A few days ago I wrote about comforters that make you into princesses and flamenco dancers and impossible astronauts, and I suspect that’s why today I got a targeted ad for this:
It’s like a Slim-Goodbody snuggie. And I don’t entirely understand it but it seems somewhat helpful because when zombies break in to eat you they will probably just shuffle off disappointedly because it looks like other zombies have already eaten all your good stuff. Also, I sort of like that the corpse is plus-sized. You almost never see that in a corpse. In fact, I expressed interest in being an extra on The Walking Dead last season but then I was told they were only casting for super skinny corpses because the zombies have been decomposing so long that they’d be super thin. So once again, all the good roles go to the thin-enough-to-be-dead people. I had a point with this but I have a sinus infection and I’m on a lot of cold meds. I need a hot toddy. And a corpsey comforter.
Both of them plus-sized, if you please.