I’m not talking ’bout the weather.

Conversation I had with Victor when he heard me singing along to Dan Seal’s  “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight“:

Victor: Seriously?  If there was a competition for fucking up lyrics we’d have to build another house to store all your trophies.

me:  I’m pretty sure that’s how the song goes.  “I’m not talking ’bout the weather. And I don’t want to change your mind.  But there’s a warm wind blowing the stars around.  And I’d really love to see you tonight.”

Victor:  No.  It’s “I’m not talking ’bout moving in.  And I don’t want to change your life.”  He’s talking about having a one-night-stand, not about the weather.

me:  He’s obviously talking about the weather.  He just predicted extreme winds capable of blowing stars around.  That’s head-for-your-cellar kind of weather.

Victor:  No.  He’s implying that the stars of fate are being realigned for just that night.

me:  So he’s just a dirty liar.

Victor:  I guess.

me:  Huh.  Well, I wouldn’t trust that guy to tell me about the weather.

Victor: HE’S NOT TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER.

me:  I KNOW, VICTOR.  THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS JUST SINGING.

Victor: I give up.

**************

And now, time for the weekly wrap-up:

shit i did


Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Good Egg Candles, which are incredibly gorgeous.  From the artist: “I make candles out of eggshells. I paint, carve, and fill the eggshells. I color and scent the wax. I do all the work by hand, and all the painting is done freehand.” Refill kits let you re-use the candles forever so they can become treasured heirlooms.   These are my favorites.  You should check them out here.

222 replies. read them below or add one

  1. First, I can’t believe Victor still argues with you about anything. He is obviously a glutton. Second, all songs are open to interpretation to fit into a specific situation. Plus, I am not sure you can trust any meteorologist.

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    Stephanie@themadchatters.com recently posted Saved by the “Selfie” Generation?.

  2. My husband could give you a run for your money on those trophies…Nightranger…don’t tell me you love me has become just tell me you love me…I don’t even know which one is right anymore

    Like

    Michelle recently posted You Can’t Go From Black To Platinum.

  3. Victor is probably one of those people that doesn’t think he’s saying ‘like a douche in the night’… Those lyrics puzzle me, I’m not sure how a douche in the cover of darkness is, but I am assume it’s super douche-y.

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    grace recently posted More Waiting.

  4. You guys crack me up!!

    Like

  5. I always thought it was “I’m not talking ’bout millennium”. Which doesn’t any sense, but neither does the wind blowing stars around, so it seemed reasonable.

    Like

    Laura recently posted Zombie Unicorns, and Why I Hate Them.

  6. …hit enter too soon…

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted Why Match.com obviously hated my guts.

  7. The first set of lyrics are the ones that stay in your head no matter how silly. Think pretty much every song performed by the Bee Gees!

    Like

  8. I’ve been singing “I’m not talking ’bout the LINEN,” for years now. I realize it makes little sense, but for some reason it always worked in my head.

    Like

  9. Found some really shitty news last night. Thanks for making me smile through the tears.

    Like

  10. 10
    DarkDisneyPrincess

    In the movie “The Long Kiss Goodnight,” Samuel L. Jackson sings, “I’m not talking about the linen.” Then he and Geena Davis have a similar discussion to yours & Victor’s.

    Like

  11. I always thought he was saying, “I’m not talking about meridian,” which made no sense at all… Now that I’ve listened to it as an adult, he’s really just a sleazy douchebag.

    Like

    1. England Dan has a last name? 2. FWIW, I always heard ‘moving in’ as ‘millennia,’ which makes even less sense. I still hear an L sound in there.

    Like

  12. When I was a kid I thought he was singing “I’m not talking about the Lily Fields”, I still sing that way to DATE!!

    Like

  13. Laura, I always thought that it was “I’m not talking ’bout millennium,” too! Like, I’m not expecting this to last thousands of years, which makes perfect sense.

    Like

  14. I remember that song! England Dan (and John Ford Coley).- saw them in concert during my college days. (Wow, I’m really dating myself….)

    Like

  15. Victor is obviously not a writer….I actually like your lyrics better so who cares what the real ones are? I love making stuff up all the time and come up with some of the most amazing ideas that way. Good for you….and hahaha that more people on your poll don’t even know who Dan Seals is to begin with….

    Like

  16. Oh no worries. I’m famous for hearing words in songs that no one even knows. Like “bathysphere.” And instead of “Catherine wheel,” I heard “cantilevered.” And one of my friends thought that in Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” he was singing “the chairman’s not my son.” You’re not alone here!

    Like

  17. He’s not talking about realigning the stars of fate, either, so Victor is clearly wrong here. The line is “There’s a warm wind blowing/ The stars are out and I’d really love to see you tonight.”

    Like

  18. My friends used to mock me for how horribly I messed up lyrics as a kid. Now I mostly jut mouth them when others are around. If you can’t hear me, you can’t correct me!

    Like

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  19. Obviously I agree with you. He’s not talking about the weather. For the longest time, I sang Duran Duran’s Girls on Film song as “Girls aren’t firm. A can of tomatoes. Girls aren’t firm.” I think I like my version better.

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  20. the goat (Ibex) impersonation visual makes me laugh sooooo hard

    Like

  21. Thank you Laura! I thought he wasn’t talking about millennium too! I just assumed he meant he didn’t need a thousand year commitment before he had sex which means that besides being a horrible meteorologist he would also be horrible at making money selling cell phones.

    Like

  22. He’s also not talking about the linen. (See “The Long Kiss Goodnight” for clarification. You are not the first to have an argument over those lyrics.)

    Like

  23. 24
    Katiedidwhat

    I thought they were, “I’m not talking ’bout believing, and I don’t want to change your mind.” I thought he was trying to convince her he wasn’t trying to convert her to whatever his weird religion was.

    Like

  24. Your lyrics are my lyrics… I always thought he wasn’t talking about the weather because he was serious. None of this talking about the weather shit they were getting down to serious matters…

    Like

  25. Can we also have a button for “I’m siding with Victor to pay you back for getting that song stuck in my head”?

    Like

  26. I almost caused some one to wreck a mini van when they heard my version os silent night, i still hold that ” round young virgin ” is a perfectly resonable thing to think they are saying.

    Like

  27. If anything, it’s almost always the artist’s fault for not using proper enunciation. That’s where my vote would go.

    Like

    mikeguillenblog recently posted Lessons Learned from My (Platonic) Girlfriends.

  28. I always thought he said/sang “and the stars are out’ Sorta like ooh starlight and warm nights babe…

    Like

  29. I still think the lyrics are “brush my teeth before you leave me”
    And my dad insisted there was a bathroom on the right, not a bad moon on the rise

    Like

  30. 31
    1stepcloser

    I actually had to look up the lyrics, because I was thinking I sing your lyrics too. unfortunately victor was right…DAMN U VICTOR!

    Like

  31. I heard it exactly as you sang it, too. I used to wonder about the wind blowing the stars around.

    Like

  32. Holy cow this blew my mind. I seriously always thought he said weather.

    Like

  33. I just think he needs to accept that you are a professional, and you are right.

    Like

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  34. Clearly you need a choice for “millennium” – and I am glad to finally know I am not alone with that one. Like Hipkat it made sense to me. I figured the meter or rhyme on “forever” must have been wrong.

    Like

  35. I’m no help at all. I read Dan Seals as Steely Dan. So, I think I’ll take a nap now.

    Like

  36. I’m with you on this one, as long as you back me up on that Chumbawumba song, that I thought was about being poor “I’m on the dole…” instead of “I get knocked down”, Although, with my luck it wasn’t even I get knocked down, and it’s some option C, and I’m being the BIGGEST asshole right now.

    For the record…wouldn’t be a first.

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  37. Huh. I always thought it was your lyrics too. That’s how I sang it on the rare occasion I heard it. So natch I voted in your favor, cause it can’t be wrong if we both heard it that way, right?

    Like

  38. 39
    PepperjackCandy

    I always thought that Jesus was born in jewelry. He also later promised to make us fish in cement if we’d follow him.*

    Also not only is the singer of “Blinded by the Light” wrapped up like a douche into the roller in the night, the adolescent punk is waving to his hat, as well.

    *The fishers of men one was my very first ever misheard lyric. I was maybe four at the time. My mom thought it highly amusing.

    Like

  39. 40
    Lauren Muzzi

    Victor just ruined that WHOLE song for me bc I sing the EXACT SAME LYRICS… My life has been a lie!

    Like

  40. My best misheard lyrics is Photograph by Ringo Starr. He sings..All I’ve got is a photograph and I realize you’re not coming back anymore. What I heard for years was..All I’ve got is a bowl of crap and I realize your not coming back anymore.

    I always thought…wouldn’t you be better off just having nothing? I mean if the choice was nothing or bowl of crap.

    Liked by 1 person

    Michelle recently posted You Can’t Go From Black To Platinum.

  41. Love it! I am ALWAYS screwing up the lyrics to songs, much to the chagrin of my family, friends, and students lol.

    Like

  42. 43
    PepperjackCandy

    Oh, and “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight,” is not about a one-night stand. It’s about a booty call.

    Like

  43. My best misheard lyric is “Click Click Boom” by Saliva. For the longest time, I wouldn’t sing the line “Push the envelop to the line” because I thought they were singing “Pussy love ’til the end of time.” Big difference. My brother was HORRIFIED when I shared it with him, he corrected me and now I belt out ALL the lyrics😀

    Like

  44. I had a roommate who thought the lyrics to the Police song Spirits in the Material World were “We are upstairs in the maternity ward…”. I still lose it thinking about her belting out that line.

    Like

  45. Well, since she put me down I’ve got owls puking in my head.

    Why would she put me down? Why?

    Like

  46. I always thought the line was “I’m not talking bout believing” which in retrospect makes absolutely no sense. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.🙂

    Like

  47. I like your lyrics much better than what they were supposed to be.

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  48. I’m pretty sure the lyrics are,”I’m not talking bout melinin. And I don’t wanna change your mind…”

    Like

  49. Also, I read one of your tshirts as “nothing hard liquor and a hamper won’t fix” and I was thinking about the various things a hamper would fix. Which is a longer list than you would, at first, think.

    Like

  50. I totally relate. I even wrote a post about it when my lyric nazi friend corrected my lyrics to She’s Like the Wind. http://www.cheeseblarg.com/2011/09/ken-lee.html

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    J Rose recently posted Clown Fish Sandwich.

  51. Damn, I always thought that he said “I’m not talking about the livin,’ and I don’t want to change your life.” Now that I think about it, what would he have been talking about with that kind of lyric?

    Like

  52. This is where A-Z Lyrics comes in. It’s like a God sent to settling arguments along with imdb

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  53. My god, the comments!! I’m sitting in a Starbucks by myself literally laughing til I’m crying, with people staring at me like I’m crazy.

    Like

  54. I propose this:

    I’m not talkin’ ’bout the weather.
    I’m not talkin’ ’bout movin’ in
    But a close win blows in my snozz-around
    And I really wanna see you again.

    I think a “Snozz-Around” was a fun piece of 1970s family fun game. You wanna win. You wanna win bad. But a close win really blows.

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  55. HAHAHA. This reminds me of the time when my friend thought 50 Cent was singing: “Hey, Charlotte, it’s your birthday…” instead of “Hey, Shorty…”

    That hasn’t stopped her from karaoke-ing loudly in public.

    Like

    janice recently posted My Mei.

    • (piece of? I think I was possessed when I typed that).

    Like

  56. 58
    Barbara in Swampeast

    I got to meet Dan Seals in real life! He was doing a small tour of colleges in 1984 or so, just him and friend on guitar. I held a flash backstage because the light was out over the stair well. I made sure he didn’t fall down the stairs and he thanked me for it.

    Like

  57. I’m not mature enough to check the weather report so I feel an immense pressure right now. I mean most days you just have to stick your head out the window, right? It’s quite scary for me that songwriters have that kind of power of invoking bad or good weather. All that metal I listened to in High school will soon come to haunt me some day.

    I mean it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if there was actually raining blood because hospitals need blood donors and there aren’t that many and it could seriosly save many lives. Of course, people have rain water containers around the house (it’s OK for plants I hear) and maybe some of them will actually sell the blood for profit.

    People are assholes.

    Victor needs to seriously learn to pick his fights. Or give up sooner.

    “Oh, but I still get my pleasure/ Still got my way to stretch her” instead of “Oh, but I still get my pleasure/Still get my greatest treasure” Queen, Fat Bottomed Girls. It makes for an awkward karaoke night but my bad singing takes over so it’s OK.

    Like

  58. OMG, those really aren’t the lyrics. I was with you, Jenny. Now, after a lot of Googling and YouTubing, I learned the truth.
    AND GAINED A MIGHTY EARWORM. THANKS, JENNY.

    Like

  59. If singers would properly enunciate words and sound technicians wouldn’t drown out the words with layers of effects, then people could understand what was being said. BUT, what fun would that be!

    Like

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  60. I always get that sort of thing when I try to convince people that the Bryan Adams song “Summer of 69” includes the lyrics “standin’ on your mama’s corpse”. I back you 100%.

    Like

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  61. 63
    Gus Pennepacker

    I’m pretty sure it’s “I’m not talkin’ ’bout molybdenum.” Bad a meteorology, worse at chemistry.

    Like

  62. That’s nothing. For years I had NO IDEA Lola was about a tranny.

    Like

  63. I always thought he said ” I’m not talkin’ bout the linen”.

    Like

  64. Victor deserves the ibex treatment for being so damn right all the time!

    Like

  65. I never could understand that line. The closest I ever got was, “I’m not talkin’ bout millennium,” which makes no sense unless Dan Seal is a big Star Wars fan. Also, I always heard, “There’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around,” but apparently it’s really “There’s a war wind blowin’, the stars are out.” I like my version better.

    Like

  66. *warm. My bad.

    Like

  67. I thought he wasn’t talkin’ ’bout THE LINEN. I don’t know.

    Like

  68. Did anyone already comment and mention that the line is “there’s a warm wind blowing and the stars are out”?

    Like

  69. I always thought the song “Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow” was “you babe, all that you know”. From the song “The Things We Do For Love”. “You think you’re going to break up then she says she wants to makeup.” I always thought it was “you think you’re going to break out, then she says she wants to make out”.

    Like

  70. I still think ZZ Top’s Slip Inside My Sleeping Bag is really better as Slip and Slide and Say I’m Bad.

    Like

  71. Aerosmith’s Dream On. I always heard “Sing Women, sing for the year….” and when I found out what it was I told my mom… and she was also shocked at this discovery.

    Like

  72. Victor really needs to pick his battles better.

    Oh and I feel sorry for that ibex stuck with some twat slapping it and pushing it around.

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    Kattie recently posted What have I done?.

  73. Just wanted to stop in and say thanks for the Twitter follow on my blog this weekend. I bragged about it to all 6 of my readers! I’m up to 9 followers now! I’m on my way to the TOP!!

    And I also wanted to whore myself out on your commentluv because I’m all beggy and desperate.

    But I do loveyoumeanit!

    Like

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  74. 76
    Steve Kimes

    I’m with Rick. I’ve always heard “I’m not talkin’ about my linen”, which I always thought he was NOT talking about a one night stand. Just hangin’ out. Catching a movie on the VCR. But my wife thought I was crazy. So we looked it up. So I was wrong. I don’t care. I still sing “linen”.

    Like

  75. 77
    GamerGirl79

    First of all, I love this song, and I didn’t know it was Dan Seals. Just knew him as England Dan. Second of all, I always thought it was “there’s a warm wind blowing and the stars are out” so it was a nice night to, you know, hook up. Third, misheard lyrics are called ‘mondegreens’ . Lady Mondegreen=laid him on the green. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen So you’re not alone!

    Like

  76. 78
    Doug in Oakland

    The technical term for these is mondegreens.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen

    Like

  77. And though it made no sense, I gamely sung along to Gett Off- “Like I was driving a pickup- balls. I’m enjoy. Let me show you baby, I’m a talented boy.” When the first part of that apparently is really “Like I was strippin’ a Peter Paul’s Almond Joy.”

    Like

  78. I always sang it as “I’m not talking ’bout meridians”. I never could figure out what longitude had to do with changing anybody’s mind, so I like your version better.

    Like

    Barcy recently posted Best Friends.

  79. England Dan and Dan Seals are the SAME person?!

    Like

  80. 82
    ellemichelle

    I’ve been singing it like you for all these years. My husband thinks I’m a dumbass for not knowing the right words. I had to google the lyrics and then listen to it on youtube just to hear “about the weather.” In our defense, they do mumble those lines. My husband is also a mumbler which kind of explains that he understood it correctly.

    Like

  81. And he’s Seals’ from Seals and Crofts brother?! I learn so much here.

    Like

  82. I used to think it was “I’m not talking about millennium” and because Star Wars was out when the song was popular, and I was five years old and a boy, this of course has always made me associate the song with the Millennium Falcon and Han Solo. But then again, I’m a dork.

    Like

  83. 85
    Jennifer Miller

    Movin’ in doesn’t even scan for christ’s sake.

    Like

  84. 86
    GamerGirl79

    Also, I just fell down a rabbit hole of 70s You Tube music videos. Thanks.

    Like

  85. Isn’t he saying “There’s a warm wind blowin’, the stars are out”? Just to add another layer of confusion.

    Like

  86. Marriage – and love in general – rules, right?

    Like

  87. 89
    Wonderbadger

    I always thought it was “I’m not talking about the linen”.

    Like

  88. My then teenage daughter broke it to me that the woman in Life in the Fast Lane is “terminally pretty” not ” terminally vain” and she holds him for ransom “in the heart of the cold, cold city”, not “cold, cold rain” I still like “terminally vain” It’s so poetic. Nick

    Like

  89. 91
    Trina Brooks

    My mess up is from Bette Davis’ Eyes. I thought it was “she’s got Greta Garbo’s inner thighs” but apparently it is “Greta Garbo stand aside”. I was under the impression it was an inventory of her body parts and how they resembled famous people.

    Like

  90. Victor learned it from Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight! http://youtu.be/1fSlwCI8Ro0 He totally didn’t know that by himself😉

    Like

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  91. 93
    PepperjackCandy

    Oh, and I finally remembered what I hear when I hear that line in “I Really Want to See You Tonight.” It’s “I’m not talkin’ ’bout the women.”

    Like

  92. You and Victor are both wrong. (Sorry.) He clearly is saying, “I’m not talking about the linen, and I don’t want to change your mind, but there’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out, and I’d really love to see you tonight.” I can’t hear that song any other way. They obviously had a serious falling out over whether and how to starch and/or iron sheets, but he’s trying to put it behind them and move on. WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE LINEN?

    Like

  93. Add me to the “I thought he was not talking about THE LINEN even though it makes no sense at all” group.. .

    Like

  94. Well.. I thought for years Aerosmith’s “dude looks like a lady” was, do it like a lady…

    Like

  95. I don’t understand. It’s “I’m not talking about the weather.” And worse, someone is messing with all the youtubes.

    Like

  96. 98
    @shthisisme

    Here’s one of mine. I thought he was singing “Roll the Weed ” instead of Roll to Me.

    Like

  97. WTH people. The point is that this is the best booty-call song ever written.

    Like

  98. I thought it was “I’m not talking ’bout the linen.” I never even questioned that lyric until this moment. I guess I thought Dan Seals cared deeply about his bedsheets.

    Like

  99. 101
    Dana Collins

    pretty sure it’s “the stars are out”!

    Like

  100. Lately, not many things make me laugh, but you do a good job. I had tears watching the goat.

    Like

  101. 103
    Sophiabrooks

    I am still stuck on England Dan and Dan Seals being the same person! But I always thought it was weather. Or perhaps forever.

    Like

  102. Weather?!? Moving in?!? You’re both wrong. It’s “I’m not talkin’ ’bout Meridian.” What Meridian has to do with anything, I have no idea. But there you go. You’re welcome.

    Like

  103. ACDC. I sing, Dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief. Many many years before I was corrected to Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap. Always wondered who the Thunder Chief was.

    Like

  104. Jenny… I’m with you on this one! I have always sung that song with YOUR exact lyrics!! My mind was blown, when I found out the truth. pouts I like our version better!! LOL

    Like

  105. Not kidding, that is EXACTLY what I thought he was singing too. Are you sure Victor know what he’s talking about?

    Like

  106. OK, having just had this song come up on my husband’s random playlist, he does say moving in. I thought it was weather too for some reason yet it sounds nothing like weather. Half the time it sounds like he says, “I’m not talking about the living” which could mean pretty much anything. Is he talking about being alive? How she lives her life, which he says he doesn’t want to change? How she earns money, like maybe she’s a prostitute? Maybe it’s his “living” that he’s not talking about because she doesn’t like how he lives his life? I don’t know. So many questions and so few answers…

    Like

  107. We had a local radio station that ran commercials highlighting the misheard lyrics of some of the songs they played. My favorite from Ticket to Ride by the Beatles: She’s got a chicken to ride and it’s in my hair.

    Like

  108. 110
    Elizabeth Melugin

    You didn’t give me a button for what I needed to vote for. There should have been a button for, “I never gave it a second thought, but now, thanks to you, it’s in my head for the next few days. Way to go buttholio.”

    Like

  109. Personalized song lyrics are always the best.

    Like

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  110. I am a firm believer in changing lyrics. You can quite often improve on them. Like Bruno Mars “I Think I Wanna Marry You”. I improved by singing:
    It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something fun to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you. Is it that look in your eye or is it these dancing shoes. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.
    Someone tried to tell me this was wrong. If it is, I don’t wanna be right😀

    Like

  111. HEY! John Ford Coley (as in England Dan and…) is my cousin! I met him once at a family reunion and embarrassed myself by asking for an autograph. Then I asked him to tell me some gossip on other musicians from his time and he politely declined. Then I felt so foolish that I avoided him for the rest of the day. Good times.

    Like

  112. first of all i love dan seals….
    “…..everything that glitters is not gold”
    and an early dispute in my marriage was when my husband insisted the soft cell song lyrics were
    “sex tool isn’t it nice….” i had to go into a tower records and ask the cashier. and i was validated it is “sex dwarf”

    Like

    jennifer niles recently posted YOLO= the fast life of a fruit fly.

  113. That reminds me of when I thought Phil Collins used to sing “she seems to have an invisible talk show”….although I’m not sure why it reminds me of my incorrect lyrics when you are clearly right about the bad meteorologist.

    Like

  114. I thought it was “I’m not talkin’ ’bout the linen…”

    Like

  115. that goat has the best bangs ever

    Like

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  116. Just focus on the fact that you both were able to agree on something, even if it is just the lack of weather talk.

    Like

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  117. I remember a terrifyingly hilarious bit on the old Carol Burnett show about that song – where the WIND was actually blowing the STARS around … laughing uproariously now… you and Victor are priceless…

    Like

  118. I am going to have to listen to the song again because your lyrics actually sound strangely comfortable to me. My son belts out what he thinks are the lyrics to songs all the time. He thinks the words in Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca” song are “Black cats, eating yogurt…”

    Like

  119. Wait. What are the lyrics to Dream On?

    Like

  120. On a side note, I’ve misheard that lyric as “the linens” my whole entire life. I was always so confused about why she would care if he talked about towels and sheets.

    Like

  121. As always, remember:
    1. When in doubt, Victor is right.
    2. There’s always some doubt.
    3. If there is no doubt, Victor is still right.

    Like

  122. My fiancé didn’t know what the Kinks song “Lola” was actually about. I think he wishes I hadn’t insisted on telling him.

    Like

  123. I think it’s ‘There’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out,” but I like your version better.

    But what I really want to know is, when you argue with Victor, do you just impersonate how the ibex sounds, or do you spit as well? I think I see where I went wrong when arguing with my ex . . .

    Like

  124. I’m quite sure it’s “I’m not talking ’bout millenium, and I don’t want to change your mind.” Kind of like saying we don’t have to be together forever. Just a while. Try singing that. It totally works.

    Like

  125. I always heard, “I’m not talking ’bout the rhythm. And I don’t want to change your mind.”

    Like

  126. When I was young, I thought the lyrics were “I’m not talkin’ ’bout the linen.” Don’t know why I thought that made sense.

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  127. 129
    Robin the mad photographer

    And you think your mondegreens are embarrassing…have a moment of silence for the young lady back in the early days of the Internet (c. 1994) who got on a chat w/Peter Gabriel and told him how she’d named her cat Frumpy after the line in “Games Without Frontiers”…you know, “she’s so frumpy, yeah”… (That’s what happens when you’ve got Kate Bush singing “jeux sans frontieres”, aka “games without frontiers” in French.) Peter was very sweet about the whole business, and it was obvious he was trying desperately not to make this poor girl feel like a complete idiot, but yeah…

    Oh, and here’s another vote for “I’m not talkin’ ’bout millennium” from someone who’s old enough to remember when the damn song first came out…but I think I like your version better, Jenny.

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  128. 130
    Robin the mad photographer

    On a totally different subject: are those beautifully taxidermied mice you linked to ethically taxidermied (i.e., died naturally and all that)? I can’t find anywhere on the site or on her Etsy page anything about this… (Oh, and for the record, I was NOT the poor girl who screwed up “Games Without Frontiers”; I just read the transcript of the chat shortly after the fact, and cringed in sympathy for her.)

    (I believe her mice are already-frozen feeder animals for snakes and lizards. The meat is eaten by her pet so it’s ethical in that nothing is wasted, but I don’t think they died of natural causes. Probably the same goes for the leather she uses in making their tiny clothes too. In that the cows didn’t die naturally, I mean. Not that the cows were frozen and fed to pet lizards. That probably goes without saying. Long story short, they fit the technically definition in that they were not killed for taxidermy but I’m pretty sure a strict vegan would pass on buying one. ~ Jenny)

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  129. thanks to you lot, i now have ‘lola’ in my head. not a bad thing, i’m just saying.
    just to add to the ridiculousness, my dad as a child thought that elvis’ ‘i’m all shook up’ was ‘a mulshoo cup’, which he thought was a kind of ice cream.

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  130. Haha JINX! I just wrote a post about fucking up lyrics – which is OBVIOUSLY Victor in your story. I literally only just learned the term for it; mondegreen… scientificky jargon for a mouth/ear/brain fail set to music. I think lyrics leave themselves open to interpretation…

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  131. Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

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  132. I’ll have to agree with Victor on this one, it’s one of my all time favourite songs from my teen years. Don’t mess with my England Dan and John Ford Coley. BTW, “Sloooow talking Walter, Fire engine guy.” (Smoke On The Water)

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  133. I heard it as “I’m not talking ’bout the linen, and I don’t want to change your life, but there’s a warm wind blowing the stars around.” Once I was old enough to actually interpret what that might mean, I fixed “around” to “are out” but “the linen” stuck… I figured he was trying to say, “It’s a beautiful, romantic night… let’s go out. It’s not a marriage proposal, but I’m not just trying to get you into bed either.”

    Which apparently, he was. I’ve spent too much of my life liking a song I should have hated on principle! Well, poop…

    Meh. I am going to intentionally mishear it from here on out. My version is better.

    Like

  134. i thought it was weather, too.

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  135. “I’m not talking ’bout meridian, and I don’t want to change your life. The dark winds blow and the stars are out, and I’m really gonna see you tonight.”
    Looks like I didn’t even have the title right. Thank god my radio now prints the title out for me.

    Like

  136. I always thought “Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls” was “Go, Go, Jason Waterfalls,” so don’t listen to my opinion on this …🙂.

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  137. 139
    Rachel CrazyMum

    I have no idea on the song lyrics, but I’ll just assume you’re right.

    As for the goat video: my 12 year old daughter woke us up at 6:40am to discuss the best time to have a shower and had a strop at us when we told her. I wish I’d done the goat impersonation at her. I will hold it in reserve and I’ll do it whenever any of the kids are arguing with me. I think it is a perfectly appropriate response.

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  138. I’m just glad you’re not including any food in this poll. Your polls always leave me hungry. And Jesus that song is as old as God. By the way, listening to Boston in the car once with my husband and he’s singing “All I want is it have my piece of pie!!!” I died. Pie? No, dumbass, it’s Peace of Mind.
    No it’s Pie.
    No, it’s MIND. Why did I marry him???

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  139. I always thought it was religion he wasn’t talking about, but weather makes a lot more sense, what with the stars blowing around and all. But moving in?…..nah.

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  140. By the way…it’s obvious Dan Seals is saying ‘I’m not talking about Bolivians’

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  141. Also, my uncle still talks about how when they were teenagers he heard my mom in her room singing Bad Moon Rising as “There’s a bathroom on the right”

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  142. I’m always mishearing lyrics:/

    Granted, in this case it’s not entirely my fault as Alanis Morisette does like to warble, but I heard “are you still mad that I gave you old tomatoes” when apparently it’s “are you still mad that I gave you ultimatums”. I was envisioning a being pelted with rotten vegetables type scenario. Disappointing.

    (Same song I heard “are you still mad I compared you to all our four year old male friends” – which makes total sense, as being compared to a four year old is pretty insulting. Apparently it’s forty year old though).

    And yes, “Don’t Go Jason Waterfalls”, always. I thought it was about a guy called Jason Waterfalls, and the “stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to” was a clever extended metaphor on his name.

    Like

  143. “I’m not talking about melanin.” Like, skin pigment. But molybdenum is a closer fit. I just didn’t know that word when I first heard the song.

    Like

  144. I’d love to mishear anything in Yellow Ledbetter.

    I think your blog is a social network all its own.

    Dan Seals: the first climate change denier.

    We are talking about the weather DAN. England DAN.

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  145. I thought it was “there’s a warm wind blowin’, the stars are out” which is kind of like a weather report I guess, but he’s just telling her it’s nice out and he wants to see her….KWIM????

    Like

  146. The book “Brain on Fire” is actually what helped get my co-workers daughter diagnosed. Finally. Unlike the author, Karen had this awful disease for YEARS. No doctor in all of that time nailed down a diagnosis. It was the scariest 3.5 years of Karen’s life. After finding that book, they brought it to a neurologist and had a diagnosis within weeks. It saved her life.

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  147. read through the helium post and I feel quite smarty pants now.

    Like

  148. 150
    Debs (Findawe)

    My husband thought the lyrics to Nickleback’s “How you remind me” included “Little Women must have damn near killed you”

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  149. One of our major quality newspapers in the UK, about 20 years ago, had a regular column of lyrics readers had misheard. These included “The girl with colitis goes by” (Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles), “Sealions on my shirt” (Three Lions by The Lightning Seeds) and “Sweet dreams are made of cheese” (Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics).

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  150. “I’m not talking ’bout moving in
    And I don’t want to change your life
    But there’s a warm wind blowing
    The stars are out and I’d really love to see you tonight”

    Pretty sure Victor is wrong about the lyrics too! The stars are not moving about. LOL

    Like

  151. Until this very moment I though it was “I’m not talking ’bout (the) Millennium”. No lie. WTF was I thinking? That they were huge Han Solo fans? (well, you know…who isn’t?)

    Like

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  152. This has already been said, but I can’t let it go. The line is ACTUALLY “there’s a warm wind blowing and the stars ARE OUT”.
    And damn you for getting that song in my head. Hello middle school :-p

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  153. Strangely, I also had the lyrics to this very song mixed up. When I was younger, I used to think they were saying ‘I’m not talking ’bout the linen; and I don’t want to change your mind.’ I don’t know what I’d do without google to tell me song lyrics these days! LMAO

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  154. Do you also blow spit on him and then make the Ibex sound? I’m just wondering because I think I should do the same to my sweet Babboo and need to know what is most impactful.

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  155. Linen. It will always be linen. And now I will attempt to extract that song from my head for the rest of the work day. Thanks.

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  156. I say it’s “hold me close young Tony Danza.” I need someone to back me up with my husband

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  157. You’d think by now, ol’Victor would know which battles to pick.

    Sometimes it’s just best to throw your hands up and go with, “Honey…you are so right!” even if you aren’t.

    Somebody tell my husband that, would’ja?

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  158. And the heart of rock and roll is Topeka

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  159. I swear on all that is holy, I always thought he was singing “I’m not talking ’bout MY LINEN! And in my pre-teen mind, it made sense because he was saying he didn’t expect her to do his wash! Of course, in my mid life mind, I know I was wrong. Who would do the wash if she didn’t??

    Like

  160. I’m just wondering if you have blue prints for the trophy house. I need to build one for my wife.

    Like

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  161. Where was that grocery bag when I lived in the city? Where, I ask? Your capacity to find weird shit is beautiful:). A true talent.

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  162. I love you guys. And I also love that Victor was wrong about the lyrics too. Life is suddenly a bit brighter.

    Like

  163. My favorite lyric thing is Katy Perry – Dark Horse
    I changed the lyrics into much better ones, and now all my friends sing-scream my lyrics over hers whenever we hear it!

    Katy Perry – Dark Horse, here is the first half of the chorus

    So you wanna play with magic
    Boy, you should know what you’re falling for
    Baby do you dare to do this?
    Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse

    But it is kind of weird, because “for” and “horse” are not really a great rhyme. And it is also weird in that they make “dark” a two syllable word, because it isn’t one.

    So what rhymes with “for” and has three syllables? Also, a dark horse is not very scary, so let’s amp that up too. You ready to improve the shit outta this song? …..

    So you wanna play with magic
    Boy, you should know what you’re falling for
    Baby do you dare to do this?
    Cause I’m coming at you like a DINOSAUR.

    Way freaking better!!

    Like

  164. My pharmacist picked a dead spider out of my hair…do I win?

    Like

  165. The one I constantly mess up, even though I KNOW the correct lyrics, is from “Brick House”: “She’s the one, the only one, built like a mastodon.”

    Like

  166. 168
    square eyes

    It’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll. ACDC

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  167. Blinded by the light/Revved up like a douche who has a boner in the night/BLINDED BY THE LIGHT!

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  168. I think that goat was the inspiration for both the Sand People and the big creature they ride on.

    Like

  169. Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

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  170. 172
    FleaBailey

    I always thought it was “I’m not talkin’ ’bout the linen”, meaning he didn’t want to get married and have a linen closet.

    I know, but I’m from the South, where we have linen showers pre-wedding.

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  171. It’s not our fault. The real problem is that singers don’t enunciate well enough.

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  172. I never understood the lyrics either. I thought they were “I’m not talkin’ ’bout millennium”. Which doesn’t make any sense either.

    Like

  173. Pfft .. Victor would argue Alanis Morissette isn’t talking about a cross-eyed bear too I’ll bet !!

    Like

  174. Wait. It’s not ” a warm wind blowing the stars around,” it’s “there’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out….”

    Like

  175. I feel like it should just be an automatic assumption that we all get the lyrics to songs wrong because singers don’t know how to enunciate and/or talk too fast. I always pretend to know the words to songs, and often make up my own on the spot because looking things up takes too long.
    On a side note, I mentioned this post to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the song (because I’m 21 with the memory of a goldfish) and he tried to yell at me (being 27 and knowing everything apparently) for not immediately recognizing it when he played the song for me. My boyfriend is a lot like Victor in that he has to argue with everything I say including nonsense, and then it just gets fun to make him mad.🙂

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  176. I am loving your polls. I feel so powerful when I can vote.😉

    I voted. I had to go with the second choice, but I am willing to wager that England Dan was a horrible meteorologist.

    Like

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  177. I don’t know how to contact you, but I feel like you will appreciate this-

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  178. So…yeah…I have never even heard of that song before, so I’m just going to assume you’re right.

    Like

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  179. This. Oh Fortuna misheard lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIwrgAnx6Q8

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  180. Now try and get that song out of your head. Go ahead. I fuckin’ dare ya.

    Like

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  181. Even after 16 years in radio as a disc jockey, I get an embarrassingly high number of lyrics wrong. However, my first mistaken lyric was before I got into radio – when I was in high school, I thought Heart was singing about pouring “Gravy on you!” It wasn’t until I actually saw the album in a store that I realized it was “Crazy For You.”

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  182. Image embed failure once again.

    NOW try and get that song out of your head!

    Like

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  183. I give up. There’s the damn image.

    All the funny has just been sucked out of the whole things.

    Fuck you, Monday.

    Like

    opticynicism recently posted Jackshit Monday, how to get jackshit done!.

  184. totally off topic, but this pic made me think of you http://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/steampunkguineapig.jpg

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  185. Now, before I listened to the video you linked, I would have swore that the lyric was “I’m not talking about forever.” I have no idea how I got that from “moving in”, but “forever” and “the weather” do sound a little bit alike. Maybe the lyrics were changed?

    Like

  186. I am still angry about being corrected re Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville. I have always sung “people say there’s a WATER to blame”, not woman. My husband almost wrecked the car in WTF-land. I still say it makes more sense – bad water would mess you up more than ANY woman!

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  187. 189
    Lucky Maria

    Holy crap, I always thought it was the ‘weather’. Movin’ in?? No way. Of course, my brother once said about me, “You know fewer words to more songs than anyone in the world.” And it’s kinda true, I can sing one or two lines from just about anything and then I just wing it.

    Like

  188. I’ve had this song stuck in my head now for 2 days!

    Like

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  189. Seriously, now people are not just talking about the weather, we’re singing about the weather too? Why? Have they run out of words for songs?

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  190. 192
    Cheryl in Wisconsin

    I was about 11 when I determined the lyrics to Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin. Let’s just say my version has nothing to do with Vikings, despite my young age at the time mine is more about partying all night.

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  191. I actually always heard “I’m not talking ’bout a wedding”–which in the context, kinda makes sense.

    Like

  192. I must admit, I started reading this, and when I read your lyrics, I was like, yeah–what’s the problem? Because that’s exactly what I thought they were, too. Moving in? I don’t think so.

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  193. For a good day, forget that song and go listen to Herb Alpert’s “This Guy’s In Love With You.”

    Like

  194. So you’re saying that it’s NOT “I’m not talkin’ ’bout my linen”???

    Like

  195. i thought it was “I’m not talking about the minute, and i don’t want to change your mind, there’s a warm wind blowing the bla-de-bla and i really wanna see you tonight”

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  196. I, uh, actually had the sheet music to this song (Lord knows why; I was quite peculiar back in the day), so I can say with authority that England Dan is not talking about movin’ in and he doesn’t want to change your life, but there’s a warm wind blowing the stars around and he’d really love to see you tonight.

    I swear I was almost 40 years old before I found out that the voice at the end of 10CC’s “I’m Not in Love” was saying “big boys don’t cry” and not “be poised and quiet.”

    Like

  197. 199
    Christine H

    OMG!! He totally sings “I’m not talking about the weather…” You have it correct. Victor is wrong. You can tell him I said that. Victor and my hubby are very similar, and often wrong.

    Like

  198. I thought he was not talking about the linen. Like, they wouldn’t be registering at Bed, Bath and Beyond. So, yeah. Keeping it casual.

    Like

  199. I had fucked up those lyrics for years … I was convinced it was: I’m not talking about oblivion,and I don’t want to make you mine.

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  200. Now you’re just messing with us – I gotta say I always thought it was “I’m not talking ’bout forever, and I don’t want to change your mind” and then the rest that you wrote. Unfortunately, Victor’s probably “technically” correct but I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to change the way I sing that song. Someone needs to relax – it’s just music – or lyrics, same difference. And it IS about a one-night stand. He’s right.

    Like

  201. I love this song.🙂

    Like

  202. Probably covered earlier in the comments — I’ve only got a couple hours to spend on this during the workday — but viewing the video makes it clear that the “movin’ in” in this song is one of the worst-scanning original lyrics I’m aware of.

    England Dan! I demand you rewrite your song! Otherwise no complaints when we think you’re talkin’ bout Namibia.

    Like

  203. You’re both wrong. “I’m not talking about forever, I don’t wanna change your life.”

    This is like a weird wormhole where everyone who hears that song comes up w/something slightly different. Gah.

    Like

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  204. I’m so glad that others heard it as “linen.” I always thought it was “I’m not talking ’bout new linens,” because everyone knows you buy new sheets and towels when you feel a committed relationship coming on, right?

    Like

  205. Based on the conversation so far, I’m assuming I can be forgiven for thinking “There’s a Bathroom on the Right” and “Do the Hotdog” were the correct lyrics to two other heretofore unmentioned songs?

    Like

  206. Yeah. I totally didn’t get the title of this post until I clicked the video and listened to the song. I seriously was like, “But that’s what he says!” And after watching the video, I’m still sure.

    Like

  207. 210
    Jennifer Dye

    I always thought the sing went “I’m not talking about the linen”. And I always thought it was a strange thing to say

    Like

  208. i think my most favorite ‘wrong lyrics’ were ‘Night moose’ – should be night moves

    Like

  209. Those are too the lyrics because that is the same way I sing it! I know because I got it on the TimeLife 70’s CD collection and it would not steer me wrong.

    NOBODY talks about “moving in”. You just leave a few socks around, forget 3 DVDs and shirt over there, buy some toilet paper and VOILA! You’re a resident!

    Pfft… “Moving in…” The nerve of Victor.

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  210. I always thought he was singing “I’m not talking about the linen”. I knew it couldn’t be right but I hear it that way every time.

    Like

  211. No joke – I heard the EXACT SAME THING you did. My whole life. I also spent a few years thinking the Red Hot Chili Peppers were singing about soap in “Give It Away”. I heard PALMOLIVE instead of BOB MARLEY. I am obviously not the best lyric-interpreter.

    Like

  212. I always thought it was talking about the weather too. Mind. Blown.

    Like

  213. Well thanks a whole helluvalot. I always thought it was I’m not talking about millennium, waaaay in advance of the next century.

    Like

  214. There are so many awesome misheard lyrics from that era… My personal face being,”Someone shaved my wife tonight…”

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  215. This is where I admit that I’ve always sung “I’m not talkin bout the weather.” Legit. Good to know, never made much sense.

    Like

  216. I thought it was ‘the weather” until just now. Just another stone in my glass house.

    Like

  217. I didn’t know Steely Dan was Dan Seals but I recognized the song. although there are many songs I’ve misheard, this was not one of them and hooray for the booty call.

    Like

  218. The funny thing is, I heard this song on the radio like 3 or 4 days ago, and couldn’t remember ANY of the words. I went online to check the station’s playlist and came up with nothing. Fast-forward to this morning and I woke up with the melody In my head, but this time there were words… well, a few. All I could remember was “I’m not talking about the weather.” So, right or wrong, thanks for helping me finally find this song!

    Like

  219. The funny thing is, I heard this song on the radio like 3 or 4 days ago, and couldn’t remember ANY of the words. I went online to check the station’s playlist and came up with nothing. Fast-forward to this morning and I woke up with the melody In my head, but this time there were words… well, a few. All I could remember was “I’m not talking about the weather.” So, right or wrong, thanks for helping me finally find this song!

    Like

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