Questions that haunt me. Show your work.

in Polls to help me win arguments, Random Crap, weekly reruns

This week has been full of angst and weirdness and deep questions that keep us up too late at night and I’m not smart enough to debate them now, so instead  I’m asking you for help in answering an important question that’s been haunting me since I first started arguing with Victor about it in the 90’s:

bloggesspopsicle

I’m not going to tell you what I think because Victor says it’s creating a bias in the poll results, but I will tell you that I would never eat “eight popsicles in a row” because that would be insane, but eating four popsicles on a hot day is a completely reasonable and healthy response.  Okay…your turn:

 

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And now, time for the weekly wrap-up:

shit i did


 Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:

Shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Love On El Camino, a fascinating blog which follows Shannon and Eric, as they hike 600 miles thru France and Spain on El Camino de Santiago de Compostela. Even though they are on this journey together, they are driven by different purposes. You can follow along on their pilgrimage, as they write vulnerably, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. The kicker is that they aren’t reading what the other one writes until the week before their wedding in October. Until then, only you, as the reader, will know both sides of the story.  You should check it out here.

303 thoughts on “Questions that haunt me. Show your work.”

Read comments below or add one.

  8. Going for the last answer because your cats version of crazy makes MY cats crazy look normal. Sort of. Shit – I think it’s catching. I need a popsicle. Damn.

  9. Why can’t it be one popsicle thats meant to be shared, but only if you feel like it? It’s not you eating two popsicles at a time it’s other people eating half a popsicle.

  10. I voted for one popsicle, two sticks for stability. But I don’t eat popsicles because they ALWAYS DRIP no matter how careful I am and I cannot stand when they drip down my chin. I was this way as a kid, too. I’m a freak, but my husband is kinda used to me by now.

  14. It’s clearly two Popsicles forced into a Siamese twin-like abomination by the marketing industry in order to simultaneously appeal to our desires for tastiness and horror. Inspired, really.

  17. Did I ruin the poll by voting for both one, and two? Why wasn’t there an option for “this is an incredibly good question and I will ponder it philosophically for a few years before writing a book”?

  18. First, my mother was the ultimate authority on popsicles so I’m sorry sister but–that’s two damn popsicles. I tried your argument hundreds of times only to be overruled. I am now firmly in the two popsicle camp. And second, the calming manatees. Oh boy. I used to watch these near the dock at my parents’ winter rental in Florida. They were so gentle and sweet–but so dumb. They’d bump into the dock. Do it again. Do it again. Trying to go through supports rather than around them. So they’re not calming to me. In fact, I’m agitated just thinking about it. Hopefully, no one else has this phobia and can enjoy your selfless share:).

  20. .Does your cat have that look in his eyes because his tail is below him or am I just confused by the question?

  21. The collective “they” started calling the small sections of a graham cracker a serving to keep it in cholesterol-free range.

  23. If you can show me a video of someone who can break that in half without it all falling on the ground, you can call it two popsicles. Otherwise, no.

  26. It’s one Popsicle, then it becomes two smaller Popsicles when you break it—- like an amoeba only more delicious and slightly less likely to eat your eyeballs/ brain.

  27. I have nightmares as a child of trying to break them into two popsicles. Inevitably it would crack in a bad place and about half of it would slide off onto the ground. I finally decided that being an only child meant that I NEVER had to crack them in two again….until I got married.
    He can get his own damn popsicle.

  28. I think the more urgent question is “What do I have to do for TWO Klondike Bars?”

  29. Its both! Its one popsicle if you buy them for yourself. Its two if you’re a kid and you’re parents are cheap. LOL

  30. Your cat needs therapy. Popsicle therapy. And I say it’s ONE popsicle. Hold one stick. Nibble side two off the other stick. Then scarf down the original side before it melts. Now we all need popsicle therapy.

  31. Back in my younger days I worked for Wells Blue Bunny on the Popsicle line during summer vacation from college. Those things are poured, molded, stocked and wrapped as one Popsicle. Also, they are heavy as shit. I got forearms like Popeye after a month.

  33. Definitely one, it’s way to hard to properly break those in two. Therefore creating more problems and increasing the likelyhood that SOMEONE will end up with a Popsicle on the ground.

    No one needs that kind of negativity.

  34. I agree with Portia above. One Popsicle with two sticks so that if someone you really like looks at you mournfully enough, you have the option of breaking it (and yes, I have cleanly broken these) and each having a half Popsicle. Besides, one wrapper = one Popsicle, regardless of number of sticks.

  35. The answer depends on your definition of “popsicle.” By your not-fair-to-Victor comments after your question about how many can be eaten guilt-free on a hot day, you have chosen to define “popsicle” by volume. That thing looks like it is about 1.5 times as big as the average popsicle we see, so the correct answer is, it’s 1.5 popsicles.

    …but wait! As soon as I first typed “popsicle,” Google Chrome put a red squiggly line under it saying I was spelling it wrong. When I right-click on it to get Google’s suggested spelling, Google says I have to capitalize it. Which immediately implies that Popsicle(R) is a registered trademark and can only legally refer to one particular brand of them, like Kleenex(R). And sure enough, that’s what a web search turns up: http://www.popsicle.com. So all those other things are merely the frozen-sugar-water version of “facial tissues.” The Edy’s ones in my freezer are called “fruit ice bars.”

    And so now we can answer definitively how many Popsicles are in that picture. Zero. You can look at all the Popsicle(R) products and see that that thing in your picture is not one of them: http://www.popsicle.com/product/category/107649/popsicle. So you may eat an infinite number or your two-handled thingies on a hot day with no guilt whatsoever.

  36. You forgot the option of “It’s a trick by the popsicle company to make you think that it’s 2 popsicles, but since it’s virtually impossible to separate them, you go ahead and eat them both. Then, because you feel guilty for eating 2 popsicles, you get depressed, and then you eat another one (2), thus increasing the sale popsicles.”

  38. Siamese popsicles. Separation should only be attempted where no risk to the popsicles is anticipated.

  39. I really wanted to pick the cat answer, because that cracked me up, but I had to go with “two Popsicles,” even though your hint strongly suggested that you may be in the one-popsicle camp. But even though it’s two, they’re clearly meant to be eaten at the same time, like Ho Ho’s or Twinkies. And if there’s nobody else around at the precise moment of consumption, that is in no way your fault, right? Right.

  40. Popsicles are hydration which is very important and should not be questioned, no matter how many you chose yo hydrate with. Clearly, you needed it.

  41. It’s one popsicle, but they perforate it so you CAN share. Like this is one chocolate bar totally acceptable to eat on your own, but they thoughtfully made it easy to share when necessary.

  43. Are those awful things still around? I hated them because of the confusion of two sticks in one container and because of the lack of chocolate. They were, however, great if you needed lots of popsicle sticks for a craft project later, or if you wanted to chop up the popsicle so you could eat it in a bowl with a spoon to avoid the inevitable mess of not being able to eat it fast enough.

  44. I think I am smart enough to say you still biased your poll, but I’m ok with that. It’s clearly only one popsicle, no matter what Victor says. The other stick is only there for when you are too little and your parent has to eat half, or make you split with your younger sibling… once you are grown up you get to eat a whole one. Like cookies… wait, was that just me?

  45. Have to agree with the people pointing out those things are nearly impossible to break into two equal parts, as my many years as the older of two siblings (who had to share) can attest.

  46. it is two that you are suppose to share with someone who got a different flavor. So two pops are one serving. My sister and I would give each other half so we would have two flavors at once.

  47. It’s one popsicle with the option for 2 – that way you can steal half your kid’s popsicle by pointing out it’s made to be shared 😀

  48. You buy it as a single item so it is therefore one popsicle. Just like a packet of Tim Tams is really just one chocolate biscuit (and I am therefore entitled to eat the packet on my own). It’s how the universe is supposed to work.

  49. I ONLY chose the answer “two” because I can’t eat both halves without wearing them. They just melt too fast. As a child, one half of what you are holding was a serving, but as an adult all bets are off.

  51. I’m more concerned with how your cat is eye ballin’ the whole situation. He’s obviously plotting something nefarious. I suggest not going to sleep tonight!

  53. If it was supposed to be two popsicles, it would be perforated down the middle so that it would easily & cleanly break in half. However, it never cleanly breaks down the middle so it is obviously one popsicle.

  54. Um, that is the greatest photo in the history of the universe, just so you know.

  57. I used to work for a large ice cream company – sooooo that means I know my shit. It’s one, unless Victor asks for 1. Then it’s 2 and you get to eat the other half. 😉

  58. My mom always said it was 2 and I had to share. But we had issues. There were 3 of us. I was much older than the other 2 so shouldn’t I get one whole one to myself? YES. YES. Go tell her.

  59. Thank you for sharing the thoughts you’ve had this week. It has been tough at our house, and I needed a laugh and a moment’s pause. Mo Mints Paws would be a great name for a cat.

    I am sometimes scared witless when I am reminded that the world is governed by our meaningless assumptions about one another. Affected and Depression can be managed are good reminders that I’m not the only one.

  60. Why must we choose only 1 answer? That is ONE popsicle, but I’m also wondering why the cat is traumatized by said popsicle.

  61. It’s only two if your mom is cruel and/or really poor. And if you can break them without ending up with 1/2 a pop on one stick and 1 1/2 on the other, you are a wizard.

  63. The Popsicle website says the Twin Pop was invented during the Great Depression so 2 children could share one pop for only 5 cents.
    1. The Depression is over…get your own.
    2. They cost a lot more than 5 cents now…get your own.
    3. My body weight probably equals that of two Depression era children, so…

  65. I really do believe that it is one Popsicle, but you can break it in half so that you can have half of your root beer flavor and half of your friends grape flavor!
    However I chose other, because the Popsicle in the picture is clearly yellow, which means banana, which is gross and therefore not a Popsicle in my eyes.

  67. I’m glad I’m not American and don’t have to face this dilemma (we only have popsicles for one in this country, because we’re realists about how selfish people are around frozen treats). However, those sticks are clearly not there for stability (I’m an expert from the land of one-sticked popsicles), but it’s still one popsicle. You can just break it if you’re feeling generous. Which is what I don’t get about this, because the time I feel generous about my popsicle is never.

  68. It’s only two Popsicles when it comes to small children. Because you don’t want kids to have all that sugar, it teaches sharing, and most importantly, that leaves more for you.

  69. I just couldn’t chose an answer in that poll because honestly I think my opinion changes based on my current state of mind…..

  70. Victor has apparently never tried to break one of those suckers in half. Impossible, it is obviously one popsicle.

  71. It depends if you’re planning on pulling then apart. If so, then two. But if you leave it intact while consuming it’s totally only one popsicle.

  73. It’s 1 if you have it, 2 if someone else does.

    No, really, it’s 1. They are individually wrapped.

  74. I view it as a Kit Kat type deal. They make it easy to share if you so choose, but it’s really just one iceblock, which means if you’re sharing you’re technically have .5 of an iceblock each.

  75. THANKS FOR TONIGHT’S ARGUMENT. ;p. I say it’s meant to be two, hubby says it’s one “twin pop”. UGH

  76. I think it is supposed to be two to share, but really, who does that? Touch my popsicle and I will stab you. With the sticks. 🙂 Maybe. Or I might just glare at you till you wish I did.

  77. This week was NO DOUBT full of awful. I even lost the ability to dress myself properly for inclusion in polite company (see attached post).

  78. I agree with everyone else who says that if it comes in one wrapper, it’s one popsicle. What kind of monster would make you take TWO popsicles out of the freezer, open the wrapper, break one off, and then put the remaining popsicle in its open wrapper back in the freezer, where the defrost cycle will slowly eat it away until it is a wasted shadow of its former self?

  80. P.S. Beamer is right. Banana popsicles are manufactured across the river Styx by the imps of Hell. The only thing that should taste like a banana is a banana. Not a frosty treat. Worse: Banana Laffy Taffy. WTF?
    My apologies if that was a lemon flavored popsicle.

  81. It’s technically one popsicle. One wrapper = one popsickle. But it comes with the option of sharing. Or, if you are on a diet and can’t have popsicles you just eat one half at a time. Because half ones totally don’t count. You could eat eight halfs on a hot day and didn’t cheat on your diet because you never ate a whole popsicle.

  83. I need to change my vote… I voted for single Popsicle before I went back and looked at the cats eyes. Now, I’m more concerned about what that kitty is watching than the Popsicles. But back to the Popsicle, this is probably why I’m fat, and don’t care, because I view everything with the assumption that it could only be one serving. Why else would they put two nutty bars in one cellophane package?!? These are also things that keep me up at night.

  84. Clearly, it’s one popsicle. I mean, if they wanted it to be two popsicles, they’d have split them before putting them in the wrapper. One wrapper = one popsicle.

  85. It’s two. They are siamese twins. The option to separate them is not always an option. And sometimes if you try, one of them is not whole.

  87. I answer none of the above. It is Schrödinger’s Popsicle, being both one popsicle and two popsicles simultaneously. Which one it is can not be determined until the popsicle is actually eaten.

  88. It’s two popsicles, but one serving. You are under no obligation to share. As stated above, it comes in one package and doesn’t break well enough for that to be its purpose.

  89. Ah, a poll. Lucky for me I just finished eating and am not hungry. But now I have to run to the grocery story for popsicles.

  90. It is 1 popsicle but to eat it properly you have to break it in two & hope you don’t crack it in half. The right way to crack it in half iss to beat against a doorframe corner to get it right & then you hve to eat the first piece before the second piece melts too much & is a pile of mush

  91. It’s one, that you can opt to share… or that if giving to small kidlets, you can break into appropriate portions. But for adults- one.

  93. So…I voted other, not to really cause chaos but because it is ONE Popsicle…However, the second stick is there for you to break it in half in case you want to share it. You are under no obligation to share it, but you know…in case you feel like it you can share. Like, if that is that last Popsicle in the bag or something. Or maybe you can’t decide on a flavor and decide to break two Popsicles in half to create a new super flavor. You just want one Popsicle and not two (because people get judgy when you take two) and that way you get both flavors without the guilt of eating two Popsicles at once. Wow…that came out way more rambly than I meant it too.

  95. For marydpierce, I make my son put the popsicle stick through a cupcake wrapper to catch the drips.

  97. My mom thought it was two, until she tried to split one in half for my brother and I and of course it did not break evenly and there was much wailing and whining and shoving and from then on she bought Otter pops.

  98. My husband says it is both and neither. It is Schrodinger’s popsicle. My step daughter says, “There is no popsicle. It is all in my tummy.

  99. One popsicle. Maybe I’m strange, but I always broke mine in half (it’s easier to do while it is still in the wrapper) and ate one half at a time. The second half was always better, because it was getting all melty and softer to eat. And banana popsicles are rare and wonderful things! What is wrong with people? I couldn’t decide how to vote, because despite it being one popsicle, eating it without breaking it in two seems really weird to me. So I voted for the cat, but I think the cat wants the popsicle.

  100. I voted 2 but it’s sort of a trick question. When giving them to my kids it’s two, when eating it myself it’s one.

  101. Why isn’t there an “A” and “D” choice? I had to settle the debate at hand, but I am also very concerned for the cat.

  102. When I was a kid, my parents gave me whole popsicles, but then they sent me to this seriously bitchy woman who ran a daycare out of her house, and she broke all the popsicles in half. When I innocently told her, “At home I get a whole popsicle,” she coldly replied, “Well, you’re not AT home, are you?” Plus she gave me half of a green one. The worst kind. And one of her kids stole a toy from me. So, yeah. Those are each one popsicle, with two sticks. Because fuck you, asshole daycare lady.

  103. It’s A twinpop… It morphs into 2 pops when broken in half. But you don’t do that for sharing. What frickdiculousness is that? Unless by “sharing” you mean “with your other hand”. It’s so you don’t have a ring of color around your mouth like a homeless huffer.

  104. I would also like to add. Have you ever seen someone ACTUALLY share this type of Popsicle? Answer: NEVER

  105. Is that banana flavor? That would make it one for me. Now, grape…. two sticks, two popsicles.

  106. technically, one…unless your mom/dad is making you share with your little sibling and you have to begrudgingly comply. ;D Though, on the poll I admit I voted for the cat. ha=ha!
    In other news, a Houston shout-out for https://www.facebook.com/PearlandLittleLeague because they rock baseball like nobody’s business. Hope the train keeps on going!

  108. I have the same problem with graham crackers. Is each sheet one, two or four?

  109. My feeling is it’s one popsicle — the outside of the box lists the number of popsicles and it corresponds with the number of wrapped units, each unit being one of what’s shown in your picture. (That grammar’s all weird, I just got up from a nap.). I don’t always advocate packaging as the final answer, but it happens to line up with my own beliefs. I will say, though, that the first thing I noticed in the photo was your cat obviously seeing a ghost. You might want to check into that, next.

  110. I’ve always thought it’s like one and a half. Like a chair-and-a-half or one of those shareable sized m&m bags. Big enough that you can share, but small enough that you don’t want to.

  111. A one stick “popsical is called a whammy stick. Anyone who had a Good Humor truck come by in the summer knows that, sheesh…

  112. I think they are two popsicles, but this sharing you mention is unheard of. I always broke it apart and put the second half in the freezer. That way it doesn’t melt while you are eating the first. Also eating 8 popsicles in a day is fine, totally a good number.

  114. They don’t even work as two popsicles because when you break them they don’t break evenly…ever, and some of it always falls off when broken as well.

  116. It’s only two popsicles if you break it in half before you begin to consume it.

  117. If it’s my Popsicle then it is only one Popsicle. If it’s your Popsicle, then it’s 2 Popsicles and you have to give me one.

  118. Damn! Are you really going to start this family argument again after 30 years???? Now I am compelled to tweet/FB/email my sisters so I can get them all riled up! That is ONE Popsicle in its ONE wrapper to be eaten and enjoyed by ONE person! Me! (And I don’t share!!!). If you don’t believe me, ask my sisters. #Popsiclefight #30yearsago

  119. It is two popsicles (who needs stability in popsicles). However, they are smaller than standard popsicles, so it is perfectly acceptable to eat both of them, which is why it comes in only one wrapper.

  120. Those things have driven me nuts from the day I met them. Even if you DO try and split them in half to share, they don’t break evenly. They’re like evil wishbones.

  121. Robert in Chicago (comment 35) is my new hero and has, I think, sealed the discussion for all eternity. No more guilt, no more questioning, just an eternity of imitation ice -juice -stick eating for everyone… except the poor saps who splurged and got the brand name ones. Poor things.

  125. It’s one if your alone and two if you have someone there and it’s the last one… But, it could still be one if your a stingy ass. I would probably just give it all to the other person. Making decisions is a bitch.. plus, I hate half in things and they not be perfectly even.. So, I would just give up and take a nap.. life too hard when uneven portions are involved. Or I’m just odd. Oh well.. night..

  128. I’d say that 8 popsicles is equivalent to a pint of ice cream. Therefore there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating 8 popsicles.

  129. It’s one Popsicle. If you offer to share it, you say “do you want half?,” not “do you want one of my conjoined Popsicles?”

  133. About those calming manatees – you so need to go to Florida where I spent part of my recent vacation. I went kayaking with manatees. They are truly calming creatures that swam around our kayaks basically playing in the water. Moms with young ones. I know you sometimes can’t travel, but you may find it calming as I did. and don’t worry, it takes 15 minutes of paddling to get to wear they hang out. Take a 2 person kayak and let victor do the paddling.

  134. If you broke it in half lengthwise it becomes two popsicles, but it you cut them in half width – wise you’d have two halves of one popsicle. So actually, what you have here is an ABOMINATION! !

  135. As mentioned above i believe they are twin pops so… As twins are a set of two twin pops must also be two? Kind of. Maybe the serving size on the box has the awnser.

  136. They probably call ’em “twin pops” for a reason…just saying.

  137. And popsicles only have like 10 calories each. You can eat like two boxes before it’s even equivalent to a piece of cake. But then you need a balanced diet so eat the cake, too.

  138. If the eaters are children, it is two popsicles. If they are adults, it’s one. It all depends on stomach size. Just like, “one serving” of ice cream gets bigger when we grow up. (or pretend to grow up).

  139. I almost cried at Calming Manatee. This is what I always needed.

    As for stabbing assholes… A friend of mine once kicked me right in the pooper. Dead center. I thought I was going to die. I doubled over in unbelievable pain and almost never got up. (I know that’s not what you meant by “stabbing assholes” but that’s the story that came to mind. I’m sorry.)

  140. I am sorry but the wrapper dictates the number of popsicles, one wrapper=1 popsicle. If you want a half of a popsicle buy those stupid tiny pops in their own little wrapper. Then eat 2 of them like you are supposed to.

  142. The reason there are two sticks is so you can double fist your frozen treat the same way you would double fist beer or wine. How many popsicles it’s supposed to be is completely irrelevant. You eat them at the same time, one in each hand. (Another way to figure it out would be to check the serving size on the nutrition label, but I suspect one serving is the entire damn double-sticked delight.)

  144. In clinical last semester, my nurse told me it was okay to give an NPO patient on an NG-tube half a popsicle as a comfort measure for dry mouth (so long as we subtracted it from the drainage), so we gave the patient one half of one of these popsicles. She was a crazy smart lady and an amazing nurse, so this is one popsicle. PROBLEM SOLVED

  145. It’s two popsicles. You can say it’s one popsicle if you get two hot women to eat it at the same time and post pics. Just, you know, for science.

  148. We were not well off growing up and there were five kids, so my Mom insisted that was two of whatever they are. So of course that’s ingrained in me now.

    I got so fed up that I started using a table knife to separate them with a stab and a twist. I even did that before opening the package to keep any cold (I’m NOT going to say “tasty”) bits from escaping.

    But the worst part was when they got a little too warm in the hot trunk on the way home and were put in the freezer before you got to eat them. That sticky, gooey layer was worse than superglue, but you still had to eat the thing even if there was still some wrapper stuck to it.

  149. Clearly, it’s one popsicle because when it’s frozen solid it’s impossible to break cleanly, and you have to eat it for a while before you can finally snap it in half and have a half-popsicle in each hand.

    Of course, I always preferred fudgicles because I’m just that way, but STILL.

    And really, what is up with that cat?

  150. It’s clearly ONE Popsicle. Why? Because if you were to share it you wouldn’t say “would you like one of my Popsicles?” You’d say, “would you like to split this with me?” The word “split” implies you are dividing up one unit of something. Duh.

  151. From one Jenny to another, darling, you are fabulous! Don’t let the assholes get you down. Shit stinks so we know to step around it.

  152. I agree that the impossibility of sharing one of these with any fairness proves that it is one popsicle. Every attempt at making it into two popsicles for two children lead to hurt feelings, as I remember it.

  153. It is two Popsicles but one serving size.

    Because I’m contrary like that. 🙂

    But actually, weren’t they originally called twin pops and intended to be shared? Hence the two sticks. But they don’t split easily, and I was never much for sharing. -_-

  155. Why isn’t there an option on the pol for ‘one popsicle that you can have twice the fun with’?

  156. It’s clearly one popsicle. That being said, it MUST be broken in half before consuming. As early as I can remember I’ve always felt there is something very wrong with a person that eats a popsicle in it’s unbroken, singular form.

  158. It’s not two popsicles. That’s like calling a sandwich a two-breader. Two sticks, one wrapper. And they don’t count when the temp is Texas August.

  163. It’s two popsicles for two kids, and one popsicle for one adult. Because grown ups have bigger mouths. Can you picture breaking it in half and leaving half in the freezer? No, so it’s clearly one popsicle. Plus, I just said half, so clearly it is ONE. 🙂 It only doesn’t work properly when you have an odd number of children eating them.

  164. How silly it has to be a popsicle , it states clearly on the vox and the serving size… If it was two it would be called a popsicles as in multiple , and well that’s just wrong.

  165. It’s one popsicle that you can break into two pieces. Like a Kit-Kat Bar is one candy bar you can break into four pieces. You aren’t required to have 3 friends around to share them with. It’s not like a Reese Peanut Butter cup that comes with two separate cups. Besides, who would break that in half and PUT THE OTHER HALF AWAY?! Jesus, Victor.

  167. There is nothing wrong with eating 8 popsicles in a row, or 4, on a hot day. Especially if they are the juice and ice kind because we all know that their few calories live in that matrix you so kindly refer to.

    x

  168. One! If it were TWO popsicles, someone would have found a way to make them easier to break apart. Breaking them apart usually ends up uneven, and if you are really unlucky – a chunk on the floor.

  169. I voted the cat one but that is clearly one popsicle. Am I two men because I have two legs? NO! SCIENCE HAS SPOKEN!!1

    srsly that cat tho _

  171. That is called a twin popsicle and it is meant for sharing between two people. Therefore, it is fact two popsicles, just conjoined like a circus freak, er, I meant “Irregular American”. Science y’all.

  172. I can’t take the poll because I think it is both. It is one popsicle and it is two. You are both right.

    This is the Way of the Popsicle. And their way is both deep and delicious.

  173. I voted before I read your commentary to avoid any possible bias, and we are both totally correct. And, WTF is up with the cat?

  174. One popsicle, but if you split it, becomes two popsicles, not two half-popsicles. It’s magic!

    Now my question, if you take one piece of candy out of a bag of M&M’s is it an “m” or an “m&m”?

  176. I voted for one because, in my experience, when you try to split that item in two, they never come out evenly. That’s just an argument about how unfair life is waiting to happen.

  178. I honestly don’t know if it’s one or two popsicles, because I’m not an expert at popsicle-y things, but I can tell you that whenever I eat one of these double-headers, I always break it into two and take them on one at a time.

  180. Wait, no, there is no appropriate answer for me:
    “It’s clearly two popsicles. The two sticks are there because you’re supposed to break it in half and double fist it“

  181. If it makes you feel any better, my meds were making me feel really bad on Saturday and it was hot, and the only solid food I ate all day was popsicles.

  182. By having two sticks and a thinner point in the middle, you are given a choice. It can be one popsicle, or it can be two (but you have to break it in the packaging because otherwise, mess). Generally, in my life, I treat it as one popsicle. But for those who prefer smaller servings, it can be two. But the two are never the same size because it doesn’t break cleanly. So generally, just one. I know I’m just ranting now, but we don’t have popsicles like this anymore (here, at least), and I’m feeling nostalgic.

  183. When I was kid, if I ever got sick, that was pretty much the only time I was allowed to eat popsicles. My mum would break them in half :(, but if my dad was handing them out, I got the whole, unsevered popsicle. I think my mum was being frugal and thrifty. My dad was just lazy and wanted to shut me up so he could go back to listening to records or something. In all honesty, my dad was the best babysitter. He would sleep on the sofa while we created chaos around him. Undiagnosed thryroid conditions are an amazing thing. He could sleep through a thermonuclear detonation ie: we could wreak havoc and create chaos from order and nobody needed to worry about waking up the sleeping bear in the other room.

  184. The unattainable 1 popsicle. My answer is clearly influenced by my big family upbringing. “May I have a WHOLE popsicle, please?” “No, you have to split it.” (Insert whacking noise of popsicle on edge of kitchen counter to split it.)

  185. I’m surprised more people haven’t mentioned that it is practically impossible to break it into two pieces that look anything like popsicles themselves. Growing up, we rarely had these kind of 2-stick popsicles, so I haven’t thought about it til now. I do say that it’s one, though, because of the single wrapper.
    I never thought about breaking it while it’s still in the wrapper – genius! And now I want some, though I’m in the mood for puddingsicles. The kind that are both vanilla and chocolate mottled together, like how co-jack cheese is.
    Now I want cheese, too.
    I haven’t been eating much lately, and this has brought my appetite back. Thank you for a food-based post, Jenny!

  187. Of course it’s one popsicle. How else can you do a walrus impression when you’ve finished?

  188. It’s like medication, there’s an adult dose and a child dose and the child dose is half the adult dose. What is being shown is clearly one adult dose (do not exceed more than 10 doses in a 24-hour period) or two doses for children under 12.

  189. My mom was a twinpop for Halloween or something when I was a kid, so it’s clearly one popsicle. My mother is only one person and couldn’t have been two popsicles, nor do I believe in ripping apart tiny facsimiles of my mother and sharing them with friends.

  190. I had to vote other, because in my view, it is one Popsicle until it is broken into two, only then does it become two. But it has the potential for both.

  191. It is clearly intended to be one popsicle. Look at the box; the number inside will be the number of popsicles that you have if you count that at one.

  192. I say it’s one but my Mom always said it was two as she was breaking it to give the other half to my sister.

  193. It’s like the chocolate bar with bite-sized pieces. I refuse to share (popsicles, chocolate bars or husbands). You can’t make me.

  194. Hi Jenny! This isn’t about the popsicle so I hope that’s all right. There are like 189 comments on that so maybe this will be a refreshing change of pace for you! I hope you read this and not your robot (obviously you have to have a robot to keep up with all of this) because I wanted to tell you that I wrote a blog in your honor. Yes, I’m a fangirl. What can I say? Your book pulled me out of a major depression and I am forever in your debt!! If you wanna read the blog it’s at http://www.tessmallory.tumblr.com and features taxidermy pics I took just for you while in a restaurant in North Texas. No, no, don’t thank me. It’s the least I could do. : )

  195. Are conjoined twins one people or two? It is clearly two Popsicles who failed to achieve separation, but honestly aren’t they more happy that way.

  196. With 5 kids at home, it’s two. I can’t afford it to only be one.
    But, whenever you try and seperate the fuckers, the tops break off anyways, so maybe they’re protesting seperation, and that’s their final ‘fuck you!’?

    Popsicle philosophy.

    I’m screwed.

  197. It is a double popsicle, which is a single popsicle with twice the cooling goodness. And no, chrome, popsicle is not a proper noun.

  198. Clearly it is ONE popsicle made for easy sharing if a person is fortunate enough to have a friend with whom to share. OR my preferred “fake out share”, in which I will break it in half and sort of hold it out like I’m going to offer one …and then lick them both before asking if my friend wants half my popsicle.

  199. I count it as one because they never break perfectly in half anyway and they’re the same size as ones I buy with single stick.

  200. You can end this debate with one simple question:

    How many wrappers did it come in?

    ‘Nuf said.

  201. I say it’s one popsicle because it came in one wrapper. It’s like the frozen version of Kit-Kats. A Kit-Kat isn’t TWO candy bars, it’s one you can break in half if you want to.

  202. It’s one popsicle that my mother insisted we share even though I hate popsicles forcing me to hold one half of the popsicle as it dripped all over me while my brother snarfed his half so he could then eat mine. But as bad as popsicles were, at least they weren’t Otter Pops (shudder, shudder)

  203. It’s one popsicle, specially made for crafty people — since you need lots of popsicle sticks to build something cool later. The arts community says thank you.

    Now I want a popsicle. And a bunch of sticks to build something cool.

  204. It is one popsicle. However, I will allege that the extra stick does not add stability, as you theorized, but instead adds a stress point in the middle. The shoddy structural engineering only leads to a gloppy, sticky mess on my shirt when the popsicle inevitably breaks apart part way through consumption.

  205. More importantly, do you count them “ONE tasty popsicle, ah-ah-ah; TWO tasty popsicles, ah-ah-ah” in your best Count impression? If not, you’re clearly missing a very important step to multi-popsicle eating…

  206. Actually, the two sticks are not for stability but depends on if you are left- handed you sue the left stick or right-handed use the right stick.

  209. I had no idea that some people try to split those until I watched Mad Men. I won’t share popsicles or a Coke. That’s how I know they don’t make commercials for people like me.

  211. Your second poll option is worded improperly. I fixeded it:

    “It’s clearly two popsicles. The two sticks are there because you’re supposed to break it in half and eat them both.”

  212. I cannot believe on 3% of your readers don’t know that there is no popsicle. Also, that’ is a tough word to spell.

  213. In the picture provided, it is unmistakably one popsicle with two sticks (and a hilarious cat in the background). If (and only if) you break it in half does it become two popsicles. Please know I pray for you!! 🙂

  214. If you ask me I think the cat would put the popsickle to a test and a delcious one too!When the thing melts and turns to a cool liqid ,the cat and I would share a cold drink on that hot day.Has anyone asked a cat permission to use the ladies or mens room? I have ,and won so I picked up the 15 pound blob of picking up a slippery hairy sweet faced cat. He did however posess that throne of his. .King Cat Tiger?

  216. Ok so the popsicle- it is only one popsicle but since there are 2 sticks when you break it in half (who the fuck would ever share one) you feel like you are eating something smaller so having the “second” half doesn’t make you feel like a pig!

  218. That is one popsicle, divided in 2. Much like burger & hotdog buns, it comes in two parts as a convenience, but it’s one thing.

  219. It’s just one popsicle. I even showed it to my husband and asked if that was a picture of one popsicle or two, and he said, “In that state, it is of one popsicle. If you break it with the intent of sharing, it becomes two popsicles, but I always feel like you only get half of a popsicle.”

  220. Clearly it’s one popsicle that you can break in half to make it easier to deal with, and to make it easier to share with someone who got a better flavour than you did.

    Just because something can be broken in half doesn’t make it two things. Right? For example, if you were to cut a sandwich in half, you would have two halves that looked identical, but you don’t suddenly have two sandwiches… (The same goes for ripping a person in half lengthwise, but I get the feeling that that example is less socially acceptable.)

  221. i checked the ones in my freezer and the front of the box says 12 pops and there are 12 inside. More importantly, the Federally mandated nutritional information says 1 serving, 12 in box so if it was 2 they are facing serious charges. I sincerely hope this helps your cause, because it also basically says “here is half your daily recommended intake of sugars with absolutely zero nutritional value added”. I was so depressed I ate one. Or two. Depending on how you look at it.

  223. Pants have 2 legs but they’re just one. Same with scissors. So I guess you could call it a pair of popsicles, but you need to have both halves to make it a thing so really it’s one. Do they still make rootbeer popsicles? I would eat 8 of those.

  224. When the children are clamboring for popsicles, it’s clearly two. Those grubby urchins with the sticky fingers need to share with their little friends! Because otherwise the box runs out before the adults get there and it clearly becomes just one.

  225. If the people I work with consider one half of a bagel or one half of an english muffin to be a meal, that pushes me to see a twin pop as two popsicles (though having a younger brother and the premise of ‘sharing’ forced at an early age helps).

    Also sorry, but that isn’t banana right? Perhaps mango or pineapple? A banana popsicle is kinda scary (and I’d hate to run into one on accident (weird allergies make life interesting I guess)).

  227. You have two legs, but you are only one person, amirite? So it is with Popsicles. Trust me ^_^

  229. I have a more important question. Why are the banana Popsicles (icky) always bundled with the root beer Popsicles (awesome)? Why?

  230. I don’t eat popsicles unless there is some sort of drip guard or a paper towel or SOMETHING to prevent it from running all down my hands and arms as it melts because OMG that is gross and then it gets sticky and then I remember freaking out about it when I was a kid and then that brings back all sorts of other childhood memories, mostly bad, so DAMN YOU for posting this picture of popsicles.

    Just kidding. Mostly. I really don’t like the sticky mess. Anyway…

  231. I think the question we should all be asking is what flavor is that yellow popsicle(s)? Banana? Pineapple? Lemonade? Piña-colada?

  232. its one popsicle with the friendly option to be two if you (the popsicle wielder) choose to share it.

  233. Here’s the thing: it’s one popsicle, but it’s meant to be broken in half. No way anyone can eat it in one piece without it falling apart into a sticky, disgusting, drippy mess.

  235. I asked my boyfriend his thoughts, and he says if you are younger than 10, it’s two popsicles, because you have to learn to share. If you’re older than 10, it’s one popsicle, because sharing is for suckers.

  236. The Popsicle is just a red herring. I suspect it’s just an attempt to throw everyone off and sneak in subliminal cat messages.

  237. I needed an “It’s clearly two popsicles. The two sticks are there because you’re supposed to break it in half and eat each half separately” option in the poll… so I went with the cat 😉

  239. One of the worst parts of childhood, was mum saying, do you girls want a popsicle, then SPLITTING one with me and my sister.. absolutely crap. Also, where on earth did rootbeer popsicles go 🙁 I loved those.

  240. Has Victor ever even split one in half evenly? Of course not, because it’s impossible, and it’s impossible because it is one Popsicle. I rest my case.

  241. I actually think it is both – If you’re running low on popsicle, you set the middle of the popsicle on the counter (in the bag) and hit it to break it apart.

  242. Erm… I also apparently need an ‘edit reply’ button in order to make my response make sense. “It’s clearly one popsicle. The two sticks are there…” you get the idea. I’m going to go consume copious amounts of caffeine now 😉

  243. As a consultant I must answer “It depends.” It is both one popsicle and two popsicles. If you want the whole thing it is one popsicle. In that case the two sticks are there for stability. If you want to share it is two posicles.

  246. I was brought up in a working class household and was force-fed the lie that that is TWO popsicles. I now know better. My parents probably burned my Hogwarts letter too, and split up the Tardis for firewood.

  247. It is clearly two popsicles, you are supposed to break it in half, but NOT to share. Just for your own fun.

  249. Those are guilt popsicles – they have one wrapper so that you must unwrap the whole popsicle, thus setting off the popsicle timer. Then they have two sticks to make you feel vaguely guilty about eating the entire (one serving of popsicle) and not sharing.

  250. These Popsicles were created for people who love options. As it is, it is one fantastic Popsicle. But if you had one Popsicle left and wanted to share it OR you were not certain if you would enjoy the last popscicle before or after your neighborhood walk, you would be empowered to use a snapping technique to make decision making unnecessary. It come in one bag so it is one popscicle until it is broken. We cannot call something a thing we believe it has the potential to be. we call it what it is. End of story.

  251. If you’ve ever tried to break one of those in half (to share?! ha!), you’d know it was only one Popsicle! They don’t split down the middle (in my experience during those times someone forced me to share my only Popsicle!).

  252. I chose “other” because I think it’s two popsicles, but only one serving. It’s like a pack of swiss cake rolls. There’s two in there, but they’re both for me. And four servings of popsicle on a hot day is totally reasonable.

  253. Of course it’s one popsicle. Have you ever tried to break it in half to share? The whole damn thing comes away with just one stick!!

  254. It is 3 popsicles (or frozen ice treats): Lefty, Righty, and the third being which is the conjunction of the two (call it Lefty-Righty, or Righty-Lefty, or just call it Lenny).

  255. One popsicle.
    Two servings.
    Cat contemplating a Sneak Attack on other cat.

  257. Tis one Popsicle, like the giant paper towel on my kitchen counter. The man doesn’t get to tell me when and where to tear. Perforations are for sheep. Sheep!

  258. Okay so I answered “It’s clearly two popsicles. The two sticks are there because you’re supposed to break it in half and share it.” But what I really want is an option that says, “It’s clearly two popsicles but don’t expect me to break it in half and share, these are both mine, get your own.”

  259. As it exists, it is one Popsicle. Compare it to a pie: before you cut it, it is one pie. If you divide the pie into segments and take one (or all because, dammit, I love pie), you now have several pieces of pie…not more pies. If you had more pies from dividing a pie that would be some Jesus-loaves-and-fishes-type-magical-multiplication-trickery. It is the same with the Popsicle. Splitting it in two would give you two Popsicle pieces, not two Popsicles. The sticks are merely utensils in which to eat the Popsicle and its pieces—like using two forks to eat a pie.

  261. So here’s the thing:

    It’s totally one popsicle on two sticks.

    It’s also clearly two popsicles once you’ve broken it in half.

  262. Before you open the box, how many popsicles does it say are contained within? Count the wrapped packets. If the numbers match that’s one popsicle per packet. If it doesn’t, the packaging was put together by the same joker who thinks a 1/2 cup of ice cream is a serving.

  263. as a kid, I was only allowed one side and was required to either (A) put the other half away for later OR (B) share the other side with someone…

  264. From the Popsicle website:
    “The Twin Popsicle® ice pop was invented during The Great Depression, so two children could share an ice pop for just a nickel.”

    This statement implies that it is one Popsicle that can be split in two.

  265. What victor clearly doesn’t understand is that popsicles are not based on the number of sticks (one assumes that’s what he thinks) … it’s based on number of trips to the freezer. Given that popsicles can only be eaten one at a time, per person… the number of trips indicates the number of popsicles. this is one trip, and therefore one popsicle. Also it comes in one bag – not 2 … so 1 popsicle. if that thing had 9 sticks it would be an abomination, but it would still be one popsicle.

  267. It’s two popsicles only if you have square-edged countertops in your kitchen AND someone else there who wants the same flavor. Then you can break it cleanly while it is still in the wrapper by putting the middle along the counter edge and pressing gently on both sides.

    If you have rounded-edge countertops, or no one else present who wants the same flavor you want, then it is one popsicle.

  269. I voted for one, but only because now I’m a grown woman who does not have to share “nicely” with siblings. All through out my childhood that was 2 popsicles.

  270. I posed this conundrum to my husband and his reply was ‘it’s one Popsicle, dressed up as two’z
    Existential crisis occur in the junk food industry as well.

  271. It is clearly one popsicle- it comes in one wrapper, after all- that they have added two sticks to in case you are feeling generous and want to share.

  272. I would get these popsicles as a child from our local Dillion’s store in Kansas. The box always called them “twin pops”. This name poses a different conundrum; are they conjoined or identical twin pops…

  273. It is ONE “Twin-pop”
    Which is TWO popsicles.

    My parents MADE us share them. Didn’t want the same flavor as your sibling? Tough toodles, boodles.

  274. I didn’t read the replies, but it seems to me that it is ONE popsicle. Just because a chocolate bar, ONE chocolate bar, is shaped into eight attached squares doesn’t make it EIGHT candy bars. And even Mounds and Almond Joys are ONE candy bar even though there are TWO in the package. It is SO like a MAN to question this! Sheesh!

    And now I am reading some replies: I like Beebe #259. I also like that your comments are numbered. And Dawn #221. And Natalia #165, but I so swear that I didn’t copy her.

  275. It is kind of like how graham crackers have those lines where you can break them if you want. It is still one Popsicle but the two sticks are there just in case you want to share….

  276. Also if you eat enough to free one stick you can use it to stab anyone who tries to steal the rest of your Popsicle. May require some sharpening though. (Autocorrect insists that Popsicle must be capitalized.)

  277. It is clearly ONE popsicle, but your parents claim that it is TWO popsicles, and make you break it in half and share it with your brother because they are too cheap to buy more popsicles.

  278. I think it would be one popsicle if the stick was in the middle. But it seems they put two sticks just to confuse you. If it is two, what if you don’t have someone to share it with? It’s not likely you’ll put the one half back. It must be one. I’m confused now.

  279. I don’t know how close you are to a TJ Maxx, but all summer long they sell things for you to make your own popsicles and we have a set that makes them in the shape of rocket ships. How much fun is that?!

  280. I’m going with one Popsicle because it seems presumptuous to me for the manufacturer to assume that I have someone standing right next to me asking to eat the other half – way to make all the single ladies feel depressed about themselves.

  281. It’s a trick question. It is both one popsicle, and two popsicles. If someone asked for a popsicle you wouldn’t unwrap one from the freezer and break it in half. But, if you are eating only half, you still have a popsicle. Popsicle is like the word “tile” in that it can be both singular and plural. Now I want a popsicle, or two, or four.

  283. Ahahhaha!!!! I can’t stop reading, YOU ARE AWESOME, thank you for making me laugh repeatedly, I really needed it.

  284. To answer the two stick Popsicle question, are conjoined twins one baby or two? (After all, just like the Popsicle they come in the same wrapper)

  285. It is all much worse than you might think. These popsicle(s) are/is designed with scarring innocent child minds forever as their/its main purpose. It’s all evident, really.
    Every child will recognise the contraption as one popsicle. This matches the structural integrity of the whole item PLUS the total size of it, no bigger than a standard popsicle. At the same time, the duogrip (TM) clearly suggest sharing would be a good idea. Sharing will, however, never happen. Sharing is not an option for most children within 10 feet of any popsicle. Therefore, the popsicle is eaten (as one!) by the child, but it WILL feel very guilty.
    If the sense of guilt of the child in case is still underdeveloped, there will always be adults nearby remembering the child of its failure to share.

    All in all. These/this are/is an evil child-traumatising invention!

  286. Have you ever tried to split one of those 2-stick Popsicles? It never goes well. If that’s the intent, it’s a terrible design. Also, what flavor is that? Mango or something? It looks awesome

  287. I have always believed it is one popsicle with the option to break in half and share should you choose to do so.

  290. It’s kismet! I was just telling my husband that my mom would only purchase those the split between my brother and I. It just seems wrong to have a whole “one”.

  291. The backpack? looks so much less like a dragon and so much MORE LIKE THE GUY FROM ALIEN!!! On my back! creeeeepppy!

  292. You left an answer out: It’s one popsicle if it’s mine, and it was 2 if it was my younger brother’s so he had to share with me.

  293. Clearly that is a PAIR of popsicles, and like a pair of pants, not to be shared, get your own.

  294. This is my first visit here. For shizzle. What can I say? I’m a luddite.

    Did you Photoshop the cat’s eyes to match the hue of the Popsicle? Or vice versa? Pretty clever. It’d one.

  295. Have you ever tried to pull the two popsicles apart? Me, I have. And it was a FAILURE. NOT meant to share as two, not at all.

  299. What does the box say? Pretty sure the creators of said popsicles advertise that as one treat, not two.

  302. When I was about to go from the day program to the overnight suicide-watch part of the psychiatric hospital, another patient walked me down the hall to peer into the safety-glass little window. “Oh, they’re so nice in there, you will like it. They have popsicles and will give you any flavor you want!” I will never, ever forget her kindness. Truly.

  303. Yes, they are two. They were invented in the Great Depression. They were sold for a nickel and were meant to appeal to people because you were buying 2 for 1. But fuck, cause you CANNOT break that shit cleanly. I don’t even care if you could, I’m eating it for myself. (And yes, you can say you just ate four.)

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