For the last couple of years our credit/debit card has been cancelled over and over because of “suspicious activity.” I never know that my card been cancelled until my card is turned down by an uncomfortable cashier, and that’s always nice because it’s such a great self-esteem booster when your card gets declined at the drugstore when you’re buying toilet paper and milk.
The really crappy thing is that 90% of the time the suspicious activity on my account is me. You’re protecting me from me. Yes, strangely-judgmental-bank, I’m the one buying tiny cat wigs from Asia, and taxidermied pegasuses, and giant metal chickens. And then I go to buy a two-head bob-cat and my card gets declined I have to get on the phone to explain to the bank that I’m the one who bought a box full of cobra and that I don’t appreciate their implied criticisms, and then they say that they’re very sorry but that they’ve already cancelled the card and I’ll have to wait until they mail me a new one.
This would be fine if I had another credit card to use, but I don’t because I don’t want to have to pay fees on a credit card when I should just be able to use my debit card for everything if it wasn’t constantly being cancelled. At this point I’m considering calling my bank every day with notes like, “I am currently looking for infant-sized Wolverine gloves, so please don’t cancel that transaction that when it happens. PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME, First-National-Bank-of-Canceling-My-Shit.” (To clarify: I need tiny gloves with sharp knives sticking out of them, which would make a baby look like she’s Wolverine from the X-Men. Not gloves that would allow babies to handle wild wolverines. That would be fucked up.)
Frankly, if I had a dollar for every time my credit card got canceled I wouldn’t even need a credit card because I could live off all those dollars. Which I guess I would just stuff in my mattress because my bank would just hold all those dollars hostage as well.
I know they’re trying to protect me, and that’s awesome but it’s getting fucking ridiculous at this point and I’m wondering if it’s just me having to replace my card all the time, or if this is happening to other people too, or if maybe my husband has made a deal with the bank to automatically cancel anything I try to buy that looks awesome.
So, poll time:
And now, time for the weekly wrap-up:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- My friend Sean made some Scouting patches just for us. YOU EARNED THESE.
- Little Smokey says, “Simmer the f*** down.”
- I’m still on the iPhone4 because I hate change but if you got a 6 this weekend then I made this for you.
- I made this after a week of funerals and birthdays to remind myself to embrace life: Everyone gets one. Use it well.
Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- An FYI if you’re one of the few people who can’t leave a comment on my blog without having to log in to WordPress.
- You have to page WAY down to “Also Selling” but I’m in the Times today and it makes me sort of smiley.
- “But they are not to be denied you. So, in my absence, please, please, enjoy life.” Words I needed to hear. Maybe you do too.
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Crumple + Toss, a bad-ass stationery shop that caters to paper lovers of all kinds. They are awesome. From them: “Sure, we got your typical “With deepest sympathy” cards, but we also have “This fucking sucks. I’m sorry” as well. We have wedding cards that say “shit.” We have flowers AND cats. And flamingos. And moose. The fun doesn’t stop with cards with profanity, cats and awkward compliments. C+T also has a shit ton of super awesome notebooks, list pads and stuff. Come see what we gots. You won’t be disappointed. And if you are, well, that’s your problem.”