I have too much time on my hands and possibly watch too much TV

in Random Crap

I’ve had a shitty week so I spent the last hour looking at these awesome House of Thrones posters and thinking about how much simpler things were back in the good old imaginary days when all you had to worry about were blizzard zombies, or assassinations, or being roasted alive by dragons.

sigils

Truly, those were simpler times.

But then I had to remind myself that there are so many good days ahead, if you know where to look and if you remember all the wonderful people in your tribe, or community, or house.

Thank you for being part of this house, weird and baffling as it may be.

smallhousebloggess

UPDATED:  Lots of you lovely House Bloggess members asked if I’d make this available in my shop and I’d love to but I’d feel weird about it because it’s based on Tom Gateley’s original design elements.  Conclusion: House Bloggess is too ethical for it’s own good and deserves lots of good karma and also some burritos.

215 thoughts on “I have too much time on my hands and possibly watch too much TV”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. This is perfection. You need to frame this and hang it up. Or maybe put it on a flag and fly it outside your house.

  20. Might as well print and hang this in my guest bathroom. It will fulfill all my mother-in-law’s ideas of who I am…

  21. You need an I LOVE THIS button because this made me smile hard during a soul sucking day.

  22. giggles madly That’s epic…. and will be my avatar in short order… except it is a rectangle … bitches… that’s all part of our charm… fitting outside the box… yeeeeah that is 😉 xoxo

  28. I’m gonna need this poster hanging on the door of my hospital room when I go into labor here in a few weeks…….KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKING NURSES. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

  32. Mmmmmmm scones. Too bad I just had all my teeth removed. There’s a place up the way in the canyon that has a ton of giant Beyonces! I think of you every time I see them.

  34. There is such a wonderful build from the first poster to the last. Absolutely Brilliant!!! Please offer this in your shop!!!!

  37. Oooh now I wanna make a poster for our house. I’m going to be brainstorming for this all week, I can feel it. Thank you for the awesomely fun inspiration 🙂

  39. I love it! Sometimes I feel House Stark and sometimes I feel House Bloggess. I picture myself saying “Knock knock, motherfuckers” with a dagger of fell design clenched between my teeth and I am gleeful. Then I realize that I will probably give myself an unscheduled lip-ectomy and decide to stick with House Stark. Of course, that means decapitation or getting hurled out of high tower windows…

  43. I do hope you have this displayed prominently in House Bloggess!
    Now I need to come up with a slogan for House of Pow and make a poster…. (Surrendering the next several hours do my life to the internet….)

  45. LOL! You’re my favorite. Been going through some tough times, but that House of Bloggess reminded me of your book and that metal chicken story and it made me laugh out loud. Now I can empty the dishwasher and go to therapy. Thanks B!

  46. House Bloggess/Lawsbian Pride!!!

    We are weird. We are damaged. We are mighty. We are a tribe.

  48. Yeah, I need this as a flag to fly atop my faerie tent in the backyard. OK, it’s really a drinking tent but it attracts sparkly creatures.

  56. Dammit! Now I want a coffee mug with that on it. Please say it’s coming soon to your store.

  72. I feel fairly certain I would not be murdered should I be invited to a wedding hosted by the House of Bloggess

  75. I have never watched GoT. Not even once on accident while changing channels. Thank you for summing up the whole show for me in one post. Nicely done. I’d like to make a poster for my house that says “Be nice, or we will stab you” but husband thinks it’s a little anti-social.

  81. Boy, am I in a weird mood today. House of Greyjoy emblem looks like a wicked looking uterus and ovaries…

  82. Wish you didn’t have a shitty day. I’m in Italy, and had a shitty day. Got a rose from my waiter. Italian waiters are Lovers. Thank God. Here’s to a better day for us both tomorrow gf, and Knock Knock Mother Fucker is my favorite.
    xo

  84. In House Bloggess once we slay our enemies they shall be taxadermied. Then thier bejewled and decorated copses hung in the great hall so all will know the power and wisdom of The Bloggess. So say we all. (Or am I mixing up shows here…)

  87. This reminds me of a Southern Culture on the Skids song called House of Bamboo. I don’t know why.

  91. @Sarah “Sarah | September 2, 2014 at 2:05 pm
    @Shelley J- Snort. Lady LadyGarden FTW.”

    You just made my day. Nice to get praise from the tribe.

  92. “Knock Knock Mutherfuckers!”…..indeed! You have started a giant metal chicken revolution. Every flea market, antique store, farmer’s market, boutique, and grocery store seems to have some form of the giant metal Beyonce on sale. Seriously. I’ve been traveling up and down the west coast all summer….and they’re EVERYWHERE! One of my friends even sent me a picture from a fair in Ohio that had a giant sculpture that appears to be based on your Beyonce.

    Too bad you can’t get royalties on all these Beyonce sales. You’d be a billionaire!

  98. I would totally fly this outside my house. Looks like you need to make this and sell it in your store. Besides, I want my credit card report to say “8 lbs of uncut cocaine”.

  101. Oh sweetie, you made my day..either a doormat or a do-not-disturb sign. Need this in my life..

  102. Jenny, of House Bloggess, ruler of the internets, commander of the lunatic minion army, Queen of the New Realm! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!!

  107. Doormat, wall hanging, bumper stickers so we can all recognize each other on the road.
    What? You neef to merge and you’re of the House Bloggess? Why, go right ahead.

  111. I haven’t seen Game of Thrones, since I ditched HBO a couple of years ago. My understanding is that it concerns elves fornicating with wizards. And lots of slaying. Then more fornication. Do I have that right?

  112. When I think about how much simpler life must have been back in the day, I try to be grateful for my washing machine. Evidently, that and my electric toothbrush are my favorite reasons to never time travel backwards. literally. I would absolutely consider time traveling forward.

  113. OMG – House Grey Joy cover is a freakin’ RIOT! REALLY!!
    But I still love Beyonce and KKMFs the best. Yes, even more than scones.

  114. Brilliant! A poster and an iron-on applique, so we can make flags to fly, pillowcases to sleep on, and put it on our aprons to give our dinner guests (another) reason to leave early!

  116. My daughter and I say “knock knock motherfucker” all the time, because we are awesome and belong to House Bloggess.

  118. I am printing that sign and hanging on my door when I see the Jehovah’s Witness group canvassing the neighborhood. I promise to take it don’t during Girl Scout cookie season.

  120. House Bloggess once again can rock out with its giant metal cock out.
    Kudos as well for your appearance on the Wheatons’ Pet Adoption Calender.

  122. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that House GreyJoy’s banner looks like a penis and balls?

  126. This definitely needs to be on a shirt, or a poster, or a coffee mug. Or all of these!!

  131. Query: do we have a fortress of awesome and does it have a name, and is that name Fortress of Awesome?

  132. You have no idea the inspiration you are to others! Winter comes for everyone. Bravery is admitting it sucks and is cold.

  134. Now, that is a house I can get behind! Where’s the form to become one of your banner people and can I sign it in chocolate, blood is so unsanitary?

  138. 1- Thank YOU for inviting us to be members of your house.
    2- Poster #23 for the win with, “Beyonce is coming.”
    3- Please don’t kick me out of the tribe, but I really don’t understand why people like scones.
    4- I am redeemed!!! I actually make outstanding scones, even if I do not eat them. (Cranberry Orange with a Maple Sugar icing.)

  142. what the fuck is wrong with me?? i have no idea where all this beyonce shit is coming from… i have reread the post 2 times. maybe the problem with my brain is related to the fact that while fixing dinner tonight i caught 2, that is 2 potholders on fire. within 5 minutes of each other.
    regardless of beyonce and my cluelessness about her….. i am proud to be a small part of the bloggess house. we shall conquer!

  145. Hope of Beyonce would have been sooooooo misleading for folks on Google. Lol
    I love this, tho!

  147. Beyonce would strike fear into the heart of any dragon. (and by fear, I really mean whimsy, so you’re screwed in an animal totem war, but at least you’ll go out in a hail of glitter.)

  148. I feel humbled to visit the House Bloggess. Bless your house and all those who abide in it.

  149. I really hope you make this into a tshirt! It would be the perfect Xmas present for my daughter!

  150. Have to tell you that I went to my local Home Goods store (all kinds of house things you dont need but want oh so much). They had your six foot rooster/chicken(clearly I’m not a farm girl). It made me so happy.

  152. I saw a giant metal chicken in a small town in Pennsylvania a couple of weeks ago. It made me think of you. Tried to snap a pic, but then the light turned green.

  153. Sometimes when I’ve had a bad day, I pour myself a glass of vino or three and go back and read KKMF for a laugh. It is just the perfect pick me up and if you sold these in your store I would be in like flynn!

  154. From the website sweatpants & coffee: “When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of “Me too!” be sure to cherish them. Because those weirdos are your tribe.”

  155. I may have to get this poster. The awesomeness factor is high with this one.

    I started reading the danged books just a couple weeks ago. I’m already almost done with Book 3 (I’d be further if I didn’t have to sleep and go to work). I’ve only seen like six episodes of the show, though.

  158. It would be a honor to hang that in my humble home here in the Upper Northwest Corner. It would bring sunshine to our rainy fall days.

  160. Please tell me this is the first step towards invading neighboring kingdoms?! Because a show following you knocking on your neighbors’ doors to inform them Hunter S. Tomcat is their new lord (and Victor’s reaction) is one I would binge watch over and over.

  161. My house is your house, literally. And I literally mean literally, as in literature, schmuck! What? You think you can come into my house without so much as an invitation, or knock on the door? Hey. get a life!

  162. Love it and love being a part of House Bloggess. But, if I may be so bold, could we also get one with Copernicus the Homicidal Monkey on it with a quote about “hugs?”

  163. I just scared the cat by cackling out loud when I saw your house sigil – AWESOME!!!

  164. This will be for sale in your shop, yes? Pretty please with taxidermied animals on top?

  174. Perfect timing – our 15th wedding anniversary is this Friday, and (as everyone knows) 15 is the Year of the Giant Metal Chicken.

  175. Obviously I’ve been reading your blog too long…or not long enough??! I knocked on my sons’ bedroom door this morning and yelled “Knock Knock, Motherfuckers”! I feel like I’ve got a one-way ticket to Hell. My poor boys.

  180. I’ll expect that I can find this in your store soon as one of those old school metal signs I can hang in the kitchen, because I will buy a couple of those. For myself and for some family members that are fans as well.

  186. House Bloggess rules! I would love to buy and proudly display a House Bloggess bumper sticker. Thinking about the unicorn success club stickers but not sure how durable they would be on a car bumper. I love the idea of all of us politely allowing each other to merge in traffic! Like we are members of a super cool and super secret club. Which I guess we kind of are.

  187. Okay, thanks for making me laugh out loud and snort at my desk.
    Now I’m wondering what MY family poster would look like. I imagine it would have something to do with farts. And cats. Maybe farting cats?

  191. I’m not entirely sure that’s all you had to worry about. I think periods back then would’ve been a mess. Sometimes I want to research how exactly they handled all that but then I realize I don’t want to know. Anyway, worrisome. Oh, what if women on their periods accidentally lured dragons, the way they supposedly draw out bears?

  192. Hilarious. I assume that is soon to be a t-shirt? ‘Cause I want one. I’ll just duct tap the M-F part when I go to school to pick up my kids 🙂

  195. I now need a show called Game of Scones. Maybe it’ll be about competing bakeries? Wait, scratch that. Food Network shows are getting increasingly terrible as it is. They don’t need my help.

  206. This needs to be a poster, I will buy it and hang it in my apartment. Jenny, you are the best.

  212. I cannot commend you for your ethics because your ethics are incorrectly applied here. Your hilarious mother-clucker design is the very definition of “parody”, so it’s fair use. People doing parodies and “take offs” is a great way for a designer’s artwork to get spread around and better known, so that their work can become part of our culture. It’s like Weird Al doing a parody of someone’s song–a songwriter would have to be crazy not to want a Weird Al parody of his or her song!

    It’s sad our litigious society coupled with corporations claiming everything for themselves has had a chilling effect to the point where talented people like you edit themselves into inaction despite the fact that copyright is on your side.

  213. I think I just peed my pants a little. everytime you hit us with “knock knock mfs” I bust a gut because I’m not expecting it. definitely display your house banner somewhere. I’m proud to be one of the family too.

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