Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

So my friend Maile came to my house to pick me up for lunch and we were a block away when I saw something large and hairy in the back of the pick-up heading toward us, I thought “That is the biggest fucking dog I have ever seen” and then the truck got closer and I thought, “That can’t be a dog.  Is that Sasquatch?”  And then the pickup passed us and I involuntarily screamed: “WATER BUFFALO!”

And then Maile looked at me with mild confusion (probably because I’d just interrupted her story which had nothing to do with water buffalos) and I said, “DUDE. A FUCKING WATER BUFFALO DRIVE PAST US” and she was like, “Really?  I didn’t notice.” And I think that’s a pretty good sign that you’re not paying attention to the road, or that you live in Texas and you’ve learned block shit like that out.

Then Maile said “Do you want me to turn around and follow the water buffalo?” and I said “HAVE YOU EVEN MET ME?” and she nodded and said, “Right.  Follow the water buffalo” as she made a quick U-turn.  And after a minute I started to worry that maybe there wasn’t a water buffalo at all and that I was having a nervous breakdown, but then we saw it:

I think we need a different sign.

I think we need a different sign.

It was far away but we didn’t have a water buffalo in the back so we were able to catch up with the truck and Maile was like “Huh.  Why does this stuff happen to you?” and I thought it was probably that I was just really lucky, and then the truck slowed down and I was happy because I’d get a better picture of the water buffalo, but then we got a little too close and I was like “Shit. Slow down.  He’s gonna jump.”

What?

Sidenote: Those horns seem very unfortunate.  It looks like he’s trying to comb them down into a wig so he can go to the mall without being hassled for being a water buffalo.

And I would have felt really badly if the water buffalo had jumped because I’m not sure Maile is insured for water buffalo car-pounces, but then we realized he was taxidermied.

Then Maile asked “Wait.  Are they going to your house?  Is this your water buffalo?” and I hesitated for a second because I thought, ‘Had I ordered a water buffalo and just forgotten?’  But then I realized there was no way because I’m pretty sure water buffalo are just big cows and it seems a bit sad to hunt down and taxidermy a cow.

Then I thought, “Maybe this is a water buffalo surprise party and Maile was supposed to lure me out of the house so they could deliver the water buffalo” but that seemed unlikely because Victor is terrible at keeping surprises and also he doesn’t like taxidermy or water buffalos.  Turns out it’s my neighbor’s water buffalo.

I don’t have a good way to end this story so I’m just cutting it off there because “Turns out it’s my neighbors water buffalo” is a better ending sentence than “And then we ate some fried chicken and went home.”

PS. I showed the pictures to Victor and it turns out it’s not a water buffalo after all.  It’s a musk-ox.  I’m not sure the difference, but from the pictures I suspect musk-oxen are just water buffaloes with better shampoo.

UPDATED:  I’ve been asked if I’ve made friends with these neighbors and the truth is that I’ve only met a few and the last one uninvited me to a Republican fundraiser when I couldn’t stop laughing and I just handed her a copy of my book to explain why that would be a terrible idea.  I was also asked if the faux-stuffalo could be given a saddle and the answer is “YES”.  The other answer is that if that was my water-buffalo/musk-ox I would put motorized wheels on it and be riding  on it’s back around the neighborhood like mad.  It’s like the best golf cart/wheelchair ever.

Frankly, I'm not sure why no one is riding it at the moment and if they were going slower I probably would have hopped on.  It's like those coin-operated metal horses we used to ride on in front of grocery stores, except with no quarters necessary.  It would only be better if it was a *live* water-buffalo/musk-ox that had GPS and a stereo.

Frankly, I’m not sure why no one is riding it at the moment and if they were going slower I probably would have hopped on and pretended it was a parade float. It’s like those coin-operated metal horses we used to ride on in front of grocery stores, except with no quarters necessary. It would only be better if it was a *live* water-buffalo/musk-ox that had GPS and a stereo.

194 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I’m convinced the universe goes out of its way to put shit like this in front of you. Who the hell else ever sees something like this? No one else, that’s who.

    Like

    Daddy Scratches recently posted UPDATED: Well, this oughta do wonders for my OCD.

  2. Easy, Breezy, Beatuiful, Musk-ox.

    Like

  3. Omg that looks way too real. I would have driven away so fast…
    (Amazing pictures, though. The people of the internet thank you for your contribution lol.)

    Like

    Alanna recently posted American Horror Story: Waiting for a Text Message.

  4. Thank you so much for that laugh. Only in Texas, I suppose? I have never, ever, seen anything like that before.

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted Come Play with Me | Two Truths and a Lie.

  5. Can we just go back for a second to this sentence: “Turns out it’s my neighbor’s water buffalo.”

    Are you friends with this neighbor? Because I think maybe you need to be if you’re not. Clearly you’re MFEO. Either that or this is just a Texan thing that I don’t understand, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. 6
    Megan in Seattle

    You live a charmed life.

    Like

  7. A much-needed laugh after a very tough day for Canadians. Thank you Jenny!

    Like

    NancyTex recently posted bright lights cut through a dark day.

  8. I want to live somewhere I see accidental water buffalo. Texas sounds interesting.

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    Wendy recently posted Christmas Holly Necklace by NerdyNecklaces.

  9. Only you would even consider whether you have ordered a water buffalo and then forgotten about it. Pretty sure I’d remember ordering a water buffalo.

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    Cassandra recently posted Throwdown Thursday: The Power of Positive Procrastination.

  10. I’ve seen some funky things on Texas roads (I drive I-35 to work every day), but this stuff never happens to me!

    Like

  11. You have the life we dream about. Thanks for sharing!!

    Like

    Burns the Fire recently posted Love & Squalor in the Middle East, 2.

  12. Roaring laughing here, especially the first pic that has the water buffalo looking at the leaping deer sign…

    Like

  13. Where I live we don’t see critters that big along the road (or in the back of pickup trucks). Once I did see two groundhogs screwing on the side of the road at a super-busy intersection in my town; your story is so much better. A combination of my story PLUS your story would make the best story ever. (Oxes screwing; not groundhogs in the back of trucks).

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    Gina W. recently posted These shoes ain't made for walkin' (quite the opposite).

  14. Haha and being from the redneck part of Florida, I thought seeing a dead deer strapped to the front of a truck was weird. This is awesome!

    Like

  15. Is your neighbor going to be so kind as to install this wonderful animal on the side of their house where you can also enjoy its view?? MFEO indeed!

    Like

  16. 16
    artsmithphotography

    I think that water buffalo deserves a reward for best costume. He really looks like a muskox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskox).

    (He’s very committed to the role, I’ll give you that. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  17. Go make friends with those neighbors! They clearly have good taste AND cool toys. Just sayin’.

    Like

  18. Water buffalo, sasquatch, musk ox, whatever. I think it would look good in your living room.

    Like

    Manicmom recently posted Earplugs are the coolest accessory.

  19. I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but when I read “Shit. Slow down. He’s gonna jump.” I panicked a little inside. Then I remembered that a. It’s a Stuffalo b. I was not in fact in the car with you and c. You’re a blogger and I don’t actually know you personally. >.<

    Like

  20. I’ve recently moved to Texas and this seems perfectly reasonable.

    Like

  21. I love you so much, Oh Great and Powerful Madam Bloggess.

    Like

  22. Somewhere in Texas a family has a stuffed musk ox in their living room as a coctail party conversation piece.

    Like

  23. I live in Texas. I never see these phenomenal things. I think Houston needs more road-tripping musk-oxen.

    Like

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  24. Your neighbor? Awesome! Your taxidermied animals and theirs can have playdates!

    Like

  25. Wow. I thought you all were exaggerating about Texas! I stand corrected.

    Like

  26. That’s a muskox, native to the Arctic. Their undercoat is called qiviut (kee-vee-utt) and it’s crazy expensive – softer than cashmere and super light and durable. See here: http://www.arcticqiviut.com/

    Like

  27. I just want to know which room of the house they are keeping the water buffalo. Bathroom seems logical because water, but it would also seem odd to store him anywhere that isn’t an entertaining area. For obvious reasons.

    Like

  28. Didn’t you know? Everybody’s got a water buffalo:

    Like

  29. I have never in my life accidentally stumbled upon Taxidermy. Clearly we are not hanging out in the same types of places.

    Like

  30. Nobody’s ever thrown me a water buffalo surprise party either. I need to get better friends.

    Like

    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted Spiders ate my whore pills..

  31. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s musk-oxen.

    Like

  32. I probably would have thought I’ve hallucinated and kept going. These things really do just happen to you!

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    Jess Reyna recently posted Female Anatomy.

  33. In California, I see more people who look like they’ve been taxidermied (stuffed with frozen facial expressions) than I do animals. I think I prefer the animals.

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  34. That Water Buffalo totally needs an Epiphane bag. Just an observation.

    Like

  35. He was taxidermied to boot! Your posts make my day!!! Also, autocorrect says taxidermied is not a word but who cares, because you guys totally get what I mean.

    Like

  36. Definitely calls for a bigger truck.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted One Ringy-Dingy.

  37. I don’t know about musk-oxen, but water buffalo are a run-while-shooting-on-sight kind of critter. Even hyenas & lions won’t mess with them. They are considered the most dangerous animal on the African Savannah.
    And I have watched WAY too much PBS, Animal Planet & other such informative television.

    Like

  38. I think you need to invite that neighbor to dinner.

    Like

  39. Why? Why? Why do I never get to see taxidermied water buffaloes/musk oxen riding around in pickup trucks?! I live in Arizona, which is just as…er…odd as Texas, in its own way (and also chock-full of pickup trucks). I mean, okay, maybe we wouldn’t have water buffaloes/musk oxen here in the desert, but can a girl get a taxidermied bighorn sheep or something?? The only thing I get to see in the back of pickup trucks out here is people. Live ones. Not interesting at all.

    Like

  40. I kind of like how it looks like the deer on the sign and the water buffalo are gazing loving into each others eyes in that one photo. Oh and now I want fried chicken, thanks a lot.

    Like

  41. Southwest Louisiana and while I have never seen a stuffed anything in the back of a pickup, I will say that my first year living here involved a small baby cow jumping out of the back of a pickup truck and trying to get into my car. So that could’ve happened, but with a water buffalo, so maybe you’re lucky it was stuffed? Also why do we not know your neighbor, who clearly shares interests with this blog?

    Like

  42. Your neighbor must be a fan and this is their way of saying, “Hey, I’m cool like you. Want to come hang out with me and my water buffalo/musk ox/great big fur ball of awesomeness?”

    Like

  43. not only do they have better shampoo, but they produce the MOST expensive wool for knitters called Qiviut. 100 dollars an ounce……ask me how I know? Yup, I bought it in Alaska last year, cause I had just broken my arm, and I deserved it,damn it!

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  44. So… this neighbour of yours now owns a taxidermied musk-water-ox-buffalo? I think you need to have a block party where the admission is something stuffed that is not food. Also.. i want to live in your neighbourhood. My life is sorely lacking in taxidermied animals.

    Like

  45. This is one of the greatest stories ever told.

    Like

  46. This is my favourite thing on the whole Internet: http://www.rathergood.com/blode3

    It contains a song about a musk ox. Enjoy!

    Like

  47. You and your neighbors are perfect for each otehr!

    Like

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted A Little of This, A Little of That.

  48. other. Love it when I see the typo as I hit “enter.”

    Like

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted A Little of This, A Little of That.

  49. Anything with a Fletch reference in the title get’s an A+ in my book.

    Like

  50. I live in Sugar Land, very near to Houston, and have never seen a taxidermied ANYTHING in the back of a pick up truck. I have, however, seen my share of dead armadillos, plus one live one at my front door once. I have a photo somewhere. Maybe I just need to leave my house for lunch more often.

    Like

  51. Is your neighbor jealous and trying to outdo you? New reality series: Taxidermy wars!
    You’re welcome.

    Like

  52. I almost live in Houston, in Sugar Land, and I have never seen a taxidermied ANYTHING in the back of a pick up truck. I have, however, seen my fair share of dead armadillos, plus one live one at my front door once. I think he was selling magazine subscriptions or something. Maybe I need to leave my house for lunch more often.

    Like

  53. I think that’s my great aunt Hen.

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    Michelle recently posted I Love You, Man.

  54. 55
    samantha holmes

    My aunt and uncle raised Musk Ox for years on their farm in Saskatchewan. They are ancient creatures and not at all tame. Now they have wild horses on the property instead.

    Like

  55. Poor musk ox being called a water buffalo. Water buffalo are sooooo ugly.

    Like

  56. I never realized I wanted one until now. I’m sure my husband thanks you for that.

    Like

    Danielle recently posted Adventures in Arizona- Day 1 Part 2.

  57. Your neighbors are clearly much more interesting than mine.

    Like

  58. 59
    ramblingsandrandomity

    I fucking love you. But not in a stalkerish way… Rather in an ‘I have spent the whole day being cussed at and having stationery and chairs thrown at me and you make my evenings full of OMG I’m not the only one!!! 😜

    Like

  59. i’m super jealous right now.

    Like

  60. i’m super jealous right now

    Like

  61. I feel like you and your neighbour have a lot in common.

    Like

  62. OH! they just one upped you. now you must get a larger and better taxidermied item and have it delivered to your house.

    Like

  63. So apparently your neighbor both reads your blog and felt the need to engage in a game of serious oneupmanship. How are you going to top a Water Buffalo wearing a Musk Ox costume?

    Like

  64. 65
    Robert in Chicago

    Surely you must know that EVERYBODY’S got a water buffalo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltG37Bbx1qk

    Like

  65. Everyone at work is now looking at me like I’ve finally lost it because I’m laughing so hard. This is awesomeness

    Like

  66. Wouldn’t “fucking water buffalo” indicate that you saw TWO water buffalos…you know…doing it? Am I being two literal?

    Like

  67. The other day, I was eating breakfast at my table in my very quiet, very non-weird residential neighborhood filled with brick houses and manicured lawns, and suddenly a pickup truck stops in front of my house. In the bed of the truck was a life-size stone water buffalo. An actual water buffalo, not a musk ox. I was like, “Please God, if I’ve ever done anything good in my life, let them be delivering a surprise concrete water buffalo to my house.” Sadly, I guess mine wasn’t the house they were looking for, and they drove off. And now I guess I need to spend some time in soup kitchens or retirement homes because God made it very clear that I have not yet earned a surprise water buffalo. But rest assured, had I gotten it somehow, I would totally have sent you pics of it and recruited your help in naming it.

    Like

  68. Now you know what to request for your next birthday! A Water Buffalo and/or Musk Ox Piñata! Get one of each and both you and Victor can have one. Double the piñata, double the fun!

    Like

    random elouise recently posted THE EYE IS BIGGER THAN THE SUITCASE.

  69. Musk-oxen smell better. Duh.

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    Elyse recently posted <i>Who Says I’m Not Gonna Miss You, Glen?</i>.

  70. I’m confused. It wasn’t a live animal, right? What were the neighbours going to do with it?
    So many questions.

    Like

    Gabriela (@cluelesspixie) recently posted film: The Canal.

  71. FYI – because of this awesome post, I discovered Maile Wilson and went to her blog and then discovered her beautiful camera bags. I just ordered one.

    Like

  72. So, I was assuming this was a live buffalo/musk ox and I was all worried he was going to jump or fall out of the back of the truck, but then I noticed he had tie downs. So then I was all, does he have some kind of a harness that those tie downs are attached to? It wasn’t until I went to leave this comment and read the other comments and realized he was actually taxidermied. As much as I love your taxidermy obsession, I really wanted your neighbors to have a live musk ox that you could take Hailey to pet and feed carrots to. Like a pony, only awesomer. I wonder if you get a saddle on that thing? I bet the hair would get in the way of the girth. It would get all tangled up in the buckles. This is getting all ramble-y and starting to resemble a Bloggess post, including made up words, so I’m going to stop now.

    Like

  73. Fun fact, not a water buffalo. It’s a musk ox. Which makes it that much more awesome. I think it’s a sign that you need to visit Alaska again.

    Like

  74. Musk ox=basically a fuzzy arctic water buffalo.

    Like

  75. You need to get to know your neighbors!!! Maybe they’ll let you come over and visit the musk-ox (is Victor wrong?) as long as you bring along some fried chicken and the go home.

    Like

  76. No.. wait.. You can’t leave it with it being your neighbor’s water buffalo in a musk ox disguise. WHY does your neighbor have a disguised water buffalo? Is it for Halloween? If it is, you are going to have to REALLY up your game. Halloween decorations with a water buffalo? It will be hard to top that. Did you miss other deliveries? What if there is a whole safari over there?

    Like

  77. That’s definitely a Bantha

    Like

  78. That’s good advice for life: just follow the water buffalo.

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted October in Purple.

  79. You live in the PERFECT neighborhood, if you love the taxidermied animals AND so does your neighbor. But that whole middle part seriously has to go. What self-respecting musk-ox parts his hair AND horns down the middle? I’m thinking some nice bangs and a side part would be so much better.

    Like

    terib19 recently posted Cranky and Snarky.

  80. We need a sequel. Where is the neighbor planning to PUT the water buffalo? (Sorry, I know you said musk ox, but water buffalo just sounds better.) Can one put taxidermied critters outside, to scare crows or robbers or trick-or-treaters? If not, what room in his house can conceivably be enhanced by the looming presence of a dead bovine with a two-way comb-over?

    Like

  81. i’d love it if someone had ordered that for you!! http://www.thewanderlusthasgotme.blogspot.co.uk

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  82. There really needs to be a like, love, love so much I’m going to burst and get blood/guts all over everything, totally freaking awesome buttons for the comments left here.

    Like

  83. you have one awesome/messed up HOA if your required to maintain stuffed animals in your home

    Like

  84. Honk, Honk, Motherf^cker.

    Like

  85. 87
    SqualorHouseGail

    I totally didn’t realize until I got further down that it was an ex-water buffalo, er, musk ox–not a LIVE one. I looked more closely and saw it appeared to be standing on a cooler and I thought “Nah–no way a live w.b. would be STANDING on a picnic cooler.” LOL.

    Also, I guess I always thought water buffalo and musk ox were interchangeable terms. I’m always learning something new here!!

    Why don’t you send an invite to the neighbors for the musk ox to come over for a play date with YOUR stuffed animals at your house? “Can Musky come out and play?”

    Like

  86. 88
    SqualorHouseGail

    Ooh and shout-out to the Canadian tribe members. What happened sucks and your American friends are standing in support of you!!!!

    (Amen. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  87. there was a live chicken wandering around outside our courthouse making all this clucking noise and folks just walked by it like it wasn’t even there . I love Texans

    Like

  88. you need to look up and listen to the Water Buffalo song by the VeggieTales…

    Like

  89. Why does your neighbor have a taxidermied musk ox? You should compare collections. Maybe you can do visiting exhibitions.

    Like

    Sue recently posted It's hard to understand other people's relationships.

  90. Anybody ever watch Veggie Tales? There was a song called “Everybody’s Got a Water Buffalo,” and I have always dreamed of a world where that would come true. Musk-oxen would also work, I guess.

    If your day would be brightened by watching a rather Texan-looking cucumber sing about water buffaloes, here’s the link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltG37Bbx1qk

    My boyfriend’s mom once bought a raw buffalo hide from a slaughterhouse because she wanted to shave it and use the fur to knit scarves, but she had to keep it in the trunk of her new car for like three days because she was road-tripping at the time. Hopefully this neighbor’s taxidermied buffalo was less stinky!
    http://mayhemandmatriarchs.wordpress.com/2014/07/06/the-buffalo-story/

    Like

  91. Of all the streets in all the towns in all the world, a taxidermied water buffalo/musk ox rides into yours.

    Like

  92. You are clearly tapped in to another plane of existence, and SOMETHING (possibly Cthulhu) is trying to get your attention.

    Like

  93. I’m impressed Victor knew it was a musk-ox right away. I would’ve thought it was a water buffalo too.

    Like

    janice recently posted How I Exercise.

  94. Great…now I will be singing the Veggie Tales “Water Buffalo” song ALLLL DAY!!! “Everyone’s got a water buffalo, mine is fast but yours is slow…”

    Like

  95. Okay, I immediately Googled images of water buffalo, and it sure looks like the ones captioned “African”! The others do have different horns.

    Like

  96. I was so sure this was a Cape Buffalo which I just saw in Zululand South Africa recently but my husband said no, it is definitely a musk ox.

    Like

  97. I’ve got a big ass truck, a case of Shiner and some time to kill before the Project Runway finale. Let’s go claim what is rightfully yours.

    Like

    The Dusty Parachute recently posted My Pumpkin Text Fail.

  98. My next business is to run a Taxidermy consignment place up the street from you and your neighbour.
    Thanks for the CDN shout out SqualorHouseGail. So sad.

    Like

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted Maybe I Will Wait to Invite David Suzuki Over for a Fish Fry.

  99. …think their homeowner’s insurance has a rider for that thing?

    Like

    tanktronic recently posted Eye Candy #35.

  100. I once followed a lion in the back of a truck. I was sure it wasn’t alive, but the wind kept moving it’s tail so I needed to be certain. No one understood. That for so many other reasons is why my people are here.

    Like

  101. Twirrim, I have been singing the water buffalo song in Larry’s voice in my head since I clicked on the link to this post.

    Like

  102. I really, really, really need to get to Texas! When I do- I’d love to buy you a drink (and by buy you a drink, I mean bring a twelve pack of margaritas in a bag and sit in your back yard with Beyonce for a minute before I ring your doorbell and leave them for you and run so I don’t get arrested as a stalker) Unless you would actually meet a semi-stranger for a drink in a public place with Victor for protection and just let me sip my margarita while I listen to you two have a conversation- then I vote for that!

    Like

  103. i was so upset that someone would have a water buffalo/musk ox standing up in their truck… so dangerous. poor animal. but then again, it is now stuffed… probably living in the home office of your neighbor… so well either way it sucks for it.

    Like

    jennifer niles recently posted having fun with time mismanagement.

  104. Oh my gosh, motorized Musk Ox?!?! Best idea I’ve heard in maybe ever!!! I so want to ride that around the neighborhood!

    Like

  105. I never saw stuff like this when I lived in Waco. Where on earth do you live that you see weird shit like this all the time? It’s like you have a magnet for this sort of thing.

    Like

  106. 108
    @shthisisme

    If your neighbor isn’t going to mount that buffali/musk ox on a Segway and ride it like he stole it then your neighbor does not deserve that magnificent beast and should forfeit it to you.

    Like

  107. You know, that musk ox does not look to be properly secured in the bed of the truck. The situation is bound to lead to tears, or worse — morbid giggles over someone’s obituary headline.

    Like

    notesfromthebathroomfloor recently posted Bad, Bad Brain! Tell Your Brain Who’s Boss.

  108. I’ve never seen taxidermy on the road but once a customer showed up in our driveway with a pick-up bed full of taxidermy heads which my hubby agreed to hang in the garage. Months later, after not returning phone calls from same customer, he shows up with a standing ( maybe 12ft tall) GRIZZLY bear!! Fortunately hubby said NO, thanks! Otherwise, it would’ve been stuck in the living room.

    Like

  109. Man, I wish we could “like” or upvote comments. Thank you to Twirrim for the Veggie Tales video. It immediately popped in my head, too. Team Bob!

    Like

  110. You need to get a red-lipped batfish. But wait until one dies of natural causes so you don’t have to kill it before taxidermitization. http://cdn.diply.com/img/72fdf015-e932-49ca-9da0-b3ae11dedba0.jpg

    Like

  111. Just so you know, I live my life daily vicariously through you. That statement should actually scare you – or tell you my life is boring as hell; but either way we live too far apart for me to really be any concrete vicarious threat. But just in case, keep your musk ox friends (neighbors – whatever) close, very close. They may come in handy.

    Like

    Rachelle recently posted Good Food = Happiness.

  112. This seems to me like the universe messing with Victor. I can just imagine him seeing a taxidermied musk ox headed toward your house.

    Like

  113. 115
    Sandy Davis

    So what I getting from this is that collecting taxidermy is contagious and you have infected your neighborhood… or at least a neighbor.

    Like

  114. 116
    ellen in ottawa

    Musk oxen are very cool. Plus they live on the tundra (ie far far far north) so they are cold too. they form circles when threatened, like a covered wagon circle, with babies inside the circle. They eat lichen & other hardly-real-food things. (Lichen are like very flat, dry & colourful fungus).

    Like

  115. I tried to leave a comment about the w i e n e r mobile I spotted, and it wouldn’t let me post it. DANG! censored!

    Like

    itzybellababy recently posted #BringBackOurGirls- Not yet..

  116. Brilliant! If I were graphically inclined, which I am not, I would attempt to design a better sign for you.

    The Bloggess – I would like to speak with you as I have created a blog called The Floggess. I should add the tag line: like the Bloggess, but not nearly as creative and much less clean. I want to check in and make sure you are ok with this. I have been worried that you would be upset because the content is … well… sexual. But, then I thought, obsession with taxidermy must be tangential to fetishism. So, she’s probably all good. But, wanted to check anyway. Hope you’re well! Much respect.

    Like

  117. I am truly surprised that your neighbors thought of ordering up a stuffalo before you did. And I am really curious how a musk-ox made its way to Texas…

    Like

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  118. 120
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    Today I looked in my rear view mirror while I was driving to work and all I saw was the grill of a giant 18 wheeler with the grim reaper hanging front and center. All my brain managed was “uh, oh”. I thought I had a really great funny story until I read this. Your stories trump mine once again! You are becoming my weirdness nemesis!!!

    Like

  119. The difference is that musk oxen are giant snow goats, water buffalo are amphibious cattle.

    Like

  120. OMG! Kind of like those facebook ads that are suppose to be taylored off you search history. Only now it happens in real life!!

    Like

  121. I am fairly sure that we are related!

    Like

  122. 124
    Doug in Oakland

    If you want to ride a water buffalo, please wear a helmet; they are very fast and handle poorly.

    Like

  123. Oh my goodness, I think a water-buffalo with wheels could be the next big thing. This particular musk-ox looks like it was quite the gentleman!

    Like

    hollie recently posted Throwback Thursday.

  124. Hmmm musk ox sounds like a bad 70’s cologne.

    Like

    cupcakethegreat recently posted Don’t underestimate the small stuff.

  125. One time I was driving down the street and saw a couple moose in the back of someone’s pick up. That was distrubing, to be honest. Though I’m sure someone ate very well as a result – since they were dead moose. Very much so.

    Like

  126. How do I subscribe to your blog?

    (Go to http://thebloggess.com/feed/ -It doesn’t work in Safari, fyi. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  127. Ok, so this is exactly why I used to refer to my hair as “yak hair” in middle school. That bad comb job was what I’d end up with when I got out of the pool and tried to tame my ridiculous curls/frizz. I used to plaster it down on either side of my face and it would try to curl up anyway and I’d look like what I thought a yak looked like. Turned out it was really “musk ox hair.”

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  128. And there’s your next t-shirt: “Right. Follow the water buffalo.”

    I will buy it.

    Like

  129. My brother-in-law has a taxidermied musk ox and it does have wheels! He won’t let us ride it though, the wheels are just to make it easier to move. What a waste.

    Like

  130. This is the sign that you have moved into the perfect neighborhood. Do not ever move. The end.

    Like

  131. Reminds me of Groucho Marx talking about the time he shot an elephant in his pajamas.

    Like

    TheJackB recently posted Sometimes You Find Yourself Up Against It.

  132. Oh my gosh! You have to get a musk ox – have you seen the price of the yarn you can make from their underbelly fur? Go right now and google qiviut…seriously, go do it. This could be a really great source of income for you. Side note – I love that you thought for a minute that you perhaps had ordered a taxidermied water buffalo and possibly forgotten about it.

    Like

  133. Preeeettty much the best thing I’ve read all week long. Amazing

    Like

  134. 137
    Lynne Thomas

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jenny! My day is so much better now that I have seen a wine dispensing refrigerator and a taxidermied musk ox (water buffalo).

    Like

  135. I’d avoid the neighbors, they probably shot it in Alaska. Did you know you can’t shear musk ox because they freak out and die? So you have to follow them around and pick up their tufts of undercoat to spin into Qiviut, the most expensive yarn ever.

    Like

  136. 139
    Canadian Natasha

    And now all that is running through my head is, “Everyone’s got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine is slow. Where do we get them? I don’t know. But everyone’s got a water buffalo awoooooo…”. From the other VeggieTales comments I see I am not alone in this. Thanks Bloggess. Thanks.

    Like

  137. Shear that musk ox! The underfur of such an animal is call quivit and is highly prized as a yarn. It is finer than cashmere, 8 times warmer than wool, and you would need a second mortgage to buy enough for a sweater. A lacy scarf’s worth is, like, at lest $50. So. Like I said, shear that mother!

    Like

  138. I moved to Texas 8 months ago and so far you’re the only other person I know that is NOT a a Republican. We need to be best friends.

    Also, there’s a house a few miles from me with a giant metal chicken in the driveway. My 12 year old son is convinced you live there. We’ll stop by someday for tea.

    (Ha! My metal chicken is in the backyard. I don’t trust people not to steal it. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  139. ‘Did I order a water buffalo and forgot?’ OMG, laughing til I cry!!! And now I want a water buffalo

    Like

  140. Possibly Mr Buffalo will be the guest of honor at the Republican fundraiser. Should you reconsider?

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Cats and Birds.

  141. 144
    Lisa L. Swanson

    I, too, only have one song in my head for this scenario, musk-ox or no:

    Like

  142. If the Republicans have the endorsements of musk-ox then we are most assuredly screwed.

    Like

    Aussa Lorens recently posted There’s A Slight Chance I’m A Future Serial Killer.

  143. 146
    Lisa L. Swanson

    Wow, I got to leave the gross-numbered comment! And I’m following it up, thinking maybe they were just going to the store to get some lima beans. Whatevs, right?

    Like

  144. Actually, I have seen a Muppet driving a convertible down the road once, but I didn’t get a picture because I was driving and it was 10 years ago so the whole good phone pictures thing hadn’t really happened yet.

    Like

  145. This. Is so amazing. I’ve [silently] loved you for so long, and after reading this post earlier today and having just come across this, I couldn’t help but share..

    Not quite as cool as a must-ox, buuuut

    Like

  146. Wait. That should probably say “musk-oxen.”

    Like

  147. ” I suspect musk-oxen are just water buffaloes with better shampoo” OMG that iz so funny…

    Like

  148. Oh yes, I googled them and Musk Oxen are quite fluffier than Water Buffaloes

    Like

  149. so, my husband just wandered up and i have to give him props ’cause he took one look and said “Why is there an ox in the back of that truck? Wait, did she buy an OX?!?” I just love that he knows your blog enough to even guess at that…

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  150. Hilarious story, it would only happen to you and I love that you have a neighbor with similar interests. 3 small changes to consider, DRIVE should be DROVE in 6th line. 8th paragraph neighbor’s needs apostrophe and in the PS maybe add “about” the difference. Waiting patiently for your next book….

    Like

  151. Funniest question… “Did I order a water buffalo and forget?” I hate when that happens.

    Like

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  152. Best thing I’ve ever seen was a clown in full getup driving a little blue econobox. He waved when I took the picture…years ago so it’s not yet digital. (And totally lost but that’s another matter.)

    Like

  153. This is in no way related to the topic at hand, but I really needed a place to vent and thought, perhaps Jenny will grant me rant asylum. Will you please? Thanks.

    Why is this the only place on the internet where I don’t have to read about Kim Kardashian. I completely realize I just made my own point moot by introducing it, and for that I’m sorry, but it must be said. Her butt – which some may say is musk-ox like and thus makes this post semi relevant to the topic…but not really, no. Anyway, thank you for providing a Kardashian free blog and sorry for ruining your Kardashian free blog; which I love. Also, sorry for randomly inserting punctuation which is probably not correct, but it’s rather intimidating posting on the site of a Super Doctor of Journalism. I’m pretty sure I have that phobia of misusing punctuation. I’m not sure it really exists, but it must as I frequently sweat when faced with the thought I’m supposed to use a comma. I wonder if my parents can get a partial refund check from the over priced parochial school they sent me to 20 years ago. Ok, sorry…now your blog may be subpoenaed in the upcoming litigation.

    Damn, this so didn’t turn out like it did in my head. (For good measure in case I missed any, . :😉

    Like

  154. I think what concerns me most is that you are apparently the only person in Texas who thought a muskox in the back of a pick-up truck was strange. Well, that and the fact that the muskox is Republican.

    Like

  155. I think motorizing the noter-buffalo is an excellent idea. Just be sure to put one of those extra-long flag poles on the hind end for increased visibility!!

    Like

  156. Hmmm, what type of community do you live in ;-}
    I remember the first & only time I saw a taxidermied bison on top of someone’s station wagon. And that is why I drive to PA when ever I get a chance, you never know what you’re going to see in that state🙂

    Like

  157. I absolutely love your blog and I usually vote Republican. I read your book, and if I could get you to come to a republican fundraiser, that would be at the top of my advertising! I lean libertarian (free-market, small government, social liberal), but so do a majority of Republicans these days. Perhaps Texas Republicans are different?

    Like

  158. I’m disappointed it wasn’t a Yak.

    Like

  159. While working up north, we’d call their horns a”musk-coif”. Looking good, Musky!

    Like

  160. This makes me so happy!

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  161. Jenny, you are right (as usual), that is OBVIOUSLY a water buffalo AND it deserves an academy award for it’s impersonation of a Musk Ox. We all know by now that Victor is wrong, it says so on the internet.

    Like

  162. Love that you used that Fletch quote!

    Like

  163. It seems to me you could get any good sized (ethically) taxidermied animal and make it a motorized wheeled thing. Like a bear. Or a mountain lion.

    Like

    Jen Donohue recently posted Digital Vatican.

  164. I think I need to move to the US. Never once have I driven behind any large taxidermied cattle. I had the shit scared out of my by a wildebeest once, but I was 8 and I was standing to close to the fence at the zoo.

    Like

    Jamie recently posted You can’t sing ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ while smiling!.

  165. I knew it wasn’t a buffalo. You know WHY I knew? 8th grade teacher had a buffalo head mounted on the classroom wall. Guess who had to sit under it, and had it looming over her like a dead, hairy, avenging angel all year?

    And ppl wonder why I homeschool.

    Like

    The Imp recently posted I’m Going To Get Arrested.

  166. Ah, forgetting that you ordered a taxidermied water buffalo. Happens to the best of us.

    Like

  167. Somehow, the possibility that it actually was a water buffalo (musk ox, whatever) when I started reading this was not even remote in my mind. Go figure. I think you need to become friends with your neighbours. Think of the creative Christmas creche you could make if you put your collections together! That was accidental alliteration (there I go again) but you can co-opt the phrase. You’re welcome.

    Like

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  168. Also, I think Fletch was probably right before Chevy Chase kinda lost his charm for me.

    Like

  169. Maile sounds like the best friend ever. You have an amazing support system.

    Like

  170. And… what I was thinking about qiviut has already been said. Four times. I love your blog.

    You should one-up them with vicuña. (Only ethically sourced, though. Poor vicuñas– people want them to death!)

    Like

  171. I took the liberty of making waterbuffalosurpriseparty one of my new passwords (with numbers and asterisks sprinkled in). Also thinking of trying it out on the kids, as the new answer to everything. “No, you can’t (have another slice of pizza, play more video games, give the dog a mohawk) because…water buffalo surprise party.”

    Like

  172. And I thought my life was F-ed up…
    LOVED this, Jenny. You have to leave the house more often.

    Like

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  173. It’s not a musk ox, but I thought of you when I just saw a commercial that featured this (dead mouse theatre): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6J3xfMMz0Bcz1RaXJ5lULw76-uIbF-j5

    Like

  174. 178
    RogueHamster

    I keep reading this. I can’t stop. I’m also having fun imagining the Christmas creches TriGirl suggested. I was sort of disappointed to discover this was a taxidermied water buffalo, though (or a musk ox, or what have you). I thought maybe he (the water buffalo) had found a creative means of transportation and was spending the day enjoying the scenery. You never know.

    Lazy and creative. The water buffalo.

    Like

  175. This is my new favorite thing.

    Like

  176. Um….what is the musk ox doing at your neighbor’s house? Are you going to start a game with them where you try to secretly steal the other’s taxidermied animals kind of how fraternities or rival schools steal mascots as a prank competition?

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  177. I miss Texas even more after reading this post.

    Like

  178. I fucking love Texas. Weird-ass shit happens there every day. I’m Texas born and bred, but no longer living there. Thanks for bringing me my much needed dose of ‘crazy shit Texans do’.

    Like

  179. Musk Ox was actually an answer on Jeopardy once in which then Alex replied – “its my favorite animal.”

    WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT????????????

    Like

  180. Ok so it was an answer twice on Jeopardy (that I know of)

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  181. 187
    Holly Nicole

    Holy carp, I can’t believe I’m only reading this now. One of my nicknames (given to me by an actual live person who isn’t myself) is Dances With Musk-ox. Long story and I won’t bore you with it, except to say that I have danced with a baby mox and they are fun critters.

    Like

  182. I live in Nunavut Canada. It is the northern most part of Canada and Musk Oxen live wild on the tundra. They are VERY hard to find and hunt as they live in obscure areas. I like them because they look prehistoric🙂

    Like

  183. I can actually top this. I’m currently in Nouakchott, Mauritania, which is located in the Sahara desert. It’s not uncommon to see camels in the back of pickup trucks here, but last night we saw one sticking out of the trunk of a little Renault 21. It was alive, and moving its head back and forth. My husband got great pics but we can’t unload them till we’re home (mid-Nov)–watch my blog then for pictures!

    Like

    planetnomad recently posted How to Get Over Jet-Lag with the Judicious Use of Caffeine; Mor-Maur 14 part 2.

  184. I love the fact that you saw it at a Deer Crossing sign.

    Like

  185. He has Marleau Thomas “That Girl” hair-horns.

    Like

    foolery recently posted Foolery’s Rules: Poison Oak.

  186. You probably already saw this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdD7iXa5klk
    It’s got you written all over it.🙂

    Like

  187. 193
    thingsamommyneeds

    Well, at least they tied him down. It’s not like they were COMPLETLEY irresponsible while transporting him.

    Like

  188. Who the hell ever sees something like this?? Jesus! Made me laugh, that’s for sure! Congratulations for your blog, from Portugal!

    Like

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