Nancy Pelosi is extremely disappointed in me for destroying the Democratic Party. In my defense, I can’t even load the dishwasher properly so maybe it was a mistake to give me that much responsibility.

Yesterday my friend Laura and I decided we needed a break so we went camping (fine, glamping) and it was very relaxing until we checked our phones in front of the camp fire and realized that we’d gotten tons of frantic, distraught emails from the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) who was using some fairly odd tactics to get us to donate cash to fund ads battling the ads that the Republicans were seeking donations for.  I’m not into politics so I’m sure I explained that wrong, but what I do know is that all night we were flooded with so many doom-filled emails that if the DCCC was a person I would have called the police to have them do a well-check.  I realize this is partially our fault, as Laura and I have each donated before, and that we could have unsubscribed if we wanted to, but at a certain point it became so insane that it crossed over into baffling entertainment.

Just a few of most terrifying:

From: Nancy Pelosi <dccc@dccc.org>
Date: September 30, 2014
Subject: we. will. fail.

We will fail to hit our goal tonight

Laura, we’ve tried everything.

— President Obama has emailed you.
— Hillary Clinton has emailed you.
— I’ve emailed you more than I can count.

But with this new Republican outside spending, we’ll still need 28,OOO more online donations to be able to compete.

It’s hard to see that happening with just 4 hours until the deadline.

We have a meeting set to figure out how we’ll slash our campaign plan. But for right now, we have to ask one more time:

Can you please donate to President Obama’s call-to-action, and help us limit the damage?

MIDNIGHT DEADLINE: All Gifts Triple-Matched!

Thanks, Nancy

Nancy’s disappointment in us was palpable and we suspected we would soon be grounded.  Then more letters flooded in from equally frantic DCCC members asking for donations and saying things like:

“We’ll be blunt:  We need help.  And we don’t know where else to turn”

“It’s just awful.”

“We’ve got nothing left, Laura.”

“YOU ARE ON NOTICE.”

“If we fall behind now, we will be past the point of no return. We will lose.”

 

The subject lines alone made me need xanax: “no time. just read.”  “PUMMELED.” “BEGGING.”  “we. will. fail.” “Please help!”  “TRAGIC Conclusion.”  You could almost hear them pulling their hair out and tearing at their clothes.  Honestly though, the “BEGGING” one did push me into action.  Here it is:

From: James Carville <dccc@dccc.org>
Date: September 30, 2014
Subject: BEGGING

I’m not going to sit by and let the Republicans buy this election.

Will you chip in $5 or whatever you can right now to turn this election around?

(If it helps, I’ll beg too.)

We’re still coming up short.

When we say we’re begging, we’re REALLY begging.

Control of Congress is at stake. President Obama’s agenda is on the line. And we’re in serious danger of falling short here.

If we can’t pull it together TODAY, we’re going to get demolished.

We’re begging, Laura. We need 13 donors from your zip code to answer President Obama’s call-to-action. Can you step up today?

MIDNIGHT DEADLINE: All Gifts Triple-Matched!

Sure, it was a little unsettling that our own party was sending us emails that made us feel like we’d all spontaneously explode that night, but in their defense, that terrifying email shamelessly entitled “BEGGING” was the one that spurred me into action.  Sure, I could donate the $5 they were asking for, but I’d already done that before and it obviously wasn’t enough to stem the hysteria so Laura and I decided to use some good ol’ DCCC tactics to raise morale and money:  Apocalyptic-sounding emails.

We replied directly to James Carville’s email:

Date: September 30, 2014
To: “dccc@dccc.org”
Subject: Re: BEGGING 

Dear James Carville:

I am begging you right back.

Please, please, please, for the love of God, send me a photo of yourself holding a Popsicle or other frozen confectionary by midnight tonight and I will not only donate five dollars, I will match that five dollars.

If the frozen dessert is an ice cream sandwich I will triple match it.

And I’ll use that photo to raise money for our party. Your gift can make or break us.

DON’T LET US DOWN, JAMES CARVILLE.

Unsurprisingly, the DCCC recognized the power of vaguely threatening emails and responded immediately.  They must have been confused though, because their email read like a form letter and began like this:

From: <dccc@dccc.org>
Date: September 30, 2014

Thanks for emailing us at the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC)!

If you have a question or request, we want to get you what you need as quickly as possible:

1. Want to donate online to our campaign to elect Democrats?  CLICK HERE TO ACCESS OUR SECURE DONATION FORM…

We stopped reading at that point because they seem to have misread our initial email.  Suddenly I understood how frustrated they probably were.  It is awful when people ignore your histrionic emails.  But we took a deep breath and (following standard DCCC procedures) we decided to send another email explaining the severity of the issue and the level of shame they need to feel:

Date: September 30, 2014
To: DCCC
Subject: Re: Thanks for emailing the DCCC Membership Team!

Dear DCCC:

Thanks for emailing us at Laura’s laptop!

You said: “If you have a question or request, we want to get you what you need as quickly as possible” but the quickest way would have been to respond to my original response asking James Carville to send a photo of himself holding a popsicle (or similar) by midnight. Please see original email for details as it could be worth up to $15 to our party.

PULL IT TOGETHER, DCCC.

“1. Want to donate online to our campaign to elect Democrats?” Yes. Desperately. But I can’t help you until you help yourself. As Nancy Pelosi said to me moments ago, “I’ve emailed you more than I can count.”  (Twice, actually. So I guess I can count how many times. Sorry.  I’m bad at hyperbole.)  At first I thought Nancy was shaming me a bit much considering that we don’t know each other, but I understand her frustration now.

If we don’t get the photo of James Carville holding some sort of frozen dessert the Republicans will have already won. As you said to me a few hours ago, if we don’t have your cooperation “We. Will. Fail.”

YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY ON NOTICE. Your chance to get my donation TRIPLE-MATCHED will end at midnight tonight. Control of Congress is at stake. Please, don’t delay.

Also, that last paragraph was taken almost directly from the email you sent me moments ago but I don’t know how to do it in the flashing yellow warning letters like you did. Please know, however, that I am just as serious, regardless of font.

Shockingly, no popsicle pictures came.  Apparently the DCCC were just as immune to our threats as we were to theirs.

We checked on twitter to see if we were alone in getting these terrifying emails every few minutes.  We were not:  (You should see a box of tweets here that you can scroll down through when your mouse is inside it.  If not, just go to the link)

[View the story “I thought it was just me.” on Storify]

We waited for the whole hour(s?) for a follow-up after the midnight deadline passed, but all was quiet.  We had expected another email.  Possibly something with the subject: “WE. ARE. DOOMED. And it’s mostly your fault” with a picture of orphans and kittens and orphaned kittens being speared by gleeful Republicans making giant shish-ka-bobs.  Instead?  Silence.  They were serious.  It really had been our last chance to donate and be triple-matched.  We felt a bit bad and said a prayer for the people at the DCCC, who we hoped were being given sedatives by helpful nurses.

The next day this came from Nancy:

Date: Wed, Oct 1, 2014
Subject: we. fell. short. 
I was being dead serious when I said we’d miss our goal last night.

We fell short.

Despite emails from President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and myself…we just couldn’t get it done.

It was one of the most aggressive fundraising goals we’ve ever had. We even surpassed our initial goal of 1OO,OOO online donations in 5 days. But we were forced to raise our goal when we learned that Republican outside groups put in 12 million dollars at the very last-minute.

I’m not giving up. And you shouldn’t either, Laura.

We have one last chance to right this ship. To do it, we need 11 donors from your zip code to make a triple-matched donation by midnight.

TRIPLE-MATCH EXTENSION: (for donations made TODAY ONLY)

Chip in $5 immediately >>

Chip in $35 immediately >>

Chip in $50 immediately >>

Chip in $100 immediately >>

Chip in $250 immediately >>

Or click here to donate another amount.

Thanks,

Nancy

PS. For those of you who might be new here: This isn’t a political post.  It’s more about marketing.  Also, it’s a waste of your time to debate politics in the comments section because this community is fairly divided politically but united in the fact that you have the freedom to believe whatever you want no matter how wrong you are.  I’m a Democrat but I’m married to a Republican and we can both agree that there’s a lot of crazy bullshit on both sides.  If you can’t recognize that you probably need to seek help right now.  But first give me $5 immediately if you believe in America, or else all the American eagles will become so despondent that they’ll lay out in the middle of the road and just let you run over them.

PPS.  I wrote this yesterday but forgot to publish it.  This is exactly why I should never be trusted with deadlines, Democrats.

249 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Wow, that’s rather extreme. I’m kinda glad I don’t live there…but at least it makes for very good blog and twitter fodder!

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted 31 days of FMF!?.

  2. HAHHAHA…yeah, I got a lot of desperate emails from them as well…they reminded me of my second husband.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted WTF, Buzzfeed?.

  3. I, too, got deluged by their sky-is-falling email campaign. Eventually, I unsubscribed. I’ll tell you one thing: Those motherfuckers MUST be desperate if they’re begging ME for cash. Let’s just say that I’m not exactly flush with discretionary income.

    Like

    Daddy Scratches recently posted I will write something about this photo as soon as I can stop welling up with tears every time I look at it, m’kay?.

  4. What makes me look a little sideways at some of the DCCC e-mails is, if they were able to triple-match gifts out of desperation… could they have contributed a bit more to meet their funding goal when going all Over Attached Ex-Girlfriend on everyone didn’t work?

    Like

    j. (@jeccaVee) recently posted “Pumpkin Spice” Season Is in Full Effect, so Here’s a Smoothie Recipe.

  5. Glad I am not Democrat. I hate beggars. I hate beggars who want my money. I hate beggars who want my money so they can but coffee and ding-dongs n shit. I hate beggars who want my money so they can but coffee and ding-dongs n shit, when I don’t even get coffee and ding-dongs n shit.

    Like

  6. If the e-mail campaign calls to mind desperate exes and restraining orders, it seems they may need to rethink their advertising strategy. Then again, look at all the social media traffic they’ve generated. Genius or desperate?–I really hate it when I can’t tell difference!

    Like

    Mom in Two Cultures recently posted Part Four: The Great Divide.

  7. You know I’m fairly certain that’d be illegal here in New Zealand

    Like

  8. I got one from Barack that had palm tree emojis in the subject line. OMGWTFBBQ? Is the prez asking me to go on a tropical vacay with him? Is Michelle gonna cut me? Sadly we will never know b/c I deleted it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m a registered independent but now my stomach hurts after reading this post so I might have to donate $5 just to make the pain and guilt go away. So maybe it IS effective an marketing campaign after all? Well played Nancy Pelosi, well played…

    Like

    Gina W. recently posted You had one job....

  10. Tell them that you’ll be glad to donate just as soon as Obama, HIllary, and Nancy send you handwritten requests. What’s this email bull? I just learned that Teddy Roosevelt handwrote more than 150,000 letters in his life. HIllary can surely find the time to drop you a quick note if she wants your dollars. Didn’t her mother teach her any manners?

    Like

    Cassandra recently posted Throwdown Thursday: What Do Women Really Want?.

  11. It’s pretty high order hectoring and makes me not like the people I actually want to love. It is constant and unrelenting and without any cleverness or humor. They could start each one with a joke or a little pun. That would take the edge off.

    Like

  12. Do you think Nancy Pelosi would send you a pic with a delicious frosty treat? Not as great as James, but I would match-and-a-half it.

    Like

  13. Tell them you’ll give them $5 to shut up.

    Like

  14. Somehow I get the feeling that if you did go to donate you’d get one of those ‘are you really a person’ identity verification codes to type in, which would be ironic as it would seem this whole begging business is computer-generated. Perhaps the Democrats are not really human?

    Like

  15. I had to break up with the Democratic Party because it was giving me no space. I had hoped through many lonely moments that it had learned to move on and find happiness with someone else. I see, sadly, that was not true.

    Like

  16. Oh good, it’s not just me who’s getting those. I actually tried to unsubscribe and I told them the emailed too much and their tone was off-putting, but I’m still getting them anyway.

    Like

  17. I was about ready to unsubscribe from EVERYTHING after getting all that shit in my inbox. Glad to know I wasn’t alone.

    Like

  18. Crying laughing right now. I have a special email folder for all of the “friendly” messages I receive from Obama, Nancy, and the DCCC aptly titled, “Political Shit I Don’t Need To Read”.

    Like

  19. I’d donate for a picture of Carville and a popsicle. I’d like to get a little something for my money and this is all I ask.

    Like

    Laurie recently posted National Black Dog Day.

  20. Literally wiping tears from my eyes while reading this. No, not tears of despair over the imminent failure and doom, although I’m sure that’s why Nancy is crying today.

    Like

  21. I’m so disappointed. I’m a Democrat and I didn’t get to delete any frantic emails.

    Like

  22. Reminds me of the endless number of dating site letters ( yes, the mail. Snail mail. I’m old and this was BI – Before Internet) I received after my divorce. I ignored them, they sent more. I ignored them still and they and 10 of their friends sent even more. When I finally got tired of this, I decided to fill out one of their questionnaires and send it back to them.
    Q. Education?
    A. PhD in Professional Gold Digging

    Q. What do you want out of a relationship?
    A. Gold, Diamonds, furs and lots of expensive gifts

    Q. What is your idea of the ideal spouse?
    A. Someone terminally ill with no living relatives who could contest the will

    Surprisingly … I never heard from them again.

    Like

  23. Well now I know who to blame for ensuring I received a picture of James Carville holding an Orange Creamsicle and wearing nothing but boxes and socks.

    It is quite the image.

    Like

    TheJackB recently posted Is Life A Series Of Coincidences Or Do Things Happen For A Reason?.

  24. 24
    Heather Greywolf

    THIS. WAS. AWESOME.
    I got all those same hysterical emails, and all it makes me want to do is unsubscribe from future mailings!!! You hit it spot on, Jenny!! Xanax for everyone!!

    Like

  25. “Yes, yesterday was the deadline. And as hard as we tried to annoy you into contributing, we failed. But, today we have a new deadline. And we’ll have a new deadline EVERY DAY UNTIL NOVEMBER 4TH. That’s right–more than a month of deadlines. You’ve resisted our psychological warfare so far, but can you hold out for a month? Try to block us…we’ll change our email address. We’ll use subject lines about cute kitties and starving children in Africa. We’ll call and push poll you at dinner. Every dinner, every night, for a month. So donate…if you know what’s good for you.”

    Like

  26. If you managed to get a photo of Will Wheaton collating, then you should be able to secure a photo of James Carville holding some sort of frozen dessert. Not a problem!

    Like

    Eden recently posted KEY TAKEAWAYS: Chris Guillebeau, “The Happiness of Pursuit”.

  27. You mean you got those emails, too? I thought they were emailing me personally!

    Not really. Please don’t call anyone to do a wellness check on me. Well, I take that back. If they have cheesecake and wine, they can come over. My wellness would be vastly improved by cheesecake and wine.

    Like

  28. Until I read this post, I hadn’t realized that i am no longer getting those horrible fundraising emails. I wonder when they stopped coming.

    Is my money no longer good enough to beg for?

    The personalized emails from Joe Biden always made me… well, okay, they didn’t make me actually donate more, but I felt special, sort of. Sometimes, there were upwards of 5 a day.

    Like

  29. Next time, Nancy Pelosi needs to include a photo of herself and/or the one of the Obamas holding twine.

    Here in CT they had so many robo-calls in the 2012 election that we disconnected our answering machine. And it was kind of nice, so we never reconnected it. I was recently called at the office by someone who my family does business with — and she was OH so concerned, telling me that my home phone service had been disconnected.
    Startled, I tried it on my cell phone, and it was fine.
    But I couldn’t leave a message! she objected.
    Oh, we don’t have an answering machine.
    She was dead silent for 5-10 seconds while she processed that idea. Crickets, I tell you.
    The concept is probably still keeping her up at night.
    People are equally astounded that I blocked text messaging.

    Like

  30. Yep! I got the same 14,782 emails. Oy!

    Like

  31. Wow. Parties never ask for money here. I guess the know nobody has any.

    Like

  32. Honestly, I’m betting you get that Popsicle picture. It sounds like something Carville would be down with.

    Like

  33. And this is why I don’t check my email anymore. I DON’T NEED YOU YELLING AT ME NANCY!

    Like

    Dawn recently posted Playing well is the best revenge.

  34. 34
    Nan Holcomb

    Crying with laughter. I’m seriously thinking of deleting my entire gmail account. 157 begging emails yesterday. I may never give these folks another $5 as long as I live. Sigh.

    Like

  35. You fell short. This is a heartbreaking loss

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted October in Purple.

  36. Your response is terrific. I got so tired of those begging emails that now I just delete them sight unseen. You’d think the democratic party is going to go down in flames imminently, no? What up dems? Quit with the hyperbole! PS I want to see Michelle Obama with a drum stick ice cream cone. Bahahaha! (cause you know she’d want to make it a fruit pop or something).

    Like

  37. that’s hilarious and I would have loved to see a picture of James Carville with a frozen confection.

    Like

  38. Political spam…I can’t even…Don’t they know there are REAL problems to be addressed? Like chupacabras. Seriously, those bastards need to be stopped. Please donate. BEGGING.

    Like

  39. The Republic Party sends me mail (actual mail) all the time and I have no idea why. I also get emails for things like “vote for this random republican dude in New Jersey.” But my favorite is the letter from Mitt Romney and a Platinum Member Card. I’ve never donated any money to the RNCC, but they “bestowed the very highest honor” on me. They should probably be checked out too.

    Like

  40. Have you seen this yet? It’s funny because it’s true.
    http://emailsfromthedccc.tumblr.com/

    Like

  41. 41
    mistresserris

    Oh yes I was getting those every day too… lots of them… I just deleted them.

    Like

  42. I still get the hysterical emails despite unsubscribing twice. The first time I unsubscribed the response wasn’t that I was unsubscribed but “Ok, we’ll only send you the MOST important emails.” The second time I unsubscribed I actually left a comment that said “Listen, I’m a liberal Democrat who lives in South Georgia. We are rare. You really don’t want to alienate me.” I’m still receiving emails.

    Like

  43. I just donated $5 to myself and slapped myself and stole the $5 from myself to give to myself.

    Like

  44. ROFL. So that night was the ABSOLUTE deadline, but the next day they were all “we’re fucked, but if you click here we’ll still take your money????”

    Um…yeah. I haven’t seen that much desperation since junior high.

    #whyiregisteredindependent

    Like

  45. Dear Lord. Have some dignity, Nancy…

    Like

    Emelie recently posted Because when I get murdered, it will be adorable..

  46. I have never understood the “badger and annoy someone and they will give you money” method of fundraising. When I get a letter from a charity I donated to asking me to donate triple the amount of money I just gave them I take out the angry RED SHARPIE and scrawl back a reply that I am never donating to them because they could have spent that money on the actual need instead o on the paper, envelope,stamp and personnel required to send form begging letters. So obnoxious.

    Like

  47. Yup. Got all the same ones and unsubscribed. I’m in marketing and would love to see the ROI on these emails. Do they really work when they make this party sound desperate and insane?

    Like

  48. It isn’t quite Wheaton collating paper, but just think what we could do with that James Carville/ice cream sandwich photo?!

    I will match your triple-match, so we’re up to $30 in potential pledges.

    Like

  49. DCC = such drama queens.

    Like

    Cary Vaughn recently posted The Alphabet Worm.

  50. My 10 year old daughter has been getting these emails now for months. She is very traumatized, and thinks it’s terribly unfair that someone without a) income or b) the ability to vote is putting that much stress on her life. Dammit, Nancy….don’t you know that’s MY job???

    Like

  51. So glad I don’t do politics. Like you, I’m democrat, hubby is republican.. but we rarely talk about anything political. We just realize the entire system is a mess. Period.

    Like

  52. Who really wrote these emails, Upworthy?

    “This woman donated $5 to the DCCC. What we did with it will move you to tears.”
    “This zip code couldn’t provide 11 donors. You won’t believe the DCCCs reaction.”

    Like

    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted Nuts on ice..

  53. I’d like to point out that if they’re that broke, they shouldn’t be able to triple-match donations. That would be like a kid telling a parent, “for every $5 you give me in allowance, I’ll give myself $15.” Maybe all the DCCC needs is a new accountant.

    Like

    Shelley J recently posted I discovered some comic book sexism while I was being sexist..

  54. Great. All this did was make me go to the fridge and have a popsicle. Thanks Obama!

    Like

  55. I guess I’ve been getting the same cry wolf emails here and I’m deaf to them by now. I blame the drama I’ve been exposed to as a mom of teenagers.

    But If I were to get a request for a photo with a popsicle, I’d have a hard time ignoring that. They need a new marketing person, clearly. One who understands the urgent nature of popsicle requests.

    Like

    bethmarkley recently posted My karmic potty break.

  56. Wow, I am finding it hard to believe that this is real. If that had happened in the UK I’d just assume it was a spoof/spam. I really don’t feel that hysterical, guilt-tripping panic seems like a good way to encourage people to support you! Those are not qualities I look for in my politicians…

    Like

  57. Two years ago, Reince Priebus and I had a very cozy relationship via email. He wooed me, told me that I was pretty, that I was the only one for him and could save the world from the evil empire. Wait. That was Star Wars. Anyway, after repeated emails telling Reincy that I had been a Democrat since 1986, he still pursued me. Our love was not to be cast away by something as trivial as politics and that for only $500, he would be mine — or at least the cardboard cutout of him at an upcoming Republican fundraiser. I was nearly swayed by his smooth words, but suddenly he stopped writing. That bastard. Just like all of the other politicians.

    He’s not getting the cutout back.

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    Stacey Graham (@staceyigraham) recently posted The real story behind #Annabelle and a chance to win a signed copy of Haunted Stuff!.

  58. 58
    Melissa Koczur-Mitchell

    I was tired of reading those emails and trying to unsubscribe, which of course did not work. I relegated them to spam. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I check my spam folder it will be overflowing. Just reading the snippets of everyone else’s emails makes me want to take a Klonopin.

    Like

  59. I had to unsubscribe 4 TIMES to get off all the lists. Like I told them, I’M A DEMOCRAT. That doesn’t mean I have MONEY.

    Like

  60. I love your style of handling situations with fantastic e-mails back (especially apocalypitcy e-mails!). It’s a good thing I did not receive those e-mails – I would have just kept on donating because I’m such a people pleaser and then I would have been horribly distressed by the follow up “we feel short” e-mail and THEN I would have had no money left to go buy wine ice-cream to make myself feel better for being such a failure. Phew. I’m tired just talking about it.

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    Anna Kristine recently posted My Angsty Musical.

  61. Perfect response.

    Like

  62. Well, I would take it as a sign of poor leadership when she blames you. Did she ask that you set up a link on you website for donations?

    Like

  63. I can’t send you $5 to help the despondent American Eagles but I CAN send a (mostly eaten) lime popsicle. Well the stick. I can send the popsicle stick and perhaps the depressed eagle could fashion a new nest with it? Will that help? Let me know ASAP as I also have a box of Klondike Bars that I could release to aid Democracy. It. Is. In. Your. Hands. (or talons – in case you are an eagle). Go USA!

    Like

    thetattootourist recently posted The Post in Which We Meet A Witch Doctor – Witch Dr’s and Woe Gets Real.

  64. I also go them and couldn’t believe they would work (and I am in marketing too)
    — did they really expect me to donate $5 twenty times in one day? Plus, it’s just wrong for the Leader of the Free World to be sending me emails with subjects like: “Hey!”

    Like

  65. I did this, this morning:
    Dear Mr. Romanoff,
    I am so happy that the retired woman living on social security could afford to send you her last $25 but I cannot afford even $1. All I can afford to give you is my vote. I hope it’s enough.

    Like

  66. See, I didn’t get any emails but I can help. Can you please tell James and Nancy that I have an ENTIRE BOX of matches for them? Thanks, every bit helps. I don’t know who, exactly, but it does indeed help.

    Like

    Liz recently posted Inspiration? Or Perspiration?.

  67. I want this to happen. Make it happen people. I want the popsicle pic NOW

    BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE
    OMG

    Like

    itzybellababy recently posted #BringBackOurGirls, Day 164.

  68. Oh, gosh. I am cringing in shame. Those emails sound as though they were written by a professional marketing agency. I am a writer at a marketing agency and we’re taught to write exactly like that. You could swap out the names and it would be a fundraising email I’ve written for one of my clients. And yes I am very embarrassed. It’s terrible crap. But that dire stuff gets written that way because it works …
    And uh it pays my bills … ?
    “YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE!!”

    Like

  69. Man, I’m a marketer and that’s not marketing! I don’t know exactly what that is, except weird. Still, it must work a bit better culturally in America than it would in either New Zealand or England ‘cos I can’t imagine how confounded people would be to receive something like that. Talk about pressure – it’s like a super-condensed version of those late night ads trying to sells knife sets or whatever.

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    Eleanorjane recently posted Reassess your level of awesomeness.

  70. I just delete them without opening them.

    Like

  71. Nancy Pelosi’s morning after subject line to me was “everything we had…it wasn’t enough.” Which sort of made me feel bad, since gmail had kicked it into the spam folder and I didn’t see it until it was far, far too late. It’s like even gmail failed to acknowledge the urgency.

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    Eva recently posted Braver than Mama.

  72. Love that you went glamping! Thanks for the laughs today.

    Like

  73. This was one of the greatest posts I’ve ever read. Beer came out of my nose and it really hurt, but it’s okay because it was totally worth it. Thank you for brightening my day.🙂

    Like

    Alanna recently posted “Oh, You Need A New Heart? I’m Still Using Mine, But You Can Have It.”.

  74. Wil Wheaton loves democracy. I bet he would mail you a photo of himself holding a Popsicle and an ice cream sandwich. AT THE SAME TIME. There you go: democracy saved!

    Like

  75. I’m torn. I did’t get them, so I feel left out. But I also work in marketing and do a lot of email marketing, and this is just bad. I mean, apparently it’s not working for them, so why are they persisting with this approach?

    They seemed much better at this in the main elections. I suppose the blame falls on the midterms for being midterms.

    Like

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted Friday 5: September 26, 2014.

  76. I work in political fundraising and this shit drives me nuts! You’re truly pissing off more people then your winning over, and making us all look dumb in the process. Marketing 101 Fail.

    Like

  77. No pressure though…

    Like

  78. And if Will Wheaton does send you a photo of himself holding a Popsicle and an ice cream sandwich at the same time, I’ll mail you my triple-matched $5.

    Like

  79. Oh, by the way… http://s1.dmcdn.net/Adqr0/526×297-bzR.jpg

    It’s ice cream I think. Still awesome, though.

    Like

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  80. [Gah. Damn you, Autocorrect. For the last time, it’s Wil.] If Wil Wheaton sends you a photo of himself holding a Popsicle and an ice cream sandwich at the same time, I’ll mail you my triple-matched $5.

    Like

  81. 81
    ocularnervosa

    President Obama promised me a dinner at the White House in 2012 and until he fulfills that promise I’m not giving them anything. OK so maybe he said “You may have already won dinner….” But I’m still holding him to his vague promise.

    Like

  82. aw shucks. I was hoping for the popsicle pic at the end of this post and then, heck, I would have donated 15 dollars. And. I. Am. Canadian.

    Like

    Mary-Anne recently posted White Rabbit.

  83. This is hysterical. I got them as well and I’m not a registered democrat, I just live in Nancy Pelosi’s state so I am constantly sent things one way or the other. Luckily they all went into my spam. I had no idea it was that bad. Now, can they get the word out about ebola?

    Like

  84. I’m always amazed when the various parties don’t have retraining orders for stalking during an election cycle. Seriously, they really should. If I did stuff like this, I’d be slapped with a stalking charge.

    Like

  85. I’ve never been so happy that they finally STOPPED emailing me. I think..

    Like

  86. You show them, Jenny! BTW, how is Beyonce? Knock, Knock Mother Fu–er! Still amuses me after all this time.

    Like

    hibernationnow.wordpress.com recently posted Gray Skies, Shocker!.

  87. I’m sorry – this is all my fault. See, I unsubscribed from all the campaigns last week, so clearly that’s what sent them into full-out desperation. I’m sure Nancy is very disappointed in me, but she’s not allowed to email me anymore, so I can’t tell!

    Somehow, in one of my email accounts, I managed to sign up for Republican notifications (although I am a democrat), but they all end up in the spam folder. I wonder why that is.

    Like

  88. If you ever get that picture of him holding a popsicle or ice cream sandwich, let me know. I’ll contribute all of the profits from my blog for the past month. Dammit. We really are doomed.

    Like

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  89. 89
    Barbara in Colorado

    I’m a registered Independent in one of the largest districts of Independent voters in the country, so I get deluged from all sides. Here’s a radical idea that probably will never work: how about spending less money on fundraising? That would cut your campaign costs tremendously, which means you’d have more money to spend.

    Like

  90. You are honestly, the greatest thing.

    Like

  91. I think that the best part was when they wrote “I’m not going to sit by and let the Republicans buy this election.” (I read that with an exclamation point at the end lol), they don’t want the republicans to “buy this election” so they will? What does this mean? Voting is moot cause the election is purchased by the desperate pleas and beggings of whatever political party gets the most? I am writing this with a one-year-old crawling on my face so if this doesn’t make sense, please understand. But I do hope you get my point LOL!

    Like

  92. I too received those emails and ignored them (just as I do all overly dramatic emails. I believe in the cause, but I refuse to be involved in the drama. I just can’t do it….) I do, however, fully support the Carville picture idea. I’m in for $15 as soon as it’s posted.

    Like

  93. i finally unsubscribe a few months ago because the pressure was too much. I like your Popsicle request. I think I’ll triple match your $5 too if you get a frozen dessert picture.

    Like

  94. Fairly amazing that in 2014, whoever types their e-mails uses an upper-case “O” for a zero, like they’re using a typewriter from the 1960s. Or maybe the DCCC’s keyboard is broken and $10 would buy them a new one?

    (THANK YOU. I thought I was the only one freaked out by that. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  95. To be fair I’m the kind of person who would think “you are doomed, GOOD, I WANT TO SEE YOU BURN for all the spam, motherf*ckers!”

    Like

  96. THANK YOU!! At one point I stood on the bed and screamed, “Fuck you!!!! I can afford nothing and ALL y’all take more paid time off then ANYONE has — because you are craven, pathetic and now INSULTING THE PEOPLE WHO USED TO FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE WE JUST WEREN’T WORKING OR GIVING ENOUGH TO KEEP THE CRAZY PEOPLE OUT!!!! But YOU are batshit crazy now. GO TO YOUR BIG DONORS, PULL FROM YOUR PACS, BUT DONT YOU DARE MAKE US FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU AND THE REPUBLICANS CANT PLAY NICE!!!!!”

    PS — if someone says “ALL y’all” you are in such deep shit you better apologize or run.

    Like

  97. I have a special email address that I use for things like DCCC. I check it about once a month (sort of like Jenny’s PO box) and basically bulk delete most of the email. When it gets too full, messages are deleted automatically too, which is kind of cool. Any time a website or form needs my email and I’d rather they didn’t, they get the special one. You should see some of the crap I get on that email address. Because a persistent mailing like the one you experienced does one thing – FAIL.

    Like

  98. Your explanation about the Dems looking for money to battle the ad the Repubs are looking to get funds for is not only completely accurate but it’s pretty much all you need to know about this.

    Like

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  99. For maximum entertainment value, someone has been collecting all the DCCC email messages and posting them:

    http://emailsfromthedccc.tumblr.com/

    Like

  100. I’ve received so many emails from Barack to meet him in L.A., if I ever met Michelle, I don’t know if I could look her in the eyes…

    Like

  101. So I giggled through this because upon reading “shis-ka-bobs” my mind immediately replaced it with “shish-cat-bobs”…. Because in my head I’m 12.🙂

    Like

  102. I unsub’d from so many lists the last few weeks, it’s all the freakin petitions I sign. You got the DCCC bugging you? Whoop, I was getting EVERY SINGLE candidate for congress sending me the same drama filled emails!!!! Gah! I can barely help the guy in my district now 30 people across the country wants another 5 bucks?

    WTF? Wait, was I inundated cos I signed the petition to save the elephants? I thought they meant the real ones!

    Like

  103. Totally illegal here in Canada with outrageous fines levied. No business, political party, or charity is allowed to send unsolicited emails anymore. It’s quite delightful.

    Like

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  104. This was the most beautiful, hysterical post about politics ever…thank you for such a good laugh!

    Like

  105. ” Please know, however, that I am just as serious, regardless of font.” Hahaaaa, you are so awesome. P.S. Thanks for keeping your blog non-political.

    Like

  106. Does that kind of histrionic deluge actually work? I would think you would alienate more people than would donate.

    Like

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  107. 107
    1stepcloser

    I didn’t get those emails however you didn’t tell us where to send you $5. I guess I will just find your address and mail you a $5 bill.

    Like

  108. I am not sure, but that sure looks like a scam email.

    Like

  109. I’m kind of curious if this tactic works on anyone. Poor people sitting there, reading their emails, panicking and reaching for the check book. Quick! We have to act now! We’re LOSING

    Like

  110. If any politician will publish a picture of them holding your book, I will donate $5 to their cause no matter who they are. They can be in favor of running over little old ladies or kicking puppies, I don’t care. They can have the IQ of spam and I will still send them money. (Except for Rick Perry. I have to have some limits.) If they hold up a hardback version of your book, I will send them $10! If they can demonstrate that they do in fact own the book and did not simply steal it from one of their staffers, I will chip in another 37 cents I found in the couch this morning. Holding up an electronic version on their tablet does not apply because you know they would photoshop the fuck out of that. I figure any politician that (a) can read and (b) has a sense of humor enough to read your book can’t be all bad, even if they are running over old ladies, who, let’s face it, might have even deserved it in their particular instance – I’m not one to judge.

    Like

  111. I made the mistake of donating X number of dollars to an unnamed high-profile political candidate running for an unnamed major political party during the 2016 election year. (It’s a shame, really. You shouldn’t have to think your donations are mistakes…you are doing what American citizens are SUPPOSED to do, you’re participating in the democratic (note the small “d”) process…and it’s normally a good thing if you can afford to financially support the candidate of your choice…but SERIOUSLY! I was suddenly everybody’s BFF, from the candidate himself, through his wife and kids, his best friends, his next-door-neighbor, his ecclesiastical leader, MY next-door-neighbor and MY ecclesiastical leader, all the way down to the national committee chair and his associated family, neighbors and church members. And then…when the election was over…every single one of them dumped me like a pregnant prom date. It was devastating.) I’m getting messages again now that the political bandwagons have started rolling – every email account I have they have somehow managed to target, I get phone calls at home and at work…and I’m pretty certain I’ve determined never to give anyone else a single penny of my money. And if that disappoints Nancy Pelosi or Sarah Palin or Ron Paul or Ralph Nader (wait? is he dead??) or Mickey Freaking Mouse, I just don’t care anymore.

    Like

  112. 112
    littlebirdwords

    I swear Jenny… reading your stuff is the only thing online that literally makes me laugh out loud.

    Like

  113. Oh my goodness. What adjectives! What despair! I must have slept right through this and/or not checked my spam box.

    I agree with someone above–The spiraling tone of desperation does have the ring of a certain money scam to it, though. Or maybe the money-scam folks hire out for political fundraising emails now?

    Either way–I love what you did with it!

    Like

    stef recently posted Thanks, Insomnia. I Owe You a Punch in the Face.

  114. My question is, where is the money coming from to triple match donations?

    Like

    Karen Marie Peterson recently posted And when I opened my eyes, it was October..

  115. I have never been more relieved that I am non-partisan.

    Like

  116. Don’t you just love this time in the political cycle? The sky is falling…the sky is falling!! Less than a month left, thank goodness, until the next round.

    Like

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  117. Ha! The twitter screenshots are priceless!

    Like

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  118. Don’t bother to unsubscribe. I did it weeks ago. Didn’t help. I was deluged with those same frantic emails on Tuesday night. But I chortled heartily when I read your tweets that same night.

    Like

  119. Love it! I also get those emails and they also drove me out to the woods. The woods were fabulous, and if you get Carville to hold – dare I say it – a Carville frozen item I will quadruple your $5.

    Like

  120. I obviously misunderstood the purpose of the DCCC’s mailing list. I thought it was to keep me informed and up-to-date, but nope, not so. I donate and volunteer locally and don’t appreciate the DCCC’s guilt trip. The desperate act is so unattractive. Hideous, in fact.

    Like

  121. Great, I’ve been deleting those emails almost automatically and now I come to find out from you that I might be killing democracy in this country. It’s good thing I have an electric oven at this point.

    Like

  122. The continual desperate act is so unattractive. Surely, there’s a better way.

    Like

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  123. 123
    Crochetmaniac

    I had a candidate show up at my front door. Told her I don’t vote for people who bother me. No more visitors!

    Like

  124. I keep getting those as well! They’re driving me bat shit. I tried writing back and reminding them that I JUST MADE A FUCKING DONATION, but it hasn’t helped.

    Like

    jaclynschoknecht recently posted Calculating Your Whine to Wine Ratio.

  125. Carville is a good sport. I bet if you go to him directly via Twitter he’ll send you the popsicle picture.

    Like

  126. Reminds me of an RNC fundraising e-mail that went out over the summer.

    http://twitchy.com/2014/07/26/did-you-abandon-the-gop-rncs-fundraising-email-blast-is-massive-misfire/

    Like

  127. 127
    Lorinda Henry

    I have to hand it to you — you kept your sense of humor and actually responded. I lost it last month and unsubscribed from every one of them. Hysteria is just exhausting. I did explain on on “unsubscribe me that I made up my mind when I was pregnant for my second child (which is a long time ago now) that I would never give in to anyone who tried to engage my guilt complexes. So this month I sailed blissfully along without any wildly inappropriate whining. I am a happier woman for it.

    Like

  128. Well my name is Laura and now I feel confusedly guilty even though I don’t live in America!

    Like

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  129. Golly, what zip code do you live in that it’s so crucial to the Demoncrats? Thanks for ruining democracy for the rest of us.

    Like

  130. Kind of sound like the phone calls that I was getting from the NRA after my room mate moved out. After 2 years of requesting being put on the do not call list, I finally just started asking their callers so much personal info that they are afraid to call me any more.

    Like

  131. One of my email addresses got distributed to a Republican campaign. Now I get emails from both sides asking for money with subject lines like “Obama has failed” and “Obama needs your help”. It makes for a confusing scroll through my spam folder.

    Like

  132. You are magic Jenny. Pure magic.

    Like

  133. 133
    @shthisisme

    Laughing with tears rolling down my cheeks. It’s like Fatal Attraction via email.

    Like

  134. 134
    Mary Rose Pizzuto

    I laughed so hard on reading your take on the whole thing–glad to know I’m not the only one who finds this strategy the ultimate in absurdity! A few months back, I actually went so far as to write them back, asking them politely to please stop emailing me for money, as I was one of the ever-growing core of constituents who was UNEMPLOYED and waiting for them to do their jobs and take some action to restart the economy! I begged them to please stop contacting me, yet they still insist upon bombarding me with this nonsense. Maybe if I threaten to (heaven forbid) convert to the dark (R) side unless they stop emailing me, or offer one of my children as tribute…?!?

    Like

  135. And here I just have been ignoring their emails when I should have been asking them to help themselves by sending me pictures of them holding frozen treats.

    Like

    morgandrake recently posted Hipster Cat does it in style (Halloween Kitty).

  136. Sigh. I thought the Viagra, Increase Your Penis Size, Hi! This is Courtney and I Want You! spam was bad- especially as I am a woman (no offense Courtney- I am married – to a man) – but political crapola is a daily here- and I never donated a thing to anyone in politics. Even Obama had my email – what? Are they spying on us now too? (not serious- read dripping with sarcasm and healthy dose of Wikileaks)
    There is more mail in my junk folder than anywhere else.
    Thank You again Jenny for making me laugh about something that usually makes me frown.

    Like

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  137. Geeze. Our politicians just stick w/autodialers.

    Of course, as a somewhat typical Canadian when it comes to politics, I can’t be bothered to join a party, and vote (hey, I DO vote) for the guy I think is the least malignant…I’m not sure if I’m relieved or jealous that ours haven’t bothered to do this kinda stuff. Makes it ALMOST tempting to join a party. Just to see what they do.

    Then I realize, cheesecake.

    And all thoughts of politiicans raising funds goes away.

    Like

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  138. 138
    Siobhra DeWar

    I am a gun owning liberal Gay. You should see my mailbox.
    I often reply with a message. To the Liberal causes I tell them they must first prove they are a NRA approved cause. And to the Conservative causes I tell them they must first prove they are approved by the Gay and Lesbian Task force.

    Like

  139. I unsubscribed to the DCCC months ago due to those ridiculous emails – but before subscribing I had to give them a REASON for leaving – I said, as soon as the democrats start acting like they democrats, instead of republicans in sheep’s clothing, I will start donating again. Besides you folks, are much richer than I am, so fork up some money, your own damn selves!

    Like

  140. Man, I really wish I had something witty to say but I don’t. This was an evening of perfection, tho, and I wish I had been reading Twitter when you were live tweeting about these emails.

    Like

  141. I never look at these emails. Now I must!

    Like

  142. It just occurred to me: How AWESOME would it be if James Carville sent a pic of him holding a Popsicle and Mary Matalin holding a Fudsicle?

    Like

  143. I won’t donate to the Democrats, but if you can get the Carville pic with a popsicle I’ll donate $5 to a non-partisan charity…..$15 if you can get the pic with the ice cream sandwich. This could be bigger than the ice bucket challenge.

    Like

  144. I love you so much there isn’t a word for it.

    Like

  145. 145
    drumattica

    Also FUCK YOU WORDPRESS. I don’t want to log into your stupid system every time I leave a comment. What is up with that? Is anyone else getting this suddenly? Am I retarded? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE.

    (It’s because you have a wordpress account. WordPress assumes you must want to use it. I’m not a fan of it because I can never remember my wordpress password so I changed the comments so that you can leave a comment with a fake email or fake name and that fixed it for a lot of people. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  146. They clearly need to take a few pointers from NPR about how to fundraise. Those people get me every time.

    Like

  147. Oh yes. That was the day I unsubscribed from ALL OF THEM. While I was not clever enough to request a popsicle shot, I did tell them I was ashamed of them and their tactics and embarrassed to be a supporter. And I unsubscribed. It felt a lot like taking a shower.

    Like

  148. 148
    SqualorHouseGail

    I have managed (and I was on a LOT of lists!) to get Nancy, the DCCC, the Prez, Joe Biden (who I really do love) and a variety of Senators in different states OUT of my email box. I just kept unsuscribing and I seem to have got them all! They got off on the wrong foot with me for begging for money immediately after the 2012 election (I’m looking at you AL FRANKEN).

    When it actually gets close, I might break down and donate a little.

    Like

  149. 149
    deborahblake1

    Whew. I thought the collapse of the Democratic party (and hence the entire country) was my fault, and mine alone. Thank goodness they can blame you too. So basically, it is the two of us. Our bad.

    I got All Teh Emails too. (I like the Twitter person who suggested making it a drinking game. It would probably kill me, but it is still one way to cope.) I have occasionally caved and given them my $5 (once, I think it might even have been $10, which undoubtedly just made things worse). At this point, I just want to write back and say, “I’ll tell you what–stop screwing things up, and I’ll sent you $15.

    Or, you know, I’ll pay you to stop emailing me, you hysterical bastards.

    Thanks for this. It actually made me feel a little better about the whole thing. Or maybe that was the Xanax. (What–I was supposed to send it to the DCC? Oops. My bad again.)

    Like

  150. Unsubscribing doesn’t work. Nothing works. The person sending these emails should be publicly punched in the face. For that, I might toss in $5.

    Like

  151. Fuckery is afoot.
    Reading this gave me heart palpitations.
    How was the camping? Any Sasquatch?

    (“Fuckery is afoot” is my new favorite phrase. No sasquatches. But there were roving dogs: https://twitter.com/TheBloggess/status/517331804207210498 ~ Jenny)

    Like

  152. At the very moment that I finished reading your post, Elizabeth Warren popped up in my inbox, gasping that Time is Short. These are people who have lasted (and put us) through the millennia of tedium that is a political campaign, but they can’t wait more than a few minutes before sending more groveling emails? WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY, DCCC? Hint: check the pockets of the idiots who came up with this tsunami of embarrassment.

    Like

  153. 153
    SharonCville

    I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME!!! I’ve been really busy, so I’ve just been deleting the messages, but they were just so over the top that even I, a Political Science major and firm believer that politics is the best form of entertainment that our forefathers ever came up with, had to stop and say, “Damn. That’s messed up.”

    Like

  154. And today, Nancy Pelosi was bragging that her father brought the Orioles to Baltimore and that her next door neighbor owns the Washington Nationals baseball team.

    Like

  155. I got so frustrated with all the hysterical emails that I not only deleted them, I UNSUBSCRIBED! Enough already! The state of elections in this country is pitiful. Campaign season is too long, unrestricted contributions, thanks to Citizens United, and so on. So uncivilized!

    Like

  156. But… But… Joe Biden called me “friend”
    and his static form letters felt so true. Was it all a lie????
    😦

    Like

  157. Dear Nancy Pelosi,

    You have been dead to me ever since you took the impeachment of the usurper W off the table. You are a traitor to your nation, your species, your planet. There is no possibility that I would so much as urinate upon you if you should happen to catch fire, and I would donate triple matches to make that happen. Indeed, there is no person in politics now on whom I would bestow such bodily moisture in an ignitory emergency, nor is there likely to be in the future.

    In conclusion, Ms Pelosi, burn in hell, don’t write me again, and have a nice day.

    PS: I’m kidding about the “nice day.”

    Like

  158. Wondering if I can use this stalker email tactic on friends and family to raise money for our next vacation… Must get to Punta Cana or We.Are.Doomed.

    Like

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  159. I Unsubscribed 4 times and threaten to report the DCCC under CAN-SPAM laws before the stopped. And then they found my other gmail address. Your response was brilliant. And the comments here made my night. But to add to this. There is a story of a Cali lawyer who is suspended and allegedly one of her points was she was important and close to Obama. “See the email he just sent me.” (On top of photoshopping herself with famous people)

    Like

  160. I’d really like to send them a pic of Wil Wheaton collating twine, but I’m afraid I’d get back on their mailing list.

    Like

  161. To quote my man from “Big Daddy:” I have a belly button….

    Like

  162. Weird. Your Storify window here is just a bunch of lines on my PC, like blank notebook paper.

    And yeah, I fell for their “Don’t unsubscribe! We’ll reduce your e-mails to just once or twice a week!” LIARS! I might be getting one or two a week that has “DCCC” as the sender, but I get another 8 – 10 a day from some other Democratic politician requesting DCCC donations.

    Like

  163. I found this awesomeness after reading your post
    http://emailsfromthedccc.tumblr.com/

    Like

  164. Huh. And now the Storify window is displaying correctly. So I guess just disregard the first line of my previous comment.

    Like

  165. I am relieved to hear that I’m not the only one who is alarmed by the DCCC’s scare tactics. I’m an American citizen living in Denmark. After years as an Independent, and fueled by Obama’s candidacy, I registered as a Democrat prior to the 2008 elections. Now, after having been bombarded for months on a daily basis with these pleas for contributions, I am seriously considering dropping my party affiliation. As far as I’m concerned, this kind of invasive marketing communication estranges rather than engages its target audience.

    Like

  166. You should try to reach James Carville DIRECTLY and ask for the popsicle picture. I found an address for his office at james@carville.info. There is an animation of him speaking that would look much better if he had a popsicle in his hand!

    By the way, I smell “end of fiscal year” in their desperation. Don’t know enough about $ and budgets to understand why you would WANT money at the end of the fiscal year, when most gov’t agencies try to SPEND their money before the end of the fiscal year, so I’m just left confused. I got all those emails, too, but having received about 2,000 from Blogging 101 and Writing 101 in the last two weeks, it’s all just a blur of scrolling.

    Like

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  167. 168
    Natalie the Math Teacher

    I have been ignoring those emails but you just inspired me to do more for the DCCC. I shall ask them to send pics holding kittens in baskets in front of an open oven. Cause that’s what their emails feel like.

    Like

  168. LOL Not to get too serious, but a friend of mine ran for Congress as a Democrat, and the Democratic Party had him doing so much “fundraising,” every day, on the phones like a telemarketer, that he didn’t have time for radio and tv interviews, PR stunts like volunteering at the VA hospital, or anything like that. They hired a mutual friend to be the campaign manager for our area, but she wasn’t allowed to meet or talk to her friend running for Congress of 20 plus years. They bugged her phones and his phones, tapped into their social media… They had her doing so much work, and then they didn’t pay her the promised pay check. Meanwhile, I refused to answer to the democratic party, but I was trying to help my friend. I was at one event taking pictures of him with people, from the guy down the street to Bill Clinton himself, and his PR guy from Washington was introducing a new intern to everyone, and she pointed at me asking, “Who is she?” He quickly said, “She’s a nobody. Don’t mind her.” I’m like really? No wonder politics are fucked up. These stupid PR firms and marketing campaign firms and party organizations took a crap on our freedom to vote and then wiped their butts with the constitution.

    Like

    Michelle Grewe recently posted If I were Bewitched, I'd Mess with My Old Neighbors and Take Over the World.

  169. They send stuff to my Yahoo email and so far have skipped all the other email addresses. If they find me there, it may be time to move again and possibly go into the DCCC EMail Recipient Protection Program.

    Like

  170. OMG HAHA, this post literally made me laugh! I would’ve thrown my phone into the fire though (arab tempers and all)

    Like

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  171. 172
    jenster8dc

    My 13 YO got these e-mails. When she went to unsubscribe (because: 13), they asked her why. I told to put, “Because I’M THIRTEEN.” She didn’t, bless her heart.

    Like

  172. It was like a telethon but far less upbeat. Are they going to do the same thing every day, seeing that they extended the deadline once already?

    Like

  173. Hence my switch to the Independent party… whoever they are.

    Like

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  174. I need to start a political party of my own so I can ask strangers for handouts. Oh, wait… I’d have to move to the U.S. though. In Canada my ass would be fined from here to Timbuktu if I tried that.

    Like

    NancyTex recently posted and the LUCKY, LUCKY winner is….

  175. Used to run into James Carville occasionally when he lived in VA. Too bad he is back in New Orleans or I would track him down and MAKE him hold a popsicle for you!

    Like

  176. Can you just see the look on the email monitors’ faces if/when they should sift through the replies? You may just get a knock on your door (and it won’t be Beyonce)! I tried to unsubscribe from some political emailing list but the internet security settings determined it was a high risk site so I couldn’t unsubscribe. They’re all a bunch of mo fos in my book.

    Like

    kdcol recently posted Where does the beer go?.

  177. I received 27 in one day from all my very personal friends in the Democratic Party.

    Like

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  178. And I thought that the candidate signage decorating every road and lawn was bad. At least they’re not in my email. shudders

    Like

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  179. I’m English, and if our Conservative or Labour Party tried any of this they’d almost certainly be boo’d out of office. We get emails like this from David Cameron (albeit rather more wordy):

    I set out our Conservative commitment for the next five years.

    If you want to provide for yourself and your family, you’ll have the security of a job.

    If you work hard and do the right thing, you will keep more of the money to spend as you choose.

    [blah blah blah pensions blah housing blah tax]

    A Britain everyone is proud to call home – and a long-term plan to get there.

    So let’s finish what we have begun.

    Let’s secure a better future for you, your family and for everyone.

    Please play your part by donating to our campaign today.

    Thank you,
    David Cameron.

    I deleted it, and ordered chinese take-away.

    Like

    Jamie recently posted Grandad Gets Surprise Outdoor Sex Show.

  180. This is why I’m not a member of any political party. Bad enough, a few years ago, when during a vote for senator I kept getting phone calls from the Clintons, begging for my vote (simply because I’m a registered voter), but constant tweets demanding money would be enough to send me around the bend. (It’s a short bend; I get sent around it a lot).

    Like

  181. I just assumed that in an effort to save money, the DCCC had hired a couple of desperate eighth-grade girls to write their emails. Either that or Joe Biden really, really “needs” me in the “next seven hours.” Frankly, I’m more comfortable with the former explanation.

    Like

  182. I should start sending out those please via text message, email, and social media and see how much money I could raise to buy myself a unicorn, I head they might have one in Korea http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/08/north-korea-unicorn-lair-beast-dragon-head-deer-body_n_2259988.html

    Like

  183. I love this! And thank you for clearly stating that this wasn’t a political post and that it was meant to be funny. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve posted something slightly political to facebook because it was funny (I’m not into politics either) only to be attacked with comments that my statement was wrong even though I never made a statement. This post got me laughing so hard🙂

    Like

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  184. Oh, the Humanity! Or Hilarity…which reminds me of Hilary…which reminds me I totally forgot to feed the cat this morning. I should really read your posts BEFORE going to work.

    Like

  185. 187
    ChynnaBlue

    I complained to them about this a few months back when they sent me 5-6 emails a day for 5 days in a row. I unsubscribed from what felt like 50 different DCCC mail lists, but a few still come through. They also call me every other month. They called me soon after my rants on their social media sites and I told them the same thing on the phone – they’re abusing the system and I’m boycotting. I explained that I had been a regular donor, but I’m not giving them any money until they change their ways. I donate directly to local campaigns, but not to the DCCC because they’ve totally lost their minds.

    Like

  186. Like

  187. Not sure what I did to avoid the histrionics, but my e-mail this morning was filled with love from Joe Biden proclaiming that Barack wants to thank me in person! (Maybe he really is like my crazy Uncle Ernie. You know he is always happy, but you never know what kind of crazy rogue thing he might do because he missed the boat the rest of us were on….)

    Like

  188. At least my teenagers have figured out to only ask for money twice and they stop asking.

    Like

  189. I didn’t think I was the only one, but I’ve got you beat on numbers of emails. I must get over 70 a day from Democrats running all over the country beacause I once contributed to a general fund. I was just complaining to my husband about it when he read me your post. Poor Nancy P. It must be very wearing to maintain such a high level of upset. Oh, I get lots of phone calls too. I told them to not call again, but it is always for different campaigns.

    Like

  190. James Carville holding some sort of frozen dessert , I would have added NAKED

    Like

  191. Okay this isn’t something I usually brag about, but Nancy Pelosi and I went to the same college(different years). Maybe I can use that to get her to send you photos of her and frozen treats.

    Like

  192. How can they expect to be successful with that kind of self-defeating, self-fulfilling prophesy? It’s just a bummer, it doesn’t inspire donations. What happened to “We can do it!”? Sounds like they need a new communications guru.

    Donation history or not, if anyone sent me that much vaguely hostile spam I’d immediately block them. UGH – this is what is wrong with politics on both sides. We should start a campaign to get the money out of politics – asking everyone to STOP donating money. It seems donations only succeed in spawning more mud-slinging ads that make us all want to hunker down and watch the DVR and Netflix until the elections are over.

    Like

  193. Jenny, I wish all of the blessings upon you and your beloved. My sister is very ill and we are at a low point. I feel desperate about my inability to help her. And you have given me this wonderful laugh. Plus, through Spotify I found your twitterplot with Scalzi which resulted in even more laughter. My sister is not any better and I still don’t have super powers, but I feel lighter and that’s a big deal.

    Like

  194. Wow. Such an amazing post it drew me, a long-time lurker, to the comment field. I feel your pain. We all do. My brother lives in Ohio and said he needed to figure out how to charge both parties for the therapy they needed after the last presidential election. This sounds similar. I wonder if we could get a class action going against both parties to pay for our collective national election-related trauma.

    Like

  195. And i thought the four phone calls I received the night of our recent provincial election was bad. When I see stories like this from our neighbours to the south, that I am so glad any political campaign (Federal, Provincial or Municipal) in Canada runs for a total of six weeks prior to election day. I cannot imagine a two- three year campaign, what a waste of money.

    Like

  196. That’s insane! Who thinks that kind of marketing will work? Ugh.

    Like

  197. 200
    Shannon Miller

    Jenny, after wiping away my tears (from laughter) and changing my unmentionables due to the fact that I’ve had children and now things don’t always work they way they should (again from laughter), I decided to donate a few bucks. BUT, instead of giving my hard earned dollars to either political party, I decided to give it to the people in this country that really deserve it. So, in honor of you (and your always willingness to donate to good causes) and my former Ranger friend, I donated $36 to the National Ranger Memorial Foundation. I was going to give $5 and triple it, but as Yom Kippur begins this evening, I opted to give $36 instead. (Which is a typical donation amount, in that it is a multiple of 18 and it’s Hebrew word, Chai, means life.)

    Thanks for everything you do and making me giggle on a regular basis.

    Like

  198. I finally gave up and “unsubscribed.”

    Like

  199. 202
    Erica Probst

    i could not stop laughing… i still cannot. the republicans do it too. we get flags…prayers and pictures of Reagan.. equal opportunity begging.

    Like

  200. I used to work for someone who had previously done postal mailers for Robert Tilton. It’s pretty much the same tactics. It’s all marketing.

    BTW, the panic seems a bit exaggerated…

    “The DCCC has outraised the National Republican Congressional Committee by about $33 million this cycle, thanks in part to $50 million in small-dollar donations from the party faithful — most of them collected online.”

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/from-shaming-to-semi-stalking-democrats-flood-inboxes-for-last-minute-campaign-cash/2014/09/30/d83f5ed2-481a-11e4-b72e-d60a9229cc10_story.html

    Like

  201. This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in awhile. They really wanted that five dollars. Maybe someone was hungry for a foot long sub.

    Like

  202. These desperate pleas from the Dems always come to me when I’m about five days short of payday, and I can only give when I’m feeling flush. They need to time the desperation a little better, and I ante up.

    Like

  203. Sometimes even not being subscribed gets you this nonsense. I’ve never been on an email list (except for once, during the five minutes of Chris Dodd’s presidential campaign), but I live in New York City, where the local politics gets intense. And every election season, I am subjected to about 30 flyers per week and 6 robocall messages PER DAY touting one or another particular candidate. I even had campaign workers from one local race STOP BY MY HOUSE. (I wrote that candidate directly and told him that I was going to promise right now that I would vote for him – IF he removed my name from ALL of his campaign marketing. If I got even one single email, mailing, phone call or visit from him again, he could guarantee I would not vote for him. A week later, sure enough….)

    Like

  204. I will send $5 to Jenny’s charity of choice for a posted picture of Wil Wheaton holding James Carville while either or both of them eat a frozen treat of any type. And I have a week before payday, so this is not being made lightly.

    Like

  205. Tried to UNsubscribe 3 times to no avail. Grrr.

    Like

  206. Not that it matters, but isn’t it fraud when they state that the ” But we were forced to raise our goal when we learned that Republican outside groups put in 12 million dollars at the very last-minute.”?

    Unless the Repubs really did raise 12m in just a few minutes, which I find highly dubious.

    Like

  207. I love this post and actually asked to be taken off their list because it was getting ridiculous. Good for you, I’ll bet James Carville gets wind of this and actually does take a photo of himself with ice cream! Good work.

    Like

    Fran Tunno recently posted Fixing Jesus.

  208. 211
    davidbreslin101

    Wow, that puts our occasional boring emails “from” David Cameron, Prime Minister into perspective. (Labour appear to have died, no-one’s heard from them in a while.)
    The French system is great: they’re not ALLOWED to spend more than 20-odd million euros per party even in a general election. I’ve been there during a local election when the town was plastered with…. ten (10) regulation A4 black-and-white posters on a notice board outside the post office.

    Like

  209. Yassss! And like one of the Twitter people, I have unsubscribed twice in the last couple of weeks and they are too despondent to care. I’d like to think they realize at this point that instead of spurring us all to action, they annoyed us shitless.

    Like

  210. That’s a super fast way to get my email address unsubscribed and reported as spam. Yaaay!

    Like

  211. 214
    Micael Kemp

    This is totally off point, but I had to let you know about this Taxidermy Exhibition:
    http://aberdeen.stv.tv/articles/293628-taxidermy-show-by-david-blyth-displayed-at-aberdeen-business-school/?fromstreampost=166958

    Like

  212. I LIKE NANCY ,IWOULD GIVE HER ALL MY MONEY IF I HAD SOME

    Like

  213. It got so bad that I took a klonopin, and crawled into bed to watch several hours of Forensic Files.

    Like

  214. 217
    Karen Simpson

    i got them too. I am honored that Nancy and James all think of me as a personal friend, but I am a poor educator and I couldn’t send them cash. I guess I will share in the downfall of the Democratic party as well.

    Like

  215. 218
    heathdog McWolfin

    I don’t even read my emails anymore because no one but the dccc emails me.

    Like

  216. Wow, that’s extreme. Thank god they can’t do that here in Australia.

    Like

  217. 220
    Tom Stempfley

    I especially enjoy deleting the ones that start with DON’T DELETE!!!!!!!
    I cared at one point, but I’ve never responded well to shame based behavioral programming.

    Like

  218. Did you know that paid political advertising is banned on TV, radio and film in the UK. They don’t beg for as many pounds as they’ can’t spend it as quickly!

    Instead we get only a couple of official ‘party political broadcasts’ during elections. These are very useful / unbelievably dull, as they allow us time to put on a cuppa between good programmes!

    Also the BBC is officially neutral (but people argue that it leans one way or another).

    You can also stop junk mail and cold calling.

    The weather’s normally crap though and they’re starting to put up pictures of politicians, they can make you feel quite queasy!

    Like

  219. This literally made my week.❤

    Like

  220. I went through this a few months ago with them. I kept doing the Unsubscribe thing and they kept asking me why? and I kept saying “I never subscribed! I don’t know how you found me! Make it stop!” and then they kept NOT unsubscribing me. I had to threaten FCC stuff. And I still get a few. They’re all craven horrible human beings. And I’m like super super liberal. But I hate the DCCC.

    Like

  221. My republican friend was just telling me about how they do this to her, and now I see the dem’s are doing it too. Bummer. I find it hard to believe they get enough $ this way to justify all the people they piss off.

    Like

  222. I gave them five bucks when they asked months ago. Then they just kept asking and asking, and I finally threw them another $15 and unsubscribed from everything. It’s like loaning an addict a few dollars, or feeding a stray dog… When someone is begging you for money, it’s hard to say no, but when you give them money it puts you on a list of people who are willing to give them money.

    When I donated to Obama’s campaign during his first presidential run, I got a fake signed letter and stuff, I framed it! Honestly, I did and still have it up in my home library. I was so proud on his inaugural day that I cried and bought every newspaper at the store about it. America had done something incredible. I was proud of my country for the first time since I was 14 years old.

    Before that, I did phone banks and cold calls for Kerry when I was 16 and couldn’t even vote yet!

    -I give a crap-, but I don’t like being treated that way with the emails. I mean, honestly, politics is all about money, I get it, but I’ll show up in November, what else can they possibly want from me realistically?

    Like

  223. Too funny. I especially love the “begging” email. To me, it reads like this: “I’m not going to sit by and let the Republicans buy this election. Will you help the Democrats buy this election?”

    I’m pretty sure if I’d received that many emails from a single domain in such a short amount of time, Gmail would have started automatically sending them to the spam folder.

    Like

  224. Ugh. Behavior like this would be guaranteed to lose my vote, if they’d ever had it in the first place. Maybe acceptable if they were screaming like that for funds to … oh, I don’t know, feed starving children or something. But they want it for POLITICAL MARKETING. I cannot believe anyone would be stupid enough to give money to people who will thank you by flooding you with advertising! Ugh ugh UGH.

    Like

  225. I’m a member of the Apathetic party, which is good for me because they just don’t care enough to send an email.

    Like

    opticynicism recently posted Friday Night Twitter: The Red Light District.

  226. Oh Dearest Bloggess; I have made you into an angel; i was in a corner, a dark and dusty corner, along with several ants seeking water, and who found my tears – it’s drough time in CA; I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY one; i finally wrote Nancy, no answer; Joe biden; hey Joe I like you and even Obama, and i finally told my computer who probably laughed and chucked my mewlings into cyberspace. Look we have no money; we are old, my husband is seriously ill, i’m fillng out Section 8 housing; try less Makeup Nancy, save on that; get your grandkids to donate; they don’t give a rat’s ass about main street, whose helping the poor; i register non-partisan, but certainly couldn’t vote Republ but Nancy may get a letter from me any day; the nerve; thanks for your post. eternal gratitude

    Like

  227. The DCCC got hacked. It’s just like those “you can get an iPad free…” messages.

    Like

  228. 231
    Sillymagpie

    I got them, too, and found them annoying. Only my dysfunctional friends are allowed to e-mail me like that. The DCCC may be dysfunctional, but we are not on late-night panicked e-mailing terms.

    Like

  229. I am in a mixed political marriage as well, only my husband is running for office. Fortunately, I have never donated to a political party, so they don’t have my email address. Unfortunately, with my husband, who had a perfectly good career as an engineer and could have gotten more respectability if he had decided to become a used-car salesman instead of a politician, running for office, I have had to spend time with actual politicians and their minions and it is not a pretty sight. The only good thing about the bicycle accident I had that left me with six sutures above my eye and a $2,700 ER bill was that I got out of accompanying my husband to anything political for a few weeks so nobody would think he had punched me.

    Like

    the gold digger recently posted In which Primo's social media person quits, again.

  230. 233
    Amber Gustafson

    Back in the day, I received a frantic phone call from Concerned a Women of America. It went something like this:
    “Barack Obama wants to murder and dismember babies in the womb. He and his cronies love any law that allows women to rip their babies up and use their remains for scientific experiments. Will you help us stop Obama from murdering innocent babies in their mothers’ wombs today?!?!?
    At the time, my views on abortion were pretty black and white (now they are much more nuanced) and at the time of the phone call, I would have considered myself ardently pro-life. I found CWA’s approach to be so disgusting, it was the beginning of the shift in my understanding of the issues around abortion.
    I am now active with Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America and I have seen more than my share of histrionic fabricated political crises. I am much more jaded and far less reactive to any of it – from either side.

    Like

  231. 234
    alphazulu99

    And then Jesus came upon his disciples and said, “Brethren, I’ve heard it said among you that I am the Son of God and was sent to die for your sins.

    Brethren, may I asketh, who in the goddamn hell came up with that Neanderthal bullshit!!!!!!!????

    Blood sacrifice!!!!???? Are you out of your fucking minds with that idiotic caveman lunacy!!!!!!!!!!!??

    Brethren, I’d sooner lick Judas’ ass crack than be a part of your disgusting dying for sins horse shit!!!

    And the disciple whom Jesus loved the most said, ….”Well fuck you Jesus!! I always thought you were kind of gay anyway!!!

    Holy shit fellas!!! What the hell are we gonna do now!!?

    Hey, maybe Billy Ray will die for our sins. Anybody got Billy Ray’s phone number?”

    ——The Gospel of Jesus, if it were composed by a sane, rational person and not a bunch of ignorant, superstitious goat sacrificing Bronze Age religious lunatics who didn’t know where the sun went at night.

    Like

  232. 235
    Headless Unicorn Guy

    Just like those emails I get telling me to give “Or It Will Be The End of Christianity In America (and God WILL HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE)!” Whether the Enemy du Jour is Homosexuality, Abortion, Homosexuality, Secular Schools, Homosexuality, the Obamanation of Desolation, Homosexuality (anyone noticing a pattern here?), or Those DEMOCRATS.

    Though the most extreme of these “Gimme Money Now Or The World Will End” fundraisers was the American Life League phone solicitation during the Bork confirmation hearings — they actually told me flat-out that if I didn’t fork the cash over, “Millions of unborn babies will be aborted in the New Holocaust and GOD WILL PUNISH YOU FOR IT!”

    Like

  233. I don’t get letters, I get calls. I have no money. My income is less than half what it was 2 years ago. I just say no and wonder how I can get off the list. But you can’t. We. Are. Doomed.

    Like

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  234. With you around, Jenny, we might just survive the election day horrors. Thank you for my morning laugh break!

    Like

  235. I’m a Republican, but it never ceases to creep me out when I get an e-mail from former Pres. George Bush that starts with, “Dear awesomesauciness, Laura and I are looking forward to the upcoming elections….” because it makes me wonder if I drunk-dialed the RNC one night and George just happened to be manning the phones, and I proceeded to donate a kidney or something, and now they want more, more, more.

    Like

  236. What’s sad is that I actually want to give money to some Democratic candidates right now, but find myself avoiding it because I’m afraid it will put me on some kind of “call list” and I’ll never have a moment’s peace at home. Sadly, the Obama campaign believes it “discovered” that multiple calls/emails, even to people who ask not to be disturbed, ultimately pays off–i.e., they still get money. But I don’t think they have any way to measure how much they disaffect people who don’t want to be harassed.

    And yet none of the global corporations are holding bake sales to get their endless money….

    Like

  237. If James Carville will e-mail a picture of himself, Mindy Kaling, and this ice cream sandwich pillow, theres’ at least $5 in it for the DCCC. http://greatideas.people.com/2014/07/10/10-reasons-we-want-to-have-dinner-with-mindy-kaling/

    Like

  238. Typo should be corrected: “…pillow, there’s at…”

    Like

  239. 243
    Jesse Colton

    Oh god Jenny I am laughing so hard right now it hurts. I just can’t even handle this.

    Like

  240. THIS IS AWESOME…laughed so hard I cried, or maybe that’s the stress and desperation of these repeated entreaties rubbing off, even after monthly contributions to the DSCC, DCCC, and DNC! Just sent some $ to ‘tippable’ Senate races via ActBlue, but sounds like I should have held out for some pix of Carville with frozen treats…https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/pec2014

    Like

  241. And this is why I refuse to give out any of my email addresses to any place I give money to….even stores who might send me coupons.

    Like

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  242. I think I just pissed my pants. Srsly. Funny stuff. And true. I’ve been worried about Nancy for weeks now.

    Like

  243. I’ve been deluged with so many fuckkking emails – even after unsubscribing – that I’ve decided I’m going to vote Republican this election. I’ve lost my patience… stop spamming me!!!

    Like

  244. If you want to respond to the he’s guilt emails from DCCC.org you don’t reply to DCCC.org
    you go online and look up and find an email address of an actual person you could ride to otherwise you’re just wasting your time. DCCC org automatic response system and all you’re going to get is more request for donations. I guess that is something that a lot of young people did not know but it is nice for them to know. I am not so young, However, I have been getting the same flood of what I call ” guilting” emails from DCCC.org. I’ve been getting these emails for months and generally just trash them because I don’t give a rats sass about donating to any entity or person except Brian Sanders. As far as I’m concerned the Democratic Party establishment go jump off the nearest cliff. Because the Democratic Party establishment is working against Bernie Sanders and for Hillary Clinton if you want to know the truth. The blogger should have done more research on the issue instead of making it into a comity which it is as far from the reality as you can get.

    Like

  245. Sorry the speech to text app stated Brian Sanders instead of Bernie Sanders that just makes me sick to my stomach. Also there are several errors that are related to my iPhone’s poor speech to text app and the window is so small while trying to post these comments that it’s hard to proofread. So I apologize to any of you were read my post and was thinking “what an idiot this guy is.” Sorry.

    Like

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