be you” and I explained that it was a belly button hernia and she texted back : “There was a kid at daycare with a belly button hernia. His parents taped a quarter over it and they were certain it would work. It was like they were paying his intestines to stay inside.” Then I asked Victor for a quarter and he said he only had two dimes and I was like “That’s not enough to keep my intestines in” and then he made me stop taking anecdotal medical advice from my sister.

Honestly, it’s like he’s just begging for strangulation.

378 replies. read them below or add one

  1. OK, firstly? The Whos comparison is genius. And hysterical. And disturbing.
    Secondly: I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who automatically assumes anything other than a head cold is cancer.

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    Daddy Scratches recently posted I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again.

  2. Umbilical hernia? Not uncommon. Might get it checked. They’re not really dangerous.

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  3. Edited to add, because I know people will ask: No, I’m not pregnant. I am 15 pounds overweight but I’m actually about 40 pounds less than I was last year so I don’t think it’s a weight thing. It might be a silent twin. Hard to tell.

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  4. The same thing happened to my daughter. It’s a hernia, she had to have an operation to get it back to how it did before.

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    Karen Birney recently posted Garden Decoration Ideas.

  5. I love you for your navel-gazing.

    Also, your maiden name isn’t Ripley, by chance?

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    oldsillybear recently posted Stella!.

  6. 8
    kittlesfamilyartworks2012

    Good luck!

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  7. 9
    Beth Ramsey

    Hernia!

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  8. It’s like the Frogman’s hole but backwards!🙂

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  9. I’m guessing hernia as well, not cancer.

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  10. This is exactly what the internet was invented for. To get medical advice from complete strangers. Here is mine…. Go to the Dr. It’s a hernia.

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  11. its a hernia🙂 happens after surgery that way. You can get them revoked. personally I like to stick googly eyes on mine to make my kids laugh.

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  12. You are just more talented than the rest of us IN EVERY WAY. Thanks a lot. Now I have to go to the restroom and work and see what my belly button does when I laugh. And that is going to raise some eyebrows if I forget to check the other stalls before I start laughing in my stall…

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  13. sigh let me try that again – I meant to say: I am kinda jealous of your Who-button!

    Good luck!

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  14. awww, what an adorable little umbilical hernia

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  15. Umbilical hernia. I had one of those and it’s like any regular hernia. You should get it checked out. Mine was from pregnancy and had to be fixed.

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  16. I really think that is a hernia and you should get it checked out by a doctor. Good luck!

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  17. If you push the button what happens?? I’ve got my money on that its a confetti and glitter reservoir of awesomeness.

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    Jane Ryan recently posted Pop Culture Honors.

  18. *at work

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  19. KUATO!

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  20. Perhaps check if you have a split in your abdominals? Diastasis Recti is the proper name that you can look up to find how to check. It’s very easy to check and very common.

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  21. On the plus side, it’s probably easier to clean.

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  22. my first gut reaction was hernia. hope it turns out well🙂

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  23. The navel-gazing makes this the most meta blog post possible, and therefore delightful. And also seeing the doctor is the right thing to do. Good luck!

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    Tragic Sandwich recently posted 45 Good Things: What I Learned.

  24. At least you (and everybody else) know your belly button isn’t full of lint.

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    Shelley J recently posted They should put a common sense section on the SAT..

  25. Good luck!

    Also my co-worker & I have a game we call not a stroke – which means we if both smell the weird thing, then we both can’t be having a stroke.

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  26. At least the navel-gazing was entertaining!

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    Janice recently posted Has this ever happened to you?.

  27. Yeah I too was going to say Umbilical Hernia, not usually serious but worth having it looked at! Don’t be a procrastinator! Visit the doctor!😀

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  28. I shudder to imagine the search results that lead folks to this post. Good luck at the doctor!

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  29. Might be a Hernia?

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  30. I would say a hernia, a rather cool one at that. If you are going to have a hernia it should at least be interesting.

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  31. That could be a hernia, you’re gonna wanna get it checked out.

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  32. 34
    madameamrose

    I still remember being at a friend’s house when her dad’s bellybutton ripped open. It was one of the most disturbing moments of my young life. See? Upside. Your belly button’s still intact.

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  33. I’m going with hernia.

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  34. It’s always been jealous of that extra nipple you had. Perhaps it’s trying to compete.

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  35. Hugs, dearest Jenny! You’re always beautiful, even with an aroused belly button.

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  36. No it’s just that your belly button is now more efficient at clearing out lint. Kind of like a cat clearing a hair ball.

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  37. Sounds like an umbilical hernia. Not usually too troublesome. My hubby had to have his fixed because it stopped popping back in. Now he has no belly button, which is just a fun way to mess with kids.

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  38. LMAO! Let us know what the DR says!

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  39. 41
    traceyb65

    don’t worry, my doctor once thought i had little toe cancer … i kid you not! I’m thinking umbilical hernia, something probably didn’t heal properly when you had your gallbladder removed (HEY there gallbladderless sistah!). good luck! xt

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  40. 42
    That Melanie Girl

    Definitely an umbilical hernia. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I’ve had one before. NOT cancer! They do a quick procedure to turn you back into an innie and it likely won’t happen again. It didn’t even hurt.🙂

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  41. My first thought (before I got to the pictures) was that you’re incubating an alien, like in the movie. Now the question is will it be a cute alien that sings and dances, or the nasty one that kills everybody. Bonus points if you got the Spaceballs reference.

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  42. Hope things go well. I am going to the mirror and spend some time castigating my decidedly untalented belly button.

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  43. 45
    Marianne van Dijk

    Athough little aliens living in your belly button sounds more fun, it seems to me to be an umbilical hernia (wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umbilical_hernia).

    And hahaha: http://www.teampwnicorn.com/webmd-the-leading-cause-of-cancer/

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  44. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV, but that sound totally like a hernia. Which in general won’t be a cause of death.

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  45. I can’t help but love you.

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  46. Please go to the doctor. It’s likely an umbilical hernia. Not particularly dangerous unless they’re HUGE (then that can cause intestines to get stuck and that’ll hurt and eventually lead to necrotic bowel…. although you’d be screaming in pain by that point and likely already admitted to a hospital). Pretty easy to fix too with a little surgery.

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  47. 49
    Elizabeth

    Your silent twin is a Who?!

    (He goes by “The Doctor.” ~ Jenny)

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  48. Good luck! If you give birth to a tiny alien you should name it Doctor Who🙂

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  49. I’m going with hernia.
    But if it’s an alien I hope you come up with an awesome name and keep it as a pet.

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  50. You need to put the vandal eyes on your belly button so you can totally entertain the doctor. And by “entertain”, I mean scare the crap outta the doctor. Fun for all.

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  51. It’s totally a hernia. When you have things that are moved around inside, it’s an unfortunate by-product. I did some marketing work for a “hernia-specialist” (I can’t even believe there is such a thing!), and I learned all sorts of interesting and simultaneously gross things.
    Still, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is not a tumor or a silent twin (’cause really? As interesting as that’d be, I feel like you don’t need another person’s issues to deal with in your belly).

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  52. Mine did the same thing – umbilical hernia – very easy surgical fix.

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  53. I have had a slight umbilical hernia and my belly button turned a weird purple bruise color and went slightly outie before popping back. I relaxed and it went back in and I was ok. You are most likely ok, and may be your stomach muscles were weakened by the surgery, so your internal organs are popping out to say hello. Doctor will determine if you need surgery or just need to relax, but of all the health things you have been through, I can at least assure you this is most likely a harmless, slightly gross occurrence and not much more.

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  54. My niece had a hernia as a small child. Her belly button looked just like that. Once it was removed it went back to being a regular looking innie.

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    Rachael recently posted Family Night - One Hot Mess.

  55. Maybe your surgeon is an alien himself and impregnated you?!?

    I agree with Sarah about it possibly being an umbilical hernia. It’s somewhat common, especially if you had surgery in the area, so the abdominal wall is weakened in that spot.

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  56. It’s your evil twin. It wants it’s 15 minutes of fame.

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  57. Potential hernia. See a doc.

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  58. No big. It’s an umbilical hernia, I’m betting. It’s a pretty easy surgery, comparatively. I’ve had one done before. The mesh has worn out in mine so I’m going to have to get it redone, but they have new meshes now that are supposed to last longer.

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  59. 61
    Rebekah Mae

    My guess… Embillical hernia. Perhaps a trip to the doctor should be in order.

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  60. Totally an umbilical hernia, luv. Looks like they didn’t stitch your stitches tight enough after your surgery and you fell apart.😉 Unfortunately, nothing as exciting as an absorbed twin or a belly button lava eruption.🙂

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    Mel Henry recently posted Caveat Emptor - Ticket version.

  61. It could either be a hernia (easy enough fix) or it could be an after effect of last year’s surgery. The surgery might have weakened the walls/whatever keeps the belly button hole tight. Or something.

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  62. 64
    Ethel Mertz

    You’re very wise to get it checked. (am I the first person to ever call you wise? And not in the context of “cracking wise” ?) Because you’re brilliant.

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  63. #1 – I do see the Whoville reference. Very cute, in fact. You have a cute, Whoville outie.

    #2 – I am a medical professional & what I’m seeing from your pics is an umbilical hernia. It’s not life threatening at this time, but since you have been having abdominal pain, PLEASE go see your MD ASAP…as in today. Be prepared, that you will probably have another surgery in your future – they will reinforce that area (possibly using mesh) and make sure the intestines don’t pop out again. It sucks, but there are good drugs…lots of good drugs.

    #3 – Don’t post the video…the pics are fine. DO post a video of yourself on the good drugs though because those are funny as hell!

    HUGS!!! Love ya!!! Now, stop reading the internet & go call your MD. Say you are dying and must be seen NOW!🙂

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    C. Lee aka The Urban Chicken Keeper recently posted Hey, I Like your Crib!.

  64. 66
    Laura Kennedy

    LUCK!
    (I’m starting a pool. 20 bucks says hernia. Who’s in?)

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  65. So even your belly button is a fan of Who…just not the Tardis kind. I’m positive it’s nothing to worry about and the doc will say “cool, alien belly button!” And go about fixing it.

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    Jess @NoPithyPhrase recently posted My Husband: The Great Sith Hunter...and other random weird..

  66. Sounds like it might be a hernia. My Aunt the nurse says it is not uncommon after your gall bladder procedure.

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  67. It’s a hernia. My friend just had hers fixed with a stitch or two. Good thing it’s not on your forehead…

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    susielindau recently posted Two Jews and a Blonde or Partying in Downtown Los Angeles.

  68. IANAD, but this looks suspiciously like a umbilical hernia (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/umbilical-hernia/basics/symptoms/con-20025630). See a doc for eval!

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  69. 71
    h. Miller

    Okay saw the photos and all I could thing of was this…https://vine.co/v/hF50vetqWEA (totally sfw)
    Sorry.

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  70. 72
    Don A in Pennsyltucky

    A friend had the same procedure and experienced something similar. What many people don’t understand is that although the scar is tiny, they need to get through several layers of abdominal muscles to get to the good stuff underneath. This a good thing because those muscles keep us from looking like tadpoles turning into frogs with their newly reorganized intestines hanging loose where cow-knows-WHO can see them. They also pump your abdominal cavity full of CO2 so they have more room to move their tools around inside you and that stretches those muscles, too. Yours didn’t grow back together quite as well as they could have. If so, there is a chance that when things poke outward, they could get caught by the muscles closing the hole behind them but since you have to push a bit to get it to open that doesn’t seem likely. So, I can relax and go back to knowing that you’ll probably outlive me and I’ll have the privilege of reading your work for as long as I live.

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  71. I loathe my belly button. It used to just ‘be’ there, then after two pregnancies it isn’t. It is just a flat, stretched out nothing. I never fully appreciated it when I had it. Sigh.

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  72. Until I watched Horton Hears a Who I had no idea that Whos were so small. They could have taken up residence in the dust bunnies in your belly button and you wouldn’t have even known it. Then again, it would be a good idea to go get it checked out in case it is a tumor the size of a cantaloupe. Or a watermelon. This would be the best weight-loss surgery ever. People would feel sorry for you without judging you AND you’ve lost ten or so pounds. Winning!

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  73. If it’s not a cancerous bastard of a tumor will you please add eyes and hair to it and take more pictures and video? You don’t have to post it publicly. Just email it to me. Navel-gazing is my new favorite word/thing to do.

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  74. Yes, I’m guessing you have a little hernia going on either from an existing umbilical hernia that was further weakened from your lap chole or you have an incisional hernia. It is worth inquiring a doctor about.

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  75. Good luck! Also, most likely hernia. Also, could be diastasis recti. Latin name for something not AT ALL scary. Just a separation in the up and down abdominal muscles. You can even check for this yourself! The self test is a lot like laying on your back and laughing, (slightly contracting your ab muscles by just raising your head off the floor). Only, this time, use a couple fingers to poke back at the area just above, at, and below your belly button. If you feel a dip, then you know you have a separation. I know all this because 3 ginormous babies, itty-bitty living space.

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  76. If you put a wig on your Who-button, does it need to match your merkin?

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  77. Hernia……when they fix it tell everyone you had a belly button lift….that the rest of you was perfect and didn’t need it!

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  78. 80
    I. W. O. A.

    It is awesome and horrific at the same time. Good luck!

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  79. Pretty sure this just means it’s time to baste you and let you rest.

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  80. My daughter had a hernia just there. She didn’t have surgery, she wore a band for two months. Hope your fix is just as easy!

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  81. I always assume the worst, then feel silly afterwards. Husband was dizzy…so I assumed brain tumor. As opposed to ear infection and dehydration, which is what it turned out to be.You’re not alone!

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  82. it might be a keloid. my husband gets them anywhere he has had a deep cut or incision. It is your immune system going nuts on your skin. see a dermatologist, preferably one who had heard of keloids. apparently if your are white and have them then you have some Russian heritage. 🙂

    Like

  83. umbilical hernia, girl… unless it bugs you/causes you pain you can keep your skin volcano. I call mine my ‘belly nose’ b/c it is right above my belly button BUT.ALWAYS.FREAKING.THERE. Looks great in a bathing suit. Ha ha ha…

    OR – you have a new friend and you can name it Herman.

    Like

  84. My belly button looked crazy after 2 kids. It was an intestinal hernia. I ended up having to have it fixed.

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    Loida recently posted Changing Blogs, Trying to Eat Healthy, Injuries of an Old Woman and Misc Musings.

  85. Our munchkin had a severely incarcerated umbilical hernia that required surgery. We used to be able to simply pop it back in with our thumbs but it finally got too bad they had to go in and fix it. She has a lovely belly button now.

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  86. My ear cancer and I hope your cantaloupe doesn’t exist. Also thank you for making me laugh and be grossed out simultaneously. And not-thank you for making me think endlessly about my belly button for all eternity.

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  87. Who’s yer bellybutton? Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    That’s just weird.

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    Teri recently posted I Just Want to Be Alone....

  88. I’ve had the surgeries over the years where they cut a hole in my belly button, so mine is almost entirely scar tissue. Your issue might have something to do with scar tissue too. Scar tissue is weird stuff, and it can cause pain if it’s in your abdomen. In fact, my third surgery was a surgery to remove excess scar tissue from the other two surgeries, which is kind of ironic and seems like it might not work but it did. Best if luck to you and your alien belly button from me and my scarry belly button.

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  89. Be well, Jenny! Sending good juju your way!

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  90. Your version of navel-gazing strikes a universal chord. Keep us posted and write on!

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  91. My daughter had a herniated belly button when she was little, and it looked EXACTLY like that. I used to laugh at it, which isn’t as mean as it sounds. When she got really mad, she’d arch her back and scream and BAM, the little alien (as you call it) would pop out. It was probably the cosmos providing comic relief so I could tolerate her tantrums. Anyway, she outgrew it when she was about 10; she’s 15 now, and I don’t see any sign of it returning. I’ll probably double check tonight, though, just to be sure. Good luck🙂

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  92. It’s your parasitic twin making a break for freedom. It only happens when you laugh because it doesn’t want you to be happy

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  93. My grandmother didn’t have a belly button. She had to have abdominal surgery back when they sliced you wide open for any small thing, and when the sewed her up they didn’t bother with leaving her a belly button. If it is a hernia, ask them to take yours out and then you can wear bikini’s and freak people out! Tell them you’re just a ganger so no need for a belly button.

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  94. 96
    Terri in SF

    Had my gall bladder out the same way a few years ago. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who laughed/coughed while examining my belly button after reading this…right? I’m sure you’ll be fine and I demand a follow up telling us so. ::hugs::

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  95. Navel-gazing! Awesome post. I’m so fascinated by our horrible, horrible bodies! It’s like your own personal whack-a-mole. I am also crossing my fingers for a silent twin.

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    Liz recently posted Zoe vs. the Alarm Clock.

  96. I have worked with children most of my adult life and have, on more than one occasion, seen umbilical hernias so bad that their little belly buttons actually looked like tiny elephant trunks. Yours isn’t so bad in comparison.

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  97. I had the same surgery years ago and I’m proudly alien-free. I think it is a hernia. You’ll be fine. Or the mother of an angry little alien.

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  98. My daughter had that when she was little and it was a hernia. Good luck!

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  99. 101
    mommydoc

    Given your surgical history, it’s likely an incisional hernia. The fascia (connective tissue) that sheathes your abdominal muscles that they went through to place the scope opened again. In this case, it will behave and be repaired just like an umbilical hernia (which is congenital) and they are likely to repair it with a piece of mesh. You should be seen soon, and it would be reasonable to go directly to the surgeon who did your gall bladder, unless your insurance requires that you see your PCP first. As long as the bump goes back down on its own or you can push it back in, it’s not an emergency, but if you can’t push it in, please go directly to the ER. There’s a reasonable possibility that it will continue to progress, so I’d try to get in in the next week or so.

    It’s not at all likely to be a tumor, as it is exactly where they would have placed the scope and removed the gall bladder. I know stuff; I’m a board-certified OBGYN, so this is a fairly informed opinion. By the way, loved your book (laughed out loud in some inopportune public places while reading it) and have enjoyed reading your blog. Good luck and try not to worry too much. In the grand scheme of things, the repair will be much less involved than your gall bladder.

    Feel free to email me if you’re totally freaked out. I’ll give you my phone number.

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  100. 102
    Kay Simpson

    Look at that! Is there no end to your talent?

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  101. Sounds like a hernia. Also, entertaining. Also, go to the damn doctor and get the bonus tummy tuck. Not that you need one. Just that I want one. Vicarious living and all that.

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  102. Can you imagine how strange THAT would have looked with a belly piercing? I don’t have one – I’m a wimp – but my niece does. And sometimes I think the thing that annoyed her the most about pregnancy was that she had to take out her jewelry for a couple of months. Well, that and how the neighbors weirded out when she did yard work in a bikini. (What else are you going to wear when it’s 90 degrees and 90% humidity!?)

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  103. 105
    JenniferReynolds

    Jenny, hate to disappoint, and I’m quite sure your belly button is very talented, but my nurse brain says that is probably an umbilical hernia. You should get it looked at and certainly be sure to tell the doctor of your belly button,s fame!

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  104. I have an outie, looks like you have joined the club. Sort of.

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    hibernationnow.wordpress.com recently posted My Fibro Fantasy, Rated X.

  105. Wishing you well Jenny. x My other half had an umbilical hernia operated on late last year [minor surgery, day case]. It wasn’t until I read his release notes from the hospital that we learned they’d gone in and fixed ‘things/stuff/whatever’s in there’ through his actual belly button [his ‘bulgy bit’ was higher up than yours so we assumed they’d have to cut higher].

    Anyway … it was enlightening to read that he’d had what they termed ‘an umbilical reconstruction’ …. which – in real terms seems to have been something akin to a fleshy form of origami. I watched with the baited breath the day he could finally remove the bandages and we’d finally get to see his all new navel! It was like a slightly low key version of the big reveals on something like The Swan / Extreme Makeover …

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  106. Hahaha! It DOES look like a Whoville person! Hey, at least your belly button looks nice and clean. Good luck! Keep us posted!

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    momfeld recently posted Soft Skin is for Woosies.

  107. Good luck Jenny!

    As adorable as it looks I hope it’s absolutely benign.

    Like

    Miss Gee recently posted You Call It Clumsy I Call It A Poorly Contained Force Of Nature.Naturally, I Win..

  108. Umbilical hernia. I have one (I was born with it, and it never healed, which it often does when folks are born with them) and I am working hard to ensure it doesn’t pop out like yours has, because I am pregnant (29 weeks) and I really, really, really don’t want to split my abs down the middle and potentially have to deliver my daughter pre-term. You should definitely get thee to a doctor, though, because if it’s poking out, it’s because something potentially important is poking out through a hole in your abdominal muscles, and it could cause an intestinal blockage.

    Like

  109. Another vote for hernia..

    Like

  110. Can we start taking medical bets on what it is? I’ve got $10 down on hernia. Any takers?

    Like

  111. It might be some leftover puss that’s super old and ready to get out of your skin. Good luck at the doctor!

    Like

    Rachel L. Karp recently posted Wildwood: A Hipster Series All Can Enjoy.

  112. Totally a hernia, and something that’s a quick fix. Saw it happen to a friend after gall bladder surgery. Take the opportunity to watch lots of wonderfully bad television while you recover!

    Like

  113. 115
    John Kirkpatrick

    It’s not a hernia. Geeze, what’s wrong with you people?
    A wizard cast a unicorn spell on you, but was drunk & flubbed it.
    It happens.

    Like

  114. I swear, it’s like you are channeling me. I do the exact same thing.
    Seriously, good luck at the doctor. I am confident it will turn out to be a hernia. Funny how I can be logical with other people’s stuff but not my own. Are you like that?
    xo

    Like

  115. 117
    wombatcentral

    I think you need to get a tattoo on the outy part that, when it popped out, would read, “Knock knock, mother fucker.”

    Totally LOL at the Who comparison as well.

    Like

  116. Silent twin! But also, hernia. Good luck and we love you.

    Like

    julie recently posted This week (5/18/14).

  117. It’s almost definitely a silent twin.

    Side note: a friend of mine had a hernia and was super excited because they told her that, yes, when you have surgery for the hernia, they can also do a tummy tuck at the same time. So, you know, silver linings.

    Like

    Eve I ate your damn Apple recently posted 20 Things I Never Said Before I Had Sons.

  118. Wow, good luck with that belly bowl (my husband gives me weird looks when I call it that, but seriously, most of them are bowl-shaped. Like, duh) issue. It does kind of sound like a hernia, you know, like when dogs get them. You’re just unique. You get to go to the doctor for the neat problems. I just get to go because a rabid horse bit me. She’s not really rabid, she just has anger issues, which are not fair, because I was trying feed her not, steal her food, but it was all a huge misunderstanding. Anyway, belly bowl. Have you considered starting a traveling carnival with others who might have the same talent?

    Like

  119. good luck, from everyone’s comments it sounds like you definitely are not going to die from this. I have to tell you that the last part about blogging being narcissistic and naval gazing etc – that was better than the picture of McCauley Culkin wearing a tshirt with a picture of Ryan Gosling wearing a tshirt with a picture of McCauley Culkin.

    Like

  120. Yep, your dieing. In other news, how do you spell dying?

    Like

  121. I’m begging you to go to the craft store and buy some fake hair and googly eyes. BEGGING! You say it pops out when you laugh or cough, what about when you poop, just wondering, I’m not a doctor, I just play one in the blogging world. I hope it’s not a Hyena (what me and my BFF call hernias). Good luck.

    Like

  122. Umbilical Hernia🙂 don’t worry easy surgery

    Like

  123. My daughters belly button kinda does that too. Except hers is an outie to begin with, but it just really pops out when she’s angry. Pretty sure it’s just because she’s 18 months old and so chubby her belly button doesn’t have anywhere to go but out. And so this is completely different and unhelpful. Oh well. I think it’s a good thing you’re seeing a doctor – even though there’s always a chance they’ll lock you up and do weird experiments on your freakish navel. But that wouldn’t be all bad because that would probably mean enough material for another book. Win-win.

    Like

  124. Oh my! I don’t think you are dying but what if some placed a tracking bug inside your belly button, just like Neo in the Matrix. Maybe we should all wonder if your some secret service agent.

    Like

  125. You are responsible for me shooting liquid through my nose for the second time today. Oddly (and not really so odd), your (non) chapter on doing drugs badly was responsible for the first time. So, thanks for the double-nose-douche. And the side pain from laughing so hard twice in one day.

    And I’m praying that everyone is right… that your alien belly button is a hernia and can be easily fixed. Or, better yet, just ignored so that you can dress it up in tiny Whoville consumes and post it on here so the rest of us can laugh hysterically and shoot water through our noses. (Bam! Full circle!)

    Like

  126. 128
    jeanieinparadise

    I have a problem. I started reading your comments and everyone was saying “hernia” “hernia” “hernia” “hernia” “hernia” and I got it to a tune in my head that was so funny I went past the next 95 responses, but by the time I got here, it wasn’t so funny any more.
    I got other things going on, but I thank your belly button for the good show.

    Like

  127. Wait, I just wanna know why I have to have 3 scars for my gall bladder removal because I would much rather have a Who button from Whoville

    Like

  128. I strongly suggest you not post a video. I have not asked Google but my guess is that there is a Belly Button Fetish Community out there. Oh wait. You are probably already in it. Might as well post the vid. BE A STAR.

    Like

  129. Bad news…umbilical hernia. Good news…easy to fix and you can get another punch on your surgery punch-card? I’m pretty sure if they have to cut you open one more time, that you get to keep the knives.

    Like

  130. 132
    cheryl ray

    I hope it’s a twin that will be able to talk. How cool would that be. You could do interviews with your navel.

    Like

  131. A) Stop being so awesome. You’re makin’ everybody else look bad.

    B) That’s totally a hernia. My son has one and is getting it fixed this summer. =).

    Like

    abandoningpretense recently posted Before I Had My Son He Was the Perfect Child.

  132. It’s a hernia. Do the surgery, get the pain meds, then write a blog about it. Problem solved.

    Like

    Manicmom recently posted The sound of music.

  133. 135
    ravenousfatty

    How did you know to take a BEFORE picture?

    Like

  134. I admire your belly button bravery. Your navel tale. I’m excited to hear what it is!

    Like

    Alie Kriofske recently posted Swimming in overwhelm without any water wings.

  135. 137
    Rebecca Eubank

    Hernia

    Like

  136. The good news is that there is at least a 60% chance that you are NOT already dead. So whatever the doctor tells you is going to be fabulous.

    Like

    Karen Marie Peterson recently posted How a Car Alarm Killed My Saturday Night.

  137. Umm. Yeah, sounds like it could be a hernia, especially if it hurts. Sometimes I worry about my taste in posts I read and posts I skip for now and save for later and wonder why distended belly buttons got to be the “I just woke up but I’m gonna read this anyway and it’s gonna be AWESOME!”posts. I frighten myself.

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    Sarah Elizabeth recently posted There And Back Again: The Blogosphere.

  138. It’s a new party trick!

    Like

  139. 141
    Jeanette

    While I totally appreciate the fact that you just got us all to gaze at your navel, I’m pretty sure you just have an umbilical hernia. It’s a thing. Not a huge deal either. Although, if it is belly button cancer, I’m sure that there’s some national recognition there as the first case known to man. Not that you would care for that sort of attention, but it would definitely warrant another book chapter, and who doesn’t need that?

    Like

  140. 142
    thevoltz2000

    I have the same thing- mine is an “umbilical hernia” from when I had my first daughter. I still haven’t gotten it taken care of, but it’s never bothered me and didn’t get worse with my 2nd daughter. I sorta want to keep it, so when they act up I can just pull up my shirt and yell, “See! See what I have sacrificed for you!? My cute belly button ring innie is now an ugly alien looking outie and it is all BECAUSE OF YOU NOW GO GET MY WINE SLUSHIE OUT OF THE FREEZER!!!!”

    Like

  141. Just like everyone else is saying, it’s absolutely a hernia. Bits of your insides are actually trying to get out!! COOL!

    But seriously, you should go get it fixed. Scar tissue left over from previous surgeries can cause this to happen.

    Like

  142. 144
    Juliet Holden

    “It’s like having a sex tape, but grosser and less lucrative.” The first of many reasons to read this post.

    Like

  143. Just be cautious about air travel for a while. On the plus side, you get a payout when it explodes: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/05/02/woman-belly-button-explodes-plane-_n_5252059.html

    Like

  144. Can’t wait for the update on the navel alien situation. Good Luck!

    Like

  145. My father-in-law had hernia surgery a few years ago and now he has NO bellybutton. We just tell people he was hatched.

    Like

  146. 148
    Laneycakes

    The oddest things happen to your body.. I never have ANYthing interesting like this happen to me. I haven’t been to a doctor in over 10 years. I haven’t even ever had a cavity. I know that’s a good thing, but I don’t have much to talk about at cocktail parties when people start discussing their odd illnesses and scars.

    Like

  147. I had an Umbilical Hernia for years before I got it fixed. It was a big one too. I was uninsured and couldn’t afford the surgery until I got insured. It’s no big deal. When I showed it to my doctor he said it was no big deal, unless it started hurting, then it could kill you within an hour.* If you have the insurance I recommend you get it fixed.

    • The problem is if it sucks a piece of your intestines out through the hole and pinches it off. That could be fatal within hours.

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  148. I suspect it’s a hernia. My husband had an umbilical hernia a couple years ago and that’s exactly what it was like.

    Like

  149. I’m taking bets on the silent twin.

    My husband had a hernia in his lower abdomen. He kept calling it a “fat bubble” because it popped out on occasionally. Yeah — no. Get that rascal looked at!

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    Stacey Graham (@staceyigraham) recently posted I looked. I always look. Review of Haunted Stuff.

  150. The awesome part of this post is that you had a “before” photo of your navel available for comparison. I just went through all my photos and could not find one photo of mine. Fixing that tonight when I get home. I would do it right away, but my co-workers would get offended if I bared my belly to take a belly selfie. Or is it just called a belfie? I don’t know….

    Like

  151. 153
    mommydoc

    Angelique: One for the scope (camera) which goes through the belly bowl (LOVE that expression and will appropriate it for future use) and 2 in the right upper quadrant for the instruments that are actually used for the surgery. Guaranteed Jenny has the other 2 incisions as well. They’re just smaller and less likely to separate and cause an incisional hernia.

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  152. Chiming in with the others who said umbilical hernia. I had the same thing, and after gall bladder surgery as well. I will say they went surgical repair on mine, and it was about as easy as the gall bladder, though the first couple of days I think I actually had more pain than the gall bladder (it was relatively minor overall, though, really, and easily handled by medication. I just really didn’t want to quit medicating until day 3, and then I was fine). Of the hernias, it probably is the most minor, but you do want to get it checked out and you may need surgical repair. Mine was same day in and out and a week or so recovery off work because I could, with about six weeks’ restriction on lifting.

    Like

  153. 155
    Kathryn Gallagher

    Yeah, had the hernia thing too. Mine popped out when my darling 2 year old son head butted me in the belly. Had the surgery cause it hurt and because my intestine might pop out too and strangulate. Then emergency surgery would be needed. Sound fun?
    Same son also hit me in the jaw with the end of a broom, setting off two years of TMJ stuff. It really works for me now when I need stuff done around the house. Bless his heart. So find some way to blame it on your daughter- it will really pay off.

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  154. I hope you just have a really talented belly button!

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  155. Looks like a hernia:/

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  156. I wish I had a hernia so I could get a tummy tuck…and liposuction…

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  157. Bless the mommydoc! I’m only nurse to a sheep and she said it all. Hopefully it will be an easy fix! The steroids you’ve had to take likely affected healing. No big deal! Take good care & lots of fleecy hugs from Eustice.

    Like

  158. I had one, it;s na umbilical hernia……It’s ok as long as it is quiet…when they get angry is when they cause trouble! Kinda like me!

    Like

  159. Now I’m going to stare at my own navel and wonder when I will develop a hernia from the laparoscopic surgery I had a year ago to remove an errant Mirena IUD from, you know, not my uterus.

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  160. Navel-gazing! I almost just sprayed coffee out of my nose!

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  161. Another use for the Kitty Carpet – just snip off a piece to make your belly button a Who!

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  162. I’m sure this has been said already, but my telemedicine consult diagnosis (I am actually a doc! but see your own for a real eval) is umbilical hernia. Anyone can get it but the fact that you had an incision for your lap chole (gallbladder out) there makes you more at risk. Overall a rather benign finding, no dying!

    Like

  163. If it doesn’t hurt or affect you in anyway, then I’m Effin’ jealous! The only thing my belly button is good for is collecting lint & body hair (aka belly button spiders). They were fun when the kids were young, when you throw them in the toilet they move about like they’re drowning. Good times. But now, I just collect them in a jar, saving them for the grandkids that haven’t been made yet.

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  164. It’s definitely a hernia. My oldest had one as an infant and her bellybutton popped out like a small fruit. The doc said it would likely heal itself and it did. Definitely get it checked out, but don’t worry another second about it. There’s so much other shit in the world you could be freaking out about right now.

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    jaclynschoknecht recently posted Stuff I Found….

  165. That is a hernia, for sure. You laughed your intestines out of place!

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  166. 168
    Fifi Belle

    Umbilical hernia. Disgusting to look at but nowhere near being fatal. My husband had one. You know how when you were a kid and eating an orange, and you inserted the rind in front of your teeth so you would look like a total idiot? That’s what it reminded me of every time I looked at my husband’s. He finally visited a surgeon and got it fixed. Very short recovery period, too. Looks almost normal again. But I still have an aversion to orange rind. Good luck to you!

    Like

  167. Um, you have a very nice belly. Seriously, I’m jealous-have you no stretch marks woman? Also, hernia. Like you, I had my gall bladder removed through my belly button & the surgeon told me to watch out for a “peek a boo” belly button. I guess it’s not uncommon for this to happen after gall bladder surgery.

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  168. Yeah, it’s either an umbilical hernia or your chest burster got lost.

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  169. I have no medical advice, plus it seems everybody has you diagnosed.

    However, I love navel gazing, I’m making eyes at my own navel right now. And I hope it is a tiny alien, because that seems super awesome and also maybe once it comes out it can ride on your shoulder like a mini-alien-parrot, but without the screaming of the real parrots. Plus if you are destined to have strange things happen to you I think ‘alien coming out of belly’ is SUPER rare, in fact I think only like 10 people have had it.

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  170. 172
    Lisa Miller

    It’s a hernia, and EASILY FIXED. Don’t freak, you’ll be fine. Let me tell you about my digestive issues this week. Talk about GROSS.

    Like

  171. 173
    Lady Macbeth

    I had my gallbladder removed shortly after yours exploded, and your so-called scar looks nothing like mine. In fact, it doesn’t even look like you have a scar in the “before” picture. Mine appears to be this disgusting, chubby, pink maggot-like growth close to the exterior of my belly button; the base of said scar creates another small indentation, making it now look like I have one and a half innies. And, now I’m grossing myself out.

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  172. The internet is both awesome and Aweful when it comes to being sick!! Happy to hear I am not the only
    one who automatically assumes the worse! Good luck and keep us posted🙂

    Like

  173. 175
    mommydoc

    Eustice the Sheep: I totally forgot about the steroids. Yes, Jenny, that’s likely why you developed an incisional hernia. Unfortunately, the steroids you take interfere with wound healing and tissue repair. Make sure your surgeon knows about that and you should expect to observe a longer recuperation as far as any heavy lifting or straining, which includes preventing constipation.

    Like

  174. 176
    Princess in my head

    Can you get pink hair for it? Like the who-who toupee?!? Because that would be awesome! I mean, if you were to use the toupee…wait did I just say who-who? After you called your alien a Who? I think this just got weird.

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  175. I’m glad you are going to the doctor, always check out things that aren’t normal. And yes, I do go to the doctor, a lot!

    Like

  176. Sounds like an umbilical hernia. Not cancer. I am sure that 80 people have already said that. I am also glad to know that in not the only person who has/had a cavernous belly button. It was like the doctors wanted to cut off as much of the umbilical cord as they could when I was born. Which seems odd and slightly creepy.

    Like

  177. 179
    Lisa Hake

    Jenny, I love your blog and I turn to it often when I need to laugh. I agree that you probably have a hernia, but that is not why I am commenting. I saw this picture on Pinterest and HAD to send it to you. Since I don’t know you and don’t have your contact info I have to send it this way. Pinterest won’t let me send it to you. So here it is, a costume idea for next Halloween . I hope it brightens your day. Thank you for being out here and making sure every time I see a metal chicken I hear you in my head… KKMF! Love you! http://pretiffy.com/2013/10/20/creepy-doll-costume-tutorial/

    Like

  178. Dear God, the weirdest shit happens to you. Wow! I don’t know if you can have belly button cancer, but I have just learned you can have melanoma UNDER a toe nail. I know this because I had a dark, bloody spot under my nail and Dr. Google called it cancer. I saw a real non-Google doctor who told me it wasn’t, but just so y’all know, you can get scary cancer under a toe or fingernail. Good luck with your belly button!

    Like

  179. 181
    bejolly65

    It’s an umbilical hernia. You’ll live but you need surgery. Good luck.

    Like

  180. 182
    mommydoc

    Sarah: Rest assured, your navel begins where the umbilical cord shrivels up, dies, and falls off on its own. You just were naturally blessed with an uber-innie and, I am sure, the envy of all your friends.

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  181. Is it possible that they stitched you up with the wrong stitches? My husband had thumb-tendon surgery, over the course of a few years he kept getting a blister-type thing, until one day he pulled a stitch out of the blister (they were supposed to use the dissolving kind but didn’t) and after that it was just fine. This probably isn’t helping : )

    Like

  182. This is one of those good news, bad news replies… I have had now… 4 surgeries through my belly button. Not a one has caused it to do that.. Well there’s your bad news, you should probably get that checked out.. Good news, I’ll gaze at your navel any day you ask, and am not grossed out by it, In fact, I kinda want to push on it and push it back in…Also Who’s… Hilarious!!

    Like

  183. 185
    Nicci Mann

    AAAHHHH!!!! paranoid twitch i just had my gallbladder removed on the 8th of this month. is this what i have to look forward to!? whimpers

    Like

  184. 186
    Rayne Millaray

    My daughter’s belly button was like this till she was 3. It was an issue with the muscles not closing behind it. They called it a hernia.

    Like

  185. Literal navel gazing. I guess an appropriate way to end a productive week:).

    Like

    candidkay recently posted It’s all fun and games until fire, homelessness and pleurisy hit.

  186. Break a limb! Hopefully you have simply grown a new Who (or hernia). If you do have a tumour do you think you would ask to keep it? Like a curio? “Hey, look at this jar! It is me! Or at least, a bit of me…”

    Like

  187. Prayers it isn’t more than an easily fixed hernia. But you have to do the googly eyes pic first!!

    Like

  188. I love you. Candles are lit – hoping your belly button issue is easily resolved. Like without knives being involved.

    Like

  189. Same thing happened to me after I parted company with the evil gallbladder.
    Turns out that there were a few loose stone behind there that had leaked out during surgery. The eventually split the shin, and worked their way out. The first time was while I was getting dressed to go to a wake! It healed up soon enough, after spitting out @ 5 stones. Thank God I’m married. Best of luck.H

    Like

  190. My husband has that, except it stays outie. One doctor said it was nothing and he was cool with that, but another doctor said it was an umbilical hernia. That’s when Dan got scared because now it had a NAME.

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted High School (Reunion) Memories.

  191. Is it a superpower? Can you use that as a superpower?

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    rhymeswithtwitch recently posted Decision through indecision.

  192. so… am I the only one who thinks it looks like the head of a troll penis? umm, prob’ly. [sigh.]

    Like

  193. Hmmmm….I’m thinking you swallowed seeds and our mother’s were right about shit growing our stomachs

    Like

    Michelle recently posted I’m A Six Goat Girl.

  194. 196
    purplepenguin

    Go to the doctor. I had an umbilicala hernia and ignored it for years. Until, one night, I had such pain, I couldn’t breathe. Eventually, the intestines went back inside, and that’s when I went to the doctor. Had the surgery and it was fixed. If you have the surgery, you might NOT have a belly button anymore! I asked for one, as I am “fluffy” and there’s plenty of skin. LOL

    After the surgery, I had to lay around, and be waited on. Yeah, right, that is gonna happen. After the surgery, laughing hurt. I would go “Ha ha OW!” and my family would laugh, making me laugh more. This is dangerous!!! To this day, they will kid me with “Ha ha OW!”

    Like

  195. 197
    emmiehillerby

    I think it’s a tiny alien 👽 in your belly button, that has a hernia poking out of his belly button so he’s trying to get free medical help by making you think it’s yours. Your absolutely fine it’s your scamming internal alien that’s not fine at all

    Like

  196. Pure fucking talent right there, Jenny. Hope everything turns out okay!

    Like

    militarywiferants recently posted I Pity The Skinny Girls.

  197. Personally I enjoyed the glitter button and possible twin theories. If you don’t have to get it fixed, just think of how fun & easy it will be to keep your bellybutton lint free.

    Like

  198. Thank you for making me laugh. And cry. I’m weird like that. Of course I wish you the best.

    Like

  199. 201
    Lilscorpiosweetie79

    The word for contemplating your belly button is Omphaloskepsis. So its a regular thing to contemplate your belly button. Otherwise there would be no word for contemplating your belly button. I am glad you are going to the doctor.. you’ll have to update your post to let us know what the doctor said about your belly button.So there’s another person oogling your belly button AND contemplating it.

    Like

  200. Your belly button is NOT gross. It’s a sexy belly button and I’m jealous. Not that it pops in and out though, like if that’s a hernia, I don’t want that. But my belly around my button looks like meat lard was jammed into a balloon by a 5 year old. Ok. It looks like Fat Bastard before he went on the Subway diet.

    ANd as talented as your belly button is, still not as talented as your brain and humor bone. Now I’m going to have to see a priest and say some prayers because I think I’m idolizing you too much. Like who gets jealous of someone’s hernia? Your fans.

    Like

    Michelle Grewe recently posted Super Easy Almond Cake.

  201. It’s definitely a hernia. My brother had the same thing. Minor surgery maybe, but you are not dying!

    Like

  202. A hernia of some sort. Sometimes those can be left, other times they need to be surgically repaired. Good luck.🙂

    Like

    tequilastarrise recently posted Direction.

  203. I had that happen and thought it was just getting old and gaining a few pounds. It was a hernia and I had to have some mesh put in as it really means your intestines are trying to pop out of your belly – button. If it pushes too much some of your intestines could get stuck there and things get exponentially worse. Happy Friday!!🙂

    Like

  204. Maybe it’s an absorbed twin and they’ll pull out a dermoid cyst with hair and teeth. I bet you’d like that.

    Like

  205. umbilical hernia. Means surgery😦 But it’s a fairly common one. Good luck lovey

    Like

  206. It’s good that you’re going to the Doctor since you admit having pain. A painful umbilical hernia is a very bad sign. (I have experience.)

    Like

  207. 209
    Liz Bouer

    It’s definitely either a hernia OR maybe the scar from your laparoscopic surgery, has a keloid internally. Basically malformed scar tissue. Either way, I don’t think your dying! Good luck!🍀

    Like

  208. It’s good that you’re going to the Doctor since you admit having pain. (I have experience). Incarcerated umbilical hernias are a very, very bad thing. Be well soon.

    Like

  209. 211
    Julia Thelen

    Never apologize. Ever.

    Like

  210. had ovarian cysts removed when i was 18 (more moons ago than i care to admit) and they sent the camera through my belly button… there is still a scar (that runs perpendicular to the lines of my belly button, which is mean) and it often feels hot to the touch in comparison to the rest of me. i hold certain that this is where my super powers will come from… when they finally develop. damn slow super powers!

    Like

    elizabeth ann recently posted What would you watch if you had all the time in the world?.

  211. Victor’s right. That needs to be looked at! My first thought was scar tissue but I don’t know! I hope it’s something completely minor that goes away on its own! Good luck! Hope you get your inconspicuous belly button back!

    Like

  212. You know in the “Alien” movies when the baby aliens pop out? Just sayin’…

    Like

  213. Same thing happened to me after laparoscopic cholecystectomy(gallbladder removal). Scar tissue…and probable hernia. Non life threatening! Ha! If anything else starts to pop out and stay out, then you might consider getting it
    fixed.🙂

    Like

  214. After you compared it to a Who I was totally hoping the next picture would include eyes and hair….sigh…does that make me a bad person?

    Like

  215. The belly button thing is terrifying. I have a phobia about my belly button opening and my guts falling out. So, I hope your guts don’t fall out. That would be both gross and also probably deadly. I need a Xanax now.

    Like

  216. 218
    Auntie Meme

    It’s a belly BUTTON, right? You know how the stitching holding buttons on things starts coming loose and you have to resew the button on to secure it? (although I use masking tape, binder clips, safety pins or paper clips or just assume everyone wants to see the area between my cleavage and belly button). You need a tailor, not a doctor, to tack that sucker back down.

    Like

  217. First thing I thought was a hernia. I hope you’re all right and it isn’t anything worse! Especially not an alien baby MADE OF CANTALOUPE. Because that shit would be wrong.

    Like

    Adrasteia recently posted What day is it? Thursday?.

  218. Thinking good thoughts for your Tummy Who.

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  219. This isn’t really pertinent to this discussion, but you really need to buy this: http://mcphee.com/shop/squirrel-coffee-cup.html.

    Like

  220. My first thought was hernia. Let us know. Unfortunately it might mean more surgery in the near future. Insert unhappy face here.

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  221. Yep that would be an umbilical hernia. Had mine fixed a year ago. Now it’s back to normal minus the small scar. Don’t be lifting heavy stuffed animals, kids or laundry . . . there I said it. now you have an excuse!

    Like

  222. It’s your unicorn horn growing in! DOUBLE UNICORN SUCCESS CLUB TOTAL WIN!!!

    Or it might be a penis — a little, lost penis. Just start tugging on it daily to get it moving in the right direction. But just think: soon you’ll be able to stand up to pee! Also total win.

    Either way, I am super-jealous.

    Like

  223. My mother had the exact same thing. Umbilical hernia. See a dr ASAP.

    Like

  224. Hernia. Had one. Got it fixed. No biggie.

    Like

  225. Umbilical hernia is a quick and simple surgery, as far as surgeries go. I’ve had several different types and this was no big deal in comparison. You get to go home the same day and mine was a very quick recovery!

    Like

  226. That is an umbillcal hernia. I actually had one from having my kids and when I got my gallblader removed they pulled it back in and I now have a pretty belly button ( which i guess is weird, because, really, how pretty are they?)

    Like

  227. It’s a hernia. I had one that had gotten huge because doctors. Finally had to have surgery and lost my belly button all together. My mother says I’m an alien.

    Like

  228. OH MY GOD DO NOT CONSULT WEB MD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Especially YOU, with your history of anxiety and general (though adorable and always entertaining) neuroses. Because on Web MD, as I’m sure you’ve found out by now, EVERYTHING IS CANCER. Have a hangnail? CANCER. Did you drop a hammer on your foot? You have foot cancer, and now the hammer has hammer cancer. Look what you’ve went and done.

    Your belly button, as the doctor will likely tell you, = scar tissue (from your operation) + time (meaning gravity).

    Although it’s probably a good idea to go anyway and address the sharp stomach pains. Who needs one more thing to worry about? Certainly not you and the evil second head growing out of your belly button.

    Everything will be OK. We are all symbolically driving you to the hospital and telling you how silly you’re being about all of this. We’ll wait in the lobby and then we’ll all have a good laugh about it over margaritas afterward. Our treat.

    Like

  229. Looks like the consensus is “hernia” but…..I just wanted to be post #227 cuz it’s my birthday

    Like

  230. So, before you give birth to an alien through your belly button, or have it removed, I think you should put googly eyes on it and send a pic to Wil Wheaton. How could anyone every beat an aroused The Doctor Who belly button with googly eyes? Seriously, though, DO IT!

    Like

  231. While reading I was going to guess hernia especially since you had surgery recently. As far as webmd you’re better off asking a random stranger on the bus (or internet) than reading that anxiety provoking search engine. I’m glad you’re going to the dr to get an actual diagnosis that will likely put you at ease. Good luck!

    Remember. Webmd is evil. The last time I looked anything up on it? Hmmm. Sinus headache or cancer?? Well, shit!

    Like

  232. If you start to feel lonely in the awkward-belly-button-club just google a picture of John Stamos shirtless. No lie. Here’s a link to help you out. http://www.drschulmanplasticsurgery.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/john-stamos.jpg How’s a man supposed to hock greek yogurt with THAT going on under his shirt?

    Like

  233. Good luck, my daughter had an obsession with my belly button when she was little. Always pulling up my shirt to see it, it definitely got uncomfortable from time to time. Hope all is ok with you

    Like

  234. 237
    Tiffany J

    GREAT NEWS You don’r have to go to the doctor to be diagnosed! I work for a fabulous doctor, so I showed him your pictures and he did it for you.. hernia! The bad news.. now you have to go to the doctor!

    Like

  235. 238
    Maggi Oswald

    Sweetie, it’s probably an umbilical hernia. My husband has one. He had an innie and it turned into an outie after my niece poked him in the stomach really hard when she was about 5. She’s 35 now and he’s still alive and kicking. So don’t worry.

    Like

  236. I had an umbilical hernia as a baby, and that is exactly what my button looks and acts like now. I think it means we’re twins. You should move to Oregon so we can have ice cream together.

    Like

  237. You could snip the end off of the kitty carpet and stick it on top of your navel alien and it really would look like a Whovillian.

    Like

    Marianne recently posted Can't you smell that smell?.

  238. The exact same thing happened to me and it was a hernia. Stupid gall bladders.

    Like

  239. Whatever it ends up being, I hope you’re ok and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Love you, Crazy Lady.❤

    Like

  240. Humans by very nature are narcissistic….it’s when it becomes to a personality disorder that it’s a problem. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t feel empathy..like a psychopath or a sociopath. You have empathy coming out of your pores..I can see that all the way from Ohio. What you have, is a weird belly button and you want reassurance and you also want to share the weirdness. We want to see the weirdness. It’s mutually beneficial. And my money is on hernia and you’ll be fine.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted I’m A Six Goat Girl.

  241. Ahhh good luck!

    Also, um, cleanest belly button ever?? I sometimes wish I could properly clean that but then you just can’t get all that lint trapped inside! But with this neat trick, you can have that sucker SPOTLESS!

    Like

  242. 245
    LusherLaRue

    Umbilical hernia. Been there, have that and yes, it was the result of my gallbladder removal through my belly button as well. So you are fine. And your outie is small. Mine is the size of the entire village of Whoville.

    Like

  243. So not grossed out. In fact, I think I might be jealous.

    I just want the doctor to confirm it is something cool, like a friendly anxiety eating alien, or the start of a horn or something.

    Hope to see an update soon.
    crosses fingersPlease be an alien …

    Like

    Susan recently posted Well hell ….

  244. Can’t wait for the “Eht’s naaaht ah toooomah !” post !

    Maybe if you just put some Windex on it …

    Best wishes !

    Like

  245. Well, the good news is now we all know what happens when a woman takes Viagra.

    Like

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  246. My umbilical hernia was from pregnancy. I didn’t pay attention to it until I lifted something heavy at work and aggravated it. Then I spent 4-5 years poking the fat back in whenever things got painful. I finally got it fixed last year. 36 hours after surgery, my very sympathetic husband said “how long are you going to drag this “recovery” thing out?” My doctor said I could be back to work in a week, so I went back to work in a week. Mostly because my husband was annoying and I needed a place to get some rest. 🙂 It seems fine now…

    Like

  247. Whatever it turns out to be, you’ve got a ton of people here who are more than willing to either a) laugh at your double-jointed belly button or b) let you cry on their shoulder if it turns out to be some kind of fruity cancer. Heck, I’m just a bit up the road if you really need to cry on a strangers shoulder. Cancer can bring out emotions we never realized we had and sometimes we need more than just a Victor to cry on.

    Like

  248. Umbilical hernia or fistula! Btw go ahead and look that one up – you won’t be able to look away!

    Like

  249. Yeah, I was going to suggest hernia and to see your doc since you have pain. No matter what, you have a very special belly button! Mine never does ANYTHING.

    Like

  250. Good luck at the doctor, you Queen of Mutant Belly Buttons.

    Really, though, it’s most likely a hernia and I had one after my last child was born. They aren’t very serious, but you should get it checked out…they do hurt every now and then and who needs THAT?!

    Like

  251. As creepy as that is, it’s really kind of cool too.

    Like

    Melodie recently posted Survival.

  252. mine looks exactly the same way, which i am sure you’re thrilled to hear. but im told it is an umbilical hernia, and not a super big deal. sort of hideous, yes. but not fatal. but you should probably lie down. and limp for awhile. just to be safe.

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  253. When my mom was a kid her sister told her not to clean her bellybutton lint cuz they were her baby seeds. I figure yours may have taken root. That or a tiny Chuck Norris is punching his way out of your bellybutton. It’s all good. But really- been there done that with the hernia thing. It’s not too awful but the free jello and wheelchair ride just isn’t as awesome as you’d expect. 🙂

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  254. I came here to tell you you probably have a harmless hernia and need routine day surgery, but it sounds like you already have that figured out.😉

    Like

  255. 258
    Solstice

    Good luck, and good for you for heading straight to the doctor. This is the kind of thing that, if it happened to me, I’d spend weeks avoiding the doctor while obsessing over how I would be the first person ever to die of an exploding belly button and googling “belly button cancer” 40 times a day. Go me.

    Like

  256. My best friend in elementary school had no belly button because she had an umbilical hernia and had to have to removed. It was perfectly flat, and frankly, it made me uncomfortable to look at.

    Like

  257. I’m reading I’m reading and I’m like.. oh I wonder if she knows she has a hernia.. scan scan.. yup. she knows. good. ps I have no belly button. the LAST time they fixed a hernia on me? They sewed mine closed. DONT LET THEM STEAL YOUR BELLY BUTTON! I have another hernia. not quite that pronounced…

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  258. Popping in to say BRAVO for going directly to the doctor instead of just wondering, which is what so many people do.

    Like

  259. Definitely a minor umbilical hernia. I had my gallbladder out last October plus I had a similar hernia as yours repaired at the same time. My GI doc said it’s pretty common to get an umbilical hernia, especially after pregnancy. Your abdomen just isn’t the same after kids.🙂

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  260. What the hell IS that thing? I’m super jealous you have a strange belly button party trick, but also that seems… weird. Not weird as in cool, weird as in you should definitely get that checked out.
    I also have a deeply internal belly button. Are you telling me I won’t get the cute outie belly button when I get pregnant?!

    Like

  261. My best gal-pal had a gut ache. And a back ache. And an all over ache that finally led her to the ER just over a year ago.
    They removed a 55 POUND non-cancerous tumor from her abdominal area.

    It DID NOT LOOK LIKE THIS by any stretch of the imagination. I’d say trust the Internets and have that umbilical hernia tacked back up.

    For anyone wondering, a 55 POUND tumor is roughly the size of a NBA regulation basket ball. Only grosser.

    Like

  262. Definitely umbilical hernia. I have one and it looks exactly like that. You can have it fixed – maybe for free since it seems that it’s probably an effect from your surgery? – but after the surgery you can lift nothing over 20 pounds for like 6 weeks. I mention this because I looked at get mine fixed after our third baby but he was like 6 months old and I just laughed when he mentioned the no lifting thing and then left. My baby is now 7 and my belly is still ugly.

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  263. Good luck at the doc! Be brave!

    xo,
    Jamie

    http://inspirationlush.com/

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  264. once my navel got itchy and red and i asked webMD what it was, and webMD said i had flesh-eating staph, but at urgent care it turns out i just had athlete’s foot of the navel, which is apparently a thing? this is why you should never bare your midriff at yoga class, kids.

    Like

  265. We have $2 coins in Canada – I could mail you one – 25 cents doesn’t seem like enough.

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  266. 269
    Dan Gross

    So:
    a.) it does that when you laugh
    b.) Doc said to be careful…
    I’d say something funny here but I don’t want to kill you…

    in fact by posting that here and NOT closing comments are you trying to strangulate yourself?

    Like

  267. Worked with a guy who had this. They repaired it by REMOVING HIS BELLY BUTTON. Seriously. He has no button. Like some kind of Sneetch

    Like

  268. Wow- getting my GB out destroyed my bellybutton too.. much worse though. And can you believe they wouldn’t even let me keep it? The nerve…

    Like

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  269. You should use a doubloon on your hernia and then get an eye patch and be a pirate. Captain Jenny belly button cancer of hernialand.

    I had to look up how to spell doubloon.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted I’m A Six Goat Girl.

  270. Before I saw the photo I pictured it like one of those party favor horns that unrolls and that would have been way cooler than a hernia.

    Like

  271. I TOLD YOU SOOO!!!! Yeah, take it easy until you have surgery…you don’t want an incarcerated bowel…they don’t shiv, they strangle and it’s NOT pretty! Hope you feel better soon & recover well from surgery!

    Like

  272. I had an umbilical hernia, though my doctor didn’t think so at first, but I wasn’t buying that so he referred me to a surgeon who said I did have one. She used some surgical mesh to repair it (which I can feel!) And I don’t have a belly button anymore, just a scar that looks like a ghost belly button. At least afterwards you can get someone to carry all the heavy stuff your not supposed to carry – Dr’s orders. Good luck with whatever it is.

    Like

  273. I know this sounds dumb, but I’m still waiting to hear what’s in your belly button. A quarter or two dimes seems like too easy of an answer…maybe it’s the baby from Alien trying to force it’s way out? (Or does stomach cancer sound less scary?…)

    Like

  274. I have the same Hernia from a surgery where they went through my belly button I go in on June 12th to have surgery because I ignored mine and it is now a snake instead of the little plumb it was. When I had it explained to me it sounds like they are going to try to make a couple of little holes in my stomach and try and shove a snake into a balloon. Don’t wait Jenny, have it done, this thing has been really uncomfortable and they don’t stay tiny and you won’t be able to even lift your dang cat after awhile. Best of wishes to you.

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  275. Okay, I guessed hernia, too, as I was reading the original, non-updated post. That makes 8,001 of us medical experts who read your blog. In my defense, my son is a doctor (start his residency next month). Plus I have been binge-watching House.

    Like

  276. 279
    Dan Gross

    @Erin: “We have $2 coins in Canada – I could mail you one – 25 cents doesn’t seem like enough.”
    I’d be worried the hernia might bust the middle out of a toonie…

    Like

  277. I’m very sorry you have to have another belly button surgery, but I am very glad for your navel gazing, so keep doing it. The navel gazing, I mean. But not literally your navel. Unless you really want to talk about your navel, then I’m okay with that.

    Like

    Steph recently posted Pt. 1: Is This Really My Life? Pt. 2: Yes. And that’s okay..

  278. Oh pumpkin. Glad that you’ll have it taken care of soon. And glad that you don’t have to do situps any more! If there’s an upside to this all, it’s that. Take care. :o)

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  279. I read the first sentence, skipped to the pics and thought “hernia.” Hope things go OK. xoxox

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  280. i did not read one of the comments. i had to tell you that this shit had my laughing out loud. jenny, only you could turn a belly-button-twin-hernia, incarcerated-intestines-committing-strangulation story into something that literally made me laugh out loud. so loud that my cats are looking at me angrily for interrupting their bathing/napping/birdwatching (they each have very active lives).

    it’s kind of strange because this morning around 1am a colleague of mine was rushed to the ER where they had to perform emergency surgery because her intestines like telescoped or strangulated one another or something equally serious.

    i had my gallbladder removed through my belly button a couple of years ago. i will now be watching my belly button like a navel-gazing hawk.

    Like

    steph gas recently posted yeah.... no..

  281. Oh hey, I have one of those too! If we laugh while facing each other, our bumps can do a bump-fist!

    Or you could go ahead with the surgery. That’s good too. I’ll just sit here and do a lonely bump-fist into the air.

    Like

  282. HAHAHA, OH MY GOD, STOP!! Now I keep secretly checking my belly button with my hand when I laugh… which is a lot during this post!!! I love you, please do not die of belly button cancer!

    Like

  283. I feel bad now because this is honestly the most I’ve ever laughed at a blog post (not just yours; anyone’s). I’m sorry you have a hernia! I hope you get well soon.

    If your intestines are trying to escape through your belly button, you would think that incarceration (inside your body) would be a good thing…

    Like

  284. Welp, now I won’t be able to keep a straight face when my patients have hernias so THANKS FOR THAT

    Like

  285. 288
    SChambers

    I had an umbilical hernia from being pregnant. The surgery wasn’t too bad. They stick a piece of mesh in there, kind of like a fence to keep your guts from trying to escape.

    Like

  286. Well, if you need to put hair on the Who, you could always use the shocking pink pillsbury crescent perforated merkin from the previous post…

    Actually, having had exactly this, it should all go really easily for you, and you’ll get another pair of those neato socks with the tire treads on the bottom to keep for when you have to race Victor to the bedroom or bathroom while you’re in your jammies (pretending for a moment that you wear jammies and aren’t racing him nekkid* after Hailey goes to sleep).

    *Nude is for art works, naked means you have no clothes on, nekkid means you have no clothes on “and you’re up to something.”

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  287. My dad loves to tell the story about how I screamed so hard for the first three months of my life that I herniated my belly button. He also loves to tell the story about how when I was 8 years old he told me I was “going to have a trophy rack just like Barbie”. My dad drinks.

    Like

  288. 291
    Lydia Arnold

    Never stop blogging, please. I adore you.

    Like

  289. Well, since you already know what it is I won’t tell you. I’m glad you got it checked and will get it fixed. My best to you & yours through this, Jenny.
    Molly

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  290. I had the exact same thing after my gallbladder surgery. Three years later I had my hernia repaired because it popped out and looked like a tent. Total 90 degree angle. Now I have a giant piece of mesh holding my intestines in. Good times.

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  291. I had my gallbladder removed in 2001. In 2002 I had a hernia repair. Apparently it’s fairly common to develop an incisional hernia from this surgery. PLEASE be sure they don’t use mesh. I don’t want to freak you out but, it’s a VERY bad idea. The way it’s done without mesh ‘just’ involves pulling together and sewing the affected muscle.

    Like

  292. Sorry, forgot to mention this…you would know if an organ was trapped/incarcerated. It’s EXCRUCIATING. Like, you’d-rather-be-dead excruciating. It’s likely just a bit of fat pushing through.

    Like

  293. Make that 8,001…..🙂

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  294. Shit girl, I am recovering from a surgery where the doctor removed a body part through my belly button. At least if my insides decide to try to escape the same way I’ll know what it looks like. However, all the laughing I just did was probably not cool for the healing. I needed the laugh though. I hope they can get you in soon to keep your insides from escaping. The stuff still in there needs to stay there. Unless your appendix tries to escape. You really don’t need that.😀

    Like

  295. 298
    Julie Smith

    On the other side of your belly button is a giant poster of Rita Hayworth.

    Like

  296. How does Victor only have 2 dimes? Also… does this mean that Whoville is actually inside you? I mean, I understand the doctor says it’s pretty straightforward, but I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS.

    Like

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  297. Why is there not a “like” button for your posts? Got my gall bladder out the same way last year, and now I’m watching for whos, or belly button volcanoes, or whatever. Mainly so my doctor will tell me not to do situps. Not that I do.

    Like

  298. At what point did you realize your hernia looked like a Who? It’s spot on! Secondly, I too had an umbilical hernia due to my second kid deciding he’d have a field day during his stay in my uterus. Either way, all is good and wishing you all the best.

    Like

  299. 302
    Siddharth Chhokar

    Omphaloskepsis – the practice of contemplating one’s navel as an aid to meditation or introspection, hence introspection itself. I say, well done. You’re really getting in touch with your inner being. Have a great day!

    Like

  300. Oh, you poor baby! I mean that sincerely. When it comes to weird body stuff, you totally win. And I have a lot of weird shit.

    Like

  301. Yeah, I recently learned one of my ovaries is missing. It used to be there, now it isn’t. I’m thinking that it realized after I had myself spayed that it was now retired and went to Florida. Which really sucks for the other ovary that has to take up all the slack. I’m thinking that if I get ovarian cancer it will be in the missing one, and they won’t be able to find it in order to take it out, so they will just have to remove my whole body. Which won’t happen because if I am going to die of cancer it won’t be a cancer people have heard of that has a ribbon and a walk-a-thon. It will be something embarrassing like elbow cancer or butt cancer. Not rectal cancer. Cancer of the butt cheek, which will then have to be removed and then I’ll either sit with a list or have to wear a prosthetic butt cheek.

    Also auto-correct wanted to make walk-a-thon into walk-a-thin, which isn’t even a thing. It is just that kind of day.

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  302. 305
    Martine A.

    Had hernia surgery last June, it was incarcerated (bad pain!!!) still fighting the granulated tissue of healing. Almost completely healed, They have me cleaning it, and putting promergran (collagen) on it every couple of days….good luck!

    Like

  303. 306
    Brittany

    Am I the only one who is slightly disturbed by the fact that the size of tumors and fetuses is always compared to food?

    Like

  304. Well, crap, now I have to keep a look-out on my belly button, gall bladder removal scar,,,just to see if it pops out like yours..if it does, we could have dueling hernias…I’ll let ya know!😉

    Like

  305. 308
    Rhonda Colwell

    Since surgery is in your future, here are some tips to avoid a post op infection: 1)Stop eating sugar now, and don’t have sweets for a couple of weeks after surgery. High blood sugar is a invitation to infection. Diabetic patients should keep blood sugar in tight control before and after surgery. 2) Bath in Hibiclens (or a generic)the night before surgery and sleep in clean sheets.3) Stay warm before and after surgery. Operating rooms are cold so the staff don’t overheat in their sterile garb, and so the surgeons don’t drip sweat into anyone’s orifices, but if a patient gets cold during surgery, infection risks go up. Make sure your hospital uses a patient warming system, like bear hugger gowns. 4)Ask the anesthesia doc to crank up the oxygen during surgery and recovery.5) Make sure the nurses and doctors clean their

    hands before they do any dressing changes or procedures. 6) Get moving asap after surgery and do deep breathing/coughing frequently after surgery to prevent pneumonia. 6) If you’ve ever had a MRSA skin infection, ask the surgeon to screen you for MRSA before surgery. They’ll swab inside your nose, and if you carry MRSA, the doc can prescribe mupriocin ointment intranasally for a few days before surgery.
    You’re gonna do great.

    Like

  306. 309
    Lady Macbeth

    As to the update, if you’re looking for another method of bribery as well as disguise for your internal organs to remain inside your body, I’d highly recommend the Kitty Carpet. I think you’re intestines would stay in out of sheer shame and embarrassment.

    Secondly, does anyone else visualize a wall of intestines sitting behind bars (i.e. in jail) when the term “incarcerated hernia” is used? Is that just me?

    Lastly, good luck on your surgery, Jenny! As you already know, it sucks, but you’ve made it through before, and I know you will again.

    Like

  307. Since Rosemary’s Baby was just on TV, that’s where my mind went.

    Dragging myself as far away from that as I can, I’m just thinking good, healthy thoughts at you.

    Like

  308. That looks identical to my daughter’s umbilical hernia.

    Like

  309. Jenny, my husband is one of the 8,000 who called “hernia,” and he’s wanting to hear that everything’s okay. We both love you very much, but he’s actually lecturing me on the things that could be happening with you right now (he works in the lab at a hospital) and he’s genuinely stressing out on your behalf. Please give us some good news soon! Much love your way!

    (I’m fine and home. It hurts every so often but not for long. They can’t get me in for surgery until week after next – unless it gets worse and then they’ll do emergency surgery. They feel fairly sure it won’t come to that though so I have more than a week to start getting terrified about surgery, which will hopefully be quick and easy. No worries. But thanks for caring! ~ Jenny)

    Like

  310. 313
    @shthisisme

    Your navel gazing post is hilarious- never change. You’re so fabulously funny it wouldn’t surprise me if your popping umbilical hernia isn’t full of glitter. If the pain gets worse, don’t wait,make them operate sooner.
    I hope everything goes smoothly with no complications and as little pain as possible.

    Like

  311. Once you’re done with the belly button they should remove it. Cause now it’s just a lint-catcher.

    Like

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  312. Yep, umbilical hernia. Mine was not that large but instead anything that even brushed against my belly button would drop me to my knees in pain. So I had it fixed. Simple enough surgery. Mine was just closed, but some larger ones need a little mesh inside. Good luck to you and very funny post!

    Like

  313. It’s like an early Christmas present for anxiety. Here, have a thing to worry about!:/
    You know, just in case you were getting bored.

    Thinking of you. Take deep breaths and think happy thoughts and all that.❤

    Like

  314. Hey, Sweetie, as your resident veterinarian, I must say, I had you diagnosed right after you said “gall bladder surgery”, because I figured an incision is an incision, and while I am mostly familiar with those resulting from spaying dogs, cats, the occasional rabbit — the truth of the matter is that if one does not place enough sutures in the subcutaneous layers of muscle and fat beneath the skin — or if a suture knot unties by mistake before the area it’s holding together is sufficiently healed — you’ll get a hernia! So, you can call your surgeon and be sure to ask him “What the hell??! Who’d you have closing out in me?? The First-Year-Resident — the friggin’ Janitor?? And, now you’re going to charge ME $30,000.00, to essentially Do-over what y’all fucked up in the first place??” ( just giving you a little insider information, might give you some interesting talking points to discuss w/ your doctor/- try not to piss off your surgeon, though, but this really isn’t your doing!! Ha-ha-ha! We veterinarians always live to see one of the “True ” Gods brought to a humbling of spirit, every once in a while;). I would sure let them know that I didn’t expect to pay for the surgery to fix this!! Although you will probably end up shouting into the wind, it would at least be fun to try. Then, you get to hear the real spin start on the who, what, and why of such an unfortunate situation development:) Loved the photos of your navel, too, but do not try fate by continuing to see you can “get it to pooch out again, just to see if it will, etc .!”

    Like

  315. 318
    fogwoman

    Ha! 8001 cackle

    Like

  316. Get well soon and try to keep us posted!🙂

    Like

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  317. My stomach exploded last year from an ulcer I didn’t know I had and when they went in to fix it, they must have used crazy glue instead of stitches in the muscle wall because I now have a hernia I can stick my fist in and wave it around inside my body (or alternately my intestines boil out and wave at me). I’ve been on a waiting list to get it fixed – hopefully in the next two months (it’s been a year since the original surgery). Because the hole is so large the intestines move in and out freely, so there’s no pain or risk of strangulation, in fact I’ve been doing Crossfit for the last 6 months with no issues. Good luck with your repair.

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  318. The doctor telling you to stop doing sit ups I love….So I’m adding one….my daughter had this bad rash around her stomach, now all her friends had poison ivy so I assumed she did too..well 8 months later she still had the rash (yes im a horriable mother) so I took her to the dermatologist (the normal doctor said she had poison ivy for 8 months too) the doctor walked in the room, looked at her rash and asked her to stand up, sit down, stand up….”you’re allergic to your pants”…I asked for this also in a note so I could give it to her school to explain why I was sending her to school in her underwear. The doctor explained my daughter had a nickel allergy and it was the metal on her jeans causing the rash and she wanted this really hard test done to prove her theory. Ready Jenny? Go home and duck tape a nickel to my child and wait 24 hours, take tape off, if she has a rash its 100% metal allergy…..if the rash happens put clear nail polish on the metal on her jeans so she could wear pants to school…DAMN! That simple…and she gets to wear pants. So money is used for all types of weird tests…..and doctors wont give you notes for things they say in their offices. Goof luck on your hernia.

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  319. 322
    Holly bishop

    my first thought was it looked like a mini penus…totally missed it I guess…

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  320. 323
    Christianna

    The Who is brilliant! And dead on. So happy to hear it’s not naval cancer and so happy you share your crazy self. And kudos to you for not poking it back in with a stick. You make me happy every time I come here.

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  321. I had a hernia that ended up strangling my small intestines! I got gangrene in my intestines and very nearly died… you do not want this. And strangely enough I’m really kinda stoked (not for you in any way because it seriously sucks) that probably my favourite celebrity has the same thing I had.

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  322. It absolutely looks like Jojo! Oh my word!

    A quarter? Seriously. Parents frighten me.

    I’m so glad you know what it is and that it won’t kill you dead. Yay!

    You don’t think you got it from lifting large dead stuffed animals or giant roosters do you?

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  323. Also I only almost died because my dr wasn’t very onto it, and because I kept rejecting the dye that they put down the naso-gastric tube in order to scan me so they only got blurry scans. You will likely not die from this. So… don’t let my above post freak you out. Sorry. I’m not very good at not freaking people out accidentally

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  324. I’m totally praying your intestines don’t go to prison and strangle you.

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    Michelle Grewe recently posted Super Easy Almond Cake.

  325. You are amazing and resilient. A year from now, this will just be Some Thing That Happened. Im on a sinking ship too, so I gots the street creed, yo.

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  326. This made my day. I love reading your blog, but this was just pure awesome! And this is a super party trick, even with sober people! You are awesome.

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  327. Good luck, and get well soon. We need several good posts from you dear..:)

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  328. So, if you get this fixed, you won’t be able to name the Who face. Are you sure you want to do that because you could definitely make some money as a circus act. The Amazing Bloggess with Two Faces!

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    ponymartini recently posted Putting the “Fun” in Funerals.

  329. OMG Jenny🙂 Is it too late for this to be in your second book?

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  330. 333
    Johnners

    Eeek! Glad it’s a hernia and not some sort of John Hurt alien-type thing, but not glad that you have one at all, obviously. I hope you’re well again very soon x

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  331. There is such thing as belly button cancer. When my mom was studying to be a med-tech in the 70s her roommate lost a patient to it and my mom was forever traumatized. The result being that I was told one day as a small child while taking a bath not to play with my belly button–I might get belly button cancer. So I spent most of my childhood afraid to wash my belly button. Talk about some manky belly button lint. True story.

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  332. My friend also had a belly button hernia, and when she went in for surgery she got a tummy tuck included and covered by insurance. I am totally, 100% jealous.

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  333. So yes, I had it after my first pregnancy. Did surgery but apperently the first time (yes I had a 2nd surgery) the doctor only sew it up and of course it came back. 2nd time he put a mesh so my suggetion to you is make sure they will put the mesh unless tou like to surgery after surgery. Same thing happend to my dad also. Good luck and don’t worry it a short surgery. :))

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  334. I’m literally laughing so hard I had to take a break, come back, and re-read this.
    I’m sorry that you have a belly-button hernia, but thank you for being humorous about everything you write because that makes me feel better about my life and all the weird things that happen in it.

    Except not belly-button cancer, that’s too weird even for me.

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  335. Only you can make a bellybutton hernia funny as hell. Good luck. I hope you heal quick.

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  336. That’s a bummer. Now where will you place the salt, when you eat celery in bed?

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  337. Thank heavens it’s just a hernia, because I couldn’t remember what color ribbon to wear for Belly Button Cancer Awareness.

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  338. Does anyone remember that shitty TV show Kyle XY? The guy had NO belly button. It’s like Kyle, somehow, gave you his belly button so now you have two belly buttons. sweeeet. I feel like two belly buttons should come with some sort of super power?

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    Donna recently posted The Median Income at a Slayer Concert Is Food Stamps.

  339. You seem to have a hernia, will get better over time

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  340. 343
    Betsy Weaver

    I’m pretty sure you need to make a video of your Umbilical Jack-in-the-Box.

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  341. Only you could make a hernia gut-busting hilarious, Jenny… only you.

    Like

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  342. 345
    mommydoc

    Mary Jane Stepmeier: Wow, what an unprofessional, invidious, uninformed and snarky post. Most fascial closures at the umbilical port are closed with 0 vicryl, at least on humans, so the suture is completely absorbed in 8-10 weeks. Since this started showing signs after about 8 months, it was clearly not suture breakage or knot failure, which presents in the first 10 weeks as a dehiscence. Most likely, Jenny has weak fascia secondary to systemic steroid use from her RA, an unfortunate but known potential complication of corticosteroid use. In fact, this may not even be a ventral hernia at all, but a congenital umbilical hernia which has expanded secondary again to poor fascial integrity, since you may not be aware that the ports are often not placed through the umbilicus but through a separate incision, depending on technique. For pelvic surgery, I place my port slightly subumbilically.

    Additionally, you have a vastly inflated impression of what physicians are paid. The surgeon’s fee for an umbilical hernia repair is likely in the $1000 to $2000 range. In Texas, Medicaid pays $650 TOTAL for all prenatal visits, delivery and postpartum visits combined. In California, we get a princely $1050. By comparison, I paid veterinarians $6000 in the last month of my beloved cat’s life for an ICU stay, thoracentesis, cardiac echo and transfusion. Given the tax rate, that represented 12 pregnancies I cared for in their entireties. You can practice after 4 years of training. I had to do 8. Which includes doing surgeries under supervision for 4 years. It is only AFTER 4 years of training before we are allowed to make an incision or suture deep tissue, so that “first year resident” is already an MD and has had 4 years of training.

    You have a surprising inferiority complex. Most physicians are in awe of veterinarians given that you have to know anatomy, physiology and pharmacology to the extent that we do, but for multiple types of animals, and we all know that it is harder to get into veterinary school than medical school. I sure hope you don’t speak to your own doctor with that mouth.

    Jenny is funny because she is whimsical, self-deprecating, and ironic. Your post is mean-spirited and not remotely funny.

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  343. 346
    mommydoc

    Jenny, sorry to stink up your house. I’m just sick and tired of the whole doctors-are-egotistical-uncaring-moneygrubbing-hacks-who-don’t-know-anything-and-would-sell-their-soul-for-a-plastic-pen-or-free-slice-of-pizza. I will still read your blog (just not the comments) and I will continue to by your book for all my friends and wait impatiently for the next book.

    Because deer sweater.

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  344. Dammit, I laughed so hard now I think I have a hernia.

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  345. I hope your intestines aren’t acting up today.

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    Michelle recently posted Amazing Graceless Goes Full Geek.

  346. …“incarceration greatly increases the risk of strangulation,” but I don’t think we were talking about the same thing….” Bahhahahhaahahaha. Oh Jenny. I agree with some of the others…. you might have caused an epidemic “outbreak” of belly button protrusions.😀 And PS… definitely get the Doc to write that note.🙂

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  347. Oh… and to Julie Smith… maybe the poster is of Raquel… or a bombshell from here and now. Catherine Zeta Jones…Anjelina Jolie or Pamela Anderson, maybe? STILL giggling.

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  348. The Who from Whoville almost gave me a hernia. I’m dying. My side hurts. I might throw up. LOL. Congrats on the non stomach cancer, just plain old hernia.🙂

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  349. Take care, lady! Oh and your tummy tuck dreams may come true, because I feel bad for you, hernias hurt.😦 Get some good meds

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  350. Your blog is by far my favorite part of the day.

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  351. I also had a hernia when I was a baby and my parents also taped a quarter to it and I guess it worked cause my belly button has always been normal. Maybe it only works as a kid? Wierd. Hubby had one a few years ago but he had to have surgey.

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  352. I seriously do not understand why you didn’t immediately think it was an Adipose trying to go home. I’m sorry. We can’t be friends anymore.

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    That Nerdy Girl recently posted Stop planning. Start doing..

  353. My now 20 year old nephew had one when he was little (he grew out of it). He could pop it in and out at will. The problem is, on a 16 month old, when they are reaching inside their diaper to play with their belly button, that is NOT what anyone else thinks they are doing.😉

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  354. My husband currently has a belly button hernia (and surgery scheduled, because no one wants strangulation!). I just sent him this post so he would know that he wasn’t alone. I’m also hoping that he will tape change to his belly.

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  355. I had to peruse the 355 previous comments to make sure no one did this yet… but I am happy to have the honor to present you with the sympathetic musings of one Weird Al :

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    tanktronic recently posted Right or Happy.

  356. I’ve had one of those for the last few years, since there’s no point in having it repaired when you’re a stay-at-home mom with a toddler who won’t be able to abide by after-surgery weight limits, and I haven’t had the opportunity to get it repaired since the toddler de-toddlerized. Mine is named Ferdinand.🙂 I hope you’re able to get things cleared up soon!

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  357. I hope you’ve given yourself the pleasure of listening to Bill Cosby tell his childhood hernia story. Best Wishes!

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  358. Hahaha…belly button selfies. Three cheers for belly button selfies! That’s bound to start a new trend.
    Good luck with the surgery!

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    Megan Delaney recently posted Aim Before You Squirt….

  359. I’ve always known that my psyche wanted to ditch me around the next corner, but I never considered that my internal organs might want to escape too. I am holding way too many hostages. I think your intestines should be happy to be warm. What are their chances on the street really?

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  360. Hey! I had my gallbladder out a few years ago and I have scars but never got an outie. Sorry you have to have surgery. I wonder if gallbladder issues are related to autoimmune arthritis. I have ankylosing spondylitis and my gallbladder defected (was defective). I bet it’s related. It’s like, stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Except it’s your immune system.

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  361. 364
    heatherwilliams

    I have this, too, and your post is making me do something about it. Thank you for your public service. Wishing you luck on Friday!

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  362. Jessica, you have missed your calling. It’s like you are in my head.

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  363. Ok so it’s 3am and I had a legit concern about my belly button which I sort of repierced today after a year without which led me to your blog…..I read your whole long, weird story which had nothing to do with my belly button, but I loved your writing! Pretty sure I’m gonna buy your book in the morning when it’s not 3am. Good luck with your little Who!

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  364. In my mind im thinkin omg how you describe it is like funny the pictures of your bellybutton popping out lol🙂

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  365. I’m glad you diagnosed it as a hernia. Thought it was something that was going to take you away from us cool 😎 folks…. BTW, I love your belly button…

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  366. A) You are funny. B) Good luck, I hope you get better and I’m sorry you have a hernia. I have one too (I think) (that’s what brought me to your blog-post), but I’m ignoring it.

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  367. I have had an umbilical hernia for well over five years. I used to be an innie, and soon my belly button was flush with my stomach. Then it started popping out, very slowly over the course of five years or more. Now it’s the size of a jumbo marble… You know, those larger marbles that are about the size of a loonie (Canadian dollar coin). I’m scared it will rupture, and I’ve seen photos of ruptured hernias, and it’s gowd awful gross! Needless to say, people probably die from that. But when I saw the doctor about surgery, he told me it would probably tear again because of my large belly. So basically, lose weight. I’m probably going to die soon!

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  368. You are hilarious!!!! Best post. Keep posting. I hate my doctor. She didn’t even check mine she just told me to get a sonogram. Lazy ass😒

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  369. Just wanted you to know that because of your blog post I made my husband go to the doctor right away when his belly button popped out just before Christmas. The internet was right! He has a umbilicial hernia, too. We are scheduling to surgery soon. Fingers crossed that there is no belly button cancer!

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  370. 373
    Anonymous

    Cute! I wish mine would do that!

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  371. 374
    Anonymous

    I stumbled on your blog by Googling something about “belly button turning out” after “adult umbilical hernia” didn’t give me what I was looking for. I am sitting here laughing, out loud, by myself.. I work in the medical field. It is also 12:30am, and I’m supposed to be studying for a high-stakes exam tomorrow. I’m not sure which contributing factor it was, but this was hilarious.

    Thank you for brightening my day with your sarcasm and humor. I’m glad you didn’t have belly button cancer too!

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  372. This was a hilarious post! Glad everything is alright

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  373. i am 13 and i think i have a hernia but i am to scarded i might have to get surgery i dont want to get surgery i am so terrified and i just wish there was some kind of medication for if can u plz tell me what they had to do to u and if you were asleep did it hurt after u woke up i am so so so terrified to een tell the doctor i mean after all im only 13 i am litterly crying right now is there anythin i can d to make it frezze or make it just go down

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  374. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I love your writing! And now I’m going to the doctor to check out my suddenly expanding belly button.

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  375. […] UPDATED: My belly button has popped out and I’m not … – UPDATED: My belly button has popped out and I’m not pregnant. Is this normal or am I dying? Seriously. […]

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