Women Who are Ambivalent about Women Against Women Against Feminism

in more than meets the eye

So...yeah.  Right now there’s a lot of talk about a tumblr called WomenAgainstFeminism.  It’s just pictures of some women holding up handwritten signs entitled “I don’t need feminism because...”  Some of the reasons they give for not needing feminism almost seem like a parody (“How the fuck am I suppose to open jars and lift heavy things without my husband?”) and some (“I don’t need to grow out my body hair to prove I’m equal to men”) just make me wonder where in the world they got their definition of feminism.

At first I considered starting my own “I Don’t Need _____ Because” tumblr with people holding equally baffling signs.  Signs like:

I don’t need books because YOU KNOW WHO WROTE BOOKS?  HITLER.  HITLER WROTE A BOOK.  NO THANK YOU, NAZIS.

I don’t need money BECAUSE I HAVE A CHECKBOOK, ASSHOLE.

I don’t need air because LOTS OF IT IS FARTS.  I’M NOT BREATHING FARTS.  YOU BREATHE FARTS.

But then I remembered that I’m too lazy to make a tumblr and that this whole thing was a bit ridiculous. Here’s the thing:  Do you think men and women should have equal rights politically, socially and economically?  Then you’re probably a feminist.  There are a million tiny aspects of this to break off into and I get it.  It’s complicated.  There’s not just one type of feminist, just as there’s not just one type of Christian or Muslim, or man or woman.  Hell, there’s not even just one type of shark.  Some are non-threatening and friendly.  Some get sucked up into tornadoes and viciously chew off people’s faces until that guy from 90210 stops the weather with bombs.  (Spoiler alert.)    The point is that sharks, much like feminists, are awesome, and beneficial, and the world would be a worse place without them.  Plus, they’re incredibly entertaining and even if you sometimes think they’re dicks for eating cute seals you still yell “HOLYSHITLOOKATTHAT!” when Shark Week comes on.  I think this is a bad analogy.  Lemme try again.

Feminists are like bees.  They are adorable and fuzzy but people run away from them because they don’t understand that they just want to make things good.  We’d be fucked without bees.  Seriously.  And yes, some bees are assholes and maybe one killed your great-uncle and there are some that you give the side-eye to when they start acting crazy but eventually you realize that you have to take the good bees with the bad bees and maybe just be picky about what honey you choose to eat.  Eat the raw honey, by the way.  It’s way healthier.  That last part isn’t part of the analogy.  It’s just good advice from my great-grandfather (beekeeper).  Also, like bees, feminists secrete a non-edible wax and are easily distracted by smoke.

I’ve lost my point.

Wait, no.  I’ve got it again.

Feminism is inherently good.  It’s not even close to perfect and still needs lots of work and sometimes it gets all fucked up and backward and awful but that doesn’t mean it’s not still worth fighting for.  Now go back and replace “Feminism” with “The human race”.  It works, right?.  That’s because feminists are made of human.  Men and women.  In fact, one of my favorite feminists is Sir Patrick Stewart.

Patrick Stewart, feminist. His mother made 3 pounds 10 shillings for working a forty hour week in a weaving shed. She was also an abuse victim and he’s an anti-domestic violence advocate.
Patrick Stewart, feminist. His mother made 3 pounds 10 shillings for working a forty hour week in a weaving shed. She was also an abuse victim and he’s an anti-domestic violence advocate.  More at the bottom.

I’m not saying you can’t choose to not be a feminist but know what you’re choosing.  Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs of a group.  Don’t get defensive if you get deeper and are exposed to difficult ideas about intersectionality and race and gender and colonialism and patriarchy and male liberation.  Just listen.  Some of it will make sense.  Some of it won’t.  Some of it will later when you’re a different person.  Some of it you’ll change your mind about throughout your life and the world will change too.  Some of it is bullshit.  Some of it is truth.  All of it is worth listening to.

And now you get to decide.  Are you a feminist?  Yes?  No?  Well, don’t worry because tomorrow you get to choose again.  And that keeps happening every day for the rest of your life.

As for me, I am a feminist (among so, so many other things).  I believe in equality and I think we still have work to do.  I’m thankful to the men and women who worked to give me the freedom and rights I have today and I am proud to be a part of a movement that I hope will make the world better and safer for my daughter (and for the men and women she’ll share that world with).  I’m happy we’ve come so far and I’m glad that we’re becoming more aware of feminist issues that don’t just focus on straight, white women, even though confronting those issues is sometimes painful. And I’m happy that the womenagainstfeminism tumblr exists.  Because even though I disagree with most of them I’m glad that those women have a platform on which to speak, and also because if we know what the arguments or misperceptions are against feminism then we can better address them.  Or agree with them.  Or ignore them.  Or discuss them with our sons and daughters so they can make informed decisions for themselves.  It’s up to you.

We’re all equally deserving to express our opinion.  After all, that’s what feminism is all about.*

*Or maybe not.  I got kinda confused after the shark analogy went sideways.

554 thoughts on “Women Who are Ambivalent about Women Against Women Against Feminism”

Read comments below or add one.

  4. Feminism IS inherently good. Some people have just given feminists a bad reputation, but most feminists (and bees too. And even sharks!) are decent folks!

  5. Feminists are like bees, and I’m pretty sure that many of the people who think they don’t like feminists have mistaken them for yellowjackets.

  7. You don’t have to DO anything to be a feminist, other than to believe in equality, which isn’t even special. It’s just EQUAL.

  11. This is brilliant. Thank you. Today I happened to post a brilliant short french film that shows what life is like for women these days, via a thought-provoking gender reversal. You might like it.

  13. Good heavens, I love you so much. You manage to say it all so nicely. Is it okay if I still punch idiot women who claim to be against feminism?

  16. Without feminism, the women on the tumblr feed would not have a voice to
    express why they don’t need feminism. Heavy!

  22. I agree with everything you said about Feminists, and everything you said about sharks.
    Sometimes, being a face eating shark seems like an overreaction, sometimes it’s the only way to make people pay attention… To sharks. That is. Not feminists. The ONE TIME a feminist eats someone’s face everyone is all “LOOK! Feminists are ALL batshit!” And the rest of us are like, “No, I’m not WITH her.”
    But I’ve lost my train of thought.
    Summary, I think you are SUPER GREAT. And so does the SUPER GREAT White.
    https://twitter.com/theliz13/status/444280096770101249/photo/1

    PS That Meme is perfect for almost EVERYTHING.

  24. I never totally understood how women who do things like vote, have jobs and are allowed to file criminal complaints against abusive spouses don’t identify as feminists. It wasn’t that long ago that none of those things were possible before the feminist movement. I’m sad to see that so many women think that feminism is about believing that women should be treated better than men. But I love you for posting this.

  25. I have been editing my next post and its about Feminism, as I finally became a card carrying feminist…..and you nailed the whole thing about being a feminist….now I have to go back and edit my post again….

  27. I believe I’m a feminist because I am one of the only women working in my company. I work in a very male dominant place, however it’s also difficult being there. I’m either too masculine or to feminine depending on who you talk to, when all I am is me doing my job. I have to put up with the boys club but they cry if I say the F word. I do a lot of things on my own that my dad did for the family when I was growing up. I don’t consider it mans work but work that needs done. I want a better world of equality for my children, but it will take some time and someone (probably me at my work) to stand up for it. I’m okay doing that, it means other women won’t have to fight and show others that it’s okay to stand up for themselves . Now about the sharks or was it bees? Anyway I don’t need underwear cause it keeps giving me wedges…and to the men at work…Fuck Fuck Fuck…I feel better!

  28. I love you. This is such a beautiful and according explanation and you are so right. Keep doing you–you are AMAZING!

  30. It’s true. I use my secreted wax to make feminist candles that I sell at festivals.
    And in all seriousness, thanks for this post. We need more like it.

  31. I never get close to posting anything like this on Facebook (basically, because I’m a coward), but this is the best explanation I’ve ever read. THANK YOU AGAIN.

  33. Jenny! Literally the only way this post could have been better were if Sir Patrick (forever dreamboat) were wearing his lobster costume, which I understand is out of your control. Of course I also understand that might’ve taken away from his gravitas. Might’ve.

  34. I’m a nurse. I love being a nurse. It’s about all I ever wanted to become. But if I’d have wanted to be a mechanic, pilot, first minister of my country, I’d have liked the same opportunities as anyone else. That’s what being a feminist is about. If I can’t open a jar, I’ll ask my husband, because he’s stronger than I am. Not because I’m a woman and he’s a man. (which is a lie because I do the jar opening in our household, because I’m stronger btw) For me feminism is about equal opportunity, equal pay for equal work. Not about if a man is or isn’t supposed to be a gentleman (always, as long as the woman behaves herself like a lady)

  35. Jenny, this is so fantastic! Especially because usually relating ideas like this gets a lady called a “feminist killjoy.” Also, the only way this might’ve been more fantastic were if Sir Patrick (forever dreamboat) were wearing his lobster costume. Of course, I understand that might’ve taken away from his gravitas. Point being, fantastic, even sans lobster.

  36. I think it’s absolutely adorable that you put the “Spoiler Alert” disclaimer after the spoiler. I heart you.

  37. Love this! I think that generally, women who say they are not feminists, are completely misunderstanding what feminism is – they’re defining it was man-hating. The more we point out that it’s just about believing in equality, the more people will understand. And in some respects, maybe it doesn’t matter what we call it, as long as we believe in it.

  38. I’m an animalist. And a feminist. I think sharks are super cool. And Jenny, you da bomb.

  39. Jenny, WE, as a whole of feminists and non-feminists, as a nation of beautiful and not so beautiful women, agree. I keep waiting for the punch line. Oh, there is none. I still love you. Your friend, Laurie F. ps. Teach Hailey the right way to act, to talk to deal with Life. I have done that with my son and daughter and that is the most proud I am of anything.

  40. Excellent! I’ve seen some good responses to the tumblr post but this is by far the best. Way to represent Jenny!

  41. Feminism isn’t that simple anymore though. Nothing is, really. It’s associated with all the things that people have done in it’s name, and it’s true that feminists shouldn’t have to answer for the crazy people building bombs, but what about the people just being really shitty? I called myself a feminist for years, but I found over time that saying that was taken by some people as an invitation into their personal club of bigotry. They would take it as a cue to shittalk marriage or childbearing or men in general and then smile at me like I was going to agree because I was a feminist and obviously I should agree. And you know what, I don’t think that this kind of response of “well, feminism is rainbows and happiness and you’re a feminist even if you’ve never heard of the term because other people decided you were!” is an appropriate or responsible way to respond to the people, myself included, who have ventured into the feminist community and gotten burned.

  42. Seems like every time I turn around, someone is being labeled, and no matter the label, it brings with it a bad connotation. Environmentalist, right-wing, liberal, tea-partier, shark, white, black, Italian, boy, girl, feminist, animal rescuer. Can’t we all just get along and sing kumbaya around a campfire?
    Great post, Jenny.

  44. People think they hate feminism because of a few very vocal people who call themselves feminists have some radical views about rape culture and the patriarchy, so they think all feminists are ugly, hateful, and hairy women that blame the patriarchy for everything. It’s just a dumb stereotype that dumb people are going to keep promoting.

  45. I agree.I think. I secreted a little wax while I was watching the smoke. Yes, I agree.

  46. This makes me want to snorkel but in a totally indifferent to all creatures way, not just with sharks…all fishies welcome.

  47. I don’t consider myself a feminist because, as a cause, it addresses only one aspect of the actual problem. It’s like saying, “Don’t be cruel to this one kind of person.” How about just don’t be cruel to anybody? We could all live happily ever after with only two laws and solve this and a lot of other problems in the process. 1) Everyone has the same rights, and 2) your rights end where your neighbor’s begin. That covers anything one might try to force on another without telling people how to live their own lives. It’s pretty much perfect. It’s not that funny, though… sorry about that. <3

  49. Thank you so much for this. Thanks from the sharks, and the bees, and from this feminist, who reads books even though Ann Coulter supposedly wrote one.

  51. I love that not only are you funny, but you are smart, too. Both those reasons are why I follow your blog. I’m a feminist. But my husband as big hands so he’s way better at opening jars. I’m okay with that.

  52. Thank you Jenny, time to share it with my feminist 13yo daughter. You are brilliant, love you and your work for articulating what I cannot.

  53. I need feminism because my future daughter deserves to be paid the same as her male coworkers, even if she needs help with a pickle jar. Even I need help with those some times. And I don’t even like pickles.

  55. Every time I see that particular picture of Patrick Stewart, I think it’s an action figure. Because it totally looks plastic. Even with the groceries in his hand.

    There needs to be an action figure of Feminist Patrick Stewart. With groceries.

  57. The wax secretion is an oft-overlooked aspect of feminism. Which is a shame! It makes for such great candles and soaps!

    It’s like a built-in fundraiser product.

  58. I had some long, thoughtful comment that somehow got eaten by the Internet…so let me just say this…everyone is entitled to their opinion – and not every one is right – but equality IS right. So there’s that.

  59. I come from a long line of shit stirring feminists. So from my Great Grandmother, who was a Silent Sentinel and was arrested for protesting outside the White House to my daughter, who has strong opinions on the subject as well, THANK YOU for putting this out there. And btw , Sharknado is aweseome–I’d rather be a feminist shark if I had to choose.

  60. @CyraEm: “I don’t think that this kind of response of ‘well, feminism is rainbows and happiness and you’re a feminist even if you’ve never heard of the term because other people decided you were!'”

    Let’s not get the definition of feminism confused with everyone’s choice in deciding if they are feminist or not. YOU get to decide if you are feminist or not, NOT other people.

    BUT…other people decided what the term “feminism” means. There’s this book called a “dictionary” that is the deciding factor in what words mean…whether you like those meanings or not. In this case, “feminism” means “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.” You don’t get to make up your own definition that conflicts with this one (of course, many people define feminism for themselves in more SPECIFIC ways, but generally those particular definitions are still in agreement with this one main/general/umbrella definition. I’m not saying you can’t have your own form of feminism, but if it’s completely at odds with the official meaning of the term then that’s no longer feminism), but of course this is a free country and everyone gets to decide if they are feminist or not *based on this definition.

    Chaos would ensue if we all got to assign our own definitions for words willy nilly. Like I can’t suddenly decide that I’m a Christian AND I do NOT believe in Jesus. That doesn’t make sense. Because of the official meaning of the word “Christian,” I cannot decide I am one if I do not believe in Jesus. I CAN decide if I choose to be a Christian or not.

  61. You are talking about the feminists being dicks for eating cute seals, right? Wow- who knew- I only eat cows… But, yes, when I do see some of their crazy posts, I still yell “HOLYSHITLOOKATTHAT!” And, when Shark Week comes on.

  62. Exactly! KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CHOOSING…

    Are there feminist who hate men, sure! But that doesn’t make feminism about man hating…

    Feminism is not misandry.

  63. In college I was asked what women want, my answer was, we all want something different, because we’re individuals.

    I love that the Dalai Lama XIV is a feminist too. To me, a feminist is someone who sees everyone as people.

  64. I get really frustrated by this whole issue. What is there to NOT agree with about equality between genders? What?

  65. So…we see that Patrick Stewart is a feminist, we see that he’s holding a sign. But what about the plastic grocery bag in his other hand??? The environmentalists are going to have a field day with that.

    Great post. Well said. Even the tangents. You don’t give a hang about your tangents, which is admirable. I would have edited the heck of them, and removed some vital life blood in the process.

  66. Thank you, Jenny. Simply wonderful. Though I have to admit… the double, triple and quadruple negatives at points made my brain boil a bit.

  67. I decided to be a feminist when I was about 9, and I don’t think I’ve decided any differently since then. But probably that is because the time of day when you get to decide happens in the morning, and I’m either asleep then or really grumpy.

  70. This is perhaps the best explanation I have seen of what feminism is, or isn’t, in a long time of working on “women’s issues” (that’s people’s issues, by the way). Thank you.

  71. Laura said: “Feminists are like bees, and I’m pretty sure that many of the people who think they don’t like feminists have mistaken them for yellowjackets”

    This! Exactly! Very well said.

  73. Honestly I began to call myself a women’s rights advocate. Feminism carries such a bad connotation in the world, that our younger generation, who support every social civil rights cause, overwhelmingly says that they are not feminists. I think we need to take a hint. If we want to call ourselves feminist we need to disassociate ourselves from the fringe elements that have taken over the movement or start our own “feminist advocacy.” It’s not that people are against women’s rights or equality. It’s that those who have taken over the feminist are so hung up nit-picky crap while the average women in the country merely want to be able to buy groceries/clothes, pay the bills, put a roof over their kids heads. The average woman needs help and support for their everyday lives and are not interested in the elitist crap spouted by the feminist groups. FWIW- when one of my son’s professors asked his class to raise their hands if they were feminists, my son was the only one in a class of 50 to raise his hand. His school is predominantly female.

    BTW, bees worldwide are dieing out. Colony collapse is a real issue and it effects our ability to grow fruits and vegetables. Your analogy between feminists and bees seems to have many meanings.

  74. You’re killin’ me, Smalls.

    “Spoiler Alert” needs to come BEFORE the spoiler.

    Assface.

  75. This is a brilliant response. We feminists ARE like bees!!! Love it.
    Buzzzzzz little feminists, buzzzzz…

  76. If it’s okay with you, I think I’ll assign this to my students this semester.

  78. I concur with Aislyn. Everyone should be fighting for equality for everyone. Not just women. All sex all race a lol genders and sexuality.

    Also, I have a big problem with those women who seem to lash out at and publicly shame those being accused of sexual abuse, rape, harassment, etc, without first looking at the evidence. In some circles I run in, this seems to happen a lot and I’m sorry but I’m still a skeptic and is still need to examine the evidence first.

  79. I’ve been a feminist (and a lover of all things shark) since college in the 1960’s. I even married a militant feminist. He led a group in a takeover of the University of Georgia Academic offices FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS on campus. Things changed overnight for women at UGA due to his efforts. I’m not sure he did it because his heart was broken by the sight of poor senior students still having to live in dorms or, more likely, because he never met a human rights cause he wasn’t ready and eager to take up the fight for. He’s that kinda guy. So, there you are. My love of activists and top predators has stood me well for years. I also love an improbable movie plot as much as the next aging hippie.

  80. That was so eloquently said. The fact that you threw in a Sharknado reference made it even better. Thank you for explaining the basic concept of feminism and how everyone benefits.

  81. Amen, sister! It really irks me when I hear young woman say they’re not feminists for some stupid reason or another without giving the slightest thought to all the women–yes, feminists–who came before them that fought for the rights that they take for granted.

    Hey little Miss Not-a-feminist, do you enjoy being able to get an education, own property and have the right to vote? If so, then you clearly don’t understand the definition of feminism and you owe some thank-yous to the women who fought to get these rights for your sorry ass!

  82. You know…I’m a fairly new reader to your blog, but I have to say you entertain me everyday. And some posts, like today, just make me stand back in awe. Loved it.

  83. All women are feminists by simple virtue of being female. Unless these Women Against Feminism would like to return to having the same status as say, a piece of furniture owned by the closest man related to them, or perhaps they would enjoy being disallowed from owning property or possessing money? Or maybe go back about… oh, a mere hundred years and take the vote away from them?

    You are hilarious, and so right. Where did these women get their definition of feminism from anyway? It is curious how ‘feminism’ became a statement of aggression at worst, or an “I hate men” reputation at best.

    It would be comical if it were not so tragic. Wait. You DID make it comical. Hahaha!

  85. Agree. Even more so because of the Sharknado reference. See, even the sharks get it. Or something like that.

  86. I agree that women should be able to pick up big-ass chainsaws and use them to cut flying sharks in half lengthwise. Or something.

  87. You know, I am for equality and I feel like there is too much violence and negativity towards women. And that does must be actively opposed and changed. But I don’t call myself a feminist because I do feel there is more to feminism than simply gender equality. There are some ideas and principles connected to feminism that not everyone is going to agree with even if they aren’t included in a general definition of the word “Feminism.” These ideas and principles do color the dialogue surrounding gender issues and I really think it is why some women do not want to identify them as feminists.

    Two principles of feminism that I have been able to isolate (and that I don’t agree with) are: a) that women are oppressed by the patriarchy; b) the traditional female role (homemaker, stay-at-home mom, whatever) is inherently unequal and oppressive. This is of course, totally my opinion, and I could be better informed on the subject. But I run into serious issues with point b) as I feel this leads to a problematizing of children and the mom role. It isn’t just radical feminists that seem to adopt this view, either. Like I said, these points of view color discussions about gender and gender equality. As much as I can side with female activism (and Sir Patrick Stewart) I just can’t get past my serious disagreements with what I feel is encompassed in the word Feminist.

  88. ” it’s true that feminists shouldn’t have to answer for the crazy people building bombs, but what about the people just being really shitty?”

    Not them, either.

    It’s probably no coincidence that it’s on tumblr. there is a tumblr brand of feminism that does seem…more dedicated to “calling people out” for “bad behaviour”. But because some people are sanctimonious on the internet it doesn’t mean they represent feminism, or that’s what feminism is or means.

    Your treatment by ‘the feminist community’ (?), while regrettable, is completely irrelevant to what feminism actually means.

  89. I am not a feminist…I am a humanist. I believe as human beings we should all have equal opportunity to fuck up or enhance our lives as we see fit. If I have to join the feminist movement to be a humanist, then so be it, the message is the same…the term feminist is why there are misconceptions regarding the movement. That’s why I say I am a humanist.

  90. Sam above nailed it. A feminist is someone who believes that men and women should have equal rights. Period.
    It’s just like calling yourself a Christian. Some people will say that they cannot do so because the odious Westboro Baptist Church claims to be Christian. Just because some people define a term doesn’t mean that it is the correct definition!
    “I’m not a feminist, but…” has been around for a LONG time. Let’s have the cojones (what’s the female equivalent?) to embrace the label!

  91. YES! Yes yes yes yes yes YES! You explained it all perfectly!

    And Patrick Stewart is my favorite feminist, too, among other things. He wins in all kinds of categories!

  92. I love that you can write equally beautifully about political issues and depression and taxidermy collections and giant, metal roosters. Keep fighting the good fight. “We all do better when we all do better.” -Paul Wellstone

  94. Okay so I clicked the link because I was like OMG I’M TOTALLY AMBIVALENT but this post doesn’t really seem ambivalent and now thanks to the squiggly red lines I know for a fact I don’t know how to spell ambivalent and I’m like, let’s just let those four chicks be like F*** FEMINISM because the rest of us get it but then I feel like I’m not supporting “the cause” or is it “THE CAUSE” …. yeah, I’m ambivalent about everything but really I think that women who hate feminism just haven’t talked to someone non-crazy that could explain it in a non-threatening way.

  95. I’m really into humanism because I’m down with humans and also feminism because (gasp) women are also humans…weird?! Joanne Q. We have big ovaries and they intimidate people 😉 Great post!!! Yay, for lady power, man power, horse power, the power of Christ, The Power of Love (Huey Louis and the News), steam power and she- hulk smash…I don’t know how that last bit got in there.

  97. This is my FAVORITE post on this blog in maybe forever (and that includes the whole Beyonce event.) Thank you for putting words to what so many of us feel, but can’t explain as eloquently as we’d like. Also, I never even considered how much of my air was made of farts. Now I am having anxiety about breathing, so thank you for that.

  99. Been a feminist my whole life. Scared shitless of sharks since Jaws. Love bees. And you. Great post.

  100. I work really hard to keep my worship of you healthy and manageable , but you are testing me with this fucking brilliance. Luckily Texas, Texas is right, right? Luckily it’s far away and I am deathly afeared of air travel, else I’d be like some lovesick hound guarding your house.

    Thank you from the bottom of my honey and feminism living heart.

  101. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to say *spoiler alert BEFORE you ruin a plot twist. You do everything wrong, but it’s probably just because you’re a woman. (Me too! That’s why we’re the best, although you’re funnier than I am (and funnier than everybody else))

  102. For those leaving the comment that feminism is only for women that isn’t true feminism helps men as well and its sad you don’t understand that.
    http://everydayfeminism.com/2012/08/why-men-need-feminism-3/

    For all those saying I don’t like to call myself a feminist because it has a bad connotation, well do you not you think that having people that aren’t extremists can only help a cause. Saying you don’t want to be called a feminist(when you are) that is like saying well i don’t want to call myself christian because westboro, or muslim because of some terrorist, german because of nazis or I don’t wanna call myself human because well humans are assholes. Well yeah there are assholes and extremists in every group and unfortunately they are usually the most vocal but it doesn’t have to be that way

    Feminism is for the good of everyone its not females trying to say they are better or trying to knock men down.

  103. Oh for fuck;s sake…why did I look at the women against feminism hashtag? Well..and then tweet about it.

    Did you know that people are upset about a coffee mug that says ‘Male Tears’ and that is why feminists are so bad because WE ALL HAVE THE MALE TEARS mug.

    A coffee mug? Really??? I know I keep mine between the ‘world’s greatest dad’ mug and the ‘I visited Gatlinburg, TN and all I got was this mug’ mug.

  104. I think women are the superior gender according to science, but since my personal experience says otherwise, I’m all for the equality stuff.

  108. You are so awesome.

    I think it’s not so much that these women aren’t feminists — they are. But because the word has taken on a “bad meaning” (much like the equally good and yet even more maligned “liberal”), many people who ARE feminists don’t want to be CALLED feminists. There are other such words which have become expletives in our language when they really weren’t meant to be, which is how us old folks find ourselves giving offense when we’re just trying to describe something.

    There was a Bloom County strip, years and years ago, that put it all so very succinctly (said it all in six perfect panels) which basically pointed out that everyone is offended by something and it’s all “offensenitivity” which comes to border on the ridiculous, and leads to such things as “I don’t no feminism because” BS. Clearly, all women who are strong, passionate, and proud are indeed feminists, as are men like Sir Patrick who support such women. (Ha! Found it: http://www.hsoi.com/resources/offensensitivity.gif I love the Internet.)

    By the way, today is National Junk Food Day. Indulge, you deserve it.

  109. @liz
    for a) that women are oppressed by the patriarchy;
    this is true take a look at our government and how women are policed the regulations on our bodies or hey Ill even give you a few examples from my own life
    1st example i worked for a company where i did not interact with the public and worked on my own in a cubicle I was downgraded in an evaluation because i didn’t smile enough and because i didnt wear enough make up When I asked my male coworkers who come to work grumpy and looking like they had been sleeping in their clothes if their appearance factored into their evaluation all of them said no
    2nd one different company after telling one of my subordinates they needed to redo something they had done incorrectly I was told i needed to say it nicer because men don’t expect women to speak so bluntly and when i pointed out my male coworkers do this all the time and usually a lot ruder than I had done I received the well they are male so people expect this from them. So i have to walk a fine line between being a pushover(which during same job I was told i was too nice) and being too pushy where as the men in same positions faced no such problem

    As for B this is totally untrue
    b) the traditional female role (homemaker, stay-at-home mom, whatever) is inherently unequal and oppressive.
    Most feminists feel if you want to be a housewife and mother this is fine but that it is equally fine if you dont want to be a house wife or if you dont want to be a mother or if you want a career and motherhood feminist reject the idea that every woman has to be married and have children to be complete

  112. Your post should be the charter for the #NotAllFeminists hashtag (if one doesn’t already exist)

  117. It’s kind of rude to tell some what they are and are not. If they decide to use the label humanist, rather than feminist, don’t argue with them. Just be glad you’re both supposedly working towards the same goal.

  119. Yes! Who wouldn’t believe in equality! So yay feminism! Especially renowned feminist leaders like Professor Mary Daly who advocated a large reduction in the population of males!

  122. I think feminist are like so many other things in life. Like my daughter’s teachers…….loved all of them so far, the teacher’s union, not so much. Since this is my least offensive example I will stick with it. But I can use one my friend would use. She like me. I am a Christian and Republican. She does not however like the Right Wing as a group. Feminists one on one are usually awesome, with one exception that I have met so far. But as a group, they tend to become something else, more militant and bossy…oops not suppose to use that word anymore. So there is my two cents I am for what feminism should represent, but not for what it becomes when politics gets put in the mix.

  123. YAY FEMINISM! I hate seeing people go “I’m a feminist, but…” NO! NO BUTS! Just be a loud and proud feminist!

  125. Brilliant. Thank you for articulating better than I would have my exact feelings (I would have lost myself entirely when the shark analogy played up). Amazing.

  126. I think feminist are like so many other things in life. Like my daughter’s teachers…….loved all of them so far, the teacher’s union, not so much. Since this is my least offensive example I will stick with it. But I can use one my friend would use. She likes me. I am a Christian and Republican. She does not however like the Right Wing as a group. Feminists one on one are usually awesome, with one exception that I have met so far. But as a group, they tend to become something else, more militant and bossy…oops not suppose to use that word anymore. So there is my two cents I am for what feminism should represent, but not for what it becomes when politics gets put in the mix.

  129. It took me over thirty years to realize that hell yeah! I’m a feminist! And here you put it all so perfectly. Now I know where to direct my non feminist friends!!

  130. “Some get sucked up into tornadoes and viciously chew off people’s faces until that guy from 90210 stops the weather with bombs. (Spoiler alert.) ”
    Just wanted to let you know…the spoiler alert is supposed to come BEFORE the spoiler, not after. You are doing that wrong,

    But seriously, I love you!

  131. “Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs of a group.” Wise words for ANY cause. Every cause needs advocates that keep people on message. Great post!

  133. As an old bra burner from the 60’s I say “You go, Girl!” We have come so far and yet…..I fear for my granddaughters. Equality…why is it so difficult for so many to understand?

  134. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. Your post got me all sorts of angry at first (at woman who think they don’t need feminism) and then I chilled the fuck out with your witty, intelligent explanation.

  135. Brilliantly written; and the story of my present stitch should leave at least some space for the imaginative “why” … 🙂

    Kindly let me add two points.

    First of all, everybody has to understand that equality of gender is plain simple malarkey or however that might be termed in English. Or, in a more distinguished choice of words, an oxymoron. Gender defines something which is different from each other, and, if something is different, it cannot be equal. As much as it may be wished otherwise, women remain women and men remain men.

    What should be discussed, and rightly so, are equal rights to men and women, or e.g. equality in regard to the human spiritual faculties and all the rest of it.

    Thus, please, these two things should not be confused with each other.‎‎

    Yesterday, in reply to a comment on my blog, I wrote:

    >I sincerely believe that one of the most important steps to start moving towards a better world is to change perception or awareness, as tiny a step as that might occur. In order to change perception, the topic we are talking about, should be clear; i.e. there shouldn’t exist any misunderstandings regarding our language or terminology. And in order to agree upon the correct terminology, such terminology needs rectification. Already Confucius (551–479 BC), in his Analects, most beautifully emphasised this point, when he spoke about the rectification of names:

    “If names be not correct, language is not in accordance with the truth of things. If language be not in accordance with the truth of things, affairs cannot be carried on to success. When affairs cannot be carried on to success, proprieties and music [i.e. the arts] do not flourish. When proprieties and music do not flourish, punishments will not be properly awarded. When punishments are not properly awarded, the people do not know how to move hand or foot [i.e. don’t know what to do and what not]. Therefore a superior man considers it necessary that the names he uses may be spoken appropriately, and also that what he speaks may be carried out appropriately. What the superior man requires is just that in his words there may be nothing incorrect.” — Confucius, Analects, Book XIII, Chapter 3, verses 4-7, translated by James Legge. <<

    The second thing I wanted to mention, pertains to history.

    In reality, what generally is called feminism, comes more than 1,400 years late. How so? Because it was Islam (and also being the only religion BTW) which established a perfect body of precepts – giving full protection to the rights of women, making them equals of men, both in the spiritual and religious spheres of life, giving them an independent position, granting them proprietary rights, and making their responsibilities and rights part of the divine law. Consequently, when one wants to learn about those golden times for women, the early times of Islam cannot be crossed over.

    Wishing you a succesful and enjoyable week,
    Salva

  136. The problem with any ‘ism’ is that it involves people. And some people just aren’t happy unless they are pointing out the flaws in others. But you are right, it all of our right to voice our opinion, and I am thankful we are able to do so.

  137. Confession: When I was young (early 20s or so) I liked to proclaim I wasn’t a feminist. Part of it was just me being a contrarian to get attention. Another part was the stereotype about feminists being unattractive and man-hating, which were bad to me since I was at a time in my life when I measured my worth by whether men were attracted to me. Fucked up. But true.

    Now, I know better, but I try not to get too enraged by those woman saying (with signs) the same stupid stuff I was saying 20 years ago. The only difference was that I didn’t have an audience of thousands seeing me on some web page.

    I hope that like me they learn that feminism is not a bad word, that it is something to be embraced not shunned. Or maybe not. LIke you said it is a choice.

    Thanks for being so smart.

  138. I for one think sharks should have as many rights as bees. Well, okay, I say that, but in truth I am way more laid-back about bees hanging around my yard than a shark. Though I will abandon my car if either one are in the back seat.

  139. DID NOT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LOVE YOU MORE. thank you thank you thank you. PS, I read your book and it made me cry and laugh a lot.

  140. Maybe some of you should actually read other feminists posts. There are TONS of feminists posting right now with articles about how women should have more rights then men. You can say all you want that people bashing feminism don’t “get” what feminism is about, but our retort will be that YOUR GROUP can’t even agree what it is about. Preach to your own people first then come talk to us ok?

  141. Well, that was stupid.

    “If you believe in equality, you’re a feminist!”
    “If you dig deeper into feminism, you may find yourself asking harsh questions”
    “KNOW what you’re choosing!”

    Look, you’re just wrong. Feminism started out great, and now what is it? Women who are actually treated as lesser in countries are ignored in favour of American feminists whining about the wage gap (not real), men who prefer women to shave their legs and armpits, a lack of women in video games (hello, male-dominated market segment) and other total non-issues.

    Feminism is a POLITICAL MOVEMENT, not an ideal. Do I believe men and women should be equal? Yeah. Still not a feminist because I don’t put women above all else. Because I believe men and women should be EQUAL, which feminism simply does not do. Remember when the woman who founded several shelters for battered women was sent death threats and was attacked by feminists just because she wanted to set up mens’ shelters? Yeah, you don’t, because you don’t give a rat’s ass.

  143. I am a feminist. I think I am also a shark. But the fuzzy nice kind, not the eat your face off kind. Just sayin! You rock, Jenny. Keep on keeping on.

  144. I am not against women being treated equally. I am for the rights of women (and men and people of different races, beliefs, etc) and everything else, like the end of violence against women. What I am against is people telling me I should should be offended by something because omg it is sooo bad and is against women and all that. I am an adult. I will decide whether or not something offends me, thanks.

  145. You rock! I am glad that there are other people out there that are, well, paying attention. Thanks for that! You reach and influence a lot of people and you make them laugh too.

  149. Great column. That was delivered with just the right amount of humor and reality so it was fun to read. Such a timely piece for me since I just had a moment of I’m a stay-at-home-mom-who-chose-to-stay-home-but-still-cannot-believe-the-inequality-going-on-still moment recently. Sometimes I feel like I’m an oxymoron but most of life is, right?

  151. I love this post, Jenny. I just want to add that I think that one of my greatest issues with current women’s issues discussions is exactly this tendency towards having women slam other women for one issue or another, such as breastfeeding, for example (something you’ve addressed here before, actually). I think it’s a serious problem: instead of turning against each other in this contemptuous sort of way, shouldn’t we be talking? Sharing real information, real facts, real ideas, not ad hominem attacks? I dislike seeing attacks on what “feminists” think when often it’s far from what I genuinely do think, and I proudly consider myself a feminist.

  152. Fabulous voice – I am a feminist; have been for over 55 years – grew up with an older and younger brother, I had to be if I wanted in on anything! I grew up in a small country town – smart boys went on to the city and high school; all girls stayed home and married – early! My parents gave me an educational opportunity like my brothers at great expense to themselves, and we were not rich – and because of that I became a teacher. Because I wanted to – I could have been a lawyer – it really didn’t matter to them as long as I made the most of my opportunities. I was and am a feminist because of all the reasons you so eloquently put forward Jenny. And I marched in the 60’s too! For the equal rights we still don’t have – although we have them better than a lot of other woman around the world. I still march for them – perhaps not physically any more but in spirit and in voice and in social media when I can….well done you!

  153. To Opinionated Man: that’s the point. There is no one group. We are individuals with individual beliefs based on individual life experiences. Jenny’s point was to not use a wide brush to paint every feminist the same. We are not the same and there are always extreme views in any labelled group. The problem is with what a label means to an individual and how you interpret what it means to them. And it isn’t “our group” since no one owns the concept. Equality is equality and shouldn’t be based on a person’s sex, race, religion, education level, martial status and any host of other labels that are used to separate and demean other human beings.

  158. First time commenter here, but I couldn’t resist after reading such a fabulous column. My personal take on feminism is more along the lines of equal rights, equal opportunities and equal pay for equal work. I think that everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc, and we should live and work in regard to those. Some jobs are better suited to a certain physique (e.g. laboring on a building site) that lean towards suiting men, but that shouldn’t exclude a woman if she is able to manage the workload safely. In the UK many years ago, a heavily pregnant woman applied for a job in a shop, the duties including lifting heavy boxes, climbing ladders, and so on. The shop owner explained that he couldn’t hire her because he didn’t want to put her at risk in her pregnancy and declined to offer her the job. She sued him and won, because she said it was sexual discrimination. I despaired then, and I still despair today at some things going on.

    I am bringing up my children (boys and girls) to believe that they can do any job they want to, providing they are prepared to put in the hard work to get there.

    I like bees, and I like sharks. As for the spoiler, I haven’t seen Sharknado. I couldn’t understand why people didn’t just move out of the way when the sharks landed on the ground, because sharks can’t walk.

  159. Yes yes yes. Thank you for this post. And thank you even more for the Sharknado references. It could possibly be the best blog post on the internet right now because it says everything I’ve ever wanted to say so well (and even the feminism stuff). And that was before I understood what you were saying about bees.

  161. Thank you for this post! I never knew Patrick Stewart was so amaze balls!!!!
    Also, If you are ever bored and feel like laughing and sometimes getting your hearts warmed, my mother, Jill Shapiro Durham, is an EXCELLENT writer and has even been published! She has a website/blog where she pretends to be a psychic with a sliiiight alcohol problem, named Madame Zuchini, and it is friggin Hilarious. So if you wanna laugh your ass off while reading ridiculous predictions about your future, go to her website! I’m leaving her link at the end of this comment.

  162. You make every day special by just your being you. And like another hero of mine, Fred Rogers, you are a mighty AND gentle soul imbued with love and good humor. I love you Ms. Bloggess!

  163. Vortices of hairy-pitted, Patrick Stewart-loving sharks. A Steve Sanders hell bent on destroying feminism. You have effectively planted the seeds of a sleepless night.

    Fantastic post.

  166. If feminisim is just about each gender having equal rights, socio-politically, and economically then it should absolutely drop the divisive label, feminism and call itself egalitarianism. If it is only concerned with one vector of that relationship, and therefore hopelessly biased, then it can keep its divisive label and make sense.

  167. Dear Jenny,
    Thanks for writing such an awesome, approachable post about such a complicated subject.
    Your fan the super-femme feminist,
    Morte

  168. Well, hell. I’m a feminist and didn’t know it. Let this be our little secret, shall we?

    Seriously, though, Jenny, this should be required reading for every man and woman (and child). It lends a simple, non-threatening spin to something that by its very nature should be simple and non-threatening. What’s wrong with treating people of every gender/sexual orientation/race/creed/etc. with the most basic of human rights: respect.
    Thanks for sharing your gift. You just keep doin’ what you’re doin’.

  169. your tweet popped up as a text (I love you even when you have days where you kill my phone battery, btw) and as a beer-drinking, football loving, card carrying feminist (even if only they can’t seem to pry it away from me) with a grad certificate in women’s studies who is at the end of a 14 hr long awful day of cat herding, I have to admit… I winced.

    But thank god I clicked anyway. Beautiful words, Jenny. Truly and astoundingly beautiful and relatable and everything that I believe feminism at its heart is and ought to be. Especially the stuff about the sharks. Oh. and the bees. headed to the kitchen for some raw honey now…

    Thanks as always for using your powers for good.

  171. Thank you! This made me laugh, think and nod my head in agreement over and over. I love the way you express things so perfectly.

  173. This is such a concise, easily understandable post about something that I generally just angrily wave my hands around about and don’t manage to explain to non-feminists. I am definitely sending this to my father, and several of my “I believe in equality but I’m not a feminist” friends.

  177. I’m not a huge fan of labels — because where there are labels, there are always stereotypes and judgement. That being said, I’m all about equality — I don’t think anyone should be considered (or consider themselves) better than anyone else simply based on gender, or race, or religion, or money, or power, or anything else. I’m also all about respect — unless someone chooses to be an asshole — because I’m not about being belittled or abused.

  178. “Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs of a group.” That is a great quote to remember and apply in all kinds of situations – thanks for writing it!

    Other people might think I’m a feminist, in some ways, though I don’t fit neatly into any category. I just decided a long time ago to always assume that the word “man” means “mankind” or “humankind,” and that nobody was going to tell me I was excluded – unless, that is, it was a specific reference to the male gender. The result of thinking this way is that many times I don’t perceive the barriers that others do, as far as employment that’s appropriate or what talents I have or even how I relate to other people. I’m a human being, just like they are, and I enjoy getting to know people as the unique individuals that we all are, and I hope others will do the same with me, but if not, oh well whatever. Seems to be working for me so far, and I’m most of the way down the road.

  181. I really want to hold up a pointless sign and upload the picture for everyone to laugh with me, except then I’d notice I forgot to hold my stomach in and my hair is doing that thing so I wouldn’t upload it and then I’d be disappointed, which is what chocolate is for, so thank you for giving me the idea so I can just skip it and go straight for the chocolate. Oh, yeah, and feminism is way better than shark week.

  183. We can squabble about what to call it or who’s in it or what they did or said in its name if we want, but doing so does not affect the merit of the idea itself.

  188. in some point in my life i’d love to meet a feminist shark, or i will become a shark so that a feminist shark is around. for science.

  189. I am a feminist and a stay at home mom because I chose to stay at home. And I had that choice because of women before me like my great grandmother who got her college degree in 1907. And like her daughter, my great aunt, who graduated from medical school in 1946.

  191. My daughter insisted that she was not a feminist, said that the movement is too belligerent for her. So I got her books to read. She was still not impressed, the feminists are crazy! she said. I introduced her to things like Women’s Suffrage, still she resisted. They are greedy! she exclaimed. Then we stumbled across an article that said the Olympic Committee had said that women boxers would be required to wear skirts due to them being more feminine and elegant. I have never seen her get so red and angry. WHY!? she asked. Why do they need to be elegant to beat each other up?… She still does not identify as a feminist, but not nearly as emphatically. Love this post

  192. Feminist and equality are not one and the same always. The feminism being criticized is that which asserts that women inherently have more rights than men, for example, not getting the same punishment for the same crime or getting a job due to gender rather than experience because of equal opportunity causes. Granted, the latter are wonderful because there is workplace bias that favors men, but no sex is better than the other, thus feminism itself isn’t a term I would ever want to identify with. How about equalist? Feminism made sense when women had less rights than men, but we are now equal and even have greater benefits. Thus it’s time to recognize that all humans deserve the same treatment and to stop favoring one gender over the other as feminism implies.

  194. Oh, and I did find this whole blog quite awesome and totally agree with your message. I didn’t mean to imply that Hitler is somehow more relevant than feminism and equality, it’s just that, well, between Hitler and shark week, I couldn’t stop giggling. So really, it’s kind of your fault if I failed to truly appreciate the point of your blog, since your hilariousness was all distracting and such. Except now i went and sounded all offensive at you, which is totally uncool since I basically kinda think you’re my hero of awesomeness. So, yeah, sorry about that. Damn, this went downhill fast.

  196. Thank you, this is perfect. Also, bees and beehives are this huge ridiculous mess of imagery in mormonism (which I was raised in), and it’s always been frustrating to me because it’s like the mormon mythology tainted bees for me. This is sad for obvious reasons, the primary one being that bees are awesome — so I really appreciate that you rescued them as a relatable analogy. Thank you so much.

  197. Awesome as always! I love that you can convey the message with humor. Also, since no one else has said it, and it’s all I’ve been thinking, “Covered in Bees!”

  199. Brilliant! I was trying to explain why we need feminism to my 11year old son last night. I didn’t think to use sharks! Thanks.

  200. You probably won’t even read this because you’ve had way too many replies, but just want to say I agree and I appreciate you. Thanks for being you and for being absolutely hilarious (except for this post which was righteously serious).And I bought and read your book and it was awesome so next book please 🙂

  203. Awww, I hate to disagree with you, because I totally appreciate everything you say, but modern day anti-feminists are NOT against traditional feminists (like yourself) who fight for equality, but against modern-feminists, who are actually fighting for female superiority, and calling it equality.

    Oh, and I’m not a feminist. I appreciate what my forebears did to get me the vote, but frankly, that was enough – I don’t need any more than that. I’d love to live in a world where men weren’t so afraid of feminists that they felt they can’t be chivalrous.

  204. The radical elements of a movement end up defining it in many peoples eyes. If you cannot confront such elements, and in fact, very few feminists even attempt to because either they’re afraid to or they regard them as a core part of the movement, they will end up causing those who do not agree to leave. Like the women against feminism.

    I certainly believe in equality but I stopped calling myself a feminist several years ago. Just as I exited from the christian church I was (at least nominally) part of when it failed to confront homophobic christianity in an entirely different branch of christianity.

    Feminsm has a choice. Either make it known to the radicals in no uncertain terms that they are not welcome to define themselves as feminists as they’re dragging the name into the mud. Or lose those who believe in equal rights.

  205. “…..and some (“I don’t need to grow out my body hair to prove I’m equal to men”) just make me wonder where in the world they got their definition of feminism….”

    They got it from feminists holding idiotic signs about why they need feminism.

    “…Do you think men and women should have equal rights politically, socially and economically? Then you’re probably a feminist. …”

    Feminism is provably not about equal rights. If you think it is then try making a list of all the unequal rights that happen to disadvantage men and give women unfair privilege that feminism is actively campaigning against.

    I totally agree that feminists SAY they are about equal rights, but that’s just because SAYING that a very good way to convince naive, impressionable and well meaning people to support and fund feminism. The Nazis said they were all about the empowerment of Germany (after economic collapse), celebrating German culture and defending germany from outside threats. And honestly who could argue with that? That was how the Nazis were able to recruit normal, well meaning Germans to support and fund them.

    There is a big difference between what movements and cults SAY they are all about when recruiting new members, and what they are ACTUALLY about when you look beyond their outer facade.

    Do you think the Nazi comparison is over the top? Here are some quotes from prominent and influential feminists – none of whom were thrown out of the movement for saying these things (ie they are not just crazy people claiming to be feminists).

    (just imagine if it was white people talking about black people, or Germans talking about jews)

    “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.” — Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor.

    “To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.” — Valerie Solanas, Authoress of the SCUM Manifesto

    “The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness…can be trained to do most things.” — Jilly Cooper, SCUM

    “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” — Marilyn French, Authoress

    “The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

    “When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.” — Sheila Jeffrys

    “All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.” — Catherine MacKinnon

    “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.” — Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There Is One – Is Female.

    And then there was the recent case of the feminist professor who claimed adult women staff having sex with underage boys being held at a detention facility was NOT rape because underage boys cannot be raped. LINK This obvious ‘rape apologist’ was not condemned or disowned by the feminist movement (because who cares about the rape of boys right?), nor was she kicked out of the university. There were no protests and her stance was defended by fellow feminists who made threats against her critics.

    Feminism is about more than just saying you ‘want equality’ and blogging and debating social etiquette and arm hair. Feminism is BIG BUSINESS for a start (in this respect it is not unlike other cults like scientology). And high profile (and well funded) feminists have a massive influence on education and many areas of political policy all the way up to the UN level.

    Are you aware of what these influential feminists are up to? Probably not. As with most cults the majority of members are kept busy repeating feel-good mantras and they really have no idea what cult they have actually joined or what the inner core of the cult actually get up to.

    Girl Writes What rant : for the “nice” feminists

    “….Feminists are like bees. They are adorable and fuzzy but people run away from them because they don’t understand that they just want to make things good. …”

    How can you say that when feminism’s ‘patriarchy theory’ literally defines men as sociopaths who have deliberately oppressed women throughout history. How is that adorable? That is hate speech is it not?

    Does this kind of talk seem acceptable to you?

    “As a woman I am sick of male oppression. And don’t anyone try to deny it. Just look at the number of men in positions of power and authority. The figures obviously prove men are oppressing us women and don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. I am proud to be a woman so get over it men! I am sick of walking home at night and fearing being attacked by a man. That is why I will always cheer for women and fight against male oppression. I am proud to shout “Girl power!””

    What if we swap gender for race?

    “As a white person I am sick of black oppression. And don’t anyone try to deny it. Just look at street crime figures for any city. The figures obviously prove blacks are oppressing us whites and don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. I am proud to be white so get over it black people! I am sick of walking home at night and fearing being attacked by a black person. That is why I will always cheer for whites and fight against black oppression. I am proud to shout “White power!””

    Still find it adorable and fuzzy?

    There are many genuine issues that need addressing in society. But depicting men as superior, sociopathic, oppressors and women as weak, child-like, inferior victims is a hateful and destructive lie which achieves nothing positive at all. It just causes hatred, mistrust, apathy, confusion, fear and unhappiness.

    (It’s easy to find – over the course of so many years of Women’s Rights activists – extreme quotes from particular feminists that most feminists would disagree with. I know lots of amazing Christians but it’s easy to find abhorrent quotes that some radical Christians use to stir up hate and fear, or who murder people in the name of religion. I support the men and women who fight for the rights of minorities but I don’t change my mind because there are a few people in that movement who’ve said white people should be exterminated. I have Muslim friends whom I love and are kind and wonderful, and the actions of radical terrorists don’t convince me that my friends aren’t wonderful. I love the amazing men and boys in my life even though I can easily find evidence of men saying terrible things and committing atrocities. Ditto for women and girls. The average feminist is like me. I support equality and I don’t think we’re there yet so I continue to support areas where I don’t think we’re equal. That includes gay/trans rights and minority rights and bringing attention to issues involving the disabled and even to men’s liberation. Don’t hate an idea just because you can find some hateful quotes by individuals. You can’t find any movement/party/group that doesn’t have people on the radical ends of the spectrum, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t say that you support the feminist idea that women should not be given less rights than men. You can find Christians who scream horrific slurs at funerals of soldiers and you can also find Christians who use the Bible to defend murder or oppression or whatever, but most Christians are pretty nice people who want to do good things and who feel embarrassed at the crap that some people spew in the name of their organization. I’m probably not going to convince you, but I hope that you’ll at least realize that most people who consider themselves feminists believe in equality for all. ~ Jenny)

  206. Bloody well put. I think I just fell a little bit in love with you, I was already in love with Patrick Stewart. (Well, that was awkward….)

  207. Katy – hate to break this to you but those ‘modern-day feminists who are actually fighting for female superiority’ ACTUALLY DON’T EXIST. You appear to have been drinking the MRA kool aid.

    Also – Chivalry????? How do you define that – Do you mean it as in a) ‘having manners and being nice’? Or are you talking about b) being condescending and treating women as though they are weak or incapable?

    No feminist has a problem with a) – it’s something we can all get behind.

  208. I see the current backlash against feminism in the same light I see the folks who deny their kids vaccinations to keep them healthy. When you have grown up in the current world and don’t remember a world before all this, haven’t experienced the lack of what you have now, it is harder to understand the importance. You have never watched a child die of pertussis, or been told you can’t have a job because you will just quit when you have kids anyway, be turned down for a promotion because the man applying has a family to support, seen the dozens of tiny leg braces lined up for the kids who had polio…
    It is fortunate that the world they live in is better than it was. But that does not mean that the job is done. And it definitely doesn’t mean we should reverse course and go back to how it was. Nobody wants that, right?
    Feminism is simply the radical idea that women are people. Pretty simple.

  209. I think in a lot of ways, the problem is the name.

    Feminism – by what it is supposed to be about – is about everyone, regardless of gender, having equal rights. At least, I assume so. :P. It’s just that at the moment…It is unequal, against women. Women’s rights need the attention, because they are worse off.

    Fine. But what does the name suggest? The name suggests Women’s Rights Above all Else. The name suggests Female Supremacy. (Or..possibly discrimination against women. Yay, English).

    The backlash is against what the name suggests, not against the desire for equality.

  211. I like everything about this post. Feminism, advocacy, persuasive argument, Patrick Stewart, sharks, and bees. Everything. All it’s missing is Copernicus the homicidal monkey (my all-time favorite post on here); do you think he is (was) a feminist? I bet he’s equal opportunity with his “hugs.”

  212. Almost started crying at work watching that video…

    And you are absolutely right. I think some of the backlash comes from people being made to feel uncomfortable by having to confront their privilege (I know I’ve lashed back in the past…)

  213. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, I am a feminist because I’m a female. It would be stupid to be against my own kind. Great post!

  214. I think that many see feminism as the extreme of the definition because we basically have equality (broadly) thanks to those people that have preceded us. We can sometimes take equality for granted, forgetting those who fought for it as well as forget those women in many other countries who live in a much stricter version of western societies in previous years and those in their country who risk their lives fighting for what we have.

    Like you say, no-one is right or wrong and I choose to see the the women against feminism as celebrating our equality.

  222. Brava, Jenny! This important topic has benefitted from your influential (and hilariously funny) voice weighing in on it.
    slow clap

  224. And THAT is why we love you and will never let you leave. Not in that creepy Kathy Bates “Misery” way, but just really, really wanting you to stay and write lots more way.

  225. I’m not sure if this qualifies me as a feminist or not, but I don’t think men and women should have equal rights. Equal to each other is fine with me, just not equal to every other man and woman. Stupid people, both men and women, should have fewer rights and I should get to decide, or at least vote on it. I don’t want to spend all day doing it, just on an as-needed, case by case basis.

  227. I think I became a feminist at the age of 7, when I realized that my friends, who were boys, got trucks and trains to play with and I didn’t. So, for almost 54 years I’ve been making noise. My message today is – don’t get complacent, there is still much work to do. It’s just sad that after all these years we are still having to fight for our equal place in the world.

  229. I don’t know why we have to apply a label of “feminist” to someone who wants equality. I want equality but I’m not a feminist any more than I’m a “masculinist” or a “blackist” or a “whitist.” Gender and race should have no bearing whatsoever when determining social status, rights, or privileges.

  230. (Envisioning a shark dressed as a fuzzy bee on Halloween asking for candy with those huge teeth…)

    You have added remarkable thoughts to the ongoing discussion, and I am laminating this post for posterity. I should probably print it out first as it’s probably not good to laminate an iPad.

  231. “I don’t call myself a feminist because I do feel there is more to feminism than simply gender equality. There are some ideas and principles connected to feminism that not everyone is going to agree with even if they aren’t included in a general definition of the word “Feminism.” […]Two principles of feminism that I have been able to isolate (and that I don’t agree with) are: a) that women are oppressed by the patriarchy; b) the traditional female role (homemaker, stay-at-home mom, whatever) is inherently unequal and oppressive. ”

    The thing is, though, those aren’t “Principles Of Feminism”, in the sense that “if you are a feminist you must also believe [foo]”. You will find some feminists who believe that, yeah, but you’ll also find plenty who don’t (raises hand).

    This is what Jenny means when she compares feminists to sharks or bees. Some sharks are Great White sharks that will eat your face, and some are little sand sharks that don’t do anything but freak your kid brother out when he catches one when you go fishing and you say “whoa, you caught a shark” and he nearly throws the whole pole back overboard. Some bees are killer bees that swarm and sting the crap out of you, and some are honey bees that make honey. Some feminists believe that shaving legs means you are brainwashed by the patriarchy, and some believe that “hell, it’s your body hair – you get to decide if you want to shave it, cornrow it, dye it fuschia or whatever.”

    Saying that you’re “not a feminist” because you happen to disagree with what one subset of feminism thinks about a tangential issue is kind of mistaking the forest for the trees.

  233. FYI: Spoiler Alerts go before the subject you about to spoil, not after.

    Love

    Victor

    PS: I’m not really Victor, but I am channeling him. You’re welcome.

  234. I don’t think we need any “ist” in the world, we just need people to not be assholes. I think this is why the tumbler thing bothers you because you aren’t any kind of “ist” you just try hard to not be an asshole.

    “ist”‘s are putting people into categories or filing them into a specific area and in the end we are all human. We can all have our faces eaten off by a shark.

  235. Oh, I just want to add that I really, truly fear, loathe, and detest sharks. I get nightmares about them. When shark movies come out, I tremble. The ads everywhere make my life a misery because I can’t walk outside without seeing sharks plastered everywhere unless I close my eyes, and if I close my eyes while I walk then bad things happen. Like walking into a wall, opening my eyes in confusion, and seeing that I walked right into a shark poster. And then screaming until people come running over to rescue me, and then being looked at like I’m crazy because I walked into a wall with my eyes closed for no discernible reason.

    OK, that never happened, but that’s what I fear will happen so I just try not to leave the house when there are shark ads all over the place.

    So, point being: I can’t quite see the shark analogy, since all sharks are clearly inherently evil, but the bee analogy is totally awesome.

  236. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. No really. Thank you. I am a feminist who shaves her body hair and wears makeup and loves her (male) fiance, who also is a feminist. And I love this post. Sharing everywhere.

  237. Yes. Equal rights and opportunities for all of us under the sun. If that makes me a feminist, so be it…. I’m a beekeeper too, so I can go smoke myself if the topic gets too hot to handle.

  238. “Do you think men and women should have equal rights politically, socially and economically? Then you’re probably a feminist.” In western society, no matter what you think, we are equal. In some other cultures, we are not and yes, we should be. But if that makes me a feminist, I would probably jump of a bridge. Because all this holier-than-thou feminist crap I keep seeing all over is precisely why I’m against feminists, which does not mean I’m against feminism. Need an example? I love democracy, but I hate politicians who claim they are democrats because, you know, they are politicians. Feminists are not that different. They talk about change, but you can’t change shit because: a) there’s hardly anything you can change in western society (stop fooling yourself and acting like you are in the same boat as women from the beginning of the century) and b) you can’t influence other cultures like Arab world, India or other.

    There are bigger problems in the world, like gay rights, racism and religious hate. Sure, woman rights are a problem too, but real feminism died a long time ago, this nonsense is all about attention and entitlement.

  239. The very fact that women can say what they want and create tumblrs and have opinions–no matter how wrong–is thanks to feminists.

  240. “Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs of a group.”

    Please remember this if/when the subject of Republicans and/or the Tea Party comes up.

  241. Best argument for feminism ever! And, loved your reply to Spinning Difficulty. A very gracious reply.

  244. Holy balls. I want to plant a big ole kiss on the top of Patrick Stewart’s precious little head.

  245. I understand why the word “feminism” was chosen originally.
    I just wonder why we can’t use the word “equalism” now? Surely many of these are issues that impact other people on the gender spectrum, other races, other people in general? If the ultimate goal is to treat everyone like they’re awesome, doesn’t it logically make sense to use a more inclusive word for it?

    That’s always what’s bothered me by the word “feminist”….. it feels so exclusionary to my linguist ears 🙁

  246. Also, amazing article. I don’t know how you managed to do it but I don’t think you could have offended ANYone! 😀

  247. The world simply needs more people who think for themselves and make their own educated decisions. Not only do what SHE said to do or believe what HE said to believe.

    Like you said, we’re all different and all have different values and standards and that’s ok. But we’re all in this together and we all gotta live in it together.

    My daddy always said, “You can’t impose your values on others.” And he’s right. Do the best you can with what you have and the rest will take care of itself.

    Good Lord you made me get serious really early.

    I’m barely awake.

  248. Excellent post. Not sure about one thing. If a feminist threatens to sting me, should I blow smoke in its face? I’ve asked some women I know but they just looked at me strangely.

  250. I am a feminist and have been ever since I understood the term. The fact that it might have a negative connotation to some people is of absolutely no concern to me whatsoever. I am not here to please those people and be acceptable to them. For too long, women have been saying “Oh, you don’t like me this way. You want me to be another way? Ok, great. I’ll change myself to suit you.” Screw that.

  251. Feminism is called feminism because women are a marginalized group. When they’re not, I’ll happily call myself an ‘equalist’.

  256. Never read you before, but this was a fantastic post! Especially the distractions. My one quibble (with the essay, and a number of comments) is the notion that feminism shouldn’t be conflated with its most “radical” fringes. I have grown up, gone to school, and worked in some of the most radical environments in the hemisphere. Many of these environments were dominated by very strong confident radical women. But I have yet to meet this mythical “radical feminist”. I’m sure that Andrea Dworkin sightings are as common as Bigfoot and UFO sightings, but a poorly-argued chapter or two in a thirty year-old treatise nobody actually read is the lamest bogeyman in our collective culture. I don’t believe anybody associates feminism with non-existent “radical fringes” unless they are politically and socially motivated to do so. It’s akin to saying you don’t need to associate Obama with his communist Kenyan Muslim upbringing — the only reason people make any such association is because they’re racist libertarian assholes (sorry for the double redundancy there). Obama himself has nothing to do with it. And the only reason anyone would associate feminism with hairy crewcut deconstructionist professors at Smith wielding a penis-chopping axe and a restraining order is because they’re misogynist (or self-loathing) assholes — feminism, in all its nuances, has nothing to do with it.

  258. “But, of course, you might be asking yourself, ‘Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don’t know! I still don’t know what it is! I’m too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn’t up! I don’t have time to work out if I am a women’s libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?’
    I understand.
    So here is the quick way of working out if you’re a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

    a) Do you have a vagina? and
    b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

    If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.”
    ― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

  259. Can we just call ourselves “humanists” instead of “feminists?” I’m not just for equal rights with chicks, I think all humans deserve awesomeness and equality.

  260. And the chainsaw. 90210 guy used a chainsaw. And he saved bratty ex gymnast girl fake named after a crappy car. (not that I’ve seen the movie 37 times….that I’d admit to…)
    Also, when I don’t want to shave my legs in the winter, does that make me a cold feminist?

    And lastly, Mmm….Patrick.

  261. I believe in The Golden Rule. (And it extends to the workplace and pay.)
    I believe Men rule the world ONLY because women were busy doing everything else and left it to Men to pick up the slack. (It was only a matter of time that we’d get around to having a hand in that.)
    I believe radical feminism could have used a whole lot more honey to get what it wanted.(No one likes having things rubbed in their face. Unless they’re paying for that.)
    I believe women are hardest on other women, for no reason. (We don’t need to be, ever.)
    I believe in kindness and compassion and the good in (most) people. (Unless you drive like an asshole.)
    And I believe that we should put effort into everything we do. (Work, Fun, Family.)

    I don’t know if any of that makes me the definition of feminism, but I’m OK with that. I don’t need a label.

  262. As long as mainstream feminism continues to push the women-as-victim/men-as-perpetrator agenda in this ultra-gynocentric society that is the western world, they will continue to be frowned upon by strong, independent people of either gender.

    As long as feminism continues to exclude male voices – even those that may have a different take on the issue – from the discussion, they will continue to be frowned upon by strong, independent people of either gender.

    There are true equity feminists that understand this and argue against these orthodox, gender feminist philosophies in order to try to “kill the bad bees” (to use your analogy). Unfortunately, these people are often call anti-feminists – which demonstrates the orthodox nature of mainstream, gynocentric feminism.

    If equality is really the goal, there are a lot of different ways to get there. Some ways are far more divisive then others….unfortunately, for better or for worse, mainstream feminism has taken the route of being divisive.

    Hence why these women are saying they don’t need feminism….what they mean is they don’t need a movement to tell them that they are victims or “evil” to “toxic” masculinity in a society that has given them privileges the likes of which the world has never seen.

  263. “Sure, woman rights are a problem too, but real feminism died a long time ago, this nonsense is all about attention and entitlement.”

    Not surprising that the person who posted this is a man.

    Johnny: ask the women you know whether they’ve ever been catcalled, and ask them how it made them feel. Then tell them that you think that feminism is about attention and entitlement, right after you’ve got them thinking about having been harrassed, and see what they think of that.

  265. Holy balls, I’ve found someone that writes exactly the way I used to on my blog!

  266. By the way, Kate summed up my feelings earlier in this thread — “I never totally understood how women who do things like vote, have jobs and are allowed to file criminal complaints against abusive spouses don’t identify as feminists. It wasn’t that long ago that none of those things were possible before the feminist movement…”

    Again, AWESOME.

  267. In the words of Inigo Montoya, “They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.”

  268. BTW, “Are you a feminist? Yes? No?”
    No.
    No.
    Yes.
    At least I think that’s how to answer.

  269. Jenny Lawson, you are so awesome. I thought we needed a rhyme there… anyway, I love that you break it down sooo amazingly well. Thanks, for that. Now to get THIS blog post on CNN or someplace to educate the unwashed masses, amiright?!
    Labels are so uncool. Except that I am a proud Lawsbian. And a member of the Unicorn Success Club. And a mom and a daughter and a cancer survivor and an equal rights proponent and a feminist…damn, labels aren’t going anywhere any time soon. But at least I know what my labels mean.

  271. I love this post because you are absolutely right. Steve Sanders totally had to save us from the sharks by bombing the weather.

    Oh, wait. No, that’s not it. No, I agree with you that a lot of the people that think they’re against or don’t need feminism don’t actually know what they’re talking about in the first place. And that’s kind of scary. How can you be against something unless you understand what you’re against?

  272. Something came up on twitter the other day where someone asked why the word “humanist” isn’t a thing. And that’s such a great question- why isn’t it? I think many people (including myself sometimes) shy away from feminism because it sounds inherently defensive and single-minded. I am a feminist, because I am a humanist.

  273. 73 and still growing and learning and analyzing and sifting through ideas and information. I became a feminist after going through lots of bad things, and learned from it. There are many women who gave a great deal of time effort and some gave their lives so that we could have more equal treatment for women. Feminism is just basically saying women deserve equal treatment under the law. Women enjoy many benefits which were obtained by both women and men, and were hard fought. Any of you who want an education on what life was like for women before let me know! Love this article, it is right on!

  274. Feminism is, to me, wanting/hoping/asking that women to have the same social, economic as men. That has nothing to do with body hair, hating and/or loving men, or wanting to be a conservative pundit etc. etc. And so I think most of the people who shy away from the word really don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

  276. This is delightful and gutsy and true. Thank you, Bloggess, for cutting through the BS as you always do. And for casually tossing intersectional into the conversation, like it’s a word we all know. Because we should. ♥

  277. It’s just a word. I grew up in the 60s and fought the battle once already. We haven’t come very far when you look a many if not most women who prize clothing, being supported by a man, and spend thousands on make-up and workout “schemes” still. Women don’t make as much $ as most take time off to raise kids and are supported by men. True feminism for me is not having to be supported by anyone- government included.

  278. “Do you think men and women should have equal rights politically, socially and economically?”

    I don’t know what this means. I think all people should be treated equally by the law, regardless of gender (among other characteristics). Do I think all people should have equal political power? I don’t see how that’s possible. A Senator is going to have more power than a plumber, regardless of their gender. Equal social power? Does this mean we all have to have the same number of twitter followers in order to have the same impact? Equal economic power? Not unless you want to take away all money and give everyone equal paychecks from the government.

    If believing that all people should be treated equally by the law is enough to qualify then call me a feminist. But if you mean more that I’m going to need a much more clear definition of exactly what you DO mean.

    (In this instance “equal rights” refers to “equal opportunity”…that women have the same right to be paid the same as anyone else in the exact same position, that women have the right to run for political office and vote, that women have the same rights and opportunities to be successful and safe politically, socially and economically. It’s understood that men should have these same rights but there is an inequality between men and woman now (and a further inequality between white women and women of color) and without being aware of that we can’t make sure that everyone has their best chance to be a person. There are a million under-represented groups in the world. Women are just one. If you believe in true equality for all people then you are a feminist. You’re probably also a lot of other things but feminism is just one small piece in a larger puzzle that we have to solve. ~ Jenny)

  280. Thank you for writing this, it really needed to be said and quite honestly no else was saying better than you have here.

  281. “I am a feminist, BECAUSE I am a humanist.”

    Perfectly said, @brittanyssp!

  282. It’s so simple, if you believe in equal rights you are a feminist! Great piece, thank you!

  283. Great, I’ll be happy to call myself a feminist just as soon as you can guarantee that I won’t get my face ripped off for doing so while not keeping up to date on the latest thinking about intersection a little and the rest of it. As things stand, I’m hard pressed to keep up with the new things in my profession, much less all the other issues in the world.

  284. Exactly HOW do you stop weather with bombs?!? Now I know I don’t want to see the movie, just because I believe you can’t stop weather by blowing things up. And there is NO WAY I will get The Husband to see this movie. And I really loved the movie Twister. So disappointing.

    I guess that really isn’t the point to this blog though is it? Today I am a feminist, check back tomorrow, I may change my mind. Women have the right to do that you know….

  285. What’s so funny about this anti-feminism tumblr is that it wouldn’t even by possible if a long line of feminists hadn’t demanded an equal voice. It’s much easier to protest something (even something so silly) when you have a hard-earned podium ( internet, journalism, laws, education, salary, etc.) that someone else built for you.

  287. One thing to remember is that it’s on Tumblr… home to overenthusiastic radfem echo chamber dwellers who delight in misandry, think that women are inherently superior to men (no egalitarianism there!), and harbor a LOT of violent sentiment towards men. Those radfems — the ones who believe that any PIV sex is rape, that men shouldn’t be allowed to teach or work with children, and who even turn on trans men for being gender traitors — are a very vocal minority in real life, but they’re a huge force on Tumblr. I think THOSE are the feminists that women are reluctant to be associated with, not “real” feminists.

  288. Dang feminists!!!!! I’d love to sit on my ass all day and eat bon bons while my husband brings home the bacon…….’cept I make more money than him!!! lol! I dream of being Donna Reed from the Donna Reed show! What a great life! if only……..

  289. I want to give you some kind of an award because you managed to get feminists, Patrick Stewart, bees, raw honey and sharks in one post. Amazing:).

  290. I’m 59 years and at times in my life, felt so alone in my desire for equality. I grew up with sexism all around and messages that tried to diminish me, my word and my dreams because I was female. My heart often ached, watching my husband be acknowledged for all of who he was and I was his wife and mother to our three children. Luckily, he saw my struggle and joined me in the fight to recognized and respected as an equal. We are both proud feminist .

  291. You make the world better by being in it. Especially my world, which improves exponentially every time I get sucked into your weird and wonderful written wonderland. Thank you!!

  292. Rebecca West still said it best: “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.” True in 1913 when she said it, true 101 years later. Although I think the shark thing might become a classic quote on feminism too.

  293. That’s what labels do…they box people up. Hmm…I’m mixing my metaphors (apparently you are infectious, Jenny). People who can’t see past labels are dicks. Wait…I just slapped a label on idiots….oh crap, another label. Let’s just say that label isn’t libel…but it’s close…just one letter.

  296. Brilliant post! You put into words exactly what I felt when I came across that tumblr page. I couldn’t manage more than a ‘MPLBLARGH!?#!’ when I scrolled through the posts there.

  297. First: Right. On. Jenny. Thank you for that. Second: I think this calls for another one of your t-shirts. Could say something like “Feminism is Equalism” (stole that from Mark). I would buy and proudly wear it.

  298. God, I love you more than ever for this post! You manage to be funny but make sure good points, so clearly. You really are a star.

    (Gushing over now, sorry about that…)

  299. This article perpetuates the stereotype that nonradical feminists are condescending jerks who sneer at women refusing to identify as feminists. Is the writer of this article actually an anti-feminist woman who wants to make feminism look bad? How does nobody else see this?

  301. Some comments say that feminism should not exist here because American women have gained so much in this country. We have absolutely gained so much, precisely because of what feminists have done in the past century. That’s why I don’t consider “feminist” a dirty word. Will women, in other countries, who don’t have the legal and social rights we have, gain those rights without their own feminist movement? (PS, the day I don’t hear a man complaining when the word “feminist” comes up is exactly the day I won’t call myself one. And if modern American feminism is just about “attention and entitlement?” What, like the attention and entitlement wealthy men have been enjoying all along? Crickey, sign me up!!

  304. Just remembered something, just to toss out there. I’ve encountered several men who feel that women should arm themselves with guns to protect themselves from sexual assault, rather than expecting all men to be able to resist committing sexual assault. Isn’t that the same as when “radical feminists” claim that all men are unable to resist committing sexual assault? What label do I get if I think every woman and girl on the planet should be armed for her own safety? Gun nut or feminazi? Oooh, a conundrum!!

  305. The danger with any interest group is taking Innocent Definition A and apply it to Contentious Idea B. So for instance saying “feminism is believing that men and women should be treated equally.” Who can disagree with that? Then following it up with (just picking one example) “the Catholic church hates women.”

    Well, wait a minute. Those two ideas are hardly synonymous. But by making the false equivalency (not a hypothetical), if someone then says “well, I am Catholic and the church gives me comfort” they get the response of “oh, so you hate women?”

    That’s the onus for that anti-feminism tumblr, imho. It’s the consequence of aggressively political activists seeing the overwhelming support for “feminists” and trying to sneak new meaning into its definition, in an attempt to coax supporters of feminism into supporting their more controversial causes as well. It happens with all interest groups. And the result is always the same: instead of garnering more support for their controversial ideas, they corrode the support for what should be a noncontroversial stance.

  307. I just want to point out that the 90210 guy’s SON actually dropped the weather-altering bombs. For accuracy’s sake. 🙂

  308. I disagree. Being a feminist means not just thinking that men and women should have equal rights, but that women as of yet have less-than-equal rights.
    I think humans are all equally human and have equal rights. But I think women are the privileged gender in our society, so I can’t be a feminist. I don’t know about all the blogosphere wars, and I don’t care. But I don’t think it’s fair when people claim feminism is just about equality. It’s about redressing a balance, and if the balance was never off, redressing it causes more problems than solutions.

  309. I loved the article. And I’d urge you to take your own advice.

    There’s a lot more to rejecting tbe feminist movement than taking idiot selfies that proudly announce internalized misogyny and a breathtaking ignorance of history.

    I’m a woman who believes passionately in feminist principles. I’m not a feminist because I despise what the feminist movement has become. Considering the plethora of hand wringing in that movement over why Famous Female du Jour “won’t admit she’s a feminist,” I think I’m not alone in that.

    I do believe in equality. I don’t believe in pc thought policing or toeing party lines and I sure as shit don’t believe in indulging misandry.

    It was Everyday Feminism that killed it for me. If you want to look over their forum, I’m Storm. I’m sick of hearing “right, I forgot you care about men and their precious feelings.” I’m sick of being told I’m diseased because my perfectly healthy relationship with my body isn’t love. I’m tired of being told that I need to state my opinions less strongly, and maybe less frequently to “give others room to speak” like it’s 1950 all over again. I’m tired of ideological purity tests like the article Grammar Snobbery Has No Place in the Movement, where I was told to check my privilege when I pointed out that people trying to translate rely on  grammar and syntax and silly things like spelling with letters, whether due to unfamiliarity or AS IN MY CASE, atypical neurology.

    I’m tired of privilege being a weapon to silence people. I’m tired of trigger warnings meaning “this might mildly upset someone who never figured out how to deal with human society.”

    That’s not what feminism means to me. But apparently it’s what it means to The Movement (TM). That’s not a movement I care to be associated with.

  310. Here’s the thing, Bloggess: many feminists are not like you. Many feminists are not calm and collected and reasonable like you. If that were the case, do you honestly think people would object so strongly to what feminism has become? (And no, I’m not just talking about men, MRA’s, and so on and so forth. Women, too.)

    The internet in particular is filled with feminists that you, as well, in all likelihood, would loathe.

    You may say feminism is inherently good, but that really depends on what kind of feminism you’re up against – and for those who’ve come face to face with the extremists might not have the same idea of feminism as you do. I don’t call myself a feminist but I want equality too, believe it or not. And I don’t call myself a feminist because, first of all, if it’s about equality for both sexes, the term feminist is misleading. Feminism is described as the belief that men and women should be equal, but also an “organised activity in support of women’s rights and interests.” It’s not egalitarianism or humanism, in support of PEOPLE’S rights and interests, but of women. Women comes first. Second of all, it’s been tainted by radical idealogues who has turned it into a selective cult rather than a united movement.

    According to the Tumblr feminists, the reddit feminists, the Twitter feminists, the major loudmouth feminists, basically the majority of feminists on the internet with a voice, men can’t be feminists. They can, however, be feminist allies. Which raises the question: why should I become a member of a group that doesn’t really consider me a part of that group? I can be a humanist just fine, and I don’t have to worry about being called a humanist “ally.” Then, of course, there’s the various feminist theories going around that seeks to blame men for all the ills concerning women. I’m sure you’ve heard of them.

    I don’t know. In my experience, personally, considering all the pros and cons, feminism doesn’t appeal to me.

  311. Gena

    “Just remembered something, just to toss out there. I’ve encountered several men who feel that women should arm themselves with guns to protect themselves from sexual assault, rather than expecting all men to be able to resist committing sexual assault. Isn’t that the same as when “radical feminists” claim that all men are unable to resist committing sexual assault? What label do I get if I think every woman and girl on the planet should be armed for her own safety? Gun nut or feminazi? Oooh, a conundrum!!”

    It’s not the same and you’re making a false equivalence. Feeling women should get a gun to protect themselves from sexual assault, that’s just a precaution. It doesn’t make the case that men are unable to resist commiting sexual assault, but rather accepting the dreadful reality that many men do. (And women, too, but that’s not relevant right now.) Thinking every woman and girl should be armed for their own safety would be, I think, a bit overzealous, but a thought, I believe, derived from sympathy. It would also be highly impractical, but whatever.

  312. Reblogged this on YomimiYo and commented:
    I get inspired by lots of things and The Bloggess is one of them. Some people would find her rude and crude I suppose but I wouldn’t be friends with those people so I can confidently Reblog the latest from Jenny Lawson.

  313. Um. I think some of the people saying “I’m not a feminist, I’m a humanist” might be under the impression that feminism is for females, and humanism is for humans, and have not realised that humanism is already a pre-existing movement.

  314. I just freaking love you Jenny.
    I have a blog and I try to write, but more often than not… what I really want to do is just blog links to whatever you wrote and say… ‘you’re welcome.’

  315. “Um. I think some of the people saying “I’m not a feminist, I’m a humanist” might be under the impression that feminism is for females, and humanism is for humans, and have not realised that humanism is already a pre-existing movement.”

    Not remotely. Am well aware of the meaning of both feminism and humanism. I still don’t want to call myself a feminist.

  318. “According to the Tumblr feminists, the reddit feminists, the Twitter feminists, the major loudmouth feminists, basically the majority of feminists on the internet with a voice, men can’t be feminists. They can, however, be feminist allies. Which raises the question: why should I become a member of a group that doesn’t really consider me a part of that group?”

    Actually, the question it raises for me is “why are you accepting only THAT definition of feminism”? I mean, who died and made them Betty Friedan?

    That’s like writing off all of Christianity just because of how the Westboro Baptist Church and Jimmy Swaggart define Christianity, and if I did that I’d miss out on some awesome people.

  319. Haven’t read all the replies…so if this has been said, forgive me. But.

    Most of the young women saying they don’t need feminism have no idea what they owe to feminsits. In 1972, when I was in middle school, I wanted to take wood and metal shop. But I couldn’t. Because I am female. I was required to take Home Ec. (There may have been boys who wanted to take Home Ec…but they didn’t admit it.) You know why that changed? Title IX. Which was brought to y’all by… FEMINISTS. I was heartbroken when we failed to ratify the ERA.

    “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.”–Rebecca West.

  322. I believe in equality and I think we still have work to do. I’m thankful to the men and women who worked to give me the freedom and rights I have today and I am proud to be a part of a movement that I hope will make the world better and safer for my daughter (and for the men and women she’ll share that world with).

    Know what? There are masses of women that think the same – and they have decided to call themselves humanists instead of a gender demarcated -ist. Why? Because the cycle has come around again where the maniacs are trying to seize the stage and the microphone for their own self-absorbed identity politic zealotry and are embarrassing to watch – unless you become one of the targets they seek to destroy, both personally and professionally (the last time the cycle peaked was the “date rape” and “reclaim the night” hysteria that began in the ’80s – beaten back by women like Christina Hoff Somers, Katie Roiphe, Camille Paglia et al., who were as sickened then as the ones you discuss now).

    In case you haven’t noticed, the current noisiest self-proclaimed “feminists” have been attacking, en masse, the – gaming scene; open source community; tech industry in general; skeptics; atheists; even industrial music. That is a short, non-comprehensive list. Their malice has been truly indiscriminate – all it takes is to voice disagreement with whatever ideology they peddle, gender and sexuality are irrelevant. They have been silencing discussion (google “freeze peach” and “blockbot” sometime), getting people fired from jobs where they can, the bigger targets of independent means have been smeared as rapists and even pedophiles in order to poison reputations. Many, if not the majority, of their targets have been other women. And guess what? If you disagree with their tactics and speak up, then you too are the enemy. And you express surprise that so many rational and grownup women have been abandoning the “feminist” label altogether? Really, for many it has reached the stage that the term “feminist”, like “liberal”, has been poisoned beyond redemption and has no relevance to its roots. This is what happens when you allow lunatics to hijack your movement. If you want to somehow reclaim it, that bus is long gone. You have a long run to catch it.

  323. I scanned through all of the comments looking for someone to identify a shark that was friendly. Valuable, certainly, but friendly?

    My difficulty with associating with feminists is that very few of the friendly feminists call out and criticize the really bad ones. The poster above, to whom Jenny gave an excellent response, named several, and there are more. Those examples were deliberately bad behavior. There is passive bad behavior, too, such as when NOW refused to criticize President Clinton when Juanita Broderick stated that she was raped by then-Arkansas Governor Clinton. Rape isn’t worth protesting if the rapist is a powerful Democrat? And, yeah, my attitude of “innocent until proven guilty” rates higher than my sisterhood feelings, but those same NOW women don’t take that same approach when the accused is someone with whom they don’t share political viewpoint.

    And the reason I let myself focus on the extreme radical fringe is that those are the people who cause problems. The poster pointed out that the really evil Nazis were a small minority in Germany, but dayum, that small minority wrecked horrible havoc. Not many people supported Pol Pot, but, urgh, that was awful. The people who have the sane majority of a group have the responsibility to ferret out the bad apples. Or at least, state that the crazy opinions do not represent the whole group. As the poster above said, I don’t see enough of that by feminists in leadership positions. I read Christians stating that Westboro Baptist Church is bad. I read ministers and other leaders stating that Westboro Baptist Church is not representative of the Christian faith. But I don’t see NOW renouncing the crazy, radical members of the feminist groups. That’s okay – they want to be inclusive. But they don’t get to include me, too. I don’t want to be included with the fringy radicals. Kick the extremists to the curb. Loudly. And I will probably join you. But there isn’t room for me in the feminists’ big tent as long as the extremists are welcome. I’m just going to represent myself at the office as well as I can, to prove that the struggles of the 1960’s feminists were worth it.

  324. I think the kids on tumblr and I don’t dismiss them as mere children, I mean the 20-somethings have several issues with “feminism” the word , because it’s gender specific. The kids are or have shifted to gender neutral language. Therefore the very word itself defines inequity. The 20-somethings also take issue with what they perceive to be old timey causes. They do not view themselves as oppressed by a male dominated system, they eschew that whole social construct. It’s not by accident they’re making paper signs. They’ve been raised almost paper-free, the use of the resource is indeed fascinating. As is the evolution of what the kids value, grow and dismiss.

  325. This was fantastic. I still think people read too much into things. EVeryone should be happy and eat some cake 🙂

  326. Western feminism is just white middle class women whining basically.

  327. “Actually, the question it raises for me is “why are you accepting only THAT definition of feminism”? I mean, who died and made them Betty Friedan?”

    I don’t. Like many others ignorant about feminism, I looked to the dictionary definition and accepted that as what feminism entailed. I didn’t think feminism was a dirty word. I still, in a way, don’t, but it has unfortunately been tainted due to its adherents. It’s only been a few years ago since I got smacked hard in the face with this new line of feminism, the type that’s so prevalent now on the wider internet, and I made the mistake to question some of their theories, like the patriarchy, like rape culture, like Schrödinger’s Rapist.

    Even though I had never expressed any sort of hatred towards women endemically in any fashion, even though I don’t consider women to be beneath me or even men in general, suddenly I wasn’t feminist enough for their tastes and they did what they could to demonise me with every label antithetical to feminist belief.

    Mind you, these weren’t isolated incidents. They exist all over the internet. Mostly on Tumblr, Twitter and reddit. The straw that broke the camel’s proverbial back was after the Isla Vista killings and feminists decided to use the tragedy to trend a hashtag that had nothing to do with the killings themselves and author articles where they continually asserted how it was a crime of misogyny and men are taught to hate women in our society and when’s the next Elliot Rodger going to spring up. One of them even started off with saying “women has had enough”, despite the fact that more men than women died during his killing spree. It was sickening.

    Maybe you don’t agree, but modern feminism – and more importantly, its adherents – are turning into a cult. Anyway. That’s enough ranting for the day.

  329. Those using the term humanism to mean equality for humans, please remember that the movement defined as humanism is actually centuries old and has had its own definition for many years. If you would like to read on the philosophy, Wikipedia has an excellent overview: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanism . While equality is most certainly a part of humanism, humanism is much broader as a philosophy and what it is and where it comes from ought to be understood before the term is used differently than its historical roots (the same as feminism, as a term, actually).

    Use the word how you will, but this philosophy is deeply held by some in the same place that religion is and do not be surprised when you find yourself confronted by someone for mis-defining something very important to their lives…kind of like Westborogh Baptist being held up as Christian when pretty obviously redefining the term by removing Jesus from it entierly and then being offended when they are called out on the point.

    Humanism may not be the word you seek- egalitarianism may be better suited to your liking, depending on your philosophical leanings.

  330. Jenny, I love you, but unfortunately you are out of touch with today’s feminist movement, which has morphed from an affirmative, positive, empowering, inclusive and welcoming civil rights movement into a dogmatic, intolerant, prejudiced, hate-driven and bullying, ends-justify-the-means caricature of its former self.

    I say this not with joy but with great sorrow. I grew up in a household that didn’t just preach, but practiced feminism, and I am a life-long feminist. Sadly, neither of our daughters – both independent, accomplished, self-assured individuals, one of whom is my 50% equal partner in our game studio – neither of them wish to identify with this caricature and will not call themselves feminists. That doesn’t mean they don’t believe with all their beings that they are equal and deserve equal respect. It means that they reject a politics of hate that feeds on hurt.

    It’s not just feminism per se that is poisoned by this new disgust-driven authoritarianism I call Neopuritanism. But it is most evident in this movement as real feminists have stepped aside and let the new haters seize and monopolize the microphone.

    When you encounter a large number of people that reject a movement that advocates for their rights, the first question to ask is, why would reasonable people not want to associate with this movement? Rather than suggest something is wrong with those people, or that they need to be educated – perhaps it makes sense to look and see what has happened to the movement that has so alienated women and men who previously embraced it.

    Today’s version of young, white, American, college-educated “social activism” shares more with the Tea Party than with liberalism. I’ve always said that politics is circular – if you travel far enough left, you encounter the far right.

    Imagine if the Civil Rights movement of the 50’s and 60’s had been taken over by in the 70’s by Elijah Muhammad, and MLK, Jr was now considered a “race traitor”. That is how today’s young “feminists” talk about the feminist pioneers of my mother’s generation. That’s not a reflection on the validity of feminism as a concept. It is the reality of how feminism is pursued as an objective today by the dominant voices on feminism.

    So, please understand, the increasing numbers of men and women who believe in equality but don’t want to be associated with poisonous rhetoric and hate are NOT rejecting the notion of equality or the radical belief that women are human beings. We are rejecting the notion that hate brings social progress, and that bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, ostracization, social censorship and bullying are legitimate means to an end when practiced by one’s own group.

    Justice is never won through hate.

  331. I’m an egalitarian, not a feminist, because I don’t elevate women above men. Not philosophically, and not linguistically.

  332. I AM a Feminist. I wear a bra instead of burning it and I shave my legs and pits. I believe that women should be treated like human beings. I also believe that cats and dogs and horses should be treated like human beings… that animals deserve respect and kindness, even if we plan to eat them. They experience joy and fun and love just like we do. Except for spiders. Fuck spiders and ants and cockroaches!

  333. Humanist: I just solved this problem for everyone. It completely pulls the gender binary out of the equation.

  334. I’m one of those women who often falls in the feminism misconception trap, forgetting (or perhaps never learning) what feminism is really about. Thank you for reminding me that it’s about so much more than pickle jars and shaved legs. As you said to another commenter, its about equal opportunities for women – politically, socially, and economically. It really is a serious issue that starts when we are young girls.

    This #LikeAGirl video made me cry with sadness, then hope. It’s sad, but awareness brings about hope and change.

  335. This is one of those reasons why I love you and you’re one of my heroes.
    I started paying attention to feminism last year and it makes it harder to live life sometimes, when you look at the world and see all the things that are bad and wrong and stupid. But ultimately I know it makes it better and sometimes I see evidence of it and I’m just so happy.
    Thanks.

  336. Feminism is more than its fancy wiki or Webster definition, and you know that. The problem is not about equality among the sexes, but what feminists think is equality among the sexes. This is not as simple as each person gets 1 apple and 2 oranges. Both, men and women are not the same starting at the fact that ones gives birth and the other doesn’t. Or that one has tends to have more physical strength than the other. There’s not even true equality among men. Not all men earn the same, etc. You cannot ask for equality while ignoring we are not equal. Now, feminism also tends to benefit women at cost of men. This may sound like a contradiction with your definition, but according to most so called feminists, it does. For example, all those feminists thinking they are cool because they decide not to make a sammich… I mean, when are we gonna see those so cool feminists telling their men not to pay for their stuff and buy them things just like they think they shouldn’t make them a sammich? The movement advocates ideal situations were women are treated like queens and men are treated like shit more than anything else

  337. Hey there – I’m writing as a woman that’s excited to have rights but just sick of the politicism and nit-picking. I’m sick of the agendas and the back-stabbing and the vitriol. So I broke up with feminism not because I’m not psyched to have rights but because I’m sick of the loudest voices in the movement saying the dumbest shit.
    Someone needs to talk to the editors of Jezebel and tell them to learn to write objectively because their crap is just getting OLD. You can’t be for women’s rights and then cherry-pick which women fall under that protective umbrella.
    Also if I hear one more person tell me “you don’t know the definition of feminism”, I’m going to hurl. Cute puns and anecdotes aside, I understand the definition but I also understand that things are able to, and most often do, EVOLVE. I’m not shitting on anyone’s grave when I say that I don’t like how things are NOW.
    I wrote about it on our lil blogsite (twice) – neverdaunted.net and I’d love your opinion.
    Gracias and good day! 🙂
    – Cait

  338. I do want equal rights for men and women. I believe that those who want that are egalitarians.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egalitarianism

    Unfortunately, too great a portion of the feminist movement is no longer a force for gender equality, but for women’s rights over and above men’s. That’s not right. I’m truly saddened when I think of what the original suffragettes went through and how their movement has now been sullied with a broad streak of misandry.

    The first suffragettes fought for equal rights. I think work still needs to be done to ensure men and women are treated equally, but I think it’s time for a new movement. I think we should try to identify through our similarities, not our differences, so hope that more people try to promote and participate in the egalitarian movement.

  339. This is amazing and you are hilarious! And the bee analogy totally works – I might have to borrow it when I’m trying to explain this to people! Thanks so much for posting!

  340. I saw these girls with their stupid signs and thought:

    hey don’t want equal pay for equal work? But as you noted they have no idea what feminism is. Thank you!

  341. What a magnificent way to bring such an important topic to the fore!! You are the best and you make me pee my pants too often!

  342. See, this is a polite and reasonable way to disagree with that hashtag. Sadly, too many people who call themselves feminists are not so reasonable (like, pretty much all of Jezebel). Honestly, I wouldn’t identify as “feminist” simply because the movement has become too radicalized but that doesn’t mean I’m against treating women with dignity and respect, that is huge for me. Thanks for the interesting post.

  343. This is a great article. Apart from the shark analogy (I love sharks, I wanted to grow up to be one when I was young), it is so calm, clear, concise, and …AWESOME! It is so awesome that I am posting a comment despite the fact that I hate giving away my email to any site.

  344. So this is what I hate about feminism and why I don’t consider myself a feminist. Because it’s that extreme wing that is getting all the publicity. Sorry I don’t want to be associated with statements like, “If you choose to be a stay at home mom you aren’t actually making a choice you are just be subjugated and kept under the thumb of your overbearing and dominating husband.”

    And “Standards should be lowered so that women can get into more male dominated jobs” They were talking about firefighters and policemen. If a woman can pass the tests more power to her but I don’t see why standards should be lowered in order to accomplish this.

    I usually get a good dose of how Christianity is evil and bad too. Me being a Christian that doesn’t sit to well with me. Perhaps women who see themselves as feminists tried to keep the more extreme under control (for lack of better wording) maybe more women would considered themselves feminist.

  346. RAWK ON. Nice post. Sharing on FB..

    I’m a feminist for all the reasons you elaborate. It’s a good thing. It is not perfect and it can be made better–but it does good work a lot of the time.

  348. I struggle to understand the anti-feminisim movement. I think it is because they don’t remember what it was like before. I don’t because I’m not quite old enough, but I recently saw a movie about it. Trust me, I don’t ever want to go backwards. But some apparently do. I remain mystified.

    Also, I cried after watching the video of Mr Stewart. What an amazing man.

  349. So, I was curious as to what these women were actually posting, and I from what I saw I feel sorry for them. I don’t see myself as a feminist, but I am so grateful for what feminists have done for me. I would have to be dependent on a man for everything for my entire life, but because of their hard work (and extremism from time to time) I decide how my life will go. I own my house by myself and have a job that values my intelligence and contributions to the whole. I also have the choice to be a stay at home mom when I get to that point in my life.

    I think so many associate feminism with burning bras (which I am not entirely opposed to) and climbing the corporate ladder (shoot me now please). What so many young women don’t realize ( and I was the same way ten years ago), is that feminism means that you believe women have the right to choose how their life will go. They can choose to become a corporate executive, write a book, produce a food blog, or change their kid’s diapers.

    Feminism=Choice

    We need a meme for that. Maybe then both sides of the feminism spectrum will stop bullying each other. But then again, I am way to pragmatic(i.e. pessimistic) to ever believe that will happen. We need the extremes, so the rest of us can chill in the middle and think everyone else is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

    That being said. Patrick Stewart is amazing!

  350. Just adding to the chorus of “Best Fucking Blog Ever” and I have lusted for Patrick Stewart for 35 years.

    For all the nay-sayers: Watch any movie or TV show from the 1950’s and then say you’re against feminism. Women who see themselves as feminists know they can’t control the extremes – anymore than religious groups or environmental groups or gun control groups can control the extremes. But to say “I’m Against Feminism” is to be ignorant of what Feminists have gained for you. Try visiting a country that doesn’t benefit from feminism and see how that works out for you.

  351. I remember when Westboro came on the scene and how lots of Christians stood against them and what they stood for. They actively and vocally shouted them down saying this is not what Christianity is.

    I don’t see this happening with radical feminism. I mostly see posts like this to me it is saying that radical feminism is part of the feminist movement and what we represent but if you don’t like it then just pretend it is not happening.

    Unfortunately it is those radical feminists that are defining what feminism is today. If none of the less radical feminists speak up and say hey that is not what feminism is about you just look like you agree with them so don’t expect them to join your cause.

  352. “I don’t need air because LOTS OF IT IS FARTS. I’M NOT BREATHING FARTS. YOU BREATHE FARTS.”

    A recent study shows that farts may cure cancer. I won’t be holding a sign on Tumblr anytime soon, because I’m too busy saving the whole fucking world – one fart at a time.

  353. Sadly, I suspect the woman who are posting their reasons that they aren’t feminists are getting their information from anti-feminists. The feminist cause is no longer much of a cause, per se, and so now it is defined by those who were originally against it. Thanks for standing up for equality. We need a new movement to remind both genders how important gender equality is. BTW, I was briefly a personal trainer to an 84 year old man who said that when women go the right to vote was when our country started going downhill. He graciously fired me and put me out of my misery of working with him.

  354. Feminisim is a good idea, but some bad comes with all of it.

    First, there are women like my old manager where I work. I was 8 months pregnant and the only closer on the floor. She was in charge of the schedule so I asked her to put a guy closing with me to help with the heavy lifting.

    She proceeded to tell me she would never do that becuase I wasn’t a “princess” and that I “can do anything a man can do.”

    I told her “I might not be a princess, but I’m 8 months pregnant, and I’m not going to risk a miscarriage pushing around carts that weigh more than me and my co-workers combined just because YOU think I can do anything a man can do.”

    She still didn’t give me anyone else to help, though my other FEMALE co-workers were awesome enough to insist I not touch one of those damn carts again until after the baby was born.

    Speaking of working….. I also don’t like the feminists out there who attack me for saying I wish I could go back in time and be a stay at home mom. Since society is now geared towards a 2 income household and I wasn’t lucky enough to snag a rich husband I have to work whether I want to or not. (I really wanna be a housewife. Sorry if that offends some people.)

  356. I’m deeply saddened that there are female anti-feminists. Like you were saying (amidst the bees and sharks), to me it’s like a HUMAN saying they are anti-human. Makes no sense to me how some people could say/think “gee, NO, I don’t need equal rights!” Wha…????

  357. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water is right! Unfortunately this article doesn’t address what Women Against Feminism are reacting to. Of course all women want equality. What they are responding is the tip of the feminism spear which acts as the mouth piece and dictates the discussion i.e. what right and wrong feminism is.

    Its the opposite end of the spectrum from men who want to retain the entitlements and who are willing to go to great lengths to deny the problem. I agree that is a real problem and needs to be fought but so is feminism that insists you believe a certain way. It actually limits progress.

  359. I think you are supposed to say “spoiler alert” before you ruin the movie, not after. I am sure the rest of your post was great, but I am having a hard time getting over the fact that I will no longer be surprised by the ending when, and if, I watch Sharknado….

    P.S. I am a feminist, how could I not be? I have a daughter!

  361. “We’re all equally deserving to express our opinion. After all, that’s what feminism is all about.”
    —then you clearly live in a parallel universe where feminists support freedom of expression. In the world I live in, feminists don’t want people to be allowed to say ‘bossy’ or ‘cunt’ or make rape jokes or say that not all men are somehow responsible for all rape or that there’s no good proof for a patriarchy that oppresses women for the benefit of men. In the world I live in feminists try to stop anti-feminists from giving speeches. Basically, I hope you enjoy living on Fantasy Island. Must be nice.

  362. Some points.

    It bears repeating as many people are saying it quite a lot – humanism is a pre-existing movement. Not a distinction between “being for humans equally” in opposition to “being for women over men.”(which is not what feminism means, come to that – it isn’t man-hating, that’s a negative stereotype).

    Additionally, while I understand some people may want to call themselves ‘egalitarian’ so show that they believe in equality but not feminism, it’s also worth pointing out that feminism is an egalitarian movement, just specifically around equality re: sex and gender. To say “I’m not a feminist, I’m a gender egalitarian!” is basically saying the same thing.

    Lastly people on tumblr and twitter who seem hateful, nitpicky, sanctimonious and like they aren’t listening and are more interested in blaming and blacklisting are NOT “the dominant voices of feminism” or representative of feminists. More the definition of a vocal minority (which the internet is great at amplifying). There is an excellent article about this here:

    http://www.thenation.com/article/178140/feminisms-toxic-twitter-wars

  363. “Maybe you don’t agree, but modern feminism – and more importantly, its adherents – are turning into a cult.”

    I’m aware that SOME feminists are taking a radical approach to things, and SOME feminists are trying to narrowly define the term.

    But that’s exactly my point – and Jenny’s point. Letting that one narrow definition of “feminism” stand pretty much abandons the definition to those people, and I don’t want to let that happen.

    I deliberately choose to call myself “feminist” as opposed to “humanist” precisely BECAUSE I don’t want that “cult” definition to be the only one that exists. There always were people who were radical about feminism, even in the 60’s – but the majority of women who had more common-sense approaches spoke up and actually got shit done. And there’s a hell of a lot more shit to get done.

    Abandoning the term to the wing-nuts is like being a mainstream Christian saying “I’m a Jesus-guy, not a Christian” because they don’t want to be associated with the Westboro Baptist Church.

    (Also – someone upthread asked whether the more mainstream feminists called the radical ones out on some stuff? Yep. I had a lot of fun when I overheard one woman chastise another, a total stranger to her, for wearing high heels “because it’s a tool of the patriarchy and you’ve let yourself be brainwashed” – I leaned in and asked “are you assuming that BECAUSE THIS PERSON IS A WOMAN, she is incapable of making her own independent decision about her shoes?” She didn’t have anything to say to that.)

  364. “Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs (members) of a group”
    THANKS – love, Christians Who Are Horrified By The Christians You See On TV Doing/Saying Awful Things.

  367. Wow. Just wow. Funny. And just brilliant.
    I totally totaaallaaayy agree with the point you’re making. It’s like whenever I say I’m a feminist, I can hear the men giving each other funny looks because I’m going to lecture them. It’s so ignorant of people to assume that all feminists are the same.
    Once again, this was really really great.

  368. Amen! I used to think I was anti-feminist until I recently no longer believed in Christianity. Not that Christians are sexists, but some sects are, and I was in one of them, blindly. Yay for being pro-human!

  371. I consider myself a feminist because I appreciate the right to vote, own my own house, make my own choices, and drive my own car. I know that there are many women on Earth who still can’t do those things. I’m a feminist because I expect to be paid the same as men doing the exact same job with the same skill level, and that doesn’t always happen. I’m a feminist because I’m a welder, and other women welders and inspectors have told me to my face that they don’t like seeing other women on the job site because they assume that while they worked hard to get where they are, the other women didn’t (especially if the other women are pretty or dressed nicely). I’m a feminist because I’ve been assaulted by a man, and then told it was my own fault. I’m a feminist because my mom earned more than she received. I’m a feminist because so many of the men around me are also sick of seeing women feeling shame, inferiority, fear, or a willingness to be undervalued. Also, I’m a feminist because I damned well said so.

  372. Did you know that men actually once VOTED to give women the right to vote?!! (Facepalm) It all went south after that shit happened. I’m kidding, of course, and thank you for bringing humor to the world; it needs it, desperately. If I was British, I’d say, “thank you for bringing humour to the world.”

  373. I love your writeup, I’ve always thought of feminist as bitches(the ones I know are) but you’re right. After this I think everyone should be a feminist

  374. I think the anti-feminist stance you unfortunately see so much in atheism is absolutely disgraceful. (And in fact a huge part of the reason I am no longer involved in the atheism movement. (Though I feared something like that would eventually happen years ago. (As there was always a big aversion to applying the rationality applied to religion equally to politics and social issues as well. (I blame the libertarians and their bullshit, and people trying to appease these economic kooks.)

    Still the way these anti-feminist atheists judge the movement based on extremists and stereotypes is like judging all atheists by Stalin and atheist stereotypes. How hypocritical that they can’t see that. And how pitiful that atheists the last few years mostly (there’s exceptions) failed to live up to the standards one should reasonably expect of rationalists. Advocacy of equal rights is the rational position, it should be defended as such by rationalistic people.

    I guess I’m not surprised you’d see anti-feminists on the internet in general though. The people who spend the most time online are very often, it seems to me, are often geeky guys… And well… Not everyone likes hearing it, but I think as a group there’s quite an undercurrent of resentment towards women amongst them. It seems very often to me that nerdy guys both deeply resent and still also desperately want to be jocks and frat boys. And that a lot of them dislike women for rejecting them or not having sex with them. I dunno, it’s my experience at least with these people.
    (For the record I’m solidly pro-feminist in case that wasn’t clear!) But I do wonder if there’s a way to reach well… resentful geekdom.

    That said I also think it’s pop culture… big media, always in the hands of big money has made a sport of demonizing and/or mocking just about any progressive movement ever. And a lot of people suck it up unfortunately. And as a result just the word ‘feminism’ makes a lot of people’s assholes clench. (or makes them sneer dismissively or roll their eyes) Even though fundamentally it’s about equality.

  377. As a beekeeping, shark-loving feminist, I want to cheer and tell you that this is absolutely the best post about feminism I have ever read. And that each year, more people are injured by their toilets than eaten by feminists.

  378. I really hesitated about commenting on this. In fact I actually went through about four or five different wordings, to try and make sure that I got this right. Still not sure that I did, but what the heck shoot from the hip and see what sticks.
    I am going to look at this issue in a somewhat cold manner. Please bear with me.
    So much of the issue with “feminism” is branding. People get caught up in fighting for African American Rights, Hispanic Rights, Women’s Rights, Pigmy Rights, and I fear that being so narrow minded in scope these movements are missing the big picture. Women should not be paid less because they are a women, a person should not be denied a job because of their race. The problem though is that so many of these groups end up pushing for social justice. Social justice, while it may sound nice, is really just a method to divide us by gender, race, and creed.
    Too many of the “leaders” of the various social movements have realized that they can exploit the desire for equality, to reach political and sadly financial ends. They use the fears and desires of good natured people to divide the nation.
    What I am trying to say, and doing a rather bad job of it, is why are we so drastically limiting ourselves. We all should stand together and demand EQUAL Justice, EQUAL protection under the law, and the RULE OF LAW.
    All Men Are Created Equal, (in the English language the Masculine is Inclusive) is one of the corner stones of this great nation. An idea that transformed this country, and the world. It is a statement that is often misunderstood. It does not mean that everyone is capable of doing the exact same things, that no one is better than anyone else. What it means is that no one is to be put above another in the eyes of the law. So even a loud mouth klutz like me is supposed to be treated equally in the eyes of the law.

  379. This is terrific! Thank you for writing it. I do think it’s interesting how the irony of being ABLE to post their WomenAgainstFeminism blog BECAUSE of feminism is lost on them.

  380. Love your post… I live in canada with 3 daughters and although we are considered a great place to live, I still do battle with school dress codes that target girls! Feminsm can’t die yet because the battle isnt over!

  383. “….It’s easy to find – over the course of so many years of Women’s Rights activists – extreme quotes from particular feminists that most feminists would disagree with….”

    Then you are admitting the movement has no principles and no integrity. Sure, anybody can CLAIM to be a feminist and say hateful things but the feminists I quoted (and there are many more like them) included prominent feminist spokeswomen and authors and they were never condemned or officially ejected from the movement for saying the things they did.

    The feminist professor who recently claimed underage boys are able to give consent to sex with adult women (ie therefore boys in question were not victims of rape) was also not condemned or ejected from the feminist movement …..instead feminists RALLIED AROUND HER and MADE VEILED THREATS to the people outing her for being a blatant rape apologist.

    The criteria for ‘being’ a feminist is this: declaring yourself to ‘be’ a feminist. THAT’S IT. You don’t have to actually do anything, or adhere to any principles. Mass movements that are based on vague feel-good mantras (‘equality’, ‘liberation’ ’empowerment’ etc) instead of being bound by well defined principles are he most dangerous things imaginable.

    “…The average feminist is like me…”

    And the average nazi supporters were ordinary families with ordinary moral standards who would never dream of murdering perfect strangers in gas chambers. That is precisely my point.

    The majority of people who have been enticed into calling themselves ‘feminists’ with ideas of ‘equality’ and so on are completely at odds with the core ideology of feminism (AKA ‘patriarchy theory’) as well as the core feminists who are the ones actually influencing political policy and social behaviour. Feminism’s ‘patriarchy theory’ literally defines men as sociopaths who have deliberately and successfully oppressed their wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers and sisters throughout history. If you are a feminist you are agreeing with ‘patriarchy theory’. ‘Patriarchy theory’ is hateful and it’s really no different to what was once claimed about black people or jews or gays.

    At various times in history those groups were also accused of posing a threat to civilised society, of being genetically predisposed to being savages and rapists, and of scheming to control everybody else for their benefit at everybody else’s expense – these are all claims feminism now directs at the group ‘men’. Feminism is racism repackaged and aimed at ‘men’. These days if you say ‘blacks’ are uncivilised, savages, animals, rapists you’ll be accused of hate speech … but say the same thing about ‘men’ and that’s OK, even on TV it’s OK to say that. All thanks to feminism.

    “…I support equality..”

    In what way? What have you actually done? ….. or do you mean just by supporting the feminist movement?

    I encourage you to test if feminism is really fighting for gender equality by writing out a list of all the inequalities feminism is actively fighting against which disadvantage men and give women unfair privilege. If you can’t think of any then how can you say feminism is fighting for equality?

    “….. Don’t hate an idea just because you can find some hateful quotes by individuals…”

    I don’t hate the idea of gender equality. I am just pointing out that feminism is nothing to do with equality. It is a destructive and hateful movement which has recruited a lot of well meaning individuals by pretending to be all about equality.

    Mass movements which are destructive and hateful rarely advertise themselves in those terms! They always promote themselves as being noble and virtuous organisations.

    “…You can’t find any movement/party/group that doesn’t have people on the radical ends of the spectrum…”

    Then perhaps we should not get involved in movements, parties or groups at all. History is one long account of misery, persecution, violence, bloodshed and hatred caused by various movements, parties and groups that seduced the masses with vague feel-good mantras and clever propaganda and then lead them to do or support evil and destructive things.

    Perhaps we should stick to living – as individuals – according to our own moral and rational principles and not get sucked into supporting mass movements and vague causes.

    “… but that doesn’t mean that you can’t say that you support the feminist idea that women should not be given less rights than men…”

    What rights do men have today that women do not have. Can you be specific?

    “….most people who consider themselves feminists believe in equality for all. ~ Jenny)…”

    Yes at the casual level, I’m inclined to agree. What I’m saying is that if someone genuinely believes in equality for all then they are NOT a feminist…. they are BETTER than feminism.

    Would it make you upset if I wanted to end racism and so I joined the KKK believing them to be fighting for racial equality? Pretty soon they’ve got me writing blogs about how awful it is to be a white person walking home at night terrified of being attacked by blacks …. using the hashtag ‘yesallwhites’ and ending all my blogs with mantras like ‘white power!’

    To help me see the error of my ways you produce a list of nasty quotes and other facts which reveal what the KKK is really all about, and I say “Yeah, but every movement has its radical members”

    That is what it’s like to watch decent, moral people defend, support and fund the feminist movement 🙁

  385. As a traditional Catholic, I do not wish to associate myself with the feminist movement. When some leading woman or man in the movement says “women want…” I think to myself “No, I am a woman and I certainly don’t want that. I don’t think that is liberating.” When I say that I am not a Feminist, I am not saying that I am opposed to gender equality. I am saying that I do not wish to be associated with a movement that often promotes values contrary to my faith.

  387. Reblogged this on Read My Nonsense and commented:
    Exactly thats the real situation even sometimes I tend to avoid such a topic, which plays with my orthodox thinking about feminism and its equally true, we should not avoid these treatise just because you hate to ponder over your belief which you are following from a long time and defending it for a long time. Just read it may be its true, may be its irish bull or you may change it. Just go for it.

  388. Jenny Lawson you are awesome and someday if I ever meet you and we can both get over our social anxiety I am going to give you the biggest hug. I feel like that could be construed as a threat. Sorry about that.

  389. That is exactly what you do on tumblr and why you might want to think about fiddling with it. It’s chock full of fandom, wank, literal wanking, social justice, hipsters, miscellaneous music fandoms, and homestuck. And Bendydick Cumbersnatch.

  390. Sigh…. when is that second book of yours coming out? Since I can’t take my ipad or laptop into the bath with me, I eagerly anticipate the release of your next book to make my bathtimes chuckleworthy and delightful. The Bloggess and Bubbles – what a combo!

  391. Feminism is unique to me in that is the only group that tries to obtain members against their will. IMO, there is only one way to tell is someone is a feminist: ask. If they say they’re a feminist, then they’re a feminist. If they say they’re not a feminist, then they’re not.

  393. Thank you! I’ve written recently about the need for normal, everyday women to stand up and declare themselves feminists. So many don’t, because they think feminism has to be about the radical, aggressive views of a few high profile women. I wish I could do something more to change this, and make people realise exactly what you’ve said here, and stop being so afraid to add their voices. But it is such a huge task, and it doesn’t help that those radical voices often leap in to shout at women who don’t share their view of feminism.
    Feminism is for everyone and anyone who wants equal opportunity and respect for both men AND women. We need to put this debate at the top of the agenda, so thank you for putting it on your profile, where so many will read it. I hope it helps.

  395. Actually Mummy what you said is exactly why I do not consider myself a feminist.
    “It doesn’t help that those radical voices often leap in to shout at women who don’t share their view of feminism” just goes to show how much they are in control of the movement itself. So yeah, you know I’m not a feminist.

  396. Agree, but when WordPress features several posts from the type of feminists you refer to (not including this one), it doesn’t do much to promote feminism.

  397. Equality isn’t special? Or the belief in equality isn’t special? Either way it sounds like a lack of empathy for those who have less power than you have. Equity has not been achieved by any definition in the US.

  398. My husband and I were talking about this not long ago. About 45 seconds into a discussion about why he wasn’t a feminist he realized he has always been a feminist and was adamant about letting people know.
    It’s not too surprising that the very word created to represent the idea of a dream that women might rise towards equality in a patriarchal society is misconstrued to represent dominance over the opposite gender. As if there has to be a plus one or minus one…our brains can’t even perceive the idea of ‘equal’.
    In the defense of that group on tumblr, the whole ‘ism’ thing is confusing though, isnt it? I mean how do you expect me to defend feminism if it reminds me of the bad words like sexism, racism, prejudism, cataclysm… Let’s just call is feminality…that might work.

  399. Reblogged this on au·then·tic and commented:
    this is everything. i’m so tired of radical feminism/radical haters of feminism/people who think feminists hate men/people who think woman want to run the world and kill any man in charge. it’s embarrassing. embarrassing for the human race entirely. please for the love of all things, stop the nonsense and opinions based on crazy stereotypes that aren’t facts. feminism is equality for every man and woman, whether you’re black or white or a minority somewhere in the amazon. stop with the nonsense.

  401. I did this just so I could be commenter #400. Well, plus I’m a feminist and have been for 40 odd years. Oh yeah and I love sharks and Shark Week and would watch Sharknado again just for the pure pleasure of it. But mostly…… just so I could be #400 because I needed it today. That’s all folks.

  404. My sister sent me a message asking if I had read The Blogess today because it sounds just like me. I think maybe you are me… But a better writer. You should come to my house for dinner we’ll chat and things. Then again I live in Spain, makes for a long drive/flight home. But you’re certainly welcome, I’ll make paella.

  405. I don’t think you actually read the summary of the Womenagainst Feminism, we aren’t against equal rights, we are against the man bashing , and the modern feminism and its toxic culture of doing so. Every belief has extremist. This is what we are against.

  407. This seems somehow pertinent:

    Random Woman next to me in a queue: I hate wasps!
    Me: That isn’t a wasp.
    RW: I hate wasps!
    Me: Well, OK, but that isn’t a wasp it’s a hoverfly. It doesn’t have a sting.
    RW: I hate wasps!

  410. Feminists are adorable and fuzzy? Please, step away from the drugs ….

    The problem is TODAY’S feminists. The ones I know are overbearing, rude, demanding and as insulting to a woman who wants to be a woman or stay at home mom as they are to the men in their lives. THESE are the feminists that are part of NOW today …. and the one’s I encountered that turned me off of their view point. They don’t want to be equal and get along with everyone, they want to overthrow.

  414. Heck, yes, I’m a feminist. I’m also a Christian. And I’ll be damned if I’ll stop saying I’m either one just because of the dumbshit things people of the radical fringe may be saying. It is dangerous and devisive to define any group by the worst of its members.

  415. I love every word of this. I did get confused by the line, “I don’t need books because YOU KNOW WHO WROTE BOOKS?” because I thought you meant Voldemort, and I didn’t remember him writing anything. BUT, everything else written here is awesome.

    Never stop being you.

  417. Lol, well said. It’s been awhile since I could giggle while thinking about patriarchy and feminisms.

  418. Preach on, Sister! I went and took a look at the website and am pretty appalled. “I don’t need feminism because my son should not be made to feel less of a person simply because of his gender,” “I don’t need feminism because: there is no patriarchy!” Seriously? Mind. Blown. I have a son and I don’t want him to make distinctions based solely on a person’s sex/gender. There is nothing about my feminism that would ever make him feel less a person. AND, I actually have a degree in Women’s Studies. I’m married to a man (for 20 years) and have an 8 year old son. Thank goodness for feminism that allowed them to have an education and not get kidnapped by a crazy religious group and sold into slavery because women are worthless. What a bunch of brainwashed hooey.

  420. while this was a nice article, the problem i have is the fact that faminists think they own the term equalism.. this is not true. also saying that if you are a woman that means you are a feminist by nature of your birth, also not true. many who (myself included) do not call themselves feminists have good reason not to. if you are truely about equal rights for all that makes you an equalist,not a feminist, most feminists are infact equalists without knowing it. Why do people feel the need to white knuckle an old term which has been jaded by angery feminazis and general man hating….why do feminists get these bad raps? also most who self identify as feminists are violently against any group of emn getting together to discuss male issues, because we all know men cant have issues, oh and if they did im sure feminism has a solution. bull cucky.. equalism believes in human rights. that includes, gender, race sexuality and class. dont get me wrong, im not anti feminist at all, there is lots in the world that need feminism, and inparticular that brand of feminism that lead to us having rights. there are parts of the world that needs it. but most of those battles were faught and won here. we have our rights….sometimes i just wonder if people are sitting around wondering what next thing they can complain about…minor details. but thats just me. i dont expect my views are popular or common, but maybe there would be less negativity in this world if we all took on a more equalistic point of view instead of divisive like i find feminism and the mrm to be.

  422. i love this. it makes me laugh. i wanted to just “like” it or whatever, but i can’t figure that out.

  423. I believe the internet has played some part in radicalizing people on both sides of this issue; quite a lot of people on tumblr seem to push the idea of social justice well beyond its limits into an area where everything in the world is potentially offensive or unjust, and then there’s a similarly stupid backlash on other sites (see the MRA movement – there is certainly room for “men’s rights” issues such as unfair biases against fathers in child custody cases, but in general I think the whole movement is born from insecurity and baseless anger.)

    Anyway, seeing true equality in the world would be nice. I don’t know if I have any place calling myself a feminist – but I do believe in equal rights.

  424. What’s interesting is that the majority of the women holding up signs prefaced with the words Ï don’t need feminism because…” then go on to make a feminist statement. Genuine anti feminists would have dug a hole and be submissively standing in it in the rain, not thinking they had the right to express their opinion.

  425. Maybe they’re trying to say Ï don’t need feminism … because I AM Feminism!

  426. Yes, you got it – I love this post! Feminism is important because it extends to everyone, not just us females. Equality for all, including “anti-feminists”!

  427. I always thought equal rights and opportunities between men and women was common sense – so therefore feminism is common sense. I love your response to the #WomenAgainstFeminism thing, you say everything I feel much more eloquently than I ever could.

  428. This is so, so good! I came across that Tumblr as well and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I am seriously worried by young women (mind you, I’m one of them!). I had two friends – “had” the key word – who were not feminist because they did not want to be superior to men, they just believed in equality. Or maybe not so much, because they were both 50 Shites of Grey hard-core fans (“wouldn’t you love a rich man to give everything to you?”).

    Anyway, thanks for this amazing post and for showing the world that there are feminist men out there who are amazing and who can choose to have the looks they want to. Because, yes, people still believe tough apearance = non-feminist.

  429. Excellent post though I do think we need more nuance from the other side.
    Quotas are ridiculous, in my opinion, and I think men are being more oppressed as women are liberated.
    I don’t want to one day be the boss of someone and he says “hey, I can’t respect you since you’re only here due to a quota.”

  432. I disagree. I feel there is a difference between feminism and gender equality. I am all for gender equality and I feel most reasonable “feminist” beliefs are really about gender equality.

  434. As for me, I’m an equalist, or a humanist, not a feminist. I refuse to be associated with people who think all sex between a man and a woman is rape. I will not be associated with them, and find that anybody who is, really isn’t half as tolerant as they claim to be.

  436. Do you believe in being nice to others? Well then you’re a Christian.
    Do you knock on doors? Well then you’re a Jehovah’s Witness.

    The dictionary definition of aeroplane: “a powered flying vehicle with fixed wings and a weight greater than that of the air it displaces.”

    Funny, it doesn’t say that they can be used as terror weapons by crashing them into buildings.

  437. No I am not a feminist, I am me I can speak for myself and I don’t need some ill defined label with very negative connotations slapped on my head. I don’t need you to label me, it is arrogant and patronising to do so.
    If feminism is about the human race, why is only one half of the human race in the definition?
    It is like me saying I am a whiteist, fighting for the the right of people of all colours, doesn’t quite work does it?
    Thing is you are a whiteist too, you are just to stupid and uneducated to realise it.
    Feeling flattered, want to join me and us fellow whiteists?

    There in lies the problem feminism is full of shit, I don’t want to journey with you and understand your mental illness, yea maybe you are Mother Teresa.

    Patrick Stuarts mother earned more as a share of national income than most women do now.
    But Patrick is doing fine he is so equal now worth a cool $60 million.

    Will you be sharing that out Patrick reducing inequality? .

    And how can you say we have come so far when we are more unequal than every, we even have the reintroduction of slavery my dear.

    You are not Mother Teresa you are another white middle class wealthy mentally ill ‘feminist’, I would not wipe my arse with your book.

  440. Oh and comment disabled on SIR Patrick Stewart video, not much equality there is there, let the rich man speak, no right of reply using his male power to silence others what a piece of shit.
    Did he turn down his knight hood, a symbol of inequality, not a fucking chance.

    “We’re all equally deserving to express our opinion. After all, that’s what feminism is all about.*

    Not when Sir Pat has disabled comments, what a fucking joke this blogg is!!

  441. Reblogged this on northfrom and commented:
    (IN ENGLISH) Here is a great little read for anyone who is bored, or just interested and often joins the feminism discussions. Personally I never call myself a feminist, because I feel like a lot of people don’t know what it is, but I know that there are many places in the world where there is big need of feminism.
    Men are stronger than women physically, and that’s also how it is among animals (usually). The man is the strong one, the one who takes care of everyone. I live in an equal society, but in India for example, babygirls are killed, because the parents didn’t get the correct gender. And it’s the parents who kill the baby. Some parents just get seperated, because one of them is okay with it. Of course it’s not everywhere in India!
    I have seen and heard of women being beaten, because of drinking alcohol, being at a bar, showing their skin and such. THAT is to me what feminism is for!
    But instead of reading this, go read the reposted article.

  444. Outstanding article! It really comes down to human rights and hearing out other people. Whether you share opinions or not is not always important, but at least give everyone the freedom of thought and voice. By the way, I loved your tumblr sign ideas. You might need to rethink not opening an account yet.^^

  445. I started reading for the sensible attitude towards social issues and kept going because you’re hilarious…good piece! 🙂

  446. Thanks so much for your thoughts on this. I’m old enough to remember when the fight for the equal rights amendment was going on (1972-1982). It didn’t make it into the constitution and many women that fought for it were called crazy for the fight. I’m a feminist and proud of it.

  447. Jenny – I loved this so much. I don’t have too much to add after reading through some of the comments (and a few did make me wince; esp the very angry anti-feminist ones), but I just wanted to say – to the SEVERAL folks helpfully pointing out that the spoiler alert is supposed to come before the spoiler – THAT’S THE JOKE. (That, plus the fact that there was a spoiler for that movie.)
    Okay.
    Thanks.
    Jenny, you rock in every way.

  449. Feminism isn’t about equality. Its about power. Which is why it’s evil.

  450. Killer bees have given the whole kingdom of bees of bad name. This is what the more vocal, louder, with us or against us, ALL men are evil feminazis have done for feminism. I refuse to associate myself with them.
    I believe ALL people are equal and should have equal rights. I’m a humanist.

  451. This is crap, it ignores every inequality apart form sex inequality which does not actually exists, it is very careful to ignore growing class inequality, not least because most feminists are white wealthy and well off.
    The many countries have workfare slavery for the poor, no mention of that inequality, no mention of the bail out of the rich by the poor.
    People of both sexes are abuse by the well off who do not pay any tax, no mention of that, that is a much bigger issue. When you ignore the big inequalities and concentrate on imaginary ones you are a complete joke just like the millionaire speaking out about inequality.

    Pathetic, at best a mental illness at worst something far more sinister.

    And of course the author is a typical upper middle class woman talking about equality.

    I’d like to see the social make up of those who write for the Houston Chronicle, the privileged classes I expect,

  455. It seems to me that there is an implied pressure in this article to call oneself a feminist if one believes in equality. This being an emotive subject, people with all kinds of relations to it tend to argue in terms of emotional pressure (this is my impression) instead of actually thinking, “Right, what’s the best way to act in order to bring about and nurture equality?”

    I am assuming – and I may be wrong – such emotional pressure is the reason why the article presents a skewed picture of the WomenAgainstFeminism tumblr site. Stupidity can’t be excluded from such an endeavour, but the article didn’t mention that some of the women are holding up signs with entirely decent and valid points, such as the following:

    http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/post/92856812475/submit-your-own-pic-all-pics-stay-anonymous

  456. Actually, I’ll add something to my last comment. From what I’ve seen of WomenAgainstFeminism, most of the signs are remarkably sane. The article has cherry-picked the stupid ones. (Two of them.) The bias in this article is precisely what leads people to hold up the signs they do at WomenAgainstFeminism.

    Such as:

    http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/post/92077923155

    And:

    http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/post/92078898845/submit-your-pic

  460. I don’t consider myself a feminist because I know so many man hating-feminists. But I like your take that there may be several different kinds of them. I am an engineer, who became one in the 70’s when there were just a few of us. I’ve had the owner of my company put his arm around me, one of the minor things I dealt with. I hate that shit. But it was my fight, it wasn’t “our” fight. It always seems like when groups want equal rights they only want special privileges; and I hate that shit, too. When I got divorced I never pulled on the “single mother” label either; because I hate that shit. But I’m successful, and I have mentored other women who were in my shoes (not a bogus work program-on my own, in my way). So possibly I am the “f-word”, but no thanks on the label. You guessed it, I hate that shit. Just found out about you and read your book-I was born in San Angelo, and grew up in Denver City, Texas, population 4,100. Go West Texas!

  466. No mention of all the family hating then? Feminism was useful 40 years ago. But now it’s adherents are nothing like those women, they are full of hate nothing else. Feminists like to say “no means no” except when it is no to feminism. Read the comments from real women and you will understand. Women just don’t seem to get the disgusting things that have been done to men in their name, hardly any woman seems to know.

  469. You’re hilarious. I truly enjoyed your piece. And agree. It’s really NOT that difficult a concept. Unfortunately the “F” word is so stigmatized. Too bad the word wasn’t equalism. 😉

  472. I am a feminist and I have never eaten one of those oh-so-adorable seals. Ever.

  473. Thanks, Jenny, this is great!

    To those equating feminism to white people claiming white power…no. Just no. White people are the majority, and, more importantly, the non-oppressed group in our country (in terms of race). Women, though technically in the majority number-wise, are not given the same privileges as men. Also, Humanism, while not a bad thing on it’s own, is not the same as gender equality or feminism. It’s important to recognize that each minority/oppressed group has gone through it’s OWN struggles, and that shouldn’t all be lumped together. And the reason it was named Feminism, not egalitarianism or something gender neutral is because women have been the oppressed group, and that term recognizes that. Yes, feminism also benefits men, when it’s practiced as it was originally meant to be. But it started as a movement to get women out from under oppressive laws that limited their autonomy. In the same way, I don’t feel excluded my LGBT rights activists or that movement just because none of those initials apply to me. I understand that, at it’s heart, that movement aims for equality, but it aims for it specifically for those who have been oppressed because of their sexual orientation.

    And, having read most of Jenny’s book, you may want to get your facts straight about her being “upper middle class” (or at least growing up that way)!

  474. I don’t need feminism because I don’t want to go to work, I want a guy to work and I get to take care of the household. The reasons for this are three:
    1. At work I have no autonomy, I can’t decide when to perform various tasks or anything about the environment in which tasks are performed.
    2. At work my activity has no direct bearing on my life. If I perform my tasks badly the company may make less money but I will still be paid. If I work extra hard and do extra well it has no impact on my life either. There is something very empty and sisyphean about that kind of situation. At home if I work extra hard I can make my and my family’s lives better through it which makes me feel happy and accomplished.
    3. At home I have the opportunity to exercise creativity and problem solving in pursuit of my various tasks. At work the scope for these skills is very narrow increasingly even in fields and at levels where this was not the case due to the increasingly specialised nature of work and the proliferation of idiot proof procedures and standards.

    In a world where women can work I am put under enormous financial and social pressure to do so and frankly I’d rather get out of working and not have the vote than the other way around.

    Now obviously if these problems were solved maybe I’d be amenable to feminism, but I am skeptical that they can be solved while keeping modern society (including all the parts of it that allow me to afford to eat food and not have to defend myself against marauding bandits when I go to purchase said food) intact. Obviously me staying at home and getting to enjoy autonomy and creative work while men have to go out and experience a life of soul crushing monotony that has no direct effect on their lives is a little unfair on the men, but in the end, they built that world, Adam Smith told me so, let them lie in the bed they made and I will make a nice cozy bed for me to lie in.

  479. I know what I chose, and I’m extremely happy with my choice. ^_^

    BTW, it had nothing to do with Tumblr. It had to do with research on feminism and the like.

  480. “And of course the author is a typical upper middle class woman talking about equality.”

    There’s nothing typical about Jenny or her upbringing. Your comments are so way off here that it would be funny if it wasn’t so hateful.

  481. As an earlier poster says, honey bees are the ultimate feminists. The most important is the queen, the only bee to lay eggs which can become female bees (in a queenless hive the workers can lay eggs, but they will only be drones) and thus potential queens, and all the workers are female. The drones are male, produced for the sole purpose of inseminating the queen: they then hang around the hive eating the honey they haven’t collected until the autumn, when they are killed off to preserve the honey stores for the rest of the hive over winter.
    I’m not advocating we do the same to human males, of course! They also cannot sting, so only the females are kick-ass!
    Also, because I’m a bit OCD and therefore literal, you CAN eat the wax: when you eat honeycomb, you are eating the honey and the wax, from which the comb is made, at the same time.

  482. Reblogged this on mizpoloko's Blog and commented:
    I love this. Well written and shares my perspective. I wish we debate more what feminism means and explore it more instead of quickly labeling it a farce for male hater, or bitter women and all the ridiculous titles we have been painted with.

  485. One thing that I found REALLY touching was that Sir Patrick is SUCH a powerful speaker and such a rational defender of women’s rights. You can tell his father’s actions traumatized him as well as his mother. He holds the man accountable, he finds those acts despicable and you can see how strongly he feels that. But he understands his dad was sick, and he still loves him, and he also devotes a lot to the cause of research and treatment for PTSD. It’s like, he hasn’t forgiven, and he knows he shouldn’t, but he still has sympathy and love for the man, and rather than holding a grudge he’s trying to make sure no one else finds themselves broken like that.
    He’s trying to better things on both sides, and I gotta applaud him. We should all hope to have the heart Sir Patrick Stewart does.

  486. I want to have beautiful eloquent thoughts here, because the sentiment you gave is wonderful. But I can’t concentrate on that because I’m still laughing too hard over the fact that you compared feminism to Sharknado.

    And Partrick freaking Stewart. Beautiful.

    • giggles over sharknado *

  488. I am always open to critiques on modern feminism, but this stuff on Tumblr isn’t it. Trust me, I tried to look for good arguments. I AM personally offended by the ‘hair’ comment. I don’t shave because I can’t be arsed. That is all. And they keep perpetuating the misconception that feminists automatically hate men. Almost every girl I know considers herself a feminist and we all have at least one relationship with a man. Not one of us hates men as far as I know.

  489. You are about to find out that Feminism is a convenient bi-product of all far left revolutions. Soviet women have been less damaged because they were not subjected to complete gender ambiguity. All we had to do is make women equal under the law and provide the means of working in any appropriate field of choice (not men’s football) and it would have been fine but you have bitten hook line and sinker on all the other left wing propaganda namely destroying families and enslaving women into low pay jobs to cover banking inflation and misdeeds.
    Have you read Simone de Bevoir? She wanted women to NOT have the option to stay home.

    You are sadly misled, READ THE EXCERPT BELOW BEFORE you comment and try to be useful not Lenin’s “usedful idiots” or use your emotions, just read and think for Gods sake.

    While trying to recruit Aaron Russo to CFR (Council on Foreign Relations), Nicholas Rockefeller told that his family foundation created women’s liberation using mass media control. Interview with Aaron Russo is available on YouTube. I would recommend you to do some study on CFR and TC (Trilateral Commission) and also the international bankers like Rockefeller and Rothschild family to understand their power and how evil they are. To keep the long story short, they are the master brain behind CFR, TC, EU, “Builderberg” etc. Reports say, this secret society’s ultimate aim is to establish a “New World Order” to enslave the global population.
    Behind the façade of “women’s rights”, Feminism teaches that heterosexual roles (wife, mother etc) are socially constructed by MEN and oppressive to WOMEN. This underscores the fact that feminism was created to destabilize the society and undermine the institution of family. Aaron Russo says, the two key reasons given by Nicholas Rockefeller were

    Before women’s lib we couldn’t tax half of the population

    We can indoctrinate kids in school at early ages. When there is no male figure in the family, kids start seeing the State as their family who provide and protect.

    American feminist icon Gloria Steinem, (an ex CIA agent) proudly claims in one of her own books that CIA funded Ms Magazine with the stated goal of breaking up the families and taxing women. (Divide and conquer policy)

    By the way your animal analogies are terrible at best.

  492. I’m a mens rights activist. Odd that I have been met with non stop hostility from feminists for 25 years now for wanting equality for men. Welcome to the real world.

  493. Maybe we couldn’t tax women because they couldn’t get a job. They couldn’t get a bank account, or a new car or birth control without the signed consent of their father or brother (if married, it had to be the husband, even if the husband had left the picture). A woman who had had enough children couldn’t get a tubal ligation without the consent of her husband. Even in the late 1970s a woman who was the main support of her family needed her husband’s signature in order to get or renew her mortgage. It was even possible for a man to declare his daughter ‘incorrigible’ if he didn’t like the man she was with, and have her committed to a psych hospital – this is an adult woman, btw.
    These rules no longer exist. Thanks, Feminism.

  495. Well said. There are many Feminist blogs out there that take a less understanding, and more hard line view on expression of beliefs. I myself do not identify as a feminist, mainly because of the extremist factions in the deep, dark corners of the web. Instead, i choose Egalitarian. Complete equality for all. I share many, if not all, of the beliefs of those good bee’s you speak of. I say this because it is often hard to find a feminist blog that does not belittle someone for not choosing the title that blog wants them to choose. Thank you for being a voice of reason. Ultimately, it is someones actions, how they vote and what they do, that defines them. The chance to have that right based on where feminism has touched needs to be acknowledged.

  496. I can’t tell you how much I loved this piece! Thanks so much for putting into words exactly how I feel. I’m totally quoting you and linking to this post on my blog.

  498. Saying that being in favor of sexual equality makes you a feminist is precisely as useful as saying that being opposed to rule by a hereditary monarch makes you a republican.

    Saying that being opposed to the feminist movement as it exists today means you want to roll things back to the sex roles of the 1950s is precisely as honest as saying being opposed to the Republican Party as it exists today means you want to reverse the abolition of slavery.

  502. Lyra, your comment “Perhaps women who see themselves as feminists tried to keep the more extreme under control (for lack of better wording) maybe more women would considered themselves feminist.”

    That statement is an oxymoron. As a feminist, I wouldn’t want to stifle any one’s freedom of speech. Especially since some I consider radical say some pretty funny shit. If they didn’t have the right to say it I wouldn’t have the opportunity to giggle. And radicalism isn’t just a purview of Feminism…there are radical Republicans, Democrats, Christians (not you) etc, etc… if we shut out everybody that we don’t like we’ll never grow or learn from our mistakes.

  503. When liberal feminists manage to oust the loud mouthed radical feminists and stop their wittering about archaic, quasi marxist ‘issues’ like objectification and patriarchal conspiracy theories, then the word feminism might regain some respect for the average person. More people self identify as egalitarian than feminist.
    30 minutes ago · Like

  505. Good article! I think what gives feminism a bad reputation is when they modify their version of “equal rights” to “rights over men”, because in it self corrupts the very idea of equality. I think that more than to ask for equality of gender, I believe that first we should fight for equality of respect for everyone, including their life choices (and I mean, as an example, if a woman chooses to be a stay-at-home mother that she doesn’t get looked down upon by other women). Then, equality will come easily.

  509. I don’t think anyone has ever said it better. Also SHARK WEEK is the best week of the year next to Christmas/New Year’s. Also I want to marry Sir Patrick, or at least be his BFF.

  510. Love your voice and I also love strong women and men who have careers, families, interests, and opinions; who are active in their communities; who read and stay informed.

  511. I’m not a feminist. I’m also not an anti-feminist. I’m frustrated by the fact that feminism literally means equality, yet the word ‘feminism’ clearly has a female connotation. So, why the hell do we call it feminism? Why can we not call it EQUALITY? I believe in equality. I do not believe in feminism. What is so equal about using a word in favor to females? The word ‘feminism’ does not prove equality at all.

  516. “Why do we need labels?” “Why can’t we all get along?” “Lets all just be equal?” “I am a humanist” — Whatever. Just go back to doodling hearts and puppies on your notebook, girls.

    Feminists agree with all of you but don’t have their heads up their asses to think that just wishing it will make it true. Feminists see that the world does label us; Pits us against each other; Treats us as unequal; Dehumanizes us (seen any TV or internet lately?).

    We are calling out the bullshit so that we can have a world free of labels, where we are all getting along, where we are all equal and human. Feminists see that the world has unfair and arbitrary rules and expectations about women and girls’ values and that harms everybody.

    Love your post Blogess. I like that you don’t do too much to convince anyone that they must stop not being a feminist. I think it is an important message to the rest of us who are that we can’t forget that will ignorance will always conspire to create an unjust world. Or as Judge Judy says: “…stupid is forever.”

  517. I know exactly why I’m not a feminist. It’s because the feminists I’ve encountered really can’t explain a lot of the contradictions I see in the movement in a satisfactory way, which would cause me to change my belief system. They point to history – but, I can read books and I know women’s history. We live in a much better time than women did 50 years ago. That’s not my starting point. We don’t live in the 1960’s anymore. It’s the 21st century. It is possible that Hillary could be our next President. Women are outnumbering men on college campuses and they are in top professions. We’ve got a female CEO running GM. Females running IT companies – in male dominated industries. That would have been considered a joke back in the day. So, how exactly is pointing out “patriarchy” helping your cause these days? Women are much more integrated than they were. The world isn’t like it was 60 years ago and we can’t pretend that it still is. Feminists also point to number counting (more men here than more women), but again, when it comes to politics feminists will promote a male candidate over a female candidate, despite their rhetoric. (And somehow, they know more about women’s issues than a woman candidate does? Huh?) So, that tells me that feminists are more interested in promoting a specific policy agenda and, if they man supports it, then they’ll support the man over the woman. I see that as being a hypocrite, talking out of both sides of the mouth.

    When the feminists start supporting sisters with my values and stop demeaning my intelligence, then I’d be happy to say that I’m a feminist. Given what I see, I can’t in good conscious support an “ism” that doesn’t seem to like women like me. Don’t claim to support all women when clearly there is a bias against women with conservative, pro-life values. It is what it is.

  519. Actually it was my great aunt who was killed by bees, but whatever.
    No, seriously, she was. And I don’t even hate bees! I love bees. I tell my son stop saying that he hates bees. I tell my husband to let the dandelions grow a bit because they are one of the first flowers that are out that bees like and we need the bees. I love the bees as long as they don’t sting me. Or my mom, she’s highly allergic. And they better not hurt my babies. But I will only hate that one bee and it’s useless anyways because now it’s dead and no one cares about that one any longer. So what I am saying is that everyone should take this same approach to feminism or something. Don’t hate all feminists. But maybe being angry at the one who seriously does something ridiculous and against everything that is right in the world is alright. But if they are too crazy, no one probably cares about them.

  520. Why do people keep insisting that if you believe in equality you must be a feminist? As if you can’t have egalitarian principles outside of those that flatter a feminist ideology. It’s like right-wing Christians saying that if you believe in justice or mercy you must be a Christian.

    Guh.

  522. Feminism is NOT “inherently good”. It’s sole purpose is to destroy and sissify men. Give me an example of how woman are not treated equally in our society today. And please don’t use the Supreme Court Hobby Lobby decision as an example….companies not paying for abortion drugs is not denying anyone their rights. If you need abortion drugs there is no one stopping you from buying them. Women today are rejection feminism because they don’t hate men and they actually want men to have the same opportunities to excel and produce I’m this world. Woman today see no reason to continue playing the victim. It’s a great development to see our future generations exposing feminism for what it really is.

  523. I get what you’re saying, but in the wake of recent Twitter activism, the perfect name for this article, and the women posting in it, is #NotAllFeminists. But that’s the thing, when feminists don’t rout TERFs every time they rear their heads, when feminists don’t demand conscription for women or make ending it one of their goals, when feminists insist that men still have almost all the sexual power, it becomes impossible.

    Impossible.

    To actually take it seriously. The evidence striking down feminist dogma is absolutely unforgiving. I previously counted myself among your number, but just can’t anymore. The movement’s grown so big it’s collapsed under its own weight. I’m sorry, but while #NotAllFeminists are blind to the world around them, all feminists are complicit in keeping it a worse place.

  524. Thoughtful and provoking of further thoughts …. I consider myself a humanist …. There are thousands upon thousands of layers of history behind “inequality” ….. The one statement I will make here is that I have suffered more abuse, violence, bullying and other oppressive behaviours from women …. Family, friends, colleagues alike. I have never been told by a man (with any expectation that I’d listen if they did try) that I can’t do this or that. But the number of women that have ….. Shamefully high.

  526. Great, articulate post. Your essence is dead-on–Know what feminism is. Don’t just rail against one small aspect that someone decided might be relevant. And if you know what it is and that’s just not what you’re about? Cool, we all have a right to be who we want!

  527. Sorry, going to have to disagree on you here. Your point is that we shouldn’t judge things by the most radical of the type. But thw thing is, the most radical of the type are the most famous, most well-known, and most in-your-face (SCUM manifesto and Andrea Dworkin come to mind). Like bees and sharks, they may be inherently good, but the shark that chews a guy’s legs off is going to get reported on the news. If you want us to like feminism, push the good feminists to the front and throw the radicals out the window….so they can be eaten by sharks.

  531. Too often feminism is simply translated as “anti-men.” While that version certainly exists, for many–like me–feminism is really humanism (I’m not meaning the philosophical definition of the word but rather in the sense that you describe as being for the human race). If men weren’t being allowed to go to school, or were the main gender sold as sex slaves or raped, or weren’t paid the same as women, or were repeatedly taught that their value was rooted in their appearance, or were oppressed in other ways, I would fight for them. But that isn’t our world. At least not as I see it. We still have a lot of work left to do.

  532. PS–just so as not to be misunderstood–the work I mean that is left to be done is not to create a world where that is the reality for men…I mean working to get women out of all of those various forms of oppression.

  533. Laughed so hard !!!! Love your style !!! Now, what can we do to get you in the white house?

  534. Fantastic! The women who start the anti-feminist movement are actually feminists because they, like you said, have the ability to speak their own minds….a true essence of feminism right that.

  538. if feminism is such an egalitarian movement why is it dead set against men right movements? after all their also are for equality. If it is all for equality why does it not campaign for women’s obligations for selective services? men’s reproductive rights? men support and sheltering when they are clearly the most disadvantaged group in education, in old age and in like in general? Why is that feminism systematically ignores ALL men related issues while it campaign for women’s only action even when statistics clearly indicate that the issue involves both sexes equally or males are more affected??
    This equality smells a lot more like privilege and hegemony to me

  539. I’m sure I will called every name in the book for expressing my opinion on this but does anyone see anything the least bit hypocritical about viciously insulting other women for disagreeing with them? If I don’t support the modern feminist movement I’m automatically labeled stupid, anti-woman, backwards, oppressed, etc. among other things, a lot of them pretty vulgar. If people are to be judged on their words and actions then I would have to assume that most feminists hate, loathe and despise any woman with a dissenting viewpoint. I think that a lot of these women would be much more open to the concept of feminism if feminists were willing to have an honest and respectful discussion with them. For everyone who responds to my post by hating on me, you’re just proving my point.

  540. Hi 🙂

    I love your posts, especially this one 🙂 together with my friends we are writing a small blog about feminism etc. We are just thinking about making the blog in our native language – Polish and we would love to bring the brilliant thoughts of feminists around the world to people of Poland. And with your permission, I would love to translate your post and put it on our Polish blog (all credit etc. will be given to you). It’s just some people are too lazy/don’t know English that well to read your post in English and understand all of your points.

    It would be lovely if you grant me permission to translate your work and share it.

    Best,

    Hanna

    (Sure. You can translate and repost this post as long as it’s credited to me. Thanks! ~ Jenny)

  542. I think what the anti-feminist crowd is advocating against is the devaluation of men – and yes, there is movement out there to do so. We don’t need men to be help raise our children or even make our children. We treat them like inept, bumbling idiots who incapable of doing much of anything except satisfying our sexual desires – maybe not even that. I honestly don’t need someone to tell me how I should feel, or vote, or think as a women – and yes I consider myself a feminist because I believe that as a women, I can choose how I live my life. But I like men. I think they’re awesome AND I happen to want a man who acts like a man and doesn’t allow me to boss him around and treat him like a buffoon. I want to be able to choose those things and not be told I’m a poor excuse for a woman because I won’t tow the line of the political definition of a feminist.

  543. Pingback: Feminism? Or Not. | Kathy Nida

  544. I can’t believe this is even a thing but, shit… I don’t even know anymore. Thanks for making me laugh. It’s better than just saying people are idiots which is what I would have done. Gotta go secrete some wax now.

  546. I’ve never loved you more! But I’m going to have to think about that ‘sharks are beneficial’ thing.

  547. I’m glad you wrote this post. Some of the responses over on the twitters are horrible. Some people don’t understand that feminism isn’t about hating men. And sadly, many people are showing their ignorance when it comes to intersectional feminism. They are all about feminism, but they are thinking in terms of white, able-bodied women. Forgetting women of color have different issues along with the typical issues. And also, women with disabilities have still more issues. Came across this interesting article about that very topic. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/24/yesallwomen-but-not-really-how-feminism-leaves-the-disabled-behind.html

  550. When I was around 10, my father told me that I was a feminist. I didn’t know what that was, but he said that someday I would and that I should always be proud to be a feminist. By the time I was 16, I understood what he was trying to tell me. I had been dismissed by teachers, treated like I was owned by the boss at my first job, and in dozens of those quick, sometimes quiet ways of making females feel ‘less than’ that we all experience on a daily basis out in the world. Today, we have a woman who is the candidate of a major political party. And we should all be rejoicing. YET, major newspapers used pictures of men and crowds on their front pages. They used the word “Clinton” and didn’t mention her first name or show her face. So when someone asks why we need “feminism”? Pull out one of those national newspapers and point to the headline and to the picture that doesn’t represent the human being that just made it to last rung of the highest ladder in this country.

  551. I do love you so much. I want to hug you but I don’t want to frighten you away, so I’ll send gentle virtual hugs from Arizona. Don’t ever change.

  552. Im all for feminism and support equal rights for women. what i loathe is when any women gets blind support from women in general simply and wholly because she is a women, it completely undermines objectiveness and only serves to weakens any hope of equality when that person turns out to be unworthy of that support for various reasons. Like Hillary bloody Clinton, a crook by any measure, like her husband. It is sickening to see women blindly support someone who is not only crooked but is entirely unworthy of wide female support due to the many times she has clammed up and meekly faded into the ether when her husband has cheated on her. She has neither set a good example for her own daughter, but any woman on the planet. Why did she do this, because she held political ambition over all the ideals feminism holds dear. She is ant feminism, and she deserves your contempt, not your vote. She is no ally. As a man, i simply dont want to see her anywhere near the White House, she is a crook (going back 30 years), simple as that, wholly dishonest and caught many times telling less than the truth. She cant even tell the truth about what happened to 30,000 emails. Ive only just seen our news coverage of the DNC, and Chelsea Clinton introducing her mother as her hero….sickening. People will say anything when the White House is visible on the horizon. Its hard for me to determine who is less fit to be President, Clinton or Trump, either way youre not going to get a stable and worthy candidate, i’d argue that at least Trumps never lied to congress, so thats one point for Donald. Seriously diminishing themselves in my eyes are both Sanders and Obama, by joining in the sickening pantomime of endorsing Clinton. Still, if Trump’s ability to even run as a candidate didnt highlight it enough for me, the endorsement of Clinton really forces it home, its a game, and not one that the public seem willing to recognise as such. Is it to late to get two new and worth candidates, i shudder to think as a citizen of the world what will happen if either of these two get the top job. I certainly dont want Trump to win, but Clinton scares me more…..
    Anyone who thinks theyre a feminist and supports Clinton isnt a feminist, theyre a yes man. she is not your champion, she, as shes always been, and opportunist, like her husband. She using feminists blind support, and that exposes my central argument, that when you blindly support a female simply because shes a female, youre likely to get an opportunistic rat instead…

  553. Yes to every thing you said. But mostly, thank you for the Patrick Stewart clip.

  554. I honestly can’t believe a “Women Against Feminists” group actually exists LOL. It’s the ultimate contradiction and one of the peaks of anti-intellectualism in society.
    They might as well rename it, “we’re complicit and cowardice women who hate ourselves, you should hate yourself too.”
    Feminism simply means equal rights for everyone, aka HUMAN RIGHTS. I have a daughter, wife, mother, aunts, nieces, and a wonderful grandmothers. I don’t have the luxury to putting them in danger of rape, murder, and oppression by not being a feminist myself.
    I am not afraid to respect the women and girls of my life. They are human beings too, therefore they deserve respect and equal say and equal opportunities.

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