I think I fucked this up.
I’ve never used Storify before so I decided to try it out. I have no clue if this will work or why it won’t let me post the whole thing without you having to click “go to the next page” at the bottom. (For the love of God, don’t click “view as a slideshow” or your computer will just shut down. Apparently my computer hates slideshows as much as I do. Just click inside the storify box and page down.)
I may never do this again.